Sex With Emily - SWE: Understanding Females

Episode Date: January 19, 2012

How to know when to 'take' a woman, men with money vs. men without money, why men don't like to undress women, finding the right porn for you and your partner, guest John from OneTaste (retreat for orgasmic meditation) talks about the art and craft of the female orgasm, what OM'ing means, his first time giving a clitoral massage, what men get from focusing on female pleasure, the shared euphoric orgasm, redefining orgasm, and the importance of understanding the female body, mind, genitalia and orgasm. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that block our sacred institutions Been through eyes they call them a bygone Hey, Emily you got a boyfriend because my man E here He just got his heart broken he thinks you're kind of cute The world's got a standard oh my the women know about shrink know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm gone. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemlee.com, which is the place to go for all your sex information. So hopefully you'll go there right now and check it out. And many of you are watching this live, which we so appreciate.

It's Monday through Friday, one to two, except for Wednesdays. It is free Friday right now. I love free Fridays. We all get to watch the show, no matter who you are, where you are, where you're living, free Fridays. It's awesome, right, Menace?

Yep, so love free Friday. Sex with Emily.com. Money. It's awesome, right, menace? Yep, so it's definitely.com. Sexorthendly.com. Money through Friday. Right, right. Seven Wednesdays, right? 1 p.m. Pacific Standard Time. Thanks. So it's good.

Yeah. What's going on? Awesome. Lot going on. It's a big weekend, big Labor Day weekend. No, you decided on the cabin trip. Going to my friends cabin at a lake, on a lake, up near your, it's kind of like two hours from your 70, I always forget exactly where it is,

but it's like in the middle of somewhere. It's like three hours from here. How many people are gonna be at this cabin? Six. Six people. Yeah, it's gonna be a couple and me and two guys friends. Oh, two guy friends. Yeah, and it's gonna be, let's see,

you did it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it it. How many of the guy friends have you had sex with? One. So you will had sex with? One. So, will you have sex with that? No. He's my ex-boyfriend and we dated years ago. We haven't had sex in years and years and years. He's like my best friend.

He took my dog. He has my dog right now. I know. He said my dog for five days. Yeah, you should have sex with them then for... I'm for watching my dog. I'm not interested in having sex with him anymore. So, actually, so there's a couple and it's, I know it sounds weird, but it's just you, we go through

this every year when I go to the cabman, there is not a lot of sex that goes on. What about the weirdo that you're dating? Like is he like some art guy or something? Well, we're not. We're not. Oh, he's going away with some friends. Oh, okay. We're not spending the weekend together.

Okay. We don't do that. That's on. Yeah. Okay. I said that's odd. Why? Because we're hanging out with each other. You would't do that. That's odd. Yeah. Which is that's hot. I said that's odd. Why? Because they were hanging out with each other. You would spend the weekend. Yeah, but I've already planned and he's already had plans and it's cool. Cool. What? What? What? I'm not I'm not like yeah, I think it's better this way. I like to be in my peeps because I need I haven't had a

friggin vacation in in in in in years. Literally. So long. Every time I take vacation, I go see my family, which is not a vacation, by the way. And so I'm just gonna get a ton for a few days and show. What are you gonna do? You're gonna go music concerts and stuff like that. Yeah, going to see little Wayne tonight. And then tomorrow I'm going to electronic festival, your favorite.

Yeah, sorry on the show. Rest of the weekend probably is to hang out in the good old San Francisco. Love it. Yeah. Okay. Well, today's show I want to be a very special guest. I'm so excited.

Okay, as you know, I've been talking all week about my orgasmic meditation retreat. Nicole De Don, who's the founder of One Taste, who's on the show a few months ago. And then I went on my retreat last weekend, which we've talked about where I got my clitoris stroke by strangers. However, one of the strangers is no longer a stranger. We are friends, I think, for life. He's here. John, he's going to be talking about the whole experience and what he does there and his

whole practice. So I'm excited about that. And then we've also got some emails. We'll be reading some topics, including being dominated in the bedroom, undressing women and erection issues, erection issues are coming up a lot lately. Why? I don't know. How do we have pills for that?

We do have pills for that, but I don't know. People don't necessarily want to pill. They want other fixes, which there are other fixes, which we talked about all the time. You can call us now if you have any questions. Two, four, one, five, three nine two and we've got a poll results to our latest poll. Okay. I really wanted to see the results for this poll because I thought it was interesting.

Which one? Which one of these constitutes cheating? Yeah. Okay. Ready? Okay. One percent said watching porn. Okay.

Three percent said thinking sexually about someone else. Wow, seven percent said receiving a lap dance. Confiding on intimate level 25 percent. And a whopping 64 percent said sexting someone else. I said a machine too. But that's the one that people think the most is% said sexting someone else. I said it was sheen too. But that's the one that people think the most is cheating is sexting. Yeah.

I do that all the time. I know, see. I'm not cheating. I'm just having fun. I'm not with anybody. You're not with anybody. It's a great way to get. So 64% that's like a major gap there.

That's amazing. OK, so yeah, but I agree that sexting and all this other stuff and whatever, cheating is different for everyone. Okay, our latest, our new poll is up. Why don't you want to have sex with your partner? Here are the reasons. Why don't you want to have sex with your partner? Okay, one, you're angry about something.

Like, think about the times in your life when you have a one of sexing. Why is it usually? Okay, you're angry about something, you're overwhelmed with work. Sex has become boring. You're no longer attracted to your partner. You want someone else. When have you stopped having sex with your partner? Being too drunk and passed out. I'll pick the last one. You want someone else. I want somebody else. So you're over her. Yeah. Really? So you're just like one day shut it off. Is that how it happened you? Yeah, I was talking to this last night that I was dating this guy at all of a sudden So you're over her. Yeah. Really? So you're just like one day, shut it off. Because that would happen to you.

Yeah. Like I was talking to this last night that I was dating the sky at all of a sudden, this biomestake, like one of these relationships I was in this year that I bi-mistake, like committed to him because he asked me to and I did

and it was a mistake for two months. And then I also went, I was just completely grossed up. I'm like, you walked out of that room, I was like, there's no way we're sleeping together ever again. And I'm done. Does that happen to you?

It just shuts off. It wasn't because there was anyone else. I just was completely unattractive. Yeah, there's no way we're sleeping together ever again. And I'm done. Does that happen to you? It just shuts off. It wasn't because there was anyone else. I just was completely unattractive. Yeah, there wasn't. But I think he's even saying. Yeah, wasn't anything sexual. It wasn't sexual, but he had said some things that were so offensive and so off and so wrong

and so not me that I was like, oh, we're done. Done and done, left the next morning. Yeah, I did. I could sleep over. I was like, it's kind of a little too late to leave right now, but because I was tired. Yeah. But that's why I ended that relationship.

Yeah. So last night I went to this big event. It's for the UCSF, Salesforce.com foundation is a big Salesforce.com is a huge company, based in San Francisco. And there's a foundation that they run. And they're building this hospital. And so they had this huge fundraiser and Alonso Morse that was there in J. Leno, who I got to meet both of them. It was really fun.

But there was four guys there that I've dated, and I was with the other guy that I've started dating, and it was kind of weird. It's kind of weird to be in a room. Like, are did you tell them? Well, one of the guys is kind of a known guy in the world that he knows that I dated, and then I didn't tell them all of them, but it was just kind of weird that they were all there,

because it doesn't happen that often. We walk into a room and we're like, I've been dated for a few. I don't know. It was lots of people it was just kind of weird that they were all there because it doesn't happen that often We walk into a room and we're like oh, I've been dated for a few I don't know it was lots of people there thousands of people there literally thousands and then will I am played and MC Hammer and it was a big night What boo on the MC hammer? Uh-huh, you would love them, but I just what has he gone though lately? Really? He's no, he's really a part of a lot of internet community stuff right now

There are a lot of people in internet community like him, but I... There's some personal stories that I know, so I dislike him. Oh, okay. So, he can suck it. Got it. He can suck it. Suck it, suck it, I'm seeing him. I like him.

I always see him around at parties and stuff. Yeah, he's always out and about. So yeah, that was my night night and then it was super fun. Yeah, Jay Leno, he was funny. He got me the whole thing, but I don't love him. He's not my favorite. It's all about Letterman. I know.

I had the interview. I was supposed to interview him for this thing, but I didn't, but I was going to be like, what, yeah, what did you tell me to say to him? I said, how come David Letterman is so much funnier than him? Yeah, I wasn't going to say that to him. That would have been offensive. So that was my night. And then, yeah, I'm excited for the weekend.

And I want everyone to know that we are still having our Facebook event happening. If you want three free months of sex with Emily, you just have to like the Sex with Emily fan page. And we're picking someone every single day as a winner to win three months of sex with Emily. And if you'll become a friend's benefit's member, and there are so many benefits to it,

you say, I get all your emails, and your emails go right to the top. We give you all the sex information you need. You can also get free Fire TV, FYRETV, which is like porn for 30 minutes. And it's awesome. It's a Netflix of porn, any kind of porn you want, you can get and check that out. So if you're a friend's benefit member, you get that. Sweet, one more thing. We're at the Stitcher Studios here in San Francisco.

And Stitcher is an app that you can download for free for your smartphone, iPhone, you know, droid, iPad, tablets, whatever the hell you can get an app on. And you just search Sex with Emily, it'll pop right up. If you're friends with Venice that benefits a member, you'll get the entire show. All you need to do is put in your password once. If you don't have a password, go to sexplumly.com. And that's it. That's good, menace.

What's wrong? You seem sort of down. You seem sort of low energy today. I'm not. I'm fine. Are you sure? Yeah, I'm totally fine. Yeah, I'm totally fine. I ate. I'm good.

Okay. I'll just get that out of the way. I was trying to remember. No, I appreciate it. I wasn't with that. I was with that. I was your overall aura. No, I'm good.

Okay. I'm ready to go. Awesome. Oh my God, now are you gonna be throwing off? No, nothing. I'm totally fine. I'm totally fine, I'm ready to go. Okay, so this is the game. This is an email. Hell yeah, we should get into some emails.

Okay, we're gonna skip sex in the news today because we've got a special guest here. Sex in the news suck today, by the way, because I checked the news. There wasn't a lot of sex in the news. It's hard to find sex in the news, everybody. Oh, one story. Go. One story a lot of sex in the news. It's hard to find sex in the news every day. One story. One story is the best story that I heard was

Chris Humphreys, who's Kim Kardashian's new husband, randomly was getting on a flight in first class and guess who is sitting in first class right next to him? Ray J, the guy that did the sex tape? Look where he is. No way. Chris Humphrey didn't know who he was. He just sat down.

Holy moly. And so Ray J went out to him and said, come on dude, you know who I am. He goes, I just want to congratulate you. And he didn't know? And then he kind of just blew him off. Right. Oh my God. That's a good story. That's a good, is that like all over the,

all over the TV? Okay, let me, I have a new story. It's a personal new story. You're gonna be, you're not gonna believe this. What? Yesterday, I ordered, I didn't do it. My intern did it because I couldn't pull the trigger myself. Cable.

Shut the hell up. Nope. We got the TV, menist made me get a TV, like six months ago, which I've not turned on yet. And I haven't had cable ever, like since college, whatever. So I got everything, every channel, HBO, the whole thing, starting in two days, because I have to start watching more television.

You gotta know what's going on. I don't know how, where to even start. And I got the DVR, the whole thing. So what's happening is it's being installed on Tuesday. What? We got to set up your DVR, too. Because you want to show me any of that. You want to know how to do.

Dude, I can't even turn the TV on. Yeah, true. Now you're going to have another remote to handle. I hate that. And yeah, OK, so let's get in some emails. Okay, what do you got? Swag up. Emily, enjoy your show and appreciate the way you educate and entertain at the same time. You were talking to one of the interns last week and the topic turned to men with confidence

being sexy and that women generally like it when a man takes them. And why don't men do that more? Taking a woman is a high risk play for a guy, even when you're in a relationship. I'm sure there are some women who never object to being taken, but make that move at the wrong time and the risk is not worth the reward. It's all about timing. Women that like that and want more of that would, in my opinion, do well to make sure the partner knows the look that says the time is right. Or appreciate the thought, need a rain check. Shut down in this situation can be brutal and it may be a long time before the guy tries it again. One man's perspective, the good work Jeff.

So what we were talking about, you were not here last Friday, but I interviewed one of my interns about her sex life in great detail. And she, you were both saying that it was super hot when a guy just like takes you, like throws you against the wall, not every time, like, not abusefully,

not whatever, I'm not saying that. But like just fucking like has to have you and takes you and like you against the wall not every time like not abusefully not whatever I'm not saying that like just fucking like has to have you know and takes you like rips your like like I want to get in the door yeah totally and so he's saying but if I call you a bitch yeah okay good if you do it in a horror yeah whatever a classy way though totally successful yeah totally I that's hot, I think personally, whatever. Sometimes, not every time, like anything, everything's a moderation, right?

We don't want to get boring. But it's like, guys don't do that because the Jeff is saying he's afraid of getting shut down. So he needs more information from the woman, like, look, like, take me now. But we don't want to have to give you the look. We just want you to think to do it. Put in your calendar.

I haven't taken her like that in three months. Yeah, and then, you know what? Do a little reminder in your calendar, your Google calendar. And also, you know what, if she backs away and she's months. Yeah, and then you know what? Do a little reminder in your calendar, your Google calendar. And also, you know what, if she backs away and she's not into that then do you know what? You probably don't even want to get with that anyways. Why? Someone went on into it that way.

Yeah, then go on to the next one. Right. What are you saying? I'm saying that someone made my dad be in February. Okay, so she's- A lot of them just want to feel like a guy has control and like really wants to see desires us. Okay.

What should a guy do if he encounters the situation that she's not into it? How does he rebound from that? That's tough. But you got to move slowly. You got to do it slow. Like I wouldn't say, I wouldn't say that you, you could ease into it the first time. Just be like, I think you're so hot, grab her, whatever. And see if she's like, oh, that's too much.

And she reacts like I wouldn't just do it. Like do the whole thing. But then you just go back to whatever you're doing. But I think a lot of women like that. I think so too, but they just don't, they, again, they don't give you the sign. And then that's what guys always wait for the sign. Even when even figuring out if a girl likes you or not,

the guys don't even, you know, take that extra step to even say, this is how I feel about you because they, they get no signs at all. And even if a girl feels like a girl. They can't read signs. Yeah, even if a girl feels like they're giving you sign, the guy, the guy doesn't. Men are really bad at reading signs.

It's actually like, it's, actually, there was a study that came out a few years ago that said men actually are not as adept at reading the signs from women and from anyone. Like they just don't think they miss it. Like you, that's why you wait for all the women. You wait for women to throw themselves at you because you're afraid to get rejected by approaching a woman. You're afraid you're afraid. I'm not afraid of getting rejected. But I just do not, I cannot retind for shit. rejected by approaching a woman. You're afraid that you're gonna get rejected. I'm not afraid of getting rejected,

but I just do not, I cannot retind for shit, like at all. Okay. And then, you know, years later, somebody messaged me, oh, you know, I always like to do what? Like I didn't see that at all. Really? Yeah. I, I, okay.

I can't, I always assume, I don't know, I guess it's different you're right but then it's not that so you got to like if you're attracted to any of these women though like did you ever hear it from a woman did a woman ever come to you and say god menace i was totally wanted to get your pants and you're like damn why didn't i know that why didn't you make the move when you were attracted to her because i didn't think that she felt the same way. But so what? Why not just

put yourself out there and take the risk? Well, I know that now, but when I was younger, I was a pussy. I didn't think you're doing now, though. You're not even doing it now. I kind of do now, but now now I'm way more selective. I don't throw myself at it. You never threw yourself. Did you? I feel like you've always been safe. Okay. So anyway, the point of this is like, I get it. Like, there's some women that I'm not saying that every woman, no, there's actually, there's nothing that every single woman wants. We're all really, really different.

We were just saying, and my age is 20. What? They want money, that's what all women want money. Yeah, right, all women want money. That's one common ground. I actually think that money is, is, is a lot, someone who has tons of money,

it actually can hurt a relationship. Totally. Because it totally affects the... Dude, you know it. Really? There was actually a really interesting study the other day that I saw that said that men who make less money are actually more attractive partners to women because they're not douche bags.

What? Fixer uproot. No, they're not fixed uproot. They're just like more genuine and real and they're like, like guys who have tons of money they walk in a room, they're kind of cocky. They're like I've got this going on I don't really need to make effort with anybody because I'm so successful and I'm above everybody else But like the dude who's not like super wealthy or whatever, but like fine, you know He's just more like affable and gets along with everyone

There's like ten points of why you should a guy without money. It was very funny. I should bring that in Please Dexter, were you right that time? I won't remember Yeah, okay, let's move into this you should did a guy without money. It was very funny. I should bring that in. Please. So I'm right there. Next to you, right there. I won't remember. Yeah, OK, let's move into this next email. Dear Emily, men don't address women anymore because your clothes are a pain in the ass. Shirts are all different.

If they're tight and won't come over your head, it easily gets awkward. Tight jeans are hard to pull off. And now some of two buttons that take small fingers to manipulate. It's like completing a survivor challenge and get everything off. Start wearing easier clothes. Take the hard parts off and we'll do the rest.

Otherwise it starts to get uncomfortable and we just want to watch TV or laugh. I hope all is well, Jason from Baltimore. This probably stemmed from a conversation and I was saying, why don't men dress you anymore? This is like the same fucking thing. That's where I got today, sorry. Because you guys, that's why I don't want some crazy ass laundry. It's a pain in the ass to take off. No, but the thing is, is that there's something about slowly undressing a woman not being

like, can you just get naked now because we're about to have sex? Can you do that? That's for you. It's guy dated for a long time. He's like, why do you still have clothes on? That's how we would have sex. He's like, why do you still have your clothes on? I'm like, why don't you take them off me?

Like, once. Once. It's hot. Don't you see that's like, why do you serve your clothes on? I'm like, why don't you take them off me like once once It's hot. Don't you see that all the like just slowly take off my clothes? It's not that hard. It's so great. You don't take off a bra. You're like a grown man. You've taken off a bra before sometimes you guys The way that things are put together. It's insane But at least make the effort and you know what a button a shirt. Yeah. I'm wearing a dress, it just slips off right now, by the way. Well, you're easy. I am easy, but we know that.

Some women aren't. I know. So, when does that have you with a woman and you and dresser? Do you even remember? No, you're drunk. Okay. Okay. Um.

Okay. What? Nothing. You know what? It's the last day most is true. Go ahead. I know. I thought you were gonna fight me on that.

No. So you don't even remember how the clothes came off. You don't even remember the sex. Somehow they magically come off. Right, amazing. Or maybe they didn't. Maybe you just like, maybe they didn't.

I don't know. Whatever. It's all a days. Great. Sounds hot. Dear Emily, first off, just wanna say that my long term boyfriend and I are both recent listeners and we love your show. Our sex life is greatly improved from the discussions that stem directly from the topics

discussed in your show. However, we want to continue to strive for improvement and want to do your proposed 30 day sex challenge. While I'm all for having sex for 30 days straight, there is a slight physical limitation. I've had a problem in the past where after having multiple sex sex multiple times in a short time frame things started to feel a bit soren sensitive down there. After a certain point, Lou just doesn't seem to have any effect. Are there any tips or tricks for me to do this challenge with my boyfriend without it being so painful? Thanks Amy and Josh. Sure. So I talk about

the 30-day sex challenge where I think couples who are wanting to enhance their sex life, are struggling to get their connection back is to make this commitment that we're going to have sex every single day for 30 days no matter what like no matter what happens like kids are crying, use your job like too much work to do whatever the hell you have sex. So Amy if your experience pain I would say sex doesn't necessarily mean you have to have intercourse you could do other. You could give a central massage You could be you could stimulate him you could whatever like you stick it is off Belatias, it was a really popular something

You could even propably perform oral sex and you and it wouldn't hurt as much as the penetration like because it's on the outside Unless you stick your fingers inside, but basically there's other things you can do I would say that you are still a participant in a 30-sec challenge if you don't actually have an intercourse. But if you hurt and you're suffering and you're in pain, stop for fetus. There's always the butt. You have to give the vagina rest.

The butt. True, that's so true. Yeah, 30-sec challenge. I've actually never even done the 30-sec challenge myself, but I would like to, because I haven't been with anyone for 30-sec. I know, that's not true. Ofday sex challenge myself, but I would like to, because I haven't been with anyone for 30 days. I know. That's not true.

Of course I have. Of course I have before. They can't last the Emily Gauntlet. So not true. I have. Oh. You have the dog going to last 30 days. My dog lasted 60 days.

What? I had the dog for 60 days before I. Not entire, not a consistent 60 days. He took breaks. He took many vacations. Really hard being a single parent. Being a consistent 60 days. He took breaks. He took many vacations really hard being a single parent Being a single parent is really hard and I'm both really and I'm super super busy. Mm-hmm. Uh-huh. Okay, so Emily dear Emily my wife is somewhat open to watching porn with me however She's very conservative and finds traditional porn for men cheesy and she's not as interested

Interested as I am can you suggest a genre or perhaps some titles that may that are that are drugged more towards a woman's interest. I'm having troubles finding more erratic area of porn from Tom. Okay. So I love fire TV because there are sponsors and we love them. F-Y-R-E-T-V dot com. You can check out Fire TV, you can watch it anywhere on any of those places, iPad, iPhone, laptop, your television, you can get a set top box like I have with 20,000 titles of porn in my home, which I had before I had cable, which I don't have yet. But the point is, you can sort, if you don't want to go to Fire TV anywhere, there's lots

of websites at Meneve.com. That you can go to where they have, they, most sites do split porn into like, female friendly porn. Like there's a lot of porn that women that is made geared more towards women. And most of these sites that you go to will have that genre and break it down.

Usually women want the plots, men just want the, what do you want? We want the facials. Right. Yes. But let me tell you, I don't have Fire TV, but after seeing Fire TV, anybody that's used Netflix, started they've used Hulu,

or any network, television, website to watch a video online. Fire TV is set up through the categories and everything. It blows all those out of the water on how simple and you can find everything that you want to find in seconds. It's insane on how well it's put together. I wish they would advise Hulu and Netflix. I can never find anything on those freaking websites.

I know, it's really cool. And it's also like you can, yeah. So they have like women, friendly, erotica, and just like search around online. I don't have any like that come to my mind right now, but yeah, you don't even really like porn though. Yeah, I'm not a big porn washer. Right, I am now sort of, I mean, I, you, I didn't before, but now that I have 20,000 titles

in my home, it's awesome. You can get their set top box, which is cool. OK, let's move on to our guest. All right. OK. John, come on here. We've got to get close, which we've already done before. So we can do that.

Hold on, let me see. Mike is good. Go ahead. Hi. Hi. I'm going to say close to Mike. OK. All right. OK, let me see if it's Mike. It's good. Go ahead. Hi. Hi, that's a good turn of the mic. OK. OK, let me recap.

Hi. OK. Are we good on camera? Is this everything's happy? Yeah. OK. We're good. So there's an organization in San Francisco called One Taste.

And I've heard about them for a long time. And Col de Done the founder, was on the show, and it's all about the slow sex movement, the art and craft of the female orgasm in her book that she wrote. And yeah, it's all about orgasmic meditation, which I didn't really know much about, and Nicole was on the show, and she was like,

oh my god, because you know me, I'm kind of up for anything, like I have a psychic research it's research, right? And so Nicole was like, you should come on one of our retreats and I've always been like intrigued and like years ago I was at one taste but everyone's like, come in, come in dude. I'm like, ah, that's cool, that's cool.

I'm just gonna have a meal and leave. And then she was like, you have to do it, you have to come to this thing, not after. She's not like evangelistic about it but she wasn't forced to, but she was like, you should come do this thing. So I signed up for a weekend. I was like, okay I'm gonna do it and I did not know what to expect at all and if you want to listen to I believe it was this week's

Monday show Oh, no, it's Tuesday Tuesday. Oh, right because you were gone and men said to be here to make fun of me so Tuesday show I talked a lot about my experience there and so what I want to talk to Jason John is an active member of one taste. And he practices orgasmic meditation or omying as we call it. And so I learned all about it. So yeah, we should talk a little bit.

Let's recap on it. So how would you describe orgasmic meditation? With you or in general? Ha, ha, ha. We'll get to me in a second. OK. Well, first, yeah, well, first, like what got you to this whole thing, movement?

Good question. I, I think that's it. Hold on, hold on. Now we should explain what it is. Let's explain what it is first. OK, so I was trying to decide on my brain. I... Hold on, hold on. Now we should explain what it is. Let's explain what it is first. Okay. So I was trying to decide on a brain. I couldn't, yeah.

It's a practice where two people come together. It's usually a man and a woman. And it's a practice where the strokeer will put 100% of his attention on your genitals and on your clip, and he'll stroke for 15 minutes. And the only thing that you're supposed to do is pay attention to the sensation that happens. The woman's supposed to do is pay attention to the sensation. And the man as well. So the only thing he has to do is keep stroking and focus and pay attention to the sensation that he feels in his body as well. It's like a mindfulness practice where the only thing you're supposed to do is

come back to the stroke and come back to the sensation you feel in your body and that's it. If you've done that, you've done it. Okay. Yeah. Now there's a lot more in there, but that's like the basics. And you have to be trained, right? You can't just go in like off the street. We have like pretty extensive own trainer program where a lot of guys come in and they learn the technique. We're gonna just wear the microphone over there, sorry. Yeah, it's easier to talk in the way.

Plus like this. Yeah, better, better, yeah. Okay. So yeah, and it takes some time. It's like any craft like you might think, oh, you know, it's a finger and a clit and you can just go down there and Do your thing and it's done and it's actually

I've been doing it for about 18 months now and it really is a craft like it takes time to really understand not only the anatomy and the Sensibility it takes to stroke this like very delicate place and Then there's a lot of feeling things that happen and there's a lot of intuition involved a lot of things that you just start to sense Mm-hmm And we like to say on some level. It's like eventually you learn to play a very fine instrument

So like it takes time to get there too Right right like it takes time to get there too. Because you're fumbling at first and it's like a little nerve wracking and you think you know what you're doing and suddenly like during the headlights, you don't or I didn't at least. Yeah, most guys don't. Let's just say that most men do not. Most men are in, most men are where you were 18 months ago,

right? They're fumbling around that they kind of know the clitoris, they've heard of it, they've, but they don't really know what to do. I remember my first dome it was it was a disaster really? Like I was so nervous and I I didn't really know what I was doing and you're kind of confronted a bit because you think you know, and then all of a sudden, all the stuff comes up around performance, and pleasing a woman, and we're supposed to know everything, and somehow along the way, like that sex ed class

in eighth grade, like it doesn't count in a way. So it was a little humbling at first, and then slowly you kind of like get through some of the blocks blocks and then bam You hit a pocket of like pure sweet orgasm and everything changes right and how long did it take to you got to that point? Um, it happens in flashes like it probably took me a few months of fumbling right and sticking to it and quitting

It's like everything you you have to stick there. So what is the philosophy behind it? Like what, yeah, so now I want to know what would do there. Well, from what I've come to understand, it's like on a deeper level, it's like men have always been able to like go towards sex and have it and be and be the ones that can own it and have confidence there and take it if they want it. And in a way, what this practice is doing, it's starting to reverse that, where the woman can, in a safe space, truly, like, get into her own orgasm and experience it.

Because what happens is you start to get more full, fuller and fuller and fuller than the woman comes from full, and then the whole game changes. Like, when the woman is coming from empty, it's not the same, but a woman that's been oaming for a fair amount of time. Suddenly, she's full of sex and she's full of her own orgasm and she's on. And then suddenly, it's a totally different dynamic that happens between the man and the woman

when she comes from totally turned on and full. And that's what we're doing. We're stroking these women in order to get them like overflowing because then it kind of spills into us. So what do you get out of this? Good question. You know it's changed it's changed over the months like as of late I'd say the past six months is that I get to feel Her orgasm and it's excuse me and for Gina Don't give me wrong, right? Yeah, yeah, that's part of yeah, but yeah, no, no, no So is that why you signed up for this? We're like, oh, I get the touch random wins for Gina's or what?

You know like I be like, oh, I get the touch. Random Wins for China. So what? I know, like, I never had like a big problem, like getting women or hooking up or getting to that area. So it wasn't so much for me. Like, oh, I want to get in here because this will give me access. It wasn't so much about that for me personally. There are some guys that might come from that place and that's okay too, because after a while, after you do go through the experience

of what it takes to do it, it's not the... It probably weeds out those guys too. It kind of does, like a lot of these guys bounce. They bounce out because it's not quite what they expect to be. Okay, so, okay, then what do you get out of it then if that is not the goal? Well, it's starting to get to a point where

it's starting to feel so amazing for me when I do it. Like, it feels good. It feels really good. And sometimes, that's enough. Now does it lead, is it a good place to hook up with chicks or what? It can be, but it's intention because it's like a contained thing that we're really doing it to... well it's why it's in a container

right so it's 15 minutes the woman takes off her pants we get in to position we stroke the pants go back on and then we like to say after that whatever you want to do you can do but But it keeps the container fixed. So the woman can go into this place without feeling like, am I going to have to reciprocate? Do I have to do something here? And then what happens after everyone's an adult, you can do what you want.

So how much do I have to pay? Detachal random chicks for Gina, and then eventually maybe sleep with them. How much do you have to pay the touch or random chicks for Gina and then eventually maybe sleep with them? How much do you have to pay? Yeah. Oh, well, I mean you have to find you have to find a woman to stroke Mm-hmm, and then if you do you can come in and we teach you the very basic how much is the cost to be part of this organization? Well, it I think an home trainer session is a cost to be part of this organization. Well, I think an Ommtrainer session is 120 bucks. So you can come in, you'll spend about an hour and a half with our pitches. So I pay how much?

$125 and then you guys hook me up with random chicks. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no you have to find your own woman like we're not in the business of like finding women for men. But don't women women just come in and do this? There's we had well Emily asked me for no yeah so yeah yeah that's what it is. I did ask you okay I thought you were assigned to me at first. Now, how often do you masturbate after touching a woman's vagina that you just met? Um, if I'm honest, it's rare. It's interesting. Like, you would think that you would get into the position and have a heart on. And I would say most of the time you don't. It might seem strange. Like, how could you not? It's weird. It's almost like you can feel the energy of sex at times, but it doesn't always

necessarily lead to like an erection or like that thing happening. So it's and there have been some women over the past 18 months, a couple, a few come to mind where there was a lot of sex in the home and a lot of like literal turn on, where like the man would get an erection and that has happened to me, but I would say most of the time it doesn't. Okay, then I must have misunderstood

because I thought there was this women going to this and I thought women would just go to this and then you are the professionally trained Stroker So the stokers have to bring their own chicks. Yeah, there's like Again, like we don't pair men up with women to do this so if you want to come in and do it you would have to Find a woman but the one thing we do do is we have like one-taste events where like we'll have like an in-group or a special night where like a hundred people will be there and Most of the women in the room home and if you're there you you obviously are there with one one taste and you strike up a conversation

You strike up a chat about it and you know, so the girls you bring in those are your girls. You're not sharing them with anybody else, right? the So the girls you bring in those are your girls. You're not sharing them with anybody else, right? the He doesn't bring in girls he's saying there's like there's people who join the cake courses. I know I know I'm saying I go See sorry. This is the way it's explained is kind of I'm getting mixed answers here. Okay, to be honest. Yeah All right, so as a teacher you bring in the women, right? Or does a woman say I want to go, I want to take class. There's classes, there's classes. So when I was saying, you can touch random women's vagina.

You're like, no, I got to bring my own chicks in. Okay, that's the part that's getting confused here. Yeah, we do do courses as well that, like, for example, we'll have a gender-balanced course. So it'll be like 10 women and 10 guys. And then you're in the course for a weekend. And then over the course of the weekend, you make connections with people in the course. Then a desire might come up like, oh, I loved home with that with I loved home with her so then it's up to you to ask her

if the woman would like to like to you might get a no you might get a yes you might get a not sure and its intent is to give you the fertile ground to ask if you want and if you get a yes then you're free to home after the course yeah cool so I want to go back to what you said about it that it feels, because men is this question to you, it's first question was like, what do you get from it? And what you said, it's so hard to even explain, but you actually feel the woman's orgasm.

And that is very pleasurable. You feel it in your body. But I didn't happen the first few months, right? It didn't. But it's like any kind of meditation practice, which I've done, you know, it's like any kind of practice. Like the first time you go to the gym, you're not like, oh my God, that's amazing. It's like you have to practice those muscles.

So what does that feel like? Where does it, how do you feel it? What does it feel like? It's true what you said, like it doesn't happen immediately. It's been ridiculous as of late, I got to say. Like there have been some experiences in the past four or five months where like I Have felt like There's this like

euphoric like Crack feeling of like Like it's hard to explain. I know it's hard to explain orgasm Like how do I explain how your orgasm feels like I know's hard to explain. I know, it's hard to explain orgasm. Like, how do I explain how your orgasm feels? Like, I know, I can't even explain it. But it's like really euphoric and like high tinny, a pleasurable high notes. Right.

And there's a limbic thing that happens apparently when a woman goes into orgasm, like oxytocin is released. And then what happens when a woman releases that is that suddenly we're in a field together of oxytocin, which is the bonding hormone that happens at birth. So it's like that starts to happen within the OEM2. And then you pop up, like we did if you remember, and it was like, starts to happen within the home too and then you pop up like we did if you remember and it was like like there was no veil between us. Whereas normally to be honest there would have been a veil with you. Like I would have put a lot of story on you like you're like really hot

and this person and you come in and like all my story of like how am I going to be with a woman? Am I going to try to pick her up? Am I going to be cool? Am I going to like not show that I'm attracted here? And then suddenly we sat down, we had the ohm and we popped up and it was like like I could just be with you in a way that had no story on it. And that's why we're friends. I don't have to like be here in posture. Right. Right. And it feels good. Yeah. I'd be able to. to be here in posture. Right, right, and it feels good. Yeah. I'd be able to.

We broke down smalls. Humusage my clitoris. Yes. Yes, that's what we started. So yeah, and so what, okay, so do you want to talk about that experience? I thought you just did. No, well not enough.

We can get into it. What's wrong? No, nothing. Okay, so are you getting it more? Sorry. Yeah, no, I get it. I got it If you want to come in we can do a no, I mean, I think you should know a ton of orgy groups out there That's not an orgy group. It's just a different form of orgy group. No, it's not it's so not orgy It's just two people

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's just a different form You're not having an of course. I think that's what I'm saying. It's just a different form. You're not having any, of course. I think it would serve you well to learn about the one of the five. How is it different from an orgy group if you're getting 10 different guys and 10 different women together to do things like this? It's not done in a big group.

It's like you go into a private room and you're not. You have a room. No one's watching you. They're not. Yeah, orgy parties part easy do that too? Yeah, but it's only two people. So what do you think that you've learned about women by doing this?

Like how is it? How is your? Well, it's like, look, we're in a space and time where it's like, it's like men can have their sex and women can feel. And what this does is it flips where women can have their sex and women can feel. And what this does is it flips where women can have their sex and men can feel. So on some level, it teaches men to feel in ways that we as kind of our bit denser,

like you were saying earlier on the show, like men don't pick up the signals, men don't attune to a feeling sense. And basically it helps you attune in that place and like really get more yeah more in touch with what women want so like you do you feel like you then you 18 months ago before that like so different how you would have sex with women or how you would be with a woman. It's just probably totally different now It is it's like there's a place where

You learn to go a lot slower right you learn to like really do things for your own pleasure There's an amazing thing happens when you're not trying to do it for her You're doing it for yourself like Like when I stroke, it feels, it starts to feel like these undulating, like amazing feelings, and I'm doing it because it feels good for me. When you're like in a sex act, when you're doing something

because it feels good for you, that gets the other person off the hook, and they're free then. And then what happens is you're both, it's a different kind of sex happens. I don't know. Got it. Does that make sense? Yeah. So how many chicks have you owned these things? I'd say probably at this point around 50. Yeah. Yeah.

Over the 18. I nearly really all got it. What did you say? I mean, you're like, oh god damn, I don't want to own this chick right now. I didn't know what we're men. We have our preferences. There's no doubt about it. Oh yeah. I got an own decision. Yeah, I know. There's got to be some women there. I actually had an experience in my very first home where there was six of us in the class. So I knew it was three guys and three women and I knew one of these women I'd be stroking and I was terrified. There was one woman in the class that I was absolutely terrified of and like the night before I was freaking out afraid that like they were gonna pair me and like I was like no and I ended up

Not having to but you're right. There's a preference that Yeah, and what's cool too is that what happens is eventually Yeah. And what's cool too is that what happens is eventually, it opens up another idea, which is like suddenly a stroking someone that not in a million years would you ever be attracted to, but then you feel them and it feels really good. And you're like, oh, it's kind of weird. Like you feel it like in your body. Like it's hard to explain if you have a-

And the story in your head's going I do not want to feel this woman this way I do not know part of me wants to feel this and you do and what do you do that because what's real your story or what you're feeling and then there's some when when you're like I cannot wait to get in there and do it and you feel fucking nothing. Wow. And you're like, like, so at that point, what's real, right? Right. So this is where there's an evolutionary leap happening here where we have so much story around our sex because we are men and we're visual and we're like,

it's a certain thing and then there's nothing there. So it's the whole gamut. And it was nice to stroke Emily. You know, so it's the whole gamut right and It was nice to stroke Emily I will not lie sweet. Yeah, what why? Why well, I mean I had a bit of story at first like you're gorgeous and I was like like come on I get to like That's amazing. So like this is why I do this right. It's like this is great. So

Well, there's a bit of that What was the question? I don't know. Yeah, I don't know. It was like compliments. Yeah, you know, just come up with a couple and then it was hot like you're like totally compliments. Yeah, you know, just come up with a couple and then it was hot like you're like totally What was great is that like obviously you're immersed in sex at your life, right? So you were just like damn pants off up for it down there went and I was like it just felt So good to have you like in a free fall state where you were just up for it right because it was like a bit of an experiment You're like what is this is this about? And it felt great to have you so free in that place. Yeah, I felt very, like I thought I was gonna be nervous, but I was just like, I don't

know, I felt very open. I just like dropped my drawers and do it. Yeah, and then you sank in like amazing. I got to say, like a lot of women at first, like every woman is in a different place on her, in her orgasm. And like sometimes it takes a woman like 10 ohms to feel anything. And some the first time they drop in and bam, they're going in that with you. You were pretty much able to get out of your head completely and dropping your body almost instantly.

And you were in that state. Oh, pretty quickly. So are these mostly single women? They're coming in and doing this? Now it's both. Actually, there's a lot of couples that come in, like couples that have been together for years and their sex life is kind of starting to dwindle. So they come in and the men like learn this

stroking technique in order to basically get that energy like back in her body. Because if you like pay attention here every day and learn to like bring this energy in, the woman is obviously a lot more turned on. So and then the guy gets what he wants because his woman wants it, you know. It's cool. So, do you have to sit there and while another guy is touching your girls' cha-cha? He's explaining like how they really work up in there like I'm a no-go-on coach too and like what kind of school gear do you wear? We go in there with the mining helmets and the light and you get right up in there because you have to and There's a very specific place. I love San Francisco, right?

We started the upper left-hand quadrant of her of her clit right under the hood and it's where there's 8,000 nerve endings Apparently, it's like where there's more and nerve endings there than any part of the human body, both male and female. So it's like, that's the place to start. And you trigger orgasm right in this one specific place. Then after you master that one place, then you can move on to other areas of the clip that'll list it, other response. Now let's say I don't want to go in the private,

you know, little dungeons that you guys have. Do you have an app or something like that? Menace is very talkative. Yeah, do you know what we're already thinking about that? There's a stroking app that we've said Joaquin Lee at first and now it's upon us. No, no, there will be an app soon. And there's nothing like the real thing. Yeah, you know Yeah, you know, you know, this little map say hey, you know that little Plays you're talking about. Actually, we, yeah, we have, we have a book like yeah, app, do you come on? Videos, videos too.

There's videos you can watch. I watch, you know, women getting owned and the whole thing. So, and it's not your traditional orgasm. I wouldn't say that I had like a traditional orgasm like it, Tim for me, like it wasn't, but it's just like traditional orgasm. I wouldn't say that I had a traditional orgasm. Like it took for me, but it's just the sensation that's different. But I guess that would change after it evolves and changes after we do it, after I do it again.

And if I kept with the practice. It's a different definition of orgasm. It's not like the fleeting climax. It's extending the waves of it in order to let it build, not have it's the spike and go down. So it's not even about climax, although some women do go over, we call it it in a room. Most don't. Most don't have like the, it's not like your climaxing. Because the way we stroke is like really slowly to elicit an organic deeper orgasm with anyone instead of like getting you off to have

you go to a climax and go over. Right, right. Like I have a friend who went there and she's like, I just wanted him to go harder. Like I just wanted to, you want to have an orgasm, but it kind of, it's like, it's supposed to be like, it's expand, the energy through your body. It's different. It's a different, it's a different model we're building that Nicole is so amazingly pioneering. Why do you think some of them fail? Is it because again, because we talk about the

Sun the Show all the time that. What who fails? That where they don't get to where they want to be. Men? No, women. Like they don't get to that orgasmic state that they want to get to. I talk about a climax date or a climax day? Okay, and well wherever wherever You are leading them. Yeah, does you lead them to the Promise land every single time or did sometimes it fails and why do you think it fails?

Is it because we talk about here all the time when we can orgasm because they overthink things right right? What two things one? I'm not doing it, although it might seem as if I am. Yeah. The orgasm itself is the involuntary in her body that I'm stroking to come out. Like I'm not causing it, I'm stroking until it activates within her own body. And then like a top start spinning, it starts to spin and then I just have to keep doing this, keep hitting it and it keeps spinning But it's it's not me doing it

Second of all like I had a disaster assume this morning was horrible like almost halfway through it I almost got up and like left wow, okay, so it's not all roses like there was anger in the ohm There was like I was failing in the oham, which is how it felt to me. And then I got triggered and pissed off, and it was like, it was horrible. And that's part of it. Like, we're here to experience the full range of things. And her anger met mine, I think,

and all of a sudden it was like, poof, and it kind of went off. And in a way, so it's not all roses. Like, it's great most of the time, and sometimes there's emotions in there and things that Happen that are real and they come up in the home and that's why home is kind of amazing like Whatever's there it will surface. Yeah cool. What have you learned about? So you own 50 women and would you say that about 51? Yeah. What would you say about all the different,

what have you learned about women, like their orgasms and their bodies and their clitorisies, like what would you say that you've learned? I would say there is no one woman that is the same. Everyone is unique. Like it is amazing the range of anatomy that I've seen. Like some clits, the om is over and I never even, I never saw it. I never quite felt it to a clit that the minute you're down there, it's already out, going like, stroke me. And everything in between.

So it's been an amazing thing. Sounds like you're in the fucking matrix man. Dude, when you go down into that space, it's how it can go down. Most of them just don't, like, they don't take the time. They know that there's something there, but they're not like looking at it and then learning. Right, it's like full attention on it.

And it goes a long way, like just to give men a chance to like focus here and to bring some technique in and to bring some of the learning that we've found around, like the clit has more nerve endings than any place on the body. It means one micro move of your finger. More of a penis.

Right, it's more. One micro move of your finger. Why do you look at a beauty say that? More than the penis. And then you just like shaking your head. It's your fingers. More of a penis. Right. It's more. One micro move of a penis. Why are you looking at me when you say that? More than the penis. And then you just like shaking your head. It's your fault. This is why we're better.

Like I get it, you guys are amazing. But it's just so hard to satisfy you guys in every way. That's why us men have problems. We don't care that you guys have more nerve endings than us. But you should. Don't be like, wow, look at that nerve pack clip. I really want to get in there. It's like I'm jealous, though. You're like shaking your head like I should be jealous.

I'm jealous. Yeah, I'm going to say, I've always wanted you to be jealous of my clip. That's what I'm going for today. No, that women, that guy should be jealous of women. That's all. Yeah, so what Okay, so every woman so every so you've seen all these different like

Mascinations of the vagina, but what about their orgasms too all different Again all different It's interesting. I had a first-ohm the other day with a woman and like it felt jangly like I could feel parts in there that were like exquisite and amazing and then there were parts in there that were like kind of disconnected and jangly and I was like wow like this is where she's at and the man can start to feel that right yeah um to um yeah it's like it's such a unique It's wild like you start to own with a woman and you start to know exactly who she is Really like how like what do you learn from a woman? Okay, so I had this home the other day and

It was a woman that I'm interested in and what happened was my desire got hot for her over these weeks and I freaked her out. I started to get grab being a little pulley, right? And it turned her off and then I went into wrong and I felt awful, right? And then when I'm in that place and I'm losing, I'm kind of fucked because I don't know how to act then. I'm kind of needy. I want it. I don't know how to be vulnerable and show that I kind of want to hook up and be in there. And then she feels the grabbingness is just like, fuck off once nothing to do with there. Right. So we had this like two weeks where it's just so awkward between us. And then I was like, why don't we have an arm? And we did. And it was amazing. Like she hurt her, her clit. I learned in the arm. Like her cl Clint would not come out and meet me. It wouldn't.

So I'm in there trying to get it. Had you owned her before? Yes. Okay. Months ago. But I'm in there trying to get it, trying to get it, trying to get it, which is when you overlay like what those weeks were, I was trying to get it, trying to get it. It was like manifesting, right?

It was like a projection of what was going on in your life. I realized that I needed to stroke a little off of it and a little slower and let her come to me a bit Oh, right and it was like holy shit like I had the burst go off in the own where How I had been relating to her was like I was trying to get it and she just wouldn't right and then I Realized with her that if I just go off of it a bit, like, like, don't be so frontal with her, off her a bit, and to stroke like a little slower and a little patiently, she'll come out and meet me and she did. And then towards the end of the home, she started to like emerge and her orgasm started to come out and I was

like, holy shit, I got it. I'm like, I've been over stroking you in life, like pulling on you and all this stuff. And I learned in that moment how to handle her. So now what, now you guys see it together? And then we talked about it there, and I was like, oh my God, I've been doing this, and it all appeared in the home, we had this amazing kind of bonding thing, where we all the story and all the shit

that we had been through in those weeks became apparent in the home. And we can start at friends again, just laugh about it and talk about say. That's great. And then I say, yeah, I'm vulnerable. And they're like, I have these desires that come up. And I don't know what to do with them. And now I know like when I feel it, just to like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. That actually is a good explanation of kind of what that's a really good explanation. I mean, I think that there's so much to the female, to our bodies and to our orgasms that there's so much to comment on.

You're complicated beings. I know, I know, right? I mean, I think it's pretty amazing. Yeah. All right. We got to run. Yeah. Thank you.

That's great. It's all too fast. So that wasn't too bad. Was it? OK, everyone. Yeah, this is John. He's from One Taste. If you want to, what's the website?

Yeah, it's OneTaste.us. OneT OneTaste. If you want to, what's the website? Yeah, it's OneTaste.us. OneTaste.us, if you want to learn more about it. And thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. And make sure I have all the information here that I should say. Yeah, we won't be here Monday, but we'll be here Tuesday. And hope it went as a great holiday weekend. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily.

It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithemlead.com. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithenley.com.