Sex With Emily - SWE: Why You're Bad in Bed

Episode Date: January 18, 2013

You’re not bad in bed because you don't have a huge penis that lasts forever. You’re bad in bed because-- you forget about foreplay, you don't know how to go down on them, you don’t go down on them enough, you have sex like a jackrabbit, you aren't thinking about their pleasure, or you're so scared of doing something wrong that you don't do anything at all. Listening to this podcast will make you great in bed. Or at least better than before. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Music Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our secret institutions Betrubized they call them in a bygone way Hey Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken He thinks you're kind of cute

The girls got every standard so much The women know about shrinkage Isn Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so proud of you. Being bad feels pretty good.

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out all their fun products today. Thanks for listening. You're listening to Sex with Emily, we're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithfamily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, sign up for mailing lists. And just check out my goddamn website because let me tell you something. If you sign up, you're going to be winning a lot of free prizes, a lot of sex toys, and getting all the sex information you need to have better sex. And really, who doesn't need to have better sex? Just tell me. Do you know anyone who doesn't want to have better sex and more interesting sex and more unique sex? I don't think I know anyone like that. So if you continue to listen to our podcast which we've been doing for eight years,

your sex life will improve. What up, Menace? How you doing today? Oh, I'm doing Dandy. Okay. Exactly. All right, except for explaining exactly what happened because we've already recorded this show today for an entire hour and then what happened? Okay, I'm very sad like I'm actually in tears right now, but I'm gonna hide it from all of my listeners is that okay So medicine and I are not in the same city right now. I'm in Los Angeles. He's in San Francisco

But it's very easy for us to do the show Sort of I have this digital recorder and I by mistake mistake, put the mic in the little slot that said headphones, not the one that said microphone. So I recorded for one hour a fucking kickass show that you would have all loved and it didn't work. And now we have to give you a short show because, you know, I'm, everyone knows that I'm in the gym and I have to go with the trainer. Oh,, menacing the gym, menacing the gym. Jesus. Oh sorry. It's not my fault. You plugged it in for an hour in the wrong place. I know. I'm sorry people. Next week we'll have a

much longer show, but I just thought we should get down to the bare minimum of what people reading emails from people and the topic of the show. I was totally way for the people I swear to God, but I can't miss this. I'm under a contract and stuff like that. I know. You're so sweet, Menace. I appreciate it. Thanks for printing up with Mike. This will never happen again. But it's hard technically speaking. I've been relying on menace all these years to do the technical part of my life.

And sometimes I just got to kick ass on my own. So today's show, we are going to talk about, I'm going to skip the emails for now, but we love hearing from you at feedback at sectsethelmy.com. We are going to talk about why you are bad and bad, and how you can be better and bad. So do any of these sound familiar to you. We're gonna run down some points here and I wanna know from you, you know, I wanna hear back from you.

Did you learn anything from this where you're doing some of these things that you could have improved upon? So why are you bad and bad? Be, and I don't wanna say you're bad. I'm saying those rooms and you can room me for you can improve. Being bad and bad isn't just based on whether the sex doesn't last

long or whether you can't climax. Good sex has to do with the overall experience from beginning to end. So guys, here's why you might be bad and bad. For the guys, foreplay just isn't a priority. Fore play is the most important thing for women. Build up attention before going inside her. Wait a bit longer to take off her clothes. Rubber clitoris before taking off her underwear. This is a great trick because women, if you go straight for our clitoris, it doesn't feel good.

It means for some women in my butt, for many women we're not warmed up yet, we're not ready to go. And there you are, all over our clitoris, and we can't even feel good. It means for some women in my, but for many women we're not warmed up yet, we're not ready to go. And there you are all over our clitoris and we can't even feel anything. So don't go to our clitoris first, okay? Move slow and if it's not a priority for you for play now, you got to make it a priority priority. Go down in her for a long time with the goal of making her orgasm. You can lick her clitoris, find out what tongue moves work, and even if you're not a God in bed, you can make the sexual experience about her pleasure.

You can be better in bed. So here's some more, let's focus on more of the oral sex tips, Menace, because I know you want to write these down. I love them. Oral sex tips, menace, because I know you want to write these down. I love them. Oral sex tips. Number one, start slow. Kiss your way down your body before making contact with the vagina. This will build up anticipation and turn her on before you get into the real action.

Number two, don't go straight for the clitoris. When you begin to kiss and lick her vulva, work your way in slowly from the outside. Start by licking the outer edges of the outer lips, then very slowly spread them. Lick and kiss to inner lips and around the vagina. Remember to start licking gently. So do you see there's a pattern here being gentle and slow? Slow now sometimes women of course might like you to speed it up, but it's good to start slow You got that mess. Yes Can you hear me? Okay, you happy? I can hear you kind of okay, okay

So the clitoris. What to do, what to, when you do begin to do it, click the clitoris again, do it softly, and focus on the clitoral hood, which is just above the clitoris, since most women prefer indirect clitoral contact before they're fully aroused. Make your licks wide from time to time

to cover the whole genital area and make them small at other times, centering on the clitoris itself. So you gotta mix it up, go back and forth, go back and forth. You know what I mean? Like try it all over the clitoris then you try it later on the clitoris. So that's what you gotta do.

You gotta try all different things. Now here's a move that you can do at the sink, you could, okay. So I talked to this guy on the street, Madam Street interviews, he was saying that he learned how to perform oral sex by a DVD that he got at the Sinclair Institute. Sinclair Institute is awesome.

Check it out on my website, Sinclair Institute, and you get a discount and you can get educational DVDs that are sexy, smart, and hot. Plus, you can learn things like how to perform better all sex. Because here it is. As she becomes more roused, you can gently suck her clitoris into your mouth and flick your tongue over it. This could bind suction with a much, much faster rhythm and women like that. So suck it in your mouth, try it, see if she likes it. Remember, listen for her reaction, listen carefully to what she says

and the sounds that she makes. If she sounds excited, keep doing what you're doing. For as long as you can, when she seems to respond less, might be time for a new stroke. Okay, the next thing matters. This is kind of an infamous infamous move is the home. It's like a vibrator. Close your mouth and hum. Again, so clitoris every once in a while. See how she reacts. Would you ever try the hum? I have never tried the hum. I just didn't, I didn't think it was real.

I thought that was urban legend. No, the hum is like a little bitty vibrator. You could totally do it. A hum is good. Okay, consider using your fingers. Pantrating her with one finger at making a come here motion is a great way to locate her G spot. In fact, a lot of women can't reach

won't reach the G spot through your penis it'll be through your hands. So use your hands. Then make eye contact with your lover when you can eye contact is a beautiful thing. This is a huge turn on for both men and women. And then okay, when she's about to have an orgasm, no one to continue. Make sure you do everything she wants you to. No matter if you have a kink in your neck, or your arms falling asleep, keep doing exactly what you're doing until she's had an orgasm.

Might as no falling asleep, okay? Nothing like that. I'm not, no, I'm listening, I'm listening. Okay. I'm taking it in. No, I'm saying don't fall asleep when you're having sex, you gotta keep going. Okay, the clitoris is extremely sensitive after climax,

so no one to stop, you don't wanna keep licking it intensely. Okay, the next reason why you might be bad and bad is you only have Jack rabbit sex. If you're constantly wanting to have fast paced rigorous sex then you might not be living up to your full potential in the bedroom. It might be trying to try slow sex with her on top. For women the best sex in positions are often the ones in the same way that clitoris such as women on top. So try out these positions regularly, two experience, new possibilities with

sex. So women as hot men, as you say, some women just don't want to get on top, right? They don't, and they're just, I think it's just a self-conscious thing, and women, you gotta understand, guys don't care if they have you in the bedroom, they're not worried about anything

that has to do with your body. So don't be self conscious. They don't care that your left boobs bigger than your right boob or whatever it is. They don't think that you're fat. I mean, really, it's a beautiful thing to have a woman riding around on top of you. And so a lot of women are afraid of it

and they should not be. So, and then for guys, if you're only having Jack gravity sex, that's a jackass move. I'm just gonna get it. Unless you got crabs, dungeons, or unless you got crabs, dude, check this out. Sorry to interrupt, but before I forget, it was a new story today that crabs,

the ones that are around the vagina the the the vagina and uh... here and uh... males penises and stuff and balls uh... are endangered now due to bikini waxing oh no way they're gone like they're gonna die they're endangered that's good

yeah because people are not they serve some other purpose in the biosphere? I don't think so. I don't think so. Wow, that's interesting. So the bikini wax gets rid of them. Yeah, the bikini wax has been killing them off. Well, that's good. That's an uncomfortable thing to have.

I never got crabs. Maybe it's the bikini waxing. I got to keep it wax people. That's fascinating. That would be a good sex in the news story. Yes. Okay. So next reason why you might be bad about is that is when you don't recognize the clitoris. I don't care how large your penis is, how long you last, the most important thing is paying attention to the clitoris. If you don't accomplish this by having sex in certain positions that robber clitoris during or she can robber on clitoris, even better, get a vibrator and bang it into the

bedroom. Men who do not fear vibrators are sexy creatures because they are dedicated to pleasing woman and are in a for intimidated by tools. So go to my website, click on Good Vibrations, and you can see my store, and I pick out all my favorite toys, and there's some great beginning vibrators, like a couple of vibrators, like the Wee Vib.

You can use it together. It's like you're both using it, you're both feeling it. Lots of men like the feeling of the vibrations. It's awesome. Check out the Wee Vib. You can also use a screaming, it's awesome. Check out the Wevibe. You can also use a Screaming O vibrating ring, Screaming O Cochrins, turn your partner into a human vibrator. I've got a whole bunch of him here for you, Menace.

So now listen, just because, so yeah, no, but Screaming O makes the coolest products. So go to ScreamingO.com and click on it from my website because I've got a store of my favorite Screaming O products. Okay, here's for the women. There are some oral sex tips on men because I'm not just saying that men have challenges in the bedroom. Some women do too. So use your tongue. Use your tongue around the tip.

Every time you come up, swirl your tongue around the tip a couple times. Menace approve. Approve. Don't use your teeth. Avoid contact with the penis with your teeth by wrapping your lips around your top of your mouth. Okay, eye contact will turn them on. Do you want her looking at you when she's sucking on your penis? Uh, I mean, some guys are into that. I don't really care. It's all your sucking on the penis.

Right, you're fine. Okay. Uh, I just gotta check with Matt. It's not that he's, I don't know. I love you. Lend a helping hand. Using your hands can be helpful. It gives you momentum and allows you to focus on the tip.

I think a lot of guys like the mouth hand combo. Yeah? Mm. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But sometimes now. Sometimes now. Okay. Again, listen for verbal, his verbal cues asking for what he wants.

And here's another issue. A lot of women don't perform all sex. They do it on the guy's birthday. They do it on their partners, you know, anniversary or they just don't like it. They don't like, they make some gag. They don't like the taste of semen. A lot of women are like allergic to it. They don't like the taste of semen, a lot of women are like allergic to it, they don't like it.

But I wanna say that there is now mask sexual flavors, go to your mask, M-A-S-Q-U-E, and there's strips that if you don't like the taste of flavor, like those list of green strips that you put on your tongue, and they come in four different flavors, literally, like take the chocolate one, and the next time you form all of the sacks, it'll'll taste like a milkshake you'll be sucking that thing like crazy and

you'll do an awesome job because it tastes like chocolate it's they're really cool and they're like kind of minty-ish too they're awesome we've tried them menace I mean that when you're performing all sacks but you've tried them yeah no they're like they're just like those uh... listerine strips exactly exactly. Exactly. Exactly the same, but more delicious, because they come in strawberry and mango and all that stuff. Okay, so finally, tips for both men and women to be better in bed. The most important thing. Number one, hands down. Nothing else is more important.

Not the size of your penis. Not the size of your breasts. Not any of the moves that I just talked about. And that is confidence. This could mean trying something more adventurous and bed, taking charge in the bedroom, being more aggressive, being more proactive about pleasureing your partner, and communicating what you like and don't like. Remember to ask your partner for what they want. 2013 is all about asking for what you want in the bedroom.

I'm sorry, but if you, you know, the world could add, the world almost ended, didn't it almost end twice this year? Whatever, it almost ended. And if you were not have, if you, if you are listening to this and you're like, you know what, I have not had the best sex in my life yet. I could have better sex.

Try some of these moves, pick out my book. I have a book called Hot Sex over 200 things you Can Try Tonight. It's a beautiful illustrated book. Open it up and just pick one of those things. Buy my iPhone app, sex drive. Just do one thing different a week, a month, to spice up your relationship. Right? Menace? They got to do their... Yeah. And they got to do their Kaggle exercises. I've got an iPhone kegel camp This is just where I tell you about all my great products. You will love it It's five minutes five minutes a day for men and women and it will you'll have better sacks women

I'll have stronger orgasms men will last longer in bed the whole Shabang Yeah, and the sex drive the sex drive app is totally, it's well designed. It's really well done. And it's for couples. And I'm very, you know me, I'm very hard on apps. I know.

And this one's done very well. You're, thank you. So check out Emily's sex drive. That would be awesome. And yeah, anything else meant us that you'd like to add to this. I'm sorry, this shows a little shorter, but I think it's just as good because you got all this important information about what you were, and we're not doing to the Clilaris and women learn stuff about oral sex. So I think it's awesome. And we have more new shows coming to you every week. Yeah, the new shows will,

the new shows will be longer guaranteed. We apologize, just technical difficulties. And if you want more content, more stuff to listen to, or more stuff to check out, go to sextoemlee.com. It's updated every single day. So there's always something new. It's your sex newspaper. That's what I like to say.

Every single day we've got new stuff on the website. And also, I'm here in the Stitcher Studio in San Francisco, California. And Stitcher is a totally free app that you can listen to this show on, on your smartphone, your tablet, or your desktop. And all you do is download Stitcher Search Sex, or you can search Sex Family, whatever you wanna do.

And automatically start streaming the audio from your device, and you don't have to download any files or anything like that. I know it's so easy. I listen to Stitcher all the time. And do you know like I mean, not just that we're equal opportunity here. If you like other podcasts, any podcasts that you want, you can listen to on Stitcher. And you don't have to download it. You just stream it. Yeah, you can make your own radio station. Everything is on demand. It's so cool. I love Stitcher.

So do that. Listen to our show. Let us know what topics you want to hear about in the new year. We want to hear from you. I'm very active on my Facebook page, sex with Emily, Twitter, sex with Emily, Instagram, sex with Emily. That's how you find me.

Sex with Emily. Menace is menace. He is a very prolific Instagrammer and Twitter. Yes. And you can find him there. I want you to tweet from the gym, menace, because I don't quite believe that you're going to work out. Do you want photos?

Yeah, I want one photo. I mean, I posted a photo of the gym that I'm working out at, but I'm not ready to post photos of myself. I want to see you all sweaty and stuff. Yeah, it's in their headquarters. The headquarters, so it's not an actual gym. It's an office for this training, T.R. X training. Oh, man, it's so good.

And this is another big thing. People, if they are not healthy, that it, it, it, it, we'd you start working out, you start wanting more socks. It's just like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know totally. You're going to be healthy.

Menace, you're going to be a fucking sex machine in, in like a month. And you better report back to me. So I will. That's what we got for you today. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at what we got for you today. Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. This episode is brought to you by one of our amazing sponsors,

Mass Sexual Flavor Stops. They enhance your sexual experiences with a taste of strawberry, mango, watermelon or chocolate. It's kind of like a strawberry, mango, watermelon, or chocolate. It's kind of like a mystery and strip, but for sex. So if you like sex and you want to make it even more enjoyable and you like hearing sex is only for free, check out Mass at sexualflavors.com. Enjoy the show. I promise your sex life will improve.

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