Sex With Emily - SWE: Single for the Holidays

Episode Date: December 23, 2012

Emily is your survival guide to being single for the holidays. How to embrace being single and why you should making a dating and/or relationship resolution for the New Years, like dating and sleeping with people you actually like. Happy holidays one and all! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Check one two one two check check all right. We're on the camera. We're good. We're on There's no way I could do a setup because Can't do the intro because we're already live The computer's way over there. I can't do it can't we start over? No, we're already live I wasn't prepared emotionally just kidding. Hi, you're seeing the sector then we were I was about to say if you were serious right now, it's gonna be pissed. You're talking about sex relationships and everything in between today is a free Friday show. So thanks everyone for listening to this show and we are just chilling today because it's

the day before the whole holiday crazy weekend. And we didn't have to show today, but we wanted to be here and just say happy holidays and thank you to everybody for listening to the show. We are so grateful for all of our listeners and our watchers and our viewers and our peeps. We are. And it feels really good. It does.

It's been a great year. It has been a really great, crazy year. I would like to thank the people at Stitcher for giving us a home, STI, T-C-H-E-R, download the free app because they let us do a show in their studios every single day. And you can stream the radio show, you can hear other radio shows, just download that. Right, exactly.

It's free. Just do it, it's fun. So we like being here. And like today, I don't know. So I'm kind of relieved that I don't, I mean, everyone's in the crazy frantic Christmas shopping end of the year thing. And I'm grateful that I don't have a boyfriend

or anything to buy anything for. Because I can't. Because you don't want to spend money on them. There's not money just like stressful. Like everyone's like stressing what to get, what to get, what to get, like, ah, I'm so glad I'm avoiding that completely this year. I think a lot of people that get a lot of breakups happen

because people don't want to do with gifts, but I didn't have anyone to break up with. I just don't have anyone to gift except for myself, maybe. It's my, and my interns. It's my favorite time. And you. Yeah. It's your favorite time, are you buying gifts for people?

Yeah, I just, you know, just my like sales staff, the people that people at work that, you know, my sales staff, basically what a sales staff is, they convince other companies to say, hey, menace is awesome to endorse your product. Right. So, these people work hard all year long to convince people to invest in me as a person to out the box. I understand.

Yeah, that's awesome. So, I got all of them some bottles of alcohol. Of course. And they loved it. They loved the alcohol. So I did that. Yeah. And you know, it's actually, I wish around this time I did have a girlfriend too because I love shopping.

I love finding gifts for people and getting them to get that they would love. Right. Do I like receiving gifts? No, because I never get what I want. You don't? No, because I'm really like anything that I really want is super expensive and it's not, you know, I'm not going to have something. So why would I even try to get you would want a bottle of alcohol if I shut up with the bottle of alcohol?

Yeah, a bottle of alcohol is cool. A bottle of alcohol is cool. That's how I can think to get you. I have like, racked my brain. I'm like, what can I get menist? Well, he likes to drink and he also likes to drink. Yeah, anything. about a lot of things. That's how I can think to get you, I've like racked my brain, I'm like, what can I get men as well? He likes to drink and he also likes to drink. Yeah, anything.

But then I didn't know, I don't know. But everything that I really want that's non alcohol involved is like over $1,500. Like what? What is even $1,500? Backbook computers, cameras, stuff like's just that's a kind of stuff that I really want but I'm not gonna find anybody by that for me so I I don't want anybody to get me gifts okay thanks good to know because you are on my list but I mean if you find a bottle of like you know what tell tell me you

V evaka What is that? I'm just kidding. That's the cheapest Vaca you can ever buy. I'm getting, I would only get you good vodka. No. I promise. So yeah, and then the holidays, I don't really know, like I was sick of this party last night and go,

I'm gonna be around just friends and hanging out and doing. Are you gonna go to the party? You're not gonna go? I'm not. I was gonna go to party last night, but I was so tired because I was back from LA. And then tonight, I'm gonna go out with some friends

and just get drinks and be chill and be mellow. That's cool. It's awesome. So, yeah, what else? I just, it's just weird because as I get older and older, like my, all my friends, you know, we used to get together for the holidays. And we hit up all the old bars in our town and stuff like that

And you know, just kind of rage and party a little bit. But now almost every single one of my friends has a kid now. Really? Yeah. Yeah. So they're not playing. And now they have wives and the wives don't want them going out, you know? Right. So especially with me, because I get my friends in trouble. They're supposed to be out for a couple hours and then they come home the next day. Right, exactly. I think I'm the single girl too,

that people are really, I'm like still single and you're running about with her. And yeah, my girlfriends are like, we're going out with Emily, right. How are we those people? We've become those people. Yeah, that's not like I sought out to be that person. That's just, you know.

That's just who we are. So I am. And yeah, maybe next year I'll be all hugged up with somebody. I think you will be if that's what you want. I mean, I think that people have to learn. People have to think about it. That's what you want. New Year's resolutions, all that stuff.

Like do people have sexual resolutions? Do you have dating resolutions? Do you have things that you Hope for in the new year in that realm of your life. So what would you want for like next year? We're sitting here Well, Kano relationship. Would you like to have going on? Well, you have to put it out there into the universe Yeah, but I'm like searching for it. It's not gonna happen either That's not sure you have to visualize what it looks like everyone do this right now What's it like what for it, it's not gonna happen either too. That's not true, you have to visualize what it looks like. Everyone do this right now.

What's it like? What does it feel like? It feels like it may happen. Sorry, I'm getting kicked, but don't do it. No, but what is it? I don't wanna even bring it up. The dog's here. My dog's here.

I don't know how I feel about the dog being here. She's's here. You don't have to feel about the dog being here. She's so cute. I should put her in camera. No. Okay, so um. But what I mean is, it's important for you like I want a relationship, I wish I was in single blah, blah, blah. But do you know what that looks like, feels like, smells like, tastes like, like, what,

what does that relationship like? Even if you don't know the person, like, obviously you don't know the person, but do know what you want that relationship to be like. And then you have to go get it and you have to look for people with those traits and all that stuff. Yeah. How about you? Well, I am looking at it. And I think that I need to set myself up more for being open to finding love.

I think I am more open. I think I'm more clear on what I want in the sense of and what I don't want. So I think I need to talk about, I think I need to talk about, I had a listener email me and say that I actually did that show did air with the guy. Oh, with the guy, we never went to any of that. Right. So I think we can talk about it because the show that aired last week, if did air the guy we never want to right so i think we can talk about it because the show that aired last week if you guys are miss if you guys missed

friday if you miss last week show is one last week shows i talked about going to nap a with this guy and uh... and he came on the show because he came in late and then that show apparently aired okay yeah shows that are shows yes

you're not ordered well the breakdown peopley yesterday. We didn't know if we could talk about your nap adventure because we recorded it. We recorded the show with this guy like late in the evening. Right. It wasn't like normal hours. It wasn't normal show. So we didn't know if it aired. So yesterday we didn't talk about it, but now that we know exactly. So let's just put it out there. So let's break it down exactly what happened. Thank you for the people that missed it So there's this guy that I that I've known since I was 10 years old lives in Michigan and I sat next to him in fifth grade and I thought it was really cute and I always had a crush on him from like

It's from young age to like, you know 20 or something like that and Then I never saw him all these years never saw him never saw him and I was Michigan someone's like you should go out with this guy He's just got divorced Because he was married right like everyone in Michigan married. I was like wow. Okay. Yeah, I guess we can go up To go now and Michigan when I was there and we had a good date And then he flew out here to visit me Yes, yes, and then he came on the show when he landed. And said hi, right? Yeah. And then we were leaving for a nap on the next day.

Am I missing a whole part about the drinks that we all had? I mean, while hung out and had drinks and like talked about it. Yeah, that was cool. And he liked them. Yeah, I thought he was cool. And then we went to, yeah, and then we started talking about Napa. And then he's like, oh, I know some people on Napa. But that's all I know. We like, we parted ways after we were not drinking. So what happened? We went to Napa. Drove up there.

It was really beautiful. He has never been. And, you know, we don't really know each other. So I thought it was cute when I was 10. But I haven't seen him in years. I don't really know him that well. So it's kind of like we're still like't really know each other. So I thought it was cute when I was 10, but I haven't seen him in years. I don't really know him that well. So it's kind of like we're still getting to know each other. And we went to this vineyard and had like an amazing lunch and wine tastings and pairings and stuff like that.

And it was beautiful. I mean, got a little buzzed in the middle of the day as you do in Napa. And we went back to our hotel room, which we got a hotel room. And made out heavily. We might have made out, but what really happened was we just passed out and fell asleep. Oh, okay. So there was no sex. I went up to Napa with a guy that flows across country and there was no sex. Wow, you're such a tease.

I'm not a tease. We both were like really tired. And you might think you can analyze him and be sex. Wow, you're such a tease. I'm not a tease, we both were like really tired. And you might think you can analyze them, you're like, well, you should have a year early into each other, but I think we're just getting to know each other. You're taking it slow. I'm taking it slow, and I always say that people should put sex on hold.

Don't rush into sex. Ironic coming from me, you think sex to them, but really, I believe that there is no, and I've changed this as I've gotten older, I think that like you just, there's no reason to rush into sex. Like you can always have sex. It will be there. Why not prolong it?

Why not just kind of get to know the person before you have sex with them? Because when you get second, when you have sex with someone, you get attached to them. And when you could attach them in this different way, you get attached them like sexually, the chemistry in your body, like you get attached them like sexually chemist the chemistry in your body like you're attached like physiologically. But then you don't see the other thing is you don't see the other things in the person. So if you take sex out of the equation and first it sound like a Mormon or something, right? And you don't rush right into it, then you just appreciate everything else.

So do you think that when he flew out here, he thought he was going to get laid? I don't know. You don't know. What do you think? when he flew out here, he thought he was gonna get laid? I don't know. You don't know. What do you think? I mean, me personally, if I flew across the country, to go hang out with some girl, I, and she was like in on it, you know, excited to see me. It's very surprising.

I created a shocking. I agree it's shocking. I believe that I would probably have sexual intercourse with that person. Right. No sexual intercourse with that person. Right. No sexual intercourse. If I if he was just like in town for other things and then we'd are just hanging out. It was a weird it was it was an interesting it was an interesting little excursion and yeah and it was growth and I feel like it was different and it was mature and it was cool. That's cool. Yeah it's so nuts like crazy want to use that story but maybe I'll

come back over the holidays with some good stories like that. Yeah, that'd be good because you know the holiday parties people are just you know Looking for some some love a couple extra martinis I got to drink some more martinis over the holidays and I have to Drink some champagne. You know champagne's my favorite. I'll drink champagne over what's your favorite champagne? My favorite champagne. Yeah Well, of course I'll drink champagne over what's your favorite champagne my favorite champagne. Yeah Well course I mean crystal, but that's like 300 bucks, but the lesser Costling one is the one with the orange label. I always forget what the name of it is or then there's Moette to Moette

It's really good and then do you know what? If anybody has, Liz, buy a Trader Joe's. Trader Joe's has a sparkling wine. Yeah. That's like 699 and it's so good. Wow. Oh my god. I'm going to try it now. Yeah, just look for Trader Joe's 699, sparkly wine. I'm going to tell you good. It's just like any champagne out there. You won't even know the difference. But my dream one day when I become rich and famous is to get a bottle of a spade champion. Where do you get that? You gotta go to a special place to get spade champion. It's like minimum, like $400 a bottle. Wow.

Yeah. Yeah, one day you'll just be drinking those for breakfast. I know that's gonna happen. There's this guy, there's this guy, he's like a hide roller, you can Google him in Las Vegas. And his name is Don Johnson, right? Don Johnson is, it's not the same guy. Don Johnson is a famous actor.

But this guy is such a hide roller. He's like part of some tech company. So every time he rolls the Vegas, DJs will notice him in the club and they'll stop the music and they go give it up for the real mother fucking Don Johnson in the house Because this guy like parties like hardcore, right? All the time and all the time down in the champagne. Yeah, so he he buys the bottles of the space champagne and I saw I read this article where he bought there was a like those oversized bottles of champagne you ever see those. Well, there was this like giant one and it was it's worth like $120,000.

Oh my God. And he bought it and he was partying in like fucking in sprayin' it in the air and shit. I'm like, wow, must be nice. That's crazy. So I give it up to the real motherfucking badger. I wouldn't be done. I wouldn't wanna hang out with that guy though. Oh, what? I like sounds�**er. I wouldn't be done. I wouldn't want to hang out with that guy though.

Oh, what? I like sounds like a party. I know. And I heard a rumor. I don't know if it's true. But like this guy, Don Johnson, he's super into old classic rock. And he played, he paid, um, deadmouse, who's this, like international, huge DJ, like,

electronic music. He paid, deadmouse, $85,000 to play, like, Bon Jovi in the middle of his DJ set, just because he wanted to hear Bon Jovi. Wow. So he's like, here's 85 grand. He has so much money. Because he's his partner in the owns of tech company. Oh, okay, God. Yeah. That's interesting. It's crazy. They. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's interesting It's crazy. They're crazy high rollers out there. There's crazy crazy things Vegas isn't real life You know, I know I know we still need to do our Vegas show. How come we're never how come that never happens? I want to do because you were just not ready. I'll go do it anytime. I'll go I'm there. We'll do it and I want to say it's nothing to fly there from here

Honestly, it's like a hundred bucks. We could easily do the show anywhere. Yeah, it'd be cool I don't see why we don't take it on the road. We're sitting around this room. We love Stitcher and all but There's so many other places being go and so many other things we can do Yeah, so did you have to buy any presents because I want to give a shout out to our sponsors Did I have to buy any? Yeah, because Adam and and Eve and Jimmy Jane are, if you are looking for something sexy and you have a partner and you are in a relationship and sex toys for men and women, I'm going to say some things. Adam and Eve, you put in coupon code, Emily, check out and you get 50% off most items,

free gift, free shipping, blah, blah, blah, all that's great. Plus the Kim Kardashian sex DVD. What? Yeah. They're thrown in the sex DVD with anything you buy. So do that. And buy a present, buy a vibrating ring, buy the Hattachimatchek wand, buy a rabbit, buy couples, they've coupled gifts, like, you know, sensuality kits and massage kits, stuff like that.

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People might not have bought all their stuff yet. Speaking of Kim Kardashian in this sex tape. I never saw it. I actually want to order something from Adam and Eve to get the sex tape. It's so funny because we were talking off off there. It's crazy how much knowledge I know about the Kardashians, right? Yeah, it's almost crazy. I can't believe you're going on until like thing earlier.

I was talking earlier about Chris Jenner and Bruce Jenner and like their backgrounds and all this stuff earlier before the show started. I won't bore you with that. But the sex tape thing was brought up just recently because you know above our Walter she does the 10 most fascinating people of the year or the year or whatever. And she did the Kardashians and she's like I've never had so much backlash on choosing somebody but then her interview was really good with them. It was all the Kardashians, all the female Kardashians except for the really younger but then her interview was really good with them. Who was it with?

It was all the Kardashians, all the female Kardashians, except for the really younger ones. And she was like blunt, she's like, how do you feel about being so successful, so successful without having talent in all these things? And she's like going in, she's like, the sex tape is what really made you famous. Right.

Wow. So what did she say to that? She said that, it was a situation, and we just ended up just turning it into a positive thing. And it could have just been totally negative. And then we just, Yeah, then I made $65 million. Then it all feels really good.

And I'm ready for my sex tape number two. No, I don't think she'll be coming out with any more sex tapes anytime soon, but yeah, it is crazy how they turn that one sex tape into a giant business and every single family member taking care of in their own different way. Right. It's insane. It is insane.

It's like, it's smart. It's the mom. Yeah, the all the mom is amazing. So I need someone to manage all my mom I happen to. Yeah, I think the mom is she gets a lot of crap. Why? Because she's the mom manager and she's always making the money and getting them to do things and all this stuff. and getting them to do things and all this stuff. But one of the, they were bringing that up in the interview and Courtney Kardashian, which is the older sister said, you know what, we give her a lot of crap for giving her 10% and having us do these things, but at least it's going to the family.

We could be paying somebody else's bills. Exactly, you might as well. That's what you pay for your man to be in the age of four, totally. So there's that. And then, um, okay. Did you buy any gifts for anybody? Yeah, I'm going to do it. I got my intern's gifts. I just got them gifts to forget. So whatever. But I didn't have time. I'm going to go today. I'm just feeling really, um, it's been a little crazy. And well, it's been a little crazy. It's been a little crazy. So I'm just today, I'm going

to go shopping. Isn't that crazy the other day before or two? Yeah. But I'm not going to stress about it. I just, there's a few people that I want to get things forward a little late, but I'm just going to do it today. Yeah, you'll be fine. I'll be fine. Not really worth it. I mean, you'll wait in a couple lines, but that's okay. Yeah, it's going to be kind of how. But if you are, so we're both single for the holidays.

Yeah. So we have some stuff here about if you're single for the holidays, what you can do that are non-traditional activities to me people. What would that be? Okay. You could, and you could, okay, non-traditional activity, you could go to a movie by yourself, an action flick will do the trick. A movie by yourself, how are you going the trick. A movie by yourself? How are you gonna talk to anybody? You just start talking to people. I don't know.

And the movie, I just think you can talk in the movies. Meet new people, ask your friends to invite you with them and their co-workers and gov drinks and offer to reciprocate. It's a great untapped source for singles. I think that's so true. Everyone meets through their friends. Like I go out with friends and their friends

from office drinks, like I love doing that. Cause you're meeting a whole new, we're so insular. And how often do you say yes to your friends whom but you are? Are you over like, Like, I love doing that because you're meeting a whole new, we're so insular. And how often do you say yes to your friends whom you are? Are you over like, no, I don't know them. I won't know anyone. You got to just start saying yes. Like the new year, if you are single,

it should be about just saying yes to every opportunity that comes your way, every opportunity that's safe, that comes your way, like an invitation to whatever. Just go. Yeah, the holiday parties and stuff like that. Yeah, I mean, they're almost ending the holiday parties. Well, there's still more holiday parties. Oh, no, there's definitely still.

I met somebody through a holiday party a few years ago. A lot of people meet. We did a holiday party, a sex show once on a holiday sex party. Do you ever hook up with anyone at the holiday party like in the back in the closet? Not at the actual party, but I mean, I met somebody and then hooked up with them later. Right, good.

I'm sure you did. Okay, and then make a holiday resolution. The New Year's resolutions are coming up. But plan to do something over the holidays that you've always wanted to do and follow through. Recruit a friend to join you if the holidays have gotten you feeling lonely. So these are people who are alone,

make a resolution something you want to do differently. I'm gonna be alone for the holidays, but I don't really mind. Oh, what? Be alone. I'm gonna be alone. But now I'm gonna be with friends. I'm not alone. I'm not alone. So, um, I don't know what I'm doing. I'm doing a new years myself. What are you doing? I knew yours. I haven't made any plans yet. I haven't had a chance to think about it. I'm not a big new year's person. It is sort of JV night like really or amateur night I just don't like the whole I like hanging out at friends houses and we always have a big New Year's day party

That's sort of the tradition with my friends. We like party all day a New Year's day After the night. Yeah, well, we go out that night sort of but usually we get up early to have this day party That's so fun. It's our own little tradition. Yeah, I haven't I haven't had an amazing New Year's night and since 2001. Wow. Are you serious? No, no, no, no. 2002. What happened? It was just just crazy because there was still like back then there was kind of like the dot com boom right right. right a lot of people spending money on advertising so the radio station that I was working out the time had a tour bus with our radio station logo on it like decked out okay I was so drove you ever where you

can get your uncle night yeah and I you know it was just me my best friend who wasn't even the radio and we we had this tour bus and a driver. So we're just going club the club. We're just like, inviting people in the tour bus. That's so fun. That's really fun. I don't think that I'm bussiness city and go all around and you know, we're driving and you can go anywhere you want at a whim. Yeah. And it was, it was really cool. We had like four clubs at night. We had like all these hot chicks with us. We brought them all back to the radio station. We're like making out with them and stuff. And it was was like it was one of the best new years

I've ever had that's amazing. I can't even remember my last two years. Now they were bad I just don't know nothing sticks out. Yeah, there's so much pressure to a new years when you you're with somebody to to make sure I know I hate that so just don't do it don't pressure yourself yourself. Just have fun. Like people shouldn't make it. That's a big thing. Just be with people you like. Surround yourself with your people, your friends. That's what I learned later in my life. Like I don't want to go to a fancy event or buy a ticket or whatever.

Just friggin hang out with people you like. There's like four parties I can go to. But I just don't want to go to any parties. You can go to. I know I don't want to do anything either. But I'm going to rejuvenate and I'm going to do a lot of writing and I'm going to Work on my next book. I've a whole week off like really like I'm gonna come see you into the show But like I'm not working in the office. Yeah, we're gonna do the show from the old the place

Yeah, the sound will be great next week Yeah, and the sound is not because of stitcher. I'm telling you right now. It's not a stichy I know it's all of our fault. I feel like I'm not saying I don't really have anything else to say right now at the show. You're done. Oh, like I feel like I didn't bring I just wanted to really I wanted to just say thank you to everyone for listening and um, guarantee 2012 is going to be amazing. 2012 is going to be amazing for such a lonely. I am grateful for everybody. Thanks to everyone who comes to subscribers and friends of benefits and supports the show.

And I just want to say that I couldn't do that. You're very grateful. And I love hearing from everybody. So thanks for emailing me at feedback at such an moe.com. I read out your emails and we'll be answering more next week for sure. Yeah. And just again, I feel so bad because we can't, at the moment, we can't divulge what the hell has been going on for sure. Yeah and just again like I feel so bad because we can't we at the moment where we can't divulge like what is what the hell has been going on for a long time and why

the shows have been all like out of place and all crazy but I guarantee you the show is going to be crazy awesome in 2012. Exactly it's going to be good for the roof you guys are going to freak out so I just want to say yeah it's true that's it that the roof. You guys are going to freak out. So I just want to say, yeah, it's true. That's it. That's what I got. But we'll do this later. So anyway, I mean, next week. But happy holidays and Hanukkah and Christmas and whatever else you celebrate.

Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. Whatever it is. Okay. Thanks for listening to Sex with Only. It was good for you. Email me. Feedback.it's sexwithatm.ly.com.

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