Sex With Emily - SWE- Single or Taken?

Episode Date: February 4, 2013

A podcast on why it's great to be single or taken on Valentine's Day. It's a perfect night to go out and meet someone or stay in and have sex with someone you love. In case you're wondering, you definitely count as someone you love. Self-love is one of the most rewarding things in the world. Emily shares her best and worst V-day experiences, and what made them special or subpar. Her best V-day was in the third grade when her classmate gave her cash in her Valentine. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Evelyn You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got a standard oh my the women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry?

It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. This episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors, Masks Sexual Flavor Sticks. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate.

It's kind of like a mystery and strap, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex is only for free, check out MAST at sexualflavors.com. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com. We can list to our podcast, Center for Mailing ss feed find out how to find us on Facebook and Twitter. Happy Valentine's Day everyone. I'm here with menace our special Valentine's Day show. I know. I'm excited. I

actually like Valentine's Day. You do? I do because my mom's surprise. So Valentine's Day was always a big time in the year bigger than Christmas. Your mom's a florist. We've gone over this million times. My mom's a florist. My grandmother, my grandmother times my mom's a florist my grandmother my grandmother makes wedding cakes so they want me to get married you know oh my god You have to get married yeah ever since I was a little kid though and then this is the best part about about Valentine's Day when your your mother is a florist In high school she would force me and I think her now she would give me like two giant bags of single roses and I would just give them to all the Girls that sweet. Yeah, that's sweet. We used to do that in high school where they had like carnations and you could pay a dollar And then they would deliver it to people and like some girls like the pom pom girls would be walking around the cheerleaders with tons of them and then some with other

You know, I used to get a fair amount and you would exchange little and some with other, you know, I used to get a fair amount. And you would exchange little parts too. Yeah, like, hey, happy Valentine's Day. It's fun, I love Valentine's Day. Yeah, I am mixed on it. I'm mixed on the pressure about Valentine's Day because I feel like, What kind of pressure do you have as a woman?

Well, that's okay. That is a great question. I think that that's what we should discuss. You're gonna get it up. That maybe that's the right person. Are you supposed to, do you think that Valentine's Day is just for men or women as well?

Like when you're dating someone, do you expect, let's say you're with someone for six months. Do you expect her to give you a Valentine's Day present? I never expect the woman to give me a Valentine's Day present. So you're not bombed if she doesn't? No. Okay, you think it's all about the woman? It's all about the woman, yeah. I think it's kind of about both.

I think if you're with somebody, you should give them both. But here's some ideas for Valentine's Day. If you've got to give a shout out to Adam and Eve, make this Valentine's Day. One that you will both never forget, because we've got this amazing offer from AdamNieve.com. As you know, Adam and Eve, you can get any sex toy you want,

any sex day, you can break it down. You can look for sex toys for couples, for individuals. You can sort by different kinds of vibrators that you like and you get 50 off any item. So just go to AdamNeeve.com, you'll find over 18,000 adult entertainment products, including toys, lingerie, menace, your favorite, and a seemingly endless selection of adult DVDs. You can sort by like porn for women, porn for men. I think this is a great way you can do your one-stop shopping.

And they'll have, they have fast free shipping in your entire order and you get a free DVD and other free gifts. So 50% off one item, a free romance kit and free shipping. If you enter offer code Emily, EMILY, at checkout at Adam and Eve.com. So I think that, I think that, if I am gonna get a present for Valentine's Day from somebody, I would like something sexy and Eve.com. So I think that I think that if I am going to get a present for Valentine's Day from somebody, I would like something sexy and romantic. I don't need like a new

quesanart or something. Do people still use those? What's a quesanart? My mom used to use it. They're like for the kitchen. Like I remember one time one year my friend got like a blender and she was really bummed out that our husband got our blender. Why would she get a blender? I don't know because she wanted one but it just wasn't sexy. So I think that every day should be, my whole thing is that every day should be a romance. Like you should try to make every day Valentine's Day. So if we have one day of the year,

that is just about sex and romance, like played up. If you're with somebody, get them a sex toy. Get them a, get them lingerie. It sounds cheesy, but this is the time to do it. Because I get hundreds of emails from everyone saying that their sex life is stagnant or you're not having sex anymore if you've been together with someone while make that night sexy do something different You know, a toy watch a porn together try new sex move rent a hotel room for the night do something fun for Valentine's Day Stay at the W. Stay at the W. My favorite you love the W. Yeah, I

W. Stay the W. My favorite. You love the W. Yeah. I think the best one I did when I was dating a girl long-term, I took her to New York for Valentine's Day. That's really nice. Awesome. I've never had a spush. I can't, I don't have any memorable grant in my memories, not that great as you know, but I don't think I've had a Valentine's Day that really sticks out except for when I was in third grade and they were giving out Valentine's. I remember this one guy Chris everyone you had to remember you had to give everyone in class those little like valentines Did you do that in the criminal box? He gave me a dollar valentine? I remember it said it was a dollar on the back It was huge and then he stuck a dollar bill or two dollar bills in it And I was like I was like a third grade and I was like all right Chris

Game with two bucks. I'll never forget that and I was like, all right, Chris, gave me two bucks. I'll never forget that. And I'm sorry to say that I don't have any great Valentine's Day stories since then, that I remember. Not that I've had bad Valentine's Day. I just don't remember anyone being like, swooping me off my feet and making this amazing day.

But I think it should happen, and that, you know, just do one thing, one thing. Don't make it a whole thing. And I don't think that people are like, oh, candy's flowers, it's cheesy. That's why it be what she wants. You have to get them flowers. You think?

Well, you get them for free. You have to get me flowers. I love flowers. Can your mom get me flowers? My mom's out of state now. I can't get them for free. You don't talk to her enough. I do.

I talked to her today. Do you get your mom a Valentine's Day present? No. Card? No. No. When you were little did Valentine's Day present? No card. No, no When you were little did you I did when I was little Yeah, I believe when I was little because you had time to make them in school and stuff like that. Yeah, that's true Yeah, so this year do you a valentine? I don't but I for some reason this year the Grammys is on Valentine's Day Oh, I'll be at the Grammys. Oh, okay, so

Maybe you'll meet someone there. I'll be at the Grammys. Oh, okay. So, maybe I'll take a day. Maybe you'll meet someone there. Maybe I'll take a day. I know a lot of girls in Los Angeles. What ever happened to the chick that you asked how to do you guys ever reschedge? Yeah, remember, I told you, you don't remember anything. You reschedule and you went up. Is that one and Oee hung out and watched a hockey game?

Do I have a problem? Yes, you do have a problem. I'm like early Alzheimer's or something. You don't care about my love life. You're a problem. No, I do care, but you know what happens? What? Being on the show, doing this is like a vacuum bubble.

And I think that things that happen in here, unless I listen to the show after, which I do sometimes, I don't always remember. How come I can remember? Because I have problems. Because I've got serious issues. Yeah. And I'm here and I'm fully present and then I leave

and then I shut it off and I'm sorry. And I just, I don't know. You forget all about me. But you know Valentine's Day, you shouldn't feel bummed either because I feel like Valentine's Day is a day if you're not with someone on Valentine's Day. We got a lot of single people listening to the show that you should do something that you for yourself. So here's something I'm going to propose. Buy yourself something sexy and romantic that makes you feel good. Masterbait, go home, take a bath. Sex was someone you love good masturbate go home take a bath sex with someone you love masturbation

It should be about love and I've got some tips here, you know for people I'm not I'm tell you already know all the things that I think you should do for Valentine's day because I talk about them all the time about Spicing up your relationship doing one thing different in the bedroom one move that's different just give her a little more for play Please I can't tell you, you know, like if you're not so into for play, like do something just different, make prolong the experience undress her slowly, do something like that. However, there are some benefits to being single on Valentine's Day and I've got a list here. Okay.

There's some benefits for being single. Save your money. Save your money. I mean, because Valentine's Day is so hype. So if you're single, I say do something for yourself. Buy yourself a vibrator. Buy yourself. Take yourself to dinner. See a friend. Go to movie. Well, that's what I was going to suggest is every time I didn't have a Valentine, I was just hanging out with all my other friends that didn't have Valentine's and then we're cool. But let's say you move somewhere and you don't know anybody. Go out, don't stay home. It's a great night to go out.

It actually all the single people are out on Valentine's Day. Because, yeah. Because they're not in date. So the people are in a date so I want to sit home. So everyone goes out. And in fact, I had two people email me, two listeners email me and say they met somebody on Valentine's Day.

So that's what you should do. You know how many girls out there are just going to slud it up from the night just because, you know, because it's Valentine's Day Last year I was emcee to last year. I emcee this lingerie fashion show. Do you remember that? No, you don't remember anything last year I wasn't around last year with you were Valentine dude we've been around with each other for years. I know You didn't get me anything. I

Course. Well, why would I get you some? I don't know. Could you love me? Yeah, true, but I don't know why I want to get me anything. I course. Why would I get you something? I don't know. Could you love me? Yeah, true. But I don't know why I want to get you anything for Valentine's Day. I know. It's fine. It's fine. Okay. So here's some benefits to being single.

Just in case you're single. The first one, I think, is obvious. And I love this because I prefer to be with no one on the holidays or Valentine's Day. There is no pressure. No pressure. When you're part of an awesome Valentine's Day, you got to make a bold, romantic declaration of your feelings where there are expectations. There's a risk of reality falling short.

What if you buy the wrong color flowers? What if he hates the meal you cooked? It's a day that's supposed to be full of dreamy quality time can turn into something stressful. So you got no pressure. If Valentine's Day just go out that night, do something for yourself. It's like, even on like the holidays, like when I, or my birthday, I try to about myself something.

Like I feel like you should celebrate yourself. Because no one else is going to. So it's okay. I think it's always better to be single, like make it about loving yourself. Yeah. Well, also I don't want to date anybody that expects a lot on Valentine's Day. I rather people that like it low-key, even though I am going to do something, and whatever I do will probably be awesome,

but I don't want them to expect something because that does add the pressure that you're gonna let them down. Exactly. Stuff like that. There are a lot, like I even heard this woman today, she's been married for years and she's like, well, as long as he gets me a card, I'm happy,

but he better get me a card. And I'm not even like that. I guess if I was with somebody, I don't think I've been with anybody on Valentine's Day for several years. For some reason, I mean, not that I haven't had relationships, but they've always been like before or after Valentine's Day been on during, but even when I am in a relationship, I don't think that I expect anything. I don't usually have expectations of men in relationships at all, which is probably a problem. I really don't and I would be happy

I guess I'd be like oh, that's a little weird Valentine's day pass and you didn't get me anything But I don't think I'd be bummed and I don't have expectations of anything grand Although I did have this guy that I've been dating for a month ask me to be as Valentine That's cool because it's the timing. So do I have to do something for him? It's been a month Something little bit like what I don't know nothing crazy. It's only a month. Okay. I'm gonna do I actually know what I'm gonna do It's timing. It's gonna be something sexual. I screwed up and I got with some chick like a week before Valentine's What'd you do? I didn't really do anything and what sucks is she did all this stuff for me. She did Yeah, you dump her after because it was too much. No, no, no, we did it for like two years. Oh, you did?

Yeah, but I felt so bad because you did all this stuff and I did like nothing. What she do? She got me like, like what? Man, it was so long ago. I was in high school. I can't remember. Oh, I said high school. Your high school relationship? My high school relationship Well, it lasted outside of high school. Right. Okay. I think that I'm trying to think the best that I can't even think. I just think whatever just do something, but just do a car. I think a car is fine. Think about what they like. Think about something sexy. But this guy that I'm with, this guy that I'm dating, he likes lingerie. So I thought, you're gonna get him some nice lingerie. No, but do you think he, but like me and lingerie, but do you know what the thing is?

I don't have any really. I do think that I would, so I should go buy some. Maybe that would be my present to him is me and lingerie. That's a good present. Yeah, I guess. If he's into it, okay, here's the other thing about benefits to being sing on Valentine's Day. I'm just thinking out loud.

I'm thinking out loud. I'm gonna get myself something sexy. Yeah, then I mean I am laundry But I'm gonna stick of it. It's old. I need to do the laundry. I'm still about yourself. I don't think it's a cool Yeah, but I I'm gonna look hot Yeah, see that's a problem Chicks just think that's enough. It is for some men. That's all he needs Okay benefits being single Valentine's Day. Few expenses. All of those expected gestures cost money. If you're on your own for cupid's big day, you can bank on some saving serious cash.

True singletons, my child, if dope for some movies or a few cocktails, but that's far less expensive than say necklace or a fancy dinner. So few expenses, just like Christmas from out of boyfriend, same thing. I love that. Because look, you got to buy flowers and roses, Jesus Christ, they're like $60 around Valentine's Day. Are they really? Yeah, 60 bucks and then you got to take them to dinner.

Right, I do not want to go to a nice dinner on Valentine's Day. I don't want to be a restaurant with all the couples posing like, oh, we're out to a nice dinner because that's what we're supposed to do. So I'd rather stay home and have like a sexy evening. Like, if I'm really into somebody, I want to have an evening where like I come in and like my dream, I don't know what to say. Okay, so I walk in and I listen to him in his house and he makes me dinner.

Because that's romantic. I'd rather have a guy make me dinner. Okay. I don't even I'm meeting him in his house and he's totally like, maybe he makes me dinner. Cause that's romantic. I'd rather have a guy make me dinner. Or I don't even care if he cares in. He can carry in from whole foods or something. What kind of dinner? Maybe some chicken. Chicken. Okay.

All right. I like chicken, nothing around with chicken. He has a dinner, he has some wine, some champagne, maybe. Doesn't have to be champagne, wine. And he made a dinner and there's candles. I love candles setting the mood. I'm such a chick. And you made a dinner and there's candles. I love candles setting the mood. I'm such a chick. And then you make dinner and it's hot.

And then we have dinner together. And we have in serious and depth talks about things that are really just kidding. And now that's where you lost me. I want to talk about the state of our relationship. Oh, no kidding. And then I'm wearing something sexy. And then we have sex

That's amazing sex meaning there's lots of foreplay which we're talking about our next show Some foreplay tips because I think you could never have enough and I think it would be just like this long drawn out sexual like I think there'd be some teasing involved Yes, you know what I mean by that. Yes, like I think you don't some teasing involved. Yes. Do you know what I mean by that? Yes. Like I think you don't rip off my clothes right away. Like if I'm wearing something sexy, like appreciate it and like we'll fool around, we'll kiss, we'll make out, touch me, and then slowly take off my clothes and then appreciate

me. Yeah. And then we can have sex. That's cool. And maybe it can be sick. Is that lame? Yeah, okay. You just got to promise me in one part. What?

Since we had that conversation beforehand, after we have sex, we don't have to have another conversation. No, no talking, no talking, no serious kind. I'm co-only kidding about the conversation. I am not the chick who ever brings up the relationship talk. But a lot of people do. But I'm just not the one who's like, like, can we define this relationship right now?

What it means? I'm not that girl. I never am that girl. If you have to ask that question with me, can we define this relationship right now? What it means? I'm not that girl. I never am that girl. If you have to ask that question with me, then we're not in relation to it. Right. If you have to say, what's the state of our relationship? You don't. Clearly, there's no state. They're, yeah, there is not exactly. Okay. Another benefit to being single less faked enthusiasm.

The truth is, some people just aren't that jazzed about candy hearts with sayings on them are pink and red decorations. If done wrong those colors can totally clash. Yet if you have a significant other you have to know choice but to pace on a smile turn the sweet sweet nothings up a notch and act like you totally think the heart shape lays doilys on the table are adorable and you're much easier to be honest. So there you go. You have to. You don't like candy? Less fake, you don't have to fake it. And be like, oh, it's Valentine's Day.

I mean, there's a certain forces. It's like new years. It's like new years eve. Oh, we gotta go out. We gotta spend a lot of money and everything's more expensive. That's why I say you can have your, and make it at home Valentine's Day. That's just as romantic and sexy.

Right? No, I totally agree with that. Maybe I'd watch porn with this, and my fantasy Valentine's Day date. Maybe we'd watch some good porn together. Yeah, some 3D porn. Yeah. Do you ever watch porn with chicks? No.

You don't like porn. No. I think you do, but you don't tell me. No, I don't. I swear. So how do you masturbate? How do I masturbate? What do you think about?

Do not, are you reading literature? No, I don't do that. Are you flipping through pen house? No, I don't. you think about like do not are you reading are you reading literature are you? I don't do that you flipping through So when you master when you master bait is it all in your Visualizing are you visualizing about a recent experience? Okay recent experience or just an experience Dispast experiences past experiences, so not not not unknown not like that hot chick. I saw walking down the street Yeah, I'm not like Master baiting to like Olivia Mun or anything like no. Oh my god

It's so funny that you say that because we got tons of emails about Olivia Muns since you mentioned her Dude Jesus so hot But you're not you're not going to the celebrity right me neither me neither It's more about like a past thing that happened. Yes, okay. That's fair. All right. You have more free time. If you're alone at Valentine's Day, the aforementioned gifts and activities that make for wonderfully romantic Valentine's Day require planning. A lot of it. If you wait too long, the restaurant won't have any tables available. The flowers will cost three times as much. Making Valentine's

Day happen means strategizing ahead of time. All the solo people out there are relaxing carefree. That is so true So true carefree relaxing not having to worry about the stress of planning Valentine's day. Yes But if you are planning it Like I said try to do something it doesn't I think that people get stressed out like oh my god But like I wonder if this guy that I'm dating He's since he asked me to be his Valentine's Day via text a few days ago. He's like, well, you have Valentine and I said, sure. Do you think he's planned like is he thinking he's stressed?

Like I hope he's not stressed about it because I don't really care. I just think something romantic that night. Yeah, it just means he's confirming that you guys will be hanging out on February 13th. 14th. That was 14th? Okay. Oh yeah, okay everyone, sorry, sorry to clarify that. Valentine's Day, February 14th.

Oh really? Yeah, you didn't know that. I always forget. Okay then, so I will be in town Valentine's Day crap. Yeah, when you were staying the Grammys, the Grammys are on Sunday and Valentine's Day is Monday. Dammit. But you don't have a girl, do you?

No. But some of you hit me up. Somebody hit you up. Okay, and number five, more butterflies. Valentine's Day is a great day to meet someone. This is the point we made earlier. After a few saint Valentinis, you might find yourself making out with the howdy who caught your eye across the bar.

Well, you get a night of butterflies and when you banter that comes with meeting someone new, steady couples are going through the motions of getting it on. That's not true. If you're a steady couple, you don't have to go through the motions, you can self-grids, but anyway, after all that effort they put into the night needs to pay off somehow, it's comfortable, we're not steamy, it's fine, but it's not expected. Therefore,

things are much more exciting on your own. Don't you almost feel bad for your off the market pales? There is true, there is some truth to that that when you're in a committed relationship. And my friend who's been with her husband for eight years, she called me the other day and she said, she went to Mexico with a group of girlfriends. And she said, you know what I realized, Emily?

I realized that I'll never, and there was like some cute guys she met, nothing happened obviously, but she was like, I realize that I'll never have those butterflies again, that that is something that I mean, she loves her husband and they're happy, but you don't get butterflies anymore. And that newness of meeting someone new and exciting at the bar or wherever party

That is fun. That's addictive the newness excitement. Don't you love it meeting someone new in the butterfly? Should we kiss the first make out? She's never gonna have a first make out again Oh, she misses it. I mean, I yeah, I get it, but When you remember me, I'm old school. I, when I commit to somebody that's gonna be the person I'm gonna be happy with. Yeah, but you miss the butterflies. So just go out and have butterflies. I think everyone, if you're single, you should go on rail and say,

buy yourself something. You're probably talking about recreating butterflies, don't we? Yes, we do. Oh, honey, even listening. Yes, see. You can recreate the butterflies, but it's not the same as someone knew. But you can.

And a lot of times to recreate the butterflies, you have to go back in your mind and do pull memories and really visualize how you used to feel or get out of your normal routine, rent a hotel room. Just go to the W. Do you know what's funny? There's some commercial on now. Kind of talking about the first thing,

I think it's a gum commercial where it says that in average lifetime, people will have 28 first kisses. First kisses. Sorry, I'm so tired. I'm really mad as moved today. 28 first kisses. Yeah. That's it.

I've had so many, I've had 28 first kisses last year. Yeah. That's the same. The average person. Maybe like people that don't get out in like Montana last year. That's insane. The average person. Maybe like people that don't get out in like Montana or something. Right, exactly. Not the same thing.

That I'm talking Montana. I visit Mizzula Montana many times. Right. Unfortunately. Okay, here's another, okay, so I think that that's our Valentine's Day show. Yeah. Okay, but I got one more.

Yeah, we had to make it short, but we got another show coming up. But first I got to give a shout out to not media. This is another, okay, this is a great Valentine's Day for men. Our women, you can buy them something to clean up their iTunes. Okay, so the thing about tune up, it's a number one selling plug-in for iTunes and Windows media player. It fixes your mislabeled music, like those annoying track zero ones and unknown artists and bands spelled five different ways.

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And then you get 20% off tune up gold where it really goes in and cleans everything up. If you put in sex with Emily at checkout, so get 20% of Tune Up Gold with your promo code SexWithEmily and it's a great offer. People freak out about Tune Up because I know my iTunes are a disaster and told the Cleaned them up. So I'm very excited about that. Yeah, I had a lot of people hit me up on Facebook wanting more information. On Tune Up. Yeah. Go to tuneupmedia.com or tuneup.com.

What is it? Toonupmedia. Toonupmedia.com. Yes. Whatever you'll find it. It's internet. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show. Email me.

Feedback at Sex with Emily was it good for you or was it good for you? Well, I've done that like a thousand times. You really just screwed it up right now. Email me. What do I say? Was it good for you? Email me.my, feedback at sexwithemily.com. This episode of Sex with Emily is brought to you by Screaming O. Make sex even more fun with the Screaming O collection

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