Sex With Emily - SWE: Spanking, Hair Pulling, and Biting

Episode Date: August 4, 2013

Are you spanking, hair pulling, and nibbling your partner as much as you want? Or are you playing it safe, scared to reveal your true desires? Well, they probably don’t want to do it in the missionary position every single time either. Get some balls and talk to your partner about your sex life. Instead of proclaiming, “you don’t slap my butt enough” over tea and crumpets, have a casual conversation about sex. Calm down, take a deep breath, and share your desires with your partner. I’ll tell you exactly what to say if you want to have more adventurous sex with your lover(s). You’ll be spanking, hair pulling, and biting in no time. Also… You wish you went bowling with a bunch of porn stars Anthony Weiner needs to at least get his premature ejaculation under control (Promescent, anyone?) How to have rough sex without getting too rough (you want it to be sexy, not painful) How to talk about your fantasies with your partner without having the most awkward conversation of your life The point of this podcast is to step outside your comfort zone and start having the sex you and your partner really want. Have courage, stop worrying about every move you make in bed, and enjoy your sex life. You deserve it. If you want to change your love life check out: Promescent, Crazy Girl, Max4Men, Masque, Good Vibrations, and Adam and Eve. Use coupon code Emily for 50% off anything at Adam and Eve + free shipping + 3 free DVDs + a free sexy gift. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl and Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I need to tell you about one of the great companies that's keeping my show free. Who doesn't want to spice things up in the bedroom? Maybe you've been fantasizing about surprising your lover with an adventurous new toy or don't-lubey? Well here's a really special offer for my Sex with Emily listeners. Go to adamanif.com and for a limited time you'll get only 50% off just about any item. So this is a great time to try a couples toy like the Lilo Siri or a vibrating ring

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Adam and Eve will throw in free shipping on your entire order. So check out Adam and Eve.com today for this special offer. Get 50% off one item when you type Emily for the offer code upon checkout. When you do, you get three free DVDs, a free extra gift and free shipping. So just use offer code Emily at Adam and Eve.com. Thanks for listening. This got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute. The girls gotta understand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. your list needs to sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can check out all of our podcasts. We've got hundreds of them we've listened to. And you also check out my website, sexwithenley.com,

and thanks for listening to this show. And I want to thank our listeners because it has been a crazy few weeks, and we have a lot of shows, as you know, on iTunes and on my website. And some of our shows have been repeats. There are best of shows. But I just want to say that they're not dated

because when you're talking about sex, and for example, six months ago, if I was telling you how to give a blowjob it's still the same as it was six months ago so I'm hoping you're enjoying all the shows and we're gonna be having two new shows a week and Speak you blow jobs. Hi, Menace. How are you? Hi, how you doing today? I'm good. How are you? I'm good. I just have to apologize to people. I've been getting some messages. People say that I sound like I'm falling asleep

and I was trying to explain to you and to some listeners the way we record the show because you're a Los Angeles, I'm in San Francisco, is really different from what I've done in the past 15 years. So I can't even hear myself when I'm talking. So it sounds, I kind of sound like I'm falling asleep and my words are all over the place. So working on new, working on new, working now,

you're not boring me. We're working on new system to make everything better. The real way of doing it would probably cost us about $25,000 just to get the setup right and then about $2,000 per show. And we just, you know, right, but, just can't put on that. But that said, we are gonna improve upon it. I'm gonna be, I'm gonna be putting some equipment

and some mics. I mean, I know people would do it around here. They do shows with the mics and the thing. I just have to learn how to do it and buy a new mic and all that stuff. But thanks for hanging in with us. But everything, yeah, everything will be getting better. So I apologize if you know,

the sound is a little weird. Yeah. It has a bit up to, you know, because we repride ourselves on how good the quality is for the show. And I know it's been like that for 10 years. And, you know, we're just trying to work it out on the school season Los Angeles okay yeah exactly Bear with us and I'm working on a day to day is make it better so anyway also I want you to today show special show because we're getting so many emails from our listeners I get emails you know hundreds a day to feedback at sexwithmla.com. So today's show is just

going to be, you know, answering your emails that you send because there are so many interesting topics and I picked the ones I picked to emails today to read that seem to represent the common questions that I get asked. We've got a friend with benefit situation. You've got a couple who's been together for a while and guess what? They don't have sex that often. Another guy wants to know how it would meet what it means when a woman wants to be man-handled in bed. And also we're going to talk about orgasming and all that stuff. So everything today is chock full of all your favorite topics. So I think you're like that. Can we talk about Anthony Wiener first?

Oh my god. Yes. Okay, because you used to work in politics and you're around politics and politicians and everything. But the guy looks like a monkey or a snake or like a lizard. Exactly. But I guess the women really find whatever power this guy may have. I don't even know what kind of power he has. He's running for mayor. He's kind of sexy. But the power is an affidija act. So there's a lot of women who look at people like the mayor. He's running for mayor.

He's already stepped down when he was Senator, but he's, you know, because of his other sex scandal. Or was he Senator? Yeah. Or he's Congressman, whatever he was. He got left that post. And then he says, this is the campaign of redemption. I'm running again for mayor, all that's behind me

and then he can't help himself. So yes, I think we see that with a lot of politicians and I think it's honestly, but it's a power thing and they kind of think they're invincible and they think it doesn't really, they can do whatever they want. And maybe he's got a little addiction going on. You know, I don't want to, I don't want to diagnose him.

He's never been sitting in my, I've never talked on before. But I mean, come on, dude. We, I mean, you know the best part is, so I was actually, you'll appreciate this, man. I said, I should have told you, I was on the Sean Hannity show talking about Anthony Weiner the other day. Oh, really?

You know Sean Hannity, right? He's the right wing. Yeah. Okay, so it was funny because obviously, I'm like the left wing sexpert from California, and he was like, don't you think? He was like, I hear you open relationships, Emily. You would like, you know, he was kind of, he actually wasn't that bad to me, but it was

really funny because the thing, so I talked about Anthony Weiner and I talked about like why people do this certain thing. And I just feel like maybe he is sort of in, his wife stood up and supported him just like we saw Hillary Clinton with Bill Clinton. But I do think there's something about politicians that think they're invincible and all that. But the best part is the day after I was so bummed because the best part of the whole Anthony Wiener scandal came out. And if you guys don't know Anthony Wiener, he was already a fallen man for sending pictures of tweeting pictures of his penis.

And he had a resign from office two years ago, right? So then he's coming back, running for mayor, saying, hey, yeah, I'm all cured. I'm not going to do that anymore. And now it comes off. And he's like not only texting all these women, but this one woman said that they had phone sex. But the best part of it is that he premature ejaculated during phone sex. Yeah. Oh no.

She was on, she was on Howard's turn today and it was the best interview ever. Tell me what she's saying. She laid it all out. Like, he always wanted to know what kind of shoes she was wearing. Like, oh, tell me about your heels, but it was all about him. She's like, she's like, yeah, he, he never cared about what I was interested in. She's like, everything I had to say was how to be about him and boosting his ego on everything.

I think that's common. And she said that she would call her like four or five times a day just to have phone sex. Oh my God, four or five times a day, that sounds sort of impulsive to me. And that does sound like an issue. I didn't listen to it, I got to listen to it. That is crazy. Yeah, oh, it's so good. Like she says everything, I'll send you a link. Okay, send me the link, I want to hear it. And speaking of premature ejaculation,

so I've come across, so premature ejaculation is a common, we know you always hear about a rectile dysfunction and people taking Viagra, but premature ejaculation is actually, is a lot of people who are diagnosed with ED actually have premature ejaculation and they don't know it. And so there's this new spray and I met with this guy yesterday and this is going to like take over the world. So basically it's called ProMesson and that's PROME, SE&T.

And it's a cure for, I mean, it's, it helps people who have erectile, who have premature ejaculation, which a lot of guys do, you know, like within, you know, a minute they can't control their orgasms. Basically, it kind of does a slightly numbing effect on your penis, and you can actually last longer, and it's the only solution out there. And all the other sex birds in the world, like, I think it's really going to like change the way men of sex because you don't have to take a pill. It's not like my agro. You don't have to go on antidepressants, which is what a lot of doctors tell you to do when you're having

some kind of rectal thing. But you just spray it on your penis. It doesn't hurt. It makes it a little numb and you won't have premature ejaculation. So I just want to say a lot of our listeners are men might be their issue. And this thing is like taking off like wild fire. So I just want to tell everyone about it. Yeah, and this oh Just go back to the chick real quick. She's a total total fame horror. She's already thinking about doing our porno Get paid of course yet. She's such. She's like I don't even care But tell me this menace did they ever meet? Did they meet or was it all phone sex? They they never met in person. It was all phone sex. And she said that he

would tell her how he wanted to come on her feet. Oh, God. So he's got a foot fetish too. We love foot fetishes. We're always trying to figure that out. So this is so upsetting. This is really I feel bad. I mean, I mean, I feel bad for the whole his wife. She's a beautiful woman. She sees really smart, really intelligent. Guys who are politicians, I'm telling you, you know what it is. It's like, it's like they're out that like some people drink a lot, some people go to the gym, some people eat too much. I think that he's just got some kind of, you know, his release is if it's four times a

day, that's pretty impulsive. Yeah. And the best part is the cleanser piss now about this because everyone keeps on bringing up the clins and Hillary Clinton supposedly be supposed to be running for president soon right and this can the scandal keeps on coming up in the media and they're comparing it i know but no one's forgotten about it she thinks that's gonna ruin it we all know that it's happening you know yeah i mean it's it's reminding people

it's her people. It's for window. That's true. That would be a total bummer. Like, that would be a bummer if you were, you're like, Oh, damn, you're dredging up the fact that you know, Monica Lewinsky and the whole thing. Yeah, crazy. That is just, I mean, I don't understand every politic, which politicians haven't had a sex scandal raise your hand? I mean, you hear something every single day, you really do. And you think when he's running on the campaign of redemption that he wouldn't do it, but

anyway, it's good fodder for the media and all that stuff. This is an idiot. He's a toll idiot. I don't know. I just think people can't control their urges sometimes. So it's a bum on our hands. He went from, he went from number one in the poll set four now. I know. He's going to drop out any day. It's very sad. He said he's not going to drop out. Oh, really's very sad. He said he's not gonna drop out. Oh really? He will.

His campaign manager quit. I mean you're right. I bet you he will though. I mean he's gonna run out of money. He's not gonna get any more money. I mean we'll see what happens. Maybe you won't. The thing about politics too though,

is that he was the front runner before this happens. And I often liken it to like a basketball game where like really if you care about the game you can watch it the last 30 seconds and that's when everything happens no matter who's in the lead. I feel like politics a lot that way too Like that people it's only August right now with I mean August gets July the campaigns in November and people forgot I mean

This is really big but seriously other things could happen and maybe he'll stay in the race stranger things have happened Yeah, we just see what her interview was so good It was all it was this straight tell all it was crazy. That's amazing And how did she know it was him? He didn't change it. He changed his name to danger No, so what she what she said was it was She was like really she's really big into politics So she knows everything about politics and she said that she messaged him on Facebook saying how

how disappointed she was in him and with all this sex scandal, all this kind of stuff, right? She said not until a year later, he messages her back and apologizes, but she said like within like the conversation quickly turned into flirting and dirty talk. Oh my God, the Facebook conversation. Yeah. What an idiot. She's Christ people. Then it got into some public knowledge.

Yeah, then it got into phone stuff and all that kind of stuff. I'm like, what is he doing all day? I don't understand. I don't understand. I'm like, how do you even have time to do all day? I know who has time for phones. I mean, seriously, well, that kind of stuff. I'm like, what is he doing all day? He's, I don't understand. I mean, how do you even have time to do all day? I know, who has time for phones that, I mean, seriously, well, that's the thing. I think it's like, it's like a, it's like a compulsive thing.

Four times a day. I know, that's a lot of ejaculation. I'm like, that's a lot of time. I know, I know, I don't have time either. He's running for mayor, like, I don't understand it either because there are the busiest people in the world when they're running for mayor, so I don't even understand. But that is crazy.

Okay, so, and then what else is happening in the news? We used to do our sex in the news segment, but I don't know. Anything else, that's like the biggest thing is weiner's weiner. And then I just read today that that teen mod, this is so bad. I don't want to perpetuate it, but that Farah who did the sex tape that she's making so much money on her sex tape, that's just perpetuating all these girls are going to go out and make sex tapes now. Please don't do that, people. If you're listening, don't do it. Just because men is does it, but he doesn't release them at least.

Um, I heard the guy, the guy in that tape though is like super popular now. Oh my god. Everybody wants to meet him. I'm sure he is. This is my God. Everybody wants to meet him. I'm sure he is. This is the worst. Everybody wants to meet him. Oh honey, do you know what I want to tell you speaking of reality shows? I'm going to be on the Kris Jenner show in a few weeks. Oh my God, can I please be in the audience?

Yeah, do you want to come as my guest? Yes, please. Okay, it's the show. I'm not, I'm not joking. You know how much I look at this show. I know, I know Kris Jenner's the Kardashian mom if you don't watch television. I want her to be my manager.

I want her to be my manager. I know, me too, dude. I so want to manage. That's the thing. It's the family. Family does your right if they're your manager. I've just got some manager who I never talk to. Yeah.

So I'm going to be on the show and I'm going to be releasing my new product line that's coming out, which is called Emily and Tony, and I'm gonna be giving everyone a candle in the audience by massage candles. So, it's gonna go. Oh, that's awesome. I know I'm really excited about that. What is this?

What is this? I swear to God, I wanna go. I'm not playing. Okay, well, this is so funny. It's like offline. No, we're recording it on Monday, the 20th of August. I think it's the 19th of the 20th. Yeah, come, seriously, you probably in town

anyway, not gonna call me, but now you could stay any way for a longer day in the than the comm. Because men's love is hanging out with me for reels. And I've got a new, I mean, West Hollywood now. I moved to West Hollywood. Sweet. I know it's your like 20th time moving. I know. I've moved so much. I'm sitting on boxes right now in my bedroom with clothes everywhere in sex toys. Like menace, I have a problem. Like I have so many sex toys because people, as you know, we've talked about this, but people send them to me and I don't know.

And so now I'm just giving them away. Like I'm having friends come over, I'm giving them away. I should give them way to listeners. If you want some sex toys email me here we go. We're gonna get millions of emails, but feedback at sexeselmy.com. We do contest all the time on Twitter, which is sex with Emily, but I feel like it's

part of my job. So when I moved from San Francisco, I got rid of all my furniture, all my stuff, but what I do have is a storage unit filled with sex toys, which I emptied into my new house, and I have all my sex books. That's what I preserve the closest things to my heart. And I don't know what that says about me. And I don't even use them, they're not even open. I mean, I use some sex toys, but okay. So I this week I also managed to

do something I went bowling with 100 porn stars. There was a special event called like bowling with porn stars. And then in the valley, of course, and I was not the cutest one there. At all, there was all these porn stars. And it was funny. I've got all these funny pictures, but I went with crazy girl, you know, crazy girl, they make the amazing shave creams and they make this orgasm gel that you literally, so if you have a partner or a woman is listening right now and you can't have an orgasm, like it's hard for you to have an orgasm,

you can rub this orgasm gel on your clitoris and I'm not kidding you. It totally enhances your sexual experience. It like blood runs, it makes the blood rush to your clitoris, and it feels amazing. But they've all these really cool shaving creams for your private parts, so you don't get bumps, and pleasure gels, and all that stuff.

So check out go to crazygirlproducts.com. Use coupon code Emily25, and you get 25% off any of their products, and they've got like a chisillion. And I got a video coming soon because I went to their offices and they gave me more sex toys and more products, but they're really cool So we did a fun video of all their really unique offerings and stuff like that Okay, we can get into the emails now from the peeps Unless you have anything else to share with me, which I'd love to hear.

Oh, there was something I was going to share. I'll bring it back up. Bring it back. Okay. Okay, and again, what? No. It's crazy that you're moving so much. Oh, Sandeys, I know everyone thinks I have commit. Well, okay, I've been known to have commitment challenges, but my friend is like, up your commit I've moved three times in Three I've moved and lived in two other places for three months each and now I'm in another place But I could actually for longer, but it is crazy to have moved that many times, but I also feel like it's a big city I don't know where I want to live yet. Yeah, I Was at the beach now. I'm in the city. I don't know we'll figure it out

It's funny, but you got to come see the place. Okay, so thanks everyone for emailing me feedback at sexwithelmy.com, follow me on Twitter as well, sex with Emily and Facebook like my page because it's our Facebook page is awesome. We have great tips, funny posts, funny things you might want to share, so check that out. A menace, where can everyone find your ass around these towns, around these parts? Your menace? Yes.

Okay. Okay. Hey Emily, what's up menace? Great show. I listen to most episodes while it work. My question is, when a female says she likes to be man-handled in bed, what does that exactly mean? I know it means being rough, but maybe you could give some

examples. Thanks and keep up with the great show, Ed. Okay, Ed, here's the deal. There probably means she wants to feel dominated, which is really hot. There's a lot of women who, you know, like to be dominated, look at the whole 50 shades of gray phenomenon, that's about a woman being dominated, and, you know, there are men that like to be dominated, but women sometimes just kind of like a little, you know, little something something So some suggestions are if you're doing it doggy style, you know, you're having sex with her from behind You can lightly pull on her hair a little bit and her chin tilts back And then she'll get a glance of you doing her from behind and that could really turn around

So tugging hair can get it archer back and that could create really cool sensations for you both. So I always say start with a little light hair pulling and I mean light. I mean like you probably you're a dude you might be stronger than her. Don't yank her head back but lightly do it and it's hot. Like men as you've done the hair pull right? Yeah. What do you think? Do you feel like most women? I shouldn't say most. It's so hard on a sex show because they're not everything for everyone but seriously like a lot of women if she's telling you that she wants to be dominated. She wants to be hand man handled, I'd say start with the hair pulling. Yeah I say 80% of women would like it. It's true. I think so too. Everyone I've heard of likes it. Also, biting can be fun. And by biting I mean nibbling. Like nibbling

on your lips while you're kissing and just gauge her reactions. So when you're like making out you can do a little lower lip nibble. And that's kind of a good lip mist test to see if she's into it. And then you could also kind of nibble on her neck or butt or inner thighs. But don't give her hickies because that is not hot. But just a little you know a little nibbling. Do you do the nibbling on us? Oh yeah all the time. You're a nibbler, see? Oh, God, this is how we got it.

You got a nibble. You got a nibble, but not too hard, but you might like it hard, so here's the thing. I'm telling you, the hair pulling, when you pull our hair and you tug at it gently, oh my God, this is such a great suggestion, because a lot of guys don't think about that, and I think it's wrong, just do it gently.

Now, if you then you can ask her, how did that feel? And then you could do a little harder, same with the nibbling. If she likes the nibbling you can try to bite her a little, you know, nibble a little harder and see how it goes but always start five times lighter than you think you should. So here's another thing about man handling. You can also make sucks, sucks a little rougher if you hold on her wrists so she can't move her arms. Like I think that's hot when guys do that when we're having sacks and they like hold my hands above my head. Again, a lot of women might have some issues with it if they you know they're not into being restrained, it could scare them. But I think if you do it playfully

with one hand and you know just just intimating that she can't move her arms obviously she wants to move her arms she can but you put them over her head and she'll be momentarily denied the pleasure of touching you and she'll feel like she's being dominated. So this can be great when you're holding her down or against a wall. I mean that is hot. Push her against the wall and hold her arms again or against her head. That's a hot move. Don't you think? It is pretty hot. I know. Now like I love when you guys like you know they throw against the wall or they throw you down on the bed and it does have to be too hard. It can just be like a light pushed down on the bed. Like I think that's just like push me down and hold my hands

up. I think that's a good good man handling 101. And then after these tips, you might want to graduate to some bondage. I'm so into bondage, you know, bond and not person I love talking about bondage and I do like a little light bondage, but I'd say stick with butt-slapping, biting, pulling and holding. So there you go. Ed, I think those are some good tips for you and you will rock her world, especially because she asked for it. This is what I love.

I love when people are with women who are just like, hey, this is what I want. I want to be a little more man-handled. I want to be a little more dominated. Don't you just want women to tell you what the hell they want in bed? Yes. Please, be more vocal. little more dominated. Don't you just want women to tell you what the hell they want in bed? Yes, please be more vocal. Be more vocal. Tell your partner because let me tell you this. What the hell are you waiting for? Seriously? Like, if you're sitting there with your partner, man are woman, or woman, woman, man, man, whoever you're with, I don't care who you sleep with, and you're thinking, God, I really wish she would

just pull my hair. I really wish she would spank me or I really wish she would perform all sex something more. And you keep waiting for them to figure it out, figure it out, it's not going to happen. Like it's not like one day a life-opsing and going over their head and they're going to know exactly what you desire. So you need to look at your relationship and figure out why you're not talking about it. Why aren't you talking to your partner about it?

Like I think, you know, there's like the old stigma that women think they're going to be slutty or men think that, you know that whatever she's going to be turned off by whatever he wants. But there's ways to playfully, and I'm going to get into this a second, there's ways to playfully talk to your partner about it. So it's not so, like if that's intimidating to you to bring up sex, I'm going to give you some tips and a little bit that help you ease into the conversation. But I just think that you're wasting your life not having the sex life that you deserve. That's what I'm gonna say. And that pisses me off.

That's a sad life. Very sad. Okay. I know what I want to tell you. I apologize. Oh good, tell me. It just got released the other day. There's this video, I think it's on Cocker,

or you can just look it up on YouTube. They did a test of, they put a woman out on the street and they also put a man out on the street. And a woman went up to every single guy that she saw as said, can we go have sex right now? Let's do it. I'm dead serious.

And what do you think is the percentage of guys that said they'll do it Just a random chick on the street the sub random chick that just went up to you and they didn't know that she was being was she being filmed or was she just They didn't know they're being filmed. I think 70% of men said yes, I don't know what about that It was 50% of men said yes, I don't know what it was It was 50% of men, but you know, I bet like the other 50 were just like oh this is set up There's something going on. I'm getting you know robbed or something You know that's a most of them would think because they'd be like oh my god This is my number one fantasy, but it can't really be happening right now. That's some cute cute chicks wants to have sex with me

That is funny. This is not real. I know. And then what do you think the percentage of women? Oh. That said yes. Oh my God. Like none. None. 5%. Fourth, three percent. Zero. Zero. Women are not going to be like, oh, hey, stranger. Yeah, let's go bone in your, because you know why? Not just because women are more timid or scared, it's because women need to be, need foreplay in the sense of not touching her breast, but she needs to be wooed. She needs to be turned on. If a guy's like, let's go bone right now,

unless she just came back from, you know, masturbate, air having sex, she's not turned on. Guys can like, zero to 60, they're like, yeah, let's go bang, you know? Women, if a guy just said to me, hey, let's go have sex, I would feel like, at least tell me I'm hot, and then maybe I'll go suck your penis or something, but you know, Jesus, just don't ask me like that.

Okay, dear Emily, first things first, I love your show. Listening to your podcast has definitely made my sex life more exciting and fun. Here's my question. I have this friends with privileges that is super hot and really fun and fun. Here's my question. I have this friends with privileges that is super hot and really fun and bad. Could you please give me a few pointers on what I can do to get a little more action from this gorgeous woman? I would like these encounters to occur more frequently. Thanks Emily and Menace. Sign Tom. PS, been using the Kegel app for a couple weeks and I like it. Awesome, I have an

iPhone app called Kegel Camp. It's for men and women, it will improve your sex life and you should download it now for iTunes, for your iPhone. Okay, so this is interesting, I like friends with privileges, it's like a friends with benefits situation. So okay, here's where we talk about the partner, this is where I'm going to teach you some tips about talking to your partner about sex. So I always say the first thing I say is, you know, ask her what her fantasies are. I think that could be difficult for some people if you've never talked about sex before

with this person. I think, again, women think, oh, he's going to judge me. I don't really want my fantasies to come true. I just like to think about that when I'm masturbating. But if she does, this is great. She might say, you know, she might tell you and then you tell her about one of her fantasies. You might tell her about one of her fantasies. You might tell about one of your fantasies. But another way to do it is,

if you're with someone that you're kind of hesitant talking about sex, because think about it, man, so if you're with someone for a while, like, don't you think it can be hard, even if you're with them for a while or a few months, it's hard to talk about it sometimes initially, just to be like, so, would you think of that oral sex last night, right?

I mean, you just, don't you think with some women, it can be difficult to talk about sex? Yeah, you don't want to talk about it. No, I know. Because people think it should just be perfect and it should be what you want and section be something you talk about, but I'm here to call your bullshit. But so you can also say to her, what's your favorite sex scene in a movie? Like what's the sex? Do you remember the first time you saw a sex scene in a movie? What was it about? Who was your high school fantasy? Or what do you like when we're having sex?

What's your favorite position? And just start having a conversation about sex. Because some people don't have fantasies, some women don't want to share it. You could also play like, you know, tooth or dare. You could share some stories about your, you know, when was the first time she masturbated or how often do you masturbate? I mean, if you're having sex with someone, I honestly don't think these things are off limits. I feel like, you know, that most people I find want to talk about it anyway. And if they don't, I mean, I don't understand

why, if you're having sex with someone, it's like you have a job and you never want to go for it for a performance review. It's like, why would you work with someone for years and never have a performance review? You wanna know from your boss or whoever, what you can do better, just like sex. Don't you wanna know how it can be better for the person? I just think we all settle into these sexual situations in a relationship where we do have sex the same way

all the time and we're never like, hey, how do I make this better? What did that? So how would you do it, Manus? How would you bring up sex if you ever did that? Maybe you do. How would I do it, menace? How would you bring up sex if you ever did that? Maybe you do. How would I do it? Yeah.

I would first ask a lady if she would like a martini or something like that. You'd ask her if she wants a martini, menace. A martini. Right. And I would probably make fun, not too serious. Right. Okay.

It'll be like super serious. It'll be like, hey, we don't want to be uncomfortable. Yeah, you don't want to be uncomfortable at all about it. Guys are just going to start being really quiet if it gets to to to serious. Don't make it serious. In fact, all these conversations should be light and fun and playful. I mean, they should just be like, hey, so how'd you like that? You know, strip T's I did for you or whatever.

I mean, just I don't know. I just think that like again, just do one thing. Have one conversation with your partner. However you want to start it, but start doing that now. It's not just for our friend Tom here. Okay. Hi, Emily. My girlfriend only seems to have an orgasm with a vibrator.

I've never had this happen before. Is there anything that can be done? What am I doing wrong? I've only been with four women in my life, and in most cases, I can give them at least two orgasms each time. Is there anything I can do? Thanks, Peter. Okay, Peter, first of all, you've only moved to the four women and they each have orgasms twice.

I'm sure they've sort of faked it. I don't mean to be, I'm sure you have mad skills in bed, but the likelihood of that is not great. And, um, but that's not the point of your question. So you are doing, I just am always amazed when I'm like four women and they said two orgasms each time, most people I know are lucky if they can have one orgasm each time. But I don't want to insult you, Peter, because maybe you just, again, you're the master. Okay, so you're doing nothing wrong, Peter. Here's a thing.

She just needs extra stimulation from a vibrator to have an orgasm. Some women just need a hell of a lot of clitoral stimulation. So there's nothing that you can do for these women. I mean you could try touching her clitoris yourself. You could perform oral sex on her for a while before you have sex, but it just seems to me like she again I don't know how she's orgasming it's vaginally or clitorally, but if I look at most women and the studies and everything that shows that they need more clitoral stimulation. So here's the thing, if you aren't to having sex, if you haven't used a vibrator with her during sex, try it.

Women just need the clitoral stimulation, and so here's my favorite sex vibrator, which is so funny because I, again, I have, I'm probably bordering on about 800 vibrators, not that I've used, but my favorite still for the last year, year and a half has been the J-JU Mimi. It's J-E, J-O-U-E, and it's the Mimi, M-I-M-I, and it's my favorite one to use during intercourse. Because it fits in the palm of your hand, it looks like a pebble. It looks like, I mean, it's bigger than a pebble. It looks like a stone, like a smooth stone,

but it's a vibrator, but that's like the shape of it. So the point is, it fits in your hand. It's so discreet, it doesn't look like a vibrator at all. It's quiet. It has really strong vibrations, and it works for me every time, and a lot of people that I've told about it about it It works and the best part is that no one even knows the vibrator So I had it when I was in Michigan and it was sitting on my desk. I'm like, what's this? And I was like, oh, it's just why told my mother it was a vibrator But you can't tell like it looks it's just and it's really lightweight and it's really cool And of course I didn't vibrate when I was in Michigan because that'd be weird I didn't actually know I had it with me because I I don don't know, I never would. I never masturbate when I'm visiting my family.

Anyway, the point is, never, never, never, no. It's too small, it's too whatever. My mom's gonna walk in, she's always walking and talk to me every 10 minutes. But I have my JG wherever I go, go to goodvibes.com. That's goodvibes.com. Use coupon code GVMLE20, and you get 20% off orders of $100 or more, and they have amazing products, say, good vibes.

So you know how much I love good vibrations, but I'm obsessed with this usually, you mean me, like I don't even have another suggestion for you all now, like I just say, go buy that and call the day. That's what make you feel really good, Peter. And you still minus seven, it sex with someone using a vibrator, or is that changed? What? No.

Never? Never. Okay. Okay, fine. You're just with all these women who have massive orgasms all the time. Is that true? Yeah.

Okay, so I've got a final email here Emily I'm 18 and just started to have sex I've been masturbating for four-ish years and when I masturbate I last like 45 minutes But when I have sex I last like 1.5 hours and it's starting to make my girlfriend feel inadequate Any advice and how I can last a bit less? Thanks anonymous on that equipment. Any advice and how it can last a bit less? Thanks, anonymous. So this is called, we talked early about premature ejaculation. This is actually called delayed ejaculation. And delayed ejaculation happens.

It's common. This is more common than you think. And there's a lot of guys that just they last longer. And your girlfriend just reassure that this is how it happens for you. And she's not doing anything wrong. Make sure that you please her beforehand. You can perform oral sex on her or maybe she is able to orgasm during intercourse,

which 35% of women can. I would also want to know, what is your most ejaclitory position? So for a lot of guys, it's doggy style or the missionary position. So you'll probably last longer than you want in positions like women on top. A lot of guys can't orgasm when women are on top of that much. And also the more for play you have, the more quickly you will orgasm.

You can also spend more time exploring each other's bodies before sex. So give each other little or a sex beforehand. There's nothing wrong with having sex until she orgasms and then you can have your orgasm another way. So if she's getting tired during sex because an hour and a half is a lot of time. I mean sometimes that's really fun but an hour and a half. I mean there's so much to do. I'd say my cycling on my to-do list would be going through my head. You know what I'm saying? Every time if it was an hour and a half, I was with a guy like that once a few years ago and I dated him for a few months and it is a little like, oh here we go. We're going to be here for six hours because he's not going to have an orgasm.

But I really don't know and he's been that way his whole life. So I just like, I don't have like a quick fix for you. I don't think there's anything that you can do except for try to accommodate around the situation and make sure that she's happy that she's pleased. And you know what, if she's getting tired or sore after having sex alone, you might just not have to have your rest and you don't have to wait and have it the next day. So, um, but again, try those suggestions of going into your go-to position. You would go to position, right, Manny? Yeah, it's the frog. What's the frog? I'm just kidding. You don't have one? Like, what about from behind? Like, don't you have a position they're like,

oh, now I'm going to come really quickly. Yeah, I mean, you go, I don't know. It's that I want to. It's usually just missionary. Every other one I can last longer. But missionary, you know, you just, you know, do the jack rabbit and you're done. Exactly. Exactly.

The freaking jack rabbit. Don't do that often, people. The jack rabbit is one of the biggest, but oh, go to my website speaking of not doing the jack rabbit and put in your email address. I won't spam you, but you will receive a report called the five biggest mistakes men are making in bed or the five biggest mistakes women are making in bed It'll take you like a half hour after your e-mail it doesn't to receive it But um because that's something wrong with the not wrong

But whatever the server we use it takes half hour But you will get it and it's amazing and it will all help you because maybe you're doing one of the things in bed That just you maybe shouldn't be doing anymore like the jackhammer which by the way I'm not saying you should never do the jackhammer But if the jackhammer is your go-to move and you're only move, then we need to talk. Okay, Mattis, that's what we got time for today. Anything else that you'd like to share with me? Do you really want to come with me and be on television?

No, I mean, I don't want to be on TV, but I just want to go. Yeah, just being the audience or just hanging out with you while you do your thing. I on TV. I just want to go. Yeah, just being the audience or just, you know, just hanging out with you while you do your thing. I'm excited. I really want to do it. That's where. Done. I just want you to get in.

I'll be there. Okay. I just want you to come. I want you to come visit. And then what else? Also. Tell me. Download Stitcher to listen to this show.

It's a free app for your smartphone. It's available on your iPhone and your Android, your tablet. You can even listen online on a desktop if you want to. But it's the best way if you want to listen to your car also. So download Stitcher, it's totally free. That's where I'm recording in San Francisco. STI TCHER. I love Stitcher.

I love it because you can listen to any podcast. free. That's where I'm recording in San Francisco as T-I-T-C-H-E-R. I love Stitcher. I love it because you can listen to any podcast, not just ours, but if you like podcasts, you can instantly access it and listen to it on your phone or in your car. And it's awesome. We love Stitcher. You can just type in Sex and automatically it would be the first show of the podcast. I'll be the first because we are the first. We're the only Sex Podcast that matters anyway. So we've been doing this a long time. We know we're talking about, I am a doctor now.

So, you know, I've got my doctor sex. No, you gotta change everything. I know it's on the list of things to do. But also, I want to say that I have a book called Hot Sex over 200 Things You Could Try Tonight. It's amazing. It has beautiful illustrations. You can leave it on your coffee table

if you don't have children around. And it's actually an amazingly beautiful book. I've got my iPhone app, Kegel Camp, and my other app, Sex Drive. They will improve your sex life. So just download those apps today. And check out, you know, check out Sex Family, check out our website, and email me feedback at sexzelmy.com

and you can find menace. Oh, and he's on Instagram. You love your Instagram, menace, M-E-N-A-C. Yeah, menace. Menace is my favorite. I'm going to be in Chicago this weekend. So check out all my backstage photos from Vagabalooza if you're into music.

You love Chicago women. Yeah, they're awesome. I know. Chicago people in general, just really cool. They are really cool. I love Chicago. All my Midwestern peeps. Okay, well have a great time, menace. Don't do anything I wouldn't do. And thanks everyone

for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamlee.com. This episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors, Mass Sexual Flavor Strips. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate. It's kind of like a mystery strip, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex with El Me For Free, check out mask at sexualflavers.com. I promise your sex life will improve. you