Sex With Emily - SWE: Steak and BJs for the Soul

Episode Date: March 15, 2014

English professor turned gay pornstar, Conor Habib, visits the Sex With Emily show to celebrate Steak and Blow Job Day with tips on how to give the best blow job and overall insights on how to be a great lover. Conor tells us about his first gay experience on and off set. They talk about the rise in anal sex in college co eds. Conor talks about his petition against censorship in the popular app Vine (is Twitter next?). The scientfic hoax behind masterbation shame is revealed.  Conor interjects in the circumsised debate by describing how he's got "the best of both worlds". The duo wraps up with Los Angeles  vs. San Francisco dating scenes and the biggest (and surprising!) drug found on porn sets. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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I'm a firm believer in foreplay. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and fougère. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emily and Tony.com. And you're welcome. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts.

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How hot is Connor? Have you? We just had a calf off. I thought I had the biggest calves in the world. Turns out I know he's so hot. You know what I love. Okay, so so Connor Beave is my guest. Hello. Hi Connor. You might recognize him. He was on a show about a year ago. I realize. Thank you. And he's a writer, lecture, and adult film star. And so he was on my show before you moved to LA. And you came in and we had it in my apartment thing because I wasn't really like I didn't get set up in the studio yet from my San Francisco transition and you're just you're just so hot and cool and I love their interview And now you moved here. I'm so excited I'm from San Francisco. I know and we need to talk about that

Because I think it's like a it's a good thing for our lives What would you write you lecture adult film I agree all that stuff right? It's entertainment and people have been saying for years you got to move you and I'm like no I I can do it all in San Francisco, but like things just no, and I think Los Angeles needs people who are talking about sex more in San Francisco Does San Francisco is kind of all set with its legs? They're like ready to go yeah exactly like we're like swinging having sex parties like it lunch I like that. I also want to say that okay you're at a Delphim. Sorry. You're gay well, I No, no, I'm sure because then we can have sex

Yeah, well, it's possible after the show we can talk about it I actually I say I'm attracted to men because yeah gay feels sort of like weirdly uncomfortable for me No, no, no, it's not a bad word at all. No, I used to say I was gay, but as I get older, I'm more into all sorts of things. Oh, really? Like, what does that mean, all sorts of things? Well, basically, when I say that, it means that I am a tricter woman. I've never acted on it.

I'm a woman. You never have touched on the woman. I'm a virgin in one way, possibly only one way, which is the regular way. OK, you can talk after the show. I'm not a virgin. So, no, we could talk, but that's cool. But I think you're just awesome.

And we've been trying to get together. But we did have a calf off, which is so funny, is because we go to the same gym, which I haven't actually been to in months in L.A. And so my trainer there that I saw, I was like, do you know Connor or Bibb? Because he's done some scenes with you or something. And I was like, yeah, I do. I love me. He's like, he's so hot. And then you moved here. And then apparently you spend a lot of time at gym because you look amazing. Oh, thank you. I know.

And I want to be in there. But I don't do go again. I go early. Yeah, I wake up early. And I go, that's my list of things to do this year. It's to wake up early. It changes your life. Although I've been waking up early for the past seven years So now I'm actually doing the other thing where I'm trying to sort of like stay up late and shake it off and like Just get into like a more freedom because I was so restricted for so long What do you mean restricted? Well, I just put it. I was just very disciplined. You know wake up What time do you wake up when you say early? When I when I was in San

Francisco early was 5.36 o'clock. Wow. Now in LA, it's not like that anymore. Now in LA. Because you're out farting and you're not. Yeah, well, I don't go out and party exactly, but I do do a lot more fun stuff. And then it's like eight o'clock. Eight o'clock is now early. Okay. No, that's good. I could do that. I could do that. I could do that. But I got to tell you you own this city when you wake up at 530. I've done it. Oh my god. No one knows. You miss all the traffic and then you get home before all the traffic and you're just like, I mean, the problem is you have to go to bed early and that sucks. I know it does suck. I'm not, I'm like a total night because then I do love line after this show. And I want to check out. I don't know if everyone knows what love line is, but it's also a podcast, but it might be playing in your city.

It's a show that's been around for about 30 years with Dr. Drew. And anyway, so I do that. I get home here at midnight, but I'm so energized by doing live radio that I'm like up to four in the morning and then I'm all messed up the next day. But I'm gonna try to make it to the... My cathar would too, and Dr. Drew, are the hosts of it.

I love them. Okay, so Connor, so first tell me about, we're going to get into a lot of things today because you're a prolific writer. You're going to start writing some stuff for sex with Emily. I'm committing you right here on the air. Right on. Um, also writing for Patty Stanger as I do on her blog. We're going to start next week. Patty knows correct. My column is called free sex with Connor. I love it. Yeah. That's really cool. Yeah. And I write one for her too. That's called, I don't know, sex. Sex. But that's really fun. But you're also going to start writing for us, which we're

going to talk about. But tell me about how you got started first in the adult industry. Okay. So I wanted to be important since I was about 12 years old. Maybe a little earlier than that. I had always wanted to do it. So my whole life. And I just why though? Why? Well, there are a lot of reasons. I mean I think when I was that young I mean your reasons change as you get older right. Whereas that young it was like okay why wouldn't somebody do this first of all it was like this is the most awesome thing in the world why wouldn't I had no change about it. You like sexual you always like into yes but I didn but I didn't have any outlet.

You know what I mean? I grew up in small town, Pennsylvania. I had nowhere to put it. What era did you grow up in? Outside of Alan Tom. No era. What era? The decade.

Oh, the 80s and the 90s, yeah. All right, so I guess, because I think I'm maybe a little bit older than you, but I barely knew what porn was when I was like 12-11. Yeah. I knew about it too early, for sure. But my question to you is like, how do you even know what porn was? A 12, we don't want to do it.

When my parents got divorced, my dad got a cable shooter box. Do you guys remember those? Where it was like, it would... Spice channel, right? Yeah, well, but we actually had just like a hard core porn channel. This is actually a great story

because it's like the hand of fate directed my life. So my dad had this huge giant screen TV and the cable cheater box and me and my dad and my stepmom and my sister are all sitting in the room. He's flipping through the channels because when he flip it's just a blip you can see literally nothing on the screen. And as he passed channel 27,

which was the porn channel, the battery and the remote die. And so I was seven years old and I saw this giant penis and giant vagina, I had no idea what it was. And so I was seven years old and I saw this giant penis and giant vagina. I had no idea what it was. And my sister covered my eyes. I didn't think. I didn't think.

Yeah. I mean, that penis certainly did not look like my seven-year-old penis. So somebody, my sister covered my eyes and screamed and my dad had to run up and turn the TV off manually. But I already seen it. You know, and I was like, OK, wait, there's something I'm not supposed to see.

But apparently, I am supposed to see it because it's on TV. Right. And you know, and I was like, okay, wait, there's something I'm not supposed to see, but apparently I am supposed to see it because it's on TV Right and it and you know, it's there. So I didn't get it, you know, it was a weird puzzle So that was the first time I ever saw porn and then did you wait for your parents to go out? I think I'd leave the house and then you turn it on I didn't really care about it till I was you know until I went through puberty You know what I mean? I might have been a little entranced by it, but I didn't care so much You know like I would look at it and be like what's that? But it wasn't didn't really click for me until I went through puberty. Yeah, okay, because I Don't remember see now. I do remember seeing the weird HBO and it was the fuzzy like the showtime

Emanuel films, but you couldn't really see it exactly But you couldn't really see it, but I didn't get turned on for like years I was like 19 like I didn't have any sexual feelings. You didn't have any sexual feelings No, I did I hooked up with God. I had boyfriends, but I just didn't like masturbate or anything You weren't into it. Yeah, no, I wish there was I'm so envious of people like you have these like early sexual feelings. Well, what was the what can you remember the first time you masturbated? Have you talked about that before? Oh totally I mean I didn't even the thing that pisses me off is that it never even occurred to me to masturbate.

It didn't even like, I wasn't like lying, being like, oh, this might feel good. And I don't know why. I mean, I think my childhood growing up was pretty tumultuous. Maybe I was anxious. I mean, I'm always anxious. But I'm pretty high-strung for no. But it was, you know, I don't know what it was.

But like, how do you not just think like that? It's just weird. It wasn't like, I could go to a very liberal home, it wasn't like they were hiding it for me, I wasn't going to Catholic school, I just, I don't know. And then I started having sex, and then my friends started talking about orgasms and like what the what, or,

I don't think I've had one of those, it was like if you think you have, and you'll probably have it. And then my mom was like, you should, you know, masturbate, if she's like, have you ever tried getting stoned at her? I love it, you're mom. Oh yeah, my mom's really cool.

She gave me this book called, it's called, For Yourself by Lonnie Barbuck. It's still a great classic book of you heard of that book. For yourself. Yeah. And it's, and she gave it to me. It's like, you should read this. And then all my friends would like,

be sending me like links. I'm like, I don't know, I got, like, you know, I didn't begin like a joke with my friends. And then I eventually like got there. But it just, I don't know, it's a late bloomer. So, like, now look at me, I can't stop bloomers. But Connor, so did you, what you attracted to men or women, like when did you feel that? So the porn, the interest was important came long before I knew I was really attracted

to men, right? I didn't really understand any of my attractions. And then, so I felt no shame about the porn. And then suddenly I started having feelings for guys. And then I got really ashamed because of where I grew up. So that was weird. I mean, that was a weird thing. And there was no gay porn, of course.

So I was only watching straight porn. So I was about 19 and someone gave me a gay porn. And then it was like, it was like, it was like, it was like, wow, like people do this and they enjoy it. They love doing this. And that means there's a whole world of gay men out there doing this. I can't believe this thing I'm ashamed of. So in that sense, I like to say always that like every gay porn is an it gets better video. So it's like

because gay kids in areas like that everywhere gets to see positive depictions of something that's negative. Exactly. So then when did you have your first like sexual encounter? I know my first sexual encounter before the first gay porn. Okay. I the the first first one was me and my friend had a drawing contest and whoever drew the most awesome superhero got his dick sucked by the other guy. Oh, and I was a better drawer. Of course. Yeah. Exactly. There you go. Good thing. That's the top at like age 11 or whatever. Yeah. And then, but then the first, like, sort of real, I had this neighborhood that I would hook up with a lot. And then, did anyone know, or was it like a secret?

No, and I was a jerk. I mean, because he was like, I was not a popular kid. I was like a punk rock kid. So I was like just a contentious asshole, you know what I mean? But he was like, he was just even, he was like a nobody, you know? And so I wasn't nice to him in high school. And then after school every day we would hook up. Every day, wow. And after people know in high school, like were they like, oh, like, because did girls must have, they didn't like, you know, girls

in, I was so, God, I don't understand. I was like, I have long hair in the front. I that like, I would refer along from terminator to your haircut, you know what I mean? I know we all changed. Like, if we looked at my husband's hair with the big hair, yeah, I wouldn't have been pretty. Oh my God, I want to see that. Oh my God, there actually there is one on my Instagram account. It's so not pretty. My assistant posted, I was so pissed. I'm like, my big hair. So, okay, so then that, so that was your first experience. And then you, and then how'd the point thing? Did you move to San Francisco after that? Yeah, no. I mean, I'm, so I'm 36 now. So I definitely, there was a long time.

And I just sort of like often on thought about the idea or whatever. And then yeah, it wasn't until I moved to San Francisco. I was an English professor. I mean, that's not the exact right term for what I was, but I was teaching college in English in University of Massachusetts in West New England College. And my last semester teaching,

my students are like, what are you gonna do after this? And I was like, I think we have San Francisco and be a porn star. And they were like, Professor. They just thought it was awesome. They're like, right on,

they just thought it was the coolest thing. That is so funny. So when did you move there? I'm just San Francisco in 2007. Okay. So that's, and I started very shortly after that. Okay, doing port in San Francisco, which, were you like with King.com or anything?

Are you? I've done one scene for King, but mostly, there are a lot of gay porn studios in San Francisco. A lot of, most of the straight ones are here, you know, in LA or in Las Vegas or whatever, but yeah. Okay, and so did you enjoy it right away?

Were you like an angel? I loved it. Yeah, I mean, I've been thinking about it my whole life. So what happened was I filmed a commercial for a bathhouse. They asked me to be in a commercial. It was totally crazy out of nowhere. And I did the commercial and the guys who filmed the commercial came up to me afterwards.

They're like, have you ever thought about doing porn? And I was like, have I ever had a computer? I thought about doing it. I thought about doing it. Exactly. Like what was the thing when two seconds ago? Yeah, exactly. So then we, so then, yeah, I went and it was a,

it was a orgy scene and I wasn't attracted to any of the guys at all and I still was just like electrified. Like I was like, this is exactly what I'm supposed to be. It was just obvious. So now it's almost seven years and 200 movies later. Oh my god, 200 films. What are some of your favorites? One is called, one of, an early favorite is called Blade Off. And that is, it was really great because it coincided with the 2008 financial collapse.

Oh right, there was a collapse. Yeah, it was a parody of, it was like a parody of the economic situation. Oh nice. Yeah, it was like a factory worker. And I talked too much and my co-workers got sick of me so they duct tape me to like these shipping shelves and have their way with me. That's one of my favorite. Was there ever anything important that you didn't want to do? You were like no, you do the line. No, there are some, no, because I just don't do stuff. I don't do stuff

that I haven't done in life on camera. Okay. So that's one thing and I think that's a good bit of advice. What don't you do? Oh, you want to know, let's get down to it. Well now there's not that much in the bottom. Okay. Well, I've been asked for one, like I was saying, I've been asked you straight porn and I had to say no because I've never had to do it.

Right. And no one wants to lose her virginity on camera. No. No, that's, no, never. I haven't done a lot of pain stuff. Okay. I don't do that in my life. Right, yeah, until like SNM.

No, I'm interested in exploring it, to be honest, but I've never really done it that much in life. So a little bit here and there, and it's been rough and aggressive, but that's it. And I don't know, I think that might be, it might be close. That's good. How often do you get duct- or ship yards in your life?

Good question. Exactly. I haven't. He was late because he was duct tape. I've been tied up. I've been tied up. So that's close enough. That's not to be tied up, right?

Yeah, totally. I love being tied up. I don't get tied up enough. Well, let's do it. I've got like a whole house full of bondage gear. Bondage tape. You really? Oh, yeah.

I've got a garage full of such trucks. I need someone you trust. It's very difficult. I know. Because you need someone you really trust to like, if you're going to get tied up, you're right exactly. You have five, ten minutes to see if you can even go and tie me up. Exactly. I'm too tied up to be tied up.

Exactly. That's a bummer. Well, how do you feel about sex ways? Do you use any like toys at all or plugs or rings? I've used, I've definitely used butt plugs because I wanted to be able to handle a little bit more in my life So I've carried those around inside me What kind of like what kind of I like you mean I don't brandy class ones you like are no no I just like the squeegee rubbery kind of ones because I need some leeway right exactly

Okay, I'm just curious because there's actually I was gonna talk about this some anal sex We do little sex in the news on the show. But did you see this thing on Huffington Post? I think it was today that this with this reporter for the art, you know, calisytis, a column on anal sex in the student newspaper at Washington State University continues to bounce around the web. It goes viral. It's called so her Abby student, Abby student, her real name, that's a real name, Abby student, says, takes a turn paper approach,

the subject beginning with the mentions of Robert Frost's poem about the road less traveled. It takes a pretty typical path, anal sex is more common than you think. It's been for thousands of years and here's what you need to know if you plan to engage in it. So it was all about anal sacs. And soon doesn't assert the anal sacs is sweeping the pulmonary campus,

but the Huffington Post did it. So the Huffington Post was saying it was a trend and that there's all this stuff happening about anal sacs. And the best quote comes from the student, she says, your butt has been your butt forever. And then there's like an interview with her and then Stephen Colbert did like a fun riff on it. And so, and it's funny because I love line two. So it says, yeah, this was the headline that the Offing to Post headline at the latest rage on college,

college campuses is apparently anal sex. So I think it's interesting because we always talk about this in a love line and Dr. Drew where we say, why is it all of a sudden? I always thought it was like maybe because of porn because I don't remember anal sex. Interesting was anal sex like an issue when you were like in high school like an issue. Not an issue. Did it come up? Did you try to analize a straight guy? Especially if you're in a long-term relationship. I mean it's not fair that it's right there. Every time you're going to have normal sex the butt is right fucking there. Right, but I feel like you're going to try it. You're going to want to.

It didn't even occur. Like no one even never tried tried you weren't thinking about anything till you're like 1920 But still even in my 20s, and I was eating no guy ever like set it brought up And I feel like porn has really been guys singing porn. It's like squirting too like a lot of people Yeah, well, I think women I think I think in some way like women I don't know you're because your anatomy is different because you don't have a prostate like I've sensational wise It's different for you, right? Yeah, but we kind of worry at women can't have organisms. Oh sure Yeah, it's different exactly like but I also think that the thing that's really sweeping like the trend that's really going on It is anal but it's girls fucking their boyfriends with strap-off

Exactly, I'm begging exactly and I always say to my male listeners, I'm like, you know Don't knock it to try it. I mean, I feel I've tried everything put a dick in it. I'm sorry. I said put it put it exactly Sprite. Although whatever it is. It could be a strap on whatever it is because it's amazing pleasure That so many straight men are like, oh, it's gonna be no gay or I don't want to touch it I had a bad experience one to grow put a finger mask and I'm like, what if it's like it is the male prostate? I mean, it feels amazing, right? I mean, it's not just if you're gay, straight men too, and I feel like there's legions of straight men who are completely missing out and this incredible

experience they're gonna have because they're too, like, freaked out for whatever reason. Yeah, I mean, every man has a clitoris. Right, a clitoris. Oh my god, I'm telling you both that. So, I swear to God, do you ever like the straight man's like first, like you have straight man that you're like constantly. I have sex with straight man constantly. Oh my God. And it's not, I'm not like I'm not trying to brag. I used to brag about it, but it's just I've noticed in my life that it's just happened so many times now that people who are done to try to help out with them. Oh, totally. Fuck yes. Okay. I want to do that. Do you ever buy them flowers by chance? No. But I, but I, but if, if I felt like they needed just a little comfort, I might buy them some flowers or a dildo or a bops.

Because I'm worth about flowers from it. So I this week, what my new spot to this week is books that's B-Q-S. And let's just face it, sending online flowers kind of socks. We've all been burned 1999, somehow becomes $74.50. And what shows up is not where you ordered. Mostly it's dead, and then you get spammed non-stop from these people. So the geniuses at thebooks dot com launched a whole new way to send flowers that is t-e-b-o-u-q-s dot com books because they took the bouquets and simplified them the books that comes in flowers straight from sustainable farms located an active volcano in south america sweet are they on fire when they get to your house yeah they are actually on a volcano flowers are totally on fire at a burning

blossom before burning blossom i did too i had a burning blossom before a burning blossom. I did too. Hey, the best coffee comes from the volcanic. I know. I mean, I think this is cool because they're like sustainable flowers. They charge a flat rate of just $40 with free friggin delivery. I love free delivery, by the way. Like I hate people charging me like $10 for delivery. Pisses me off.

Hey, I can speak from experience to like the 1999 thing. I've been completely burned. Yeah. Furious. And they said you wilted, wilted flowers. Oh, yeah. I got wilted flowers. And you been completely burned. Yeah, they curious and they said you will. It's wilted flowers. Oh, yeah, I got wilted flowers. And you want to tell the wife, I kind of, you don't know.

I spent 80 bucks on this and I used to. Yeah, it's always 80 bucks. So because she's familiar with the ad. She's all heard in 1999. So she thinks I'm some cheap ass. Right. I want to tell her, no, I actually ended up costing like 80. No, it always cost 80 because like my web guy had a surgery

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Send that special someone a book. Don't forget order today with promo code Emily to get 20% flowers from a freaking volcano. God damn it. And ladies, if you, uh, peg your boyfriend or husband, you can buy him flowers afterwards to continue immaculate. Just, no, I think men like flowers, don't you? You can use his anus as a vase. Oh, I want some anal sex tips. No, I'll give you an old sex tips. I actually do love getting flowers. I will say, like, I think it's very sweet and romantic. So I do too. I'm down with this guy I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I'm a man, I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things.

I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things.

I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a lot of things. I think it's a trend right now, but yeah, it's true. So you've been like a lot of straight men's first. So did they cheat on their wives or what's the deal with most of the guys? What's the profile of these men? No, I mean, I think, well, initially, the straight guys that I would mess around with were college boy, because I was in college. Right. So that just happened a lot. Like people just experimenting and sort of trying things out. You were the top. So they were not always.

Not always. Yeah. And so, but now when it happens, yeah, a lot of times it's someone who, I don't know, the profile is someone, it's hard for me to give a profile because the profile for me in mine is like someone who is excited, like a dude who's excited down someone and talked to me because dudes feel like they don't have people to talk to and they have a hard time talking to women So a lot of times I feel like guys like who are my friends who are straight? They'll have some sort of rapport with me. They'll feel comfortable around me and like I don't know if that means their wires get crossed Or like whatever it is but I mean, I don't I actually shouldn't say that way because that makes it sound like it's a bad thing

Like I think they're just like I feel affection Yeah, I think that's totally true. I think that a lot of men are shut down emotionally and you probably open up in more ways than one. Okay, so being in Los Angeles, what is, how is dating here? Well, I haven't exactly tried to date. So I broke up my last boyfriend last May.

So it's been a long time. And I haven't really wanted to be in a relationship. Yeah, right. Hooking up is easy. I mean, hookin' up, it's a pornocopia. I haven't really wanted to be in a relationship. No, right. Hooking up is easy. I mean, hook it up. It's a pornicopia. I mean, it's just like everything you want. L.A.

More than San Francisco? Yes, because you don't see the same people all the time. Like in San Francisco, you would just keep on acting. Wait, you're like, oh, God. I hate you. You'd be like, where? But L.A. is inexhaustible. So it's just like a orgasm variety, perhaps.

Exactly. Do you grind her? Yes, I do grinder. And well, mostly I do scruff. And then there's one called Mr. and Mr. is for younger guys looking for older guys. Are you like the older guy now? No, no, no. I'm the still younger.

I got it. So like I'm hanging on with like 50 year old. Like I think it's hot. I think I love it. Oh, good. They probably love hanging on with you. Because I'm sort of into tender lately. I just think it's a really easy way.

Because everyone's like Grindr, if I don't know, how do you explain Grindr? Like it's if people don't know. It started in the gay community. It was a gay app that you just, you all you have to put in like is your age range and what right? So you create a little profile. It's your picture, a few facts about yourself. And it comes up on a grid of everybody else's photos and all that kind of stuff. Who's I get into proximity? Exactly and it does it through like GPS basically so like you see who's close to you and you say hi and it works and like how you've hooked up with people from Grindr. Yeah totally. Yeah I mean I think a lot of people use it more as porn than they do

for hook up. What do you mean like they jack off to the pictures? Yeah, because you can unlock your pictures in their terms of like naked pictures. So people spend a lot of time just like surfing through it, looking at photos. Oh my God, I had no idea. Yeah. Okay, good. Well, anyway, people thought it wouldn't work for the straight community. I think Tinder's a little different.

Yeah. But it is still pretty cool. Like I'm just, I guess no, no, no, I'm just flipping it the same thing. I put in the age range I'm looking for and the proximity like in LA. I'm like two miles because I don't want to drive anywhere. you know, and then you just I mean I'm getting all these swipes, you swipe, you're like yes, no, yes, no, yes, no, and then if I like someone and they happen to like me at the same time then more a match, yeah, and it's super fun. So, so, so here you think it's better just because you don't, you don't see people. Yeah, I mean, there's just, there's a lot more options. There are, yeah, there's just, I just feel like there's so much more and you're not confronted

with like, oh, there's like, the gym and the same every single day. It's totally true. Okay, so which I like that too, by the way, because I feel like even though I've been here almost a year, I just feel like I don't run the same people. I mean, there's so many more people. Totally, totally. It's because it's like this big. Yeah. Like, I've there is so many more people. Totally. Totally. So it's not like this big.

Yeah. Like I've slept with some guy like someone calls me a guy and I slept with them or my best friends up with them or someone else said in these ideas. And that might be true in LA, but you would just never know because everybody's separated from each other. Exactly. I know. I kind of love that.

Yeah. Okay. So what else are you working on? Talk to me about this. This petition. I want to hear about that. Your censorship. Yeah. I think it's great cause. So talk to me about it. Thank you. So last week, Vine, which is an app that's owned by Twitter, Twitter decided to ban all adult content that was on Vine now. Was there a lot of adult content

on Vine? So there's short little, how do we explain Vine? It's a short little. Vine is a six second. Yeah. So if you have insta video, it's like that but you have six seconds to edit your own videos So lots of people including porn starts but lots of just amateur people were making Six-second porn videos on vine now the great thing about vine was that you can make six-second porn videos And you'd have that and then you have a video right after it that was like you go in the grocery store like dropping a peach or something like You know, so it's like as a porn star star. How does 6 seconds and 6 seconds porn, that's definitely for a while. Just a come shot.

Yeah, come shot. Yeah, but you know, lots of women you said as well. Oh, how do you jerk off to 6 seconds porn, do you think? Yeah, you just go through a lot. Yeah. So play, play, play, play. Yeah, exactly. Next, next, next.

Okay. But I think that, so the great thing about it for porn stars was that it gave you a chance to show like, and everybody, hey, hey look sex is part of life like here's my sex video here's my goofy video here's my blah blah blah blah so it was just very like I think it was just showed people's full humanity was awesome so then last week Twitter decided to ban all adult content to cut out everybody who had adult content so in other words the suspended accounts and they said that was doing one to make their users feel comfortable.

Now thousands of their users were doing this. And tons of absence. Very comfortable. Yeah, exactly. More than comfortable. Sometimes we feel more than comfortable. And so I started this petition, which is linked, I just did a blog post about it. So if you go to my website, which is Connor, we've got Connor.

Connor had beefed the spell it. Connor, CEO and an ER,, which is Connor, we have the Connor Herbieve to spell it. Conor, seal and an ER, H A B I B Connor Herbieve.com. It'll link you to a post about the petition. You can look at it. Nerve.com and sex.com and daily. I'll wrote about it. Great. So it's getting some press. And so we just really need to pick it up. I don't necessarily, I don't start the petition because I think it's going to make Twitter change its mind. I did it because I want people to see how censorship of porn is linked to this censorship and we need to draw our line in the sand and be like Whether you do this or not we're against it and you need to hear our voice. What about Twitter?

They don't ban porn do they? No, but I worry that that's gonna come right because I'd be in trouble Not that I put porn out, but I put a lot of, you know, a lot of us would be. A lot of sex content on my Twitter. That's like, that's what I do. Exactly. I mean, I think that's the big fear. So they can go to Conor B, they can sign the petition? Exactly. Well, it'll lead them to the, change the petition. To the petition. And then you also have like, oh, they're, right, all you're writing. Yeah, yeah, totally.

And then you're working on a book right now? Yes. So my book comes out later this year from Disinformation, which is sort of countercultural media company. And my book is called Remaking Sex. And it's a tour through sex and how everything we know about sex is wrong. So I go through politics, history, science, all that kind of stuff. And I just sort of unearth all these myths. Like what? Oh, getting one that we know.

Okay. What do we think is wrong? Oh my gosh. Okay. So one is, okay, so masturbation shame is a great one to talk about, right? So we were just talking about masturbation before. So I write a thing about where masturbation shame comes from

and it actually comes from this weird, not from the church, which is where we think it comes from, but this weird scientific hoax that happened a long time ago where this guy created this pamphlet saying he could cure people who had been damaged by masturbation. But he probably was a religious freak though. He used religion but he was more of just some scientist, a hoaxter, doctor guy. Okay.

So because that pamphlet sold so well, all like religious people picked it up, all these other people picked it up and it just spread out into the world. So you had like centuries of people being ashamed of masturbation. That's a real simplification but it's It's people are so ashamed about it. I mean, I wasn't ashamed about it. I just didn't do it. But there are so many people who just, I mean, because whenever I get asked by like I get interviewed by a lot of women's magazines or men, men's how like what's the, what do you think that women need to know about sex and like they need to know that they need to masturbate and men too that like that's such a women like that's how

we learn about our bodies like that's how we know it makes us feel that we're always expecting our partner to know and you know men have a little you they just kind of figure it out. Well, no, I mean, but we figure it out, but then you have shame a lot of men have shame around it. They have shame about it. We have shame about masturbating to porn. So men masturbate to I mean women like porn is like a third women consumers, right? But men masturbate to porn and they feel badly about that. So that's their version of feeling bad about masturbation. Exactly. They do. And I just I always try to tell you like it's totally normal for men to masturbate to porn. And I think a lot of women there's also misunderstanding like they don't understand like in straight couples like why their partner is masturbated porn. And I would say like it's separate. Like they could be having the best sex of a life with you, but men just still sometimes just need this release.

Women need a release too, but we might not need the visual simulation as much. Some do some don't, but it's like this whole porn thing. It's just like a lot of women are just confounded about it. Like, I don't get it. Does he want me to like have fake boobs?

Does he want me to be prettier? Am I not? Well, I mean, that's it. And then some men hide it and then they feel good, but they already put the guilty. Right. And then hiding it makes it seem like there's something wrong, which probably pisses

the partner off even more, which makes things. Exactly. I'm like, then you guys should just watch porn together, right? And also, our imaginations are pornographic. So what's the difference between imagination and being example of this? I celebrated it, I'm like, just do it, right?

Watch Connor's films, too. Do you make money from where you just pay your own money? I don't make money. I don't make money from my book. I still want you to watch them. So watch Connor be but see do list them on your website Um, my what's it is is being revamped so when you go to my website now links to my blog, but uh There is you can just google it If you see how friggin hot is we're also gonna have a little video attached this and you can work

It's just gonna be me talking to his calves Um, cuz you probably won't pull down his pants right now. Speaking of pulling down the pants of this week, we have a really big holiday coming up. I'm pretty excited. I know, right? It's called Stake and Blowjob Day. So Stake and Blowjob Day is sort of the anti-Valentine's day. Have you heard about the Sanderson?

Just to learn from you. Seriously, you've never heard about it? I got to say my favorite comedian, Bill Burr, I thought that he invented this a year and a half ago. No. He just kind of came up with it. That's been going and then you realize a few weeks later is like fuck this things are real thing It's a real thing. So it's kind of like the anti-valentity. They're like, you know I gave you flowers. I gave you roses like let's get a blowjob Do they have cards for it? I don't think that hallmark is rushing out making cards yet. No, I don't but

All Mark's our steakhouse has But, all our jobs have special problems. It's kind of a day that, you know, I guess that people should give back to their partners because of whatever. I think it's just silly and it's fun. We actually send a newsletter about it today. But what would you say then? I'm sure you've given blow jobs. You're for what?

What are the golden rules you think for giving a good blow job? Okay. We're giving a good blow job. So the one thing that people miss out all the time and it drives me crazy when I'm getting a blow job is it's called sucking a dick. So that means when you put in your mouth you don't just move your head back and forth,

you suck on it, like you're sucking, like put your finger in your mouth and suck on it, like you're sucking a nipple. That's it. You suck the dick because you have to create some sort of pressure on the penis is not just put in your mouth Right, I would have to be too loose. Yes, totally and guys do that to me all the time

So do you stop them and go? Do you give direction? I know I say it sort of mean I'm sort of like I'm sort of like suck on it suck it harder, you know like I'm telling you Right, but you think every man wants out like if we're talking about like women we're giving women tips to like Do you think every guy wants it So I think every man wants out, like if we're talking about like women, we're giving women tips to like, do you think every guy wants it? I think every man might want to experience. Right. So like a bad bloat. Yeah, like what Harrison, like what would you say that women were that I know you're married before that?

And for your wife gives the best blow jobs in the world. But before that, what was like a really bad blow job experience? What was she doing? So not her. No, not live. Of course you married her because because it's like that. Like when you like, don't like the teeth. The teeth are like the big one.

And then you learn that in blowjob school 101. Unless you're an amputee, usually there's a couple hands. You got a couple hands. Use the other hand. Mine play page 10. For the balls, the balls. Yeah, I feel like balls. Do you feel like all men like their balls play with or not?

Do you think it's kind of like a very in degrees? I mean, some guys don't have sensitive balls. Some guys don't have sensitive, like really sensitive, right? Right, totally, but you, but the balls, I mean, for me, if someone just like sucks it, like they're trying to suck something out of like a straw in a heart, so they have to,

it's a very sensitive, but some guys can just be like pulled, like, you know, like they're trying to pull them off. Right, like they're like, so just pay attention to your partner. Exactly. And listen. Yeah, exactly. So just pay attention to your partner. Exactly. And listen to the communication watch. What they want. Watch it.

OK. So speaking of balls, I bought you a little present here, which is going to go really well. It's kind of a side dish for sake and blow job. Right. It's called down under comfort. Uh-huh. And it's for my new product line, Emily and Tony, which

you can get, Emily and Tony.com. And it's sort of a revolutionary product, because it's for, it's for your downhounders it's for men and for women but it started out like a lot of men as you know use talking powder or they you know anything but it's kiki it's also carcinogenic and a lot of men don't use anything and they think I'm fresh I'm dry I shower this morning I'm totally fine but they're not right have you ever heard of the guy and you're like what why like hygiene is like like like you just mean ball like all our balls think yeah yeah do you have that a lot and you're like, why, like hygiene is like? Like, like you just mean ball, like all our balls stink.

Yeah. Do you have that a lot? Do you fight? Not you don't. Right. Dude, you don't. But have you been with a guy and like, you're just like, why are you sure?

Sometimes, sometimes you'll like this male and a lot of times you will not like that smell. Right? At all. Okay, so I invented a deodorant for your balls for your downhunners and I want you to feel this so it's a It's it's cream to a powder formula. I'm gonna put a little in your hand and just rub it in and you'll see You'll see it's on my balls

My hands right now, but we'll put in your balls after for the video So if you see it turns into a powder so you keep rubbing it around Yeah, and it's like a light fresh citrusy scent and you will not sweat down there You'll be Rocket scientists is it? I'm a rocket scientist. So women can use it down there. So you don't have to worry. Let's say all of a sudden, you're like, have a hot date that night. And you're like, Oh, no, I'm, you know, I need to clean up. You're still it's deodorant for your

downhounders. How's it work? How's that stuff? It's like the chocolate. Remember the chocolate chocolate and it turns to hard. Yeah, it reminds me of that. Because it has which hazel. It's all vegan ingredients. So it's witch hazel, which is a natural antiperspirant. No, it is. And we have, it's tapioca powder. And it's all natural ingredients

that act as a natural deodorant. It's a cream formula that turns into a light natural powder to keep your intimeres freshened dry. And the ingredients are, yeah, it's tapioca powder, it's got which hazel. Again, that's a natural and a persprem, but it's not. I feel like the entire state of Florida should buy it. Right?

Everyone in the summer. Because you just got the swampy balls. Hey, swamp balls, they're the worst. So Emily and Tony go to Emily and Tony.com, use coupon code Emily and you get 20% off and you'd be supporting me in my life and I can do a podcast for you every single day if you buy something. And it'll change your life and your partner because hygiene is actually the number one complaint that men and women have about their partner. Really? Yeah, hygiene. Like hygiene. Like they're just not

cleaning. They're not like anything. Yeah, totally. Totally. Like a total buscale. So. Yeah, can you put it under your arms? You can. You can. I mean, it's not as strong as a deodorant, but you totally kind of like Mike Catherwood who's the host of on He uses it the jail you'll like that's he uses because he chafes at the gym. Yeah, yeah, so if you were chafed It's great for that. Yeah, it's kind of and it can be used as dry shampoo. It's kind of a miracle That's awesome. I know like everyone to use you probably is on your feet if your feet sting exactly I have like my pregnant friend. She's probably like use your feet. You could use it everywhere Everybody has a part of their body that stinks. Exactly. That's your present, honey. Thank you.

Remember when you gave it to that porn star a few months ago on air? And she, I, Connor, I thought she was going to cry. She was so happy. I'm going to put those on every single guy that I have to do the same way. I was like, were you putting on every porn set in the world? Because she was so happy. I guess that her life was hell on set. Right. Because what do you do? Right?

I mean, she actually should just put it on the inside of her nose. That's what I said. I little lamb exactly but it smells good too because it's just that's the thing it's just for rich for men and for women so it's a good thing yeah so I think you should I love that I'm so excited yeah I also massage candles to you I'll give you that one we get together of the gym we're gonna work out together I want to be a strong and I want to be I want to be she's trying to take your v card but what no he brought it up. What do you feel about hand job is because when I did this show for a long time with menace, he's like a

coast in San Francisco. It actually just moved people. If you've listened to shows with menace and I have done 2000 shows, he actually just moved to LA. We had a lot of yesterday and we're going to start doing shows together again. Anderson also be doing shows with you. He's adorable. Did you meet him? No, I've never met him. Oh, but he's so cute. So we were talking. So years ago, three years ago, this debate. And I was like, I want to bring the hand job back. I feel like hand jobs. Maybe it's everything with men gay community. But like, we used to have a hand job before the blow job and like men still like finger women. So now I'm not saying replacing the blowjob, but I think a handjob, even though men are so used to give it to themselves, if you use two hands and lots of loob, can't it feel good? Do you understand that? So I'm gonna make a joke and then we're gonna go on.

Because I always say that the secret to a good hand job is a blowjob. But, but I will jump past that because I was, yes, sure, like getting a handjob is also a pleasure of all. You have to know what you're doing. And I think one of the big things is that people will have part of their hand lubricated and part of it not.

So like, especially right here, like between your thumb and your forefinger gets to be like a trouble area. So you have to just keep constantly lubricated. Also not everybody does like loops. So guys who are on circumcised very often, they don't like the, no no because they have their force again They can pull over the top of their penis. How do you feel about on circumcised penises? Because we actually had an email from a listener about it that I was going to oh gosh

It's such a complicated issue that lots of people like get really upset about because they are anti circumcision I think it's a complex issue I think ultimately people who think that we shouldn't be mentioned be circumcised are probably right. On the other hand, I have grown up circumcised. So I'm used to seeing penises that are circumcised into me that's now become part of my sexual aesthetic. So it's difficult for me to just speak out against it. Right, you can't, I mean, do you think that people, do you feel like, what would you be with someone who was, like, you have probably have been?

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It doesn't like, but- No, I don't have, no, I don't have anything against or for on circumsize sex. Right, exactly. Okay, because I'm trying to find this email, which I think I have a stake to read. Anyway, the guy was worried about it,

and he was like, what are women gonna think? Is it bad? Is it an hazy? That he was on circumcised. Yeah, he was on circumcised and he was like, really? Just tell him to join most of the world. I mean, most of the world is, it's true. But he's encountering this culture where people expect circumcision.

So I think, I mean, I've been with men, it's about, I mean, I don't know if it shouldn't be. There are more risks to be more clean, you know, leaner down there and take care of yourself, but like, you know, it happens. Yeah, I mean, I think also, you know, the only thing I know a few people who have to be circumsized as adults because their foreskin started to construct their penis head. So then they lost sensitivity in adult life, which was very difficult for them.

But I think in general, most guys, it's like, there's not, there's no significant difference. Right. Exactly. Exactly. So people should have a sensation. Yeah. And apparently it feels much better. Yeah, it does. How was you ever know? Well, I mean, I was like like track versatile. I wanted penis for a day, but then I would like an on circumcised penis for a day I can tell you I'm in between I have what some people call a French cut Which means I have a lot I have a little bit of foreskin So well, they just the way they circumcised me. There's still left some skin I don't know if it was intentional or not. But so I can still pull the four skin up over the top of the head of my penis, but it looks uncircumcised. I mean, it looks

circumcised all the time. So that, and I will say that that part of my penis is extremely sensitive. Okay. So in a good way. So you kind of do have the best. I do. You kind of know whatever one's talking about that That is so freaking interesting. I have another question. If you're between our winner and the end of the Cheeto winner, you've got an oddity to talk. You've got all these great things. What about men who, like, do you have men who,

let's just say premature ejaculators, or can't last long, don't last as long as you'd like? Does that happen as much in the gay community now? I haven't experienced it that often to be honest. Okay. I'm curious. It's just an issue that people have. Well, I actually was just, my friend actually was just a woman was dating someone who

was a premature ejaculator. And I was trying to like come up with tips for what she could do. Right. And it was difficult because I think, you know, I'm obviously psychological in a lot of ways. It is like a lot of ways. It is like a lot of it. Yeah, and so you, so how do you intersect with that person's cycle? I mean, it's hard to get broad advice for something like that.

Right. Well, I was going to say also another one of our sponsors that I have to give a shout out to is, is, is ProMessent. You've heard me talk about them before and they're the only FDA treatment for premature ejaculation. It's a mild spray that you put on your penis and it actually makes you stay harder longer. And it's not even if you're premature ejaculate or like it's a lot of men and women, there's like orgasm gap like men can orgasm like four to six minutes, when it's like 20 minutes. So if it's it's the use absorption technology and they provide superior ejaculation control with great sensation for the man and unnoticeable transfer to the woman when you spray it so you stay harder longer.

It's cheaper than coke, right? Because that's what we used to use. Oh, yeah, you see a coke, but then you can't ejaculate. Why don't you put the coke on your penis? I'm going to give you a bottle of Pro Mass and Anderson, it'll change your life. I don't need it. I just heard people. Oh, you're totally fine. Your sex life is perfection. I always sit at the coke with the nose. Oh, I got it. Oh, you're fine. You're totally fine. Your sex life is perfection. I always get to the coke with the nose. Oh, I got it. Okay.

Coke is that there's a lot of drugs on porn sets and stuff. No, that's such a mess. Yeah, there aren't. Yeah, I know. Sorry to say. I mean, it's difficult to perform. The drug that porn stars use more than any other drug is steroids. Yeah, that's true. Right. But not you don't, you don't see a lot of drugs. What about the other myth, the the fluffer myth? Do they have that in the case? Not anymore. I mean, they, they, they, why you don't you don't see a lot of what about the other myth the the fluffer myth do they have that not any more I mean they they why you don't need it because we will use Viagra or Seattle is a right primex or cover Jack okay so much out that what's the action you injected into your deck oh oh yeah have you done it no no you don't need to I don't need anything I don't need anything I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything.

I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything.

I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything.

I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need a bag. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even need anything. I don't even, like, via her at least intersects with, like, your desires and the things that turn you on. But then, Cabbage Act is just like sticking a mannequin's dick. It's like, you buy it, like, people get out of the car. I don't know that it's legal.

Yeah, exactly. That's the point. That's the point, I don't know. Okay, so everyone to check out Codder-Habib, it's co-n-c-o-n-n-e-r-h-a-b-i-b.com, but also at Codder-Habib on Twitter. That's right, and on Patty's blog, starting next week. Right. So it's called patty knows

we dot com. We both write for Patty Stinger who's a million our matchmaker. If you don't know she is. And it's going to be every Monday. Yeah. For now. Cool. And also it's going to be ready for me. But we need to that's right. We're we're going to

talk about it. No, because it also went to check out our website because I've got so much information. I was just voted glamour glamour magazine UK called me this morning that they voted me when the top eight sex website, sex and information website. That is so awesome. I know.

In the world, and they were like, we love your website, we love your website, they didn't even know I apodca. I'm like, no, I have a podcast. So actually, I like it a lot, and I don't know this, but I do provide content every day on my website, videos and blogs and all that stuff you should check out because I think it's really lovely lot of things. And officially now, you're glamorous. I'm glamorous.

I'm glamorous. I'm glamorous and glamorous, exactly. And sometimes I try to be glamorous at my moments. So thank you so much, Connor, for being on the show. I really appreciate it. Thank you. We're going to do a little video now. You're going to put some down under on your balls.

Oh, my down under. You cool with that? Okay. Just kidding. Let's do it. Oh, yeah. You would do that. But I think on YouTube, we can't do that. No, you can on YouTube. But I can stick it down my pants.

I can just take, oh, we'll do a demo. We'll have demo. This is perfect. OK, Anderson. Drew can inject your deck. I can't do it. I can't do it. Drew inject some stuff.

No, he wouldn't do it. He's standing there with a giant syringe. Oh god, no, I'm not going to get involved with my craziness. Okay, everyone, thanks so much. Check me out on Facebook and Twitter, Instagram, sex with Emily, and thanks so much for listening to the show. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Sex toys aren't just for women. Go to sexwithemily.com slash flesh light to discover the best sex toys for men. The flesh light. A lot of guys say it feels even better than sex and it helps build stamina, meaning it will last longer in bed. Go to sexwithanley.com slash flesh light to see my flesh light recommendations and get one tonight.