Sex With Emily - SWE: Why People Cheat & Best Valentine's Day Gifts

Episode Date: January 30, 2014

This episode is about why people cheat and the best Valentine's Day Gifts to buy her. (Heck, if you're single, I'm talking about the best gifts to buy yourself.) There are many theories about why people cheat, including fear of intimacy, unfulfilled desires in a relationship, and the need for validation from others. Some people think they can get away with it and have no intention of sleeping with one person, no matter what they committed to their partner. Ultimately, a lot of people cheat because they’re afraid, weak, or simply do not possess the skills to confront their partner about problems in the relationship. Instead of breaking up or working on a relationship, people have affairs. No matter if it’s bedroom boredom, a lackluster relationship, or the sexy barista, there’s no excuse for cheating. In this show I address why people cheat, how to spot the signs of cheating, and what to do if your partner cheats on you. I also talk about the best vibrators for couples and the best vibrators for all the single ladies. Why get roses and chocolate for Valentine’s Day when you can give her multiple orgasms? .Use coupon code EMILY for 15% off at Good Vibrations: http://bit.ly/19rLghs. Use coupon code EMILY25 for 25% off at crazygirlproducts.com and coupon code EMILY for 20% off your first purchase at Emilyandtony.com. Check out my new vibrator store: www.sexwithemilyovo.com/.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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The world's got to understand, oh my! The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common though? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I want to feel a, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom,

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I'm here with Anderson tonight. Hey, sex. Hey, Anderson. I love that you call me sex. I don't know why. Like you think after all these years, people call me sex with Emily, but it's just the sex thing. I don't know. We're to set cockles on my heart. Ah, cockles. Cockles. I just wanted to say cock. I love cockles. How do you two?

So tonight's show, we're going to be talking about why people cheat. I just cannot get away from the subject. People are always asking me why men cheat, why women cheat. And it seems to be a lot of the similar answers. And there's also maybe a genetic component we're going to talk about, as well as can avoid it, love it or leave it, Valentine's Day is around the corner. So I'm going to give you some amazing gift ideas if you're wondering what the hell to get your partner. So we're going to get into that. And Anderson also, if you don't know, is the host of an amazing podcast, the film vault. So if you're a podcaster, which I suit,

listening to podcasts, which I assume you are, you should subscribe to his podcast as well. To that. Yeah, you learn all about movies from Brian and I talk movies every week. I used to be like a filmmaker and watch everything and I know you could benefit from our I'm going to and I do and I have and we talk about the move I love movies went to film school, but we don't MP art up, you know what I mean? Right, you're not like in this way that like New Yorker article. We're gonna like I don't even get what it was about You're like real people talk real people, but you're smart too Brian might be kind of smart. They have their moments. Okay, the first thing I have to talk about is I know I've

been talking about this for weeks, but I don't know if I've really believed to explain it because I've had a lot of, okay, so if you listen to my podcast last week, you might have heard my voice was really, really scratchy because I was sexy. I know it was funny. I was on love line live. We were tweeting that I sounded better, but I'm sorry, my voice is pretty much back. Turns out when you go to three porn awards shows in one week, you're going to come back with some kind of... What does that mean?

Well, I didn't come back with any STDs. That's how you make it sound in your career. I know. I just came back with an infection, an upper respiratory infection. That sounds bad too. No, no, no. I didn't even kiss anyone. I did nothing.

I just talked a lot, which is what I normally do. I think there's germs in Vegas everywhere, right? Especially in the porn show. And then porn show, times 10. You should check me out on Instagram and Twitter and Facebook if you want to see all the sexy people I talk to you. And we're going to have some videos. I interviewed a bunch of people on the right carpet.

It was so funny because we went to the Exp-biz awards and I was at a panel. Like the thing is I got picked from Vegas after the AVN awards. I gave the keynote speech which I'm gonna have some video. I won't make you all sit through the hour long, but we're just gonna take out, do a video of some of the best parts and you should subscribe to my YouTube channel as well. But I felt like just like after talking and talking and then I came back and we had the ex-biz, which is another big sex conference.

And I was at a panel and then we had the words. So now I was like, but now I feel amazing. Antibiotics knocked it all out. But here is what was so interesting. So being an AVN, it's the adult video entertain the power of the music awards, which is basically the Oscar porn. But there's also the porn of the Oscars, Oscars of Porns. But there's also I had a booth there and so I was meeting, which is amazing, because it's not that often that I get to meet listeners of the show. I mean, I hear from them all the time,

and I read all your emails that you send to feedback at saxonme.com. We try to answer all your emails. But I don't actually like, and like, one of my goals for this year, or the next year, is like do like a tour, like go to college campuses, or if you're in a certain town, and you want me to come and speak the email me, I'd love to get it felt so good to meet people

who you know listen to show and like it because I just I'm sort of in this bubble here with you Anderson and you know I'm in LA running some people over once or else that was fun but it was interesting because I had a booth and you know I had all my sex with the Emmy stuff there but I also had my Emily and Tony line so as you know if you've been listening I've got a new line of products came out a few months ago called Emily and Tony you can find them at Emily and Tony line. So as you know, if you've been listening, I've got a new line of products, came out a few months ago called Emily and Tony. You can find them at Emily and Tony.com. So I'm always talking about these massage candles, right? And because I think, you know, a few companies

have made massage candles and I was a fan of the concept but not the idea. And so I really think that I perfected in this candle because I tried everyone, but what I realized is that so many people don't even know what the hell a massage can't listen to like yeah whatever that sounds freaky to me so coming to the booth and having people experience it was really cool because I feel like it's the kind of thing that you have to like feel and touch and so basically these candles they look like

regular candles so if you like them and in your house no one's gonna know like oh is that a massage candle they're beautiful candles they... they're from france their classy they look elegant in your home yeah they're not poor me i mean at the point show doesn't mean that they are no related at all i just have them there because it's been such so they're like their sleep their mother and sophisticated the sense are amazing like it's you know vinaigrette and coconut and fugir so that's great but another thing about the missus light them like when i

guess coming over there again the regular beautiful candle they can tell is a super market that they're in the supermarket they want to be like out of place to be like it would know what will be like why's there a sex item in a circle exactly like it's not weird that's a thing about our packaging we've other products as well as that it looks very discreet it looks like you're buying a regular candle or buying a regular lubricant but the great thing was when people experience it they friggin freak out because

The thing about the candles are They're not like the only way they're not like rather candle is it's they're made out of coconut oil and and all these really good Feel coconut oil and soybean oil these feel good ingredients, but it's like massage is the gateway to intimacy So let's say you're a dude or woman and you you got someone coming over. You like candles for ambiance. Who doesn't appreciate that? This is amazing. But then you can say, hey, you want a massage? Because what guy are girls and pull that maybe?

You want a little massage? Usually it's the guys. And you can pour it on your partner. It turns into this luxurious massage oil. So it's not waxy. It's not hot. It's warm. You will not burn yourself.

And it's not messy. But it's really like warming and soothing and you can use it anywhere in your body. It relieves stress, it's like nourishing and it makes you feel good and people were like, oh my God, can I buy these now? Because I use it every morning as a body of moisturizer and I'm so bummed that we weren't selling them there, we were just showing them.

So I just wanted to explain to you if you didn't understand what they were, what they are that they're just a great way for you to, you know, connect with your partner, connect with yourself, and you can use it anywhere in your body, or just use it as a pretty channel on your table. So go to Emily intonate.com and use coupon code Emily for 20% off your first purchase. I just thought I'd explain that because after a VN, it was like, whoa, no one gets it. Okay. So, today's, yeah. At Avian, I'd expect some saying that.

How do you put the entire thing inside me? Yeah, how do I put it in my butt? How do I get it in there? Right. Well, it also hit me when I was in Chicago visiting a girlfriend in her 12-year-old summer's in the room. I was like, oh, I brought you my candles. And she was like, covering her eyes.

And she was like, oh, it's a freaking candle. And they're beautiful. Okay, so I thought we should talk about- You're dexing kids beating off of the candle, right? Exactly, right. No, he is. You can't beat off of the candle already. Exactly, right. You know who he is. You can't beat off of them, actually. It's all good for you, ingredients. Okay, so I want to talk about cheating. And just because it seems to come out all the time, the statistics are that 50% of men cheat and 50% of women cheat. And I get so many emails and questions

about it and I just wanted to shed some light on it. And I also wanted to kind of talk to you Anderson about and see what you think about these points because I've been researching it a lot for years but when I look at the list of like why women cheat, why men cheat, it's a different verbiage but basically it's the same thing. So it's not like men are cheating for totally different reasons than women if this in fact is all true and then I'm going to throw in that there is a new component they say that could be genetic. So for men, for example, they say some men, it's intimacy that scares them.

So they distance themselves from their wife or their girlfriend by cheating on them. This way they never really have to be hurt so they can't get hurt. And I think that goes the same for women. I think that people are just afraid to really commit to someone. And they're afraid that they commit to someone that they're going to get hurt. That's true, but that's the same thing goes for relationships in general. People who just don't even commit in relationships, but I guess I could you know drive someone to cheat as well. I don't know. If you were any friends or big cheaters, oh yeah. And why do you think they cheated? Because they could.

Oh, yeah, and why do you think they cheated because they could because they got away with it because They like to have sex with strange trim and Strings trim their girlfriend doesn't offer that. Hey, by the way if you're getting married Your fear of intimacy is kind of been defeated there exactly and getting married And you're still having a fear of intimacy Well, then you probably need to go to therapy first. And if you know that you're going to cheat, I would say that you shouldn't get married and you should figure out these issues. Now there's a lot of people who realize they're like, you know what, I'll never even nag them.

I'll just get married and cheat. And let me just tell you something. That is just, if you're in that boat right now because you want to have kids and I totally understand that. But I also think this is something that you have to be honest with, either with a therapist or with your partner I actually had a guy friend once said a very successful guy and In the internet space a very close friend of mine early on who I always went to him for business advice

And he came to me for relationship advice once he said you know Emily I'm getting married I love my wife, but it freaks me out because I just want to know that like can't I like one day like I can never with anyone else and I said why don't you just talk to about it and it turns out before they're wedding yet and I'm not saying your wife or your partner's gonna do this but she gave me a hall pass and she said you know a buddy I don't want to know about it if it happens just do it and I don't want to know now that gave him and until his day he's never cheated it's probably been five six years but it was just something about having that talk so

i was encouraged people people sign up to death to his part no longer or you know think my secretary's hot but these are the kind of things that actually talk about right well you know i made a lot but you know i'm saying okay another like common reason why people cheat they say is um...

is that they want more intimacy that they're not getting what they need, they're not getting their needs filled inside the relationship. And a lot of the sometimes they say men seek validation outside the relationship, but they say for women she wants to help herself a steam, which is actually the same exact thing. So maybe men aren't feeling validated at home, they feel like their wife is just kind of beaten down on them, and maybe women they don't feel beautiful anymore. They don't feel sexy. And really that's all stuff that can get solved inside of your

relationship. You can talk to your partner about how you need compliments and how you need to be felt made. How you how you need to feel. How they need to help make you feel. No one can make you feel anyway. But if they're making you feel bad, you need to have that talk about it. I always say you need to compliment your partner, you need to affirm them, many of you see the joke with me, I'm like 10 times a day, tell her she's hot. Now I know some people like 10 times a day, really? And that sounds so superficial, but really, just like telling you appreciate them or like I love that you take the trash out of Aiber, I love that you made dinner or whatever it is. We all need to be validated, don't you think? Like when you come home and your

wife does yell to you all day, doesn't it feel bad, Anderson? Brut. We all need to be validated Don't you think like when you come home and your wife just yells at you all day? Doesn't feel bad understand brutal. I'd be like why aren't you out working? Why are you home when I get home exactly? No, I actually it's easy for me because I still think that my wife is beautiful And I'm you know newly into the the marriage just a year and a half now five I'm telling her all the time that she's pretty all day every day because like when I look at her I'm like holy shit this lady's a really really pretty and she lives in my house it's pretty awesome but I don't know 10-15 years from now hopefully I always tell her this like if you get a puppy and the pup that the dog grows into a dog the puppy grows up you will always see that

puppy you know what I mean exactly I'm thinking I'm always going to see her the way that she's beautiful I see I love you I love you I'm like you I think you will I especially if you keep talking about sex in your relationship. So the next the next point that comes out for both men and women is they want something new. They want what did you say earlier? Different. Strange trim. They want strange trim. Right. They want strange trim. And I think the same goes for men and for women, they get tired with their sex life. They also not only get tired of the same person, but I believe that they get bored and they

want something else, but they never try to turn it towards their partner and say, you know what babe? I'd really like to tie you up tonight. I think that'd be really hot. If you go over the hardest time talking to their partners about sex and about dating and all this stuff about sex and about what they want to try in the bedroom, that conversation about your sex life needs to start early on, because yes, you were all having amazing sex

the first six to 12 months, maybe two years, you know, maybe longer, but eventually, like everything in life, you're gonna want to expand it. You're gonna want to try something different. So I think people think, oh God, they make these assumptions about their partner that she'll never go for it or he'll never go for it. So the only way is to get it outside. But you never know.

I mean, talking to your partner about it and starting to learn to talk to your partner about sex, it gets a lot easier. So I would say before you cheat, communication is lubrication. How many times have you all heard me say that? So it's the last resort is where you're saying cheating. If you're going to cheat, get a divorce separate whatever, but try to work it out in your relationship. I get why people want to want to like, you know, try to tie up thing. It's like, you don't want to get rejected again. That's one good thing about being in a married, commended relationship. You don't have to deal with being rejected by people. And you don't want

your own spouse to be rejected and some of your ideas. Right. So they think I'm just going to go outside, so I have to deal with it. But I don't think, I think if you start early on, and I'm talking to you before you get married, to start talking, if there's this thing that you've always wanted to try, if you're like, she's too good of a girl, like, you know, she would never go for it, or he would never go for it, I think that you're going to be surprised. I think that many people would be surprised about that one thing that you think that your partner would never do, they might just do, or they might compromise it. You know, compromise it. They might be like,

no, I don't want my legs tied up, but you can tie my arms back. Or you can blindfold me. You know, it's a gateway. If that's a lie, I'd say no to say fine. Cheating time begins. No, don't do that either. Okay, the variety thing is, that's another one though.

That's kind of like what you're saying, strange friends or different friends. Strange, Tram. Tram? They crave variety. A lot of men admit that cheating because they crave variety in new experiences. I think this is even more so with men know even if they're happy in their current relationship but I which I find you

know I kind of find it lame but I also get it that men are meant to spread their seat if you do you get it I think you probably get it more than a lot of yeah I really do get it because I believe that I can have real intimacy and have sex with with different partners at this not like a gang bing, but I could be having sex with the guy like this week and someone else the next week and really like them all a lot and feel very connected. You think of sex as kind of like chocolate? Yes.

A little bit. Exactly. Sometimes I want chocolate. But I think a lot of women, they, wow, they don't get the primal urge is really there in a lot of women, they really, wow, they don't get the primal urge. It's really there in a lot of guys, especially early on. And lucky for us, it tends to dissipate a little bit as you get older, or hopefully once you're married. I know I was a lot worse five years ago, but I still got friends in their late 40s.

And early 50s. And it's not even the cheating, it's just like they're at the gym. And a girl walks by and they're just tortured They're just like I have to have that I can't have that but I I want it so badly it says It's like my account over to every night he talks about that was an extreme example of he is an extreme example He's one of the hosts of love line Radio show you're telling the podcast that as well. I'm on Thursday nights So I think that is more men than women women are like I don't get it. I'm happy with him. We're good. We have a good marriage. But I think for men,

it could be genetic. It could be that gene they have. It could just be, you know, whatever men see women and they want to tap that out. Biologically, it makes perfect sense. It does. It's supposed to spread, you know, the sea and spread the gene. And like, if you're not strong enough, you can't do it because you can't get out of it away from your wife because she'll hit you with a and women are are nesting you know uh... and and and the flip side uh... a lot of women can be you know emotionally withdrawal to so let's say man are out there looking for something else they want you know women are

emotional beings they don't need physical or they also need emotional support so this is a way women she this is another way to be a different. Sometimes if they retreat from the relationship, like if a man retreats and isn't there for her for her emotionally, she might see this sign that things are there through, like there's a breakup coming. So she might not be into cheating, but she's into moving on. And to avoid this being present, she might decide to cheat that could be the other way. And another thing is bedroom boredom. I kind of talked about that but you know the same old same old with a person I mean the thing this is all connected that we all want a little you know

People ask me all the time the number one question is how do we spice it up? And it starts at the beginning of your relationship because I do believe that there becomes a point of no return Because a lot of couples as we can we ever get it back We had this great spark and I understand the years that you have kids, the first, you know, five, ten years and times it can be really hard to get that spark back but it's something that you have to make a priority. Whether it's getting a babysitter once a month, once a week, whatever it is, making room, four sex and, you know, spicing things up. Buy my book, I never talk about my book anywhere, but hot sex over 200 things you could try tonight.

It's a great book, it's a great Valentine's Day present. Also, hot sex over 200 things you could try tonight. I gave you a comment. Well, try it tonight, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I say really fast, buy an Amazon, but I like that. I thought you said try it tonight, you're doing some things.

Well, it actually is. It actually 200 things you could try tonight and if you do try it all night, but the thing I love about my book and I'm not just saying this because my book, I really like this book, is that you can just flip through it. You don't need to buy special props, you know, it's just like cool, different positions. You mean, like,

let's try that tonight, baby. You know what's fun? What? I did it with my wife actually. I said, I said, we had to book your book on the coffee table. I love it. And I said, we're just going to flip to a random page. Whatever page it lands on, that's what we're doing tonight.

And did you? No, because the kind of land on something hardcore That I gave her a I'm all again and we did it again and we used well, yeah, what was it? You don't want to share I love that that's how the book should be used Okay, especially if you like me with ADD. I'm not gonna read it. Oh, yeah, put on a nightstand put on your nightstand It's beautiful illustrations. It's we actually took pictures of real people having sex and then they're illustrated Illustrations are like award winning. So it's called hot sex go to my website you can find it there and if you buy it do my Amazon link then you know That would help me too because you know I like making some money off the book at some point in life

So also another thing both men and women have said why they cheat it's a it's a revenge Because they were cheated on so women do it because he cheated he does it because she cheated Or a past relationship sheet and then she's back they were cheated on. So women do it because he cheated. He does it because she cheated. Or a past relationship sheet and they're just shooting on the sex. I've seen that happen a lot. Exactly. So they say, oh, I'm going to get you back. But to me, that's just so, so unhealthy. Go to therapy first. Work on your relationship first. But don't just, you know, don't just, I mean, I don't know how you could do that. Like to me, I'm not a revengeful person. I might just get angry, but I think, you need therapy,

and you need to work it out. I don't think that a lot of, and also here's another thing. If your partner has cheated, it doesn't mean that the relationship is over. I've actually seen a lot of couples have gotten through cheating, and it's gotten through the cheating episodes, and 20 years later, they're still together. It can make your relationship stronger. It can also tell your part, but if you're really committed to make it work, it doesn't have to mean the end.

Do you know couples who have cheated and they say together? Yeah, I mean, it takes years and years. I know how to send sexist, but I know there's a lady's like to bring it up whenever shit starts to hit fan again a little bit You know what I mean? Don't we fight in a much something else five years later and go right back to the cheating Well, that's the thing you never yeah, you kind of got to make it you kind of got to make a commitment that like we're not Gonna bring it up or he just has to pay for the rest of his life Exactly or she has to pay for the rest of her life. That's a hard one I'm telling you well, I know a lot of couples that couldn't get past it

But many you have my mom always tells me it's funny She's you know had a lot of friends who have married for 50 years and she says, you know, all my friends, she's had the same group for years. She says, they, they're on the 30s for, they had some issues and they each, whatever, but they're still together. So I think people, and of course I hear from listeners all the time, they can get through it. So I don't know, it all goes back to therapy and getting a third party to help you get

through it. The other thing is that you don't think you're in love anymore. And when you don't feel in love with your partner anymore, it can be so tempting to not deal with that feeling, but to replace those lost feelings with the excitement that comes with meeting someone new. Wow, this new person is making me feel so good and new and wanted and beautiful and desired and sexy. But it's just a really poor substitute. It is. It delays the inevitable. So again, if you're thinking of cheating, go back to working on your relationship. So the other thing is they also say women cheat

sometimes because they want to be the bad girl, their frisky behavior. You know, again, if you've always been frisky girl, you probably, I think you probably didn't start in your relationships again. These are the conversations that you have at the beginning of the relationship. A lot of people hide things. They have all these secrets from each other before they even get together. So that's what I want to say about that. The other thing I want to bring up is a genetic component. Okay.

Now this is controversial, but I found it very interesting. So there was an article, a study that came out recently. I think it was really good, all the Eliot Spitzer stuff was happening, and I've been reading a lot about it. And there's a study that came out that it's the first kind of study and researchers at the Binghamton University State University of New York. Bingham University, State University of New York. They discover that about half of all people have a gene that makes them more vulnerable

to promiscuity in cheating. Those with a certain variant of the dopamine receptor, D4 polymorphism, so DRD4 gene, were more likely to have a history of uncommitted sex, including one-night stands and acts of infidelity. So, basically, it's a thrill seeking gene. Yeah, it's gonna say these also addicts. Yeah, so it's connected to a thrill seeking, I thought you were the basically that I was gonna go.

Is that basically, is that what I was gonna say? You said basically a lot, which is, if you say that on Love Line, we'd be in love. And this show, or always do it. Oh, on this show. You don't say it on Love Line at all. But tonight, have I on this show?

You said it like nine times. No. Like five, five to nine. I'm so sorry if everyone's turning off. I didn't mean it. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, basically, we don't mean it. We have a basically bell on the line. Every time a caller calls up, it's basically we ding them. And I just don't. That's 11. Okay, I'm done. Okay, so the desired cheat or sleep round seems to originate in the brain's pleasure and reward center with the rush of dopamine motivates those who are vulnerable of researchers have said.

So there is variation in the thrill seeking gene and those with much longer, those with more of this gene are more likely to be curious. Yeah, and it turns out that everyone has a gene, but the height varies, the amount of information and various, so it's also, you can inherit the gene. So when the brain is stimulated, drinking alcohol, jumping from planes, having sex, it releases dopamine, the pleasure hormone, which we all know, but the people with the DRD4 gene need more and more and more stimuli to feel satisfied. So I mean, but not everyone's convinced of it.

They say certain people are vulnerable to affairs. You know, it just depends on it. So I think that's interesting. Most everybody's vulnerable to the affairs. Yeah, exactly. But I think, you know, but not everyone who has a gene either is going to become like a slut or a cheater. I think it's just interesting to note,

because I feel like there are certain guys that I know or that I've dated or that I can tell. I'm like, he won't be a cheater. I know this guy would never cheat. And then there's guys I've dated like, he might be a cheater. I know this guy would never cheat. And then there's guys I've dated, like, he might be a cheater. And usually I'm right. Do you know what I mean? You're actually because you're banging him

and his wife's at home. And you call him, you say, Emily Quiet, I gotta talk to the life. I don't sleep with married men anymore. Any more? I've had my moments, but I used to be a cheater. I've talked about this being a reformed cheater. I do not cheat anymore.

But how can you? I just, what do you mean, how could I? Yeah, I mean, you're not really in a position to cheat because of that relationship Right. Well, if I don't commit you can't cheat right right because anyone's sick enough They go out and they get in a relationship so they can cheat because that's their favorite kind of sex You know, I think that a lot of yes, and I think a lot of people get into relationships thinking that it will cure Their desire to cheat they're like well, I found this woman. I'm madly in love with her. So my cheating days are behind me. And we all know the dopamine, you know, you know, if you, if you look at a person's brain, a brain of a person who's falling in love,

like if you look at the brainwaves, it's exact identical to that to a person who is, who's going insane or who's like, okay, like they look at these studies. It's like the same exact pattern because you're falling in love or you're these studies. It's like the same exact pattern because you're falling in love or you're going crazy. Your body is just in this crazy form when you're falling in love. You can't imagine that you'd ever cheat on this beautiful person in front of you. But chemicals, they go up, they go down.

People's jowls go up and down. People do a lot of things with addictions. They think you're gonna help them. I'll date a sober person so I won't drink or I'll get this job So I won't you know But anyway, I just thought y'all might like to know that you shouldn't cheat and I know that you might thanks I'm not here to shame you on it I'm just here to say people ask me all the time and there's some reasons for it and to if you're thinking about it

I promise you it's better. It's like ribbon abandoned off Just talk to your partner about what you're missing in the relationship It would go into therapy ASAP because therapy is amazing and we'll have your relationship There is no worse way to hurt someone or be hurt Exactly. I think most of us can speak to that. Yeah, it's the most painful thing in the whole world And it's selfish when it comes down to it whether you have the gene or not We should just call it the gene the self-is gene. It is a selfish gene every you know I'm bored around myself at times, but every drug addict I know myself include a lot of my really good friends and family They're just the self is most selfish people

I know whether it's genetic or not It's been proven that with drugs and drinking it is genetic But what it bows down to is you are more likely to give into that self or side of you Whether it's chemicals or not exactly so whatever it is It's like that impulse that moment and we it's hard to hard to say no because you think it's gonna make you feel good But usually end up like like most addiction. What's the difference in a good addiction and a bad addiction have you ever heard this? No. A bad addiction feels good when you're doing it and you feel bad after but a bad, wait wait. Good addiction probably feels bad during my life. Exactly. Same thing. I learned that in yoga. Hey,

you know it would be great for a future episode. Tell me. Signs of cheating. Ooh. That'd be a good one, right? That is a great one. Will you email that to me right now? Nope. Oh, man. Because if I do it, then the recording, it's all screwed up. I can't do it. Signs of cheating.

I know. I'll tell you that. I've only done that one before in the past, but not in a really long time. Your partner might be cheating on you. That's a great one. Personally speaking, when I was in high school, I fell in love with the first time and I was with this girl for three years and I was like 15 when it began and 18 when it ended and this was the girl for me like my life Relationship wise was over she was it and then I found out that she was you know banging the half of the gang that was at my school

As well as a few football players and you know it all came apart and I was not a big fan of monogamy for a while after that Not that I cheated a bunch, but I'm just like you know what? It's all sham and took me a long time to get back to recover from that. Did you ever think that she was cheating? No, not at all. I was very naive, but I was a kid too, you know? Right. No, the first time I had a guy cheat I mean too. I was like, I was surprised. I was like in my 20s and I thought, oh my god, he loves me so much I mean the best acts of our life. He tells me he adorns me with gifts, with gifts, but mostly with praise and love and I go, shot, that he cheated. So I think that that's really rude, congruent, like, can really set you back.

It can scar you for a while. I can scar you. So, but actually, I have read about this and written about signs of their cheating. They always talk about, um, he or she, they start dressing better. Like, why is he wearing that certain cologne? Why does he always shower when he gets home? Guarding the cell phone. All of a sudden, there's a lock on the cell phone.

That's a pure one, yeah. Right? Pass or protect it on everything. Begins making hurtful remarks about you. Start spending hours late at work. You start hearing these things. Doesn't want sex hiding things. I mean, I think we all

kind of can get them, but that is a good show. Or if you've been, if you've got ever been cheated on or have signs of it or anything to add to this conversation or questions at all about anything sex relationship, you can always email me feedback at sex family.com. Okay. But I know. Before we move on to it, a lot of the time too, they go the other way hard and they'll start to like be extra nice to You and get you extra things because the guilt is building up during the time Yeah, that's too to there if they're bringing you flowers too much you might wonder what's going on too many compliments Yeah, another sign of cheating or people who have propensity to cheat is is that projection?

So if you're with someone who's terribly jealous. Yeah, and there was like There's like we're going what are you doing? What who you on the phone with why you always out so late if you're with someone who's terribly jealous, and there was like, there's like, where are you going? What are you doing? Who are you on the phone with? Why are you always out so late? And you're like, I'm not doing anything. A lot of times it's because they're the ones cheating. That slut in high school that broke my heart. She was like that. She was always accusing, and I was most smoking cigarettes at a donut store reading about sharks and marine biology while she was out partying. And she was always accusing me of cheating. Exactly. So be careful. If you're a partying and she was always accusing me of cheating exactly

So be careful if your partner out of nowhere Starts accusing you of these all these strange things that make absolutely no sense to you I mean if you are cheating, you know why but if it makes no sense to you This should make you go hmm. And you know what that is it's so simple It's them thinking with their brain as you and they're thinking that you're an attractive person who goes out you have The capability of cheating if I was you I totally would be exactly. That's almost the best That's almost one of the best science tell. Yeah, I do think so. It's a bad one. It's a vicious cycle a lot of time too It starts going back and forth and you're right. I've had so many

Yeah, I've had a lot of people do that to me too. That's a great one I'm so glad you you brought that up and understand science of cheating Science of cheating sex with them, but let's go to something more positive now or not that isn't positive I hope that was informative How did she and don't don't she then Valentine's say that would be the worst state of shape I had a friend who waited till Valentine's day to break up with his girlfriend because he hated her so much No, that's terrible. Did you do something wrong? She used just kind of a bitch. Right.

Guess a lot of women that happens are men. But yeah, hopefully you won't break up on Valentine's Day and you won't propose on Valentine's Day. I just think that's lame. You should say you were proposing for another day. Unless you did that and I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You're more personal.

Did you propose on Valentine's Day? I mean, look at me. Absolutely. Of course. Did you really? Hell no. Okay, go. Easter. Don't do it. I've been on Easter Oh, that's good because Easter's like about the bunnies Yeah, and she I gave her a little Easter egg hunt and I put the ring in the last egg that she found

You did because the Easter is her favorite holiday. Oh, it is see that's what see that is so sweet I love it. She still has the egg that I hit it in really? Yeah, I'm embarrassed. I shouldn't have said any of this wait No, that's really cute. She sells the I'm embarrassed. I shouldn't have said any of this. Wait, no, that's really cute She says I would I know I would keep the egg. I keep I have every love letter every email every dildo every dildo No, you do in your apartment. You told me I do it so funny because dr. Drew I was on his podcast this morning his All about women podcasts and he was like will you please take pictures of your apartment and send to me I want to see your house because I do have sex toys everywhere. And I actually do need to start getting rid of some not the ones that are just because I've tried them all and

They are all over the place, but those are the used ones. Those are in my bedroom private. My humor is a little dark sometimes But this is even funny It seems like if you need to give some of those ways as long as they're new like the battered women shelter could probably use Exactly vibrate relief program. Yeah, absolutely. And I actually have I know I'm sorry I'm gonna get a hundred emails guys are, I have given a lot of way. I actually did give one to an organization that my friend worked for actually for battered women in LA. I gave her a bunch. I also donated some to the Folsom Street Fair in San Francisco.

I had a lot of condoms and fleshlates and stuff. So most of them are gone now, but I mean but I get them because I have to test them. But I will be giving away toys. In fact, valentines a week, follow me on Twitter, sex with Emily, and also like my Facebook page if you haven't already, which I don't know why you haven't, because it's chock full of information. We're going to be doing a Twitter contest where every day in Facebook, social media, Instagram, everything, where we're giving away toys. And we give away a lot. We're going to be giving away cool stuff. Probably some of these things that I'm about to talk about now

So do you got toys for twats toys for twats? I love it. You got that No, but I will but if I call it toys for twats, I'll probably get kicked off Facebook I did get kicked off Facebook my my sex with my page once early on I Don't remember what it was. It was nothing, I mean, it was something I'm masturbation. It was like five years ago. Obviously, I had like all these likes and they took down my page, but I got it back up. Run by, I don't even know what's run by. I know. Okay. So here's some things. If you're wondering about Valentine's day, which honestly, I'm not a huge fan of the, you know, it depends on your dating,

right? And they say many, many. It's an obligation. I can tell you right now for obligation. I absolutely hate it. And every girl I dated, I let them know up front like we're getting close to February. I'd be like, look, I hate this hallmark and vents at holiday. It's against everything I stand for. I'm not giving in. And I never did. I never get them anything. I never got them anything. No. I want to do it. We do stuff all the time, but not for Valentine's Day. I treat it like any any other Tuesday or whatever day it fell on. Refuse do with the knowledge. Seriously, you guys don't even go to dinner or anything. But now that I'm married, I kind of feel like all bets are off and yeah, I give her whatever

she wants and I don't want her to feel slighted. So I... Oh, so now that you're married. I give her a couple thing. Yeah, I give her like a box of chile. It's something not to win. So I don't put so much effort into it. Do you want another sex story? Do you want me to bring you one? Yeah, that'd be perfect. Did I ever bring you one? Oh yeah, you brought me a few

I've got a couple you gotta let me know how they worked out What she like talk about that. I don't talk about that Well, how am I gonna give you something right for her? You can talk about off air. How's that Anderson? I'll point. I don't talk to you about it off air either for embarrassing Okay, fine then I don't want to get your way for anything to make her happy the little one with spikes. Okay I don't want to get your wife anything to make her happy. The little one with spikes. Okay. I don't remember who it spikes. There's something you put on your finger. Oh, the nubby thing.

Did she like that? It's tough. It's a finger vibrator. Those are so good. Okay, so everything I'm going to mention now, you can get with at sexwithemily.com slash good vibes. Use coupon code Emily and you will get 15% off your order. And you should order now when you hear this because, um, galvanize is around the corner. So these are the

excellent tech about some couple vibes. So, um, some couple things because, first of all, here's the thing I've got to say, even if you're a guy and you hate it, you love it, she loves it, you hate it, it doesn't, I don't even care what it is. I believe, take, you know, you don't need fancy reservations, you don't need the flowers and chocolates. What I think is, it's a day of love. And I like to say love, I like to think about that as sex. So this is a great day to have amazing sex. And this is a great day to do something different in the bedroom that you don't normally

do. And you can make dinner at home, like pick up something from whole foods or Ralph's, I don't care, and have a romantic picnic in your bedroom, but have do something sexy, do something a little different, have a threesome with a sex toy. So I'm going to talk about you with my favorite, some of my favorite couple toys. So for years, the Wee Vibes, have you heard of the Wee Vibes? It's this sex toy that, it's especially made for couples, and they've had a Wee Vibes one, a Wee V wee vibe two, a wee

vibe three. And I'm going to be honest with you all. I haven't loved them. So how they work is just go to, it's going to take me, it's hard to explain these things, but it goes inside of her. So it hits her inside of her vagina. It looks like a you, right? So it goes inside and then the outside is hitting her clitoris.

But if you're having sex on top of her, you're rubbing it onto her, on the top of her clitoris and inside it's going inside of her vagina hitting her juice spot. Sounds great, but like the three sort of slipped around, but the four is supposed to be like their best one yet, okay? You can control it with six vibration modes, with a wireless remote control. It also has an echo pattern that throbs between the ends of the vibe from credible in and out simulation. It's waterproof, waterproof, environmental friendly, and you guys can make sweet, sweet love together with the WeVive 4. Okay, then there's a, okay, whatever the Mimi, I've talked about it for a million years, but I love the Mimi because it's very powerful, and I mean powerful.

And discrete. It looks like a little, like a skipping stone and it's very soft and it fits in the palm of your hand. And it has six levels and the vibrations are so strong and it's super quiet. So if you have kids or you just hate the north, because I hate those vibran... It's just for women or for me that I don't want to be distracted when I'm in sex. I'm going to be in my mind. I got to be in my body Yeah, you can't even hear it like that This is why I love James here with Anderson

Not only because he's great, but he has some defects what I do change the the level on those A little stone on the viber to get a little stone if you were seen that gets the Mimi so I heard you talk about the juju meaning on the viability of the little stone you have you were seen that gets the me me so I heard you talk about the juju me you know you like five thousand times so I just love it it's soft and it's it's it's a little tiny plus button and you just one two three four five six and it turns on and it goes higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher and higher. No they do it's for cultural stimulation she still needs your penis inside of her this is for the outer yeah it's for the. So the first one was for the inner but the outer and it's cute It's pink and it also comes with a tie like a silk tie that you can tie around her if you want a blindfold her

Or she wants to wear like dressing up like mr. Potato head. No, you know, you're gonna tie on it I thought you meant you Can tie you could dress up your vibrators however you want but it's really the screen and and he'll leave you know You don't know that you're using it and he however you want. But it's really the screen, and he'll leave, you know, he'll have to know that you're using it, and he can also use it as well, because a lot of women, as we know, need extra-collateral stimulation during sex. So again, that's sex-delmi.com,

such good vibes, keep on going out of my way. Then there's the new one from GGU, which is I'm obsessed with now, the Mio, it is a cop ring, penis ring. I don't like saying cop ring, well I talk to the media all the time, and I say penis ring. So. We call it a cop ring, penis ring. I don't like saying cop ring. Well, I talk to the media all the time, and I say penis ring.

So we call it a sea ring. A sea ring, that's so amazing, is that they help men stay harder. That's why they're originally invented, right? That they've had them in shops forever. But so men can stay harder longer, but these have an incredible range of vibrations, and they're really comfortable fit. They're stretchy, they're one size fits all. I've given some to some guys and they're like that will fit me

But believe me it stretches and it's waterproof and it's really like quiet again It's super soft Amazingly sturdy silicone and it's durable to handle your sexual acrobatic So there's some penis rings it like slip inside all around But the great thing about this is that it's powerful vibrations on both sides and the reason why you want vibrations is because again it goes on your penis keeps you harder, but when you're having sex with her it hits her clitoris. She's going up and down, she's getting this vibration on her clitoris and many a man loves

the vibration on their balls and on their penis. Vibrations not only for womenally, so this is the MEO MIO. It's like a little helper if you're a guy. Exactly. It's like your wing man. So the helper? If you're a wing man, they also give you a reach around a little. It's just your thing.

Have you ever tried one of these rings you're not going to answer? But I might give you one. Yeah. OK. OK. OK, great. That was a good conversation. OK, love life, smile.

OK, OK, the love life line. I know if you've heard of oh my bod for years They've been around and they've made these vibrators that actually go to like the town. They started with the I pod yeah I pod When people at iPods and it goes to the sound of your music So oh my bod is now expanded so you could um, you know, I'm saying it plugs into your phone now Your panties right yeah and panties they got remote control panties and all the stuff and it vibes to your music. But now they have this new line called Love Life. So I'm just saying they make great products and I love the couple actually, Brian and Suki, their friends of

mine from all these sex world women. But the Love Life line is so like it's really cool because there's six vibrators in the collection and each one of them is sort of named after different stages of their relationship. They've been together like 25 years. And this one is called the Smile Retardable Vibrator. And it's really special because it's adorable. It's really cute, it's white, it has a little heart on it. It's a palm-sized cutie.

It doubles as a clitoral powerhouse with the most intense vibrations concentrated in the heart-shaped silicone nub. Plus what man can can really possibly fear a cute vibrating heart. What are the other states of the relationship? Okay, is that good? I'll pull it up right now because I think the love light line, like I saw them at um because you know I go to all these um sex conventions. Sexes can match. I'm looking it up now. And please tell me they have one of the argument and it's kind of like rough and spiky. What did you say?

They have like one called the organ. Oh right, the rabbit piggy. We're going to crack each other's eyes up. Wait, hold on, let me find it real quick. So they've been together and yeah, so I go to these shows and I always see all the new products coming out beforehand. And we've got the love life. So they've got the smile rechargeable vibrator the um discover it's a mini rechargeable bidey that was like the discovery part of the relationship does it have a camera on it no that's a good idea they have

the share couples ring they have the dream rechargeable vibrator and wait how's the couples ring I'm sorry to cut you know how does a couple of rings it's the same thing it's a penis ring so does it go inside her or they'll capture you same thing? It's a penis ring So it doesn't go inside her or don't capture you. No, no, no, it's a penis ring But they're calling it a cop. It's right. You know what they don't have the whole like Definition of why they made this line here. I just know it if you buy the um I love the idea behind it though with all the different stages. I know it's really cute And I don't even know if you put this on there But like I just loved it because I love them as a couple and whatever

So all their stuff is super cute and the thing I like about all these products from the Love Lifeline is that they're that's their grave around IZ because they do have hearts on all the product. Like not cheesy hearts but they're pink and white and they're like really sweet and cute presents. So I really did pick out my favorite ones here. I'm not just like I wouldn't do that to you people. These are really ones that I've tried and that I like.

Okay, so also if you're not okay, so those are some good couples ones, but also their clip-tour all, so you know, you can use them alone. But again, singles, let's talk about singles on Valentine's Day for a second. Because I honestly, I'm single most Valentine's Day. In fact, I'm going to be in New York on Valentine's Day. And it's funny, because my partner Tony for Emily and Tony, he was like, I'm going to fly home on the 15th. He's like, well, because he's buried, you know, you're going to be cool.

Valentine's Day is the 14th. And I'm like, I don't care about it. I love being, I mean, I'm not, but I'm going to be a little bit more, like, I'm gonna fly home on the 15th. He's like, well, you, because he's married, you know, is it, are you gonna be cool? Like Valentine's Day is the 14th and I'm like, I don't care about like, I love being, I mean, I, I want to friends is up to do, but I don't put that much value on it because I have been alone a lot on Valentine's Day. I always think that like, first of all, if you're alone on Valentine's Day, I don't want you all bumming out with your friends and why don't I have some blah blah blah? Is it day about love? Love yourself. You know, like Woody Allen said, masturbation is sex with someone you love. Have some love with yourself. Plus, there's so many great single parties going on. Oh my God, it's the best day to go to a bar.

I'm usually really jealous that I'm not single on. I know me too. Because everyone at a bar that night just put down your cell phone because if you notice these days you go everyone's on their phone the whole time. So if you're single and you're going to bar and you're on a phone the whole time, it's not going to happen. But you know, so all your friends, they've seen their boyfriend, they got a miss with that and they're so great and they say, someday you'll understand.

Well, you can tell them about this. Someday you'll understand that you had eight orgasms and a half hour. So here's what you got on Valentine's Day, you people with your, with your, okay. So we got a lack of the original magic wand that we've talked about for a long time. It's the Mac check of all vibrators. It doesn't pretend to be anything. If it's not, it plugs into the wall. It's the most powerful vibrator on the planet.

I thought you just were making a noise about the magic wand. I heard it in my brain. So it helps you discover how much pleasure your body is capable of feeling, which is very powerful. So if you're saying how much you're watching movies and masturbating, that's a really great night. There's also the original magic wand. there's the mystic, okay? So it's kind of, it's mini, so if you don't want the whole magic wand big experience,

it's called the mystic, and you can experience it without the big bulk, you don't have to plug it in. And it's probably ladies out there who are longing for a strong vibrator with some compassion for the vagina. So it's not the big matric. It's not the the ladies out there who are longing for a strong vibrator with some compassion for the vagina So it's not the big match. It's not the big match. It's really powerful and again all these Saxony comms such good vibes keep I go to Emily. Sorry for the repeating of I hate when I do that But I don't want you to miss this then there's the Fifi also by J.J. Waterproof retardeble vibrator. So you remember the rabbit you know the rabbit vibe

Where's everyone knows the rabbit? Yeah, the Saxony city Well, if you look at that friggin rabbit from 10 years ago approved for charge of a vibrator so you remember the rabbit you know the rabbit vibrate. Of course everyone knows the rabbit. Right. The section of the city. Well if you look at that friggin rabbit from 10 years ago, it was like this huge rabbit with a unicorn on the battery pack like it took like four double D's. Right. It was so annoying. It was like a butterfly that was similar as well. Yeah.

There was a weird one that strapped to you like. Yes, the butterfly. So I have that one. They still make that one but it's a little more souped up now. But yes, the the bunny was not very fee fee-ish. Right. But if you look at the VVZ, it's you fee more souped up now. Yes, the bunny was not very fee-fee-ish. Right, but if you look at the VVs, it's a great rabbit. It's particularly breed of rabbit that gives full internal stimulation.

Well, it's thumping big floppy ears, hit your clitoris. It's rechargeable. You can use it over and over again without having to leave your bedroom for those double D batteries, which sucked. And then there's the stronic ink thruster. So this has been like it all the rage at all the sex toys this year. And again, whether you're seeing her in a couple of these are all great gifts. So the thruster is by fun factory. And it's not a vibrator, it thross. Hmm. I think I did an Instagram of it. If you check out my Instagram, I don't understand

what, how does it get? It's like vibrating, like moves backwards and forwards. I guess that, but what's like supporting it? It's like, it's a motor. No, you just hold it. It thrusts. Oh, you hold it yourself. But if you put it on the ground, it'll, I mean, if you put it, you just turn it out,

it thrusts forward. So they say that a lot of women say that using vibrator is the same as doing the penis and they're totally right, but sex engineers did develop the stronic eans that's EINS, so it can hit exactly the right spot while making a perfect forward back motion. It's mathematically impossible that a man and his penis can be that precise and innovative while I'm realistically pumping away. The best part you hold the controls to its thrusting member. I don't know if the people like this.

It's a, I really thought it was super cool and it's something different, but people are like crazy, crazy crazy. Is it like those, you've been like a furniture company where they show you how many times, they have that thing that's just sitting down on the chair over and over again? You know what I mean?

Have you seen that? Like hitting springs and it's just like on nonstop. Is it, I think it's kind of like that. I would like to say something for the men out there or to the ladies. You're having to talk about, yes. Listen to all these products. I know the flashlight exists

and you're probably gonna get there. Oh yeah. But that's it, right? Look at all these different things to please the ladies. It's difficult, it's hard. I mean, there's an entire, there's entire factories and labs and scientists working on all this stuff on how to please the ladies

It's difficult. It is difficult, but you know I have to say that my mom's texting me right now. This is embarrassing Oh, no tired that we're talking about your penis. I Actually should mention the flashlight because I think that the flashlight if you go to my website and you click on the flashlight banner We have special discounts there as well for you all you people's. Flashlight is pretty amazing and I it's like does everyone know if the flashlight is do you know do you know what it is Anderson? I think a lot of people know it's a weird name. I guess because it's supposed to look like a flashlight. Yeah like a flashlight but it's

a flashlight and it's the kind of thing that you can like you know travel with and it looks like a it is really one of the only male sex toys. It's like a masturbation save and a lot of porn stars have them made of their vagina, but it's also great for stamina training. It just can feel great to masturbate yourself with something else besides your hand. Truck drivers love it. Truck drivers love it. People love it.

You put some lube in it. It's a good time. And so if you go to have a set and click on the flashlight band or again, you'll get a special discount on that as well. I hope that you will buy it there. If you're a guy, if you're like a, you know, the women listening to the show, you're like, I wanna buy my man a sex toy.

I don't blame you because I gave one to my married friend the other day and he's been married for like 20 years and don't get me wrong. He loves his wife so much that I was so impressed the first time I met him because he was one of these married guys who like, showed me how like beautiful his wife is

and how love he is and all that stuff but he came over my house to help me with some stuff some technical stuff literally like engineering stuff that sounds wrong but um he was um I said oh I just got this whole thing of flashlight to you out one and I saw him later on and I said so what do you think of the flashlight and he's like this sounds okay this is going to totally refute my whole story he's like like, Emily, if it cooked, I would marry it. Even though he loves his wife so much. I'm cheating. I thought I was going to go dark. I thought you were going to say, and then he like, as he was telling me, like, put some wires in the wall and he came up and

went up my skirt. Oh my God. It sounds so bad. I know. But you can say 35% of you want to buy your guy something because guys like they might not want to buy it for themselves. Like, oh God, this chick's going to come over and see me if this vagina. But they don't know. buy it for themselves like, oh god, this chick is going to come over and see me if it's vagina. But they don't all look it's not all like, you know, some porn stars pussy, it's like actually just feels good. And it's also another great couple story because you can masturbate your partner with it. I always think that hand jobs, I know guys really hand jobs, I can give myself a hand job,

but it kind of feels good when someone else is doing it. Old fashioned. Old fashioned, old fashioned. I actually went through a movement where I wanted to bring the hand job back for a while. How would you do that, Emily? No, I'd put a proposition on the ballot or something. She started getting a soap box out there,

and you all the next to the guy talking about Jesus. Yeah, exactly. I feel like people were like, so into hand jobs, like in high school, but don't you think every once in a while? I know you'd rather a blow job, okay? Hand jobs are pretty sweet. Right? Yeah, especially if she's teasing with the mouth. Teasing with the mouth.

I'm not saying it has to be either a handjob or a blowjob. It's just, it's kind of nice to bring back. And lazy ladies on Valentine's Day, why not get a flashlight, right? Bless work for you. Bless work for me, what if we what? If the lazy ladies get a flashlight for their men. A lazy lady, get a room.

Or when she has a period. Or the period, yeah. But you can say that. Let's blowjob week. No, I'm gonna. That is that is low job week that's so funny I should do something with that too what I was gonna say a gift certificate to a massage parlor but that's probably not very valentine you you should give her a massage with an Emily and Tony massage candle better yeah because I'm telling you so I've been well it doesn't involve the strange but it's better yeah I mean women love

that but that's what I'm saying is so intimate about a massage is so I've been well I don't involve the strange but it's better yeah I mean women love that but that's what I'm saying is so intimate about a massage is that I've actually been dating this guy for a little bit and I gave mechanical and I was at his house one day and he lit it and I and again no one understands these goddamn candles until you use it and then everyone who uses it freaks out I was okay he lit it and I was okay laid down and I used like poured a little bit on his back and it's like of course I was like oh my lit it and I was like, he laid down. And I used to pour it a little bit on his back and it's like, of course, I was like, oh my God, it's going to be hot. It's like warm oil and he was like, oh my God.

And it's warm. It's warm. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to.

It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. It's free to. I'm not even like the best massageer, but it just makes you a good massageer, because you feel so good, and he's like freaked out about it.

He's like, I want every sentence. And it actually was a good move. I'm like, I never, some guy used it on me a few months ago, but I never actually, that's not true, I'm probably, I'm not sure. Okay. He's not listening to the word you guys, aren't together anymore.

He's gonna show, I just, I hate being able to listen. I got in so much trouble. It's the fifth guy you used it on. No, second. So you, you use it on? No, second So you you light them up and then you go in the shower right and then you get out and this it probably smells nice Yeah, I'm in the bathroom and then you've used it just to I just use it for it out in the morning because it's like I use coconut based I use coconut and soybean oil based oil lotion anyway all the time because it's the most hydrating thing for your skin

Like have you read these articles like like a hundred and more, and used this with coconut oil? You should do this on your health kit. I'm not going to read about that. I put it on my toast. You can put it in your hair. You can put it in your face. So you eat with it? You can use it as a lubricant.

I swear to God, coconut oil is the miracle. Everyone Google this right now, miracle. And so that's what my candles are made out of. So it's all natural and good for you. It's not that weird about eating what you smear on you. Not that you're going to eat it afterwards, but that you can use it for dual purposes. That's kind of weird. It is weird, but that's why it's a miracle.

That's why coconut oil is a miracle solution. So yeah, okay, so I'm going to read an email. So we've got a few minutes left. Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So dear Emily, I've had a problem for a long time, but I seem to embarrass talk about, to talk to anyone about it. I'm a 38 year old male, and I will get to straight to the point.

When I have sex, I have no problem lasting, but when I ejaculate, I don't have it orgasm. Again, I ejaculate, but there's no more tingles. This has been going on so long that it's starting to affect my love life as I am starting to no longer enjoy sex and I'm like what's the point? I've had to live this up, but I can't seem to find anything. I greatly appreciate any light You might be able to shed on the solution Thanks in advance thanks in advance Peter So I we've heard this before are you've heard this before, right, that people he, he jackedates because they actually have an orgasm. No, I hear the opposite. Usually

retrograde, great, ejaculation where they have all the sensation, but they don't produce anything. Right. So it sounds like troublesome. This might be troublesome. So I want to say Peter, I would say go to your doctor, see if they can figure it out. I want to know if anything's changed in your life that could have prompted the problem. Are you taking any medications? Have you any surgeries? Have you any pains? I mean, you say this has been going on in your entire life.

And a lot of times men have issues like this, but they're like nervous about talking to their doctors about it. Also, you know, kegletrizises, they, they, they, again, see your doctor first, but through after making my iPhone app Kaggle Camp, I've heard from more men that their orgasms are so much stronger and they feel so much better because of it. I have a friend who got to like level 20 on my Kaggle Camp and he was like, Emily, I swear, I used to, you know, I'm coming like I was 22 years old and like might shot across the room and he's like 38.

So, you know, sometimes when you strengthen your PC muscles, you can have stronger orgasms and better stamina. And this goes for women too, you have stronger orgasms. But again, I would say Peter, this is a unique one to me. I would have to say, yeah, talk to your doctor about this. I don't want you to be if you have a frustrating sex life. And so you said when you have sex,

you have no problem lasting, but you don't have the orgasm so that Bums me out. I would say if it's any medication. Yes, and Dr. Drew is walked in and I just I ran a past and he said go Check get checked out by doctor. Okay. Okay. Oh, okay, Dr. Drew as we all know Dr. Depends he's very serious doctor for Rizzle and he says go check it out So Peter that's what we got to say to you and he's right. Okay, that's all we got time for and Anderson, thank you so much for everything tonight. Thanks everyone, remember all these great gifts,

sexbelmy.com slash good vibes, use coupon, good Emily. My candles, and make a great gift, Emily and Tony.com, use coupon code Emily. And I love you all. Thank you so much for emailing and writing, and texting, and twittering, and all that stuff. Love hearing from you. Thanks so much, was it good for you? Email me, feedback and twittering and all that stuff. Love hearing from you. Thanks so much.

Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at suckswithemily.com. Crazy Girl products carry unique, fair-moan and fused products that scientifically make you hotter and feel more confident. I love their new after-dark line, especially their lip, nip, tangle. To find out what that means, go to crazygirlpotics.com. Use coupon code Emily25 and get 25% off your purchase when you buy something at CrazyGirlPotics.com.

Thank you.