Sex With Emily - SWE: Single & Ready to Mingle?

Episode Date: October 30, 2013

How to navigate your sex life as a single person, because single people want to have sex too…sometimes more than people in relationships.  I'll also tell you how to find the right person whether you are looking for casual sex or a committed relationship. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hi, I'm Dr. Emily Morse from SexWithEmily.com. Do you want to last longer in bed? Promessant is the only FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation. One of three men suffer from premature ejaculation, but they don't have to. Go to promessant.com to give the desensitizing spray that will allow you to have the sex you deserve. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them a lie on me.

Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. It's a lie. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge?

What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can easily listen to all of our podcasts or you can subscribe on iTunes or you can listen through the Stitcher app. It's a free app for your smartphone. You can listen to our podcast through there. And we've got so many podcasts. And thanks everyone for our new listeners and our old listeners. I just love hearing from all of you at feedback at sexwithemily.com. I try to answer all your questions and I'm hopefully you are learning a lot. I'm sure you're learning a lot to this show even if I don't get your question right away

There's probably someone else asking a similar question. So we're always trying to help you here at text family I am here with menace. It's the menace and Emily show here today because menace is in Los Angeles I am in Los Angeles. I'm taking in all the sun Enjoying it. I was telling you before we started the recording the only thing about Los Angeles I think they stopped making buildings after 1970 It's crazy because if you want to talk about throwback everything Looks super throwback right the architecture where I'm from in San Francisco Yeah, the architecture in San Francisco is amazing and And it's always new and they're rebuilding.

Here, it just like seemed like they just stopped. I know, they did just stop. Yeah. It's not a beautiful city. Yeah, no, it's not. And the traffic is horrible. It makes me crazy. And it makes me crazy.

I know it is. But Santa Monica is beautiful. Venice Beach is beautiful. I was there last week hanging out doing some stuff. Well, you know, what? Where are what part of LA are you don't want to say, but are you are you enjoying Los Angeles as a whole? You know, it's funny.

These as I've been here, believe it or not, almost the year now. What are you serious? It seems like it hasn't been that long. Yeah, it'll be, you know, I went back to San Francisco for a little bit, but really, I have to say that it's been amazing for work, for business, and for growing, for sex with Emily Brande, I get to do more shows and I host Love Line on Thursday nights with Dr. Drew,

and more television appearances, and my manager, my agent, whatever, there's just more entertainers. There's a lot more opportunities. However, I just, it doesn't quite feel like home yet, and when I land at LAX, it makes me want to cry because San Francisco you landed SFO and it is the most beautiful landing. You're like landing over the ocean and it actually looks like you're about to go and it's just to home and I was there for a long time.

So, but I do I'm making new friends and I kind of like having, you know, I always love new, I love shaking things up So I hadn't shaken up my living situation in a while so I like it and of course the traffic is hell like it's just and you don't you really don't see people who are like more than You know in hour, you know, even if they're whatever it is Venice people don't see people in Hollywood It's just it's you have to plan everything ahead Yeah, it's a very you have to plan everything ahead. Yeah, it's a very...

It takes hours to get anywhere. Yeah. And I've cried. Yeah, it's not like... I've cried in traffic. Anywhere else in the country where... Right, people joke about it, it's really bad. Yeah, where you're, you know, you can date somebody

across town or problem, you know? There's a long distance here. If they're like more than four miles away from you, it's a long, it's a relationship, you won you won't even date them and it's just it's just crazy but I do and sorry no you go and to go back to it the guys here are just creeps because they tell me what you think because I think that's so interesting because I can't tell you that everybody I mean literally the the the little Russian woman who does most shortens on my clothes because I'm

short on all my pants my jeans I, I take all my tailors, my alterations woman. She's amazing. She's like, she's like, the men here. I totally do, she's like, the horrible. They're the, they're the, literally like, not only her, but like every single person I meet, of course, all my friends, all the new friends are like, oh, what do you think about dating here?

And this woman's like warning me, like, what do you think about the men here? Because I'll tell you what they're saying, but what, what do you, what do you take? Well, I have a couple of examples, and I brought this up on the show before. Number one, I have a really good friend from high school who moved here,

and she lives in Hollywood, and she tells me it's very hard to date guys here, because the guys here are not doing what they wanna do for living. So they're always trying, it's with their free time, they're trying to be an actor, or they're trying to work on a movie, or they're trying to do music, they're trying to do something other than what they're doing. So their free time is taken up by that, and that's their focus other than their focus

on being on you. And you love guys that are focused on you. So it's a nightmare here for you and Los Angeles. And like, why aren't you becoming obsessed? And then, or there's like, again, like, you gotta think about, you know, just people that you're around, you gotta think about the ones that moved to Los Angeles. They're kind of weird and off the wall, like yourself, Emily. You can't even move it. You know?

So just imagine. You're right, everyone is a little naughty here. 10 million Emily's in one location and it's gonna drive you insane. There's not everyone like you all different. All of our own little shade of crazy. So there's that. And also, I got to my hotel today.

And in the lobby, there was a sign, it says, men's warehouse auditions. And it was a bunch of male models that are in there, and they're all like really super douchey. Douchey how? Just like you can tell, there's like, oh, you know, they're like, oh really confident. And, you know.

Handsome though? I guess they're a, oh really confident in, you know, handsome. No. I guess they're a good looking guys. You know, that's where I was. Mail models, you know what I'm saying? So, but you gotta think more other than how they look, their personality, and their personality came off a little bit douchy. Because they're measuring suits and they're all dressed up like models to go into an audition. But whatever you're right, you guys make a machine and it is true like your waiter is an actor, you know, right? So there was this internet phenomenon a couple of weeks ago. And my, the first post that I saw about it was

from one of my friends in Los Angeles, from Los Angeles, and she stated, this pretty much sums up my dating life in LA. And the internet phenomenon was, I don't know if you heard about this, it's called Starbucks Hands. No. Have you heard about it? Of course not. So the story is that this girl met this guy at Starbucks

and after meeting him, like this guy thinks he's like a male model or something. After meeting him, he sends her a video of himself just staring into the camera and he brushes his eyes over his head with his hands and is just looking into the camera. Like I'm so beautiful. Yeah, just like just gazing into the camera

while he plays Drake music in the background. So Drake's an artist by the way. Right, I know Drake. And are you telling everyone else? Yeah, well, people that don't know. So it's just like this super douchey male model one of these guys. Like, so he's that narcissist.

Yeah, and then he thought that he would woo this girl over by sending this video of himself gazing into the camera. And my LA friends who are women were like, yeah, that's just pretty much how the guys are Just so here send it to some chick and she just you win viral it won viral because she sent the video to like somebody that she knew and then I got posted online and that's a main and people have just made it on YouTube. It's called Starbucks hands. Yeah, I mean it pretty much took off on on Instagram Okay, but yeah, just look up Starbucks hair. And it's true.

Everyone's good looking here too. They say like the best looking people from every high school in America on movie. That's what they say to an L.I. Like the top, everyone's like, oh, you, you know, you're so hot and you should be an actress. And they all live here with a lot of you. And we don't hear about a lot of people

don't make it in L.I. Oh, 90% of them. Most people don't make it. So right, so then they're your waiters that you're whatever, they're everything. Nothing's wrong with, I was a waitress for a long time. Just saying that's, but everyone here is trying. It's true.

You're right. No one is just an actor, just a waiter. And I forget that, like, because my best friends from college is here, and we always go out, well, back up for a second. I'll, let me tell you that story about sleeping with bartenders in a minute. First, let me tell you, you're listening to Sacrificent

Emily, and this is what I show is about today. Today, we are giving advice for singles. Okay? A lot of the stuff I'm going to tell you today, you can also use if you're in a relationship for sure, but I mean people want to know how to meet someone, what should be the rules around sex. So even if you're single, but dating, this is going to be helpful for you too. And we're going to be some sex tips.

We're also going to read your emails that you sent to feedback at sexwithemily.com. You can also always follow me on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram. Sex with Emily. I would appreciate that. Okay. So anyway, I have this friend here. So I'm single. So it's funny that we're talking about this because I'm actually single and dating and

Los Angeles. And she's always friends with all these bartenders. I mean, she's married, but she's very friendly with all the bartenders and all the places. I'm like, you should go with him and you should go with him. And I was like, what? And then she's like, with all the bartenders and all places. I'm like, you should go with him and you should go with him. And I was like, what? You know, and then she's like, no, they're not really bartenders. She loves this chick because you never know who the next time cruise is or the next world of her.

And I'm like, yeah, but right now he's like working till three in the morning and he comes home late. Like that to me. I don't know why the bartender lifestyle in my life right now. And she's like, it doesn't matter. I'm like, I'm not into that. But what I'm saying is every, it's true. That everyone's good looking.

The bartender's the way or whatever. And that's not what they want to be doing. So in a way, you're not even getting the best service because they're not like, you're around the wrong people. See, surround someone, you're on people. See, because the thing is like,

okay, what are you gonna do? Hold on, but what are you gonna do with that for the rest of your life? Oh, hey, let's say this guy became Brad Pitt, right? But let's say you met him like 20 years ago and he was a bartender and you slept with him. So that's what you get for the rest of your life that you get to say, oh well, I slept with Brad Pitt. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, fix me up with and I Wasn't attracted to him, but she was like no you don't and then she explained that mentality

She was it's so funny because I'm friends with all these people and a lot of them She's lived her a long time like you know, they do other things they really are working on the career So that was my point but but you're right that many here are just obsessed with what they're doing and they can't be a Pass view and they also say that you know, but this about men and women that they're always looking for the bb D the bigger better better deal. And that people also, what else they say? Especially the women are gold diggers. Yeah, well, of course. But the thing that I was going to say also, let's say, okay, yeah, okay, let's say this guy is on his way of being the next Brad Pitt and then he

He starts getting successful and stuff like that who says that he's even gonna stick around with you As a first Oscar I'll see you later. I'm gonna go with Angelina Jolie So So that's the day And then you said that your friends your female what about your guy friends here my guy friends here? Angelina Jolie. Peace out. Exactly. So, you're right. That's the dating life. And then you said that your friends, your female, what about your guy friends here? My guy friends here? What do they say about the women? They're like easy.

Easy? The girls live with them right away. Yeah, LA, I think LA chicks are easy. Interesting. Pretty much. But, you know, what's cool about them is, yeah, a lot of beautiful women move here to Los Angeles, so they're very well kept. You know, you're not going to see them bumming around. Like San Francisco in San Francisco.

Yeah, sweatpants and uggs and stuff like that. If you're going to see a girl at a gas station, it's going to be a fashion show out here. Right. They're going to be looking good all the time. True that. So, I mean, that is, that is a benefit. Yes, that is a benefit for being in Los Angeles. But you know, except for everyone's hot

and then you're not that hot. But also, just like, you know, I don't know how I feel about. I've never really had too much of a relationship with a woman from LA But I just don't seem as the ones that are born and raised here don't seem as real and as dedicated as Even the ones that are born and raised here, and they don't okay as other women that I find in other parts of the country Like the Midwestern just like me that you love. I mean, you don't love me

But you like like the Chicago. It's true. I mean, yeah, there is definitely a more liberal lifestyle here happening in Los Angeles. And I don't know many people from here. Everyone here in Los Angeles too, I don't know any ones are married for like 100 years anymore. Like you look at Chris Jenner and, what's his name? Brody Jenner, that's her stepson. But look at the Jenner family.

I know, I just feel about the Jenner family. You're so into the Kardashians. How do you feel about that divorce? Everyone saw that coming. So it wasn't really a huge surprise. Bruce Jenner, sorry. Bruce Jenner and Chris Jenner, because. What does it say?

Why are they getting divorced? Does it say why? Because Bruce Jenner doesn't want to be in the limelight. He just wants to go play golf and You know, he's like enough with the cameras. Yeah, he's over it and Chris Jenner is Obsessed and this is not a bad thing, you know, she wants to She wants to be famous and she wants her whole family to be successful You know, I'm not gonna talk bad about Chris Jenner because I love her and I want her to be by manager one day You know, I'm not gonna talk about about Christian or because I love her and I want her to be my manager one day

You know, and that's that's what she's focused on and he doesn't want to be a part of that so now, you know It's just like you got it. I used to think about like oh, yeah, you know what? She's just a gold digger and she's a fame horn and all this stuff But you know what you got to look at things both sides If people want different things then then, you know what? And 20-someone years they were together, right? 22. So let's do it, Ron. I mean, I don't know.

I just don't think that like, it's, I mean, they're together. They're feeling, it's really sad for the kids. I feel bad for all of them, but, you know, they try. They were together a long time. Yeah. And they just, they just have different goals right now. And, you know, it's not working out. So I see, look, I'm getting older.

I'm not older I'm not calling people bad names stuff like that. I was so matured before my eyes. Yeah that's amazing. But yeah so that's that but you know what I did put a tweet out there that I believe that Chris Jenner because she really wants to be famous just as famous as her daughters. I believe that she will change her name to Kardashian. No. You think? Hell yeah, I think she will. She doesn't need, at this point,

maybe she doesn't need to. She doesn't need to. She doesn't need to. She doesn't need to have what she needs. She won't do it. Huh? Her daughters have the gender name. She wouldn't do that. I think she will, I think she will come out and say. She's too old. You don't change your name. It's like a really bad divorce, but they've got kids together. She's like, yeah, it's not, the claim is not gonna be a bad divorce at all. They're really good friends still.

It's just, you know, again, focusing on different things. So funny. But I think that Christianer is gonna change your name to Kardashian. And I think she's gonna claim, this is how she's gonna do it. I think that she's gonna claim that this is how she's gonna do it. I think that she's gonna claim that-

I love the pointy drumsticks. Robert Kardashian was the true love of her life and she's gonna wanna take his last thing back. Oh, I don't think she would do that to Bruce Deter and the daughters. She's got daughters with him. She don't care. It doesn't matter. What does that really matter?

Yeah, I would hurt the girls. Well, what about if she got remarried? Yeah, but no, no. Is it your father's not my true love? No, would hurt the girls. What about if she got remarried? Yeah, but no, no, no, no. Is it your father is not my true love? No, she wouldn't care. What about if she got remarried again? I'll be so happy here. So what she can get married again, but don't change her name.

And then what happened? I think it's the 22 years of her age. But this is her third last name. Yeah, I don't think so. But I don't think she's. I mean, I don't know. You don't think it's interesting? I just feel like let's just see what happens. So now Chloe in the bar

Yeah, Chloe in the mar. Okay, so I was claiming that That Lamar is on crack right. I heard someone you just saw him on crack down the street. No, I swear to God He is in Venice. I have a friend who is right on the corner and says that they were at the liquor store And they were all like cracked out. He and it looked like his father. They found. Yeah. Did you hear the story? I've seen stuff on.

Oh, yeah. And it was right by his, he saw it. The whole thing. What? Yeah. Totally. He lives right there in Venice. And they were like cracked out like sitting around the corner from the liquor stores.

It's like on crack. No. Well, it's just, you're just, people are just like thinking and seeing what they're doing. Because they made it up as a friend of mine. Yeah, but how do they know exactly that they're on crack They just hear and see everything in the media and then they're like, oh, I saw him. He's all crap out In the alleyway or something Sure, that's what he was doing when he's a friend's on but I think Yeah, but hold on a lot of people a millions of people millions of people care care so

It was like the number not anal sex. It was the number one Story for like a couple days. Let me just finish it wrap it up. So I'm gonna blow people's minds so There is there's all this stuff in the media saying oh That he's on track. He's on crack, he's on drugs and all the stuff and they're gonna get a divorce and all these things. But let me flip it on you real quick. Flip it baby, flip it. People are saying, oh, you don't just become a crack head overnight.

You know, you don't just start doing like this drug problem has been going on for a long time. Exactly. Now, they say the mastermind could be Chris Jenner to say, to put all this stuff out in the media, to say, oh yeah, he's on drugs, he's out of control. Now, because Chloe just wants to get out of the marriage. So now she gets out, Scott free, she just looks like,

she's a victim because this guy's all cracked out. Oh, he, I think she really loved him, Chloe. Yeah, no, I think she did too. But I think like, okay, like she just doesn't want to be a part of it anymore. So then maybe he was sober for like two years, they were together and you really didn't do drugs, then he's relapsed again. Wait, wait, within like the past month? Yeah, if you relapsed, you relaps hard.

I don't know. I think like some of the stuff is really... I would do you know who Neil Strauss is? You wrote a book called The Game. Sounds fun. Yeah, if you relapse you relapse hard. I don't know. I think like some stuff is big. I would you know Neil Strauss is. He wrote a book called the game. Yeah. He's got a show on Sirius XM. He's written a bunch of books. John Jameson, a bio, and you remember the game, the the book that came out in like 2006 about the pickup artist community. Yeah. Anyway, he's very smart. And I was on his radio show on Sirius XM. A few, we, it's not it hasn't even aired yet, but I was on it last week at his house in Malibu, which is gorgeous, by the way.

And I'm going to look up, he does this show, and there's like four people at the table. It's like a dinner party, and we're sitting with these mics, but it's like these head mics. You don't even have a big mic in you front of this. Anyway, one of the guys was in a band. I don't even know I never. He was in the Red Hat Chili Peppers. Dead Kennedys. And the Red Hat Chili Peppers for a while. DH don't even know I never. He was in the Red Hat Chili Peppers, dead Kennedys. And the Red Hat Chili Peppers for a while.

DH Pellegros. Okay. Pellegros, do you know him? Sounds odd. I know a lot of members have been. Okay, and then there was a reporter from Rolling Stone. And we just had this conversation, we were talking about everything.

So DH was saying he used to be a crack on crack. And for many years, and he was sober for like three years, and then he went to visit some friends like in New York or something, and then he relapsed after like two, three years and then now he sober again but it was like a little many relapsed but that's why in AA and sobriety they say one day to time because you never know if you're gonna so I think that you never know. He just you just started doing that.

Yeah I don't think that he's been doing I mean she might have known about his history but I don't think that he necessarily was like using ultimate. I don't know. Maybe he was using it and she didn't know, and now she found out. But I don't think I doubt it. I hope they can get through it. I just hope they can get through it too. I hope everyone can get through it.

Because they got so much heat, because they got married within a month of meeting each other. Yeah, that's amazing. They got so much heat for it. So I'd rather them caca on the critics and just like work through it If he has I mean what about if you're significant other yeah starts Going through a drug problem. You think you can work through that? I mean you never been married and I mean what's what's your longest relationship again?

Two and a half years So let's say you're in the middle. He was going to return a calculator. Okay. So yeah, okay, so what are you saying? So I can't talk about what I'm doing. No, no, I'm just saying that. No, I, let's say you're in a deep, deep relationship.

You think you can be able to work through that. I mean, if they, yeah, here's the thing about addiction. I can't ask my partner to change. If he's drinking too much or doing drugs. They have to realize they have a problem and why to have a change? So if they do, if I'm with someone and he's drug addict, I wouldn't dump him right away if he's willing to get help. But he's like, no, I want to be sober. But if he was like a drug addict all the time and he was like doing blow or whatever,

I would dump him. I wouldn't want to be with anyone who lived on healthy lifestyle. Not that I'm like anti-drug, but like if it was an addict. And the definition of an addict is how it impacts your life. So can you no longer go to work? Can you know another whole good job? Are you affecting your relationships? Can you, you know, you're losing all your money? Like whatever it is.

But if you're, you know, if you're a functioning drug user, that's still bad. But usually you use a downward spiral as what I'm saying. So, so I think I could never handle that. And they'd have to get help ASAP. It's not attractive. The thing is that what I've learned also it's just because when I was younger, being around drug addicts, you want to help them, you want to help them and you want to be around like deal with it. But now that I'm older, I'm so annoyed by drug addicts because they they again they like you said they just need to realize that they have a problem and they're the only ones are going to be able to fix it. So I just don't even have time for it anymore. I know right. I can't. You want to help them but it sucks because you know they could go down to a really deep dark circle and something back and really happen to them, but you could waste your life trying to help somebody that

doesn't even realize that they have a problem. Exactly. It's so true. You have to pay attention to those red flags. You can't go into a relationship thing that you're going to change someone because people never change. And if they do change, I'm not saying never, but they're not going to change because you want them to.

You get in a relationship. You're like, oh, this will all stop once we get married. Guess what? It's not. unless they want to change their behavior Is it gonna change or that's something really important to remember about relationships in general that if you a lot of you will do this They get they commit to someone like oh eventually he'll stop going out of those guy friends Oh, he won't watch sports that time. He'll lose the weight. Oh, no Did he ever tell you that he was gonna stop hanging out with friends like people make assumptions that things are gonna happen and people are gonna change But only if they say they're going to remember that right minus.

Okay, so advice for singles. So I had an interesting experience with my so first thing I have talked about this show is brought to you by my very own brand called Emily and Tony. Emily and Tony.com if you've been listening to the show and you love me and you support me and I've been doing it for eight years and I'm not charging you a dime to listen to this and hopefully your love that is getting better. I made killer products that you should buy even. It wasn't my brand because we worked really hard

and my partner is Anthony Soznik from Anthony's Skincare line for men. You've met him. It's a top seller. It's a four-hour you can buy anywhere Anthony products for men. So we came together, me as a sex expert, him as a skincare expert,

and we created the most friggin' amazing products. One is down under comfort, you've heard me talk about it that a lot, it's a ball-ocean for men, men actually uses it and likes it, so you don't sweat, you smell fresh and dry all day long. I actually really enjoy it. I know, you take part of your everyday repertoire because men use talcum powder and things like that,

that doesn't really work, and it's carcinogenic and it's just like your fresh. Like if you wanna get a blowjob at four o'clock in the afternoon, you don't have to worry if your fresh or not. So also though, I have these massage oil candles. So I don't know if anyone, a lot of people don't know what they are,

but they're really a Roma therapy massage oils that warm like a candle. So they're not too hot, it's not waxy. And it melts into the most luxurious body oil that's really hydrating and leaves your skin smelling amazing. It's perfect for massaging yourself or your partner during foreplay, because you know I'm all about foreplay.

So I had to make something about foreplay. So I actually, with this guy when I date with, I had never used the candles. I had him give me this massage, but I also use it. It's like vanilla and coconut and fuzzer different sense My body is a moisturizer every day. So I it's vegan and amazing for you except for the bees wax So it's not totally vegan with all the product. It's so be loyal and coconut oil Anyway check out Emily and Tony.com and use my cucumber

Keep on code Emily and get a discount. So I think it's 20% off Let me ask you something. Where are you going going? I know you're like you're not seriously dating anybody right now. Where are you going to like do some online dating? I am so match.com. I put my profile on match. Oh, you did. Yeah. How do we find you? Uh, Jesus, I wasn't going to bring this up on the show. Oh, sorry. It's okay. Try match.com and use M. I don't even know where it is because I do it on love line. But let me just tell you, I, let me just tell you.

Okay, well, let me just tell you. You know how I know? So I'm dating online, yes. And I wrote a blog for match and I haven't actually, I went on one date, but really it was not a date. It was like a half of a coffee, because I knew that I wouldn't like this guy, but it's a, I don't want to get into this whole thing now,

but I've literally like 3000 men in my inbox for a match right now. Oh my God. And I can't, I'm going to have my assistant Kelsey, she's going to go through them all because it's overwhelming. It's too much. I've never dated mine in my life. And I think it's great.

I think it's amazing to date online. In a new city, I'm meeting so many people. I just have to narrow down the problem. Yeah, I mean, how do you filter all that? I remember I remember used to go off like years ago about your friend who got 30,000 wings. 300,000 wings or views. So I was like, you know, you can get that like in a day.

I'm getting it now. I understand. I used to see you have a hot photo. It just like don't, I mean, Emily now. I understand. I just get you have a hot photo. It just like don't I mean Emily you are special, but I'm talking about your friend here. Oh god. Don't think you're special because 300,000 guys looked at your photo. I don't know. I don't think no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, I don't You are special. I'm just talking about your friend. I'm just waiting. Okay. No, no, I'm getting my friend.

I get it. I used to be like, oh my god, she's like, my profile's been food 280,000 times. I get it. Guys are looking for photos and they're not reading. Oh, like hot. Yeah, they don't. They don't even read it.

They don't even look. They're like, is she hot? My ball is whatever. So that's what's cool is like, okay, you're, yeah, you're gonna filter it and find out people that actually read the profile and, you know and talk about comment interests. I just wanna see how that was going. But it's going well and everyone,

you should check out my blog at match. I did a blog there and if you need it, check something.com. Listen, if you are dating online though, I'd love to hear stories because I'm gonna do, be talking about this more in the future. I'm actually gonna be talking about my profile and more stuff that I'm doing.

I'm really gonna roll out my whole thing. But I wanna hear your stories too. Like how has it been for you? Have you met someone online dating? What service do you use? Would you find we're gonna have people on the show that are gonna give tips how to write the best profile, that we take the best picture, all that stuff.

So feedback at saxwithemely.com. That's cool. I'm Martha Stewart. Martha Stewart. Right now, I heard that. But like have you seen her profile and stuff? I haven't, I haven't looked at it. You think that he viral. But the, you know what's funny is like, man, I was like, oh, that'd be kind of cool. Like, king out with Martha, Martha Stewart talking about her life and maybe she'll make

me something like good food or something like that or some crafts. But Bethany, who is from the Real Housewives, New York, I believe, she has a talk show now, which is really good. And she had Martha Stewart on there. And Martha Stewart was like a seaworth to her a little bit. Really? And Bethany was saying how this is her idol and all this stuff.

And she was just like, she's saying, oh yeah, we're kind of similar because she's like, oh, how are we similar? Like kind of a little snarky to her. Oh! And she wasn't even gonna say anything to her. She's like, she just kind of let it go and like the show happened,

but she was like flooded with messages from people. She's like, oh, I wasn't even gonna bring this. Yeah, she's like, I wasn't even gonna bring this up, but yeah, it was kind of weird when she was on here because I really look up to her and it's like kind of, like when you meet your idol and it's just not the experience that you thought it was gonna be. Okay, she'd like tweeted that or something?

No, she said it on the show. Oh, oh, she did the whole thing. Yeah, and like, because everyone's like calling Martha Stewart a seaword. Would you think that she's just like that with everyone Martha's story? Yeah, I mean, here's like some crazy stories about Martha Stewart.

Like I saw like some TV movie about her where, like she slapped somebody or something like that. Okay. You hear that a lot? And there's something about Bethany being the hardest boss ever or something I gotta talk to show them. I'm sure, I think when I watch Bethany,

I'm like, are like, just seeing her reality show. I'm like, oh my god, this is like a carbon copy of Emily Morris. Like, because she had like little office thing and she's like just freaking out over nothing. I'm like, oh my God, this is just like, it's like, they looked at Emily Morris's life and wrote the script for this TV show.

Oh my God, do you know I'm gonna be on the Bethany talk show? And you know, I liked it. I actually watched it. I thought it was really good. It is. Probably like in the next month or so. I'll let you know, do you want to come to that? I want to go to the shows.

You always say, oh, I can go. And then you're like the next day. I know what you really do. I do places and you never invite me anywhere. But I would be back in. Oh, what am I going to invite you to? I don't know, you do everything. I do everything that you want to do.

You don't take me to Disney World. I go to Disney World, land. You go to Disneyland. I grew up with world in Florida. That's where I am. All right, would you go to Disneyland for real? Yeah, oh my god, today. Okay.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow in Vegas. I know what apps. I'm just glad you're here now. Okay, this show, we are going to give you some advice for being single and dating. Okay. Because you get into that crap right now, right?

It's good stuff. It's good stuff. I do it. We are actually, you're right. We're single and dating. Okay. You should get into that crap right now. Right? We are kind of doing that around. We actually are. You're right. We're talking about dating. When we start getting on a vibe and start talking about things, you freak out. We're like, oh, we really got to get to this topic. You do why?

And I love you're from my listeners. You people. Okay. I don't listen to a lot. I don't listen to a lot. You're right. We don't listen to a lot. I listen to you.

I'm like, you do. You take it apart. And I feel like you downloaded sex with Emily. So let me tell you I'm wrong. You listen to this podcast because you listen to I listen to you. You do you take it a heart and I feel like you downloaded sex with Emily So let me tell me I'm wrong you listen to this podcast because you want to improve your sex I'm not saying men's and I aren't talking about things that actually are personal experiences that I think we all learn from each other But I said at the top of the show I was gonna give you some advice and now it's you know we've been doing it's And I haven't given you advice throughout the way yeah, I'm just saying I have certain things I want to say to people and I don't want them to be like, well, I'm just gonna, but maybe you're having fun and I'm having fun. So that's what I think.

Okay, I mean, if you're just going to- That's forward the first 15 minutes if you don't like it. Yeah, if you don't like it, go ahead. But we don't always do the same. I haven't seen you and I love you and we have good talks. Okay, whatever. Advice for saying else.

So I think that people, this is the problem. This is, it's all a mindset. I'm not giving you, I'm gonna give you you some tips and tricks, but also people think, this is the problem. It's all a mindset. I'm not giving you any, I'm gonna give you some tips and tricks, but also people think, this is their mindset. If I was only in a relationship, it will solve all my problems. I've been with all that before,

once I get a relationship, then everything's gonna be okay. It's that same mentality that's like, once I get a car or once I get a new job, everything's better. And it's like, you have to be happy in the moment, be happy with where you're at, and know that all these things will come, and appreciate the moment, be happy with where you're at and know that all these things will come and appreciate the present moment

and appreciate where you're at. And be a happy person, work on that because then you're gonna find someone. You know, they say that desperation is an ugly clone. Have you heard that saying like that? People can tell if you're desperate. And so. There's a new word for that.

What? It's called thirsty. That's what it, that's a new hot term. Oh, she's thirsty. Like if you're desperate, there's a new word for that. What? It's called thirsty. That's what that's a new hot turn. Oh, she's thirsty. Like if you're desperate, it's like, all a man, so thirsty, he's like the thirstiest. Yeah, that's a great, that's great. Same thing.

So we know if they're desperate, just everyone chill and have a life. Like you have to create a full life and that's what's gonna make you so attractive. And stop being so, I know so many women that are just obsessed of trying to get into relationship. I know that they blow it every time How do they blow it? They're just like just too obsessed and then they they they They try to get too serious too fast and men these days

They're trying to fill you out if they want to you know I know there's the old term that's been around forever. It's like oh, why? You know By the cow or whatever You can get the milk for free, but I think that's just how it is these days guys are just filling filling you out They're not gonna die right in they want to know if they're compatible with you and they have a good time with you Yeah, of course there's There's probably a lot of percentage of dudes that are out there that are just douchey

They just want to sleep with you and then move on. I get that. But also the guys that want to be with you, it's just 2013 and they want to fill you out and see if like, can I be around this person all the time? If I had to be in a room with Emily for a week straight, oh my god, I would blow my brains out But not that I don't love you. It's just like it's it's exhausting It's exhausting because I know that you're excited to see me and you're to have so many things to tell me and it's just Yeah, I mean like I swear if I lived with you, I would probably go to bed at like six o'clock. I

just didn't even. I'm really tired. You like locked your block your door. I actually, I date men who happen to appreciate the fact that I'm having a time. Well that's great. I'm happy that you find those guys. Yeah, I do. I'm not with any of them right now. I hope they stick around forever. I don't talk that much at all. I'm not with any of them right now. I hope they stick around forever. I'm not talking all the, I'm just uncomfortable with you. If I go on a date, I'm not talking, oh, maybe I'm talking all the time. If you've been on a date with me, email me. Maybe some guys are just looking to watch like, okay, do I get to see what they're like? I'm gonna see through all this.

I'm gonna stuff. Hopefully, at least I get a BJ out of this. I'm gonna see, when is she ever gonna shut up and put my penis in her mouth? Hopefully at least I get a BJ out of this God yeah She ever gonna shut up and put my penis in her mouth. Yeah, I better be worth it. Listen. Oh my god I'm gonna commit suicide if I do not go home if I go home tonight It's like the consolation fries. I'm sorry to suffer the all my stories. It's not that bad. Just this most of time Okay, right whenever okay, so also What people don't realize is that when they get a relationship it creates home new time. Okay, right. Whatever. Okay.

So also, what people don't realize is that when they get a relationship, it creates a whole new set of problems, right? Or issues, tiny problems, but it's not like you're in a relationship and everything's better. Okay. How many times have you been in a relationship and everything's better? It's not. It's just, so you, and you also create high expectations for the person you're in a relationship

with. We talked about this earlier. Many people are convinced they will change their partner. We will rarely change or change gradually. And if they do change, they want to do it themselves. And they're not going to change for you. So of course, there are great benefits to relationship. You're regular sex, you're a person to watch the movies

with on a Saturday night. You have someone to, I don't know, with men. I like it when they like change the light bulbs and stuff like that. But that being said, if you want to navigate your sex life as a single person, because single people and dating people are dating one of sex too, probably more than people in relationships

and how to find a partner, this is what I'm going to tell you about today. So sex. These are some questions that I got asked for a National Magazine. And I answered, I was thinking that this would be just a great this would be some great advice for people about how to navigate through the single world. So if single, how can people avoid being hung up on the lack of sex, intimacy, and romance?

So what I think is being single is great because it gives you free time to work on yourself and pursue your interests. And so you have to keep your life full, Keep spending time with friends finding out what you love and Obsessing how being single and brooding about your unsatisfying love life will do nothing to change your situation So people don't realize is that you have the thing that that men and women are most attracted to another person is confidence So I'm just got their stuff going on. I've got a life. It's exciting. You have to really you can't fake that like love your life right now It's your single so no one wants to, no one wants to be with this hour of push. Exactly. Like Debbie Downer, like everything sucks.

Right, everything sucks. Oh my god. And you're going to drop everything once this guy comes along. No, we have a full rich life that you can't just change because you met someone else. So as far as casual sucks, or when you first meet someone, the more you know about your body, the better you'll be able to communicate with your next partner, and the sex will be so much better because of the time you invest it in your body. One of the top questions I get asked from my listeners and women especially is how do

I mostly women? I can't have an orgasm during an occurs. What's wrong with me? Am I normal? And I'm here to tell you that only 30% of women actually do have orgasms during an occurs. And of those, it's not every time. And it's complicated. I mean, some people can like whatever, or the second the penis goes in, and I hate those women. But it's not easy. So you have to communicate and learn your body and be able to explain it. Now, you also might need a vibrator. A lot of women need two sex toys. Like they

actually can't orgasm without some more collateral stimulation. A man's body just can't provide it always. So I will always say, I mean right now, they're like waterproof, they're little, they're quiet, they're discrete. Go to goodvibes.com, use coupon code Emily and you get 15% off. My favorite, as you all know, is the Jezou Mimi.

And of course, the Mimi, just look at Mimi, M-I-M-I, the Fifi, I love, and of course, the original Magic Wand, you'll have an orgasm very quickly. So for men checking out their roast bankin, they can try the flashlight, which is the most popular male sex toy, and it stimulates the feeling of a vagina, the flashlight. Yeah.

Check that out at good vibes. If you get a vibrator, so know your sex life. And when you're with someone new, it's never too early in a relationship to talk about what you want in bed. I understand the first time, maybe people are like, I'm not gonna tell them, but if you're dating someone,

don't wait around and have bad sex. Life is too short to have bad sex. So there's, to be like, you know a babe, I need to, you know, maybe not calling a baby yet, but you know what, I actually need a little bit, that class don't care if you pull out your vibrator or if you need to touch yourself. There was a woman that called in actually when I was doing love line and she was like, my boyfriend hates that I touch my clitoris during sex. Well, guess what? A lot of women need that. And a lot, most men that you want, that are worth their weight to date are going to, to

be turned on by the fact that you're touching your clip. Don't you think it's hot when a woman touches her clitoris during sex or rubs herself? Or do you feel bad? Oh God, what do you gonna say here? No, no, no, what I really want to ask, it kind of pertains to this, is as a man, I want to ask you, I know sometimes you get sexually frustrated with guys, right? Yes. But do you understand or do you have sympathy that guys,

it's very hard for guys to make it happen for you? Yes, I feel bad for them all the time. Do you think a lot of women do that? I mean, you had to sex person, a sex expert, Dr. Emily Morris, that you never dropped that. I know for that, Dr. Emley Morris. You're surrounded by sex every single day of your life, but the average woman, is she aware how hard it is

for a guy to make them orgasm, or are they unaware? That's a really good question. You write that down, I want you to take a survey. Okay, I would, well, email me, feedback at sexwithmley.com, let's say, survey question. You write that down. I want you to take a survey. Okay. I would well email me feedback at sex with LA dot com. Let's say a survey. Maybe they're not a woman. Women, are you aware of it? Does it bother you? Guys, do you think that now because we always because always and like at the dinner table when you're talking with your girlfriends, oh man, this guy's so lame and we don't talk like that. It's more like I can't have an orgasm or I need to use a vibrator or.

Yeah, but then you're so he's like, oh, he's part of the problem. No, okay. So sometimes the man is part of the problem. This is the man. No, I'm not saying it's not all the time. No, here's the thing. I know how complicated women are. You're right.

I'm a sexologist. I'm a doctor of sex. I know that we are, I'm complicated. I'm not an easy woman either, okay? I get it. Most people are not. Most women take a long time to orgasm and they have to be aware of the fact that,

but I think when I was younger and I first started having sex, I did used to blame the guy because I thought this magical orgasm was just gonna happen when he stuck his penis inside me and I wrote, we wrote around for a little bit and didn't happen and I was pissed and I was like, he's really been,

but this is like when I was 21, I was like, oh my god, he's the worst. And then I realized, well, I wasn't communicating what I needed. Guys don't magically know. And you have to communicate that's why I always say communication is a lubrication. I mean that, that you have to explain to your partner

what you need. Now, that said, I don't expect men anymore to figure out my body. Now some guys are really good, like they do some things like, I'll let them like the first time, like okay, you can perform oral sex on me and like some guys are great.

And they some guys do know what they're doing, but I don't blame the ones who are kind of off missing a little or they're like going too fast or too hard or whatever it is, because every woman wants differently. So his last girlfriend might have loved fingers inside or during all sex. But I, for example, I'm not, this is not true or false, I hate that. So he's taking his fingers in me and I'm like, ouch, or whatever it is.

That's why it's very hard for men because- Every woman is so good. I think that women may learn this over time, but I, so I feel for them. And I feel like another thing that women, I do know is that they think it takes them a long time. So, so women are so conscious when men are performing oral sex and then they want it. I think a lot of them do, but they're like, oh my God, it's been 20 minutes, it's been 25, 30, they're looking at the clock, they're thinking he doesn't really want to do it. So if you're a guy and what you can do is your performing oral sex in her, so this has

been the men fail when they don't perform oral sex and they don't care about female pleasure. It's the guy who gets on top of you with that making sure that you're warmed up with that making sure you've Loob and you just sticks inside you and you ride away. You like a jackhammer and then he comes and he rolls over and falls asleep or Orders of pizza and you're lying there like what the hell happened. I didn't have my pleasure yet. Those are the guys that are douchebags and that are not great lovers because they're not concerned with her pleasure. So, most of all, I should be like, make sure that she has her orgasm first, however it has to happen, or that if you come quickly, or whatever it is, if you come first, make sure that she does.

So, the guys who are not good lovers, it's not because they don't know any certain techniques, because they're not aware that women need to have their pleasure too. Does that answer your question? Yes. Okay. So, what's your advice on approaching sex

as a singleton they asked me? Figure this was like a European magazine. So singleton, figure out your boundaries and do your best to stick to them. So if you know, and this happens to so many of my friends, and I think it's more women than men, if you know that having sex with someone will only leave you feel with someone you just met,

will leave you feeling less than full. Try to avoid these situations. If you want to wait at sex with someone will only leave you feel with someone you just met will leave you feeling less than full try to avoid these situations if you want to wait at sex with someone when you just are dating then wait so I think that there's a lot of people who have casual sex I have friends who have it and then they feel terribly depressed the next day or they have you know they have like you know one-night stands or the guy doesn't call or they head sex too quickly. And they just feel like depressed. A lot of women makes them feel like, oh, why'd I do that?

You know, they over, whatever, it makes them feel bad. But I don't know that men regret sex like women do. No, I can be known. Never. You're like, whatever. You never know. Or unless it was like a girl like, damn, I really suffered that guy.

Right, like the beer goggles in the morning. You're like, really? So I would say, if you know this about yourself as a woman, maybe you're using sex to feel affirmed and to feel better by yourself, but ultimately the next day it makes you feel bad. Pay attention to these patterns and don't have sex quickly, okay?

So casual sex. Think about casual sex is it can be great for a lot of people. I am a fan of casual sex, but it can be very like not pleasant for other people. So you have to look at your past before committing to casual sex. Like I said, how do you feel about yourself afterwards? Check in frequently with your feelings and emotions. So if you know you're on the right emotional track, a lot of guys don't feel great about casual sex either, believe it or not. So if you're

concerned, also about premature ejaculation when you're having oral sex with someone for the first time, you can try a pro-messant, which check on my website, click on pro-messant. It's the only FDA approved treatment for premature ejaculation. You spray it on your penis, she won't know you're using it, and you'll last a lot longer. Because a lot of times casual sucks,

that does lead to early on, and it relates to a week or a week or so. So another thing I want to say, okay, no, back up, back up. Okay, so can you ever have too much casual sex? If you're safe, use protection, enjoy casual sex, and feel good about yourself afterwards. I think you're fine as long as you wear protection.

But if you're having too much casual sex and you're feeling pressured and you don't enjoy this year, experience, and you don't have positive feelings afterwards. So every woman and man, for that matter, should ask these questions. Do I enjoy the act of casual sex? Does it feel good? Do I feel good about myself after having casual sex? Do I trust the person that I'm having casual sex with? And I guess as I'm talking

about friends with benefits situations, this is not just a one-night stand, this is someone that, you know, if the answer is no though to any of those questions, you probably should wait until you know someone better and establish trust before having sex with a new partner. What do you think about that, Matt? I think it's different for Matt and that way too. You guys are never like, oh, what did I do? But casual sex can be hard, I meant too. They're thinking, oh, why is she sleeping with other people?

No, they don't think about that, but you're like, are they gonna get too attached and how am I gonna get in there? How am I gonna get in there? J get too attached and how am I gonna get it? Juggle multiple people, am I gonna be seen? Am I gonna get stabbed because I'm out with some other girl and she sees me and maybe the other girl thought it was more serious than it really was. Right, right.

But women think that that's true and that's why people should talk about it. I've appreciated the more updated that people seem to be very straightforward, at least on the first second date about what they're looking for. Like, they say, I'm looking for relationship. I'm just looking for casual sex. And I think the more of what you are about what your intentions are. And I don't think you should bring up marriage on the first date.

Like, I'm looking for a wife. But you could say, you know, yeah, I'd like to date someone seriously. So I wouldn't talk about marriage on the first date ever. That's just one thing. Because I'll scare anyone away, right? That's gonna be a way Whoa marriage whatever I just met you. I don't know your name actually. I've done that I've got a date and I can check my email to see what his name was or my tax. Oh my god So okay, that's what we got time for it

I know do you think right as you don't it will you put it you've had a girlfriend for a while No, I always know everyone's name, But you don't really bet with names. I've never called them the wrong name. No. And the last three guys I've dated had the same name. I'm not going to say what the name is. What? Yeah.

Actually four guys in the last years. Weird. OK, so everyone, that's all I'm going to say. Thank you. Well, I have a few more things to say. Thank you for listening to his ex, Emily. Check me out on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily. Sign up for my news letter. Goddamn it. I'm a website because I send you really cool stuff, information,

and interesting things about sex and relationships. And tell your friends about this podcast too. If you are loving it, they're going to love it too. And thank you, men, sir, being here. We can find menace on Instagram and Twitter. He's just menace, me and me and ASE. Download the Stitcher app. Stitcher is an amazing, everyone's like, how do I listen to your show easily? Download this app for free, STITCHR. You can listen to any podcast you want. Just put in SX.

Mine pops up first, I think. Yes. And it's easy. I'm going to go, you can listen to it. And yeah, again, on Facebook, Twitter, did I say this already? Instagram, SX with Emily. I love you all. Go to Emily and Tony.com. Use again, on Facebook, Twitter, did I say this already? Instagram, sex with Emily. I love you all. Go to Emily and Tony.com.

Use my products. Oh, one more thing. I was talking about vibrators earlier. I don't remember. I said this. If you go to good vibes.com, use coupon code Emily and you get 15% off anything. So go buy yourself something that will make you go buzz and happy. So anyway, thanks for listening.

To sex with Emily, was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Hi, I'm Emily from sexwithemily.com. What if giving oral sex tasted like strawberries or chocolate? Mask makes these delicious strips like a breast strip, only better. They make oral sex taste like chocolate, strawberry,

watermelon, or mango. Make sex more pleasurable for you and your partner by going to sexualflavors.com. more pleasurable for you and your partner by going to sexualflavors.com.