Sex With Emily - SWE: The Male G-spot
Episode Date: January 6, 2014The male G-spot is the prostate. Yes, men have a G-spot too and it’s in their butt. The time has come to leave your fears behind, and go on an adventure through the backdoor. My guest Charlie Glickm...an, author of The Ultimate Guide to Prostate Pleasure: Erotic Exploration for Men and Their Partners, explains how to pleasure the prostate, from finding it to stimulating techniques. Before you Poo-poo the idea of prostate pleasure, have an open-mind (and a open behind). If men stopped resisting everything they think challenges their masculinity, they could be free to experience a lot more pleasure. Plus, a dude who’s actually secure with himself and his sexuality won’t be worried if something he’s doing is considered manly or "straight" enough. Use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations: http://bit.ly/19rLghs. Use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com and coupon code EMILY for 20% off your first purchase at Emilyandtony.com. Check out my new vibrator store: www.sexwithemilyovo.com/. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.
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Hi I'm Emily, the host of Sex with Emily.
Good vibrations carries the hottest toys and vibes.
I love the Jeju Mimi because it's discreet yet extremely powerful and great for couple sex.
Find out how much pleasure your body can really handle.
Use coupon code Emily for 15% off at sexwithemlee.com slash good vibes. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.
Eyes that block our sacred institutions.
Betrubized, they call them a lie-gone-day.
Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?
Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.
He thinks you're kind of cute.
The girls got everything.
Oh my!
The women know about shrinkage.
Isn't it common, Oli?
What do you mean, like, laundry?
It's drinks?
And we not talk about sex so much.
Are you kidding me?
Oh my god, I'm off here.
I'm so drunk.
Being bad feels pretty good.
But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.
You're listening to Sex with Emily.
We're talking about sex relationships
and everything in between for more information
go to sexwithemily.com where you will improve your sex life.
Just by visiting the website and listening to the shows,
we promise that if you become friends with benefits member,
you get three shows a week, you get lots of perks,
lots of benefits we answer your emails right away.
We're like your personal sex coaches,
and release coaches here at Sex with Emily.
So thanks everyone for listening to the show,
and for following us on Facebook and Twitter
and Instagram, Sex with Emily,
and I'm here with the white menace.
Hi, how you doing today?
I'm great, how are you?
I'm very good. I met Will for menace. Hi, how you doing today? I'm great. How are you? I'm very good
I I met Will for all today. Wow. That is so exciting. Tell me about it. Yeah, it was cool
He has some new movie coming of course and it's all in Spanish too like he's speaking Spanish
Wow, I have not seen it. I can't even pronounce the name of the movie. Okay, if you know Spanish
Was he funny or can read so many people are funny, but not funny? Yeah, he was actually funny in person. He showed
up in like these really like crazy pants. We thought they were pajamas, but they're actually
like golf pants. Okay. And they go, do you go golfing often? And he goes, no, he goes,
I'm just a, I'm just a really big fan of the attire. That's hilarious. That's funny.
Yeah, he was a good day. I didn't mean anyone interesting today, except for Charlie
Glichman, our guest on the show, I've met him before.
But I'm very excited.
We have a guest today, Charlie Glichman.
He's the education program manager at Good Vibrations.
He's a doctor, PhD, insects, right?
So he can answer all of our sex questions today.
He's going to help me out.
And we're going to be talking a lot about prostate pleasure
for men, because you know what comes up on the show,
a lot of men are a little fearful of it straight men in particular and he's going
to talk about the benefits of it and some other sex stuff.
Everything I'm talking about in the past, I don't know, a couple of weeks.
It's really just been in the past year, I believe in the past year, maybe I'm just ignorant
which I usually am.
That has been more and more in the mainstream.
Definitely.
That people are talking about it.
I'm hoping.
They are talking about it more.
I think that that might be true.
There might be a trend towards that.
So we're going to give you all the information you need to experience the most incredible
pleasure of your life that you've not yet experienced.
So we're talking about that.
We've got some sex in the news.
We've got your emails.
And I also got to mention a giveaway that we're doing this week.
Every year on March 8th, its global recognition is given to the economic, political, and
social achievements of women throughout history.
So in honor of International Women's Day, we're offering a product giveaway from Trig Laboratories
wet, natural, beauty, beautifully bare.
It's a personal lubricant.
So all you got to do is follow us on Facebook and Twitter.
We'll give you details.
How to win that?
Labor Kent.
I love Lou.
You know I'm a huge Loub fan.
I want to Loub on every nightstand.
That's just what I want in the world. You want the gasoline truck, but it's full of
a loop exactly. It's like a huge pump of loop or something. That's just that's what I
want for everyone. I think it's important. Damn, is that too much to ask? Really. And
yeah, that's what I got. So I haven't done, I'm trying to think what I've been doing.
I think going on in your life. In my life. Just, just, yeah, I mean, there's a lot going on.
Have you ever seen it?
You always say there's a lot going on,
but then you, you never see it's work, it's work,
it's whatever, but I haven't seen someone
you know that I'm into.
He's cute, you met him the other night.
Yeah.
You've met him.
He's nice.
Nice guy.
Things are going well.
It's actually going so well that I've nothing to say.
It was more fun when I was eating.
This is your freak out time then.
No, well, maybe, maybe I'll be freaking out. Oh my god, it's going so well that I've nothing to say. It was more fun when I was dating. This is your freak out time then. Well, maybe. Maybe I'll be freaking out.
Oh my god. It's going so good.
I must self-destruct to like every woman.
Exactly. No, I don't do that.
But I thought it was interesting like last summer
when I was dating three guys at once
and then that was more.
There was more stories about the interactions.
Right now things are good.
Now having this regular relationship.
So boring.
It is kind of boring.
That's the problem.
No, I'm not bored yet.
But I'll let you guys know.
You guys are the first ones to know when I'm bored.
Yeah.
Yeah.
What's up with you besides meeting Malfarrel?
Well, Farrell, nothing.
I'm just gearing up to go to Southern California for Coachella.
Music Festival.
Oh, I'm so curious.
When are you leaving?
You're going to go the whole 10 days.
Yeah, I'm going to be, I'm going both weekends. Okay. It's end of March. That right?
Middle of April. Okay, so I'm not worried about you being gone yet because then I get sad and cry
I know as I often do and then everything gets all messed up all
I really want to come to some amazing festival. It is it is the time I had sex backstage. I know you
Share that with me all the time every time I bring out Coach.
That's what I think about. I thought it was really fun.
No bands that are amazing.
I don't remember any bands. Madonna was there.
Oh, okay.
But I had sex backstage.
Cool. Right.
Okay. So we've got some sex in the news for you today.
What do you have?
This is this is repulsive. South Carolina Republicans are not allowed to have pre-mirrored
sex.
So as of last Tuesday, if you're hoping to get onto the primary ballot in Lawrence
County, South Carolina, you'll have to sign a Republican Party pledge stating you've never
had premarital sex and that you will never, ever look at porn again.
No way.
These additions were made to the typical conservative ideals, upholding gun rights and opposing abortion
and are meant to weed out
possible immoral future candidates. I can't believe this stuff is still happening in our
world. That is not real. It's totally, it's absolutely real.
A county, a county.
A county. Lawrence County South Carolina. If you want to get on the ballot and run, you
have to state that you've never had a premarital sex and you won't look at porn. And like,
if you want to get on the ballot, you're going to do anything you can to get on
the ballot, but still.
So much healer going to be lying.
Well, thank God because I've never had premarital sex.
Right.
Of course.
And you don't like porn.
So you actually could run.
I will run.
You will.
You will run.
But that's actually true.
I'm sadding.
Okay.
Good news for smoothies.
Women don't like beards.
Sorry.
Sorry to both my men here. Women don't like beards. I don't know. That's what they say. After showing
photos of the same men bearded and cleavage clean shave into a group of 200 women from New
Zealand and Samoa, researchers concluded that women prefer a smooth face man. But that's
in that's in Samoa and I know I'm just telling you what I'm not saying it's America.
So the Samoa women were chosen because their island is isolated from Western
trends. So they'd be less likely to go for the hipster beard look.
Interestingly though, men who were shown the same photos found bearded men to be
more commanding a respect and possibly more aggressive. This suggests that
beards may be an evolutionary tool to scare off other men. Is that why you have
your beard? Yes, it's to scare off every other man around.
How's that working for ya?
Everyone is kind of scared of you
because it's just because you're kind of mean.
Yeah, I'm just a dick.
That's not because of the beard.
But you're still lovable inside,
but you are just kind of a dick if people don't know you.
Yeah, but you know, the whole,
at least on the coast that I know,
and the big cities, the New Yorks,
and the San Franciscos know and the big cities, the New Yorks and the San Francisco
and the Los Angeles, the hipster, the hipster mustache is out of control.
I know, it is.
It's so in to have a hipster mustache.
I know.
It makes me want to be like, I don't like the mustache thing.
But I like the beard.
I actually personally like the beard.
I have the beard just because I'm pale to cover up more of the beard.
You always have more of the beard.
Can I buy you tanning salon gift certificates for the birthday?
Would you go?
I would hell yeah, I would go.
Because I do hear you complain about the tan thing a lot.
Yeah, I want to do the stand up one.
I want to spray you.
No, no, no, not spraying.
Oh, you want to do the booth?
Yeah, I want to do the full video.
So bad for you.
I felt like I didn't do that by now.
I feel good.
Yeah, honey, that's bad for you.
But the other thing is it stinks.
It stinks and doesn't get in between the fingers.
Yeah, but you wash your hands.
There's a whole thing that you do.
It's terrible.
Okay, well, I'm not getting in for you because I don't want you to die.
Justin Bieber celebrates his legality with $11 million love nest.
So he just turned 18 and four is 18th birthday.
Justin Bieber would 10.8 million on a Hollywood Hills mansion
currently rented by Ashton Kutcher.
He hopes to turn the sprawling pad
into a love nest for himself, Anselina Gomez.
They shouldn't believe in together at 18 PS.
Looking over Lake Hollywood, the home features,
a private movie theater, a gym, a gourmet kitchen,
a massage room, and a bar area
that Beaver won't be allowed use used for the next three years.
Oh, yeah, for real.
He's never going to use that.
That's crazy in $11 million house.
He started on YouTube.
We started on YouTube stuff on YouTube.
Why are not buying $11 million?
Well, I imagine.
You know, a tiny kid that can play a guitar.
That's true.
That's true.
But, uh, yeah, he's buying a house for his mom too.
That's a good kid.
That's great.
That is a good kid. That's great. That is a good kid.
Yeah.
Love it.
Okay.
And he might have sex for the first time ever with Selena Gomez.
Is he?
That's a low right, but he's had sex for forefisher.
No way.
Guess way.
It's word of God.
Okay.
There's a manhand soccer mom busted for running a high profile brothel in New York.
44 year old Anna, an upstate New York mother of four kids,
has been indicted for managing a sex ring out of an East 78th apartment for the last 15
years. She made millions by catering to powerful politicians, top law enforcement officers,
lawyers, bankers, entertainment execs, and Fortune 500 businessmen, especially, as well
as extremely rich European clients. But she finally slipped
up when she arranged a liaison and which miners were involved. Because her black book is currently
sealed by investigators is unknown which politicians are involved in the scandal. I'm just going
to bet all of them. No. Most of them. Well, please turn the one from the home state.
Yeah, no, I know know but all the politicians are
like we talked about yesterday how on what's the faces doing the um...
the contest the hustle has to do the contest for anyone who had an affair with
the politician is offering a million dollars for all the details
i'm sure there's a lot of horse out there that would love to get their hands on
that million dollars exactly
but um... yeah exactly we talked about that yesterday that yesterday. And I've had interactions with politicians,
but nobody that would be that interesting.
Yeah, you need somebody high profile to get that million.
Exactly.
Do you have any more sex in the news from your news meetings
on TMZ?
No, just, you know, we've talked about it yesterday.
It's still pretty big is the Olivia Munn and the Hendrix.
Hi, no. Who cared for the boobs? I haven't seen them yet.
They're hot women. Right. So the boobs are everywhere now,
because they have the phones. They have the photos. Yeah.
Olivia Munn had some like her in like crazy laundry and stuff like that.
Hot. Yeah. Like she was definitely like posing for the cameras. But this,
the other the Hendrix girl you could tell that she was definitely like posing for the cameras, but this, the Hendrix girl you could tell,
that she was just like taking pictures for a boyfriend
and something like that.
It wasn't like-
Everyone stopped taking the nude pictures.
I have to say it every day.
Like it's the dumbest thing you can do.
Someone's gonna find out I'm hacking your phone.
Someone's gonna get your consent to a guy that you madly
in love with and you trust to the dentist to the end of time
and then you're gonna break up with him tomorrow
and there goes your pictures on Facebook.
It would be everywhere.
They're all actually there was this one chick.
I don't know her last name but I know her first name her name is Adrian and she's also
the ex-girlfriend of Robert Kardashian, the youngest boy in the family and she was on her
runway.
I don't know what she was thinking but she was wearing a dress that only like
from the neck down covered.
So it covered her front, right?
Yeah, but a wind came and she wasn't wearing any underwear.
Oh, stupid.
And then so here's like a billion photographers
taking photos and it's all online.
Oh my God, we're underwear to people.
We're underwear and keep her clothes on.
Yeah.
That's all I gotta say.
That's all I gotta say about that.
Okay, we can move into some emails now.
All right, let's do it.
Okay, thanks everyone for emailing us at feedback
at sexwiththeendly.com.
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your emails go straight to the top,
we answer emails right away,
and we just love hearing from you.
So thanks for emailing us.
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and whatever feels good to you.
Dear Emily, I just want to take time to say thanks
for the show about changing relationship patterns.
It's my favorite so far. That's all I got. Deborah. Dear Emily, I just want to take time to say thanks for the show about changing relationship patterns.
It's my favorite so far.
That's all I got.
Deborah.
Overland Park Kansas, she's a premium friends with benefits member.
She loved our relationship pattern show.
That was last week we talked about how we all get stuck in relationship patterns and how
to break those patterns.
That was a good show.
How about me?
Do I break patterns?
For sure.
I've broken patterns, to develop new ones.
Hopefully they're all more evolved though. You know what I mean? Like as you move along through
the patterns in life, we all have patterns and people we still date over and over again, maybe
the same types. And we're just talked about exercises that you can do to break those patterns.
So you should go back and listen to that show. Do you have patterns?
Can we talk about that? You would not admit your patterns that I pointed out
for you. So I want to know. Yeah, because you're always wrong on the path. No, I was absolutely
right, which is why you were so upset. No. Okay, dear Emily, let's move Charlie on now.
Okay, Charlie. Okay, Charles Lickman. We have to give him a microphone too. We forgot
to put that over there. Okay, sorry. We're going to give you Mike. Charlie Glickman is a star. He is
the staff educate what you are the education program
manager at Good Vibrations.
Okay, we love Good Vibes.
I've talked about Good Vibes.
If you don't live in,
how should we get a shriek go closer?
We got it.
We're good.
Okay.
So Good Vibrations is probably my favorite store in San Francisco
and they have some, how many stores in Boston?
And there's how many stores in the Bay Area now?
Four or five?
We've got one in Boston, four in San Francisco,
and two in the East Bay.
Okay, it's the most amazing store,
sex toy store, sex education.
You walk in there and you feel like,
you just, you feel like the most,
you feel so accepted and you feel like your needs
are being taken care of.
If you have any sex questions or you wanna buy toys,
vibrators, anything that you wanna get into, you can just talk to them like you're talking about
what you have for lunch and they make you feel very comfortable and happy. Yeah, you've been talking
about them forever and you always, I'm strategyed and shared the story that you always share about,
it was the first place that you ever sexed or whatever. It was first thing, yeah.
I went into. I wanted a G-spot vibrator and I brought the G-spot book and I was like,
hi, it was a little embarrassed and nervous, like no, probably and they just talked to you like it's just the most it because it is
The most normal thing in the world for good vibrations
That makes me really happy to hear because that's what we try to do. Oh my god
It's so comfortable and you just feel like and then you don't want to leave because you're like
I've got a lot of questions and then there's all the books and all the movies and all the DVDs that you sell and and we love talking to people about sex
Yeah, they do and Are you going to accept responsibility for the downworld spiral that her relationships
have gone since going to your store?
What don't you stop?
I can't say responsibility for that.
No.
I'm not saying that her sex life didn't improve, but all my sex talks.
Yeah, I think if she could marry the vibrator, she would.
No, the trick is to bring the vibrators into your sex life with your partner.
Exactly.
And that's what I've done.
I always say that.
So it's like your new best friend.
Like anyone who is still as issues vibrators is, I have a problem with them.
Because I think that you can realize men have to realize that they should not be threatened
or women.
They should not be threatened by vibrators because it truly can enhance your sex life.
And 70% of women need some kind of literal stimulation to have an orgasm,
vibrators, hands, whatever.
So just make it part of what you do.
What's the best selling clitoral vibrator?
Because I'm always recommending them,
but what would you say is the best
the one that you or the one that you recommend the most?
If someone's just starting out
and they want to use it during intercourse,
what do you like today?
What do I like today?
I actually think there's so many new things.
You know lately I've been a big fan
of some of the smaller bullet vibes because they're
smaller, they're more out of the way, or even something like the Leia by Fun Factory.
Oh, okay.
Because it follows the curve of the body so that it's not right in the middle of everything.
Okay.
Because if you're having close faces.
And it's like curves like that, right?
Yeah, it looks almost like a computer mouse.
Oh yeah, I've seen those.
Okay, that's a good one.
Okay, also if you want to buy anything so we talk about today you go to goodvibes.com, you use coupon code GVMly15 and you get 15% off
anything at all from good vibrations. What about it? It's great, what about it? It's such a deal.
So okay, we wanted to talk to you, we wanted to do some emails first and then we're going to get
into some prostate talk. Okay, bring it. Okay, dear Emily, I've not had to use congoms for 15 plus years, but now I'm divorced
and dating again, in which case the women have all, in which case women have all the advantages
still.
So if that care package from lifestyle could find its way to me, it would be nice.
I have a bunch of lifestyle because I'm going to get to some of my bunch of congoms, so
I'm going to gift people.
I did send a full recap of Vegas at the CS, but I'm not sure if it ever made it to.
You guys need to go to the show.
To do the show there.
And I normally agree with Menace,
but on Friday's show, three, two,
I would have to disagree with him about BJs.
Hands are good.
Don't be rough.
Don't be rough.
It's not a chute toy.
And the girl being enthusiastic is good.
I want to know what she's enjoying herself as.
I want to know she's enjoying herself as much as I am.
Sex is always a two-way street.
It's as good to give as you get.
Great show from Mike.
He's a premium friend with benefits member from Indiana.
So what's he saying?
What were we talking about?
Blow jobs and hand jobs again?
Yeah, the whole hand job debate.
I thought buried into the ground.
We have buried into the ground, but Charlie doesn't know.
But you know, but this guy does make a good point.
Enthusiasm counts.
Enthusiasm is huge, right?
In surveys they've done over and over again,
especially for oral sex, technique goes a long way,
but technique without enthusiasm just doesn't get you anywhere.
Exactly.
What you really need is the enthusiasm,
and then you can learn whatever technique
this particular partner likes.
Right, exactly.
And you've got to ask your partner what they like
or figure it out together. So I've heard that too from a lot of men, and it's all about enthusiasm, like particular partner likes. Right. Exactly. And you've got to ask your partner what they like or figure it out together.
So I've heard that too from a lot of men,
like it's all about enthusiasm, like being into it, like.
I'm like, I'm a big fan of the either or way
to figure out what somebody likes.
You try A, you try B, and then you ask,
what did you like more?
Right.
That's good.
Give them the choice.
Yeah, because if you just ask your partner,
what do you like?
Half the time, they don't know,
or they don't know how to put it into words.
That's a great tip.
You're so right.
Because actually, yesterday, one of my interns, we were talking about oral sex because she's
been performing oral sex.
She was real, real, real, and main, nameless right now.
But she was talking about how she was so confused because she was with a new guy.
And she was like, she didn't know what he wanted and she asked him
and he wouldn't tell her,
but then he wasn't happy with what she was doing
and then she got really insecure about it.
Then happens.
And I think, I was telling her,
I'm like, I'm sure you're fine.
Like you're doing okay job, it's important to ask,
but that's great to be like,
do you like it with my hand or do you like it just with my mouth
or whatever it is?
Another good way to do it is ask somebody,
scale of one to 10, how much do you like what I'm doing now?
And now scale of one to 10, do you like what I'm doing?
Now.
And that way you can actually measure, oh well, this got a four, but this other thing got
a seven, or we're going to stick with a seven.
Yeah, that's a great tip.
That's a great way to do it.
Because when you feel kind of like a woman's like, what do you like, you're like, everything
feel, or do you tell them?
No, no, I tell them.
Yeah.
I also tell them that they're doing a bad job
and direct them in the right way.
Just not.
No, but that's rare.
That's rare.
A lot of guys don't know how to do that.
Yeah, they're just, they're like, you're saying
this guy was afraid.
Right.
To say that.
No, it's like, yeah, you're really bad at giving blow jobs,
but we're gonna work together and make you better.
She felt she was feeling so down.
She could barely, she was depressed.
She stayed there, she talked to me about it.
And I was like, you're doing fine.
I gave her some bucks.
I mean, I mean,
does have her give me a blow job and then I can tell her.
Oh, okay.
You'd like to tell her how to do it.
That's great, my name is.
I didn't, why didn't I think of that?
It's always good to see someone willing to take one
for the team.
Yeah, please.
Seriously, I could help your friend.
I know.
He's a good, he's a total giver.
I love that.
And then she can probably do a better job on whatever guy she's hanging out with.
Exactly.
And she doesn't have a ton of experience, so she's learning.
Okay.
Hi guys.
The reason for my email is to ask you about the female G-Spot orgasm.
Are they different, are they different from normal orgasms?
If so, what's the best way to give my wife one?
Is there a particular position that is better than others?
Keep up the good work.
Thanks for the show. Daniel from Florida.
I'm going to pass this along to you, Charlie,
because I know that you talk about this a lot.
I talk about this all the time.
What a lot of folks say is that G-spot orgasms feel more full body.
It feels like it's happening all over your body instead of just focused on your
clitoris or on your genitals.
A lot of women say that they can have multiple orgasms through G spot play.
And some folks can even ejaculate sometimes a little bit, sometimes a lot.
So yeah, a lot of people do say it feels really different.
Easiest way to find the G spot, get somebody turned on first.
Right. Because when someone gets turned on, the G spot, get somebody turned on first. Right.
Because when someone gets turned on the G spot
and gorgeous with fluid, it becomes much easier to find.
Wait, hold on. You know how to find the G spot?
Yes, minus we talk about the speed.
No way.
I wouldn't be any good at my job if I couldn't tell you how to find the G spot.
Yes.
Yeah.
Let him keep, we've talked about it, but keep going.
Yes. All right. No, because you're the doctor here. Yeah. Let him keep, we've talked about it, but keep going. Yeah.
All right.
No, because you're the doctor here.
He's telling you officially.
He's like Indiana Jones and going in the temple and finding the...
I want the hat and the whip.
Yeah.
Right, exactly.
Done.
Okay.
So we have to, right, you have to have be stimulated first.
So get turned on first, doing something that she already likes.
The G spots a couple of inches inside the vagina on the front
wall. So basically if somebody's lying on their back and you insert a finger and curl it up towards
the belly button, for most folks you'll find a spot that feels a little bit bigger or feels rougher,
it might feel a little bit firmer than the surrounding tissue and that right there is the G-spot.
A lot of people find it accidentally, you know,
just kind of having fun with their partner and you they've never read a book or you've
seen a movie or a website and they just find this spot that feels different than everything
else, which I think is kind of cool because it means that you don't necessarily need to.
I know, I hate those women just getting it happens to a lot of women. It doesn't happen
for me. I had to find it, I had to go searching, I had to go to vibrations and buy a juice bought vibrator on the block and found it. Yeah, excellent. Thank you
I've that's one other reason why I love good vibrations. I'd like to hear
Some positions that work really well
With her on her back maybe with a pillow under her hips to lift her up a bit
Elbows and knees can work pretty well for some folks too although it does get a little tiring
Right, right Elbows and knees can work pretty well for some folks too, although it does get a little tiring after a while.
Right, right.
And some ways to pleasure it once you have found it with your fingers, with one or two fingers, you can do a come hear motion.
A lot of people call that the come hear.
Come hear, right.
Which I think is hilarious because that's the only time I've ever heard the word hither in conversation.
They always say that.
I'm like the come here their motion, right?
As they come here motion, circles clockwise or counterclockwise tapping, stroking, and don't
forget your other hand or use your mouth on the clitoris because combining different types
of stimulation can multiply instead of just adding up.
That was perfect.
How do I do that with my penis?
You don't have a G-spot on your penis.
It depends. Oh, how do you find the G-spot on your penis?
Sorry, sorry, I thought...
It can vary. It depends on the size and shape and curve of the penis.
I've talked to guys whose penises have a very upward curve to it, and they find that
just regular thrusting hits the G-spot for a lot of female partners.
That was a lucky son of a bitch.
Yeah.
You know, it works out that way sometimes.
It does.
But on the other hand, it did, he said that it did make blow jobs more tricky.
Oh, yeah.
So, you know, it's a, you, you gain something you lose.
Right.
It's better sweet.
I remember back in the 80s when I saw a porn.
Um, this guy had like this crazy curved penis.
It was insane.
That's how I was in porn
Yeah, that can happen. Yeah, but if your penis is not curved like that
If you thrust sort of aiming the head of the penis towards the belly button sort of from the inside
Right that might hit it right and you're depending on individual anatomy
But if you're just starting out it's good to start with the fingers
Mm-hmm, and there are some special toys
There's a lot of special toys, just about by wayers.
There's a lot of special toys.
G-spot vibrators usually have a curved tip.
Right.
And that'll sort of hook up behind the pubic bone and reach the G-spot, like the G-swell,
or I'm a big fan of the GG.
That's another thing.
Oh, what's in the GG?
I don't know that one.
But the GG, it's made by Lilo, and it is silicone, so it's non-porous, body-safe, easy
to clean, and it's quiet.
Oh, I love the quiet.
You know, if you have thin apartment walls, as many people do here in San Francisco.
My neighbors hate me.
Yeah, sometimes I get annoyed.
Because I love the Hitachi, so what can you do?
You know, I once talked to a woman who was looking for a quieter vibrator because her downstairs
neighbor was complaining about her vacuuming at 2 in the morning.
No, that is hilarious.
That's something quiet.
That's the kind of muffler to put on the
Tachi. You know, they don't. It's not a bad idea. It's not a bad idea, but
Tachi doesn't like to admit that people use their favorite. Oh, that's right.
That's right. Okay. We won't talk about it. They say they use it for a back
massage. Massager. It looks like a back massage. Oh, really? Although I will say I've
had a tendonitis twice and using a vibrator on my arms felt kind of
candy.
It does work.
It does work.
I've used it on my back before and other places.
Touchy.
Hattachi magic wand.
I was always trying to figure out because they always talked about the Hattachi magic wand
as I never knew this.
This was a new information.
Oh, okay.
That it was a sex toy.
And I was always trying to figure out was at the
Same hotachi that made my television that was making this product as far as I know. So now it makes sense that they don't think it's
They don't yeah, it's sex products and doesn't look like you could leave it out
I just find this out after all these years of you talking. I don't know minus because you know
You didn't have to have to show it to you would come over and look at my sex toy collection
I need to get rid of my couch because I have so many
sex toys in my house.
But you need to get a couch that has storage in it.
I know.
That's another option.
I got a bed with storage underneath it.
Maybe my couch too.
OK.
Dear Emily, this one's for you.
And then we're going to start.
We're going to talk about prostate, male prostate.
Dear Emily, I'm a 40-year-old male.
I'm trying to get into prostate massage.
I wanted to know if it works. This is Robert from Bay City, Texas
Charlie Glickman
Floors yours fantastic. Okay. Let me start off just by saying that for any minute there who have had
prostate mis-
uh, prostate exams at the doctor. I hear this from a lot of men
They say, you know, I had a prostate exam. It didn't feel very good. So I guess this just isn't my thing right?
Doctors are trained to do prostate exams without it feeling good. They don't want
it to hurt, but they don't want you to sue them for sexual harassment. But, you know,
imagine if a woman went to the gynecologist and got a pelvic exam and it was uncomfortable
as they can be, and said, you know, it wasn't fun getting my pelvic exam, so I just
must not like intercourse.
Not everybody likes intercourse, but that's a separate thing.
The prostate in terms of how to find it is a lot like the G-spot, so everything I was
saying before applies to the prostate except that you get to the prostate through anal
penetration instead of vaginal penetration.
So grab a glove, it keeps your hand nice and clean,
you don't have to worry about nicks on your fingernails
irritating anything, get some lube
because everybody needs lube for anal play.
I'm a big fan of silicone lubricants
because they don't get sticky, they don't dry out,
hypoallergenic, all of that stuff.
And instead of just shoving a finger into the anus, which is what you'll
see in porn movies, but instead kind of press the tip of the finger up against the anus and
have the person on the receiving end bear down, kind of like in the same way as if you're
going to the bathroom. Okay. And what happens is the muscle opens up and relaxes, and then
the finger can kind of slip inside. Okay. You want to work with the body, so you take a nice, slow inhale
as you exhale and bear down, very gently press in
with your fingertip, and don't go any faster than the body
wants to go.
Right.
It takes a lot of practice to be able to receive
anal penetration.
Right.
This is one of the problems with porn.
You know, the people in porn use lube and they warm up.
It all happens before they turn the camera on.
Right, exactly.
You cannot learn how to have sex through porn.
You really can't.
Learning to have sex from porn would be like learning how to drive
from watching a car chase movie.
Someone's gonna get hurt.
Right, exactly.
That's so true.
That's so true.
That's so true.
But just like with the G-Spot, the prostate actually fills up
with fluid when you get turned on too.
So start off with something you already like. Or oral sex, intercourse, masturbation, watching
a porn movie, whatever it is.
Once you have the finger inserted into the anus, it's the same thing.
A few inches inside and curl up towards the belly button.
The prostate is, it has kind of the texture of a rape plum.
Okay.
So that's what you're looking for.
And once you do prostate massage or prostate stimulation, the guy on the receiving end
might feel like he needs to pee.
That's partly because the prostate fills up and then presses on the bladder and also stimulates
the neck of the bladder, but it's a very different sensation once you get used to it.
Okay. So that's how you do it. He wants to know, so is it the kind of thing bladder, but it's a very different sensation once you get used to it. Okay.
So that's how you do it.
And he wants to know,
so is it the kind of thing he's talking about the massage?
Like is it something that someone would have to do for him
or you're saying he could even do it for himself
or you can't give yourself a massage?
It depends on the person.
Depending on how long your arms are,
how flexible your wrists are,
some people can stimulate their own prostate with their hand.
Other folks will do prostate massage with the toy
with the vibrator. But it is a little bit easier to find on someone else.
With a finger, okay. Now are we entering ourselves by doing this?
No. As long as you are careful to go nice and slow with anal penetration, no rough edges.
You don't have long fingernails, anything like that. Prostate massage isn't going to cause any harm.
And there's some evidence that it can actually help
with certain health conditions like in large prostate.
That's amazing.
So if male, OK, so the prostate massage
are men going to get the same pleasure,
like orgasmic pleasure from the massage,
or is that something different?
What do you think?
Well, like if they're having the prostate massage
or like the anal penetration, which we're going to get into,
like I was thinking this is kind of a prostate 101.
We were going to go through here. So we we just did we talked about how to find it and then and there are our
Person who wrote in was asking about the massage
What was his name is a
Robert from base city, Texas. He was thinking about getting a miss into prostate massage now
Why would he get into?
prostate massage because it feels really good. Feels like, it feels amazing.
And they're not going to feel this any other way,
but other to get something,
when you can't get a product,
you have to go through this,
you have to, you can,
you can, you can do something into your anus, men.
You can do a lit,
you can do some indirect prostate massage
through the perinium,
right through the area between the testicles and the anus,
but the thing is there's more tissue there
so you get much less direct stimulation.
It's like massaging somebody who's wearing a big puffy down parka
versus somebody who's not wearing any clothes.
Right.
The sensation's more spread out.
But that's a really fun way to add a little prostate stimulation too.
Okay, you can do that if you're not ready for insertion.
So, break down, so what is some of the myths you think that we have about the prostate?
There's three that come up over and over again.
Well, about prostate play, prostate massage.
Because they play, yeah.
One of them is that the folks who like it are gay, or if you like it, it's going to make
you gay.
And it's interesting, there's a study that came out last year sometime.
They surveyed gay men about their most recent
sexual experience.
And only 40% of them said that anal penetration was part
of their most recent sexual experience.
So most of the time, gay men are doing lots of other stuff.
Now, I'm pretty confident that gay men are more likely
to try anal play.
There's more conversation about it in the gay community,
sure.
But at the same time, a lot of men of
other sexual orientations like it too. And that's because the types of stimulation you like,
that's where your nerve endings are, who you want to have sex with is your sexual orientation.
So if you are not interested in doing prostate massage with another man, then whatever your sexual orientation is,
you're not gay, if you see what I mean.
The two things are very far apart.
So that's one.
The second one is that it's going to hurt.
And yet it's true, anal play, if it's not done correctly,
can hurt, but that doesn't mean that it necessarily has to.
It means you have to know how to do it right. So nice and slow, use lots of lube, all that kind of thing.
And then the third one is that if we start doing anal play that it's going to be dirty,
or I'm going to hurt myself, and the grain of truth to those things is that it is possible
to do things badly and hurt yourself in any kind of sexual activity, the trick is knowing how to do it right.
Right. Okay. Which is what we talked about, the trick is knowing how to do it right.
Right.
Okay, which is what we talked about a little bit here, how to do it right.
So okay, so what about in other ways, if you don't use your finger, then there's like
pegging in prostate play for like, we're talking about, I guess, for heterosexual couples
right now.
So what are the best toys for these?
Or what's the best way to go about this?
Well, you're for pegging, so that's when women use strap-on harnesses to penetrate a male partner.
Strap-on harnesses with a dildo on it.
With a dildo, right?
With a dildo, or some vibrators work as well,
but pretty much a dildo.
And you know, for a lot of people,
you may be a little hesitant to try that
because they think that there's some gender play going on
or some power play, and those are perfectly fine ways
to have sex if that's what you want to do
For other folks pegging is just a hands-free way to hold a dildo
Because then you've got your hands-free for doing other stuff, right?
I'm a big believer in silicone dildos for pegging just because for any kind of anal play
They're they're easier to clean. Okay, you can put them in boiling water for five minutes to disinfect them.
You can put them in the top rack of a dishwasher to make sure that your roommates or your kids
are not going to be unpacking the dishwasher.
Exactly.
Exactly.
Your story is a good vibration.
And with harnesses, there's a lot of different styles, a lot of different choices.
For anal play, I personally usually recommend the machine washable nylon
or fabric harnesses. Okay. Yeah, because leather, you know, nothing looks or feels like leather,
but it's not machine washable. Right. And you know, you're going to get lube everywhere. There's good
dirty, lube, right. Okay. So you toss your harness in the washing machine and you're good to go.
Okay. So you're good to go. So you're, but how do you know, like, I guess it's, it's communication when you are pegging someone or you didn't prostate
play like to know, we talked about using fingers, but when you're putting a dildo in, you
have to be much more communicative, new slow, lots of loops, same kind of thing. But you
know, there's, and then you, are you moving it out? What are you doing? Well, so there's
three two pieces I want to touch on here. There's three key ingredients to
Successful anal play no matter who's given it and who's receiving it
relaxation already talked about that lubrication touched on that a bit and communication and that's because the the anus the pelvic floor is really sensitive to your moods and your emotions
You know how when a dog or a cat is scared, their tail kind of tucks under
and they kind of hunker down, human beings have the same physiological response. We're just
standing upright and we don't have a tail. You know, there's a reason why people who
were stressed out all the time, we call them tight asses. Literally the pelvis and the
anus and the pelvic floor all tighten up. So the more you can communicate with your partner faster, slower, deeper, more loob,
my leg is getting a cramp, the more relaxed you can be, the easier it's going to be for
your body.
And then men can experience this amazing pleasure that they've never experienced before.
Organisms, they give orgasms, right?
Absolutely.
It's a different kind of, it feels differently than regular orgasms.
Yeah, just like the G-spot orgasms are often described as full body, maybe not quite as focused.
Prostate orgasms are usually described as being more full body. Some men can even have multiple
orgasms without ejaculating from prostate play and you can just keep going and going and going.
Yeah, how about that, Menace? Sounds amazing. What are you doing this weekend?
This weekend, how long are you it'll be in Los Angeles?
Oh, it's a bummer. I had this for some time.
I thought that was your time. Um, so what are some ways that women can now
explore the section? We said we're saying for men, so anything, oh,
we didn't come back to one piece. Oh, sorry.
What do you do with the strap on with pegging?
Yes, go on and pretty much anything that you could do with, uh,
fucking somebody with a penis right?
One big advantage to a dildo is that you it doesn't inadvertently get soft when you don't want it to
Right, yeah sooner than you want it to so nice on the flip side though
You don't have nerve endings telling you what's going on
So you do need to be a little bit more careful at first until you figure out your groove. Okay, got it
That's all good tips those are like really like we've talked about it and we get a lot of emails about it,
but I think that you really broke it down and I think that everyone should go out and
so you just have your favorite toys here or these were mostly for anal toys here.
A lot of good toys.
Yes, you've got the aneros prostate massager which is one of the best hands-free prostate
massage toys that's been ever hands-free.
Hands-free. So you just put it in and you insert it and the way it does.
You do cross repuzzle on the other hand because your hands are like that.
You probably be too busy to do it in cross repuzzle.
Exactly.
But you can wear it during oral sex intercourse masturbation.
Pretty much the only position you can't be in is sitting down like on a chair or something.
Got it.
But in your own prostate, much.
ANEROS prostate.
ANEROS prostate. And the way it works is when you contract
your pelvic floor, it presses into the prostate. Oh, cool. Okay. So get your Kagle exercises
as well. Kagles, love the Kagle. What else you have on your list there? A Knight Rider
vibrator. A Knight Rider is a great one because it's the right size to get somebody warmed
up for anal play and it's got a little cross piece on it to keep it from going in too far.
One of the important things to know about any anal toy is it has to have three characteristics. It has to be smooth so you don't damage the rectum or the anus because it's more sensitive.
It should be made from a material that you can clean or just cover it with a condom.
And then the third thing is it needs to have a base or a flange or in the case of the night writer a little cross piece
To keep it from getting lost. Okay. Yeah, because you know things get put inside people's butts all the time
Yeah, I do those stories
Do you always do those stories about the emergency room things that are pulling out of people's butts? Yeah, yeah, right?
Do you hear those stories all the time? Yeah, well, and you're part of why that happens is because, you know, when we are turned on, when we're excited, I think most of us have made, shall we say, less than
wise decisions under the influence of a rousal. So if you don't have an anal safe toy on
your bedside table, you might be tempted to grab that vibrator or that cucumber or
right. Whatever object you have to do it. Don't do it because it really can cause some problems.
Okay.
So yeah, I'm a big fan of the Knight Rider.
Okay, and then Naughty Boy Aino Toy.
The Naughty Boy, you know, it's a nice shape because it's made from this material called
Intramed, which is easy to clean.
It's a nice firm material, so it transmits vibration really well, and it's got just the right
curve to reach the prostate.
Okay. So yeah, it's, and the right curve to reach the prostate. Okay.
So yeah, it's, and there's a little vibrator
in the base to go up against the perinium
or the testicles.
Okay.
It's a winner.
Awesome.
These are great.
So if anyone's now intrigued by this today,
you can use coupon code gvmly15
for 15% off at goodvibes.com, by these toys.
And you also have the coupon code at
sexlmadeocl, right?
Yes, thank you for saying that.
And because does it bother you that I read the code? No sex family doctor. Yes. Thank you for saying that and
Because does it bother you that I read the code? No, it doesn't bother me that you read the code But it bothers me that you don't say that it's on the website
It's on my web site sex only dot com right there at the top because some people might be listening on stitcher on their mobile phone
They'll have no order right now. We have to say hi to stitcher. Yeah, hi stitcher. Thanks for letting us use your studio
Stitcher is a popular place to listen to podcasts. So now, don't let it today.
You're smart phone.
You're smart phone.
I do.
You usually do a better spiel.
You do, but you're tired.
That wasn't bad.
And if you want more information about pegging, prostate, play, g-spot, or anything else,
on goodwabs.com, on our how-to pages, we have all kinds of stuff.
Yeah, it's a great website.
And your website, charlieglickman.com, You've got a lot of great information on there too.
That's me.
And we'll have that on our website as well.
What's your favorite part about working for good vibes?
Knowing that right now at this very second, somebody is having a better orgasm because
of something I said.
That's amazing.
I know.
That is true.
I like it.
Any other questions, Mattis?
No, that's it.
Okay.
This was awesome. Thank you so much for being on the show, Charlie. It's been great to be here.
It's been too long. Like you, you're going to come back.
I love it. Oh really great. Charlie, the stuff that we discussed is also, is there some,
on your web, your personal website? Charlie, we just said, Charlie,
let's go and talk about it. Yeah, but like, does it break it down and this topic or no?
Not as much the how-to side of stuff. I usually keep over on good vibes over on my personal
site is more me geeking out about sex positivity, sex and culture, things like that.
Okay, cool.
Okay, awesome.
Thanks so much, Charlie, for being here today.
Thank you.
Awesome.
Thanks everyone for listening to the show.
It was a good for you.
Email me feedback at sexwithamlee.com.
Hi, I'm Emily, host of the podcast Sex with Emily.
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