Sex With Emily - SWE: Vajazzle

Episode Date: September 21, 2012

Are your lady parts as sparkly as they could be? A listener is considering pimping out her vulva but neither Emily nor Menace can get behind the move. A listener makes a bold proposal for Emily and Menace, and the rules for breaking out fantasies in the bedroom are laid out. Adrift her man-atorium, Emily goes on a cruise and does water aerobics. Meanwhile Menace goes to a rapping wedding and doesn't get friend zoned. Emily splurges on lingerie, and gives advice to a listener regarding online dating and reality-based dating, stressing the importance of putting yourself out there. Lady Gaga claims to give herself mental orgasms, prompting much philosophizing about orgasms. And what's that? Could it be the Great Handjob Debate showing up again? You got it. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Have you guys heard my news? I have a new sex gig. I'm not a porn star, it's better. I just launched my new premium skincare brand called Emile and Tony. These products are tried and true to help spice up your sex life, which is what I'm all about. I'm talking about massage oil candles that are one part candle, one part body oil, and check out these flavors.

They come in delicious sense like creme de vanilla cocoa and fujer. And they're hydrating, and they leave your skin feeling Super luxurious. We even have a product for the guys called down under comfort that helps keep their balls smelling fresh and clean and dry all day Which is exactly what you want, right? So guys if you take care of your balls your partner will take care of you So help us keep this podcast free use code Emily to get 20% off your first purchase at Emily and Tony.com. Trust me, you'll love them, and you're welcome. Dear listening to Sex with Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, send a for a mailing list and just check out what's going on. So thanks everyone for listening. We'll be reading your emails today that you send to feedback. It's sexwithemily.com. You can also find me on Facebook. It's facebook.com slash Emily Hope Morse, M-O-R-S-E or on Twitter, Emily Morse.

And I'm here with Menace, my producer, Menace. Hello, how you doing? I'm good, how are you? I'm very good. And where can we find you? White you white menace dot com love it make it easy it's so good to see you it's good to see you too you've been gone where'd you go I went to leave in me I know where was the spa it was in Arizona and I went with my mom yeah I have a lot of family. Oh, okay. I told you many times my cousin was Miss Arizona. Oh, that's right. Yes. Okay. Well, I was in Tucson and I went to the spot and it was amazing. My mom took me as a birthday present and it was I got my shoppers aligned. Do you even know what that means? No. Okay, right. No, neither. But I know I got my

sizes every day and we exercise and did yoga and eat healthy. And honestly, cut out sugar and stuff like that. And I feel like a new person. Do I look like a new person? Don't I look like a new person? Yeah, you look bright. I feel bright. Everyone keeps telling me that that I'm glowing. I'm glowing.

Seriously, it works. Spas. And you know what the best part was? No cell phone. I mean, I literally checked my phone once a day, turned it off, no blackberry. I don't like being so attached. What did you guys do? We woke up in the morning and hyped. And then we hyped in Arizona. Yeah, at like six in the morning.

Screw that. I know. It's really early. It's not really like vacation. We hyped. We did yoga. We did like a boot camp. We did water aerobics. What? I did water aerobics. We did water of a VIX and it was mostly women and I met the coolest women from all around the world and it was just it was fun and relaxing and it was like my mom You know my mom is so cool and we bonded and it was just fabulous time No, but I'm glad to be back and then my mom would tell me like oh and my daughter has this show and then everyone be coming up to me like

I'm going to check out your website. Oh, shit. Because she doesn't know. I know, so everyone's checking out my site, but it was really fun. How was your weekend? It was really good. I was out in Monterey, California for a wedding. Yeah.

And it was a awesome wedding. It was 400 people. And then I ended up hanging out in the Santa Cruz, California. Happy couple. Are they going to stay together? Yeah, oh yeah. How do you know? I could tell. It was so funny because only the weddings that I go to

where everything's super classy, it looks just like something that you would see on TV. They had the first dance, and then at the end of the first dance, why does the groomed crab of microphone and start wrapping like he's little John? He did. And then his wives started wrapping back and forth the groomed crab of microphone and start rapping like he's little John and then the and then his wife started rapping back and forth like they they were

rapping yeah and hilarious they were rapping on how much they love each other and it wasn't corny or it was bad it was like it looked it sounded like it was a legit song oh my god I wasn't sure they practiced but it was yeah but it was like it wasn't crappy it was like really good that's my god, it wasn't sure they practiced, but it was like. It wasn't crappy, it was like really good. That's cute, I love it, I'd love to see the video. It was awesome. No, that's good, did you hook up at all at the time?

I, no, I met a couple of people, but. Couple women. Couple women, no, I just ended up, kind of fun hooking up in a wedding. Yeah, it took me a long time to get drunk and a lot of money because we're at a hotel, you know, and you know those hotel drinks are watered down. But didn't they have an open bar at the wedding? Yeah, but I ended up going to a club afterwards because you know, I had to keep it going.

Yeah, you got to come back. And then when I come back from the club, I was with my friend and she like passed out. And I ended up staying up and watching the movie Wolverine. What I don't even know what that is. It's from the X-Men Wolverine. I don't know. Have you ever seen the movie X-Men? No.

No. Oh my god. You know me in puff culture and you just get the hell out of the wine country and come back to you. I wasn't in the wine country. Oh my god. The masses enjoy. I'm so happy that like summer is finally here in San Francisco.

It's very, very nice. It's nice. Today was really nice. And so I went, this is something that I, I want it to add. I need to get, I need to know from you and from everyone. That, so I went brush shopping today because Victoria's Secret is having their semi annual sale. Yeah.

I have a toy here. Did you know this? Yeah, let me do commercials on TV. I'm very up on the Victoria's Secret. Okay, so and I never used to like Victoria's secret, but they actually make really good bras like they like hold you in and they support They push up in there. So I'm bra shopping and I started to think about how we talk about lingerie so much on the show and how we it feels like it's just for women and Men don't really pay attention Underwear I get but bras do you ever could you even if you close your eyes right now and you think about a woman You can you picture any bras that you've seen dead like stood out. Yeah

They helped the same Yeah, well, there's the ones that are like like Flat looking so-kiss kind where you don't really see the wire right? You know I'm saying right? Know the ones I'm talking about they also really show the wire now Yeah, but I don't know how to explain it But it's like super smooth. Go ahead. It's fine No, it's not that I just showed him my bra. Yes, it's very lazy. It's pretty So anyway, I went and I was wanting to get like pretty ones and I wanted to get and I'm like

But no one I feel pretty in it like I like wearing my nice bras, but it's just I feel like men Don't care. It's just about me. It's not really about them. They really don't pay attention. They don't care. No, but I'm aware care. I'm, you know, on the more than bras, the boy shorts. You like the boy shorts. Yeah. I have those two. Yeah. But they're not as comfortable. I don't think sometimes. How much did you end up spending? I ended up spending about $150. That's a lot there. That's a lot, but that's, but you get a lot. I got a lot. I haven't bought new bras in a while,

so I went and I got them and I was just like, but I got some matching things, but then I'm thinking no one's gonna notice if I do hook up with someone eventually because I haven't had sex in so long, but if I do, then I'm good, you know. There'll be like, you know what? Wasn't that at the same high end and we'll sail? That's what the

guys said. I saw the commercials. He commercials work. I saw the commercial on TV and then I was like, oh, I'm going to go there. But I just I just feel like if you're if you're woman, she makes an effort and you just notice it and just say like, that's really nice. Like if I like I don't think I've ever been complimented maybe a long time ago, but like, oh, you look great, or that looks sexy. It seems like guys are always so focused on Taking off the underwear No, but taking off the brown underwear that there's never really any comment But women you know we had to go brush up and they measure you It's like a whole thing because your your broad size changes over time and then you had to try it on had to try it on

How to do whole thing so I just wanted to know what you thought about that. Thank you guys don't care God damn it. Okay. So today's show, we're going to be reading your letters. We're going to be giving some sex tips. We've got some sex in the news. But right now, okay, I want everyone to stop what you're doing. You don't have to turn off the show, but stop what you're doing. And I want you to go to AdamNeeve.com.

And I want you to make a purchase there. I want you to buy Adam and Eve's couple and hands, couples enhance a ring. So basically it's like a cock ring, which it's vibrating, cock ring for couples. And it is, look, Manus, I printed out a picture for you. Whoa, it looks very elaborate. It's very elaborate, but it's really easy to use. It's rubbery and it has a vibrator in it.

So there's stretch for him. It's stretchy dual rings for the balls and the shaft. For harder longer erections and more intense ejection for her, she gets clitorial stimulation from the vibrator. And for both, it's a waterproof vibrator, it sends powerful vibrations through a shaft and into her clitoris. It's 249595 but if you use Emily as the offer code at checkout you get 50% off Any item you get three adult DVDs no matter what you're purchased and plus a free extra gift So go to Adamy.com buy this toy. I actually use this so I'm not just like be asking you here I

Use this because like they sent them to me. They sent me some gifts and I used it with this that guy I was dating Mm-hmm a few months ago because obviously we know we haven't had sex in a few months and it wasn't he liked it almost more than I did like I like it because it gives you the stimulation but he it felt really good on his penis as well really yeah it's called Adam and Eve's couples enhance a ring and go to the website check out there's so many you can buy any toy under the sun but I thought I wanted to go check that out do you know what I've actually heard nothing but good things about vibrating rings? Riding rings. Yeah. Yeah, they're I because at first I thought oh with vibrating ring It's gonna be those hard things. It's like a heart

But this is like soft and it's waterproof and it's rubbery and it's it's it's really It's pleasurable for both men and women like a lot of sex toys are just for women And some are just for men and this is for both so I thought hi everyone should go buy this I should test it. You should test it too. Do a field to give you one As long as that used it will be used. I'll give it to in the box Will you get it? Yeah, I'll feel tail. Okay, I want you to report back So if you've been state so who'd you sleep with? Recently who've you slept with recently? Oh, I was I was about to report back. So have you been asleep? So who'd you sleep with? Recently, who have you slept with recently?

Oh, I was about to tell you that story, but before the show, see the problem is when I get single, I couldn't, not that I'm alcoholic, but I consume not that I'm an alcoholic, right? Alcohol and then up in crazy places. And I was talking to another radio DJ friend of mine and he works on a morning show. and he had this guy on the show That's been taking out this girl for over a month, right?

And he's took her you know backstage all the special events they go to has not hooked up Okay, with this chick. The chick sorry has she has a kid, so you know she puts out, right? He knows her, at least once. Yes, so we're giving him this hard time about it and we're calling him up and I'm like, you know, giving him a bunch of crap. So actually that night after having the conversation with him, I end up kind of wasted it and I hook up with this girl, right? The same girl that he was dating? No. Okay, different girl.

Yeah, different girl. Okay. Hey girl. And it gets so late in the night where he's at, his show is starting. So my dumbass calls the radio show and goes, hey, guess what? I'm in bed with this girl right now.... it can i put on the phone real quick how many days have we been on and then she goes none

that's so funny because you're rubbing it in the yeah i don't think that he has a hook up with the she has been over the month here's my question for you he has hooked up with the chicken over a month is because he hasn't made the move yeah he said he's a guy, he's gonna make the move. I've heard women complain they're like, I've been out with them four times,

I don't know if he likes me. He likes you. He's moving for the kids. He's asked you out three times he likes you. Some guys are shy and just, someone's gotta make the move. And if guys go too long, they're gonna fall into the friend zone.

So you gotta make the move like menace. Yeah. Menace conceal the deal the first night. Just go do it. I'm so proud of you. Do or die, man meet some I guess in another podcast some guys just go for the hell hell Mary and somebody quoted me on Twitter they did yeah that is so funny yeah and then another guy just recently on Facebook quoted me because last podcast, I was talking about the Shamwile. If, you know, the Shamwile is,

it's like, it's a special sponge towel. You know, when we're talking about girls that get too wet. I was like, just use the Shamwile, you know, Olympic divers use it, you know. But so thank you everybody that's listening and hitting me up on Facebook. Yeah, they got to hit you up on Twitter

and you Twitter more than I you. I'm making a commitment that I'm going to tweet more on. You should tweet more and I'm taking a break from tweeting. Okay, I'm not going to I'm going to tweet more and um, you sex tips and stuff like that. I know I got sex tips coming out of my ears of that. My whole house is a bunch of books and sex tips and things and I'm going to Twitter more. So wacky idea, but you should tweet out links to your own website with elaborate sections.

I don't want to be one of those self promoters too much. You need to be. I know. And here's the problem. It's like, okay, so this is another thing. If anyone wants to donate to the show, we have a donate button on the site that you could donate, you could give a dollar, you could give $10. It supports the show because we don't make anything doing any of this. I'm doing this at a pure love

menace in myself, but I'm not a great self-port, so that's the problem. So I should be and I will. I will promote, I'll just send out my website. But then people are like, be annoyed, like, oh, it's our website all the time. Well, as long as you're giving out good information. Oh, that's a great information. I'm going to start talking to you. I'm going to tweet a sec, I'm going to tweet a sec, a sec, a day. Really clever. At least that. I'm going to do it. As social from media director, I'm going to let you. Every day. I'm going to do it. Yes. Okay. Done. I mean, I have my iPhone app. Oh, if you guys have an iPhone, I have an iPhone app.

It's called 101 sex tips from sex with Emily and you can get 101 tips on your iPhone. But I could just tweet those out too. You can do that? I could do some of that. My second app that I'm writing too. So for it. OK, great. Let's get into some mail. All right, you do that. OK, hi, Emily.

I love your show and listen to it work every day, the podcast. I'm in the process of getting divorced. My wife, out of the blue, basically told me she wasn't in love with me anymore. We have three great kids, all under 10, and they're staying with me. It has been four months since I got the news and she's been staying with her new man. I, on the other hand, haven't started looking really hard to do with kids, I think. Don't get me wrong.

I love my kids more than anything, but I haven't had sex with anyone in over a year, including my wife. My friends tell me to get out there, but the emotional side of missing my wife is still there. I'm 32 in shape, love sex, especially for play and pleasureing her, but not sure how much longer I should wait or how to introduce myself to the ladies as a single dad. Sorry, this was a long message, but wanted you to have the facts. I enjoy listening to menaces and your opinion, and I'm kind of stuck here. I would love to hear what you have to say. I know you're extremely busy, but thanks for reading this. Cue up the entertainment. Sign Paul.

Hey, Paul, I'm sorry. First of all, it sounds like you've gone through a tough time with your wife leaving you out of the blue and you're with the kids. So just give yourself a break if you're not up for dating it. Like, there's no pressure, but it has been a year. So I would say, you know, just like, it's kind of like ripping off the bandaid. You get out of practice, you know, and you just got to put yourself out there. I would start telling people that you're single, telling your friends that you're available

for business. And you know, I don't think you're ever going to feel 100% ready and you're still going to have emotions for it, but just start, it doesn't mean you have to go out and sleep with someone tonight, but just start making yourself available, start doing little things. Set up for online dating. And then you can just start slowly. What do you think? Well, I like the suggestion through friends. That's always the easiest way to find somebody. Exactly. When you're looking for a job and you tell everyone you're looking for a job.

Yeah, I know. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. It's like tell everyone you know what I'm actually looking to date and then you get like ever just make a point call of telling everyone that you meet that you're ready. Even if you don't feel it 100% and then you get like ever just make a point Paul of telling everyone that you meet that you're ready. Even if you don't feel it 100% and then they'll start thinking about it and then you put it out there into the universe. Sorry to go all spiritual on you, but no, you put it out there and then everyone's thinking about you is like, oh, Paul single, he's a great guy. He's telling a great guy. You love pleasing the woman. I love that what you said. You love pleasureing her in four play. Yeah, I love you Paul. I think also, even if they suggest somebody that you're like, oh, no, I don't want to just go out. It doesn't matter. Like get some practice. That's what I did. It's my buddy that's like he never goes out on dates. I just hooked him up to go on a date.

Just the practice. I'm like, look, you don't have to go to the shake. You don't have to try anything. But just practice having conversations with people, you know? Yeah, you don't have to have the whole girl to shake. You don't have to try anything, but just practice having conversations with people, you know? Yeah, you're absolutely right. Cause something that Paul Marrant into is, he's with his wife for a while, and then you actually get out of practice of dating. I mean, I've gotten, a lot of people ask me, like, how do you get back out there?

And it's just like, you really just gotta start doing it. It's just like, I should never turn down a job interview. They always say you should never turn down a date, unless the person's like completely repulsive to you, it could just be a nice person, become a new friend, and maybe you'll meet someone through that person. My friend went on a date unless a person's completely repulsive to you. It could just be a nice person becoming a new friend and maybe you'll meet someone through that person. My friend went on a date with some guy. She wasn't that into him.

This was a few years ago and then she hooked me up with them and I actually liked them. I only liked them for three dates but I liked them more than she did. So he got in date with me after that because she wasn't into him but he went out with her and anyway, you could just see never know who you're going to meet. See? Two friends and then you can try the online thing. But you know what, that okay, keep it, that thing sucks. People were hyping it up.

I thought I would check it out, that thing's terrible. Really? Okay, keep it, just don't. There's some good sites out there. I mean, it seems like everybody know does match.com. Really? But I heard that thing. We should get them as a sponsor.

You should, I was about to say something bad, but go ahead. You're gonna say something bad about heard that. We should get them as a sponsor. You should. I was about to say something bad, but go ahead. Yeah. You're going to say something bad about them. If you want to get them as a sponsor. Yeah, okay. Well, no, actually, you know what? I think it is a good thing.

Okay. If you're a guy that a rumor, I'm going to have to look this back up online. But I thought I read a report and maybe it's not match or one of these dating sites, but they were paying women to go out on dates with guys And so some of these women were going on like 30 40 dates in a month just to make the website look yeah, wait make the website look good So they would tell the first like oh yeah, I meant this hot chick. Oh my god. You know, you did that some website I believe it was match no matches would never do that. Okay. I think I've

heard this story. I think that's like an urban legend. No way. I have a computer here. You keep on talking. Okay. I'll be talking. Okay. Well, here's the next letter. Hi, Emily. I'm a big fan. I love, love, love your show. And I've listened to all the podcasts. That's right. And there's a lot of them too. Oh, just a note here that I don't know if you guys are some people are just discovering the show. I have 140 shows, 139 shows. You can get them all on iTunes or on my website if you're just discovering us. So anyway, okay, she loves them and she's listening to all of them. Anyway, I feel like I'm so out of the loop because my little sister, who's 18, just mentioned this trend called Vigazzle or Vigazzling that I

never heard of that. Apparently, apparently is old news and celebrities and some of her friends do it. I never heard you mention it on your podcast. I'm wondering if I missed an episode or if it's so old it wasn't even worthy of a mention. But I am floored by the idea and maybe would give it a try. If you don't know about it, Google it. They basically use surgical glue after your Brazilian wax and attach crystals in whatever type of pattern or design you want. Do you know anyone who does it? And what would it be like the first time you hook up with a guy?

How surprising would that be? Possibly unless everyone is doing it and I just don't know. Anyways, just thought I'd share that you're the way more in the know than I am. So it's probably nothing new. Key with the show and the great work, Lindsay. Lindsay, I just heard of this too. Actually, my web person sent it to me and Blair. She was like, Oh, have you ever heard of this? And I hadn't heard of it. And it's a really interesting thing that women, I was actually going to read it on the show a few weeks ago that women are like, it's like bedazzling like the bed, what's it called? The bedazzler. Yeah, it's just like that. But it's more jazz. Like people are putting,

what would you think, men? As if you were with a chick and you're going down and you're taking off a pants and she's got like sparkly. I mean as long as it's in an inch or me I think it's fine whatever I'm like okay. It's kind of odd and it's kind of itch. I think it's kind of slutty actually. It's slutty. You're kind of kind of a skink. I don't know. I don't want a judge but I'm not a judgemental person but really I mean yeah it's like oh you must get a lot of attention sking. I don't know. I don't want to judge, but I'm not a judgemental person, but really, I mean, yeah It's like oh you must get a lot of attention down there. Classy lady Anyway, thanks, Lynn. Thanks for sending that a lot. That lady had a lot of class when

Exactly, it's like getting it on your nails. It's just like I don't know. I'm not into I'm not into Adornment the player now I'm not into bling it out my PJJ. I know I'm not gonna ornament ornament ornamentalized my VJJ Dude is so hard looking up stuff. Okay, so where I just will get to it later. I'll find it though You got to pay attention here to letters. Okay, thanks everyone for writing me also feedback at section that may dot com Right now Oh, now? The rest of the mess thing area of the Mungo is the most dangerous blue-faced baboon known to man. Everyone, those underwins, please turn off your cell phones, the Mungo's, and the known detaired men apart of the slightest provocation.

Slight. Shush. What is that? It's getting louder. Huskins, is that a Jimmy James form 3 by radar. I told you to leave it at home! But the percutie, I was so perfectly designed and powerful. And my wife and yours sex so much more now. Even though to the long moon, they started their war dad. Run, man, run, run!

Run! Run, run, run! Run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run, run Jimmy Jane products are so sleek, functional and powerful. You'll find yourself wanting to bring them everywhere. From vibrators and candles to pleasure kits and even jewelry, if it's from Jimmy Jane, it's a good time. So don't monkey around, go to jimmyjane.com today and peruse at your leisure, and use coupon code Summer at checkout to get $25 off any purchase of $100 or more, and help keep sex with Emily free. Forever! Hey Emily, it's Savvy. On the last show, Y'all brought up a topic of men not paying enough attention to their women's needs. My man loves to play with me and he tries his damnedest

to get me there to climax with him. LOL, he takes... he tends to make most nights about me. I love it and it just makes for more fun when I'm making it all about him. Love the show and keep it fun. Sign Sav savvy. Wow, that's heaven. I love them people are just like, my life is great. I don't really need your show, but I'm just going to listen. I'm just going to listen for fun. I love that the guy, it makes it about her. I've not been with the guy in so long that just makes it about me.

You can't believe how much bad sex I should. I'm sure you would love that. I would love that. I just think that a guy should listen to the show before they date me. I think. I think I give a lot of good information listen to the show before they date me. I think. I think I give a lot of good information here about what I want. That's having Savvy.

Good for you. Okay. Next letter. Hi, I'm just an observation and one question. First, why don't you and men just have a night of wild sex and get it over with already? That's interesting. Now for the question, my girlfriend won't tell me her fantasy. Don't all women have at least one or she too shy to talk about what she's always wanted.

Love the show. Dave from Boston. Okay, first of all, could we ever sleep together, menace? That'd be weird. I don't know, it's up to you. You sleep with me? I guess by now, I guess I'd sleep with him before I used to hold out. You've been holding out for a couple of years.

But you know what I have, who cares? That's funny, no one's ever said that before. No one ever suggested that we hook up, have they ever said that to you? No. I mean, you suggested it a couple of times. I did? Yeah. I guess I did.

I always forget what I say to her in. Yeah. Yeah, I guess I did. I always forget what I say to her and stuff. Wait, but Mendis says, anyone ever said, do you so do you ever hook up? I think I had like an ex that asked me once or something like that. Probably tell everyone. No, I don't tell. You know how many people I've slept with in this building?

I'm very, totally. You slept with everybody in this building. You're very intolerable. You stuff with everybody in this building. Yes. That's good. Okay. So anyway, that's me, Menace. We'll let you all keep you all posted. So for the question, my girlfriend, okay, the fantasy.

So, you know what? Most women do, most people have fantasies, but a lot of the times they aren't that they aren't in touch with them. So, to be honest, like not all women have them, but a lot of times they aren't that they aren't in touch with them So to be honest like not all women have them, but a lot of women have a most men have fantasies. Do you have a fantasy? Do I have a fantasy? Do you think about things like God 10 women all Going down a new or something? 10 women going down on me. I don't know. I don't know. Maybe like maybe Three Sims or something like that. Three Sims, that's a good topic. I wish some chick would just like,

I don't even have to work for it. They would just like, you know, ring the doorbell. And then just, two checks, actually, we would have to do three of them. Well, two checks would make it even better, throwing a third if you want. But yeah, I think that's it. But when it comes to women, I think they're kind of shy.

I think they are shy to talk about it. When you try to push them to get it from them, they're like they kind of sort of halfway tell you things, you know? They're like, oh, I don't know. I don't know. I know a lot about it. Maybe you want to get beat up and tied up and get ripped. Maybe you can just whip me and put nipple clamps on.

Yeah. Um, I think that you should try to probe and maybe you, you should, um, Dave throw things out there and be like, so tell me your fantasies. Would you ever want to have a three sum? Would you want to have one with two men? Would you ever want me to tie you up? Maybe to start feeding her suggestions and see how she reacts. If she's not bringing up her own, maybe you could ply her with ideas. Sometimes, but you can't get too overboard because then you might scare them, you know? Yeah, don't be like, do you want me to bring in a fresh chicken. Yeah. Do you want me to tie you up and put you in the trunk of my car and then I'll take you

somewhere. Now start with the basics start with three sums and tying up and something like that. No you can't say three sums because the chicks will get jealous. Well sometimes women have fantasies of being with two men. Oh yeah. Or being with another woman. Well I don't know Guy that too many guys are down with that. Yeah, some guys are yeah, yeah, I think I'm trying to think yeah I wouldn't know, but they are They are some guys are into it even if they're they're straight and they're not gonna be with the guy They want to please their woman and they want to see some men get off by watching their woman

Some guys get turned on by watching their woman. Some guys get turned on by watching their women with it. Woman. I don't get that. I know. I don't get that. But you hear about it all the time. I mean, I do get it actually. I do get it because you really love somebody to see her way. If you love her in the way that you if you love this way in this way, that when you are with you love your person so much that it gets you off to see her getting excited Because you want her to invent his rolling is I you just did like a triple eye roll I've never seen that so much I really just want to see some other guy hook up with her. Yeah Online dating hi Emily just wanted to drop a suggestion with you for a show.

I think you might be able to do something interesting with online dating. Actually, it's online meeting, but I think you get it. There are lots of play-sites out there like match and e-harmony, some good free ones, plenty of fish. Have you heard of that? No. And some even specialty ones like fitness singles It's gotten to the point of being mainstream now and it's a very good way to meet people nowadays I don't I know you don't use these sites

But lots people do and it would be interesting to hear how they like them What are the secrets success and what are the pitfalls? It's got to have a lot of advantages over meeting people the old-fashioned way but also some drawbacks and dangers Signed Scott. That's a great idea Scott. Send in your online dating stories. Feedback at sexathomely.com. It is true. I mean, I know these are like commercials so I'd send to you the other day for an online dating site but it did say that one out of five people meet online and I have to say that that from my own studies seems kind of true because I'd say that one out of five

stories I hear from someone like just if I look at my life over the last month I'd say that's about accurate that people said oh we met online we met online we met online like I hear that all the time now I've met a girl probably on Facebook my space and Twitter really yeah I've hit them all you've tapped those asses from online sources I I've never. But never like a dating site. Yeah. Never done it either.

I feel like I sh- I say that all the time. I said. I mean your life is online. You should, you know? I know. It is- it is as it is. It doesn't feel like it. I feel like so- I don't often feel like I'm online, but I am online.

Okay, I can't explain it. I'm just me. I'm just me, man. I'm just me. Okay, hey, Emily. I agree with you and menace on the subject of hand jobs. Sorry, menace, we're bringing up the hand job debate here. I recently got a hand job in the parking lot of where I work. That was fun by itself, but the hand job, like menace said, she didn't know how to do it right. It felt good still, but I do it better myself. I would rather had a blow job because those feel tons better, but in a pinch of hand job, well, it's a fight, but women could learn how to do it better myself. I would rather had a blowjob because those feel tons better, but an append to hand

job was to fight, but women could learn how to do it right if men would tell them how they like it. I wouldn't mind ladies wanting to practice on me, just as long as they use lots of them. They just say, Brent. The guys that were going to stop, sorry about the sirens in the background, they're very loud in service this go, and they can get through the soundproof room. But even if you don't know how to give a hand job,

a guy's not gonna stop you from doing it. He's not gonna stop you, but use lots of loop. I think that's a great tip. Loop that's so messy. How are you gonna, okay, hold on, let me was that bunch of loop inside this car out and from my work. She, no, what you should do,

what you should have done is first given him like wet his penis with her mouth. Yeah, well, this is how she's open to Felatio. I tell you that word. Felatio, yeah, the classy way of saying blow job. It's, it doesn't seem like she was open to that because that's she would have just did that. She could be on her hand.

Okay, like they do important. Yeah. And then he has a PS here. Be resourceful. Exactly. Be resourceful. I mean, not all women give a great hand job, but you've something.

I would say 99.9%. But I even had one in forever. PS, my sister is 30 and thinks nobody wants to date her. Any advice I could give her to make her. She's a woman. Of course, she can get laid. Yeah, that God. I hate people.

They have the age thing. Let the age thing bring them there. 30? 30 is nothing. Oh my God. And it doesn't matter. She's 30 or 40 or whatever. Just the fact that she thinks that no one wants to date her because of her, her age. It's that's what it sounds like. Cause you gave me her age. She's got to get over that. Yeah. 30's a new 20. Tell her to get married before 30. Tell her to take a nap, set her alarm for one

30 AM. Go to a bar and you'll find plenty of guys. Right, let's call. That's gonna want to date you. That's great. They'll be lined up. Oh my god, you are so funny, menace. Yeah, I would just talk, and I should have just buck up, listen to the show, she can get confidence a few weeks ago we did a show with Tristan Cooper Smith about called menu dating. She's got a great book about for women about getting out there and just kind of dating whoever like don't put restrictions on who you're going to date. We all have these like lists of what we think is right for us and just to kind

of circumvent that and just date. Just date to date menu dating. Taste, taste test your way to loving or something or whatever that, whatever the tagline was. Okay, that's what we got for letters right now. Awesome. Awesome. I don't know if I want to direct you in any way, but we were going to talk about its gay pride.

Oh, right. And you know what, we've been talking about that app Grindr, right? I mean, every gay guy I know, it's constantly on this app. I know. Tell me about tell me more about it. I know I met one gay guy who, good gay friend of mine, who was like at a party and he was like, look at this grinder thing. So it's like a location.

So we're not like sponsored by them in any way. It's just like as blown up, at least here in San Francisco. He should be sponsored by them in any way. It's just like as blown up, least here in San Francisco. You really should be sponsored by. Maybe. Okay. But it's a location-based app, so it uses the location services on your phone. And anyone else that has the app,

it'll tell you like how far away they are. Right. And then so when you open up, it's just a bunch of pictures of guys. So if you like a photo of the guy, you click on it and it instantly becomes like a chat instant message. And he's right next to me. And he's like right within distance. That is so cool. And dude, people who can have left and right. Why don't they have that for straight people? Like, I'm not because it would never work for straight people.

No, you're right. The whole dynamic of how they have sex and how they hook up is very different than straight people. Yeah. I know. Well, another another thing is like chicks won't be honest thing. It would be like 900 guys to every girl. Exactly. You know, that's how it is. And then so I was talking to my friends about it and I guess there's another one out now. It's called boy a boy. Boy a boy. And apparently it works almost the same way. Oh my god. That's so funny. Do we have a lot of gay lesbian listeners? I think we do. I don't know. I mean, we never, I know we don't.

My gay friends listen, but they might just listen because I'm not. Exactly. But I'm just like, I know that we don't specify a lot of times, like, oh, this is a gay thing or a straight thing. But I think a lot of what we talk about is sort of applicable to everybody.

But if there's anything in particular that people have or questions, but if this gay pride and San Francisco gay pride weekend, there's a big parade, which is really fun. Have you ever gone to the parade? I've marched in it. I have not. I haven't even checked out. I think it's this weekend, I'm pretty sure.

That's a funny story about that. What? Because my family has never met anybody I've ever dated, right? So my grandmother and my sub-grandfather were here taking me to dinner for Thanksgiving, right? And so I was renting a car after our dinner to go somewhere else and it just so happens the car was being, uh, was located in the cash row. Oh. So they're like, Hey, do you want to, uh, stop you off? And I go, uh, yeah, and they go, where are you? Is the car located?

Oh, the cash row. Oh. And then then and then so they start asking me questions like so They're asking me because they never met a girl that I've dated right so have you ever been to that parade that they have? I go I go know grandma, but I hear it's really exciting and fun Every gay every straight man. I know here has always had someone in their family like you think eventually because you're in the whole group. Just go and you must be gay. Yeah. Yeah. Little as they know. Little as they know. I'm out on the prowl. It's happening every night. Okay, let's

get into some little bit of news here. All right. So, okay, Lady Gaga says that she can make herself have an orgasm by just thinking about it. So, I don't know if this is too much information, she says, but I can actually mentally give myself an orgasm. You know, sense of memory is quite powerful. And so, it says that a lot of women are able to achieve a mental orgasm. So, basically talks a lot about, you know, this really speaks to the fact that for women,

a lot about sex, psychological and mental. So it says, we've documented, there's a study that came out, the science of orgasm, there's a book that came out and they said, we have documented in our laboratory that women can have orgasms from imagery alone without touching their body. The point is that women can experience orgasms in sexual pleasure from many forms of stimuli.

It does not have to be through genital stimulation. So the next time you know, you're not able to orgasm, it just stop wearing clear your mind, imagine an orgasm. Maybe this time it could lead to the real thing. It's like they talk about visualization. If you just imagine an orgasm, you can have one. Yeah, but wasn't like, but we say that all time, I'm not to overthink things. See, that's what so goddamn, it's so complicated. It's complicated with you guys. No, well, you don't think about it, but don't overthink about it.

No, no, no. The difference between visualization and thinking, like, oh my God, am I gonna have an orgasm? Am I not? Am I going to? Am I always there? I think I'm there. I'm not sure if I'm there.

And, but how do you visualize it? There's a difference, ready? I'm about to tell you. Okay. There's, oh my God, am I going to do it? Oh my god, that's worry talk. That's the kind of thinking that's not going to get you an orgasm. But the kind that actually picture the orgasm,

because you know what an orgasm feels like. So, picturing the orgasm happening, like, what it feels like, what your body does, like just picturing you having one, like, close your eyes and feel it. Like, you only mean that you can, like if I told you to close your eyes right now and think about having an orgasm,

you could feel what it feels like in your brain. Like, you could incite that kind of... I could, maybe, I don't know. It's different for men and women, but for women, we could start thinking like thoughts and you could, if I close my eyes right now, I could think about what it feels like to have an orgasm. So just put yourself in that place that what does it feel like when you put orgasm? How are you breathing when you have an orgasm and just prepare yourself for orgasm through

your mind? All right. All right. You think about clouds? Yeah, I think about stuff animals and stuff like that. Floating. Floating. OK. We got time. We got time. All right, sex and fitness, the connection between weight loss and libido. So this woman lost 140 pounds, and she wrote that she lost the weight, got much more near,

and rediscovered by missing health. Sometimes becoming so much more turned on was so much more turned on was so damn distracting. And she wants to thank God she was born in a technological age after the invention of sex toys. So she used her share of batteries and she increased her libido. So they're saying that if you lose weight, it's a great motivator and you're... Your stamina goes up. Definitely.

So they say that low libido is a silent epidemic because so many women suffer from a low sex drive and no one talks about the situation. So there's lots of people with lots of health issues and low libido is top four complaints to doctors as of that women one of their issues it's one of the top four low libido. So lose weight you might get horny. And then the female viagra we were talking about if you still... Yes, where does it... I mean... shot it down.. The FDA has not proved it because women were fainting, depressed, and had fatigue inside effects. That's what it says.

So the problem with a female viagra is that is because women's brains, it's much more psychological for them. For men, viagra came out 12 years ago and it's purely a plumbing issue. Like it's purely like technical. Like his penis won't go up. And you can take a pill in that work. So for women there's a lot more things involved So they shot it down. I'm sort of bummed we can just go it FDA are they going back to the drawing board? Yeah, it says that it's fairly complicated area unlike in men's sexual dysfunction where there's a major

Mechanical concern so yeah for me so So wait they only just fainted right those it It says here that what's more a menu? Women who took the once a day drug this is the in the test studies they experienced significant side effects including depression fatigue and fainting Fatigue from doing it so much. No, I'm taking the pillow. They had a side effect. How did they get fatigue? They were tired they've been They're just like just taking the bill side effects for the fill. I want to take it though. I want to be in a test study. I think that'd be cool because maybe it would work. Your balls might fall off. I've tried bag. Why? Because it was just for fun to see it. What does it do? Actually, I don't know the female. The blood rushes to your I should not telling people to take it. I wouldn't take it recreationally at all

But I did once and it was fun Sex tips, but I wouldn't recommend it. Okay, I don't think it's you should talk to your doctor. Yeah, totally Go on okay, so here's um 20 I'm not gonna give you all 20, but these are some sex tips. Okay, here's just a few of the, there are 20, but here's a few that I liked. Okay, this is really important. This is for men. Make sure why you laughing.

What I do. Without the Viagra, I'm still laughing. Alright, go. I'll tell you about that after. I'll tell you about that after. Okay, so make sure your partner knows how attractive you find her. By paying attention to her kissing to, most attention to her kissing her,

complimenting her and generally spoiling her. Don't neglect the breasts and other rodging his bones. Men, dudes, tell her that she thinks she's hot. She's work for it. Tell you like her bra. Tell her you think she's hot. It's all about ego gentlemen. It is.

It's all about ego they love it If I told if I've taught you nothing it's psychological for women We need to be built on you need to tell us be your hot. It's amazing to me I friends who are like oh, you know my parents are divorced I remember my mom told me this she was like your dad never told me I was pretty and I was like How is that possible like I need to hear that all the time? Yeah women live off attention gentlemen. Yes, you know not even do they do they buy those expensive bags For guys no they want to get attention from other women. Yeah, they want attention from all different

We are attention hoors. It's true. I love it. It's you know, it's men want attention to but in different ways But like I feel like to your Ween men this is ween wants attention, but I want you to tell me that I'm hot. Okay, both sexes of off days most met off days most men occasionally have poor or tardy erections and even fit athletic over enthusiastic men as well as an experienced anxious may suffer premature ejaculation. So dudes guys dudes I don't know why I'm calling you guys. Don't be yourself up if you have it. If this happens a few times, not a big deal.

Women don't trip on it. I've had guys who couldn't get it off or something happened or they can't. They can't get it up, what? I've never had that problem. Come on. Swear. Not even when you're drinking too much.

Nope. Never had the whiskey weed. I just can't, sometimes I can't, you know, finish the job. Right. That's a, okay. That's a bummer. What? You can't come. No. You can't have an orgasm. No, okay. The glassy way of saying it. Yeah, the glassy. Today we're going to do cliesty way. No, I mean, I'm going to talk cliesty. I mention you'll idea what it just takes a really long time. Right. That's a, that's a bummer. That brings me to one of these points here.

So one of the points is thrusting for hours without climaxing doesn't make you a stud muffin. It does make the vagina numb in sore though. But then they're thinking about you the next. I hate the jack rabbit thrusting when men are on top of you going. Yeah. And you're just like, come already like my vagina hurts and I got to go home. I want to watch sports center or something.

No, I don't want to. Okay, so one more, ready? All right. Okay, there's more to sex than pushing the right button. Men have discovered some men, the key to female orgasm is clitoral stimulation, and many now rub the lamp, whether or otherwise known as the clitoris. Rather than poking your own inside it, the upside is that known as the clitoris, rather than poking around inside it, the upside is that women are climaxing more often, but the increase in emphasis on

general manipulation has made for some very mechanical sex. So don't just go straight for the clitoris, right? I've said this before, and I don't think I can say it enough. Going straight to the rodage zones is the equivalent of fast forward. So men who just focus on the left breast, the right breast, the genitals reduce their partner to a set of body parts. So pay attention to the clitoris but pay attention around the clitoris as well. So that's what we got in sex tips. Alright. That's what we got for our show. I like it. This is great.

That was a big fan of today's show. It's trying to tell this is the best hour of my entire week. What? Every week. Every week. Yeah, my favorite. Love sex family. All right. Love you all. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedbackitsexwithemily.com. So you know I'm obsessed with candles, right? Have you ever heard of misogynyrd candles? Okay, so get this. I always like candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends. And recently they were over and I lit three candles when I'm enjoying glass of wine with friends, and recently they

were over and I lit three candles for my new line called Emelene Tony. My skin felt really dry, so I went ahead and poured some of it on my hands and I gave myself a quick massage. My friends were stunned that I did this and immediately were obsessed. And here's why. See, these candles are really aroma therapy massage oils that when warm like a candle, they melt into the most luxurious body oil that is super hydrating, leaves your skin feeling and smelling amazing, and it's perfect for massaging your partner.

Or yourself, you can use during for-play and you know me, I'm a firm believer in for-play. They come in delicious flavors like creme de vanilla, cocoa and pouger. Not just that, they look great in your home. So help us keep this podcast free. Check them out today at Emilyntowny.com. And you're welcome.