Sex With Emily - Swinging, Strap-On's & the "New Squirting" with Sportsheets

Episode Date: September 14, 2016

From a velcro wall to your bedroom, it’s no secret that Sportsheets has taken the sex world by storm. In today’s show, Emily and Menace are joined by CEO and founder of Sportsheets, Tom Stewart. With Tom as their guide, they unpack the evolution of the revolutionary bondage brand, in addition to providing you with you ample advice to satisfy all your carnal curiosities! Is monogamy slowly becoming a thing of the past? Are you begging for a pegging, but aren’t sure how pull it off? How do you change your rollercoaster sex life into something more steady? Tom assists Emily and Menace in answering these questions, and gives us the lowdown on Sportsheets’ hottest bondage products, as well as all things pegging and prostate play. Whether you want to be tethered, tied up, blindfolded or pegged, don’t restrain yourself from listening to this podcast! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm joined by Tom Stewart, the founder and CEO of SportsDeads, which is one of the hottest bondage brands on the market today. He's actually developed the most accessible and fun products that make it easy to keep your sex life exciting, so I think you're going to want to take some notes and also be answering your emails. I'm here with Menis. Thank you so much for listening. Thanks for listening. Hello. All right people, it's time to introduce you to something that combines two of my favorite topics, oral sex and lube.

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Go to my site, click on the Gelato banner, or go to my store to shop the complete selection of Joe lubricants. There's a formulation for every occasion. Trust me. So if you're ready to be dessert, order some gelato for yourself at sexwithenley.com today. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bedroom eyes they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Emily, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. Hey, girls, gotta understand. Oh my!

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemely.com because there's so much happening in our website. Here's what you gotta do. You gotta subscribe to the podcast because it just makes your life so much easier

because I know you all love listening to it. And however you listen, when you you subscribe you can rewind, right? Manus, you can just go back to where you were. It doesn't set you back to to Yeah, you're obsessed with that lately. I can know it. Do you know why? Yeah, you didn't know. Well, because that would piss me off. There's certain podcasts I listen to and I'm like, God damn it I was a minute 18 and I had to go back. Uh-huh. Well, I mean, that's great, everything. And it helps us too. And what we really, really want is for you to rate the show and write a comment and just

go to the Sex with Emily website because it's so great. It shows you all the different places that you can listen to the show. Exactly. So let's say you're maybe you're on an app that you're not really a big fan of. You can go to the sex with Emily.com and click on. Google Play, SoundCloud, Spotify, all those families. I'm addicted to SoundCloud. I love Sound on. Google Play SoundCloud. Spotify. All this funnily. I'm addicted to SoundCloud.

I love SoundCloud. Yeah, super easy. Yeah, I love SoundCloud. Okay, that's cool. Do that. And then subscribe to our newsletter, which you're going to want to do because this is what's happening this month. This September is we're celebrating back to sexual confidence month.

So we're doing giveaways to help you have better sex and it all starts with confidence. So if you haven't yet, which I'm sure you already do, but if you haven't go to our Instagram and Twitter, which is sex with Emily and Snapchat and Facebook.com slash sex with Emily, sign up for our news. So you can hear all the details because I promise you we're giving away some cool stuff that will bring back your confidence and have killer sex per usual, which is what I'm all about. And what else could you do? That's, that's all in shop. You can shop on our site. That's a good time. No, the best thing is SM-ly too. Asgettly, right. Or you have people that leave voicemails. That's great. Yeah, we got the voicemails. We got

a number on there. And every day we do update with blogs and videos. Yeah, it's a good, friggin time. You don't have to use your real name. Don't worry. You can even disguise your voice. That'd be hilarious That's true also when you write an email please when you write an email into the show tell us Your age so we know where you're at in life to let us know where you are in the world and three how you listen to the show That's all we ask that's it. That's it. We just asked a few things and now it's all about you So you know do it do it. So what's up in Venice. That's easy. We just asked a few things and now it's all about you. So you know, do it. Do it. So what's up with menace? I

Took a very long road trip from Los Angeles to Reno, Nevada, right? Not Las Vegas this time. Oh, to Reno, Nevada. Hang out with some family. That was great. There's the same thing. They're really rebuilding it there. So I don't know if it's maybe a great place for young people to go and meet other people and buy a house for like 50 bucks. You know how they're calling it the new Portland. I did not know this. We'll look out, Reno.

I always think of Reno like on the way to Tahoe, I guess. And then so he's kind of sketch, I don't know. No, no, no, it's great. I also don't, I avoid snow and I never would go up there as much as everyone else in the big. So winter's were fun. Okay, go to Reno. Yeah, again, like everybody in my family,

it's like having babies and all this kind of crazy stuff. Everybody. Everybody. How do you feel about that? Do you get the pressure? Were they all asking you when you're going to be a baby? Oh, no, they don't ask me. Never.

I think they kind of give up. No one asks you anything. I don't know. Sex life, babies, sex life, I don't even know what the hell they kind of give up. No one asks you anything. I don't know what the hell you're doing. I know this stuff, but oh, I have a funny story though. Go, tell me everything. So I was out there from my dad's birthday, right? And so the whole family's getting together and stuff like that.

But fast forward a year before that, my dad was in Tahoe and if people don't know, there's lakes and rivers and all that kind of stuff. So he's in a kayak and he flips over the kayak, he loses his phone, right? Okay. Fast forward a year later, my sister is in Tahoe, doing the same thing.

She's in a kayak, a couple feet into the water, flips over and her phone goes in the water. Now she's there with her friends and they're messed up and they're drunk and high or whatever, right? Kids, right. So then she picks up her phone and it's like glitching and all this kind of stuff.

So usually when people drop her phone in the water, they put in a bunch of rice. Right. Well, since they're all messed up, they're like, oh, just buried in the sand. It works like rice. Well, how come they go back and they can't even find the phone? Oh my God, that's horrible. They never found it.

So she's never found it and she's been like going through a nightmare trying to replace the fun. That is just that is hilarious. That's pretty hilarious. But you think she would have learned from your dad's experience. Yeah. Here's the thing about that rice thing. I mean, I don't know if that does that really work because it does. Because I one time this happened it was so annoying, it was about a year ago. And I was at my friend Anna's barbeque, and I was going to the bathroom, and it was in my back pocket, and it dropped in the toilet.

And I went on a dammit, so I come out, and it was a new phone. I was like, what are I doing? And then everyone's looking around her, and her coverage was like, I only have quinoa. Like, and they're her neighbors, sorry, I only have quinoa. Like, how L.A. is that? Nobody had got damn rice. So I was like, well, I guess I'll just try the quinoa,

and I put in quinoa, didn't work. And then at a second party that day, like two hours later Because I'm so popular it was like another I don't remember what it was another woman Winterhouse like you happen to have rice like Just quinoa quinoa yeah really like what how was it? It's almost like you need baking soda in your refrigerator You need like a box of rice for your phone everyone just in case I come over

I might drop it at any parties with any gentlemen lately any parties with any gentleman lately um Not really no. I've been at any parties with any gentlemen lately. Any parties with any gentlemen lately? Um, not really, no. I've been at some fun parties with girlfriends, dinners, and yeah, I've had some, seems like all your friends are being babies, a lot of my friends are getting divorced. So I'm actually having a lot of conversations about that too. A lot of people that just got married right at a high school and now they're getting divorced.

Exactly. So it's a lot of conversations about how do you, how do you even know how to date now? How do I, you know, show me your Snapchat. So it's a lot of conversations about how do you not even know how to date now or how do I you know Show me your snapchat. So it's home of your bumble show me and I'm reading people's profiles and like picking out the best pictures and 90% of all the divorces At least in my age range or like people that are hung out with they are getting divorced because of cheating Because the social media that's true Facebook because guys are effing dumb and they can't cover their tracks. I know. You know?

And women who cheat, well, there's a study we were going to read. They're way better at cheating. No, women. They don't get caught. Like, women do not get caught cheating as much as men. And the number one, we've always said Facebook was like top five. But there was a study that came out that said Facebook was the number one reason that women cheat.

Overman. Facebook. So everyone just closed down their Facebook account if you're marrying. It's not good for you. It's not going to help you. One more thing I I'm gonna mention before we get into our amazing guest here is that I'm gonna be in New York just soon. It's September 24th and 25th, the sexual health expo in Brooklyn and I'll be doing a live podcast on the 24th Saturday at 1pm. You won't be there. I'm so sad. I know. I love to be in New York. But the sexual

health expo is awesome. They've workshops on a bunch of fun topics. Here's some of them. How to get out of your head and into role playing digital dating, how to sex Skype and swipe your way to dating success. I should send all my friends there because I'm so tired of teaching them how to swipe. The female anatomy, which I know a lot of you could use some help with. And of course, how to give a great blow job. All that. So check it out. There's the the she banner on the website click on it tickets

It's gonna be a good time What no I I'm just wondering like which ex boyfriend you're gonna hook up within New York. Oh I'm trying to I don't have I got a I got a stirrup a whole new pot. I got a start Swiping I don't have like I had a bunch of guys in New York and then they got married and then I kind of lost touch So maybe they're like, you know, I don't know what but I think I'll be good time to like kind of mix up the rotation Maybe I should put something on Facebook. Good. Say I'm coming to New York. What's hanging out? What's up? That's bang Okay, so I want to get to our guest here because I'm really excited about him to it

I am very interested. But did I say let me just make sure I said everything I had to say. Hold on a minute. I just, because this is them. There's a point in the over term, because I love this guy. And I'm just making sure we set it all. OK. Hi, Tom. Tom is here.

He's from Sportsheets. And you're always asking me, how do I keep my sex life interesting? How do I talk to my partner about trying new things in the bedroom? Do we not get asked that question every day? I'm on it. Both of those questions. Yeah. So I'm excited because you're fascinating, Tom. He's a CEO and founder of the Easy to Kinky Up Bondage brand Sportsheets. So, and whenever you know people, welcome to the show. Thanks. Thanks Emily.

I'm so glad you're here and I've always benefited your products. I don't know anybody who make none. It doesn't even matter who exists, who makes products like this, because people are so interested, a lot of our listeners, just how do I spice it up in the bedroom? Like how do I start bondage? Like do I need a dungeon? And I'm like, get sports sheets, it's like Velcro cuffs.

I mean, that's just tipping nice, bring it to the products you have, but now you're here. I'm here, this is so beautiful. This is so fun. This is so fun. Yeah, good to meet you. Nice to meet you too.

Well, we're gonna get into all that fun stuff, but we got a little sex in the news first. Okay. What were you going to say? No, I was just going to say, is it sportsheets.com? Just so people can look at West Side while they're listening. Yes. Thank you. It's sportsheets.com, and I can even tell you the social media, is Twitter, Sportsheets.intl,

International, and Facebook is at Sportsheets, Instagram at Sportsheets. And this is all on our website as well. Cool. Okay. And we're actually shooting the show today. So we're going to be some clips coming out so you can check out the show and a lot of the stuff that we're talking about because I'm telling you, it doesn't be some serious learning going on. Okay.

Sex videos. One in five people date non-monogamously. So millennials and dating non-monogamously. So millennials and dating non-monogamously, say that 10 times fast, more than any, millennials are dating non-monogamously, more than any generation to come before us somehow. But Pallium, we are, Pallium, we are the practice of consenting open relationships, still remains on the fringes of mainstream culture and discourse. So there's a new study, a wide-ranging study, 21% of people have experienced dating non-monogamously. And this was published in the Journal of Sex and

Marital Therapy, and they clarified it. They defined it, and they said, nomenogamy was defined as the participants, any relationship in which all partners agree that each may have romantic and or sexual relationships with other partners. So pretty much like you're dating around. I think if you're just dating and nowadays like people are trying to do, trying to do like that don't ask don't tell. Doesn't work very well.

Kind of attitude. Yeah, it doesn't because then eventually like all right, well, what is this? Right, where we at? And then either get the answer. Well, I thought we're just dating or two. Yeah, let's, you know, well, what is this? Where we at? And then either get the answer, well, I thought we're just dating or two, yeah, let's, you know, let's do something. Right, but now they're saying that people are more

and more just like practicing polyamory, but they're not like saying they're polyamorous. So the study says that these numbers are really high. So why isn't the talk about polyamorous lifestyles like more, you know, into like social science circles and people aren't talking about it. So yeah, I think that's really, I'm trying to think,

because when I first thought about it, I said, well, is that really how you're defining? Because I think a lot of people are casually dating and they're not telling their partners that they're dating. I think they're like, no one person. That's super open about it with their partner. Other than that, they're just like, we're, I'm dating, you know, that's it.

But then I think that, yeah, I don't know, what do you think, Tom? Do you think that there's pali-amries on the rise? Well, I think a lot of the people that are coming out of college have been hooking up all these years, and I don't think the hooking up thing has stopped. It's not going anywhere. Why stop if it's working for you, if it's a good thing?

Right, but I'm wondering if they're telling their, like, if they're being open about it. I don't think they were open And in school. I don't I Think it's very difficult to say hey Susie. I was a bit janing last night. Right exactly I don't feel about that right because well, she was Susie on with you tonight. That isn't everything right and I think there's an I think this sounds like this is an extension of the way dating school and the universities, right? I think so too and I think that just people are't, and I think the more honest you are, like the more, you know, the more honest your relationship will, you know, be more likely to,

you know, you're more honest, it's better to be honest always, but also you don't know the intentions of your partner. They're probably in the same place you are, and you might as well just be open to it. I think people would have helped your relationships and figure out what they want, rather than all the sneaking around, because when you lie, it's be open to it. I think people would have helped your relationships and figure out what they want rather than all of the sneaking around. Because when you lie, it's hard to remember. And I remember dating in college, several guys at once, I went through period. And I remember I got confusing.

Like the hardest thing was like, I told you, I'd be like telling him a story. I'm like, remember, I told you that. And you'd be like, no, you didn't. And I'd be like, oh, right. So then I had to start saying, well, I think I might have already told you this, but rather than making assumptions.

Like when you meet someone and you're like, instead of saying nice to meet you, say nice to see you, it's kind of that same thing. So they're like, we are not. Well, when you and I were in college, there was no texting. So you couldn't like keep it in order. Right, exactly. Exactly. There was no texting. There was no. You could file it all together and organize it. It was a lot. It was a lot harder. Because now, yeah, you could just text, and you can hit up 12 people at night, and see who shows up for your, who bites for your, um, hook it up. Yeah, what's it called?

Booty call. Okay, yeah, that's what you guys say about that. Let's get into Tom. Tom, okay, so Tom. I'm waiting. Welcome to the show. Thanks. I'm so excited that you're here

and talk about your lovely products that you brought. But how did sports sheets get started? Because it's really is a fascinating brand? I think tell me how it got started Well, we started this in our in our garage about 25 years ago The idea for the very first product the sports sheet, which is a velcro compatible Bondage bed sheet. That's what a sport sheet is. That idea came from the David Letterman show. Back in the late 80s, David was doing his demonstrations for Velcro, and his engineers had stitched Velcro on his, on his, like a jumpsuit, and he was showing all these different things you can do with Velcro. But the coolest thing was he jumped on a little trampoline and launched himself onto a Velcro

wall. I remember this. Do you remember this? Yeah. So I was in the Marine Corp then and we're at the Officers Club drinking beers and talking about women and sex because that's what we did. I'm sure. And somebody said, did you see that Letterman episode the other night and And somebody said, yeah, we're stuck to the Velcro wall.

And somebody said, wouldn't it be cool if you could stick your girlfriend to a Velcro wall and have sex with her? And all of us said, yes, that would be great. And then you could peel her off and turn her upside down and turn her sideways, be like sexual fly paper. Look, what a great idea. So this became sort of our inside joke. Right.

And it was a joke. I want to velcro that. That's right. Yeah, I want to hate you know, we'd nudge each other when we saw somebody hot and go, Hey, Tom Velcro, her. Oh, yeah. Yeah, upside down. No, she's talking.

Marie, did I get it? You'd write. So there was this thing never died. This idea never went away. And we started bringing in the girlfriends and the wives and just said, hey, you know, if you could get tied up with Velcro, you're stuck to a Velcro wall, would you? And the whole thing was like as long as I could get out.

Right, okay. I'd give it a try. And so it was sort of like, you know, I translated that into, as long as I had a safety net, sure I'd be up for anything. Which I think applies to life. Totally. You know, if you're up on a six foot, sure I'd be up for anything. Which I think applies to life. Totally. If you're up on a six foot balanced beam

or something like that. If you're not gonna fall that far, okay. Right. A lot more people will bunge you off the bridge if the bunge is attached. Right. A little safety line there. That makes sense.

So I decided that there was so much interest in this whole Velcro I Velcro idea that I called the guy from Velcro There's like one guy Velcro there is the guy from Velcro nice. Oh my god I wish I invented Velcro and post it. I called the 800 number, you know, it's like one 800 Velcro USA So you're like in your 20s at this time. You're like yeah, okay, yep And so, so anyway, but before I call the guy, we were talking about this Velcro wall, and then somebody suggested, well, what if it was a Velcro table?

And then, you know, what about a pool table? You know, and then somebody, some genius said, well, what a make a set of bed sheets. And that was when the light went off, and I went, okay, there's something to this. Okay. And like I said, the joke just never, it just never went away. So that's when I called went off and I went, okay, there's something to this. And like I said, the joke just never, it just never went away. So that's when I called the guy from Velcro

and I said, hey, I got an idea. Don't hang up on me now, because it's like 25 years ago. When like bondage was in everybody's basement, not like it is now. And the guy started laughing when I told him he says that is the best application for Velcro. I've ever heard my life on me next week.

Nice. I look good. It gone so many different ways. But right. Yep. So I met this guy and he showed me these two materials that we still use today on the sports sheet. And it was, you know, Velcro's hook and loop.

It's got that kind of fuzzy stuff and the real scratchy stuff and you put them together and you can peel them apart, but you can't like pull them apart. Right. So this is how Velcro works. So one of the guys in the squadron, his wife, was a seamstress. And so she volunteered to sew the very first set of Velcro sheets that we're even called sport sheets.

So Debbie sewed these things together. And we took a hand cuff. We sort of, well, we took a surf leash and turned them into hand cuffs because, you know, we're on the beach and they were plentiful and they didn't hurt and you could get them off really easily. Right. Velcro. It's like, man, it's easy on, easy off. Velcro. And so then we came up with this anchor pad thing

that sticks anywhere to the surface of the bed sheet. And you connect your surf leash, or your cuff, or your wrist cuff to the little pad that sticks anywhere on the sheet. And you can't pull it off the bed, but you can peel it up and get away. Oh, not to be right, peel not pull. So you're only as tight up as you want to be.

There's the safety net. And that was the thing that allowed most of the women that we talked to said, sure, I'll give it a try as long as I can get out. So we kind of kept that whole as long as I can get out mentality to most of the products that we make today. So Debbie sold the set of sheets and it worked. We couldn't believe it. It worked. And now we believe it. It worked and Now we knew okay now what you try it on someone we like who's who's gonna have Elk or you? What's going first? There's gotta be the first. Yeah. Yes. Thank you Joy

You know who you are and Joy was a Debbie Tant You know in her past life and she said okay, I'll give it a try. And there was like six of us in the bedroom. When we said, set this thing up. And she said, I'll give it a try. So we all hooked her up and she's like spreading along this bed sheet. Right, naked or not naked?

This was just a bit of work to not make it. Not naked. And I get it. So we got her spread eagles on the the sport sheet and she said I said okay Not not pull like try to get out and she starts pulling and the anchor pads don't move the handcuffs You start to cry. Oh my god. This was like your moment, right? You're like when it I didn't know what I think about Steve jobs and like there was a computer when it made I remember watching the doc. It's at that same kind of thing Yeah, there was a silence in the room and then joy

Just you know, she's like doing this ab crunch thing trying to get out in the bed sort of you know Moving up and stuff and so she sort of gives up an exhaustion and then she starts cracking up and Everybody in the bedroom started laughing their asses off and it was it was hysterical and it was like oh my god This this sort of like defining moment right didn't end with anybody in tears. It was just it was hysterical. And it was like, oh my God, this sort of like defining moment, didn't end with anybody in tears. It was just, it was hysterical. It was funny. And it was like uplifting, like section.

Yeah. You should be able to do it. Exactly. You were all about fun sex. You should be able to do that. You should be able to do that. You should be able to do that. You should be able to do that.

Exactly. Exactly. And there was such laughter from this. It's like, okay, the energy's too good on this. It's amazing. I got to pursue it. So I got some more material from Velcro. We got a place up in LA to start sewing some of these sheets. And then we thought, well, where do we sell these? Right.

And that was. There wasn't a target then. Not that they would take it. That's true. No, right. They weren't that many sections. No, they were like the ones that were all like on the site. We were from Michigan.

Right. So like, remember, there was, what was it called? The one on the side of the road and the I-75? I was like, some sketchy, you wouldn't go to the sex toy store, is that right? Okay. Because they were like, yeah. Like you put quarters in the ring.

And the picture. Yeah, picture. Yeah, picture. Right. There were a couple down on eight miles. Pink lady, dusty lady, pink rabbit. What was it called? Do you know what I'm talking about?

No, okay, keep going. I'll tell you something. There were some on eight miles. Right. And we're on eight miles, okay, keep going. There was someone eight mile. Right. And Woodward, we're eight mile. Oh God bless. Right, yeah. Love the trade. And we, so anyway, we went to a show here in Los Angeles

and it was called Sensuality or something like that. And my brother met the guy from the Lifestyles organization, which was a swingers organization. He told him, he says, hey, we're having a big convention in like 30 days, there's gonna be 300 couples after LAX Hilton swingers, you should come and sell this thing. What better people to sell to? So we didn't really know what a swinger was.

Yeah, we heard about him, but you know, I wasn't a swinger, my brother wasn't. And so we thought, okay, 300 couples that are going to have sex. Let's see if anybody will buy it. Wow, okay. So we took it and we set this, we set the sport sheet up in the little exhibit area. And it was the hit of the show. And we sold every single one.

Oh my God. That's amazing. I think we only like brought 20. We didn't have any packaging or anything like that. It's just here. So did you have cuffs and stuff that were you selling the cuffs with it too? Or is that okay? It came with the cuffs that you made from that.

Yeah, it was a fully-fitted sheet and it, you know, King or Queen and we had four cuffs and four anchor pads, one for each arm and leg. So it was really cool. And the cool thing about the swingers was that they would, they'd buy this set like on Friday night, take it upstairs to the room, do their party, and they come back down Saturday and they say, oh man, it was awesome, we had the X, Y, and Z people on this thing, but you need to make me this,

and I need a blindfold, I know. I was gonna ask you, how did you come out with the rest of the product? Because you have the blindfold. I mean, I always tell people, if you want to try kink, you're interested in it. I always say, just get the sports sheets, like the beginner kit, where you have the handcuffs and you have the blindfold and the ticklers, which is what you need. Oops,

the feathers and the paddles. So that's what they were telling you. You're like, I can make that. Yeah, we started off with one product and people said, I need more cuffs and we're like, well, the set comes with four cuffs. How many more do you need? No, you don't understand. I need more cuffs. The swingers need like six sets of cuffs, okay? I love these people. And so they're asking for all this extra product that we don't have, and I'm going, well, I don't make that. My brother's nudging me, he says, yeah, you do. Yeah, you do. Oh, yes, sir, we do.

How many would you like? And that began the whole expansion of the product line. We started off with the sport sheet, the one product, now we've got over 400. Hey, you got so many products now. I was on a site, yeah. Were you guys based out of? I'm on products now. I was on a site. Yeah. Were you guys based out of?

Not here in Los Angeles. I'm from Beach. I'm from Beach. Yeah. Nice. So you guys kind of brought the SNM world to BDSM to the main stream. I'd like to think so. Yeah.

And you know, we were really sort of, I guess, the heretics of BDSM back then because you could escape. You could get out of this. And right. Because it was like, people think of it. There's a key and what if you lose the key. and so there's like a safety to it. There. Yeah. And a lot of the traditional, you know, restraints were, you know, once you tied your partner up, they couldn't get out unless you let them out. Right. And that was pretty much the thing that freaked people

out about even trying bondages like man, I don't, I don't trust this guy or I don't trust her. Exactly. We have that a lot of times even when there's not bondage involved. Yeah, that house burns down. We met though, so we've met a few times. But so, you know how I always go to my sex shows, my sex trade shows. Yes. So, last year we had some found footage that we should also post. But we, I was there and Madison, producer, Madison was there.

And they had the coolest spread because they've got the sports sheets out. They've got the cuffs and he's like, come here. And he tried, like I had never actually, I had, I had the underbed restraints. I mean, I have some, you know, spreader bar, but I never tried the actual like sheets with you, the founder and you were like tying me up. We've got video with the spreader bar, the whole thing. And you're quite a professional professional now. You've learned your skills since then.

And you're incredibly flexible. I am flexible. I am flexible. So I was a good little model, but I was like wow this is really cool And then I wrote Madison with the doggy strap doggy strap. That was a good time Um, but you're um your whole slogan like keeping couples connected and all that like how people like well But I'm not into like bond stuff like how do you still think this is you know can expand to everybody like we know you've a lot of different things Um, you know our products primarily products primarily started off as bondage, and then we started making strap on harnesses.

And then we made intercourse products. Like we have a product called the Doggy Style Strap, which I think. Do you know about this menu? It's a Doggy Style Strap. No. I'm sure you do. Tell me more.

Doggy Style Strap. Doggy Style Strap. It's pretty freaking cool, like you know sportsheets Can you get me a doggy style strap but people always like it how does it work time you invented it? Well, you tried this with Madison, right? Okay, she loved it. She still talks about it every day I'm gonna start writing around the office with it. Just for fun The doggy style strap in a in a hetero relationship, you know guy behind the woman puts this strap with a pad the pads about six inches wide and about 12 inches long,

and there's a nylon belt that goes on the outside of that. So it's very comfortable up against your skin, but it gives the guys handles on the end of the strap. They're loops, and you can adjust these, you know, for however big or small your arms are. And what it does is it, you put it right above the woman's pubic bone. Mm-hmm. Non-honored tummy, but right above a pubic bone. And as you go inside her and pull back like you're thrusting, your penis, the guy's penis actually

goes in further, it actually compresses the vaginal canal a little bit. So it hits a different spot in the woman's vagina and it is absolutely phenomenal. It will and I claim this and it's true, it will change the way your intercourse feels, which is a pretty bold statement. Yeah, but we've been making this product for I think 15 years and no one's ever called up and said, the product doesn't work. So. So it helps the guys and the woman. Like she's getting it in different spots and he can like pull her in. And you know one of the coolest things is that you know we've been to a lot of public sex shows like the she coming up sexual hotExpo.

You guys are going to be there. I don't think so. No, this is the one that's in New York. Right, right. Yeah, I'm banned from that state. I'm banned from that state. Yeah. I'm sure. But when we went to the show, I met this girl and I had my sports eats shirt on.

And it was a young couple, maybe, I don't know, like 21, 22 years old. And they came up and they said, sports eats. Oh my God, we have the doggy style strap. We use it every single time. We dot, dot, dot, dot. And it's like, you know, oh my God, we have the doggy style strap. We use it every single time. We dot, dot, dot, dot, dot. And it's like, you know, to meet an actual user. Right. And, you know, I don't know, unprovoked or un...

Right, no people, I mean, you guys have been running people. It's absolutely amazing. And the more people that I talk to go about, you know, using this doggy style strap, the more people go, oh my God, yeah, it totally makes a difference. And there's not a lot of things that you can use for intercourse that will actually make that work. That's why you're in a course different.

Right, and that's why the G-Spot, the G-Spot link too, like the menace these products, the strap, like you know how many women email, like, can't find my G-Spot, I think we do have a question about this, but it's like, it helps women, like the position, like these straps will help you the link, the G-Spot link like get in the position. So the G-Spot orgasm, like there's nothing like, do you see?

No, well, we were just talking about one of my co-worker, she's like, never had an orgasm. Did you give her the vibrator? I did, I gave her a talk. I gave her, you're never going to talk about it. No, I will. You will not be like, hey, so do you have that orgasm? No, she will, she'll tell me. I gave her the weebap patch because I do like the touch. So my coworker. She's never had orgasm before.

And then so, yeah, then Emily hooked her up with a toy to play around with. But this might, what you're talking about here, is something that maybe that she should also try out. Oh, yeah. Exactly. Well, because she's, yeah. And she's married. Totally. What will her grow up? I want everyone, when people have orgasms, I'm like,

do do do do do do. I was like, what can I do? What do you mean never? Have you done this? Have you done that? Have you tried everything? Have you tried everything? Because there's so much to try.

Have you listened to the sex with them? But exactly. Just do that for a minute. Go to the website. But men, just remind me, being on your show was super fun on the Woody show. And in that podcast, he will keep emailing and asking when that came out.

And that came out with you and Woody visiting here last week. That's awesome. A lot of people loved it and the time that you were on the Woody show I'm gonna send you that audio so you can put it on. Yeah. A cast later. Perfect. We will do that. When you're on a trusty radio and you have to talk nice. I did not mess up. You did a button one. No. Medesign met 10 years ago. And we were doing this public radio. You guys go back that far.

Public radio. We do this 11 years. Yeah, 11 years. I was on a radio station. It's time for to go. Yeah, she came from podcasting to Tresill Radio. And I didn't know all the FCC guidelines. But now we're here in podcasting.

So everything's all that's amazing. That's all that. Fuck it. OK, totally. OK, so we're going to get some emails and some that's all done. Fuck it, shit. Okay, totally. Okay, so let's, we're gonna get some emails and some more questions. If we're gonna give a big shout to our sponsors, who we love, and thank you for supporting them,

and we'll be right back. What's your favorite song? What's your favorite song? If there's something I've more of than toys, it's cosmetics, and it seems like I don't even use half of them. My makeup counter looks like, well, you can probably guess because I bet yours looks similar. Just when things seem totally out of control, the folks at Kopari asked me to try their line of multitasking beauty products. Kopari's products

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Sex with Emily listeners can now save 20% on Kopari products. Just go to KopariBeauty.com slash Emily. That's k-o-p-a-r-i-beauty.com slash Emily today. Okay everyone, thanks for listening. Thanks for saying this. I love this. I love your stories, Tom. Really? Listen to you all day. I like this, I love your stories, Tom. Really?

Listen to you all day. I like how you were in a major company when you just started out and said, all right, I'm gonna start crappin' out a bunch of products. You actually had an idea, you brought it to the table and you made it happen, which is awesome. And now you have a bunch of other products. And I'm looking at a box right here,

the one that's closest to me. Now what is this? Now, is that a gentleman actually wearing a strap on or what's going on with this? What's a call? Good question, menace. It's called the Upper Laster Stood. It's actually a strap on for guys with a hollow dildo on it.

And it's for guys either with, you know, who are having a hard time getting it up, or if after you have sex and your partner wants to keep going and you don't have an erection again, you can put this thing on, you guys can go all night long. Wow, that is that. That's pretty cool. What's this one called?

It's called the Everlast or Stud. Of course, what a stud. Now that would probably be good because we get tons of emails all the time about what do we do about premature ejaculation and all that kind of stuff. And it is a process. I mean, Emily has the app that you can download. I can't go camp that you can and there's a lot of different processes that but it takes time to get to that point. So if you need a immediate fix, that would probably be a good

one. Yeah. He just straps us on and it's like, what size is it? Um, that's. I don't decide. Yeah, he just straps us on and it's like, what size is it? Um, that fits. I didn't decide. No, but like how long is the penis? Well, the penis is about six and a half, about six and a half inches long. Oh, so it's not. It's not. Ever, they say the, the, the, the success, the iPhone 6s.

Yeah. They have a size of the penis, six and a half, right? Okay. I didn't know that there was that. Well, it just came out. It's easy for everybody to be like, oh, really? Oh, my. So six inches fits right here.

Well, we don't like, right. It all, all the penises are fine and be. So you have the, it just came out. It's easy for everybody to be like, oh really? God, I like six inches fits right. Well, we don't like, right, it all paint all the penises are fine and beautiful. So you have the the ever-laster now, that kind of brings up a big point now. I think 2016 has been the year of pegging into the mainstream. I swear because there's a TV show that I'm really into called Broad City. Yes, I love Broad City. Broad City on Comedy Central, it's freaking hilarious. And they spend a whole episode about pegging, which was hilarious and awesome. But again, that's something that's coming into the mainstream.

It is, it is. I know what, like a couple, three, four years ago, whatever, when we were in San Francisco, a girl came in to the studio and she's like, oh, I just paid the guy for the first time. But what the hell is that? It's like six years ago, exactly. And now it's just like all over the place,

people in the mainstream pretty much know what it is now. Packings like the new squirting, right? So I feel like it's a lot of screen. Pagging squirting. Yeah, you could do that. So let's talk about pagging. Let's talk about pagging because I want it, when you started out, you were like,

I've never. You weren't into any of this stuff. And now I'm assuming your lifestyle, I don't know, has evolved into more incorporating more of this stuff, more of your products, more of your sexy, fluffy, high. Yeah, I probably test every product we make. I mean, we develop a lot of products. You know, as you were mentioning how we've gone from one product to 400,

we have invented the majority of those. You know, some we made variations like a blindfold. You know, that was invented back what four billion years ago. It was actually a dinosaur fossil skull that they found with a, with a blindfold on it. The blindfold. So we sexy take away one sense. Everything else is really good. Kind of sort of one. Right. I love it. But pegging. Okay. So it was be dazzled. When we first aware, you know,

that like anal play was a thing for me. Like when that start coming into or what was your experience? Well, yeah, when did you find out about it? Because I just found it out a few years ago. It's actually good. It's an act. It's a good question. Good topic that you bring up because you know for most guys this is their anuses eggs it only you know yeah. Straight guys. And you know of course we don't feel the same way of humans. Not all gay men. Amos you know right. A woman's anuses you know for entry and, you know, exit. It's our double standard that we get to apply because we're men. And this is America, God dang it.

And that's the way it goes, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah. Until pegging comes along, and then women now get equal opportunity if the guy's into it. And there's some barriers to the guy being into it. Most guys probably if you just popped a question to him like, Hey, can I, you know, stick something in your butt? No, right? Right. Pretty, pretty easy to say no to that. And it's interesting because, you know, back when we were putting people on Velcro walls and Velcro

shoots, the lady said, Yeah, if I could get out, I'd give it a try. Most guys wouldn't even say, nah. I would give it a try. You know, which kind of talks to a lot of the ignorance of young guys, especially, because I think they're older you get, you know, the more experienced experiences you have in your new school. Right, more experiential.

Oh, right. But, you know, for young guys, it's pretty, pretty, pretty, really beautiful. Right. So like, no way, like that would make me gay or it's taboo or whatever it is, but they don't realize that the prostate stimulating that could feel really good for a lot of men. And a lot of guys haven't had the opportunity. They haven't had a finger in their ass, you know, the correct way to stimulate the prostate. So, it would take a savvy woman to introduce this

to perhaps a willing guy. The guy's open to it, and they're on their way to discover. Right, so getting both of those, the woman open to an understanding and the guy wanting it, and then even being able to communicate about it. Yeah, and the weird thing is,

it was a guy that helped me discover my prostate, sort of inadvertently. Okay. What happened? Well, inadvertently. Yeah. inadvertently. So, let's rewind back to when I'm in the Marine Corps.

Okay. So, every year we have a physical exam. And every year you get the flight surgeons up your ass so we can check your prostate. Right. Right? Well, this is of course for us guys, you know, Marines. This is the worst part of why are they checking the prostate at that age though? For fun? No, well, yeah. Feel like hey, I know them reasons. Yeah, really that. Yeah, it's not a walk in the park, but yeah, it could be fun. This isn't really that fun. Yeah, it's not a walk in the park, but it's gonna be fun.

US Naval Medicine has never made total sales. Yeah, you know, somebody thought it would be a great idea. Yeah. It's like, okay, but I think for, you know, just for overall health, you know, tracking a male's health, perhaps a 20 year career, you gotta have some sort of baseline. And if you don't start sticking your finger up your ass in a early age, you really don't have a baseline for, oh my God, you know, maybe by the time

you're 40, your prostate's the size of a tennis ball or something like that. But if it's always been the size of a tennis ball, no big deal. But if you discover this for the first time, it's the size of a tennis ball, and then you say, take it out. So they kept saying it did it every year, okay? Well, that's a normal size tennis ball prostate. Let's put that back in. Yeah.

Too late. So my flight surgeon, I got my cherry busted, my anal cherry busted by my flight surgeon. And the first time you were in there. I mean, he was doing your prostate, he wasn't just like, drunk. Well, okay, got it. No. I'm just being clear here, okay? But thanks to the fantasy.

Yeah. That was a bit. So, you know, with most guys, you know, they're used to the hernia check where the guy, you know, puts his hand, you know, right next to your nut sack and stuff and turn your head to the left and cough, you know, the other thing. So they're already around your junk. Right. You know, the next thing is, you know, with the glove,

and here comes the lube, and it's like, that was my first experience of lube, took it by the way. Oh, okay. Big old blob of KY gel, you know, coming at you. There you go. So, in his finger goes, and you know, hits my prostate, and I feel this sensation

at the end of my penis, not like deep down, but it was just, and it was like one of those little pink, like, what was that? And it did not feel bad. Okay. So, but it was one of those, wow, what was that? But I didn't turn around and ask him that because it's just, it was a normal one.

Right, like doc, did you let again, right? That was my, yeah, right. Hey, could you leave that in there for a few more minutes? Let me wriggle on that, just pardon me. So that was the first time. And then every year, it's the same kind of thing. So you have to learn to relax during this part of the exam, or else it's.

Yeah, it's more paper. It's like I say, for the number one, you'll sextive, one of them is to breathe. You've got I have one of them is to breathe relax and you've got to relax and so I tried this and and again this is years before sports sheets you know very straight lays very hetero focused and I got a guy's hand at my ass so every year we always got treated to that here and the other thing is that everybody had the same exam. So everybody knew that everybody else has had, you know, the finger. Yeah. Doc Rogers finger up their ass. That's what we all talk about how miserable it is. So

guys are talking about their buttholes. Right. But in this context of, you know, Jesus, I got to go get the finger right. Yeah, you know, the right right and then the flight surgeon's joke was You know when he has your his finger up your ass He puts both hands on your shoulders Right, yeah, that's the paranoia right so So I I discovered that okay, there's some there's some sensations here. All right, so let's I get to rewind button again to tell you about how I found my Testicular cyst okay, I'm like balls. Okay. I'm like left testicle, but I thank you very much But I heard this I heard this report about

Testicles self-exam, because they were talking about breast-exam, and you know, men should do this too. And so I thought, okay, so I'm playing around with my nut-zack, which I'm usually doing anyway. I'm under there. And I feel this little tiny bump, and I'm like, what's that?

So I told a friend of mine who was a medical, whatever, pre-law, pre-med, what's the difference? And she said, you need to get that to a doc. So anyway, I go to the doc and, you know, pre-law, pre-med, what's the difference. And she said, you need to get that to a doc. So anyway, I go to the doc and, you know, my point is that I started examining myself. And then after this flight surgeon thing, you know, without kind of like little sensation at the OIP. So, you know, I tried it myself. You know what I mean? Kind of a splunker. Right, right. you're exactly. Yeah.

And you're a pioneer. Yeah, I'm my own pioneer. Right, right. So, this was my intro to my prostate. So I knew there were some good stuff there. And when we came out with a strap on, at first we made them for lesbians. We had a girl who was our bookkeeper, who was a lesbian. And she designed all these strap on's that we had.

And so we sold our strap on's for lesbians. But then couples started buying them. Had troke up and we were to scratch on her head going, how are they doing? Right, right. And this was during this early thing of when Peggy was, you know, before it really hit. People were doing this. What year are we talking about here?

Oh, God, 12 years ago. OK, right. See, we haven't do this for 11, so right? And, you know, a lot of this, a lot of this comes from, a lot of these ideas come from porn, because porn's kind of on the leading edge of, OK, what's the next craziest thing we can do right right well? Let's start you know, but how do you right so then got I mean

Well, we have I wonder if we should we have a question actually from a listener who really wants like the the play by play of He wants to get into packing so we'll get to that in a minute But what I wanted to ask you also was about like how did 50 shades of effect all this? I was so happy when it came like thank God you know people are talking about sex and in bondage and there's, it's sort of become a more mainstream, but I feel like you guys was been like, thank you, like universe, right? It was awesome. It was awesome. It was awesome. Because you're like, we already have all you need and you don't need to build a revenue

pain and you don't have to spend all of them, you know, money on like crazy stuff. But this is like great. You have everything. You have the range. Well, we were doing, we, we were doing this sort of an intro line called Sex and Mischief. And it was right during the time when the books came out And I think that was about 2000 2012. Yep, and so we did this black and white Boxed release of of really kind of basic, you know soup. They're not your basic bondage What is that when you say basic bondage? What is that involved handcuffs blindfolds a little feather ticklers? Yes, I can't put this down. You're holding

Okay, I've been holding on to it. Yeah, little feather tickler with the plastic plastic wand. Okay. Yeah, so that's what it begins Okay, so it's again, it's very easy on easy off. You can get out any time everything's safe We have our you know beginner beginner bondage kit, which has four cuffs attached to scraps, you can tie those to four-postured beds or time around the... Like, you can't really mess it up with the Velcro. Velcro, I love Velcro. I've always loved Velcro with the bag.

Well, it would be an intro kit, you think. Well, that's what you just said. Oh. And would it be those... That's the intricate he was saying. Oh, that is the intricate. Yeah, exactly. If you cough so they can't, like, your hands, your feet. Yeah, a couple different

intricate. We have like a love slave kit, which has four cuffs of blindfold, little feather tickler on it, which is, you know, very popular. Yeah. We have the, um, the less expensive version of the under the bed kit that you have, um, which is called the bed bondage kit. I love it. So you know, I've restrained something I bet it all times. Yeah. And can just like housekeeper comes up to like tuck them in. Yeah. But yeah. She looks an actress. She already knows everything we talked about it now. We had a come to Jesus after three years. I'm like, what do you think I do? Yeah. I just think you're kinky but she didn't know about my anyway. It was a funny story. But yes,

so she knows. But you could done that if everyone has no but they're always available. Right. The underbreder states. Yeah. So yeah yeah, there's a lot of, when people read the 50 shades of grade book, they were either going to go all leather, you know, for the first time, or they're going to have to have some kind of, they didn't, I don't think the wanted ropes. No. So, we gave these straps to the velcro and stuff and made it very, very safe, very easy. And I think the world responded. Our sales almost doubled.

I'm just going to ask, that's what I'm saying. It must have been like a huge. It was insane. It was probably one of the most difficult years we've had. And the difficulty was keeping up with the demand and stuff. And it was awesome. We were falling on all over ourselves, we were running out of money because you know, we had to keep spending more.

Right. I get it, dude. Have a year on business. And so it was a huge, huge boost for us. And what it also did in the industry was the other manufacturers that were making rubber dildos and stuff said, let's get on the bondage bandwagon here, because it's become very popular. So we had, as a result, a lot of competition coming out, you know, copying our products and stuff,

you know, me too stuff, and you know, it was a little frustrating. However, we're still here, we're better than ever. We've got a new line out, we haven't slowed down a bit. So, you know, I think overall the competition has put more bondage products on the walls and on the internet. So the more people are seeing this than ever before. Right. Now it's everywhere. You guys were like the only ones I knew, you're still the only ones. Bondage products on the walls right and on the internet so the more people are seeing this than ever before right now It's everywhere. You guys were like the only ones. I know you're still the only ones. I know Thanks, okay, I think we want to I think we should get into me males. All right, we've got some good ones here We found some emails particularly that I think you could help answer and menace have the world's squeaky is

See by the way, I'm sorry. I had that before we traded. Yeah See by the way, I'm sorry. I had that before we traded. Yeah Here's your new chairs is here. Okay. Um, thank you everybody for email me some of that Loub I do have that Loub. Yeah, let's do it. I've got some Loub in the closet like surgeon Loub, so no worries about that. Okay, everyone. Thank you for emailing feedback at sex at elm.com or like men I said so easy go to the ask Emily button on the site. Oh, you didn't say that part, but you did Yes, you go to ask Emily ask the question directly to do the site or leave a voicemail because we were playing your voicemails on the show. And that number is 818-ask-swe1-818-275-7931. Okay, so the first question is about pegging. So I, we get a lot of that. I don't think that we got these questions five years ago.

Three years ago. But now it's like, oh my god, I got to save earmark. I knew you were coming to the show. I've been wanting you in for so long. So dear Emily, I've always been interested in an anal play. My wife and I have a great sex life and continue to grow in this area. We have used toys and one another in the past with great results.

Recently, we've been discussing pegging and she seems open to it. However, she's nervous regarding the role reversal. My question is, do you have any recommendations for the best strap on harnesses? I definitely want something that will allow her to feel sexy, comfortable, and as good quality. If the harness is uncomfortable or doesn't fit well, I know she'll be more self-conscious and embarrassed and will be reluctant to try, hoping for some guidance, Brian, age 42, Houston,, Texas. So I feel like this is more about

like that the how to do it, you know, like how does yeah, which harnesses against that. But I'm wondering though also like with the neck or couples just like hey night, let's sit at home and like Netflix and peg, you know, like is it how much like prep, you know, has to go into what is she, you know, we can start with buying the product first. So what would you recommend for a beginner strap on? Well, we make, we make a couple different products, specifically for pegging. We make the newcomers kit, which is a very, very simple strap on harness with a tiny, little tiny dildo, real, real slender, maybe about as big as a guy's finger, you know,

just for start, because it's right. And then we do another one. It's called the anal, just for start, because it's like, right. And then we do another one. It's called the anal explorer kit, which has two different sized dildos. Okay. Oh, right. We'll start it up.

And then a little bit bigger. Okay. So, I, I, this is a very, very, this needs to be discussed. This is not something you can, you know, pop on your partner. Right. Come out of the closet with a strap on. Right. Hey, Brian, tonight it's yours, you know, I'll give it a ton of stuff.

Well, this is what I want to do. So he really needs it. I want to break it down, because let's say he's like, okay, great. You know, we'll go to sports sheets, you know, all these products, you talk about, we'll get it. But then it's home.

And that's what I'm saying. He's like, well tonight, you know, what does she have to do? He's saying, you know, so she's not as nervous. What is that? She's got it. Walk me through the like, well tonight, you know, what does she have to do? He's saying, you know, so she's not as nervous. What is that? She's got to be prepared. Walk me through the like the experience.

Well, if you guys can maybe relate to this, that think about the first time you bring a new tool home, a new power tool or neutral, okay? You want to find out where the switches are, how to plug it in, if it's cordless, how the battery snaps into it, you have to familiarize. If you're going to use this tool to punch holes and wood or something like that, you want to have an idea. You don't just stick a brand new drill right up to a wall and pull the trigger and get great results.

You could do that, you eventually get the hole in the wall with the drill, but the thing is that the guys can relate to that. When I'm talking talking about is the woman has to, Brian's partner has to get it comfortable with the drilling. Get this product and I'm going to encourage it to get a sports cheese product because it won't break. It won't break your heart right in the middle of your skin. We make good quality guaranteed for life products. So it's important to get a good quality one. We have silicone dildos. And that does add that entire body safe. Right, but people, what about the process?

Like, she should wear it. You're saying take out the drill and plug it in. Like, you're saying she should wear it, walk around the house, and be like, do the dishes, and they're practicing with the peanut. Like, I've tried it. You're like, whoa, I've got this on. Guys, guys, take it for granted, because we were born with this thing.

Women have never worn, you know, if you've never put a strap on on with a dildo, a woman has never had anything like this, the weight, it just feels, you know, different. You want to put it on ahead of time. And if you're going to surprise, if you've already talked to your husband about this, you'll want to put it on before he gets home and do the dishes, make dinner. Really? So you're like, I'm kind of comfortable and you start like thrusting, okay? Yeah, and walk around.

I mean, strut. And then the other thing is that the woman has to practice thrusting or humping. Okay. Or does she practice on? The couch, the up pillow, or just actually moving her hips, when you've got the strap on on, you step into it, you pull it up your waist,

you pull the belt's tight, you tighten the leg straps, and you get it, so it's comfortable. You put the pad that's in front of the dild, and that's in back of the dild, and it's in front of against your pubic that's in back of the dild, the rod up against your pubic mound. And you have to position it carefully, so it doesn't crush your clit,

it doesn't hurt, it doesn't rip your hair, if your hair have any hair left. You want to find this out. It's like that, it's a whole other job. Check this out, if you still have hair and you're putting a strap on, and you start thrusting with it, it starts kind of like yanking your pubes.

Guess what? That is not going to be a good experience. So what do you do? Well, it's another. You got to put under on underneath it or something, no? You could, yes, you could do that. Right. When you really got one, I wish.

But if you want to keep your bush, putting it under where on is a great idea. OK. So it's kind of sligh. So you've got to watch out for the pubes. But these are the kind of things where I'm saying people like, I want to know how to actually do this So while the woman's getting used to wearing this

And she's got to teach herself how to thrust and I think most women would be more comfortable doing this by themselves Then I see partner true don't practice on because because the first time you thrust it's scary for a guy who Comes home, you know on our pegging date. Okay. You know, I'm going to get stuck at my ass tonight. The woman also has performance anxieties, just like men get performance anxieties. It's like, oh my god, I'm not going to be a person. Do they have a rectal dysfunction with the harness?

Okay. Well, women do, because, you know, I've seen ladies at these public shows like the sexual health that's more that you're going to go to. We've put women in this and you know, had like, Humping contest and stuff. And most women, I'd say 99% of women don't know how to hump. They don't know how to, how to throw their hips. Right.

Never have to hump. It's, it's not in their sexual repertoire. So you have to practice this because you don't want to feel, if you feel silly, if you feel silly. Okay. If you feel silly doing it If you feel like a failure, it's not gonna work for for the couple It's already something again We talk about laughter at the beginning like sex is fun like you might you're gonna laugh like you're not gonna be It's not gonna be perfect for something you might do something funny weird strange with it who knows and

Here's and miss the whole yeah, and here's the other thing is there is that there's no feeling in a dildo for a woman. The feeling she's gonna get is if the dildo's riding on her clit, it's gonna be pleasurable. But she's not gonna really feel that until she thrusts and you have some feedback from the guy's body. So if there's no feeling like a guy has, I know when I'm in your butt right I can feel yeah But when the woman's pegging she can't feel right is it in yet?

So you got to be looking you got to get the nutsack out of the way I mean, you know right right get a communicate and you've got to use a tremendous amount of loop more than you think is necessary Right, right, you know the guys got to have his butt loop right but does not lubricate itself You know they make anal shooters and stuff like that. And shooters. You can't shove enough lub up your butt with your finger tip. OK. I don't think. I don't think.

I don't think. I mean, so there's some prep in there. Because the guy doesn't want it to hurt. You know, the girl doesn't want it to hurt. Right. The guy certainly doesn't want it to hurt. So the guy needs to have a lot of lube in his anus and wreck them. Right.

Right. And then you can do this where I'd recommend with a guy lays on his back and pulls his knees up to a chest. Okay. And that way the woman can take a whole of his balls, his penis and play with his balls, play with his penis.

All right, because he's about to come on. But she's gonna have to put her hand down on her dildo and guide this thing right up to his anus. Mm-hmm. And then he's gonna have to probably, I recommend breathe, breath, but air down a little bit like he's gonna take a dump. Okay.

This is really, this is what I wanted these specific details. So, I'm gonna just be going home tonight with this. Yeah. And this flexes the anal sphincter muscle. Okay. And then the head of the dildo this flexes the anal sphincter muscle. Uh-huh. Okay.

And then the head of the dildo goes right into the, right into the genus. Okay. And then he relaxes. And she doesn't start thrusting right away. You just sort of let it sit there and let the guy breathe. Okay. And then, you know, obviously, if, um, in this particular position,

if she's got to, got them by the balls, she should have, right? She can play with her head of his penis, she can stroke him, jack him off with a lube that's still in her hand. And go very, very slowly and listen to him. That's fine. A lot of communication.

You know, okay, you can go deeper, you can go deeper. And the dildos that we have in our, in our kits are smooth you can go deeper, you can go deeper. And the dildos that we have in our, in our kits are smooth, they don't have ridges in them. Okay. Because the ridges at first are a little too much. Yeah, no, you really want to start like if you never, I would say the beginner kit, the explorer. It's smoother than your finger. Okay. And, and that, that is a really good way to warm up to, you know, before the dildo is fingers in the anus, but we're really talking about when you've got it on. And then not until probably it's all the way up to the hilt

and the guys like totally relax, does the guy say, okay, give me a little thrust. And you just pull out a little bit and see how that goes. And then she's like, you throw us. Okay. And now this is where the woman has to practice, because if she's not a good thruster, if she just sort of jerks her hips forward, all of a sudden, you know, you know, you, you

know, right. Yeah. Right. And that's why you got to be really gentle. Okay. And kind of know what that, you know, when you send your stroke, you got to know. I feel like I would understand what a guy goes through whenever, even though there's no feeling like all the work,

all the emails like if guys like I've never had sex, I'm so worried, but really this is the moment where you've got to be communicating and like I'm thrusting, does it feel good, communicate? Yeah, yeah. And then, hey, every moment you need to communicate a lot, obviously if you're in pain during sex, communicate all the time.

Communication is a lubrication. I saw that on your sign. No, I know, these are my top quotes. I mean, you know, I can only put three up. Okay, that's very helpful. I really liked that. These are my top quotes. I mean, you know. That's pretty good. I can only put three up. Okay, that's very helpful. Do we answer all Brian's question? Age 42 for me, Houston, Brian, I think this is, you get the expert here.

Yeah, I need to know. She's got a practice, put it on. Okay. Thank you. Also, give you a website again, sportsheets.com. Right. Cool. You can see all of them.

Exactly. Another email? Emily. First of all, I want to thank you for putting on an awesome show. I've been a long time listener and your show always seems to get better. Also menace, Craig's, like, Craigslist freak of the week is hilarious. Oh nice. Yeah. So if you don't know. I'm part of a morning show in Los Angeles called the Woody show on Altman 87. It's a I heart radio station station you can find on iHeart. But we do a segment on our show called Craigslist Freak of the Week. So we look for like the craziest ad you can think of. We pick three of them and then we read them off and then people vote on which one they think is the figure. So we actually did one today and today was, let me see, I have the list right here. I know one of them. I'll keep reading the email and then you can find it.

Yeah, keep on reading and I'll read it. Okay, so he loves you. Okay, anyway, my dilemma is this, my girlfriend's 26 and I'm 27. We've been an amazing loving relationship. We've been together for almost two years and we've been through a lot together. I almost died in a motorcycle accident last year. Oh, damn. That's tough. And our struggles have only made us stronger as a couple. The problem is our sex life is a delicious roller coaster. We go through periods of stellar sex and keep our heads up, can't keep our hands off each other to times like now, where we go for a few weeks and barely even tied to each other, let alone being intimate. Is there anything we can

do to avoid these ruts altogether thanks Tyler age 27 Texas. Tyler! Two Texans. A lot of that. A lot of what he showed listeners in Texas. Yeah, a lot of what you're doing. Okay, so we've, this is common, I think, in all relationships. You're going to, you're going to, you're going to, your sex life is going to

ebb and flow, you know, and realizing I like Tyler that you realize that you're in a rut and you're talking about it and you're emailing it to me. And it sounds like you guys still have a connection because at least you still have the ups and you got some downs. So like I always say talking about sex can be great affordies yet. If you guys have never actually even really talked about it and like, hey is there something that you've been wanting to try? You maybe you've been wanting to try. We'll get into like some good beginner things. Like maybe you've never been, maybe she's got a fantasy of being

blindfolded or you want to be blindfolded. You know, role playing, trying sex toys, sex outside the bedroom. I mean, we talk about, gotta go to our website and search. We've got a lot of tips for, you know, spicing up your relationship and different things you can try. But again, like, so I'm just saying, like, hey, and I know this might seem really hard to, like, you're like, put sex so as to be easy. We're not supposed to talk about it, and I can't tell you, like,

the couples that talk about it more do a better sex. And it could just start with, like, love the sex we're not supposed to talk about it, and I can't tell you like the couples that talk about it more do a better sex and it could just start with like Love the sex we're having together has there been anything you want to try? I mean you guys can take a piece of paper and write down things on your bucket list like three things you want to try This year, I mean really just getting it going and just the the the act of just talking about it and Experiencing with a few of these things or exchanging ideas will will get you on the right track And you always be like well, it's getting a little low right now. Let's whip out this tickler, something.

But what would you recommend, Tom, anything for sports seats? I don't even have a lot. But besides the bonded, is there anything that we haven't talked about that might be cool? To be like, let's try this, because if you got a bevy, I know I'm lucky. Thank you. Again, universe, but lots of toys choose from my house. Lots of things, but not even don't do anything. Thank you. Again, universe, but you know, lots of toys

choose from me. I was lots of things, but I mean, we'll do anything. Never started. They don't have things. So what would you recommend? Well, I think that for somebody like your emailer, who's Tyler, who's cycling on the roller coaster, I think that is pretty natural.

Like you said, you know, people who have a thing. Yeah, it is guys, it's fine. Yeah. And then you're not having sex, like you said. Yeah, it is guys, it's fine. Yeah. And then you're not having sex every night, every week. I think that's very natural. I think if both the couples want to have more frequent sex, but they just find themselves sort of in that valley, then it's time for sex date.

And you just call it. You say, if you haven't had sex in seven days, all right, three days from now it's our sex date. And then call it you say you know if you haven't had sex in seven days all right three days from now it's our sex date right and then you plan something around that yeah we yeah we did a great show about scheduling sex you can I think it was called scheduling sex it's a great podcast people really liked it because I used to think scheduling sex was like oh that's gonna take all the thrill I mean no it actually allows you to know that she's not on board I'm so on board of that so have a sex date and what do you bring well I jump into a store and if they've if they've never tried any restraints or bondage

I would start with a blindfold. Yeah, bring a blindfold on and if you don't want to buy blindfold Make one out of something and a lekti or whatever. Yeah, something something comfortable and and play some games You know bring in some ice cubes You know do some sensation things, and it's all for play. But if you schedule this, you can have a tremendous amount of fun. Right. I think for plays key. I mean, I'm always saying this too. What do I have? For plays start to the last orgasm. That's my other quote on the wall. No, but it is true that for play, I think it's just lost a lot in relationships. I think they just think

about that. It's the intercourse, but there's, you know, sex is fun. There's a lot of playing to do. There's a lot of fun. It's they just think about that it's the intercourse. But there's sex. It's fine. There's a lot of playing to do. There's a lot of fun. It's not just for us. I'm an oral sex and making out, but you'd actually have extended foreplay, which will get you both excited again and connected. And you know, one thing that I would recommend, and I think this works for a lot of people, is a blindfold and a set of handcuffs.

And it's not just because we make bondage. You know, it's certainly one of the advantages. But if you blindfold and handcuff your partner, they have no responsibility whatsoever to your pleasure. It's all about them. And so it takes that whole performance anxiety off one person, the person who's blindfolded or handcuffed, they don't have to do anything.

So nice. And it really sort of frees up that one partner to just go for the roller coaster ride of ecstasy. And I mentioned the ice cubes, a feather, a little tickler, something that it's absolutely liberating when you put a blindfold on. And you're a fan of your releasing control. You don't know what's coming next.

And if that doesn't get you going into it. Right, that'll do it. And just putting the blindfold on does, not only is it like this mystery, but it also, you take away one sense, like eyesight, then it makes everything else more heightened. And it's a freeing good time. Yeah.

And I love the idea about you writing down, you know, through your four bests. The bucket list. Yeah. That works. I hear people all the time, but like, thank you. It's a swap list. It's a swap list. It's good.

I never knew that you wanted to do that. I do want to do that. We'll do that after the show. And we're also okay. So thank you so much for being here. That's all we have time for. This is a amazing time. Oh, real quick though. Oh, you got, oh, you got, you got, you got, you're right.

Freak of the week. Freak of the week. Freak of the week. Yeah, so these were the things that people had to vote on. So number one was this guy who claimed he used to be a medical doctor and he can do medical-induced orgasms. Okay. He can come to your house, which was kind of creepy and scary. Then the other guy wanted to wrestle you and then worship your feet. So he wanted to wrestle you to the ground. Okay. And then like beat had his face. Worship your feet, right, exactly. Foot-patch.

And then the last one, the guy was just being an asshole. He just wanted, I want, I'm looking for a skinny girl. I just need a skinny girl and he had to be like some like twig or something like that. That's all I want. He was just gonna dig. Got it. But so that- Mostly the week is the most section,

you're saying freaks, usually sexual stuff. Typically? It doesn't, it doesn't have to be sexual now. There's maybe some times it's just, I want to be in a diaper. Craigslist is always good material. Yeah. Okay, thanks, Manus.

Well, thank you, Manus and thank you Tom. Yeah, can I throw out to your listeners? Yeah. There is a special little be on the internet. Oh, okay. I didn't even, Tom. Yeah, can I throw out to your listeners? Yeah. There is a special little B on the internet. Oh, OK. I didn't even know this. Yeah, and they can go on there and just type in the code Emily. And get 25%.

Oh, that's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. It's not free, but it's pretty damn close. No, that's good. That's amazing. And they can explain me. There's so many on there. It's so much on there.

And you can also email me if you need anything about it. And we're suggestions. This was great. I really wanted people to get into, rather than me just saying go peg go blindfold go Go cuff you're the man. I love hearing your story on how you started. I know that's okay And if you guys haven't seen the David Letterman clip you got to look that up on I'll grow David Letterman YouTube. It's amazing. It's still a memory. Yeah, it's amazing Thank you so much Tom sports you can find all the information on the website. Thank you, man

Is you can find them at menace and all those at menace M-E-N-A-C-E That's right. You can find me everywhere. Thank and all those. At Menace, M-E-N-A-C-E. That's right, you can find me everywhere. Thank you everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithmly.com. For more than 30 years, Vibratex has understood that giving women options means more than offering a variety of colors.

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