Sex With Emily - SWE: The Bush is Back

Episode Date: April 11, 2012

Emily has intense commitment issues with making weekend plans.Sharing your past sexual exploits with your current partner, cradling your clitoris, and having messy sex without a laundromat nearby. Barbie Davenporte, writer for LAWeekly's sex blog AfterDarkLA shares her biggest anal sex tip, the top five condoms people don't know about, getting painted nude, homemade masturbation devices and pubic hairstyles. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes Then the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our secret institutions Betruma eyes they call them a bio Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here He just got his heart broken he thinks you're kind of cute girls got a hair stand Oh my the women know about shrinkage isn't it common? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks and we not talk about sex so much are you kidding me? You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexwithemily.com where you're sex life will certainly improve when you go there and You'll listen to all of our shows read our blogs get sex tips and just have better sex because isn't that what you want? You do want to have better sex because you can always have better sex So thanks everyone for listening you can follow us on Facebook and Twitter sex with Emily and Instagram sex Emily and all that fun stuff I'm here with the white menace and you can follow him all those places, the white menace. Hello. Or not the white menace, but white menace.

I'm great, how are you? I'm good, I actually, I don't know if I even told you this yesterday, but I actually booked two Vegas shows back to back. Okay, so which one do you want me to go to? Yeah, about that. I'm gonna be busy. What are you going for?

First one just to meet up with radio friends and then the next weekend right after the Billboard Music Awards It's gonna be okay cool. I wish you I didn't have to go both weekends But I can you give me crap the whole time I was going to Vegas that I wasn't bringing you now You're like I've got two chips, but oops. Sorry. You can't go. Yeah, cuz you didn't invite me on your trip I was going to for work other stuff that didn't include you. Mm-hmm What happens my mom wants to come visit May 18th invite me on your show. I was going to for work, other stuff that didn't include you. Mm-hmm. What happened? My mom wants to come visit May 18th. She was just talking to me on the phone about it.

Oh, man, I can be here. Really? Is that when you're going to Vegas? Yeah, I'll be there. Vegas. Sorry. She's stressing me out. She wants to come visit, which is so nice,

because we love my mom, but it's like she's making me commit to a weekend, and I don't know what my life is going to be because it's so crazy right now. What? It's just your mom coming for the weekend. What's a big deal? You love your mom? I love my mom. I'm just I'm I'm I don't like committing I've come in a few yeah, I'm committing I don't commit anything and I don't commit to plans Whatever, but you're gonna be going to just yeah, yeah, we're gonna go to a spot It'll be fun. I'll need it before the crazy stuff going down. And then not to bag on my friend, but I also had a book

and another trip too. I had a book like three trips. And I'm going to San Diego for a bachelor party. San Diego. Right, why not Vegas? I don't know. San Diego, San Diego is nice. I mean, I don't get me wrong.

I love San Diego. San Diego is amazing. Right. But why? What do you do there for a bachelor party? I don't know. We drink, it'll be alcohol, you'll be fine. Yeah.

I mean, I booked a room at the hard rock, but I just, I don't know, man. That's you just hang out in San Diego, be fun. The boy's drinking and- Yeah, but it just feels like I could just do the same thing here if I'm not going to Vegas. I don't know, is your friend from San Diego? No.

He's from America. He's from Alaska. Tell him that you should tell him- I tried to pressure to pressure don't like do let's just go to Vegas I don't go so you will not have the white man is at your party But I think it's because him and I maybe had a bad experience last time I went to Vegas. Oh, what'd you do? We went I I didn't bring I didn't bring Santa the beach, but he did he brought a girl friend Right, he brought a girlfriend to Vegas. Yeah, his friend brought a girlfriend too I was the only one that did not bring girlfriend and I had a girlfriend at Oh, never do that, right? He brought a girlfriend. Tobagus? Yeah, his friend brought a girlfriend too. I was the only one that did not bring a girlfriend

and I had a girlfriend at the time and she was pissed but I said, you know what, I'm not gonna get in take you with me. You can't bring, right? To go party, right? So we ended up telling the girls, like, oh, we'll meet up with you around 10 o'clock, right? And we ended up going out all night

and didn't get back to the hotel, probably tell 9am. Okay. And these chicks were... I'm sure they were. They just blew off his girlfriend all night. Yeah, because she dumped us. She dumped us all the time.

They ended up breaking up eventually. Yeah, eventually. Yeah, don't bring girlfriend Vegas. It's either in today's show. Our guest today on the show is Barbie Davenport. She's a writer for the Village Voice's Village Voice media sex blog and afterdarkl.com. And we're going to talk to her a little bit about sexual exploits, toys, all those fun things. So we're glad that she's here with us today. She was on the show.

She was on the show a few weeks ago, right? A few weeks ago, Barbie? Yep. Yep. She talked all about her crazy sex stories. So she got more. So I was like, you got to come in and share more. I feel weird because I don't know if I can say this, but somebody else is in the room And it's weird that she's sharing all these stories. That's all I gotta say. Why is that weird? So this would be weird sharing all these stories. No, that's what she does for a living open communication He shares them with me. I share him with him. Oh, it's her boyfriends in the room. Yeah, I love it. They're open They're cool. I love to get him on to share one of his stories that doesn't involve me and see how comfortable I am

Yeah, would you be would you become? I hear them all that I tell the stories I love to get them on to share one of his stories that doesn't involve me and see how comfortable I am. Yeah, would you be, would you become, I hear them all, I tell the stories. No, I don't just say, I'm on, I'm not, I'll talk like a lot of ladies are. That's interesting because a lot of couples say, I always think that you shouldn't share your past sexual exploits with your partner because they just can't get the image of you with another penis out of their mind. That happens for sure. And it's not something that I've been able to do with all kinds of partners.

Right, just this one's special. The ones that seem to matter and be really cool. I wanna make sure that we have that open. Yeah, it's important. But why do Windows and Bwinga and Dislater, that is a good point. When is it important to share? What kind of information should you share with your ex?

Cause I feel like there are some guys I did, that they wanna know everything. And then there's other ones that like I don't even want to know that you've ever I don't want to know nothing you don't have to tell me anything I want to know all my stories I want to think that you're actually I'm actually the first boyfriend you ever had yeah exactly if we were right I get what you're saying I don't care how old are you you right I'm your first boyfriend exactly you don't want to know things like that okay today's show is brought to you by Jimmy Jane.

Use coupon code spring for $25 off purchases, $100 or more. You can visit my Emily's picks page to find my favorite Jimmy Jane products. I love the Form 2 and Barbie. I love the Form 2. You're a Form 2 fan too, right? What do you love about the Form 2?

Oh, it's super powerful, right? And those little finger things to sort of like cradle your clip. Exactly. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air.

And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air.

And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. And I say cradle on the air. Yeah, which is pissing. They have amazing candles. You gotta use that shit. You won't use it, because his bed's gonna get messy. You gotta get a fascinating throw from another company out there. Yeah, honey. Keeps everything clean.

I told them about the throws. I'm like, you just need a throw. You're amazing. You pick it up and then you give sex to someone else the next night and pick that up. That's so much work. Not at all, you unfold things. If that's too much work, you gotta reevaluate life.

It's just too much work. It's just too much work to do. You're just with some messy, messy women maybe, but sex is messy, honey. Messy is fun. Messy is fun, but he's not okay with it. I have to walk down flights of stairs to go to the luxury. Oh, you're right.

Oh, man. I have a live a washer jar in my apartment. You're right. That is, I'm superior. I mean, if I have a woman that's willing to wash that stuff for me, then probably wouldn't mind. Then I'll throw the Freaking wax all over the the goddamn house. It will just my house would just be covered in it, right?

But she can clean it about there. Yeah, it's fine. Make the deal give her a massage and have a clean up. It's done It's easy. Okay, we've got some sex in the news for you today look like a Mickey Ricky Martin video up in there Exactly. Okay, Demi Moore whatever that means Demi Moore is still texting sexy picks to Ashton. Word on the concept field street is that Demi Moore never read the statute of limitations clause of the international sexting roles. And it's causing problems for Ashton and the new gal pal Rihanna. I guess he's eating Rihanna. Not the Rihanna, some blonde chick.

So Roses are saying that Rihanna found a lot of sexy near-naked pictures. Demi texted Ashton after the breakup. Some blonde chick. Sources are saying that Rihanna found a lot of sexy near naked pictures, Demi texted ash in after the breakup. That's sad. Was it from rehab when she was sitting there not drinking or something? I don't know. She's definitely going through a hard time through this breakup. That's kind of hard.

Yeah. Why are you making fun of her? I'm not making fun of her. You just made a comment about how she was in rehab and then I was sad. I just wanted to work on herself and just to get over him because he's not really gonna be the guy for her. You just gotta move on. It's easy to see.

Life's true, okay. You think it was just the age difference that probably just broke up everything? I think that's probably part of it, but I don't think that's the whole reason why they broke up. I'm sure there's lots of other issues. What do you think? I think it was the age difference. I think he still thinks he's... Barbie. I don't really know lots of other issues. What do you think? I think it was the age difference.

I think he still thinks he's... Barbie. I don't really know, to be honest. I feel like maybe he made her feel really young and she made him feel richer. Yeah. Yeah. That's all he did last very long after. Yeah. Because now he got two and a half men and he's making enough money.

Yeah, it's true. He made enough. That's so sad. So there's an example of a guy leaving a woman who makes a lot of money after the... I'm not saying it doesn't happen. Okay. Menace thinks that everyone... But they were both famous, this not my example. I always say if there's a couple that are in Hollywood,

right, they're both maybe equally as famous, not super famous. If a girl gets a bigger role, automatically, they're gonna break up. Same thing with McCulley Culkin, McCulley Culkin and Meal Acunis. Once she did Black Swan and started getting all this attention immediately, they were together like six years. But I don't think he's like every woman's gonna like dumb forgot.

They always do. They always do. Jennifer Gardner did that with her husband. She left whatever guy. He was like some actor on some TV show. Left him once she blew up and got with Ben Affleck, I can give you an entire... I understand what you're saying.

I just don't agree. In a timeline. I'm gonna think it happens. I think it happens, but it's not like it always happens. Like just like men leave women for, you know, when they get older and they leave them for younger women and all that. But I like it. It's okay to have a theory or a lot.

Katy Perry stumbles upon Brussels brand's air sex videos. The Japanese trend air sex in which clothes participants videotaped themselves having sex with imaginary partners has officially made its way stateside with Katy Perry uncovering a stash of DVDs of her ex-husband solo performances. Thankfully she did the decent thing and nailed them back to him or maybe vivid wasn't ready to branch out into the celebrity air sex tape market. That happens here. Do you know that? Yeah, the guitar air guitar.

So he's making ears. No, no, they have the sex version too. Oh, no, I didn't know that. Yeah, they have it here. Heavy Ben. It's very popular. No, I've seen videos of it though. It's hilarious.

Is it? I'm sure it is. Okay, Miss Universe opens competition to transgendered contestants. Okay. That's a big deal. Well, it's a... Well, it's a... ...I'm sure it's a... ...I'm sure it's... ...I'm sure. Turned out to be a transgendered woman soon, at least from the Miss Universe contest,

which she owns. The contest decision is related to the case of Jenna Takalogga-Gabova, whatever, a Miss Universe hopeful from Canada. Originally, the organization was only going only to her to complete, but now it's open to all transgendered women. Read her name slowly, her first name. Very soon. T'lac, her first name. Very soon.

T'laka Kova. No. T'laka Kova. T'laka Kova. No, it was a... It was genitalia or something like that. No, that's not what it is. No way.

It's rare, look. I just watched it on TV last night. Well, you heard something different. And Trump was like breaking it down. He was like, oh yeah, her first name is Genitalia, which is pretty funny. Jenna, oh, I see it's Jenna, I got it. Okay.

Yeah, Genitalia. So he goes, I don't know if this is a joke or if they're being real or whatever, but it's not actually the US version, it's a Canadian version. Right. And then the Canadian rules, it doesn't say that Transgender cannot

participate. Transgender to people I know in San Francisco, they'd be awesome in the machine version. Oh yeah, good to go. There's a place here in San Francisco called Asia SAF, which is a restaurant that has performers of transsexuals and you will not be able to tell the difference at all. Exactly. That they're actually men. Exactly. So I think that's fine. I love it. Let's open up everything in the world. Okay, let's move in some emails.

All right, what do you guys? All right, so thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback. It's section of the Emily.com. You can go to our website. You can email us for the Ask Emily section or you can just send me it to feedback or Facebook or Twitter or whatever you want to do. Emily, medicine the crew.

Hey guys, first of all, I'm super pumped for the Bravo show. I've told everyone about it, even my moms. Even my moms, he's got two moms. I've been a listener for about six months now, friends with benefits number two, and I'm really attached to the show. It's super entertaining. You've also sent me your book,

which is awesome, by the way, I love it, and thanks for the condoms and lube too. Oh, he was one of the winners of our contest. Anyway, I'm actually emailing tell you that you've inspired me to form my own podcast about food and nutrition and health and culture. I'm a nutrition dietetics major in college of Minneapolis and I'm going to start one with a friend.

If you have any tips or anything that would be cool, if you let me know, menace, I could use your audio skills. But you guys are awesome. Even inspiring so much. All right, and help me grow sexually. You're the best. Keep working hard. If you have any starting tips, please let me know.

If not, that's cool too. I know you're all busy as balls. CM Mike experiment. Yeah. That's nice. He likes to show. He's inspired. He's on podcasts.

Do it. Just start doing it. You just start supporting the podcast. Yeah, you can. You can download a program for auto recording. It's called Adobe Audition. It's pretty cheap. It's like 80 bucks.

Right. Easy. You can use that. And then make sure you use compressed audio. That's a big deal. And then, yeah, that's pretty much it. Pretty much it. I just started my life in your room. Like seven years ago, just talking to invite people over

you and the interview and you just don't obsess that it's perfect. That's the thing with art. You always think it's going to be perfect. Like if you're writing or doing a show, you're like, it's going to be perfect, perfect. It's never is. It's never going to be like what you think.

You just gotta post it and do it. It's our doing it and repetition and keep doing it over and over again and then seven years go by and you're sitting here staring at Matt Estelle. Talk about it. He was talking about the Bravo show. Have you been getting people tweeting you

that they've seen the promo? Yeah, and they come, played it on a show. Yeah, people are like tweeting me saying, I'm gonna say, I saw it. Yeah, it's crazy. My hell, it's crazy. Yeah, a lot of people have telling me that they've seen it. Yeah, we still don't know when it's gonna air.

We don't know. I think July I've heard and then I heard September. Then I heard June. I have no idea. But it's gonna be awesome because we're on it and we recorded it for two months and we couldn't tell anyone about it but now we're allowed to tell everybody.

Cool. People have told you that they saw you said they're texting. Yeah, cool. And then check out what's cool about have told you that they saw you said they're texting. Yeah cool and then Check out what's cool about it is like that promo that's been playing that's flowing around the internet. There's five different Shows right all composed into this promo, but you guys are the only ones that have a website on the oh really? On the problem. That's so interesting. Did you see it Barbie? Do you see the promo? I haven't seen it. There's a promo We did it. we did a reality show

yeah i know about that i'm just a big thing yeah but the i'm too but the website's really cool they have bios bios yeah missus vice go to bravo tv dot com search misadvised and you will two words and you'll see it yeah it's cool good times okay Emily it was great to me you at shays party in in Vegas paul in Vegas, Palms party. We talked about me recently being in lesbian relationships, we'd love to talk further about hitting 26 and switching it up. Email me.

Liz from Los Angeles. Do you know Liz in Los Angeles? I know a lot of Liz is in Los Angeles. She used 26, we were talking, she's dating women now, she's super cute, and she was once talked more. You just seriously asked her if she knew a Liz in Los Angeles.

I'm just kidding. She's just kidding. I asked her if she knew a Liz in Los Angeles. I'm just kidding. She's just kidding. I mean, did she might know a Liz in Los Angeles, who's 26 and you know I want to stay checked? You've dated chicks, right? You've done that. Actually, haven't dated chicks. They drive me a little bit too crazy,

but I've been interested. They're insane, right? I just really like men a lot. You like men, I know. I prefer the whole masculine thing, so I really like dyke chicks, honestly. But for the most part, I like the dangly bits. Right, right, okay, good.

I've found out that you said a righteous email or back and see what she wants to talk about. Maybe she wants to call and talk about switching it up. Cool. Okay, let's get. We're going to talk to Barbie now. All right. Okay, Barbie. Yes. What's up? So Barbie Davenport writes for the Village Voice

Media Sex Blog afterdarkla.com. Yep. And then anything else on the other websites that we need to know about? That's pretty much what I stick to. Okay, and what did you write about? Everything else. Honestly, all kinds of things. There are a bunch of other writers that write with me.

And everything has to do with sex or pop culture. Sometimes it's like sex ed stuff, a little bit more technical. Okay. Dr. Ruth style with like proper vagina terminology. Though I like saying pussy a lot. Right. Who doesn't? Who doesn't like saying pussy, but I know I say vulva. If I'm getting technical, I say vulva. Yeah. Vulva for the full blown thing. That piss is not for the entryway. It's not sexy, right?

It's not sexy and then you have to explain it because the general public is not going to be like, oh, what's a vulva? But that's why we're trying to change their minds. We want the general public to know. Exactly. It's the long run. Because I went to sex school, I'm getting my doctorate in human sexuality right now. Awesome.

And I hit a bunch of my friends in classmates in the studio and they kept saying vulva, what's the hell are you talking about? Like that's what I've learned to say to say vulva the whole thing. OK, so one of your blog posts was top bikini wax trends, hint, hair, which are back. Yeah, they are, yeah. I'm sorry, all the ladies who are cleaning your apartment after having sex, do they have full bushes?

No, they don't. But I have real vaginoscis. No, I've had a conversation about this, and yeah, it is coming back. It is coming back. Oh my God, we should do something. But it's just kind of like waxing and shaving. And it's like grow. You can keep a tame. It's just like rebellion though.

I'm just doing it just because, you know, it's because it's an itches. It's a woman. The woman's a girl in the vulva. The women that I talk to. They, yeah, they're just like, they're just doing it to like, spite people How does pubic hair spite anybody yeah exactly you know The men the majority of men I talked to they prefer not to

To what about tram. What about a little bit of hair. That's fine. Whatever. I'm but you know when you have a wear wolf down there Right, yeah, then what are you talking about? Like having pubic hair rather than being completely shaped clean like a 12-year-old. Okay, then how much pubic hair? They're all different kinds. That's where the trend thing came from. People now like to have bush on the front

and they have different shapes and the different ways that they tame it to keep it under control, but still keep their vulva's warm. No. Keep your vulva warm because then your vulva gets freezing. Vulva vulva. So what are some of the trends that you're saying? They're like designs, like the jazzling, like what's up? Yeah, some people actually really like to do shapes

and they'll come in. I asked one of my, she's my esthetician, but she also does a lot of people, including porn stars. They come in, they want hearts, they want circles, and then some just want something that's a little bit more closer to what's there naturally, but then just tamed more. Something called the oblong natural, I think she called it, which is really just how it already is kind of in a triangular shape, but then instead of like pointy angles and going on to the legs, it's, you know, toned down.

So there's strip of skin between where the hair starts and where your leg starts. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's cool. And the strip is still there. The Hitler mustache, whatever you want to call it. Those are still popular. But for the most part, we're noticing, when you look head on at a woman and her vulva, you see more hair in the front

than ever before. And for the most part, they like it cleaned up on the actual like labia, which makes sense because it's easier to go down on a chick when there's not a whole lot of hair in the way. Just like sucking balls is easier when there's no hair there. Exactly.

Right, you can see. Oh yeah, you gotta, you know, you gotta maintain. You gotta maintain, exactly. We maintain, we do it. Okay, so what are some other things that you're working on? Any stories, anything fun that you're working on? Yeah, something I'm working on right now, a top five list of condom brands that a lot

of people don't know about, but totally should. Condoms are not the most desirable prophylactic usage, whatever, and we're not going to lie about that. We're also not going to lie about how important it is to use them anyway, who the fuck cares, honestly. We're also not gonna lie about how important it is to use them anyway, who the fuck cares honestly But there are some brands out there that are just lesser known But are thinner they have some flavors. They've got some colors really cool packaging because honestly at the end of the day a condoms a condom see their made of latex or polyester preiner something and It's all about how they sort of package it and brand it and that makes it a little bit more fun to go shopping for them and to open them and try to use them. So there's one brand called Billy Boy that has fun colors and cool packaging.

There's another one condoms and Sir Richards condoms, their packaging is really cute. And they're both philanthropic companies. So every time you buy a condom, a condom is donated elsewhere into Haiti or anywhere over there's AIDS issues. So you're kind of doing your part while you're also doing parts for your parts? Okay. Do you like to punch your parts? I'm sure.

Exactly. There's a good thing. I might not do it for condoms. You were just talking about the other day, there was this iPhone case that carries a condom. Yeah, there's no iPhone case. I haven't done that. It's an app with condom case,

so you don't drop it out on the student drop it when you pull your wallet or whatever. Yeah, that's great. You need to get that one. Okay, so what about some of your crazy sex stories? You shared some, but is there anything new that you'd like to share? Any other stories that we didn't get to? Because we didn't get to all of them, of course.

I'm sure you don't have like hours. That's true. I haven't gotten to all of them. What, I'm trying to remember which ones I already shared. You told me by a three-some with a gay guy and an engaged dude. Yes, that's possible. That was fun. And then the porn star blowjob. Yes, that was fun. And then the porn star blowjob.

Yes, that was a good one. Oh, that's funny. Let me ask you about LA dating because I always ask people that live in LA because there's a lot of transplants from in the Bay Area that go to LA. And I mostly know women. So they tell me it is just a struggle. It is. Because they said anybody that's doing their current job

the same working at Starbucks, they don't wanna work at Starbucks, they wanna be the same actor, the stereotype. They wanna be actor, so all their attention is outside of work is focusing on what they wanna be instead of the relationship. Do you find that true? Well for the most part, it really kinda depends.

Unfortunately, I'm no longer on the dating scene, so few of the holy crap. I mean, it was really bad. I mean, for the most part, what I've found, and this is, I guess, a generalization of who the fuck cares. People come to LA with some sort of a mission or a destination.

They're not quite sure what they want, but they want to find themselves or where they need to be. And they will do whatever it takes to get there, whether it means fuck a whole lot of chicks or pretend to be someone else or work real hard and do it the right way or give lots of BJs, whatever.

Right. A lot of the guys, they're there, they're not quite sure what they want to do, but they see other people who have made it. And so they kind of followed that path. And it's all really just a facade, it's all BS. No one really knows who's successful and who's not. Right, exactly.

You can lease a car and be in debt. You can have a cute girlfriend and not actually have sex with her. She could just be there with you at dinner to make you look cool. So for the most part, there's this weird trend where guys start acting the same way and treating chicks sort of just like temporary stepping stones to get to where they want to be. And it's really hard to find someone who's just a real fucking genuine human being. Yeah, are you originally from Los Angeles?

No, I'm from New Hampshire. Oh, really? Yeah, I did not come to LA with some sort of goal. I just hated the snow and knew I would be great as a California girl. Exactly. Yeah, that's really cool. Yeah, that is cool.

So how did you get into the sex writing? I've always been interested and wrote about it when I was in journalism school. And when I came out here, I was a fashion writer for a little while. And one day I had an assignment where I had to write about how cool sketchers were and my soul died. And I realized I need to move out of here. Sketchers aren't cool.

I don't know how they, I don't understand it. Why are they so big? I don't even spend a lot of money and hired like, you know, Brittany and then what are other blonde girl Still doesn't make them cool. I don't understand how they have entire stores that stay open. I don't get it I don't know I don't get it. I know Honestly, I never seen anybody in a sketch or in my life because we live here I think it's all middle of America where people are like I really love these brown blocks on my feet They look great. That is so funny. That's true

So they died and then you decided to start and you write about your personal stuff, but you also get a lot of questions or you advise you. Yeah, well, where I got to now, it took a little bit. I was actually a journalist covering the adult industry and that's where I became sort of a sex toy expert because I sort of had to dive in and write about the business of sex toys and all of that. Right. And so I still do that a little bit now, but then sort of creates, I don't know, started to become someone who I just don't have a lot of boundaries, I really like to talk about things that make other people uncomfortable, so maybe help them with their comfort levels.

And then I grew into, I met up with some people at LA Weekly in Village Voice and they just loved the whole idea of the site, so I started it with the editor. And now, yeah, people kind of, I do storytelling events where I just go on stage and just like make people laugh about things. Because the only way to really break down barriers with sex is laughter, honestly.

Because without that, everyone's just really rigid and uncomfortable, and they have reason to be, because we're taught to be. And as soon as you can start laughing about the stuff that sort of comes out of your badge, or the spooge on your face after an accidental BJ, or whatever, that's when things get comfortable, and you can, you really start feeling okay with yourself. Okay, because people are so tight about it, but then that's what everyone's thinking about

anyway. It's everyone's thinking about they have questions about they want to understand it, but they're, they're, they're very uncomfortable and I'm tight about it. So they look to people who aren't as uncomfortable and like you, you see. Yeah, I never tell people, people get inspired. They sometimes write me emails about articles I've written and they're just like, yeah, I've always wanted to try that or how do I get into this or that? And I'm just like, oh, I didn't even realize that people actually gave a shit.

Because I really like writing it and if people read it, that's great. But when it's when you get the feedback, which I know experience all the times, we realize that it's totally worth doing all of it. That's why it's worth it to hear from the peeps. And the website again for people that are here it's LA nights right it's after dark and that's okay I'm intoxicated I apologize it happens on a

Tuesday after I love it I wish you were drunk no I went to I went to the dentist yesterday and they'd like tolling Nomeo so I'm all fucked I feel fucked up too yeah I two glasses are wine last night I was supposed to meet up with Barbie and I yeah my head exploded and I had to go home I was too. I had two glasses of wine last night. I was supposed to meet up with Barbie and I had exploded and I had to go home. I couldn't even walk my dog. She pooped in the house. That's how bad it was. Oh no.

Yeah, it wasn't too bad. It wasn't on the new rock or anything. Oh my god. So what are some of the popular, what are the, which are articles of you written or posts that you've written that I had the most responses to that were like really struck a chord? Um, well, I wrote about getting painted nude recently and that got a lot of attention from women who were just like, I've always wanted to do that.

I've always been afraid, where do I go to do this? And honestly, I was just like, where are we so then I'm gonna paint your body? Are you gonna stand there nude? I was standing there nude and someone was painting me in different poses. That got a lot of attention from a lot of women. A lot of posts that I write or some of my

colleagues write about actual sort of sex acts and how to do stuff. Back at a lot of attention because honestly we're all sort of looking for different ways to, you know, how do I try but sex without freaking out? Right, exactly. We get more of those. Yeah, of course. I mean but sex is a huge topic at all. It always is.

That's a- They're either down for it or not. Yeah, of course, I mean, but sex is a huge topic at all. It always is. That's what. They're either down for it or not. Or they could be, or they're afraid of it. It's all afraid. It is comfort levels. It's a whole combo deal. But there are little tips and tricks you can do to sort of relax yourself.

Because at the end of the day, the key is to relax the muscles. Because what hurts is not really about your clenching yourself. Because I do it all the time where I will realize I'm that you're clenching yourself. Because I do it all the time, right? I will realize I'm actually very slightly clenching and that's just enough to make it hurt going in. Yeah, you gotta be chill. That's good advice for anal sex. That's our anal sex tip of the day.

Something of the biggest anal sex tip I wanna say, have an orgasm right before. Oh, cause then you're open. Cause then you're really at relaxed. You're feeling pretty good, your dopamine levels up and your muscles are gonna be just a little bit less tense. That's a good advice.

So what about for a man for penetration, penetration, penetrating a man? Do you know what? You have obsessed with this lately. It's all about, because it's huge. It's all about lube. I mean, for men who want to put a man in lube. She wasn't put on strap on in like,

pen, she didn't even know. Oh, for pegging. Pegging. Yeah, that's huge right now. She, yeah, she seems like all of them. No, I'm not all about it. I know. that's huge right now. She seems like, oh, no, I'm not about it. I know. I'm not about it. Get ready.

Seems like it really opens to this subject. I'm just open to it. I'm always open to it. It's what I do for a living. I know, peg men for a living, but I talk about sex. Well, when are you going to do it? I'll let you know you're being the first in a while. Because it's a big topic, and I think

that mellot of men, straight men, are missing out on this amazing sensation that they've never felt before. And I think that Mel, a lot of men, and he wants to do it. Great men are missing out on this amazing sensation that they've never felt before. And I think it could be really cool for them. What are you gonna do it? I don't know what I'm gonna do it. I'll send you a memo right before. I'll text you.

I'm like, sorry, that's a peg you, I gotta text you. You know what I'm doing. No, you should call me while you're pegging. Yeah, just because you call me while you're, no, he calls me while he's having sex sometimes. How do the women, or the woman, I don't know if you even have sex with women at this point because how do they tolerate that what do you mean? What would you hold on? What's that gonna make this call? I don't understand how they not how what you and this it's all about having fun

I'm just doing a joke of way. I'm not being serious. Oh, I got to make this call But they like leave literally pick up the phone and make a call I didn't believe that men is actually at sex. But I do text, I do text sometimes while getting philatial. And he didn't call me, he just guessed what I'm doing right now. And I'm like, what are you doing?

He's like, I'm having sex. I'm like, I was like driving along alone on Saturday night, like, eating like some take out or something. In my car, like doing nothing, I'm like, men is getting late. And then men is, puts the girl on the phone and she's like, hi, yeah. Oh, that's funny. And then I, And then Menace puts the girl on the phone and she's like,

hi, yeah. Oh, that's funny. And then you guys went back to having sex and left me there. And I'm like, I'm driving along, listening to Menace. Having sex. I'm going to hang out now. That's my hair. It's worth. It wasn't all weird.

Exactly. It was funny, that was good times. Okay, so what are some of your other favorite sex toys right now? Anything new that you're, I just love the, I just got from, good vibrations, the Mimi. Oh, the Jiju Mimi. I just got from good vibrations the Mimi. Oh, the Jiju Mimi. I think I talked about that last time. It's so awesome. It's so small. It's so small and powerful. Yeah. I don't really love it. I'll rumble out of your hand if you use too much. I know. I know. I like it. Anything else that you've used that you like. Lily that makes you really happy. Yeah. Honestly, it's

from Jiju again, but I was just talking about it with a friend. the Fifi. Everyone likes rabbit vibes and I honestly kind of don't because I like to do two hands and do different things. But what's cool about this is there's a motor, it has the two little bunny ears and a motor in each. So it's like hell a powerful kind of like how the form to the fingers, your clip. So that does that. And then there's another motor in the bulb part that goes in you and it it's curved up so it'll hit your g spot. So it's cool. Of all the rabbits I've used, that's the best one. Okay, but that's not what you got to get that one. Yeah. What's it called? The YFEEFEE. It's called FEEFEE. It's super cute. You look at it. It's like this little like sculpture.

It looks like it. It's like a PEEFEE. They always know, like when I was in high school like people You always said a fee fee bag. You ever heard of a fee fee bag? No, it was like It was like I don't know you make it out of like plastic bags and you put lube in it and like a sock or something and like Guys would masturbate with it. They call it a really high-end. Yeah It was like a homeowner that it was like a homemade Masterbation device honestly that fucking creative and probably felt damn good. Yeah, what about all these male masturbation and vice versa? All kinds of cool things.

It's all exploding right now for men. That means like, why are six or just for women? But they're for men. They're not. They never happen just for women. I know, but guys don't realize it. So what are some of the ones that you've seen that menist can try?

Honestly, it kind of depends to anyone. He doesn't even have one. The fleshlight is the quintessential, you know, fuckable toy, which is great. It feels good all the time. A little bit of suction. It's a little fake vagina in case in plastic. My intern just tried it and he didn't think

there was enough suction. Hey, maybe he's just one of those dudes. That's true. Maybe to try it again, they have some others that are in different styles, but that's the classic. But they have some toys, fun factory, which is this cool German company, has something called the Cobra Libre,

and instead of being a jerket toy, it literally, you put your penis in this little race car thing, and it sits the head of your penis in the corona, which is where the little cluster of nerves are. It sits right above a motor, and you just let it, you sit there, it doesn't move, and it vibrates on you. And some men are like,

blah, boring. And then other men are like, oh my god, and then just blah. That's so cool. Those are real cool. It feels like, because I wouldn't say I last, the sex toy show.

So in Vegas, it was the Londry Show and Sex Toys tonight. I feel like it was all about men. We're gonna do a whole segment on that. There's a huge thing about men. I don't know if you noticed, but you're talking about pegging earlier. That's a huge deal where companies are coming out with strap-ons and dildos made for couples to shop for together. So they're gender neutral,

they're not all really phallic and penis shaped. There's really cool. It's a big part of it. There's another toy from this British company, Rocks Off, and I forget what it's called, but it's basically a stoker that's connected to a vibrator, so you slip your hand into a sleeve, and it's like a silicone half pipe, and you just run it along your cock as it's hard. And so that's sort of like a cross between, I guess, what a cobra Libre would do and what the fleshlight would do. Okay, cool. So that's kind of cool. People like that. I have you seen this thing? You guys sent me a link to it. I just think it's fascinating is the the USB. Oh, the real touch. Yeah. It's like one side is a one side is a vagina and the other side is a dildo or penis, whatever. And then. So

let's say the females in New York, she plugs it into her computer. And they watch porn together that simulates them having sex. And then, well, it doesn't like, I'm not like trying to penetrate this thing and then it starts acting on the other side. A little bit like that, yeah, but isn't there also, there's also a, um, for like, I just find it fascinating for like long distance. Yeah, no, it is, it's great. What about if you're a guy and you feel like, they're buying it for the military? Yes.

So tell a Dildonic technology. It's crazy. Tell a Dildonic. Really? Yeah. The real touch came out like three, I want to say three years ago was when they first started to push it, but everyone was just kind of like,

what the fuck? Because I mean, it's weird. It's like she can bear belts inside in case in a thing that when you're, if it's programmed to the porn you're watching, if the chick like squirts Then it'll fill with Loub So I actually am really so you're watching, but I mean it just hasn't really taken off for whatever reason You know multiple possible reasons, but it's cool and the thing that they're doing now with with the whole you know

Long-distance relationship thing where yeah, he can do something to his device and and it shall feel it in her device Yeah, it's definitely relationship thing where he can do something to his device and it shall feel it in her device. Yeah. It's definitely sort of the new age of sex, sex, and relationships. Who knows what will happen with that? I know. Well, you could be a guy and you just have, you know, one for China and then you just send out a bunch of penises all across the country. You can just be banging chicks all over the place.

You can be banging chicks all over, right? And virtually. And then you can bang chicks at home. That's awesome. It would have practiced. No STDs. Yeah. No STDs. No STDs right. It's a good thing.

Would you try it? We got some in the office. No, you don't have that. The USB device thing. We do. He's like, what? Oh my god, I'll be right back. We have two of them.

You do? No way. Dude, come over. It's on the street. You never come by. All right. So, okay, what else can we, okay, we've just got a few few more runs left, but tell me, what's your biggest turn on? Oh God. Do I want to go, I really like broad shoulders. I really like a square jaw.

Square jaw. It makes funny. Yeah, okay. What's your biggest turn off? Errogance? Errogance. Yeah, okay. You could be honestly a huge stud muffin with the squares, John, a planet. And if you're a douchebag, I want you to leave so you would never date Kanye. He has a very spiritual but very arrogant. He's such a douche. What's your best sex tip? Are your favorite sex tip about? I don't know.

I guess master made a lot before you start really having lots of other sex. No, about what you like before you start doing with others. So true. Because you can't, you can't expect. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, So know what you like so that if something's not going right, you can very easily sort of adjust yourself and no one will be disappointed. And then he'll feel like a stud and he'll probably fuck you again. Yeah.

Exactly. It's so true. Because we get emails a lot lately, a lot from a lot of virgins. And there are people who just had recently at sex to like, what was the big fucking deal? Wasn't that good? It's never good at first. That's where you're in your self. No, you gotta work on it yourself. So I think a big

a sex tip is don't be surprised if you don't have an orgasm by getting railed by a dick. Right. Because you're not broken if you don't have an orgasm. Yeah, only 30% of women have orgasms during intercourse. Exactly. So you might need a cool vibrator, some other way to be stimulated. Something, the clip is where all the, all the nerve endings are. There are some nerve endings in the first, like third of the vagina. But for the most part, all the sexual stimulation you need is going to be on the clip. So pay attention to that if you really want to have a

full-blown orgasm with a penis inside of you. Yeah, I was just watching candy from the real housewives, and she was going over her products. It was just last night. I mean, it's a rerun, but she had the cl- the clit stick. Yeah. It looked like lipstick.

Yeah, I have the one that I should. Yeah, it's pretty hilarious. Yeah, cute. The bedroom candy. I like it, the bedroom candy line. I like it, but it's not that strong. They're not strong at all. Why aren't any of them strong enough?

Well, here's a big problem. It might be, it's a personal thing because some some people it's totally strong enough and then others You know, you need like the meemies and the the rock boxes, you know, and the things that are a little bit more The dump trucks the drills. Yeah, the power drills I mean, what if I get to myself? I'm like really not powerful not powerful not powerful not powerful Don't you agree with my brother right now? I like the Mimi a lot. And then I have this weird prototype that someone gave me a long time ago that just it's on the verge of being not strong enough,

but it just has always worked because ergonomically how it's shaped, it fits really well in my hand. But if things aren't strong enough for you, don't feel like, what did I do? I'm such a bad person. It's just honestly, it's a sensitivity thing. Some people need more, some need less,

and just do what you need, it's not going to damage you. And there's nothing wrong if you need one. Nope. Nothing wrong if you need a sex choice. Okay, well thank you so much. Of course. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. Thanks for having me. So Barbie Davenport, writer for the Village Voice Media's sex bug, afterdarkla.com. Yep. And you've got to come back and play with us sometime. I can't wait. I can't wait for the next one. Good, so fun. Okay, everyone.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemlee.com.