Sex With Emily - Taboo Sex Questions (You’re Too Shy to Ask)

Episode Date: August 3, 2016

Some sex questions are harder to ask than others, but have no fear! In today’s show, Emily tackles a few of your most taboo sex questions and provides judgement-free guidance to quell your concerns. Is swinging really the best way to get out of a relationship funk? Should you take a step back from your grieving online match? What do you do when your partner cites a vaginal odor as the reason for not going down? Emily and Anderson debate the best way to work through these issues and examine a study that reveals the real secret to being an expert lover—It’s a lot more simple than you might think! From unfulfilled fantasies to oral sex insecurities to a whole new kind of sexy stocking stuffer, this podcast makes your sexual satisfaction the #1 priority! Don’t miss it.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and this show we're getting to your most taboo sex questions. How do you get your partner on board with your freaky fetish tips for turning your swinging dreams into a reality and what to do when your partner won't go down? All this and more. Thanks for listening. You know what's so great about sex toys? They don't get jealous, they just want you to feel good.

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Lay it on today. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair understand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common? What do you mean like laundry?

It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm off here. I'm off here. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. God, there's so much to do there. Just makes my head spin in a good way. Spinning. Spinning. Head spinning. What up, Anderson? What up, Anne? I love you. Go to our website, subscribe. I can't emphasize this enough that subscribing to the podcast is actually makes your life easier because you don't miss a show. And what I just learned

from Anderson is that when you subscribe, you actually can stop and start the show. If you get interrupted, you can go back to the point that you left off. Keep your place. Keep your place. That's a good bookmark. Right. It allows you to bookmark. Otherwise, it doesn't. And also, yeah, and we get get to do to a week you get them in your inbox or wherever you listen you can also now download them and Spotify Google Play soundcloud all that stuff and also thank you all for subscribing and also yeah for following us on Facebook Twitter Instagram snapchat everything everything everything we love that and subscribing to the newsletter when you put in your email we send you

newsletters and people like love our newsletters and we also give you tips and discounts So if you missed off going on the website because you know we put out stuff every day You might want to read something if you don't time to listen We've got tips and tricks and all that so every day every moment of every day pretty much Emily's thinking about your sex health I am more than my own Because I'm a giver like that so also you could shop with Emily cuz I always talk about toys A wine sit down on the computer and go shopping and all the toys that I love you make oh Womanizer

Drunk and order stuff and then like three days later when it arrives like I don't have before like a gift for myself I don't black out, but I'll be buzzed. I'm kind of joking with the black out kind of You're not joking because you do get black out There's nothing better than like ordering having the balls to order something when you're really hammered and then it comes in It's like a little gift from yourself, and you don't remember what it is That happens to me. I'll be like oh my god. What's what I order from Arizona? I don't remember. It's great And rarely do you open it up and go ah shit. I don't want this almost always like ah thank god I thought this was good idea or I already have this that happens. Oh really? You're like I already have this zebra stripe deal though. I don't know. I don't know to those likely that's one

The job of getting a lot of it. Yeah, you don't have to order anything. It's true We've also had some great shows lately relationship recovery. Remember we did how to survive a breakup Yes, we had facts about breakups, who does the dumping more often, men or women, all this up digital, why should you take a digital detox? So if you're going through breakup, that show will help you. And yeah, also I wanna see you all in New York

because the sexual health expo is coming up again in New York, it's September 24th and 25th in Brooklyn. I will be there for the two days. It's the leading sex experts from all the world teaching really cool workshops about the things that you care about. Like how do you ever better a job or how to have an open relationship or how to talk to your partner about sex. Plus you'll see all that you know I'm always talking about cool new products.

Well, they'll all be on display there. So it's actually like, you're gonna have a big table. It'll be, it's not my table. Well, I will have a table, I'll have a booth so you know where to find me, but there'll be lots of different booths. So you'll be representing with your own little booth.

Dude, I have a banner. I got a banner. Yeah, I have this stuff with that one, that one, the whole thing. And I want to say, I can't take pictures of them and hug you. Kisses for a dollar. You know what's interesting?

Is that people say, like, they'll email me, they're like, oh, I saw you, but I didn't want to say hi Yeah, I'm always like please like whenever I because we're sitting here on the room like I don't I know like I'm very approachable. Yeah, she would love to hear from you I like whenever I'm not I'm gonna be like no, but I do I like oh my god. How'd you hear about it? I love it Let's hug No one comes up as a side of me. I used to see on Twitter a lot of time people would be like, oh, I saw Andrew standing here.

You're kind of, you see me. I'll find what that's. Still, dude, yeah, I know. But see, I, I, I didn't like it. See, it happens to me like everywhere I go, but when someone's like, oh, you, I'm like, yes, oh my God, how do you listen? Because I still am always like, wow, how do you,

you won't be disappointed if you see him in public. Well, if you see her, if she, go up and you'll be very relieved to find out the cheese exact person you're here on the show, right? Yeah, it's really not any different It should be kind of try to be some kind of persona But I don't have one and I also want to see right I wouldn't know how at this point in life I wouldn't know how but I got to say last year at Chee in New York It was actually like I was so blown away by how many more even so than the one in LA I had so many listeners shop and it would just made that's what I remember most so then the one in LA, I had so many listeners shopping. It was just made, that's what I remember most.

So. All the listeners, yeah. I wanna see them. I think so. Okay, so now. Without you, it would be nothing. It's true, it's kind of true. It's absolutely true.

If people did not listen to this show, I literally would be. You would be, what would you do? Well, my parents, you know, as you, you've heard me say, they were all like, plan B. Well, I did take the L.S.A. Just sell plan B, I go over the counter. I

take plan B. No, my parents were like, or my mom was like what? Because sex. What is your plan? You've never had a plan B. Okay, but I'm putting your feet to the fire. This falls apart. Sex becomes illegal to talk about. There's no revolution to join. What are you going to do to make ends meet? Right now No sexes off the table no sex Madison weighed in with thanks no cuz I am studying somatica training right? I'm doing a training. Yeah, I'm going to San Francisco to do this training I can't get into it now, but it's a whole thing

I'm learning so much less than Danielle.com. They've been on the show and it's called somatic institute And it's literally I haven't talked to you about this yet. I talked about it at Menace, sorry. I know you have a thing with him. But I've been learning, it's really, it's the most fascinating training I've done and I've learned a lot about myself and way to help others about, it's all about getting more,

it's about communicating with your partner around sex but like in a really smart way. In fact, that leads me into my next, my sex in the news article, what? We didn't hear the part where sex was off the table you'd have something sorry that was max Bravings, but I would be I would think I would do something professional golfer no crafty Like lead craft

No, I love making things scrapbooking with Emily no I do I think I would be a tour guide travel on the world. Okay. On a bike. I do that. I do that bike trips. Yeah. And I would do something athletic and I would lead bike tours around the world. Well, I could see that. I just felt that's my thing. Like through Athens. Yeah. Yeah. I could. Absolutely. Cause I like the energetic. Yeah. I'm fun. I can learn the thing. I can tell you where to go. Revoice projects. Yeah. Okay. You'd never lose me in a crowd so funny Matt and those had somatic up because I've got my sex the news ties right into this okay the

Secret to being good at sex so there was a study that came out and it totally spoke to me because and this is what the Scientist says is there's no such thing as someone who is good at sex okay Says the scientist you might as much well. Doesn't have much sex. Here's the thing, the constant demand for sex advice evidences a very human desire to feel sexually confident and capable. I would be out of work, writing bikes in Australia. But no one wants to be dumb at sex.

Wouldn't a embarrassing area of life to know nothing about, which is why people always want to know more about it. But people also, this is why people don't communicate about what they like or want to know about because they don't want to look stupid. So, but the thing is about the, I could give you advice to the cows come home,

which I do, but it's all about the person. So beyond the basic anatomy of knowing like what goes where, the best thing you can do to listen is to listen to your partner because what really drives sexual satisfaction is the rapport between two people. So in this study, they found that the rate of orgasm and enjoyment increased dramatically between the first hookup and subsequent encounters with women, which means that partner specific learning plays a role.

Well, because you guys are so different. Yeah, we're so different. And we know that it's awkward at the beginning, but it's all about like, because we feel safer and we can communicate to our partner about what we like. So use your words and talk about and communicate. This is what the study is about. Is that like, it reinforces like good behavior and like knowing your partner, like knowing what you're knowing what you like, like being good at sex means that you're paying attention to your partner and like knowing what you're, knowing what you like,

like being good at sex means that you're paying attention to your partner and that you're knowing how to communicate. And I can tell you this all, like, you got to communicate, you got to talk about it. And people are like, I don't know how to do it, but like that is really what it comes down to. Pay attention to it. Say to your partner like,

if they if you don't like what they're doing, tell them, if you like it, say I like that. I like when you do that, like let them know they're in the moment that feels good. I always say like, if they're moaning,aning that you know pay attention, but really this words, like that's a universal thing like that felt good. And I think that none of us want to feel the point of the study is that we not a lot of us don't want to feel bad at sex, so we don't want to talk about it because we're like, what if I don't know things? But the truth is the more you talk about it,

the more confident you feel and the better sex you will have. And the reason why this relates is because the thing about the somatica training I'm doing is just this really fascinating way to learn. If you're like, yeah, I get it only with my partner and I would never talk to him, I would be like, you're gonna go 20 years, I don't know, dude, dude.

This somatica, I don't know, anyone, everyone. It's like, I can't talk about it. It teaches you like It's a really it's a really dynamic way that will work for any couple and I can't wait to share it all with you And to do all how to get rid of the sex. Oh, yeah for isles so um Just turning a rapper You never know what I'm gonna. We've out

She's from Michigan from Michigan. Can I have some cream half and half in my D-Caf? Okay, we're gonna... We're gonna... You guys, you know how easy you guys have it for the ladies anyways, for the most part. Like if guys came with instruction manuals, like you'd read it the first or second guy, and then you just, you wouldn't even open the manual anymore.

You wouldn't look at the instructions. If girls came with instruction manuals, the first thing you do is you got to flatten them out on the table and really figure out how these things work because every single one of you is different. Every single one. So I build that for guys because you're never like, I got it.

I'm like, sex. It makes it adventurous and kind of fun. Like, oh, that's works. And that doesn't work. And it used to work on that. But at the same time, it's always a guessing game. It is. But it's guessing, but it's also paying attention games.

So if you're a guy and you're with a new partner, all the information's there. You can ask her, you can talk about it. Like, it's not like you got to go on your own, it's like spill-onking and hope you hit it right. You can like ask. You can really cave diving. That's the metaphor you used to cave diving. You guys just say like, we're on like, the giant thing. That's very simple.

You know what I'm saying? You're not alone in this guy's. You just, you gotta ask questions. You gotta talk, talk, talk. Hey, you gotta pay attention. You have to get it, Em. It's, you know, some people are just not comfortable talking about sex.

No matter how comfortable they are with their partner, they just, sometimes it, I don't know what, what emotion is, but it feels, it just doesn't feel natural for a lot of couples to talk about. But how does it feel like not having sex anymore because the sex, because you're not attracted to each other. You can agree that you can learn things without verbalize.

It's too, right? True. You can. It's great if you can verbalize. You have a kind of relationship, but if you can't, you're not dead in the water. It means just like, like just like moaning or snapping your fingers or something. Just like pain. Waving, you're learning sign language.

Pain attention is true. But I believe that everybody can learn whatever your communication style is, that it's imperative to grade sex. And that's being good at sex means that you are good at communicating. I'm excited to learn your secrets, your trade secrets that you're going to school for.

I know, I'm just waiting. So everyone's got to keep listening because I'm going to call you man. But first we're going to get a little bit of, a little bit of, so we're just really hot little, a little bit, a little bit of. And so we're just really hot. I'm gonna give a shout out to the sponsors because thank you for supporting them

and supporting the show. We'll be right back. By now, y'all know me pretty well. You know I love new experiences, but I have my favorite things that I always come back to because I know I can trust them. I can't think of a better example than the Magic Wand. If you've been listening, you might remember that I actually had a whole drilled in my

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no wonder where the magic wand is considered the Cadillac of all Vibers. If you don't own one yet, don't live without the Magic One another day. And if you do own one, you need to try the Retarge Ball. Go to sexwiththeemily.com and click on the Magic One banner to order yours. Alright, everyone. Thanks for listening to the show. We're on to your emails. Thank you for emailing me.

Feedback at sexwithemily.com. I feel like singing. I don't know why. Sex with Anne Mallorch. You can also leave a message now on our voicemail 818, ask SWE1. That's sex with Emily 1 or 818 2757931. We got some ground rules about that. You can read all about them on the website. Ground rules. What are the ground rules? The ground rules. Ready? Don't say hello. Keep your message to about one minute. Nice. Please don't include your last name,

or the names of anyone who's talking about it. And please do tell us your age where you're calling from. And just like with our emails here, tell us your age name, we can make up a name, we don't care, but where you live, how old you are, how you listen. All good stuff. That's helpful.

Now we can beat the picture. Right. Helps us. Like does. Really does. Okay. Hi Emily. First, good day from Down Under. Good day, mate. I have been an avid listener of your podcast for the past six months and I've greatly appreciated your advice and fun approach to all things sex. I've been with my girlfriend for six years and we are still as madly in love today as we were. We first met.

She's 27, I'm 31. We have amazing sex and still managed to find ways to spice things up. I'm emailing you for help regarding my fetish. Ever since I can remember I've been obsessed with stockings. Something about a pair of thigh-high stockings are socks and my brain into overload. The problem is my partner feels uncomfortable wearing them because she says she feels cheap and tacky. And it's hot enough, really. She is putting that all the time. She has put them on for me twice because she knows how much this means to me. However, both times she looks so shine and happy, which resulted in me feeling horrible for her once our playtime was finished. I told her she

looks sexy in them and she is so sure to me she and I sure to she looked amazing and not cheap. But I don't know what to do. obviously this isn't a deal breaker in any way However if I could help her feel comfortable in a pair of stockings or knee-high socks once a month I know I'd be even happier man than I already am any ideas or tips had helped me and her in the legged department cheers James Cheers, mate. Did they have classy ones like, well, that's what's in the side? Well, doilees, whatever is classy means to you, but I love that James, James, I love that you're able to express to her what you need. Like, I love that you're not repressing it and you're expressing it. And I totally get being in her position as well because she

might feel like it has nothing to do with her in a way. Like, here's my fetish, you put these on. So she might feel very disconnected from the experiences, and she's just kind of obliging. So what I think is like, what if you took her shopping to like an upscale like department store or something, and you got her wherever. She picked them out herself. And she picked them out. You tried them on, and you guys went together and then you made it part of the experience. I hate to say this, you ladies know, like if they got some expensive ones, like $60 stockings, that might make her feel classy. That's what I'm saying, James, right?

Yeah, more expensive, a little more money out of your pocket there, James. But that works. That sounds like if it's a fetish, you kind of require it, it's not going to go right. I get it, I dig that look. I like the short skirts with the, actually, you know what? The Asian Japanese a couple of years ago, I think it was a green day album I was hearing about. There's a new green day album coming out.

You know, that want to be punk rock band. And their their ad campaign in Japan was really inventive. They they were paying Japanese girls, essentially school girls, kind of how it goes To where the high that the high the high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high high Kind of smart and dudes were looking right there like your eyes are drawn there. That's really smart actually. Yeah I should tattoo some stuff there. No, I think it's hot. I personally find that that's a sexy look too I don't understand why but I totally agree I never had a schoolgirl thing. It's just the peeking of the just enough the little peeking. Yeah, it's weird I swear to God I never think I wasn't into that sexier than like a girl wearing a bikini

You know what I mean to me like I could see the entire leg there, but it's not as sexy if right it was like 90% covered I totally agree so I I mean so here's the thing I think that like and also like American apparel I don't know if you have that in the UK, but like whatever her style is like maybe the ones that you picked out You know, maybe they have like a weird seam in it. She's not in season again seam like they have the ones Oh seam in it. She's not in to do it again. Seem like they have the ones. Oh, seam in it. Seem in what not everything. They have weird seamen. Maybe the thigh eyes are trying to put on her old thighs. You've used on other girls. What's that? Yeah, that's it. We're semen on them.

Well, I'm just saying there's like everyone sells thigh highs and knee highs down. Like a lot of the urban outfit. Again, I think you're in white spot on. You take her to maybe get her something. Get her to panties whatever she wants something matches right and then you guys do it together she walks around and heals she feels good whatever it is and that's how I think you can make it happen make her feel sexy about it picking it out with you okay and say you know what you're lucky that my fetish isn't like beer can insertion because we're down here in Australia and phosphorus are really large and that would hurt so lucky it's just you know die

highs. True. Even though they don't drink fosters in Australia evidently they hate it. They know, but that's where it's from. Big ass cans. So what are you saying? He's if his if his fetish was like putting beer cans inside of her. We would be a problem. Yeah. Don't put anything inside her

that is not approved. Like uh, fosters big is what I was saying. Yeah. got it. Funny joke. There. I'm you missed it. It's hilarious. I see it myself.

As long as you're laughing, I got it. I just worry about the vagina and the beer can. That's all I could think about. Like, okay. Yeah, make sure that it's moving to the next one. Email. Hi, Emily. My girlfriend and I have been dating for a while.

And the sex is good, but it's grown to the same routine over time. I'm 51% to blame, of course. The issue today is that I've recently become interested in the two of us swinging with other couples. Nothing I've ever done before, but I've been obsessing and fantasizing about it in my mind so much that I really want to give it a try. It's not that I'm looking to sleep with another woman, that's part of what swinging it is I know, but the fantasy only works for me as a shared activity with the woman I love.

The thought of the two of us spending our intimate time together with the right couple or couples, and seeing my love experience pleasure is a huge turn on. For my part, I'm willing to try just about anything once. Her, not so sure. I really want to bring it up, but I love her with all my heart and the thought of shocking her with the suggestion concerns me. Still, fantasies aren't going away. They're only getting stronger.

Should I make the suggestion if so, how should I make the suggestion? After that, I don't know the faintest clue where one goes to meet couples, I'm just like changing accidents here with similar interests. And he thought you would have a wonderful love the show and never miss Rich. How old's rich Hands up. You look that's got it. We in heavily. Yeah, I don't see this is why I need your age people It does weigh in happily they've been dating for a while sex is good. So that's all I know Okay, here's the thing though rich

Um, I think he's treading in thin ice because what you said is that your sex life has been it could become routine And you're looking to spice it up with another couple not the right direction Like because I think it's time I mean I'm not saying you can't go there But I think personally that you need to turn towards your girlfriend and work on mixing up that routine first and Like again communicating with her maybe maybe she thinks it's gotten routine Maybe she does want to swing so for you just to have the first conversation about sex with her, maybe she thinks it's gotten routine. Maybe she does want to swing. So for you just to have the first conversation about sex with her being like, Hey, baby, we should swing. Let me tell you what she's going to think.

You hate having sex with me. You're no longer trapped in me and you want to beg the neighbor. So that's what she's going to think. Probably not going to be that far off. If we're being honest here, I know that you've been nice, but I know. He's like, I just want to see my love with someone else. But let's be honest, it's routine and you want you can't stop fansizing about another couple. What do you think? Because it, but... I know. He's like, I just wanna see my love with someone else, but let's be honest, it's routine and you can't stop fantasizing about another couple.

What do you think? Cause you're a woman over there. Hi, sure. You think that you can be turned into a singer if you're a lady? I think all guys naturally lean that way. Yes. And...

I do think so. I think that you can open your mind to it. I think if he wants to have this kind of relationship, he needs to go out and find that girl, cause I don't think there's many of them. And I don't think he can create one if he does. I think she's somewhat a victim. I don't think- Interesting.

That she's going to do it willingly. She's the only reason why she would do it is because she wants to keep him and she thinks that's her only option. Which is not a good way to do it. Right. It's not a good way to do it just to keep your pride on just like you shouldn't have a baby. Not in the looking- Yeah, that's what ladies do. Like, hey, you get knocked up to keep the dude around.

Yeah, just getting knocked up, they's what ladies do. Like, hey, you get knocked up to keep the dude around. Yeah, just getting knocked up, they have a three something like, thank, neither one's going to save your relationship. So that's a good question though, Anderson. Like, I don't know if you're like, I've always thought, I could see swinging like if I was, or I could see being in open relationship. Yeah. That's the wrong girl.

You did as the wrong girl. However, I think that there's a lot of people who are in long term relationships who are like, you know what, we were together a long time. We were on really solid ground, and I never thought I'd be into it, but we went to a party and it was fun. So I think people do change over time. So I'm not so sure that, like,

once you say, noticing that you might not be open to it later. However, I feel like that what you're saying here, Riches, you're not so sure, and that if you, if you, that she'd be into it, and again, you think it's routine, she probably if you that she'd be into it, and again, you think it's routine, she probably thinks it's routine. And I would just start saying, babe, I love you.

Like, like, I would start with like the sex talk. A lot of ways to fix it up. And Emily, you come up with ways every episode pretty much. On ways to spice up your sex life. Right. Rarely does it involve bringing other people into the relationship. And a very wise person once told me,

I'm a man who's older than I am. And he's got a very successful relationship. He suggests he told me that the white intimacy and monogamy is so important. The intimate part of a monogamous relationship is because that's, you share everything with everybody, but that's the one thing that you only share with that person. That's true. That's that's what keeps the bond so strong over the years. And you immediately lose that if you start bringing in strangers to that part of your life.

That's interesting. Yeah. I think a lot of people feel that way. But as a man, I get it. I think I said to you, like the man's ultimate fantasy probably is having sex with a woman every time he thrusts, she becomes a different woman. Every single time she becomes you want you know a variety That's what that's what that's how we're wired But you find the right woman. Maybe she's not the right lady for you But I hate the idea of him coercing her down this road if she doesn't want to right and I think you guys are there yet There are ladies out to the dig it right But I think that first if you really do lover you got again

You got to turn towards her try to work on it first, who knows? Maybe her fantasy is the same as yours. I don't know, but it sounds like you're going in the wrong direction here. So that's what I say, Rich. And I don't know about Anderson's writer, wrong like she might be into it. We don't know yet, because I doubt you've been talking to her about it.

But again, that's interesting. I'd love to hear from some couples. You and I would love, I'm going to put a little thing out there. If you are in a relationship right now, and you are in an open relationship or swinging, and you're like, God, I never thought I'd be here, but you both are down with it and you love it. You know me. I want to know feedback sexlet me.com

All right, ready? Mm-hmm. Next one. Mm-hmm. About oral sex. Mm-hmm. Okay. What? Do you got more to say to Rich? Do you feel incomplete?

I mean, I look... Anderson's gonna lose sleep, so please talk. No, I'm not gonna lose sleep. I've, you know, growing up and having girlfriend, I've had the girlfriends that would have, you know, gone down that road and they have sex with me and their friends to keep the relationship going even though they don't want to. And I looking back on that, I feel like those girls were victimized by me. And I feel bad about it, You know, like, they didn't want to and then you still dumped them

in their way. It wasn't their idea, you know, they, did they ever come to you and say they regretted it? No. No. I didn't know. Maybe it's like their great stories like, yeah, I don't know three so much of this dude.

I could tell Dureen, they're like, I just kind of spendin' some time. Why are you cuddling this, Dureen? I just, I don't like the idea of, a lot of time I think women do, go way out of their way to please their man I do so too. I mean he more with all the quality and all these this Movement of women's rights and all these the latest movies and Hollywood over the last year and a half have always had They're trending to have strong feed Mad Max was all about a strong woman at the center of it, right?

But still I think in relationships they get walked all over A lot of women do and that's why I hope they listen to the show and know that that that their sexual pleasure and They're they need to know what feels good to them and be able to express that and ask for it and Especially with Tinder. I mean tinders just making all these girls like feel like they have to perform like porn stars to compete It's not just tinder. It's everything, but I I mean God I hope that I hope that people a God tell all your friends listen to to the show. If you like any episode, just send it to them. Because I think this helps.

I don't think that we encourage that at all. And anyone who thinks that doing something that a guy asks you to is going to make them like you more, because if you don't want to, that's not the way to go. So, consensual sex, check in with yourself. I think it's much better to know if you want to do something rather than be forced to do something. I just don't, I don't know. I might be right, but I hope that it's there.

You're a little more liberated than most, I think, you know, than the general population. So, oral sex. Okay. Do you have any, um, your, we're hot, should we turn the air on again? I'm okay. Okay. For the sake of the listener not hearing the air AC, I see you guys sweating balls. Powerful.

Because so you don't have to hear there. I want to start by saying I've listened to your podcast for five months now And it's changed my life. I'm someone who's always been a little sexually timid But through listening to your podcast I've learned so much about myself and I become much more comfortable loving myself I'm also a fellow U of M Wolverine go blue what happened. She's a fellow you have a little Wolverine The blue and the gold blue and gold. Yeah, she said go blue Hail to the Vic that That's our song.

Okay. Let's put those little yellow stripes in the football helmets. Yellow. Why? Yellow and blue. What do you mean? Why? Why? They're so weird.

Was it supposed to be like a cage on the helmet? Yeah. Oh, are we the only ones? Is there enough stuff in their helmets? It's weird and abstract. I don't like it. That's why you wear so good. Why do you put some more Marines on the stuff?

Go blue. Ready. Okay. I've been with my boyfriend for eight months now. Not only is he very skilled in the bedroom, but we are very much in love and hope to eventually end up together. There's just one problem. He rarely goes down on me. Our sex life is amazing, but stop. But oral sex has been something I've really enjoyed in the past relationships, and after listening to your podcast and hearing how strongly you feel about guys who don't reciprocate oral sex, I finally confronted him about it. Check this. I told him I know it's not his thing, but it's

something I hope we can compromise on. His answer shocked me. He said, babe, it's not that I don't like oral, but I've got to be honest with you. You have a very strong odor down there compared to other girls I've been with and it's unpleasant when I try to go down there. I've never gotten this feedback from otherwise. I know there are about a million reasons why someone might have serious vagina stink, hormones, infection, working out, etc. But I really don't know what I can do to fix it. Do many suggestions on how I can improve my hygiene or make my V smell better. I'm really little embarrassed to be asking but I'm hoping this problem has an easy solution. What was your last name again? Love you so much. Can't wait to your feedback.

Love Melanie 24 and Albert Michigan. I listen to the podcast and iTunes. Melanie poor Melanie got the worst possible scenario for ants. Yeah. That's worse than that's way worse than him saying. Yeah, that's just I just don't do that. Right. Like the guy I broke up. It's against my religion. I will never do go down there. Okay, but that would be better than you stink. Right. That's why Melanie you are very brave and I love that you asked this and that he was honest with you. And so there's a lot of reasons that this and this could have to do with like an infection or something else going there. So I say your first stop is to your gynecologist. A lot of women like that you could have like a bacterial infection or something that is not be you know cleared up. So I say that's your first stop. I know. I always suggest that before sex like women like go to the bathroom, take like a warm cloth and put some you know so wipe down, make

sure that you're okay but a lot of times that won't that won't do it. So I'm assuming you're already doing that. And so all I have to say is it could be, go to the gynecologist, it could be like a lot of women too ever, like they take vitamins or supplements. That could kind of change things down there, or the food you're eating, what you're reading to say. It's a complicated area,

it's a complicated. A lot of things come and go and, it's true. It's fixable though. It is. And if your gynec goes down and then he immediately comes back up and then goes back down after he puts like those little rub stuff that they used in signs of the lambs when they're

working on the dead bodies, that's a problem. You know, you got a real big problem then, but he's going to, or he or she's going to be able to fix you, right? I don't think a guy in college has ever found a smelly vagina that he couldn't fix or she couldn't fix. Right. A guy, I don't, yeah, I think that's your first absoete. I think that this, you're 24 years, and also it could be like hormones.

Maybe you are on the birth control that is messing up. I don't know what it is, but this is what your doctor can help you with. So I just thank you for being brave, and I love that the podcast has been helping you with your sex life, and I think you guys are loving each other,

and I actually liked that this guy was so honest with that. Yeah, it's good that he was honest with you. What if he wasn't? You might have an actual issue that could actually, I know it sounds the same, but down the road, it's good that he was honest. What if he wasn't? You might have an actual issue that could actually, I know it sounds the same, but down the road, it could affect your fertility. So it's good that you're nipping this in the butt

and go get it checked out. And hopefully it's something that gets an easy fix. You're probably all back on your feet. Now, worst case scenario though, she gets all, you know, gets the okay from the guy know goes back to him and he still says the same thing. Then you realize it's just an excuse. There is a good point too.

You can go to the guy. No, the guy knows that you're good to go. You're fine. Yeah, he sounds like an honest nice guy in there in Michigan. Those are only good people there. Really, really? Or he could be just a real dick and he hates the idea of going down on her and he just wanted to say something that would really scare her off of the whole idea.

I'm taking like a guy over here. You are. I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're so here. This is what we need penises in the house. He could be this guy. He could be this guy. He could be that guy. Okay, well soon to find out Melanie Kimi posted

on the vaginal area. The vaginal. I would love to know. Emails with Emily. Hey Emily, I just started listening to your podcast and I love it. I want to ask you about my current situation. I'm 21.

You're fucked. Living in Boston, Massachusetts. And I started talking to this guy that I matched with them, Bumble. In the beginning, he was really sweet to me and said he couldn't wait to hang out. But two weeks into dating, his dad passed away. He kept being really sweet to me

and would talk to me about his dad and see how much he appreciated me talking with him. But once we went on our first date, he told me he doesn't want anything serious because he doesn't want to be tied down. I didn't have any expectations at the time because it was so early, so I decided to keep talking and hanging out with him. But now I have feelings for him, told him I can't have any expectations at the time because it was so early so I decided to keep talking and hanging out with him

But now I feelings for him told him I can't do this anymore And he said he stuck in a bad place haven't talked to him for a few days Do you think it's bitchy of me to stop talking to him when he's going through his grieving process or is it smart for me to protect my feelings? Samantha It's a good one. No, it isn't really good one. There's one answer to what what? Yeah, well It's a good one. No, it is a really good one. There's one answer, too. What? What? Yeah. Well, well, yeah.

You're going to do him any for me. No, she's, you're doing the right things, Samantha. Here's the thing. I get it. You're being compassionate. You're caring. You're like a lot of women and men. You're like, care.

Like I would be the same way. That's right. But it is just timing. Relationships are so much about timing. And I think you've been there for him as much as you can right now But you got to take care of yourself and you're lucky because he told you he's not ready to be for a relationship right now And obviously grieving is really really hard. I my dad died in college. You know how old a shade like he's not even 21 right when I was 20 and I was in a relationship and I ended it and I needed to be a little it's a very hard time

So right now he's not even you don't even know who this guy is You're gonna be falling in love with someone. You're just being a different, and you're not doing him any favors by hanging around. And also, here I am thinking like the guy, and you got confirmation that this guy actually has the dead. You met him on Bumble. This might be his line that he gets every sec. Oh my God, you think I've got it?

Could easily be. I could see guys out there for sure. You're just making me like really, really understand. This is how guys work. I could, especially if they're on like a Bumbleble or which is kind of like a hook up a bit Where I would last do a little to a little dig and see if there is even a dead dead I don't even think like this because I might not be but there probably is okay But either way leave this guy to get out. Let me test me out that you're so sweet for like

But I think yes, you got to protect your feelings. He told you what he needs right now And the sooner you move away from him the easier it will be for to date. And all I got to say is it's only been, it sounds like it's been a few weeks or a few months and he told you exactly where is that. So grieving is tough and it's not the best time for me to date. I can tell you firsthand someone dies. It's like when you're that age and college and your whole life is horrible. Life. Next 20 years. Major life changes and early in relationships is very odd and I hate to admit this But I ended up with a girl for probably about eight years probably seven and a half years too long because

Like on our third date I broke my back and she was there for like the whole horrific All the things that happened afterwards taking the emergency room I was in the hospital for 10 days major surgery and, and she was there, and then I could, I had a cane, I could barely walk for like six months. She was there. We weren't good together. We were horribly toxic. Eight years, you stay with her.

We ended up being together for eight years. And you kept going like year six, I can't stand her, but she carried me to the hospital. If I didn't break, have such a life altering night on our second or third date, I don't think that we were made up beyond six months, mate. Wow, I understand, I don't know about that. Really. Yeah, you got to be careful of these like big real big life-changing moments when you're new and fresh in relationship, and I think that she's doing the right thing for sure.

I think you're told to do the right things, sweetie, but I think that says you asked and time we've gotten I'm sure he's got friends to greet with and see when his dad died. If he died. Google it, see if he's lying because every guy apparently is lying. So thanks for confirming that. Now we gotta go. Yes. But Anderson, what's in your world? Groupers of the movie.com, that's my main passion right now. That's my entire life and all the shows that I do,

everything that I do has been leading up to me making a future film. Really. More than half my life, I've been trying to do this and resistance has gotten in the way of art tends to kind of be elusive at times, but I'm actually pulling the truth. I know I'm really proud of you. And I need the help of listeners. I got a lot of fun like swag and stuff that I'll be selling. Yeah. And making parts for the crowd funding that will be

probably launched in September. But if you'd like to be kept abreast and know what's up on the whole scenario. Groupers, the groupers, the movie.com and give me your email and then I'll add you the list. Thank you very much guys for doing that. Yeah, appreciate it. Thank you, and also we like getting your email too That's a piggyback on you, but we do because it's fun and we send newsletters. Yeah M M gives back as well, but also I didn't mean to do that I'm just talking about Cinematics I talk about movies every week on cinematic and the film vote but

Okay, I love you. I know you got to go I didn't make good you know I do love you I love you Madison thank you so much for being an amazing producer thank you Laurie thank you for having me and anything else I don't know I have everyone enjoy the summer love you all thanks for listening was it good for you email me feedbacks at Family. Email me at the backexcessivefamily.com [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ Lube. You know I never stopped talking about it. And for good reason.

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