Sex With Emily - SWE: Your Sex Questions Answered

Episode Date: August 22, 2013

I get tons of sex questions in my inbox everyday. Trust me, everyone has their sex issues, from orgasming too soon to not orgasming at all. And let's be honest, you don't want to ask all your Facebook friends how you can go about losing your virginity (unless you get some takers). That's why I'm here to answer your biggest, most embarrassing, sex questions on my podcast. Sex Questions Answered Does penis size really matter? Is a big penis too much of a good thing? How do I brave his gargantuan penis? How do I prevent premature ejaculation, without having to picture the most disgusting thing possible? Why can't I get an erection? I'm pretty sure my sex drive is higher than everyone else's sex drive, what should I do? I don't want to have sex. What's wrong with me? I have a strange fetish, do I embrace it or try to hide it? (Well, it really depends on the fetish.) What do I do if I queef? (Hint: Do not run away screaming or hide under a rock). If you want to change your love life check out: Promescent, Crazy Girl, Max4Men, Masque, and Good Vibrations. Use coupon code Emily25 at checkout for 25% off your purchase at Crazy Girl and Max4Men. Use coupon code GVEmily20 at checkout for 20% off purchases of $100 or more at Good Vibrations. Or use coupon code Emily for 15% off anything at Good Vibrations. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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That makes the shave cream only $13. Do you know how expensive a wax is? That's coupon code Emily25 for 25% off anything at crazygo-products.com. Or you can visit sexwithemily.com and get all the info you need there. Thanks for listening, enjoy the show. Hi everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I no longer have the Friends with Benefits program. My podcast is completely free so that you can always enjoy Sex with Emily.

Thanks for listening. You just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good.

You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts or you can go to iTunes and subscribe. We've got hundreds of podcasts you can listen to. And they're all great because they're evergreen topics about everything you want to wear sex.

And I hear from you every day that your sex life improves by listening to the show and I appreciate that. So you can always email me feedback at sexwithmly.com. Today's show. Okay, we're talking about the most embarrassing sex questions that you might have and that I get asked. So one of the, this occurred to me the other night. One of the most common questions I get asked by my profession when people find out what I do for a living, they say, okay, what's the craziest question you've ever gotten asked and what's the weirdest thing you ever heard?

What totally blew you away? And I have to say, I've been doing it for eight years so I don't really, nothing really shocks me anymore, but I thought, you know, there is a series of questions that I could ask a lot that could be seen as embarrassing and that I thought, you know what, I'm just gonna dress this during a show once and for all because there's really no words for people to go for this kind of information. Sure, you can google it and see what people say like on Yahoo or something, but really I have all the answers.

So, um, we're going to give them to you. We're also going to be reading the emails you sent to feedback at sexwithemily.com. And I am here with Menace. What's up Menace? What's going on Emily? How you doing? I'm doing fabulous. How are you doing? I'm doing great. Can I tell you something that's going on with me this Saturday in San Jose, California? Okay, you love San Jose. What's going on? So is that part of a like a radio promotion or anything like that? I'm not getting paid to do this, but you might think this fun and you And you might want to do it yourself. You might want to fly from Los Angeles here to the Bay Area. I would love to. My friend is part of a gym and they're doing a women's

defense course and I get to be the aggressor. So, someone will be beating me up this Saturday. So they're going to be tossing you on your ass. That's amazing. Yeah, I just volunteered. Are you just that's so cool. I just thought it'd be funny. I mean to you know get my ass kicked by women. That is so funny. Yeah, I think that's that's gonna be amazing because women do I've never taken one of those courses but you might get hurt. What if there's some brews in there? Yeah, you know, whatever. I'm down for the cause. That's a really fun thing that you should do. whatever I'm down for the cause. That's a really fun thing that you should do. I'm happy that you're doing that, Menace. I am this weekend, let's see what I'm doing.

I've got Love Line on Thursday night, which I love. If anyone checks has Love Line in the city that you live in, check out the local listings, it's lovelineshow.com, I believe. You can also watch and listen live. And it was so funny last week Menace because I love line everyone everyone knows love line with Dr. Drew

It's been around for 30 years. So we had this big topic menace was someone called in and they were like we were talking about Sexting oh, oh, you know who was on the show Anthony Wiener's Sydney that woman Sydney letters so she was on and she was talking all about the sexting and what went on with them and the pictures she sent and how she really thought she was in love. Everyone knows Anthony Wiener's running for mayor of of New York and he's already had allegations before and he has stepped down from office two years ago for sending his penis through Twitter. Pictures of his penis. So I went off on this whole thing. I'm like I don't think that anybody should ever send naked pictures because you know I

think it's wrong. I think it's a mistake. Always going to come back and haunt you. And what I want to tell the women sending pictures is that I freaking see them. Your guy friends, that you're dating, my guy friends, your boyfriends, they show me those pictures. And they show your friends. And when they break up, they're going to post it somewhere. we had so many calls from collars and love line who are like

oh my god my boyfriend from high school took a picture of me and posted it on Facebook so people just be careful I mean I know sexting is all the rage don't put your face in it and if you can avoid it just why can't they just enjoy your body when you're together why does everyone need to send naked pictures what do you think but but you can send me naked pictures because you can trust me I'll never right because I'll never do that to somebody never say never but menace does have a Bevy of sex tapes that I don't think he's ever showed anybody but himself Yeah, I don't I don't share I can't believe I've never done that and of course everyone assumes

Oh your sex with Emily you've taken lots of sexing photos or whatever and I've never taken a nude photo never sat one never done it And I wonder if guys I'd date are like cool Well at least she's gonna send me naked pictures because they assume sex with Emily's like swinging from the rafters naked But I haven't done it because I believe I don't want anything to come back and haunt me When I get naked in front of a camera. I want to choose to release it to the world. Yes. Like if things get bad, you know. But then last night my friend was dating this guy and she's so turned on by him, she's like, oh my god, he just set me a five minute video of him masturbating from beginning to end. Yes, just his penis, which apparently she's obsessed with, and it was just him and masturbating so going up and down with his hand on his penis

and then when he squirted, the splooge went all over the phone like all over the kid lens and she was really turned on by it. I don't know. There's something for everyone so, you know. Now wait a minute, she let you wash this? No, she didn't. I don't want to see it. Yeah, right. No, she told me about it on the phone that she's like if you told me a year ago But see it's all about who you date I guess I'm where you're into she's like if you told me a year ago that I'd be into some guy

You know masturbating on the phone sending me this video. I'd be grossed out, but she was really into it So there's something of everyone all I care about is your safety people if you I mean people think they're gonna get famous They're gonna do a sex tape. that's all ridiculous like just you know you want to get a job some day being you know you want to work in government or something and then this sex tape or this sex picture shows up you're in deep trouble so I'm just warning the world I'm gonna start a campaign yeah all these women that get some type of fame now they're all doing porno's exactly it's a slippery slope it's a slippery slope Sydney Leather't any different. She's doing some sexy things

And I'm sure she'll be doing a porno soon and because they need money and I get it's a fast road to money Oh, she did a part. That's right. She shot it. That's true Yeah, I think that's why she was in her life. She's really lovely though. She's very smart articulate all that soft So I mean I like her. She's gonna come on the sex with Emily show too oh my god what would you want that no she's just a fame war but she's really smart and articulate it's it while yeah I heard her on the Howard Stern show she was yeah I mean she was funny and stuff like that but it's just like I know you're keeping though you're keeping those type of people in business.

This is what you're doing by having them on your show. But, I mean, if you're down with that, then you know, whatever, I'm just upset that you didn't do it first. What, do a sex tape first? Yeah, or, you know, release a sex tape and you would have millions of dollars like a few hundred. See, I'm kind of pissed too

I feel like when I started sex with Emily all my advice for my really smart friends were like you know You should do you should like my guy friends were like you should really just put a naked picture of yourself on the sex with Emily website Which I never did like my friend who's literally a billionaire and one of the most successful entrepreneurs in San Francisco if not the world was like I have like a serious like I sat down we had lunch I might listen to like we've been best friends for a long time. What do you suggest? He's like I just think you should don some lingerie and post it on your website. I'm like oh my god that's not what I'm about. I'm about sex education smart funny but so far so good menace we haven't had to sell out yet with nudity unless you've done a naked unless you're

gonna do it for us. I don't think that's going to happen anytime soon. Okay, good to know. It's not going to happen anytime soon. But I wanted to say also that everyone can check out the show, as you know, on podcasts, we're going to be doing like two shows a week, which is awesome. And I also went back to T-Radio V and did a video show last week, so you can check that out in San Francisco.

I remember what we used to do. It's a video podcast. So, and I was also, it was fun. It was fun. It's on the website. It was with Tony from my new product line that's coming out in two weeks called Emily and Tony. And it is going to rock your world.

Go to Emily and Tony.com. We're going to be doing tons of giveaways. It's a lubricant, it's a massage candle and it's a ball lotion for men. It's a ball cream that turns to powder that will make you not sweat and smell delicious. And that's all I'm going to tell you, but it's going to change your world. So that's really exciting. So we talked about that. And then I was on Playboy TV. Oh my god, menace. I have to tell you this. So I was on Playboy TV this weekend this past weekend on a show called swing Apparently, it's the number one show on Playboy TV and as you can guess it's a house of swingers, right and every week It's a reality show and every week they bring in a newbie couple, right? Who's already like sort of swinging but might want to try something new or

So this couple was a newbie couple and they wanted to do a full swap, meaning he swaps with the wife and she swaps the husband or whatever, right? So they go in as a mansion, we just like the batch like they walk in, all the couples are there. And let me tell you something, menace.

So anyway, so they go through this whole process and the show was actually like interesting, they ended up doing the full swap, they're really happy. They're all swingers. They all love each other But the interesting thing menace menace and I have had it had this ongoing debate for I don't know as long as we've been doing the show eight or nine years Menace thinks that every swinger has a ponytail Yeah, not one ponytail to be seen and there was like 20 squares, but they've at least had Like dark leathery skin right like no no attractive very very not very well dressed like something's a little bit off

No, they were all hot check out the show check out the show minus. I'm telling you you were wrong Maybe that's just SF wingers then and I did. And I didn't want you to be wrong. And I actually got some, I got a few invitations, as you know, maybe to join, but I don't think I'm going to do that this year. And it's very surprising. I know, it's surprising. So I also want to talk about this new, OK,

so you know I moved into my new place again, which you have to see. I'm loving it. But I have, I'm sort of overwhelmed. Okay, so I mentioned during last week's podcast that I have all these sex toys that I want to give way to listeners, and I literally, I don't think I've received as many emails about giving away my sex toys as I did during the hand job debate. Minus and I used to have a hand job debate about I was trying to bring back the hand job debate. Menace and I used to have a hand job debate about, I was trying to bring back the hand job, I thought they were interesting and men would like them

and menace thought blow jobs were better. I got all caught out of control. If you've been listening to this show for a while, you know what I mean. But like I heard from like 50 listeners who were like, I want your toys, I want your toys. So I'm trying to figure out a way because I don't have the money to like ship them

to everybody, but I'm trying to think if like maybe one of the sponsors or whatever, because I have so many. So last night I was in my garage for four hours, organizing my sex toys to see what I had. And I have everything, okay? Every single thing, I've got condoms, I've got loobs, I've got cockings, I've got vibrators, it's crazy, right? And I haven't even tested them all out.

So I will be sending toys to everyone, but the one thing that I wanna say is that I, so last night I had to try out something new and I've always talked about the J.J. Mimi. It's J.E. J.O.U.E. and it's a Mimi M.I.M.I because I think it's a great partner toy because you can use it during sex. For intercourse you can women can hold it on their clitoris and it's really powerful. It looks like a big stone like a pebble but it's like a big it fits in the palm of your hand and it doesn't even look like a vibrator and I love how it charges. I love all the J.J. products. So it turns out they sent me the Fifi,

which is their version of the rabbit and it is friggin epic. You know the rabbit has something for your clitoris and it's internal and it's like beautiful. Their vibrators are all made like so well and their waterproof and they're amazing. So my new recommendation this week is the FeFe. Fi, Fi, it's a great gift for someone. It gives full internal stimulation, while thumping, it's big, floppy ears, and you're clitoris. It's rechargeable, and you can use it over and over again,

and it's super powerful. So if you want one, go to Good Vibrations, use coupon code GVMLE20 for 20% of orders of $100 or more at good vibrations. Because we love, and you can buy anything at goodvibes.com. We love all their stuff. Yeah, we do. Yeah, we do.

Okay, so I thought that we could talk about some embarrassing sex questions. And so, because these are really the main questions that people get asked. And men, what these are really the main questions that people get asked. And Menace, what do you think is one of the embarrassing questions? Is, I mean, it's always, is by penis, uh, two, three, four, four, five, six, seven, eight.

Dinging, dinging, dinging. Do I last long enough? Yeah, exactly. Oh, that kind of stuff. Okay, so let's go to the first one. Does penis size really matter? Now men as a man, you've probably spent some time in your... Oh, maybe not.

I've never seen your penis, but have you worried about your penis size? Or do you know men who have? Do I... I don't think men discuss their... I mean, they joke around about their penis size saying oh they're always huge and stuff like that but I don't think they actually really have a sincere discussion about it. Right. I believe that men get ruined in the locker room like they see the guy next to them, someone teases them when

they're like 12 and they never get over it or they're just worried about their penis size. But it's not about the size. It's about pleasing your partner in multiple ways and just figure out what turns her on. So when women complain about a man's size, if they ever do, I don't think, and I do know, it's actually not about the size. It's the fact that she wasn't having an orgasm. She wasn't turned on.

He just stuck it in, he wasn't pleasing her, and a lot of women can't even orgasm with your penis alone no matter how big it is Even if your penis is as big as King Kong, they're not gonna have an orgasm So the average penis size is 5.5 between 5.5 inches and 6.5 inches or racked and So a lot of women like I said do find it difficult to orgasm just with a penis alone I think only 30% of women without extra-clitoral stimulation, most women need clitoral. So don't trip on your penis size. So a guy with a big penis can't even rely on that.

So sometimes, if a guy is a really big penis, you know, like last time I checked, the clitoris, not inside the vagina. So it has to do with the clitoris. So for those who are truly, truly tiny, if you're tiny penis man, pressing inside instead, pressing instead of thrusting in the missionary position. She don't thrust and that you press, you like are pressing more in and in. You can also have the woman on top that way you can go deeper. You can place her legs on your shoulders during missionary. You can also try having her on a fours and a great trip.

When she is on top, put a pillow under your butt to raise up your pelvis. So this is a little optical illusion thing you can do or whatever. If you feel like you're not quite long enough or whatever, you put a pillow under your butt and it'll just make your pelvis raise up and she'll feel it. So really, it's not about the size of the shape, it's about the motion of the ocean, it's how you learn to use your penis and how you learn to please her. So don't trip on the penis thing. And I'm going to read an email.

That is it. Today we've mixed the emails into our topic. So something a little different. Emily, I'm 22. I recently started seeing a guy who has a huge, beautiful penis, but I've never experienced this kind before. This should never be a problem, right? Wrong.

I'm barely 5'2", and a petite woman. And sex with him is so painful. I've managed to get through it multiple times, but after I'm so sore, does the pain ever go away? If not, can you suggest anything to make it less painful? Thanks. Signed too much of a good thing. So, okay everyone, see all you guys are worried about your penis right now. There's some penises that are actually too big. This is not the first time I've gotten an email or a question from you like this. So, the thing thing I got to say to you too much over good thing is you don't want to just go through the motions

You really want to enjoy it. So you got to communicate to Kim if you haven't already that it hurts a Lot of women are Reluctant or reluctant to tell their partner something is wrong because they think they should be able to do with all the problems on their own And they don't want to come across as like whiny or hurty or whatever, but and they want to show the man that they're enjoying themselves. But if you don't tell them what's going on, your sexual experience won't improve. So I would say, you know spend a lot of time on foreplay before having sex. So make sure that you're really turned on, use lots of lubricant. You can use the Emily and Toady lubricant when it comes out.

And if it feels good, it will prepare you to loosen up and open and brave his beast deep penis. But when it comes down to actually having sex, here's the deal. You can pick positions that incorporate more shallow thrusting. So shallow thrusting is actually great for you because it won't hit your cervix with his penis and it'll hopefully be less painful. And something that you all should know is the outer third of a woman's vagina is the most sensitive. The G-spot actually is only two inches inside the vagina. So men find they also enjoy the shell thrusting because it stimulates the head of the penis, which is the most sensitive part.

So, men, if you've heard about this, you probably don't have women complaining to you about two big of penises, right? Yeah. But, I have heard this before, so I just want an answer. So, if you want to go for the missionary position, do not put a pillow under your butt or your legs over your shoulders, because this is the opposite of when you have a smaller penis, because the more your pelvis tilts, the deeper he penetrates, which makes sense. So go for positions where you can keep your legs closer together.

Not only this will stop him from going too deeply, but you can explore some amazing positions. We've talked about the cat position a lot. We just did a blog post on it. Go to my website, Google cat, C-A-T. That'll come up. But I would say a lot of women experience pain. There was a study that just came out by the University of Indiana. I think it's Indiana University that said like the major, it was a really high majority of women experience some sort of pain during sex, and they never talk about it. They never explore it. So, you know, you got to talk to your partner about it. And yes, it will go away, and you guys will figure out a way to have amazing sex even with his big penis. So big penis, small penis, we can all have great sex. Right, Matt, anything you'd like to add to the penis?

I mean, there's really nothing you can do about it. So, you know, you got to deal with the cars that you have begin giving. Exactly. Don't trip on whatever it is. Don't dwell on it. Right. Everyone dwells. Everyone dwells, don't dwell. Okay, how do I, next, we're talking about most embarrassing questions, how do I prevent premature ejaculation? So premature ejaculation is probably one of the most

common sexual issues that people have, like erectile dysfunction, which is what a lot of people take by Agro4. A lot of times they have PE, okay? So PE, we know what that is when you have an orgasm before you'd like to, you lose control. Sometimes it's in a minute, we call it the Minute Man. Menace says this ever happened to you? I'm sure it has. Yeah. Um, it's all about the pre-gaming. It's all about the men. It has a theory that you should pre-game. The use of master, master, master maybe before you're gonna have sex with someone you can master it, but a lot of guys this doesn't help. So even women though, even women should pre-game. If they orgasm, really. Yeah. Tie it up ladies. Yeah. So, why'd you say tie it up? Tie it up ladies. Well, yeah I just say tied it up. And tie it up ladies. Well, yeah, that's

true, I guess, but the thing about women is sometimes it's more challenging to orgasm. So we like to build up the fork, like the tension in our thinking about what's going to happen because women are very like our brain is the largest sex organ. So if I know I'm going to have had sex tonight with a guy, I'm going to think about it all day. So I'll be really turned on ready to go, but I don't think I'd want to masturbate beforehand. But with men, this could help. So PE, early in a relationship, sometimes it's caused by anxiety and certain stimulation. So a lot of times he states in your mind and it's anxiety, but I don't want to say that

because it could be also something physical. But for the women, when a man premature ejaculates, I would just say take it as a compliment. Rather than being unsatisfied, just think the man's crazy about you. So crazy you can't hold it in. So, I mean, that's what I always think. Like, if a man is premature ejaculated with me, once or twice, I'm like, okay, that's cool. That happens as long as he pleases me. He can perform oral sex. I can't even have my vibrator. He can use his fingers. It's fine. Women know that this happens, okay? And now, if it happens repeatedly, like I dated someone for a while years ago that actually really like had this problem, like every time we had

sex, he would come within a minute. And we went out for like two years, okay? So we read the book The Multi-Orgasmic Man, which is a really good book to read about this. There's some other books I can recommend. But even though there are no definite like cures for this disorder, like you can try relaxing when you find yourself getting overstimulated. So you can start like breathing and relaxing. There's the whole stop start method that they talk about in the book, in the or multi-argastic man book and there's just some exercises they give you. You can also get into the sex visions that you're less likely to orgasm in like women on top and also thinking about non-sexual activities will help PE occur less. But the problem with this is that's like thinking about your third grade teacher with the hairy mole

So I mean I would say talk to your partner about it. Don't be embarrassed if it's something that you Can't control like through exercise like through doing like certain exercises with your penis and if it's happening for a long time I would talk to your doctor but there also is a new Product on the market that is sort of blowing me away and the only reason I'm talking about it because I don't need to say like here's the cure or take this pill. This actually isn't a pill. You don't need a prescription. However, every single sex doctor that I respect in the world and there's only a few of them, not that I respect, but there aren't even that many of us, okay? But there's a few that are the most well known. They've all endorsed this product. And so if you don't want to have to think about baseball or whatever, it's called ProMessent, it's PROMCNT, and it's the world's first and only FDA approved treatment for PE. And so basically, yeah, it's the only one.

And you can get it on their website or click on the banner on our site. One in three men suffer from premature ejaculation. So previously menists, the only treatments for this very real and very unspoken about disorder were antidepressants. They tell dudes they go to their doctor, their like will take, you know, antidepressant. And the problem is there's so many side effects of antidepressants. You know we've talked about this before. Like maybe you can't orgasm, but there's all these other side effects. You might not even be able to get hard, you might have dry mouth, night sweats, you might not even want, I mean it could be so many things you don't want to take a pill.

So there's also numbing sprays, both of which come with awful side effects. The thing about promescent is there's never been any complaints or return orders. They have zero side effects. It works in 10 minutes. It's a desensitizing spray that's quickly absorbed onto the penis so it will not transfer to your partner. So if you spray at meaness, meaness, meaness, meaness, meaness, meaness, and we add sex, I wouldn't get, I wouldn't be desensitized. Your penis just stays harder longer. So you, you, you feel like a rock star because you're staying harder longer. It desensitizes it but it doesn't mean that you can't feel it. It helps you stay harder longer. There are no side effects.

FDA-approved, go order a bottle online, see if you like it. All I know is that like people everyone reorders it and they've had no complaints. I'm I talk of the C. Yeah, I know it's crazy because I'm like I don't know what type of guys I'm like, read the multi-argastic man, do exercises, but after living with it, like literally with this guy for two years, I'm not saying there aren't things to do about it, but it's almost like you might not be able to cure it.

It might be your lifelong curse. I don't know. I mean, not even that it's a curse. Maybe some women are cool with that. They want to get it over in a minute. But if it's a problem for you, check out promescent. So that's what I got to say for that embarrassing question. Okay, next embarrassing question, why am I unable to get an erection?

What? What? Some people can't get erections. Problems with erections may stem from medications, chronic illnesses, poor blood flow to the penis, drinking too much alcohol, menace, or being too tired. No, it increases my erection. I know menace, you're lucky, you have all the great side effects. But for a lot of people, I would say if you can not get an erection,

you're a young guy, or even your 30s or 40s, go see your doctor, so many men are really hesitant about going to their doctor for any penis or sex-related issues. And I don't know what it is. Like, I talked to my doctor about everything. Maybe it's because it's a gynecologist. But men are just like, I'm going to check out, but I'm not going to tell them about my penis stuff. Because you're never, men never want to talk about their issues around their penis. So I would say get checked out. I mean, but again, it could be a medication you're taking. It could be blood flow, whatever it is, drinking too much, too tired to stress, talk to your doctor.

I've got nothing else better to say about that. Okay, the next one. I have a strange fetish. These are the most embarrassing questions. I have a strange fetish. Do I embrace it or try to hide it? What do you think, Menace? Um, hide it.

Not necessarily. Some people have fetishes and they can't have sex with the other than the palms if you have like a foot fetish you like need a foot to be present to have an orgasm. So having a fetish keeps your sex life with your partner it can keep it very stimulated. Some fetishes might be too far left talking and discussing your fetish with your partner could add a boost to your sex life and it also might give you insight into what turns her on. So you can say you know what I love when you show your feet you've such beautifully pedicured

feet what turned you on babe and she might tell you I've always wanted you to blindfold me and then there you go. So it's a good way to have a discussion about sex during your fantasies even if it seems too taboo for the person such as a woman having a right fantasy, there are some fantasies that, you know, a woman might really want to try with you and you can kind of switch. So fetishes are what make most people orgasm. So if you try, try your fetish, try your fetish, but I would first talk to your partner about it first, because the problem is if you don't take care of your fetish, if you don't find someone who's going to satisfy your fetish and therefore allow you to orgasm with your fetish present, you're probably going to have an unsatisfied sex life. So here's an email that

illustrates that. Dear Emily, I get sex once a month from my wife and I masturbate every other day if not every day. I also should worry about being judged by God. I watch porn such as facials, man and women, etc. and all the women's squirting. I have a fetish of women peeing themselves. It just turns me on. So I'm worried. Am I cheating on my wife in my heart for doing all that? At least I'm not cheating on her, right? cheating on my wife in my heart for doing all that, at least I'm not cheating on her, right? Signed not cheating. Okay, so he is, I don't think that you're cheating if you're watching porn of women peeing on themselves. God knows they've got porn of every single scenario you could think of in your life. Like a woman with double-debress riding a bike while being penetrated with a dildo

or whatever it is. There's like so much porn out there. So I don't think you're cheating on her. I think it's a healthy outlet. I would be concerned if you were taking it to another level and like seeing a prostitute or paying someone that you could watch them pee on themselves. That's when it's a problem. I'm wondering do you communicate with your wife at all about any sexual stuff? Because you know, no, I mean you guys are together, she loves you, she might be like, okay, let's take a shower. People who have these peeing fetishes, what if you took a shower and she peed on herself? How would that feel? She could wash it off, she'd be turning you on, she loves you.

That might be a great entree into discussing your fetish. What do you think, Menace? I don't know, it's weird. I knew people back in high school that were into this. You did? Yeah, I didn't get it then and I don't get it now. Well, it's just, it's just what gets wired in people's brains. It could have been something he saw when he was younger. Yep. Yeah, but what, I mean, I mean, how does that even happen? I mean, I think it could be

like images that they see in porn and it really turns them on. Maybe they'd be like, like, they peed in their pants and third grade and it somehow got fetishized. Usually comes from early childhood trauma that is around sex or childhood, something that's impactful that happens to you during formative years sexually, like if you're obsessed with redheads, maybe you had a crush on your kindergarten teacher and she was a redhead and you've a fetish about redheads, you know what I mean? It goes back to childhood. So that's how it happens. And you don't have one so you don't have to worry about it. Although I always thought it'd be kind of cool to have a fetish because then I know I'd always orgasm,

I know exactly what my sex was about and I don't know. I just think it's not such a bad thing and you can find someone who'd be down with it. But I don't have a fetish alas, not yet. But you'll be the first to know. Okay, most of yours- You have no fetish with though. What? Would you say? Remember we brought this fetish like a year ago where I asked you if the man of your dreams, one day, ago where I asked you of the man of your dreams one day, I don't know if this is sweeps you off your feet and your head over heels, which has never happened in your entire lifetime, but somehow, some way it happens, there was just one little thing that he was interested

in, and it was, you know, he's the perfect guy in every single way, but in the bedroom, he just requests maybe once in a while that you dress up as the hamburger from McDonald's to get him off, like something happened in his childhood where he finds that very sexual way to dress up as the hamburger. And you said, no, because you made it about yourself. And you said, well well I wouldn't feel sexy in that it's not about you feeling sexy. Okay okay let me okay I think you re-thought your your answer about. I guess I have because we've talked about over the years I mean okay if I'm in

am I in love with the sky or is it our third date? Yes head over heels in love. I'm head over heels. I know you don't know what that feeling is like. I've been head over heels in love. I'm head over heels. I know you don't know what that feeling is like. I've been head over heels in love. Just imagine you found like the most the strongest drug on the planet and then that's that's what it feels like. Okay, are you head over heels in love right now? My head over heels. I'm in love. Yeah, am I head over heels in love? I think that kind of happens when you first meet somebody. Oh no, it's just to continue and get deeper. It's just to get deeper, deeper, deeper. Okay, so the hamburger, if it wasn't too hot of a suit, I guess, okay, I'm thinking to me all in that fur, the hamburger with a mask.

I mean, honestly, if I love my guy and I'm head over heels and love with him and he's like, you know what babe? This is really gonna turn me on but there's like, I guess I would I might do it. It depends on the guy and if I'm head over heels and love I would do anything for him. So I've changed my mind. How's that menace? I've come around see people can change people can change But I'm not psyched about it. I might say can we make a sexy? Like can we make it into like a little skirt or something? I might try to sex it up a little. It's a hamburger. It's not about you, it's not about you. I know, but how am I gonna get into it? I'm gonna do something for.

I'm not gonna be like gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble gobble or whatever weird noise is the hamburger that makes, like oh go go go go go go go. Doesn't he like just like mumble or garble? Yeah. Yeah, I don't know if I'm gonna do the sound effects, but I I mean, you know if you love someone This is like this is a good lesson. It doesn't have to be a crazy hamburger or fetish But if you really love your partner rather than freaking out because they're serving porn all the time and masturbating without you

Rather than they have some weird fetish or they check out other women Talk to your partner about this stuff Communicate about your sex life. It is gonna be there if you've committed to your partner about this stuff, communicate about your sex life. It is going to be there. If you've committed to your partner for life, you need to make communicating about your sex life the most important thing that you, one of the most important things that you do, you talk about everything else but your sex life. So talk about it.

Figure out how to work around it, whatever turned you guys both on and you're both be really happy because life is too short to have a sex life that is non-communicative and not what you want. Because that's what my show is about. All of you are suffering not getting what they want bad and I'm trying to help you while also just talk to your partner about it. And then if you find out, you know what, they're not into what I'm into and that's a deal breaker.

We'll find out now people how and how and how they will get married and they're like, well, we never really had a great connection. Well, I have a higher sex drive than she does. That stuff doesn't change people. No one changes. So if you're engaged right now and you're like, well, when we get married, she'll start giving me more blow jobs. Uh-uh. No. She's not going to give you more blow jobs when you get married. That's not going to happen. So stop telling yourself stories. Oh, here's no thing I got to, here's nothing I got to bring up. Because I have a Frank getting married in a few weeks and

You have you have never really ever lived with somebody that you've dated before right anybody that ever what? That you dated I've never been with anybody you never you never lived with somebody that I've never lived with anybody that I've dated now never She Is getting married in two weeks and she's never lived with anybody that I've dated. No. Never. She is getting married in two weeks, and she's never lived with her fiance. Really? And she says, I don't think I'm going to move in with them right away after we get married. I'm like, what is wrong with you?

She's like, I don't know. I kind of like my own space. Wow. Like, you're freaking crazy. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, this reminds me of somebody else's. Well, I got to own space. Wow. You're freaking crazy. And I'm thinking, wait a minute, this reminds me of somebody else's hell. Well, I gotta tell you, I just met a guy. I'm a moris.

Yeah, I think that couples who don't live, I mean, I think this is gonna be a trend. I believe that, I mean, it's great to live with your partner, but the number one killer of sex drive is when people are told, we move in together, we become one, we share everything. everything you see them brushing their teeth going to the bathroom every day that is not conducive to hot sex that's not conducive to keeping the romance alive so maybe what's the rush to live with someone I mean I feel like I just met a guy recently who's been married for like 10 years and he's moving out

because he's like you know what I think we're better off in separate places for now they're not separating. Things are great, but they're just having separate pads. I think that's a good idea. But I wouldn't purport it for everybody, not every couple who lives together is having not great sex. A lot of couples live together, it's great. But a lot of couples live together.

They drive each other insane. They don't have sex anymore. They become best friends. He's farting. She's plucking her eyebrows or whatever. I mean, not that plucking her eyebrows or whatever. I mean, not that plucking eyebrows is bad, but you're doing everything in front of each other. And automatically that person that you were so hot for and so hot and heavy,

and you wanted to rip their clothes off and you walk in the door, you walk in, she's got a face mask on wearing, you know, her sweatpants for the last three days, and you might not have that fun that attractive. So if you are living with someone, make the effort to always keep it hot, or, you know, try to take some time with from each other, get separate apartments. I love your friend that she's doing this. That's amazing. I know you would. I don't know. I think it just works for some people. Has your mom and your brother given up on hope of you getting married? I don't think that they've given up hope. No. I do not think that my mom and brother. I don't think that they've given up hope.

No. I do not think that my mom and brother, I don't think that they know that that's never been a priority for me to get married and live with someone. So no. They haven't given up hope. They don't care. They actually don't care. They just want me to be happy and not too crazy. Not too crazy. Well, no guarantees.

No guarantees there. Oh, oh, men. It's also in everyone listening. I'm going to be on the Chris Jenner show, her new talk show on. God. I think it's airing on Wednesday the 21st, so August 21st. I'm filming it on Monday. So everyone check that out. I'm filming it on the 20th. I want to be there again. I'm filming it on the 19th, Monday. The 19th?

Yeah. I wanna be there. You should come. For reals, dude, come. E-mommy, call me. We'll talk. I don't know, I think it's all day. I don't know.

I think it's okay, work it out. Okay, this our last question. Embarrassing sex questions. I have a really high or slash low sex drive that is different than other people's sex drives. How do I get around this? So this is what we're just talking about with couples. If you have a high sex drive, first of all masturbating every day or even multiple times

a day which I get asked all the time is completely normal. Don't feel bad. Thinking about sex often is completely normal and should not be seen as a problem unless it gets in the way and harms other aspects of your life like you're going in late for work, you're never show up for your relationship, you can missing appointments. So if you have a high sex drive, you can engage your body in lots of exercise, try yoga, keep your body busy and active so you don't feel physically frustrated from not having sex.

You can also pursue non-sexual relationships with people. So try to be friends with people that you don't want to bang. You can still have satisfying relationships with outsex and you could abstain from alcohol and drugs, especially if you feel they lower your inhibitions and you might do something that you regret. So if you have a low sex drive, this might be something also for that you want to talk to your doctor about. A lot of times there's certain medications and impressions, blood pressure medication.

Like if it used to be like higher and now it feels really low, I would first as always get checked out by your doctor and see what is going on. You could also, there's certain food you can eat, there's certain supplements you can eat and you just might not be as high as high as a sex drive as someone else. There is nothing wrong with that. You just might need to find a partner that's okay with having sex whatever it is one time a week or one time a month. But first again a lot of it can do with like your your your your body so you would you should get checked out. So that's what I got to say about all that menace. That's what I got for you today. And yeah and I want to say to everyone, follow me on Twitter

because I am going to be doing lots of really cool giveaways and I'm always doing fun tweets because I want to help you with your sex life. So it's at sex with Emily. Instagram is sex with Emily. Like me on Facebook, sex with Emily. Check out my podcast, all that stuff. What about you, Metas? I want you to download Citrus TITCHER because I use our studio every week in San Francisco. It's a entirely free app to listen to this show and many shows. All you got to do is type in sex on the app, Stitcher. Once again, download it for your tablet, your iPhone, or your Android phone, and you will enjoy it. You'll enjoy it, Stitcher's awesome.

Also, I have an iPhone app called Kegel Camp, and I'm telling you, it's for men and for women, it's your Kegel exercises. It's my voice walking you through it. Dr. Drew is doing Kegel Camp with me, every now and with me, but my app, and I'm telling you, there's more men doing it. My friend just emailed me,

he's like, I'm on level seven. There's 20 levels. And it'll make you have stronger orgasms. It'll help you last longer. And it's five minutes a day. And you can go through 20 levels. And he's like, I can frigging crack walnuts with my PC muscles now. So it's those peace-stopping muscles.

Check out Kaggle Camp. It's amazing. And I love everyone for listening to Sector of the Emily. So I love you, Menace. And come down and see me. And I hope that everyone listening to Sex with Emily. So I love you, Menace. Come down and see me. And I hope that everyone keeps checking out our shows and you know, go to iTunes and review it and talk about how much you love it.

And I've got more shows coming, more videos, lots of a setting stuff. Sign up on my website, sackswithenely.com, put your name there, get the free report, five biggest mistakes you're making in bed. That's what I got for you. Happy, happy day everyone.

Thanks, Menace, and thanks, thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. Was it good for you? Email me. FeedbackItSexWithEmily.com. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. One of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at Good Vibrations. Good Vibrations is the sex-positive store carrying the best toys with an informative website at GoodVibes.com. I got my very first toy from Good Vibrations, so I've been a fan for a long time, and

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