Sex With Emily - SWE: This Charming Man

Episode Date: September 29, 2013

Become charming and confident, even if you no idea what to say and have no confidence whatsoever. Jordan Harbinger is a lifestyle coach. He teaches men the art of charm (no natural charm required). He starts by identifying any situational confidence a man may or may not have. If a man is extremely confident in his work as a doctor, Jordan shows him how to channel that confidence into talking to women. Talking about your favorite band and alcoholic beverage of choice will become as easy as talking about scalpels and stethoscopes. Jordan explains how men can shift their body language to change how women perceive them. If a guy doesn’t have any situational confidence, they have to start from scratch. Men must unlearn all the negative things they think about dating and women. All that negativity is extremely unattractive and hinders men from having the relationships they want. Women can sense when a guy isn’t being genuine. If you want to attract women you have to find out what you bring to the table, and bring it! Jordan also talks about how men can deal with rejection. Some men would rather feel like a comfortable failure than put themselves out there. With low risk comes low reward. A word from the wise, don’t linger by the bar bathroom because you’re afraid to approach her when she’s with her friends. You don’t want to be the creepy guy lurking by the women’s bathroom. Just walk up to her and start a conversation (Jordan will tell you what to say). Once you get the number, Jordan tells you what to text her. Unless you want to be watching Men In Black II alone on a Saturday night, avoid “Hey, What’s Up?” He even tells you where to go on a date. Whatever you do, don’t go to a dinner and movie. To sum it up: what most men are doing, just isn’t working. Unless you want to be the creeper lingering by the bathroom, listen to this podcast. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm Emily from SexwithEmily.com. CrazyGirlProtux.com carries unique, fair-bon-infused products that make you feel sexy and confident. I'm crazy about their wannabe naked shave cream. It's made perfectly for your more intimate areas. No shave bumps or in-grown hairs. You use Cubunkode Emily25 for 25% off at CrazyGirlProtux.com. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on date. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink?

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts

and you can change your sex life if you can read our blog posts because Anna videos and watch our videos and all that and like I have ADD, you probably do too. They're like three minutes long and you know what, you will be better in bed. And that's all I'm saying. And that's why we're listening to the show. So if that's what you want, then go to our website, sexelmy.com, fell me on Twitter, sex with Emily, Instagram, Facebook, all that stuff. I'm very excited for tonight's show.

My guest is Jordan Harbinger from the Art of Charm. He's got, we have dueling podcasts. I don't want to consider you a competitor, but they're top podcasts up there in iTunes. Yeah, that's true. You know, it's funny because when we first started our show seven plus years ago, I was like, who's this chick sex with Emily who's like, way up in in iTunes. Yeah, that's true. You know, it's funny because when we first started our show, seven plus years ago, I was like, who's this chick sex with Emily who's like, way up in the ranks? Like, I want to email this person.

I did and you replied like three years later. I know I'm so sorry. I really have an email management issue. And I'm really sorry, but now we've become good friends. We're going to get into our antics in a minute because I've got like so many questions because all I'm going to say is I'm also going to talk to Anderson here. Anderson is looking very diligently at the board. Talk to me, Anderson.

No, I'm looking at computer stuff. I know, but porn if you must not. Are you looking at porn? Everyone here in the Love Line studio is just watching porn all the time. We did until they took that away from us. Now we can't. They would do that. Anderson, I missed you this week because I was going to come in another night, but I had, I was in Las Vegas. What were you doing in Las Vegas? I was at a sex toy convention Mm-hmm and it was very interesting because there were a lot of sex toys sex products Oh, it's called the international laundry ratio. So lots of scantily clad models a lot of purves a lot of purves Yeah, a lot of purves a lot of F'd up people any anyone actually

Demonstrating how to use these toys. Um, you know, there were no live demonstrations But I did walk around and people were like, you know, demonstrating on me But I there was how does that We weren't a great came out. Yeah, they would like show my hand like the vibration on my hand You know like that kind of I'm picturing the future. Yeah, we get so far off off base off our moral base There are compass that were old ladies walking down in the mall and they've a little kiosk Come here. Let me show you how this vibrator works So we hope that that happens that would be amazing, but this I got to bring my bought my Emily and Tony line

So everyone knows I launched a product called Emily and Tony and I have this amazing Cream to powder formula. It's a ball cream for men called down under comfort. Okay. So I got to bring it to this conference with all these people who have different you have launching products. I was like, well, I've got a product for you. So I'd walk up to men. I'm like, how are your balls doing? Do you want something to put on your balls and keep them fresh and dry? Like Anderson, you're probably wearing it right now, right? I, I, I am. I don't know if I should be admitting that. I don't have a problem down there.

Right. It's not the only problem. It just maintains your freshness after the shower. It makes me feel even cleaner after the shower. Exactly. Right. And it's, oh, I have some for you too, Dr. Oh, good. I was going to say I definitely could use that. Okay. Good. I'm like, I'm fresh and short, and I run and stuff. See? You can get a blowjob after you run from your girlfriend, and she won't mind if you're wearing this. So it's called down under comfort. It's unique cream formula that turns into a light natural powder to keep your intimate

areas dry, comfortable, fresh and clean. It can be used anywhere in the body. I can use it under my breasts, lower back. It prevents sweat stains, sweat stains. It's a natural, botanical formula and rich with anacid and vitamin E. I'll leave blah, blah, blah, blah. Men probably don't care about that much. But what I got to tell dudes is that it has this light fresh scent and I'll leave blah blah blah men probably don't care about that much What I gotta tell dudes is that you it has this light fresh scent and I also to the second Jordan so you can smell it

I just apply it right now. Yeah, will you hold on? I totally will I know you will you say you will but I really want you to yeah, I will okay I will this is yours down under comfort Oh, thank you guys were freaking out there are these models and these tidy whiteies all day I'm like go put the sound of the bathroom and they came up to me at the end of the day and they're like I'm not sweating. I'm fresh because the scent is really like it's a light thing and you don't sweat. It's counterintuitive. Right. Because like you don't think adding moisture down there is going to help but it dries up so quickly. It dries up and feels like you got the good kind of powder down there. Exactly. Remind me not to shake this guy's hand.

I was going to say I'm using my left hand first of all. But we'll have a whiteie for you if you want. He's actually applying bulk cream at which we had cameras in here. I'm glad that you don't then I might change Really putting on so we won't talk to you for a minute No, you can talk to me. I can rub my balls and talk to you So rub your balls and then you got to move it around in circles So it you'll see it turns like do you ever use tell computer down there? Yeah, yeah, oh you really do. Yeah, okay So tell computer is carcinogenic it gets a lot of floor. Yeah, exactly you almost died Oh god, so it gets all over the floor it gets in the creases everything and then it's messy and it doesn't smell

It's good or tastes good. This is tapioca powder Uh-huh, and it's all vegan and natural Wash hands after you use that parts optional right? Yeah, yeah, yeah Yeah, let's just take my hand or Anderson's hand, but we're cool He's really putting on your balls and then we're gonna talk to you after the show is over and I want you to know how they feel. I need more. Take more. I did more.

It was a long day. It was a long day. So this is the thing that you guys don't think of but the women are so happy about this product because they think my guys, they're not going to tell you but they wish they'd like to give you a blow job but you just get back from the gym and you're all sweating and grow. I think I totally just... Everyone gets funky, it's fine.

I think I still sabotaged me talking about the art of charm after this intro where I'm like got my hand in my drawer. No, you're the best. He helps men become more confident, because I didn't explain what you did. He helps men become more confident with women, get the dates, get the girls in like a really smart way. He's not a pickup artist. Right.

Not. And we're going to get into that and all that soon. So if I was to pick a part of said have some like cool guy thing to say about like oh he wouldn't touch my boat like I'd have some like weak ass bantery things but we're also friends. Right that's true. So if you weren't friends would you've asked me to touch your balls? No I wouldn't I mean there's some cor- That these guys are so corny like they would have had some like ooh would take them to touch my balls as this is a subconscious thing they would have had some like-

They would have thought I like, ooh, what's that gonna message my balls? Is this a subconscious thing? They would have had some like, they would have thought I liked you. Or something, they would have convinced it. Like, oh, she's talking about my balls. Right. But what we're gonna get to is Jordan, we're gonna talk about like how you approach women and how guys should try to meet women the right way. And I'm always telling you,

and we're gonna answer some emails from listeners. People email me at feedback at sexandme.com. These are specific questions I thought you could answer because I'm always hearing from guys, you know, how do I approach them and how do I talk to them? How do I text her, what do I say, what do I do, so I have a few specific questions or that I thought you could answer. How does it go out there as well? It's good, no, I just like cleaned them, cleaned up and buttoned back up. You see the powder, right? It's really cool. Yeah. It's probably you wouldn't think. My hands basically have some sort of talcumst

stuff. And how does it smell? It smells good. Right? Yeah, that's how you'll smell all day. That's cool. I know. Aren't you happy? Emily and Tony.com and you just got a bottle. So if you love me and you love this show, Sex and Emily, I'm not charging you. It's free. Go buy my product and save my life. Thank you.

I appreciate it. Yeah. It's only $1800 or two. No, it's $18 bucks. It's so cheap. It's like, oh, oh, oh, here's nothing I have to say. I'm giving away a free, a free down under to any guy who emails me this week, feedback at sexheadling.com.

Why you think you need it? I will send you one. This line also has amazing massage candles and a lubricant. Just check out the website, but we're giving away ballers. Supplies limited, right? Supplies limited, exactly. Because otherwise you're going to need a ballers. Everybody wants it, exactly.

No, but you've got to tell me why you want it. I'm not just going to give stuff away for free. You have to work for it and tell me why exactly it is that you want and it should be entertaining not just I really sweaty balls like everyone's just gonna write that right no, but you don't even that they're sweaty It's just that it's not I'm not because a lot of guys like Anderson's I think I don't have that problem like you Might not have that problem, but it just it's a confidence thing So you just know at least I'm fresh down there like it's like they're stripping all over the place I just thought of another kind of person that could use it.

Who? Morbuleo Beast people with folds. Dude, yeah. Oh, yeah. They need it. Yeah, totally. Any folds anywhere you sweat. You can use it.

Yeah, that's a good thank you. That's a whole new market. We're going to target. Okay, we should add that to the copy. Okay, and that's the copy. I'm even going to have a copy. What? Find a fold and freshen it.

Find a fold and freshen it. That's so good. Jordan's also a U of M graduate, University of Michigan graduate, like myself. So we're really smart. If we talk over your heads tonight, I'm sorry. Just grab it. You have my have to go into addiction area or something and check it out, because we're pretty friggin smart people.

So okay, Jordan, some things I have to ask you. This is the first thing. Well, tell me about the art of charm.com. Sure. This is the first time you tell me about you tell me about the art of charm dot com Sure, so first of all we have like 210 hours of audio on there at the art of charm dot com slash podcast There's a podcast there and we release every week So a lot of its personal growth for men. So we have we've had you on there talking about sex We've had a million different dating episodes on there that are all like not just guys ranting But like we talk about body language, vocal tonality,

eye contact, touch, trust, I've gotten, you know, spies and all kinds of cool like entrepreneurs on there and people talking about like real deal practical stuff that guys can apply and it's all free. And then what we do at the Art of Charms, we run week long live-in programs. So that means that guys from all over the world, like right now I've got like two

Australians, a guy from the UK, Canadians, and nobody's even from LA or California. They're all at the place right now. We have a training facility in LA. Canadians need help. They're kind of born. It's kidding. I love all my Canadian listeners. Anderson, are you Canadian? It's a joke. Half. No, I'm kidding. From Michigan, we always have Canadians near right there. That's true. I was a camp in Canada. I love them. We're basically from Michigan. We always had Canadians near right there. That's true I was camp and can and I love them. We're basically from Michigan We're basically Canadians with shitty healthcare. Exactly. Yeah And guns and guns and bad healthcare and so

The guys come from all over the world and it's a 60 hour program So it's six days seven days essentially we train guys and there's drills exercises We train everything from body language that we sit stand, walk, talk to generating trust, like master the first few minutes of an interaction and learn how to like connect with women and get really deep. And a lot of guys take it for business purposes because they're like, I'm an entrepreneur but I'm hitting a ceiling. I need to learn how to network like a fucking boss. So they'll come to us and even if they're like married and they're like, I need to learn

how to network. Wow, so you really expanded. It's not just guys who want to and they're like, I need to learn how to never really. Wow. So you really expanded, it's not just guys who want to get into a relationship with women. That's how I started though, because when I was in law school, I was like, I went to this law firm and I realized that the partners that made the most money and were never in the office, they were always the same people. And I was like, how come this guy's never in the office, but he makes the most money? And because like you kind of find that out through a word of mouth.

And I would talk to them and I'd be like, how come you're able to bring in all the business? They bring in business. That's why they make more money. And they're like, yeah, I go to Jiu Jitsu, I play golf, I belong to a country club, I volunteer at this, that and the other thing. And I'm like, so basically you're just like

schmoozing and being cool and everyone loves you so that when you get wind of a new deal because you're hanging out out like a freaking finished sauna with like some eye bankers, they're like, oh yeah, we need somebody to do this real estate deal and he's like, oh, I'm the man for that. And like, oh yeah, sure, we're still on for Squash tomorrow and they throw him like a million dollars in business.

And he's like, yo, I'll take my commission on that and that adds 200 Gs to his, you know, coffee. That's so smart. So yeah. So then you learned how to become more of the that guy, the network. It wasn't your natural skill. It no. I used to be really shy and quiet.

And I'm not at all now. Like people who know me now are like, what's in people who've known me back then, like my old college roommates, they constantly say things like, dude, you're a totally different person. Like is this how did you? So how okay? So you're a great, you're a poster trial for your own product. Yeah, your own brand.

100%. You were that guy. You were that guy that wasn't confident with women that wasn't confident talking, and it's like, what I tell guys like you got to build confidence, but that seems to me like I just want to. It's like saying get taller. Yeah, or it's like saying tell people when they tell me to focus. I'm like, okay, like if I couldn't vote, I would focus.

I could. No, but yeah, exactly. So focus, whatever I would. Get richer, damn it. That anyone vote, I would focus. I could. No, but yeah, exactly. So focus. Whatever I would get richer. Damn it. That anyone know about this money price. Yeah, it's like get taller or whatever. But how do you? So break it down for me, like, because women, when we say the number one thing is the guy's confident, the guy wants guys, confident, where do you start with these guys who are just shy and they've never given example? So a lot of people have situational confidence and we'll start from there. So like say there's a guy who is like

He's an entrepreneur or something like that or he's like an attorney or a doctor He's in the ER. He's like on point knows as shit We can help translate that confidence from where he is situationally and help him become more confident in an area where he's weak and that's huge So for example, we'll have him will really do like a full analysis of like this guy in the ER. How is he behaving? Why is he behaving that way? And he's like on point, right?

He's an ER doc. How does he like role plays before you where you go with him? We'll do that too. And then we'll be like, okay, now, talk to our female instructor. And it's like his body language goes like, you know, and you're like,

do you see why this is different? So we change his body language, we give him some little tricks and tactics to make things easier. We should we videotape him doing it So that we can show where he we can show him where he's screwing up because if we just tell you You're like, okay, stand up straight. Okay, got it. We write it down in notebook. You never look at it If you see yourself like all like crinkled up and hunched over like when it like freaking right Like a little pop puppet guy, you're gonna be like, wow, I look like that.

Then we fix something, you do it again, we fix something else, you do it again, we fix something else, you do it again. Till then you're like, oh, I look pretty fucking good on video now at the end of the first couple of days. That's amazing. Then we take you out to a bar or club and then you're like, holy shit, I'm getting so much positive feedback now from women

because they're not going, wow, you seem confident confident they're just like laughing at all the crap that you say. Exactly. You know and so if you don't have situational confidence and we have like quote unquote no starting point all we do then is we go okay you don't have anything that you can sort of mentally grab onto we're just going to start from scratch so we'll take away all of the like negative mindsets that guys have like Oh women are only after money or like I'm not tall enough to get the girls I want. I'm a little overweight women don't find me attractive We go through a really kind of brutal process in the beginning

You're not gonna like cry. We don't yell at you But it's just like you have to face your own ego a lot and it sucks because guys don't like to face their be to know not at all So then how do you it's tough for us. We break it down big time for For guys like we make them approach female instructors. We videotape them like I said before we do a lot of like Roll play type situations where you deal with difficult people who are like really not gonna give you your way We teach you how to generate trust through touch and eye contact and things like that. And that works really well. And then through field work,

where we take you out during the day and at night, guys who are like terrified of talking to women, they start to open up, because we're there. We help them do it. We give them a starting point and a skill set and little baby steps. And once they do those baby steps, the women are like, they're giving them these positive

feedback where they'll be like laughing. And we have guys come up and I can quote a million things of those baby steps, the women are like, they're giving them these positive feedback where they'll be like laughing. We have guys come up and I can quote a million things where a guy goes, I've never had women respond to me in this way before and this is the first day of the show. Wow. Like what's going on? The first time in the life. Because it's so true that women date the guys, like all the guys I've dated are clearly

the guys who have had confidence to come up to me and talk to me. Yeah. Sure. So there's a bunch of really nice guys, I'm sure that I'm not dating because they just have fear about talking to me. You're talking to women. Absolutely. And I'm like, I should just, I mean, I should go talk to that I never approach men. But why, but it's not your, it's not your job as a girl.

I know. I know where to say like, maybe that's where all the good guys are. It is because you're all the guys not talking to me, but I'd be bored. How unattractive is that when you're leading? So one of the things we teach is leading, right? So the, the girl will go, well, that's why girls go, only the guys that approach me are all gross. Well, yeah, because the guys who are super socially unaware, they have like delusional confidence, or the guys who are

quote unquote confident in that way, because they're used to like women falling for their crap, they'll approach, but girls are like, you, where are all the good guys? They're in the corner freaking out because you're hot. Right. And they don't want to get rejected because it would mean the world, it would fuck them up for like weeks. That's what they think, but you teach them that it's not so bad. It's not so bad.

It's not so bad. We teach you to steal yourself a little bit and just to not internalize it. Because rejection happens. Like, I mean, I went out with a girl like two weeks before I met my girlfriend and she was like, no, but I was like, oh, well, whatever. I'm good. It was fine. But I remember years ago doing that and being like, I hate this, the sucks. It's not working. But I didn't have anybody to be like, dude, this is totally normal. Right. Like, rejection is a part of life. It's part of it. We reject it a hundred times. It's okay. Just do it. Because people call in all the

time, yeah, they're just like, I don't even know where to start how do I yeah so just practicing practicing practicing taking winter courses are to charm that would be amazing okay Anderson how are you with the checks before you got married and all that I'm fine I'm alright they always like to I never approach them though I was waiting for them to come to me so you would never never we never would have met and we could be we could be together We totally could be doing it right, but I that would be amazing So sad that didn't work out Jordan last week Emily and I were talking and she was talking about how she hasn't had sex in a long time And I let her know that if we were on a date or if we're just at a bar casually talking that I would take that as a come on

You agree on yeah, yeah, right? It was we were on my radio show I know I'm not saying you actually were I'm just saying that if you're out in the real world Yeah, it is interesting how women how guys read women signals so different You're right, and then I really say that in sex and world it was like how long has it been a few weeks for me That's why I think you're promoting your sex toys. So there's a good good reason for it I wouldn't lie I'm still oh, I've got some sex toys so I got all these new quick question while we're talking about sex toys. I know we're all over the place. Yeah, I always yeah, we all are yeah, glass in the ass. Why do they always use glass for sex toys?

Oh my god, I'm so glad that they asked this. They don't that is terrifying. Do you see my Instagram with the Hello Kitty butt plugs? Is that why you're asking me that? No, but that seems childlike. They're glass. They're glass. I mean, where do I get those? They're glass. They're glass. Hello Kitty butt plugs. I mean, there was literally thousands of butt plugs at the show. And my Hello Kitty ones, I posted, you got to go my Instagram because there's some hilarious photos from, um, from the show. But they're glass because they, they say clean. You can freeze them. You can heat them. Like, you can do all these different things to them. It's just a good solid material rather than putting plastic in your butt. Wait, you can freeze something and then stick it in your butt.

Yeah, if you want that sensation, people like to do that with the glass. They want a boy, they want a hat. Oh, because they want a stick, like your tongue would stick on. Yeah, exactly. And it stays clean. But there are some really, and then there was a butt plug too that had a magnet. So it was this one was a glass butt plug with a magnet. And the magnet was connected to a rabbit's tail,

like a fur, piece of fur. So if you stuck the butt plug in, you would look like you had a tail. That's hilarious. And then you could pull it off like a playmate. So I was like a bunny and I was, but I didn't stick it in my butt because I was in the middle of it.

What the hell, a kitty one? Was it, was it pink? It was, no, it was head little diamonds. Hell, a kitty was like in a little like a rhinestones, you know, it wasn't like real. So the end of it has the kid. I think it's called bling your booty is the name of the company. That's so funny. Yeah, check it out on Instagram. It's actually on the hilarious. Okay. Or at the end of the civilization, I think we're about to learn.

Oh my god. You should see the things that I saw. And it's what? Sodam and Gomorrah. I know. Seriously. I mean, I could tell you some of the things that I saw that really like blew my mind. The butt plugs were definitely a highlight. There was a lot of whips and chains and stuff. I got a lot of good new like bondage gear, but I don't really have anyone to use it with this moment.

Although I am doing my mat going on some match dates next week, I'm actually going on them. Which I'm gonna free out these you got a ease into that stuff. You can't be like so I do a sex talk And guys are gonna be like there you think it'd be like sweet. Let's go home right now They're gonna be like chick, please. Yeah, don't let them know. How do I how do I avoid? What do I do a radio but that's what the public know but they're going to be like listening like I had a guy When I date with actually had three dates last week, so it's not like but I didn't have saxony of them But the point is

It's like what blood plugs with exactly. I'm like would you mind sticking this butt plug in? I went on dates and and they one of them listened to the entire love line when I was on last week and A few weeks ago before the day and I just oh That's not fair. So how do you use a So how do I have to use a fake name? I'm at well you someone help me write my probably do you do you write profiles for people I know but my friend does my buddy does he'd like does it

professionally okay that's what I need so I have learned but it's I don't think it's really working so I have to do it again but um yeah so I'm going to be reporting on that next week for sure but let's talk about tang real quick so if you go to Emilyily.ting.com, you will see what I'm talking about with Ting.

It is so different. I went there because I was not happy with my current mobile provider. They were nickel and diamond me. I was paying for things that I didn't use. And so I went there. I, they have a savings calculator. And I was able to compare my current service provider

with Ting and I would have saved, 75 bucks a month these in TING. So I switched over and I think it's an amazing plan. And if you go to emily.ting.com, you receive $25 off your first device purchase or $25 in service credit. If you bring in your own device, you can use unlimited devices on one plan. And there's none of those mysterious weird things on your bill that are like, why the heck am I paying for this? I don't understand it.

So, and you get credits on unused services, and you can use it in the next month. That's all good stuff. You know how much I love paying. You know, this is a true story. I swear to God, this happened. Just today, I was having lunch with my mom, and she was complaining.

As so many people do. They like to come, especially if the talk is getting kind of small, like you've run out of TV shows and movies to talk about. A lot of the time people will start talking about their phone service and how it sucks, you know, and she was talking about how expensive it is and she wants to get out of it, but she she has to wait for the termination date to be up like the two-year contract and apparently, Ting just recently launched their new ETF relief program, which is an early termination fee relief program, where they will give you 25% of what you paid up to $75 back towards Ting service credit. That's amazing. If it costs you, I don't know what it costs. I think it's like $150. It might be a lot of money.

It's a lot of money. It probably, but you can look into that. So if you want to get out earlier, then you think you can get out of that contract. Go ahead and check it out. That is so smart because so many people don't leave their current provider because of that. Or draft. They feel trapped. That is brilliant of TIN. Okay, so go to emily.tin.com to receive $25 off your first device purchase or $25 in service cut if you bring in your own device. Check it out. Okay, back to Jordan. My darling Jordan. How are you doing? How are you doing?

They're good. They're good. They're nice and dry. Okay, back to Jordan, my darling Jordan. How are you doing? How are you doing? They're good, they're nice and dry. Good, love to hear it. Okay, Jordan, so we got into some stuff that you teach me, but first I have to back up and ask you about, so now you're a stud, and you weren't always a stud, apparently. But now you have a girlfriend.

And you and I have become closer, because now I moved to LA. Yeah. You know, we're buddies, we're kinda neighbors-ish. And I have a garage full of sex toys, as you and I become closer because now I moved to LA. Yeah, you know, we're buddies We're kind of neighbors ish and I have a garage full of sex toys as you know and Jordan was going on a trip to Vegas with his girlfriend And I said come over. I'm gonna put together a little care package for you and by little care-paget package I think it was like two shopping bags. It's like a double bag full of which by the way TSA checks every time because I always fly But she's in Cupertino, so I fly back and forth a lot to hang out with her. She's moving to LA next week. But yeah, I know. So you'll finally meet her. But so I'm always flying with this stuff and I've got like a fricking spreader bar, like

vibrators. That's from Sports Sheets. Yes, Sports Sheets, a vibrator from Jimmy Jane, which is awesome, by the way. She loved that one. Yes. Oh, I gave her the form five, the form, the tongue, the tongue. I'm seven, form five.

Form two, or the form three. I can't remember. Go to goodvibes.com and use coupon code Emily and you can get discount and all these vibrators I'm talking about. Yeah. Okay, so she liked the Jimmy Jane. Loved it.

Awesome. I love that one. Yeah. Okay. And the spreader bar, did you use it? We keep not using it, but I've always got it. She's like, I want to try that thing, but then like, it just, you know, in my hand. So it's spreader bar, did you use it? We keep not using it, but I've always got it. She's like, I wanna try that thing, but then like, it just, you know,

in the back end. So it's spreader bar, it comes with four sheets, it's really cool. It's so basically when you're having sex with her, you put the bar, she can put it on her leg, so they stay spread. That's how you explain it. And she like, digs it, yeah.

And the hot thing is that you said, the funny thing is that you said to me, do you have to do a spreader bar, and I'm like, what the hell's that? And then I go into my garage, and there I have a sputter bar. I didn't even, and people are like, how did you know about that? And I'm, because I'm not like that,

well, I was in before I went to your house. And then, now you're thinking. And then I'm like, what's this thing? And I have to like Google instructions for you, but it's awesome. And she's down for whatever, like, totally down. I found out about that through my friend who's like a professional, straight male escort.

And he's like, dude, get a sputter bar. And I was like, what is that? And he's like, so here's the here's how this works. And I was like, no way. He's a professional male escort. So women pay. I mean, for your show, I mean, for your show, people pay him to just like just regular women pay him to sleep with them. Yeah, he's the star of the show called jiggleos on show time. Okay. And he is, yeah, he's like based in Vegas and like women pay him and his homeboys to like. Okay, so we're talking about the action of love line,

which is a show that I host on Thursday nights, you can get the podcast for free on iTunes as well. But we were talking about this other night that do women really pay for sex. Yeah, a lot. Yeah, they do. Who is his typical client, like older women? Or I think there's a lot of, on the show, the women are all across the board. Typical clients,

though, are not necessarily there are women that pay for it that you're like, what's that? Why? The thing is because it's not about the sex. It's about the seduction and these guys are pros. Literally, like they don't just go all right. Let's fuck like Their escorts like he'll take them out on a date. It's nice He's like he tells him what they need to hear he touches them the right way Like not like second not just sexually and he'll like make them feel protected and loved and meanwhile these women who have been like married to like Shlaps don't have any game they're like damn this is how you treat a woman right so he knows what's up and I met him through my show because he used to listen to my show if that's not probably out of charm I don't know what it is

that is such props for your show like he guys actually yeah like he was like this is the shit I love this and so he but he's like now I'm like calling him for like you know I'm like yo what about this and this and this so we're like talking about that stuff he's super sharp when it comes to this because now it's his job before he was just like a Computer program. So any guy can learn how to be good with him. And you ever so you don't have any failures in your course? No, there's the guys who fail or guys who are like coming in to make sure that they can't do this and they just need to like verify They're feeling it everything else in their life. Yeah, they're guys who are like, oh, I can't do this. Why?

Oh, well, I'm too busy to God. It's like, dude, you're not too busy. You just don't want to because you'd rather feel like a comfortable failure than a guy who's trying to do something and maybe it's not going so awesome for you like your whole life has because you're like a doctor and you can't stand it and be bad at one thing. Exactly. So exactly the perfectionist thing and they're afraid. So explain to me some other things that guys can do. If you're teaching them to go to the bar, for example, you've taught

them how to get confidence and how to get the body language. But give me an example. If they're walking into like, what would you tell your guys if they were wanted to meet the season hatch checks on the table? Like what's your approach? Yeah. I mean, the thing is guys make all of these weird. It doesn't even have to be perfect. Guys don't all this weird stuff, I need a good pickup line. It's like, no you don't, girls don't give a crap. Or they're like, I'm gonna wait till she goes to the bathroom. That's all just garbage and it's all these male strategies that we come up with as amateur dudes are designed to steal us or protect us or avoid rejection, which is not a winning

way to get a girl. So like, I don't want to talk to her in front of her friends. I'm going to wait for her to go to the bathroom. But then you go, why? And they're like, well, if I do it in front of her friends, it would be embarrassing. And you're like, wait, for her or you if they reject you. And they're like, oh, well, both. And then it's like, ah, so basically you're just trying to avoid risk.

And here's the problem. Low risk is low reward. If you walk to, like, think about how creepy that is, you're hanging trying to avoid risk and here's the problem low risk is low reward if you walked like Think about how creepy that is you're hanging out by the bathroom and you're like I've been watching you all night with your friends But now I'm waiting until you're alone and vulnerable so I can come say hi That's what that is and guys don't think about that So if you walk up to a table full of girls and you're like hey you guys are super cute. I'm Jordan They're like holy shit. That just happened. And if one of the girls is like, you go away. The other girls almost always will one of them will catch you in like 10 minutes

I'm like, I'm so sorry my friend is just being such a bitch tonight because that doesn't happen Normal guys don't do that guys who are like, hey ladies Like can I get you guys some shots? Those are the guys that go up to the table for the girls and the girls are like Debag go away exactly. We don't want drinks even that's not even what we want like really and maybe some young Grider not I can buy my own drinks, but we just want you to be interesting Yeah, and especially if you handle it in like a really mature way where if the girls are like it's girls night out Instead of going whatever you guys are bitches anyway, you go. Oh, no problem I'll be around with my friends if you guys get a break later. It's love to get to know you guys better

You guys it seems super fun so easy and the girls are like whoa He didn't get angry when we like told him that we were doing something He seems normal. He doesn't he doesn't like have emotional issues Because guys get when guys get rejected we fucking freak out right you're like and it's like yeah And it's like dude calm down You they can't reject you. They don't know you they're just don't want to be approached right now It's totally fine meanwhile then they're watching you and you're like talking to these guys and you're talking to those girls And everyone's smiling and the bartenders like hey Jordan you're back. What's up man?

Harp again or like you know Budweiser whatever because you know how to make friends with everyone. You didn't wait in line. They see you maybe they don't maybe that whole week nothing works out for you. Then you come in next week and like those girls are back there. Meanwhile the bartender's like, oh hey, you're that guy who did the last time and like was nice and not a dick and like polite, you know, like you work, you work it normally. We talk a lot of in our course about how to like make a bar your home base. Like, make, become a regular at a spot, get people, the door

guy on your side, get the bartender to serve you first. Like, these are little things that build value in a place where me and my, my coaches, like, I don't teach all this stuff myself, like my coaches and I, we would walk into a bar and It would be like St. Patrick's Day an Irish pub line of round the block We'd go to the front door and the guy would be like we'd be passing by like fuck it We're not gonna get in the guy door guy would be like Jordan a. J. What's up? Yo Go to the back door in few minutes and we'd go to the back door and let a couple like people who think they're smart would like go to the back door with us And we'd be at the back door, he'd pop through and be like, that with you and we're like,

no, we don't know them. And he'd be like, okay, sorry guys. And then they'd be like, what the hell, you're just gonna look those guys in? And they're like, yeah. And then we'd say, why don't you be talking about it? Just because you are that guy who's comfortable,

you go in, you shake the hand, you make friends with everyone. Yeah, like we call it, that's what you gotta do. We call it mayor walking. Right, mayor walking is true. And women find that attractive. I've had guys who always take me to places

where they know everybody. Yeah, that's what they do. And it's kind of attractive. You're like, oh, you have friends, you're normal, man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man.

You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man.

You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're the fucking man. You're So I'm taking you out on a date. This is two separate Jordans that you met on match.com or whatever, right? One guy takes you to a place, your reservation's not ready yet,

so you're like waiting and you're standing there and he's just kind of talking with you. It's fine, he seems normal. You sit down, you have dinner and you go home. You're like, that guy was cute, he was great, whatever, it was fun. The next guy takes you somewhere, then the immediately the reservation is not ready,

but the guy says, oh, Mr. Jordan, you're back. Good to see you and you go, hey, Mike, what's going on, man? This is my friend Emily. Oh, hi, Emily, we're gonna take care of you in just a second, we're a little backed up. No, no, don't worry, Mike, take your time. We're standing there having fun, just like waiting for our table, they bring us to a table,

they're like, is this gonna be okay for you? Yeah, don't worry about it, you guys are for our table. They bring us to a table. They're like, is this going to be okay for you? Yeah, don't worry about it. You guys are busy. We sit down, not the best table, but we're cool, right? We don't care. Right. Because they're busy and I seem laid back about it. Then they bring us something that we didn't order.

Hey, try this. The manager then comes over and says, Jordan, good to see you. Shakes my hand. I introduce you. Right? Like that happens all the time when you know people and then like there's three drinks they hook you up right they ask how we know each other I say we met online they're like oh be careful this goes as sharp right

like joking clearly joking the server comes by and says first rounds on me like that happens regularly how many times do I get you an alcohol it's like how often you have to go to the bar till they know you don't even have to drink at the bar you don't even have to You don't have to be drunk or that's true. That's that's amazing the social proof I think that's totally true and I never I never really broke it down like that But for men that I think I can't do that. I don't want to talk to people But you have to teach those skills we do we teach those skills and it becomes super fun to get treated like royalty And here's the thing even though those two Jordans might have been exactly as much fun or as interesting or as wealthy or whatever criteria

You're using you're using. You're gonna pick the guy all the other things being equal that is social proof because that says I've got connections. I'm normal. I'm nice. I have other friends. Subconsciously, this says this guy's safe, but also exciting. Where's the other guy? Still a black box, but not really in a good way. Not exciting. Yeah, and he made me to wait for the table for 10 minutes longer. 10 minutes longer. Right. And there's a million other little things like that. Like what? Give me another one. Another thing is body language. Like I might be really successful and really funny,

but I might be nervous. So if I'm showing you that, subconsciously as a woman, you're going, hmm, he's nervous. And it's beyond like cute nervous where it's like, oh, first date nervous. It's like something's weird where he doesn't seem like, he seems so uncomfortable that something's wrong. You start to mirror that because you're a human, mirroring is in like, you're kind of like, mm, maybe I should be on guard too. You do tend to mirror other people's body language,

we don't even notice that, right? Absolutely you will. It's a, it's a, it's a fight or flight sort of survival thing. Women do it 20 times more than guys because it's part of your that's why women have this quote unquote intuition because you might look at somebody and you don't go, hmm, I can read his mind. Your body starts doing what their body is doing and then you start feeling gross and weird and scared and then you go, uh, that guy made me feel weird. He didn't do anything.

You mirrored him for a nanosecond and went, oh, I don't like that. So you showed them the right ways to, like, breathe, stand tall. Absolutely. And because so many guys, like, look down, put their hands in their pockets, they don't make eye contact. Right. It's so funny, because I was invagous to my assistant, and she was having fun, like, making out with different dudes and having a good time.

She's going to kill me when she listens to us, but I don't really care. But it was funny, because I was like, well, I like this guy. I didn't really know the guy. I was like, you know, I liked him, because I said he made eye contact with you. He seemed really real. Like, I suppose this other guy, for example, that was like a douchebag. It's like, you really, I don't like, well, I didn't really know the guy. I was like, I liked him because I said he made eye contact with you. He seemed really real. I suppose this other guy, for example, that was like a douchebag. It's like, you really, I'm like, well, what is it? I was trying to explain to him, I was like, why I thought, because I only met him for

three seconds. I'm like, why I thought he was a good guy was because he looked me in the eye. He smiled, really big smile. He just seemed confident and he just seemed solid and confident. It was confident. It was eye contact. It was the way he was standing and he was asked me. Solid. It was happening. It was that I contacted, it was the way he was standing and he was asked me if I wanted to drink, but he was comfortable with himself.

Yeah, comfortable in your own skin. It's huge. Yeah. And the thing is a lot of guys are going, well, I don't want to be fake. And here's the thing, you're not being fake. You're not normally a nervous fucking wreck when you're talking to people that you're friends with.

We're teaching you how to talk to strangers like you talk to your closest friends. Exactly. That's all we're doing. We're not, guys are like, or a lot of girls who are like, I'm gonna be a harsh critic. They're like, I don't wanna get used to fake. There's nothing fake about being confident.

In fact, if you do this stuff enough, the mind follows the body and the body follows the mind. If you show confidence in your mannerisms, you start to become more confident, which allows your body to be more confident, which allows your mind to be more confident Which allows your mind to be more confident? It's a virtuous cycle and that's a good thing because then eventually you encounter situations where you're like Oh, this is unknown and maybe dangerous and you're like, you know what?

I got this whereas if you're normally a nervous fucking mess You're like, uh, this throws me off even more and I'm freaking out again You need this will help you all across the board. It has kind of like fake it to you make it in a way It is but that's what we all do and I'm freaking out again. You need, this will help you all across the board. It has kind of like fake it till you make it. It's fake to you make it. It is, but that's what we all do. And I'm still faking this. I don't even know what sex, what am I talking about? You have a sex tip.

No, I have it. I feel like for me it's like three weeks, not a long time. Okay, so I have a question. So what about sex tips? Like, does this guy's must always ask you like, how do I escalate it from friendship? It's just sex. So what?

We spend a whole day. What are the big issues that like you think that men come people who just ask me like, what are the top questions you get asked? Like, what about, yeah, you have a whole day issues that like you think that men come people who just me like what are the top questions you get asked like what about yeah you have a whole day about sex in your book. It's not about sex it's a whole day that's about touching and sexual escalation. So what that is is guys are like well great dates are going well she's like laughing and she might even be like touching my arm like swatting at me when she when I make like a joke or playfully teaser but like I don't know what to do from there. So we spend a whole day teaching a system of touch and sexual escalation. And that's not like what to do in bed. It's like, okay, you met there in the first three minutes.

How do you touch and relate in the first three minutes? Okay, now you're in a rapport or a connection phase. How do you touch and rapport and like the connection phase? What do you do? And again, we videotape it. They practice on female instructors. The female instructors give them like actual feedback. Like listen, your hand is lingering a little bit too long. Put it over here, this is a more comfortable spot. Or don't do this because this is uncomfortable for women. Or this seemed way too tenuous and unnatural.

Don't do that. This is so interesting. They can, right, because our certain places, like, you always know, it's not just because I've been studying this for a long time and read all of it, whatever, but when I'm on a places, like, I always know, I'm just just because I've been studying this for a long time and read all of whatever. But when I'm on a date with guys, I always notice when they touch me that it, me, I always think that are they doing this, like that, that it means something like that they're interested, I always think.

It's like where they touch me. Like if they start touching me, like in uncomfortable places, too early on, like they put their hand on my waist and like, I just met you like, just dating. And last week, we just met, he picked me up. It was a blind date. We're walking to our right and he like put his arm around my waist like in this really uncomfortable, creepy way too much. And then it didn't really get touching my hand. It was like too much. But then there's guys who do it lightly, like maybe once or twice of the night. And that made me more comfortable. Yeah. It's lightly brushed my arm or like touch my hand or like, oh, you know what? But it's not. It wasn't

creepy lingering. So you kind of teach them how to watch that line. To see if they had to walk the line. Because they really, it's really is a slippery stuff. Like, you can go, it can go either right. Yeah. And we have a lot of little, like, little tricky, cool things that guys can apply. Like, for example, you know, when you're walking with a girl that you just met on a first date,

do the old school thing where you put your arm out, she'll love that because one, guys don't do that. And two, you gotta do it right. Like, you lift your elbow up, she will thread her arm through the right way and then put your elbow back down onto your body. Now you're touching her in two places. And then if things are, like,

if you have to make a turn or go through a doorway where you can't both go through, slide your arm down so that her hand goes down to yours and grab her hand, not super tight or anything. And then you can walk her into the restaurant and then you can either go back up or you can keep holding hands. That's good. Don't look at it and like make a big deal out of it and you know what you can do is you can also say like good now we're all set and you can give her hand

like a little squeeze. If she squeezes back it's a huge sign of interest. If she doesn't it doesn't mean she hates me. It means nothing. Do you teach in the center what are the signs that she hates you then? You know what short-curt lack of eye contact, whipping out the phone. I mean, don't know when to whip out their phone on the day. It's obvious stuff like that she's disengaged. Right. She's, you know, kind of just waiting to get the hell out of there. But that's why we don't do dinner dates.

We teach, again, we teach like appropriate first dates. Like dinner dates. What is appropriate? What's your idea? I think so too. I don't want to go to a movie and sit next to a movie where we can't like is it weird to share popcorn? I've to touch you whatever I know you and we're not even talking to get in to each other right not interacting like you're being entertained in a dark room That's something you do as a couple or the total platonic friend dinners also bad because you're especially for a first date because

Now you're like awkwardly at this formal meal. It's really strange like you're eating which no one looks good eating so like she's all self conscious about it And you order something that's like safe and then she's like crap who's paying for this exactly You're like do I pay which the answer is yes you do you guys you always pay Yeah, there's a lot of the like the pickup artists guys are like don't don't buy or anything Like I hate that fire something if you asked her out, fire or something, you never split. You have me split than I'm splitting. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's like, I'm gone from your life.

I've just deleted your phone number. Yeah, and it's a guy, I get why they don't do that because they're like, I've been taking advantage of, take the power back, but truth be told, that's just some weird crap that like, that pickup guys are doing because it makes them feel powerful. It doesn't work. It doesn't work at all, no, she's pissed.

She's like, why, you know, maybe some worlds are like, oh, I'll get them to pay next time or whatever, but I'm just like, out if a guy doesn't pay. Yeah, I know. So what about texting and sexting? Well, let's first start with texting. Guy gets a woman's phone number, shitty text first or shitty call.

I'm sure he'll call. I would say call, it shows a little more balls. Here's the thing, here's, actually, it depends. If I meet a girl, say I meet a girl in a bar, we're still in the bar, I leave the bar, she's, you know, because I get up in the morning or she leaves or something like that. I might text within like a few hours,

like, hey Emily, great meeting you. Hope, you know, I'll call you tomorrow, we'll set something up, sign Jordan. That way she doesn't go, who is this? Because that sucks. Okay. But it makes sense because she might be testing you she might have met three dudes none of your fucking business Anyway, you sign it so it doesn't look weird then she goes Jordan or you give her a nickname and that's what you say

Oh my god guys are always talking about the nicknames give a woman a nickname right away. Yeah Yeah, I wouldn't I don't really do that, but it can be fun. Like example. It Example, I mean here's the thing it always goes back to sort of like callback humor like I'm trying to think of a of an example that happened in real life to me recently not recently, but like you know the past couple of years There's like a girl who maybe like spills something on you. You know, you can be like, hey, like what's up, Clotsie McSelope pants, like good meeting you.

I'm sending you my dry cleaning bill. Yeah, sending you my dry, let me know where to send the dry cleaning bill. Yeah, something like that. But like you don't have to call her Clotsie McSelope pants in her, in everything. Exactly. But you can totally save her number is that.

And then when you call her, you know, you take a screenshot of what's on your phone And you can send that as a message and she's like, do you really save my number is clutchy mix? Yeah, that's funny. So it starts that right makes it intimate so she feels like oh about this It's a kind of intimate thing. It is it won't cause you a nickname We don't even realize that you're doing it. No, it's all subconscious because the people that have nicknames in your life for those that are closest to you Right exactly. So what about so you text them and and you text them and then you call them for the first date.

What are sexting? You know what? You can sext when you have been dating for a while. I don't have a hard and fast rule with this. I would say, well, actually, you know what? That's bullshit. After you sleep with her in real life, then you can be like, hey, that was super hot. Right.

You're super foxy. Like, I'm daydreaming about it. Don't do that before you have, because then it's just kind of like, you, are you trying to, like, what are you doing? And then when we're thinking, oh, he only wants sleep with me, and that could be a turn off. So I say don't escalate it and take it up together,

because there's so many people are like, have full on sexing before they even meet someone. And then you meet him and it's so robust. And they're like, I'm not even, anyone I've been fucking appetizers with him. And I was just talking about, you know, sucking you on this test. Yeah.

No, it's bogus. The way that it starts with, that, okay, I'm just gonna give it. Do it. Jenny's gonna kick my ass, but like, girlfriend. Yeah, girlfriend, she's gonna kick my ass. The way that it started with us,

I don't really remember, but it was, probably something like, after we'd slept together, I was like, hey, that was hot, daydreaming about it. And I think she straight up sent me a photo of her like in Provac, not like gross one, but like something kind of sexy. And I was like, oh, that's how it's gonna be, huh? Okay, all right.

And then I was like, boom, you know, and that's how that sort of escalated. Because she let her and she started it. Yeah, well, she started that, how that sort of escalated. Because she let her and she started it. Yeah, well, she started that, she like took it to that level. But I'm sure that I started by being like, yo, last night it was amazing, you're super hot. Like, you know, stuff like that.

But that was already like, we were already close, we already like slept together a couple times. It wasn't like, great meeting you last night. Can't wait to see them tit is in my face. Right. And don't do that at all. Yeah, because guys do that shit. And I'm like, no wonder she doesn't want to see them titties in my face. Right. And don't do that at all. Yeah, because guys do that shit.

And I'm like, no wonder she doesn't want to meet you. Like the pressure's on now. She thinks all you want is sex and she's probably right. Yeah, I had a guy that I just made, he said me some sexy photos of you. Here's one of me. I'm like, oh, delete it. I didn't even remember I just met you.

Like, we're not going. That's what don't prematurely sexed and get into a total texting thing. So, but let's go back to the first date. So not a good idea, dinner, not a good idea, movie. What is the perfect first date? One of the things that we always say to do at the Art of Charm is to invite her

to something you're already doing. So, here's, I've broken this rule a million times, but I'll do it depending, again, like, learn the rules, master them, so then you can break them because you know when you can break them, right? I think Einstein said something like that. It was like Dolly Lama. Yeah, one of them, sorry.

There's a wise, a wise mofo said that. And so like, first date with Jenny, we went to a place and we ate dinner, but I would never normally do that. Like, first date to my pastor, like, hey, I'm going to hike Runyon Canyon on Saturday. Why don't you join me? And like, she's like, whoa, and I've had girls who could show up

and they're like, my friends told me not to come because they're like, what he's asking you on a hike. That's bullshit. He's cheap and she's like, actually, I love hiking. Right, right. And so she showed up and she's like, this person is cool. Right. And there's other times where I'm like, hey listen, I'm going to the Dodgers game with like three of my friends, we have another ticket. Do you want to come with us?

And she's like, normally, wouldn't want to be stuck with random people I just met, but I freaking love baseball and you seem cool. Right. Because we were already talking on the phone, I've this app that called Voxer that I used to like voice message people. She'd like looked me up on Facebook.

And I was like, and I even wrote, no worries. We can drive separately. If you think I'm weirdo, you can just bounce no harder. And she's so like, I threw it out there. So she wasn't like, so here's the thing. If ending three rolls up and she's like,

there's no chemistry, she can be like, you know what, I kind of have to get going and I'm like, don't worry about it. And she's not worried about me like fucking sending her like death. Right, because women are worried. That's what guys have to understand is that we have a lot of, like we have a lot of red flags to go up

where so we have a lot of just barriers that can go up and dates are worried, like safety. Yeah. We want to feel safe and we're like not sure if you're a creep or maybe we've been hurt before. You just don't know, like to go and and I hate being trapped. Like I always want to drive on dates. Like I, at first date, like I don't want to pick me first date like I don't have somebody pick you up as a woman.

Never always pick me up. Always offer to pick her up. If she says no, totally fine. Yeah. So give her the option. Don't be like, all right, when should I pick you up? You can be like, hey, I'm totally down to pick you up or we can just meet there. Give her the option.

Give her the option. And don't be so like controlling and say like this or that. I totally absolutely agree with you. Those are all good stuff. First dates, meet it at a place near her place. You can even offer to do that. Or you can offer to meet near yours, which then it makes no sense for you to pick her up. And then that gives her that out there. Exactly. Don't meet in between. That's stupid. Both of you have to drive. Neither of you know the area generally. If you live like an LA when one lives in the same neighborhood. I know, at least hard for dating.

And plus, if you guys super slam hit it off and you wanna go back and like chill, now you're like 10 miles away from yours and 10 miles away from yours. Right, good point. This is like, I love that you have broken this down into a science of what to do and what not to do. The articharm team has spent years,

and there's like a shit load of us trying new stuff and being like, guys new rule, don't do this and this and this and then we'll all follow that and we're like oh exceptions are like we had flow charts and spreadsheets back in the day Oh my god, we wrote a book on texting that literally we had 15 guys sending We we had sent 3000 text messages per month every month for a year and kept spreadsheets of what worked and went through that. Come on, with different women.

Oh yeah, hundreds of women. Guys would die for that. Can they still buy it? Yeah, how to text girls.com? That's where it is. And the best part is like Cosmo picked it up and was like, none of this shit would work and then all these self-aware, like all these haters posted. And then a bunch of like really cool self-aware girls were like this would totally work

I've done this I did this this was me I was sucking him Girls are like yeah the nickname in the book is stupid. It's like midget ninja like you know banana pants Yeah, that's dumb, but they're like admittedly my boyfriend calls me dumb or shit than this and it works and I love it So like what most of the Most of the time when women argue, oh, this would never work on me, they're just not self-aware enough to realize that it will. They don't want to think that anything works on them.

They want to think that it's not that scientific that it's chemistry, that it's something else. But like women who are not 22, that are like 30 plus, they're the ones who go, oh, thank God someone's teaching guys this shit. Yeah, teach them how to do it. These guys just keep messing up over and over again Not all men, but they could take class. They could listen to sexual belly podcasts. They can they can do that or artichard and podcasts

Which you can find in iTunes. I was gonna read but first I guess thing We're gonna read an email from one of the peeps I think that you can help out with but I need to ask you Jordan since we kind of had this ongoing thing and I need to ask you about your kegels because oh, yeah I have an iPhone app called kegelcamp as you all know if you've been listening to the show. It's an app for your iPhone that you it's for men and for women to do your exercises, you download it and every day pop you can set a timer that says time for kegelcamp but I do that.

People think it's for women. It's more men of email me about it. Jordan, there's twenty levels. What level are you? I'm on level 19 bitches. I you're the more men of email me about it. But Jordan, there's 21. I love it. What level are you? I'm on level 19, bitches. 19. You're the only people have emailed me the favorite thing. I don't know anyone.

So tell me how it has improved your life. I'm struggling to get a lot of cheesy muscles. It's so funny. First of all, my girlfriend and I are competitive. So she's like, I'm almost there. What level is she on? You know what? She's doing 19 with me when she's there.

In her car, she's doing level 13 or something. I'm just impressed. I'm not even there. But here's the thing, it's hard now. Levels till 10, I was like, this is not that bad. I was cruising and doing it three times a day. Now I do it once a day and I'm like, oh my god, when is this over? How long do you hold them for?

Level 19. It's like 38 seconds and you're like, dude, and you have to do like nine of them. So you're holding this, holding this, holding this, holding this, you like, I gotta remember to breathe and stuff. I have to breathe. And I didn't before, before I was like, whatever, I don't have to remember to breathe.

Now, when your guidance thinks as a remember, you can like, 38 seconds, holding on. That's crazy. And yeah, and it's awesome because I'll tell you. Tell me how it's improved your sex life though. Not only. I was of impact in your life. not only can I go a lot longer But I can get to that point where I'm like on the brink and I can be like nope

I'm shutting it down and it's like Hoover Dam just slam shut and you're like boom And you don't feel because until you do until you have really strong PC muscles you kind of can't really control ejaculation right which is a huge problem for so many men. They're like thinking about baseball. And then now if you, so the PC muscles are basically what we're talking about, are those peace-stopping muscles. So when you stop and start the flow of urine,

and that's what you tense and relax for five minutes a day. Jordan's doing it for, it's insane. I'm so glad because when we launched it, it was only 10 levels, and then all these people emailed me, like I've gotten to level 10, so I love it. I'll give you more, yeah, 20, 30 now. Okay, so tell me what anything else,

or sex, and how about your girlfriend? How is it in fact? She's like, holy crap, this is amazing. And also, I'm not gonna, like, this is TMI, but it's your show about sex. Right. When I get, like, when I used to like get like a rouse or whatever, I'd be like, oh, I've got a little bit

of a boner. Now I'm like, oh my God, I have to like go and fix this, like by talking it in the waistband, like I'm 15, because it's so freaking hard. Because of the piece, you're piece of work. Yeah, oh, absolutely, like the pump, or whatever I'm working on. You're like 30, how old are you?

33, so you're not like a, so you see a market difference. You should be my spokesperson. For Kyle Camp, because literally your boners are harder and stronger now. So much harder. I'm dying, can you take a picture? Just kidding, but really, with the my ball, ocean on it, that's amazing. That's the thing I'm telling you, is like, you know, there. So much harder. I'm dying, can you take a picture? Just kidding, but really, with my baller shot, that's amazing.

That's the thing I'm telling you is, there's a pump or whatever. I'm done for telling you to do it too. I'm not the only one. It's not like I'm saying they're good for you. Everyone says they're good for you. It works, it works. And it's like, now I feel like I've got teenage boners again.

And I'm like, holy shit. Because it's like whatever is used to fill it up. Like the muscles and then that do it are so strong now that it's like Boom like it's like it's potent That's amazing because I've heard so many guys and I've I've actually witnessed this with men as they get older They just don't have that teenage erection anymore. You don't you can obviously don't you can literally hang a towel from my Bona now you can oh my god, please send a picture of towel for the runner I want to share that is amazing so anyway i just because jordan like will randomly send me

tax of like screen shot of like eleven nineteen rich and i'm not not of my book about of his cable camp so i don't want to check it out i'm talking about a few years but now here's a man that can tell you that it really works and i know people are are going or whatever i do my kiggles at red lights know you fucking don't you talk about it and you don't remember to do it It's $2 or something like three bucks. Yeah, it's an app. Yeah, it's a $2 app that will change your life

Okay, change your sex. Okay, so we have time for an email and then we're going to have to say goodbye to you Which is really sad because you're gonna come back. Hi Emily I've just listened to your podcast show for the first time in the UK. I'm a sporty 26 year old guy who likes to party and Socialize with my friends, but unfortunately I can't seem to get laid in nearly over a year. I meet and get with girls in clubs, etc. get their numbers and start texting, but then nothing seems to develop. Is it something I'm doing wrong or can you advise how I can get this sorted out or is it just bad timing? Please to hear from you soon, Edward.

Okay, so this is tough because and I'm gonna be as fast as I can. This is tough because there's not enough info here. And that's a thing. Guys always go, oh, I'm getting stuck here. It's like, no, you're not. You think you're getting stuck there, but that's kind of like saying, why are you sick? Oh, because I have a sneeze and a cough,

and my throat hurts. That's not why you're sick. It's not what you have, it's a symptom. So like, women aren't answering your texts. Well, if you're meeting girls at a club, maybe they're giving you the number, maybe they're enthusiastic about it, or maybe they're trying to get rid of you, we don't know. Right.

Two, if they are giving you the number and they're like, cool, call me in your texting, well, now they're like, what's up with this guy? And also, what are you texting? Because if you're like, most guys, you're texting, hey, what's up? How is your day? And that's like, not going to answer this shit because it's not compelling. Exactly. So guys, this guy just asked me out and he sent me this text like, yeah, I've had a really long week at work.

So I kind of got a weird schedule doing what I do for a living. Period, that was a text. I mean, you gave me nothing. I'm so bored. I even forgot who you are. And I'm gonna delete your number. Like guys have to be more provocative

during your time. It needs to compel a response. Also, you should just call. And and the other problem is here's the thing You're meeting a girl in a bar in a club. It's like in lights She's like in party mode. She's had three drinks Then would you send that lame ass text the next day? She's fucking ironing and doing laundry, so she's like and she just had a fight with her mom Exactly so she's like I don't feel like dealing with this like you catch her in this emotional state when you get her number

And then she's in a different emotional state when you send her a lame, non-compelling thing. The problem is we always filter communication in our own emotional state, and that's why you can say something to your girlfriend, like, hey, are you still screwing around on Facebook and you're like, fuck you! And you're like, what happened?

Right, exactly. Because she's pissed about something else, but she filtered that as you being a dick. So like, you're, he's probably screwing it up there. He's probably screwing it up in the timing. He's probably screwing it up the fact that he needs to call and the logistics aren't there. Texting is not for saying, hey, what's up?

Yeah, it's for like, Hey, what's me, you. Yeah, no, that's like, you can do that that night. Then call the next day and be like, Hey, super cool meeting you. I'm going out again to this place. Why don't you come with us? Yeah.

Bring your girls, I'll bring some of my friends. Now you're in a group thing, because she doesn't know you. She met you in a club. The safety factor's not there. She doesn't know anything about you. You thought each other was hot last night at 4 a.m. That means nothing.

Exactly. She's gonna go back there and get hit on by 50 more dudes. So he's probably a totally a normal, cool guy. He's just not, he's not fishing right. He's not fishing right now. Okay, so everything I think Jordan has said this entire hour will probably help you out of this, but thank you for helping us with Out of Work.

Anyone can email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. One more thing I need to talk about is oral sex. Uh, oral sex, how's your oral sex life? It's good. You get a lot of oral sex? Yeah. Okay, that's good. I'm Emily from sexwithemily. good. You get a lot of oil sex? Yeah. Okay, that's good.

I'm Emily from sexwithemlee.com. Crazygirlproducts.com carries unique, fair-bon-infused products that make you feel sexy and confident. I'm crazy about their wannabe naked shave cream. It's made perfectly for your more intimate areas. No shave bumps or ingrown hairs. Use coupon code Emily25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com. Wait, tell me where you're... The artofcharm.com is where you can find the details

on our boot camps in LA. We have a ton of free crap there. The artofcharmed.com slash podcasts is where my show is. Some of it. And you can find us in iTunes, search for the art of Charmed. I love it. I love seeing you Jordan. Okay, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithem Emily.com. Thank you.