Sex With Emily - Talking Dirty With Jake and Amir

Episode Date: February 1, 2015

On today’s show Emily welcomes Jake and Amir, the hilarious BFF’s known for their popular CollegeHumor webseries and advice-giving podcast “If I Were You”. They provide commentary and a male perspective on a variety of topics, from sex toys to stamina to sexting like a pro, and even assist Emily in answering some listener emails. But first, Emily gives the sex toy newbies their vibration education. Between the Dua by Je Joue to the wireless Oh-Mi-Bod, Jake and Amir ponder the possibilities of playing the field via bluetooth sex toy technology. Emily and the guys share their own experiences with sex and dating in Los Angeles, and discuss the importance of keeping your independence while in a relationship. Then it’s on to your emails! Emily and her guests help a listener draw the line between dirty and degrading bedroom conversation, and gives a lesson in sex toy etiquette to a single man with multiple partners. If you’ve ever wanted to step up your verbal seduction but don’t know where to start, get ready for a crash course in Dirty Talk 101. Emily gives advice for a listener looking to improve her sexting game, and Jake weighs in with his texting expertise. Talking dirty is like a dance -- Jake, Emily and Amir are here to teach you the moves.  This show provides a random (but funny) array of sex and dating tips that will both amuse and advise you. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

If you follow me on Instagram, which lets face it, you probably should. It's at Saks with Emily. You've probably seen lately that I've been rocking a very unique piece of jewelry in a lot of my pictures. And you've heard me talk about it on the show, but I cannot take this thing off, and it's not because it's a vibrator. I'm obsessed with my newest sex toy. It is the Vesper by Crave.

It's a gorgeous necklace, first of all. I wear it, I forget it's a vibrator sometimes, I just wear it to layer pieces, but it's a twist, it's wearable technology. And so it's got like style and pleasure, and it is powerful, let's just talk. You don't just want a vibrator that looks good, that's not powerful, it's powerful, it's discrete.

You can wear it to a classy dinner, you can wear it over your boyfriend's girlfriend's house and just say, hey, look what I got. They wouldn't even know you had a vibrator on your neck and they're beautiful. Everywhere I go people are like, that's a really beautiful necklace. I'm like, oh, by the way, it's a vibrator.

I've never seen anything like this. I'm telling you, if you're looking thinking about Valentine's Day, this will be a hit with every single person woman. And man, I know Mendy wear this too, on the planet. It's the biggest buzz, no more intended, in the sex toy community. It's easily rechargeable by USB port.

USB port, it's so well made. I charge it on my laptop. So it's like elegance, pleasurable. It's your don and don, get for Valentine's Day or for anyone that you love that you want to see have a really good time. So go to love crave.com and use code Emily for free shipping. Check it out and check out the pictures.

I mean, you just, I don't even know how to tell you. I'm obsessed. I love it. And you will too. Thanks for listening. I'm a man of specified sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bitrified, they call them in a bygone day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common only? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. And we not talk about sex so much.

Are you kidding me? Oh, my god. I'm off your cell, I'm so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just playing with. Are we rolling? Yes. Sounds good.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We have the funny BFFs Jake and Amir. And they have a web series on Caled humor and a podcast. If I were you and they're just all around funny guys, Jake and Amir.com, check it out. We're going to be giving you advice on a variety of topics tonight. Sex, dating, relationships. And you're going to get a little more of the male perspective.

So thanks for listening. I'm sorry about being okay. I was really on time. Yeah, I'm just waiting to talk. Yeah, okay. 10 years. No, but I've been thinking about the 10 year thing. Like, it's, I started my podcast 10 years ago and then we were on CBS Radio in 2006. Is that the year you started?

So it's, I mean, 10 years of the show and then not, you know, and I think that's just, you know, we got, remember we used to say like show 69, we're going to have a drinking show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We never did. And then we're like, one 69 and now we're like 2000 shows and I think that's just you know we got remember we used to say like show 69 we're never drinking show yeah yeah we never did and they're like one 69 and now we like 2000 shows and I just think we should do something fun like you have the drink and hour shows and no we should be wait well we were yeah we were really drunk that one time we were doing a live show on serious yeah and playboy was it or no yeah and we got really drunk really drunk we thought we so funny. We have us back for a drink Yeah, yeah, I think I think who is a little better when they're a little buzz right? We've got a couple drinking shows

Yeah, you like wasted funny. No, we're like happy drunk. Are you funny? Are you think when you're drunk or not? I definitely more confident Well, that's a thing no filter like I already have no filter, but then I have no filter. Yeah, it's the last of a filter. The last of a filter. So then, it's really good. But I'm sorry, I was, there's a thing. All right. I try to get here, you know, I try to be on time

and the friggin' bathrooms, okay, so we're the podcast one building where we were recording. And they took the beautiful bathroom right next door that they just took down. You walk in there, it looks like you're gonna fall into construction hole, because there's like no floor. And everyone was trying to send me, as I ran on you said that way.

I ran in my five-inch heels. I fell down, there's a FedEx guy. And like, where's the bathroom? And then at the same time, I had a wardrobe malfunction and like my bra popped open and then my bag, that's what happened before the show. Oh, no. And so I'm sorry that we're starting a little bit late.

But what a good day for the FedEx guy. Yeah, but the whole bathroom thing, and then I just felt bad. I lost the moment already, because you guys are, you guys are here, and I just felt bad, because I didn't, you know, you guys are really just let your hair. No, we're happy to be here. And I don't like being, you know, late, because I have, like, I have to pee, and there's no bathroom. Well, I also was late, because I got here.

You were late. Yeah, it went downstairs to pee. Did you have the same issue though, finding the bathroom? My penis fell out when I was talking to the FedEx guy. Yeah, that's why he looks so scared. That was it. Oh my God. Okay, so Jake and Amir, Mattis one rather tough. We don't have anything. Yeah, does hurry up with what you have to say and then I want to talk to them. Okay. You guys have no idea. not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not. You're not.

You're not. You're not. You're not. You're guests. That's her. You're deflecting. That is totally you. We are siblings. Except for, yeah, we are. I'm going to let you do your thing. Let me go fix something. Yeah, go do your thing. I'm nothing. I was just going to say that I'm doing, oh, okay, so this is what you guys have to do. I have a survey. Do are gonna survey in your podcast and ask people are on your life or like your show It's taking a mirror dot com. Oh, sometimes we'll we'll do something like that and ask people to like weigh in on Twitter Yeah, so like I've been doing this for a while. I didn't survey maybe five years ago, and I was like, you know

You don't tell me I'm thinking like what what do you like what don't you mean? It's just what people listen to it y'all like it But I want to know we just post a survey today It'll take you like two minutes and I know you're like on Facebook for like ten times at about and it'll really help us improve the show So we're just asking you questions like you know what you like what you don't like I can totally take it if you don't like medicine understand um and also we're giving away like Bringing cool prizes like sex toys like gold necklace, like, vest bar by the way. I really, I genuinely only do one of those.

Is that so cool? No, I'm serious. It's the best, it has to be long enough. Oh, God. Is that supposed to be long enough for you to use while you wear it? If you're super acrobatic and can lean down,

no, you don't know. Wow. Do you want to play with it? So there's that, and so fill out our survey. We're going to be tweeting it out, sex with Emily, it's all sex with Emily across the our survey. We're gonna be tweeting it out, sex with Emily, it's all sex with Emily across the board. And minus we'll retweet it,

because he's nice like that. And I'll also live on our website, and I'm hosting what, oh my, I co-hosting the podcast awards, I'm giving them my vibrator while I'm talking, so that's hard. I've never actually done that before on the show, played with a vibrator, and I've actually have.

Oh, that is nice. So I'm co-hosting you guys, the podcast awards, I just found out in Vegas with Dennis Miller. Well, that one's nice. Yeah, so maybe we'll give you an award on that. It has different vibrating settings. No, it can't be. No, it pulses.

It, like, on. Oh, wow, very fast. I wish I brought the charger to show you because I'm like kind of a technique that I'm like, I can't believe you just unscrew the top and you put it in. Imagine it's going to be so freaking cool. It's going to be a wireless Bluetooth. Well do you know about these vibrators now? Bluetooth? Yeah. Oh okay so there's all these so that's all I want to say. Yeah. Because people that fill out my survey if you love me and you care about the show if you hate the show. What? The hell? You want to hear from you. And that the podcast awards. Oh, and then there's a thing where you can vote for us for the podcasting

awards. And these guys are podcasts you can vote for Jake and Amir as well. Vote for us. Are we up? Are we nominated? I think that it's a people have to nominate you thing. So they just sent me a link saying, Hey, do this. So wherever you see it, like the vote for all of us because we're doing podcast and it's really fun. We never got like rich. Well, you guys just asked about Bluetooth. So last week she was talking about how there's actually remote vibrators now. So let's say you have a girlfriend in Tennessee. So here here in LA. Yeah. You can actually control the vibrator on your phone. Yeah. There's an app for it. So I could get

my girlfriend off. Yeah. So far. You're on the phone. I'll show you guys after. There's one by um it's by, there's one by, well, just coming out now, the duo by Jésus, who I love. And then there's also, oh my bod, whatever. So you, oh my bod, I can not believe these vibrators. And we vibe to makes it, that we vibe for plus. So there's an app you download from your, whatever.

And you connect with your partner, she has the app, he, I don't know, you guys are straight, but I am. I can't speak for nobody. She has the app, he, I don't know, you guys are straight, but I am. I can't speak for no reason. Then you could be in a long, you could be in a long, it's a relationship, you could be in the next room, you could be in the office,

and then she wears, she has the vibrator on and you like text her, hey, let's start some vibing. And then on your phone, it's like up, down, left, you can control the vibrator. Can I, can my phone be connected to multiple vibrators? Oh, I've got a girlfriend in Tennessee. And a girlfriend in Washington state, one in Chile, like... Right, they'll be like, why are you vibing me now?

We didn't have a vibe day till 8 p.m. Yeah. I got it. No, you actually can, but you can only have to link up with one person. I think you have to download the app again or something. Oh. I don't know if you can add different accounts, but several people asked me this. So is everyone just fucking fucking ever I just believe in

polyamory so do you really not really no you don't believe in it or you would never be able to I don't oh I've tried to practice it and it was a failed experiment yeah I just see with you or you or it's not for everybody it's not for everybody but some people you know it does work for it's just go it's like the largest swinging polyamory it's groovy it's I'm like, it's San Francisco. It's like the largest swinging Hollywood. It's free, it's groovy, it's fresh, it's now. Oh, god, you're a grandfather. Also, I think they're working on doing stuff

with the Oculus. The virtual reality. Yeah. And having hooked up in different areas with you and your girlfriend. Oh, really? Yeah. No, it's cool.

So tell them about the attachment with the fleshlight. Oh, OK. So do you guys know what a fleshlight is? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you want one? Yeah. Actually, I just, I got rid of a fleshlight,

a couple years ago. I tried it out. You didn't like it? I liked it. It was just too, it was so big. Right. OK. So here's their new one, fleshlight go.

It's in a can. It's in a hot and necklace. No, I. It's in a can. I just actually I'm wearing one right now. I'm a little bit. I'm a little bit. Thank you. So okay, so flesh like it's supposed to be like play on like flashlight. Yeah, you know what the flashlight male masturbation sleeve. Yeah, uh, because guys only have their hands right so they're like, well, make a sex.

So men can put in the can't you put a little lube in and you masturbate and it simulates the sensations of real sex. But the other one, they get a lot of more big. This is the flesh like go, which is coming out soon. And the flesh light. Flight is also lighter weight. So I'm gonna give you one of the light. You don't actually need the actual like the flesh light part of it.

All you need is this little sleeve. Yeah, but you just wash out after you masturbate into it. Cool. The flashlight thing was to make was to sort of disguise it. Exactly. But it didn't just, it still looks like something. That is so a male masturbation to you. It did look like a flashlight.

Right. But the new one does. That's cool. Anyway, so the flashlight, why are we, oh, so the male, oh, the so flashlight just came out with a new toy. That I know. Do you want this one too? It is, it looks like a hollow penis.

So in your art nurse, we're speaking of wireless. So pretend that I was dating all of you. No, one of you, we were connected and there's an app. And I could start, I would have the hollow penis and use my finger on it. And I could be stroking your penis and you'd be having some kind of technology and you were at my rate too, right?

Matt says that one. So you're stroking the fake penis, but it's like. Stroking you. God, in the exact same way. Yeah. Holy shit, that's cool. Right?

Do you just come to my office because it's like a sex toy factor? Yeah, definitely. Come to the, it's shopping back. You told them about the iPad attachment though. Like it sits on top of the flashlight. The flashlight. So then there's another one. You guys were just going to say

what's the next one. It is a um I like for the eye if you're watching the iPad oftentimes men look at their phones say or an iPad when they're masturbating I've heard. And so it has a attachment underneath it and you can stick the flash the flashlight in it and then you're holding your up and then you can be like holy shit. So so you're fucking your iPad. Yeah, wow Yeah, they have different videos and stuff like that. There was a lot where like somebody's like fucking Yoda It's crazy. Oh my goodness. What's it called again Madison the the launch pad? Yeah, can they're gonna grow up with the strangers? They are already our porn is completely

It's crazy. So look into that. They don't have just steal magazines from my father's office. That was how I Yeah. their time. I'm stealing. I had to I took my iPad without any attachment. You saw me the other day. You put your your dick in the head. The head phone jack.

You had a plan. The genius bar. Yeah. Well I said I got into myself and do a sticky situation and he sort of understood what I was talking about. Oh my god. That's hilarious. So yeah, there's a lot of stuff going on in sex toys.

Yeah. So we saw that I was last, this is a big sex month for, so there was a sex toy conference. January. Yeah, exactly, big month. Who knew? Menace, you dying to talk, what are you going to say? No, I was just, well, I was going to move on into your just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just, I'm just was actually a live, blind Tinder date on my show. Oh, oh shit.

Yeah, I do my show before love line usually in the studio and they all met and beforehand, we had wine like we used to do at the station. How was it? It was a real date. Well, the podcast live date was good. Like I liked them there, but you know, you're sort of in a weird, like I won't remember.

Do you remember everything that you say when you're on your show? No, it's like this weird open zone. Right. You feel very comfortable and free. Exactly. And people were like, oh, you said this or that. And I'm like, did I say that?

I don't even remember. So anyway, it was a nice date. I felt present and connected to him. Right. And I liked him. And then we went on a second date. And I didn't want to kiss him when we got out of the car. And I think it's a pretty clear sign.

He's like, you're clearly not into me. I'm like, no, you're awesome. You're just sweet. Well, it's nice that he said that. It's nice that he said you're not into me. I know you're awesome, you're sweet. Well, it's nice that you said that. It's nice that he said you're not into me. Yeah, he's like, oh, if you don't want to kiss me. Yeah, he didn't really say that, but he kind of was like, okay, I got it.

I'm out. I never heard from him again. But I like Tinder just to show people, but I'm not showing you. I'm not on it right now. How come? But because I actually don't have a lot of time, I would start finding matches on there,

and then I forget to get back to them. I think they were cute guys too, and I was mostly losers. But you're hooking up with your career. I know. But it's been a really long relationship. Like we're already I'm almost already like I think it's time to break off. No, I love my right. I'm your single. Are you? We talked about this. Yeah. So do you how do you like actively single like are you out there trying to find someone? I'm out there trying to find some two not necessarily some ones. Excuse me. I'm looking for a three-zone. No, no, no, no. I'm not looking for a relationship.

You're not looking for a relationship. You're looking for casual, sex, friends with benefits. Yeah, that kind of stuff. Okay. I found that I'm really into like the first three dates. Well, that's the best part. That's the best part of the entire relationship. You can never get that back.

So that's why this is one only three dates from the one. It's like cocaine or drug. If you've ever done any kind of drug. I have only done the three dates thing. All I've said before, I love drugs. You guys love drugs. Okay, so those first three dates are sometimes they call it the first like three months of any relationship. Three to six months, the honeymoon phase, when you're like, oh my god, they're amazing.

If you look at the brain chemicals that are spiked dopamine and oxytosis. That's the same as drugs. Same as being in drugs. But the addiction you get to that, you're like, I want that back, I want that back. And when it dies for you, it's pretty three days. Yeah.

But that's typical between like three days to six months, you can never go back to that. You can keep it going and interesting. And apparently, if you in a long-term relationship, it gets like deeper and more profound. Right. There's another chemical that I forget keep it going and interesting and apparently if you in a long-term relationship it gets like deeper and more profound. Right, there's another chemical that I forget what it's called. Dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin. Yeah.

And cortisol. So there's something with an N. Cortisol, non-net, front, or whatever. Nor-net, that's the one that creates long-lasting bonds. Exactly. So you feel like a sense of loyalty even though you're not getting that like, do a dopamine rush. Exactly. If I pleasure in committinglasting bonds. Exactly. So you feel like a sense of loyalty even though you're not getting that like do-a-put-mean rush. Exactly. If I pleasure in committing to someone. Exactly. Exactly. Exactly. What it is is attachment. Right. What is attachment? Yeah.

The attachment team. So what happens is those are spiking the first three dates. You're like, oh my god. And then you're like, I already know this. It's not that you want you with a rush. Yeah. Yeah. It's exciting to meet you. It's all on dopamine. Thing is people are it's hard because it's hard to get that back too. So maybe you got to go to date four next. But if I if I'm after date three, I already know that I don't want to like marry this person. I already feel bad stringing them along for date four, five, six, seven, eight, you know that. Her she'll go on like 40 more dates with the guy you know. I've heard she doesn't like I don't do that anymore. Okay. I've cut the time in half. All right, good.

Yeah, you know what you want, then. Yeah, yeah, no. I mean, I know what I don't like. I know what I don't want. I know what I want, but I know what I can recognize it. It doesn't take me three years now. It takes me like, but here's my question for you guys. So when you want to, are you single as well?

Yes. Okay, I'll go ahead. So how long does it take when you're on a date and you decide, you know, does it take you to the third date? Does it take you know on the first date? To decide what? To decide that you don't want to be with them. Oh, I just know that I never want to be with anybody. But I would, I go past the third date.

I go past the third date. Right. Because you want the sex. Yeah, I like that. Because that happens on the fourth date, typically they say. Oh, I've never been on a, is that the average? No, I don't want to perpetuate that. But yes, menace, don't you think like the fourth date?

Or that's what everyone says. Like the fourth date. I have sex on the majority of first dates that I'm on. You do? Well, you don't go on dates. You just get drug places. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, that would be too. It's like, it's like, it's not having like a sober dinner with someone. It doesn't. You're not like taking to a show or something. It's like, hey, I'm at this dance club. It's 12, 18 a.m. Come meet me. Oh, we hooked up.

That's date one, right? It's the middle of the previous second. That okay, so you just hook up with Chex mostly. Yeah. Yeah, is it because you've like anxiety around approaching women and meeting them when you're not? No. It's very common.

I will. No, most people do, and that's why guys are so email me every day because you know I think I just have the anxiety about like liking to be alone So I don't want to like date anybody and have the time to hide up. Yeah, I totally got it. That's been Absolutely, I know what you mean because you feel like you feel like you're giving up a party and your independence and your freedom But what they say and I say Who say you keep referencing? party and your independence and your freedom. But what they say and I say you keep referencing. Yeah, we're talking about the two people next door.

I'm not. So are married people that are always in our ears. I'd be like, can I be honest Jake? I'm more like you. Like I they say that it goes deeper when you stick with someone like I've been in long term relationships. It does happen. But that's not typically that's not really what I want either. And I also have a fear of losing my independence. And in relationship, I'm very, I am very to my career. We're having a really good time here.

No, but I am sort of, if someone ever tries to take that time away from me, I'm like, I want to, it makes me anxious. Yeah. And they say they, no, I know it's true, because I've kind of done it. What I'm saying is people, you can have your independence when you're in a relationship with someone. You will find someone where you'll be able to still be you and she'll appreciate your own, your long time. But I'm not worried about another person taking that from me

and like another person stealing my independence. I just know me in relationships. I don't do enough. Do you do to keep yourself the space? I don't do enough to protect my independence. Because my initial thought, especially when I'm in that honeymoon phase, which is the most dangerous place for me to be, I'm like over promising, over sharing it. Give her a key, she moves in.

Get in connected, and then it's like I turn around three months later, I'm like, fuck. Right, how is she living with us? Because you guys are roommates, right? Does he have girls who stay for weeks at a time? No, weeks at a time. Oh, right, days. Days, hours really. The last one was two minutes, which I thought was kind of rude.

Yeah, I've gotten faster. Yeah. All right. Do we just talk about that? Can I rewind back though real quick to you guys, you know, start out in New York. Yeah. And now you're here in Los Angeles. Why did you come to LA and how much different is it?

Because something just came out today where New York is like the third freaky of city. Freaky? Yeah, for like people like getting it on. And then LA is like number six. Wait, what's number two, one and two of New York's three? Number two is San Francisco and number one is Portland actually. Portland? Yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

Really? So how has it been like the transition? Why'd you guys even come out here? I don't know. We should have moved to Portland. Yeah. I thought it was going to be freaky. I'd be down to get a little fear as luck would have. Because well, OK, so you guys have a certain level of fame

like in New York, right? So it was probably easy to hook up with. I put your hand closer to the table when you said certain level. Yeah, the thing about our popularity is that we're well known amongst a lot of like, basically teenage to college aged guys. So it doesn't really help with girls right off the bat. It helps eventually when like on date two or something when they ask what we do, and they find out that we're not even that we're famous, but just that we're writers

and that we're successful at it. I think that goes a long way. If only we were gay pedophiles. I feel like we'd have a field day just boning 15-year-old like we were in a semi-popular band, we would have sex way, way more than we had. Yeah, yeah. No musicians trump all.

However, women, they like- musicians Trump all however women They like Twitter are Instagram like all they got all these followers And it's kind of fun. They started like they already Google G before the Yeah, and it gives us a chance to be humble because they look us up and they're like wow Why do you guys have so many followers and we're like oh, we're just I don't know we just like to write and that's that's all Yeah, yeah, so that definitely helps out, but how's that how's that been like versus L.I. versus New York and stuff It is more tame out here although I was in a relationship for most of New York

So like I wasn't a single eligible dude in New York, so Five date relations. She's five dates. Oh, no, that was three years plus So I don't know what happened after that. It turned into this. No, it wasn't even that hard. It was like fairly mutual. That was the best time. Mutual, I'm not into here.

You're not into me. I was like, oh, we're not going to get married. It was that so long not having independence that you really valued. Yeah, now I like, I stocked up on my not being independent. And now that I have it, I'm like, oh, I can't get rid of it ever anytime soon. So how are you trying to, so are you, how are you meeting girls?

Either in person while traveling or online with apps. Which apps, Tinder? I've used Tinder. Okay. My friend calls it a blowjob dispensary. Wow, that is an amazing logline for any app. Because it gets a lot of like blowjob. Even the audible, it's a dude that gets blow jobs.

I haven't gotten a lot of blow jumps from Tinder, actually. I should talk to it. Is he more attractive than me? No, I don't such think. He's different than you. That's yes. How old is he? He has a better face body.

34, 35. Oh, is he getting blow drops from younger or older ladies? Younger. The younger girls, because I think they're like, I'm not going to do anything, because I don't want to think of everybody, but I'll give him a blow jump. If it's anybody that she's hanging out with he's definitely sleaze here That happens to you sometimes where girls like I don't want to have sex with you, but I'll blow you

Yeah, yeah, that's not so We're so pleased. We're so intimate and it's and it's and it's and it's I know don't give a blowjob girl's right away. That's the new making out though. Everything is so next level these days It's like shaking hands. Wow. I should read it. I mean, my parents are Christmas. Okay. Hot. Um, so tinder. So do you find that the girls are different than just let's just say overall? Forget about meeting out. I would imagine they're more straightforward in New York. Oh, Nela, Nela, it's much more like, uh, professional and like, I'm like dating when I'm like, and

like New York, it's kind of like he said, it's going out late at night. It's getting free. I don't know. I didn't go out on a lot of, I think, because New York, there's so many places to go out. And I think you don't want to waste a weekend going on a date. I would be out with my friends. And all of us would be on Tinder. And somebody would get a Tinder match. And then a group of girls would come out and meet us.

That was the way that. That's so brilliant. Which is so much more fun than a single date that's I have to go and give you two hours of my time a dinner I don't know. She shows up. You're like dinner like I want her to leave now Yeah, he brings the menu and the first half of the day is sober very sober. Yeah, and but what's another benefit about New York Is everything stays open so late, you know, so you just get more and more drunk. It's true Yeah, you're because more of a like a party scene.

LA is a lot. I mean, I guess Uber and ride sharing is sort of changing that. Yeah. It's my experience in LA. It's been like, you know, we're all going to go to one bar because parking is a hassle. And then we all can't get that drunk because we all have to drive home. Yeah. Uber and Tinder, like nobody ever has to leave their self drive.

It's making LA a little more fun. We're going to date ever again and worry about it. No one's going to get a DUI or going to date again, and suffer probably because that's the thing, is about Tinder. So before that though, before Tinder even, it feels like for at least San Francisco, because we lived in San Francisco,

you're a Bay Area, you're from the Bay Area, right? No, I went to school up there. You're a Berkeley. Did you go to school? No, I have nothing to do with the Bay Area. You guys became BFFs after college, yeah. Yeah, we met in New York City. Okay, I got it So but up there too. I felt like no one asked you out They're kind of like hey meet up with my friends like that's typically, but I think guys do anyway

And then you just ordered like you know it's like ordering pizza you you know someone's coming Yeah, maybe we'll meet at chick tonight exactly which is right.'s awesome. I don't want to sacrifice time with my boys. I love my friends. I know. You're in the dude phase now. It's fine. Don't trip on it. I think it's OK.

Because you'll get to the point maybe where you're ready for it. We'll see. We're like, oh, actually now my alone space doesn't feel as, you know, it feels like I'd like to shoot. Another problem is, I don't ever feel alone because I live with two of my friends. So I'm like, isn't it lonely to be alone?

Single? It's like, no, because I'm always just I don't hang it out if I was living in a studio part I have to get a shitty studio apartment and not live with anyone then I will feel the loneliness enough to You're a girlfriend. I would miss. Oh, what do you mean right now? Like if you lived alone would you say? Hey, I want to live with you in Marty. Oh, yeah, I would just move back with you. Yeah That's what I would miss. Is there a Tinder for friends? Is there an adult wedding? We already had friends. Facebook.

Perfect. No, but there should be for friends. Because I just moved here two years ago now. But it's hard to meet like good. I mean, I've met some people. I have a million friends. You just need to meet one, because then they can meet in Chusey to throw it in.

No, I have. I mean, I have, but it'd be nice just to not have to go through the bullshit. Who's your newest friend? You suck. My friend Emily. Your newest friend? She has to.

That's the only thing that sucks about her. Haha. As I'm like, I'm at, no, okay. I hate her names. How, when did you meet her? I've never been friends with another Emily. Um, I met Emily, high a few months ago. And then, I review had one on one time alone time.

Yes. I, I, I let, she is so funny that I left so hard that my, I, my stomach, it hurts. Oh, it's actual side splitting laugh while side splitting how did you meet her I better through a friend of mine that I was kind of dating or date sometimes oh it's like a friend of a friend yeah yeah and there are best friends now you know and then she's married she's cool but she's awesome and she's hilarious and she makes me laugh and the other night we actually went out with some friends we went out with um I don't want to be like whatever. But let's just say someone entertainment,

because I talk about names. But he was just really funny. Oh wait, now the name's for me so I can know. No, I don't do that. She just now, John Stamos. No, she said John Stamos. She said, oh, cool, Chessie. She said, I think she's funny, but I was like,

oh my god, and he said, the next day, she should do sketch or she's really funny. I'm like, no, and she's cool. So she's a new friend, I love her. That's good. I have a few good girlfriends from college here. It's all going well. So the guy in the situation, what we're saying, making new friends is very fun college here. It's all going well. So the guy's situation, what's the thing?

Making new friends is very fun. Exactly. It's fun to have a new friend. Did you have any new friends? I feel like we're new friends, because we had dinner at the podcast one time. Yeah, but it's like we're spending one on one time or not texting.

You never like, you call me or text me anymore. Did you want me to? You never did. I never did, you're tweeting. Well, you never tweet me. How do I, oh yeah, I guess I don't tweet you. I don't tweet you. Yeah, you didn't tweet me. I will. I thought we were friends. We like, you know, things never tweet me. How do I, oh, yeah, I guess I don't tweet you. I don't tweet you. Yeah, yeah, I will.

Hey, you didn't tweet me. I will. I thought we were friends. We like, you know, things were going well. We were definitely. But you guys, do mine. I've said quick break here. I should do mine. But I do want, when we come back,

I would love you guys to give advice on your amazing podcast. We do. I would like you to help us give some people advice. So right now though. Oh, right now. Right the second. Oh, you know, I need to talk advice. So right now though. Oh right now. Right the second. Oh, you know what I need to talk about.

Speaking of lasting two minutes, remember you said that earlier, some of your relationships. Promessant is the only FDA-approved treatment for premature ejaculation. Really? Do you know how you define premature ejaculation? It's like a minute, two minutes or less.

Oh, it is. However, two minutes from when? By ejaculate from like the time minute two minutes or less. How is that? It is. Two minutes from when? By ejaculate from like the time he sees you. At the time he sees you across the bar. No. From the time of like entering.

Yeah. You're ejaculating right now. So that's premature. Oh dude, yeah. I'll give you a bottle. The clock hasn't started yet. So it's not technically premature. Right.

Not side of the thing. And let's do a flashlight there. And let's do a flashlight there. And let's do a flashlight there. And let's do a flashlight there. Okay, but promise it. One of three men suffers from premature ejaculation. But they also, some of them they just don't last as long as they want. Because women, how long do we take to orgasm? Right. I'm not sure if it's a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a little bit four play? That includes four play. Oh, okay. You guys are so cute. Okay. Yeah. So it does include four play. But however, there's a gap. So even if you were a guy that lasts 12 minutes, even if it's again, you're like, I did it. We'll talk after two about that. The four plays of eight minutes. Let's say guy less eight minutes and takes her between

18 and 40. Well, there's an orgasm gap. So, There's an orgasm gap. So, permescent helps close that gap so you can last twice as long. It's called permescent. It's the only FDA-approved treatment. Go to promestcnt.com if you want to have better sex, which who doesn't? Yeah.

Yeah, right? You guys feel that you can. Sorry, I continue. But I can just say something. Please. It would be funny if the pill is just given to a girl to have an orgasm faster. It doesn't do it into the guy. Wouldn't that be awesome?

We closed the gap by making the girl come instantly so that you guys are on the same way. That would be amazing. Minus hates for play. I don't even think he knows what it is. It's too much work. He's like really? Like when you said these things, he's like how long?

How long do I have to do that? Well she was like, oh two hours in the remake out. And then you're going to last like two minutes in bed. That's your problem. Because you're so excited to finally have some completion. Yeah. No, I got it. I mean, I understand that it's an ideal.

Our machines work differently, but you just kind of part of the time. Guys are just too much goddamn work as what it is. Well, the thing is, it's great for guys, probably more than it is for girls. And so, you have to put in more effort because... What's great for guys more than girls? Sex.

No, I disagree. Well, great sex is great for girls, but I'm saying on average, guys probably... Oh, yeah. Guys are like, it's like pizza. Like, what really, like, and that's the same as the bad pizza. It's the same thing. Like, I got it.

You guys, 99.9% of the time time you are going to have an orgasm. Yeah. And it's gonna be awesome. And you're gonna be like, yeah, I could have masturbated. I could have had sex as a matter. I got off. But guys, typically, you would make me. Like a good guy deals with guilt afterwards.

Oh, you do? Tell me about it. Well, like if I come too earlier, like if I come ahead of somebody and they don't get off, then I feel that I can. But then you gotta just turn around and get them off. You gotta take this necklace that I'm gonna give you. I know, I know, but I get what you're saying.

No, I get it. Guys, there's a lot of guilt and shame around. I don't definitely have the sex thing worse. But let me tell you one thing though, women, we don't trip if we never have an organ. Like, we don't care if we don't have an organism every time. We really don't. That's what I've heard.

It's like, don't worry. And we're not lying to you about that. Here's the problem. If you're with a guy and he doesn't even make an effort, or he doesn't seem to care, and he just like, three-pump chump, and he's like doing the whole, like, you know, jackhammer and then he's out. You're like, you're a douche.

Like, you have no, but if you guys like, oh, I'm just, you know, let me please you first. If you can, you clearly tried, didn't happen. We appreciate that more than you just like going in, you know, Wambam, I'm out there. You don't want to feel like a flesh light. Yeah exactly. You might want one but you don't want to feel like one. That's right. So that is the whole four-play. Okay so we're talking to Jake and Amir. Jake and Amir.com. Sorry. Do you hear me in your microphone? I don't hear me in my headset. Is that

a normal thing? You're where are you? I do hear you. Is there some technical stuff in the background? Oh, you do hear me? Maybe it's just my headphones. But I didn't want to record the whole thing and then I was like, oh, me or Mike was? No, no. Just think that I just, I wanted to say my part. Okay.

Do you got, oh, okay. See, we're doing, do you guys, so when you meet? Oh, yeah. Do you feel there's pressure not only sexually, but to be funny? Like, we'll be like, there's so funny only sexually but to be funny? Like we're like, you're so funny. Don't you do you feel like? No, no, we're lucky. I can only be funny. That's your thing. That's your thing. Actually, yeah.

Okay, what if a girl you're out with her and she like Doesn't get your sense of humor. That must have been. Oh, yeah, that's that's happened before. You're like, I'm funny. I'm using it. Somebody doesn't get our sense of humor. I don't know. I've never had somebody like straight up think I wasn't funny, but I've had even girlfriends like tell me that a joke I said was not funny, and that's such a turn off,

because it like, that's all I am. Right, you get it. That joke was bad, Jake. I will shrink, and it's not fun to be around. Right, no, I get it. So you mean like if it's like you're performing, or if you're just like talking or, and you're like, yeah, if I'm just talking to somebody, a group of people and I'm like telling jokes and

Everyone's laughing at my girlfriend's like you stop She's no longer girlfriend. Yeah, that's like date. That's the beginning of the day That's the second date That's one of the ends usually anyway. She insults your jokes But you guys also I wanted to tell you this just to make you feel Even better than you probably already do. Oh. Is that a recent study came out and found that women reported having more pleasurable sex,

aka orgasms with guys who believe they believed had a good sense of humor. Wow. So you got like, you got more than half the battle one. Cool. I don't think you guys have a problem really. Well, you have no idea how terrible dick is in there. You are. What? I'm great at giving or orgasms. You guys, let's 69 and see who comes first.

You're wrong, brother. You guys are sitting here since your roommates do hear each other having sex ever? No, I live in a back house detached from our actual house. Really? Yeah. That's probably a good idea, because you don't want to like... What about in our old place?

Those were thin walls. Yeah. You never got late. That's true. And you always our old place? Those were thin walls. Oh yeah. You never got late. That's true. And you always did, but I put on those headphones. You can do it. Have you ever heard of it?

Do you mean, have you really? I don't think so. I don't think I've ever heard you have sex. There you have it. And there was one time where I talked to a little bit. There needs to be more sex going on here. But like, we'd be like, the plastic up in the floor. It was really quick.

It was over before starting. You don't make noise. I mean, whether it's me or furniture moving, there's probably noise to be added. For sure, dropping. Guys, I don't think that guys make enough noise during sex. Did you dated that one guy and you said he, at the end, he didn't make any noise to that?

I didn't even know, like I'm gonna use so live. If he, if I knew he'd orgasm, he was like, oh, I like, I just was heavy breathing. Yeah, it's a whispering. No, there was no breathing like preceding it. There was nothing, it was like, eh, and that's, I had to like, and then you were done.

Yeah, but it was just so not, I'm not saying it was gonna be screaming and moaning and yelling, but it's like a little bit of like, breathing. No, I started growling when I wore a gasm. No lie. I really like how, show me like, I'm like, a tear.

Oh, wow. That's hot. I don't know, I don't know, like, I mean, that's, that's like, that's so kind of don't know. I don't know, I'm like, I mean, that's like me. That's so primal. But like, that wasn't the real growl. You're really having an orgasm and you really growl. It feels like an amazing, I didn't do it just for show.

No, I love that. That's like so primal. Yeah. It becomes a tiger. What are you doing in your orgasm, menace? Distinct, I love that so much. Bro, what's up? Because I'm so fat. Just out of breath, just gasped out.

Oh, that's a good feeling after sex. Okay, stop. Did you see that new study that said the fat guys last longer in bed? Yeah, that was done by the guy. Google it. Yeah, I did. Did they last longer in bed? That's what I'm doing today.

You know why? Because you're probably on the bottom. You're not going to say ever. You're not doing it from behind. You're not doing it in the positions. They're going to make it more like four extra minutes. And you're just lying there. Yeah. Well, that's good.

Did you got that going? Hell yeah. There's some questions. OK, because you guys on your podcast, which is if I, what is it? I'm sorry. How are you? Why do I say if I were if I were you,

is there awesome podcast, which is super successful, so congratulations on that. I thank you. And you can get on iTunes. And you give advice. We do. And so I thought, since I tried to sometimes give advice to my people here, thank you for emailing me feedback at saxofatme.com that we could all help people together.

Like, it's really meaningful. And thank you. Hi, Emily, I'm a new listener to the show, so sorry if this has already been covered. My question is if a guy is playing the field and having a normal sex life with different women, what is the etiquette in terms of having him owning sex toys? I've never owned one, but I assume

the first thought a woman would have if you brought one in the bedroom one be who else have you been using that with? Thanks, Brendan. Well, yeah. Okay, I can go first here. I was just gonna, because I do, it's my show.

Yeah, that's weird, Brendan. So here's the tale. You don't want to like, stock up on sex toys that are opened and have them in your house and whip out, because I've had this happen to friends. Seriously, friends, not me, because I think guys know better,

but I have had friends. They're like, where was that vibrate? It was like pubic hair on it. Where has it been? Grass knot, I mean, whatever it was. When people used to be pubic hair, I don't know. So, no, you don't want to like, buy stock up on them.

However, if you think there's something like a penis frame, you're usually like, sex toys or a cock ring, or like, the ghost ring, you know, it is new and you bought it. And you got, I thought this cool thing for my friend Emily, because I give all my friend sex toys

Right then that's fine, but you don't want to bring in ones that have been used so I don't think I haven't had sex enough to Need to incorporate toys sex enough sex in general is so like fun for me that I don't need to spice it up Yeah, I break toys because they've had so much. I think it is. They're just bored with sex at this point. Oh, no, I have to spice it up. It's a gateway drug. That's why I've been telling her forever. Because it's starting with one little tiny one. And then next thing you know, it's like a dump truck,

bulldozer type apparatus going down. I just wanted to create a really sexy toy called the dump truck. I know. I was gonna, it's a huge, huge hit in China, but it didn't happen. But the thing is, but you first of all, sex toys, speaking of orgasms earlier, for a lot of women,

that's the, that's your penis no matter how big, no matter how it moves, no matter how small, it doesn't matter, like, because some women prefer that, they just can't, like, they need a viberator, they need extra clitoral stimulation because the typical move is doing sex, you're not hitting clitor. So, it's not that it's gotten old and boring, it's that it like takes, it's like having dessert then, it's in her, it's like, oh, move is doing sex, you're not hidden clitoris. So it's not that it's gotten old and boring.

It's that it like takes it, it's like having dessert then, then it's dinner. It's like, oh, this is great sex with you and I. You're preaching to this guy who says that, well, you also said you never are used to sex toys. I never used the sex toy, but I'm not saying, but it's not because my sex is so great that I would need them. Right.

But I just, no, right. But one day, but typically, I guess, the cool thing to do is most women have them. Like, over 54% of women in sex toys now. Oh. guess the cool thing to do is most women have them like over 54% of women I want to talk to you now. Oh, so the cool thing if you're ever interested You might want to say hey babe, so do you got any toys? I'd love to see them and then she'll feel comfortable and then actually It's kind of hot like it's not that she's you're just sitting there watching and it's not like it's a big For you vibrating like it's could be this like is this scary no it's a little desperate

So then you could play with her. There's ones you can use you vibrating dealt, like it could be this, like is this scary? No, it's a little desperate. So then you could play with her, there's ones you can use together, anyway, they could be hot. So, sex toys moving on. So you guys don't know that about sex toys, but typically, oh, here's the thing, Brandon. We don't know anything.

If you are in a pali amerus, open up, no, I'm saying it's not your thing, but if you are like an, I know people who are in open relationships, and they actually do share sex toys. Oh. But you clean them off. Yeah, did you open up? Did you hear the story recently? I'm sorry. I know people who are in open relationships and they actually do share sex toys. But you clean them after that. Did you open one?

Did you hear the story recently? I'm sorry. Did you hear the story recently? The guy he was watching, she was like boiling all the dildos and he burned down his house. He was trying to do a favor for his wife because they've been fighting about something. He goes like, oh, I'm going to clean our sex toy collection.

That's going to be such a nice thing. So he goes downstairs, he puts him in a boiling water, which you actually should not do. I guess they were glass still, those we met or whatever, but whatever it is, he was boiling water, and then he forgot. Went upstairs, gone phone, and then all of a sudden, fire alarms went off, it's smoking,

his wife's like, what are you doing? And they run downstairs, and she's like boiling this, he's boiling the sex toys, and the whole house almost goes on fire. Oh, geez. I'm trying to do a nice goddamn thing. Yes. I did her that.

Okay, dear Emily, I've listened to your show for years, both with you and sometimes menace too. I have very crude associate that sends me video clips, crude associate. And I happen to actually watch from the other day, and I thought I heard menace talking in the background. I don't really pay attention into the 32nd video.

I didn't really pay attention to it, but I just thought I'd email you rather than rewind background. I don't really pay attention into the 32nd video. I didn't really pay attention to it, but I just thought I'd email you rather than rewind it. I was wondering if you ever noticed, if you've ever recorded or worked with girls gone wild, I don't mean to imply anything weird, but he has a distinct voice. I was curious, love your show. Think it's a great thing.

I listened to it all the time. Cute up the great work, Robert. Girls gone wild? Yeah. Well, I mean, you're sweating. Oh, like with the boobs and like, four, and spring break. Yeah, girls gone wild. Yeah, well, I mean, you're swallowing like the booze that like for an spring break. Yeah, girls gone. Yeah, do you do? Yeah, for show. No, I mean, when I

worked at like hip hop pop radio in San Francisco, I've been to so many nightclubs and like been drunk blacked out and but when you want to bust outside that we had women like likeushing out. Not outside, but. That is what's flash at his bridge. I mean, I definitely been around like girls just naked in the club and stuff like that.

Maybe I was in the background and something. But if it's like some. That's not your jam. You buy some horse and some other person then it's definitely not me. And no offense like girls go wild. That's kind of like how crude they think it is. Yeah, like girls go wild like they're not. That's not true.

That's not true. That's not true. That's like the flash. Yeah, yeah. Boom, it's boom. Definitely. You also went in here. I think you were clearing that up. We were really stressed about it. We didn't know.

I also saw him referring 12 bum fights. Yeah, that's a good flight. Headshot. Yeah, for show. He's just in the background of really depraved internet. I know, yeah. OK, we've got an email which I think is really relevant to you guys. Well, I'm just gonna read it.

Here we go. How to sex. Hiya. This is really embarrassing to ask, but I really struggle with writing sexual messages to my partner. He is really good at it, but I feel like I'm disappointing him because I don't know what to write back to him.

So I usually always say, oh wow, come here now. It's really bad. And I just just see if you could give me some advice on what to back to him. So I usually always say, oh wow, come here now. It's really bad. And I just see if you could give me some advice on what to say to him. Thanks, Katie. Well, the reason why is, because don't you have like ask a mirror or something?

No, it's called textjake.com. Textjake. It's easy to answer what you guys. It's a text expert. OK, so right, textjake.com. And people can send you, like in real life, like screen grabs, what how do I respond? The actual screenshots of texts, like, screen grabs, what, how do I respond? I see a few screenshots of texts and they're like,

what should I say to respond to this? So do you ever respond? That's so, do they pay? $5 a message. Wow. That good. Well, too nice. That is brilliant, because guys who can't give,

forget sex, guys who can't give good text can't get laid. So for, yeah. It's a humor thing. It really does, because texting is all about just like talking to a little microflertation. Right. And that's what, that's what so many people are bad at it. It's literally the one thing I'm good at. That is, well, it's, it's, because I've dated guys that I was like, I liked them so much

better when we're just texting. Like, we dated for a while. I'm like, I think I just wanted another room in text making it so much more, not that you're like that. But funny. So would you, I mean, you're funny and you can you text so do people ever ask you to sex they have yeah oh we should start sex Jake dot you should start anything with sex in the title I would love to you man sex thing it really I'll do with you but we could do sex will not I'll help whatever you probably know I'm sure

it's anybody has anybody done that they asked the SD first. Sex device? Yeah, that's me. What do you say? It's happened once or twice. I mean, I could always write just one message. I think the one that gets me off the most is like, I want to suck your cock. I want you to fuck me from behind. Right.

Those are pretty standard. But then like, that's funny. It must have been like, that's funny. I think it must have been getting, like, coming desensitized to what we're saying. It's like, it's, I don't know, people are just so self-conscious. But, I think you just bite the bullet and you send it and you get more desensitized, each message you send.

That's true. It is true, but how do you, Katie wants to know how you warm up? So I would say, like, ask questions until I think you have to, but how do you, Katie wants to know how you warm up? So I would say, ask questions and tell, I think you have to, when you're sexy, you have to find them for a little bit. Yeah, and also make it like a fantasy, so you want to be kind of linear.

You want to just kind of, yes, like dirty talk. You just kind of want to say what you, describe, be descriptive. So like, you know, I was thinking about you, I just got home and I got in bed and I'm thinking about you right now, I took my clothes off for something. And then you take like really, like, what are you doing?

Well, I'm touching myself. I mean, you just kinda go from there, right? Tell them what you'd like to do, like she could say, oh, I'm thinking about sucking your cock. Me, she's gonna leave it back. But like little, yeah, yeah. Yeah, baby, I'm thinking about having you, okay, here's think, Katie, if you're a newbie,

I'm not gonna make you use the word cock, which is actually voted the number one word that was used in erotica, erotica the day. Cock, if you want to know. It is a little powerful. I would rather see somebody say hard dick. Really?

Yeah, that would turn me on. Your hard dick. Dick? Really? See to me, I'm like, yeah. Yeah, dick's a little, it makes it, but saying hard in front of it, hard cock makes it sound like it's not mine. Like she's a poor, she's poor.

I never talked about my dick using the word cock. Right, no I got it. It's all porn. So okay, I'm not even gonna say, what would, let's say you just start, because you guys find these nice girls like Katie, who maybe they're not as professional at sexting. So what would it get you going?

How would you like to receive your sext? And let's help Katie. So Katie's a newbie. She's a gay in the sky. How long should we be dating? Let's say, uh, can I just say first? I would like her to just initiate this sexting, you know, cause probably 95% of the time women aren't, you know, I never initiated the guy has to. Right. And that's

so let's see says I've been think. Okay, let's say he says to her, how are we? Okay, last night was so hot, I keep thinking about your hot body or something. And then what would you want back from that? If he said, if I started it, let's say he says to her, well how are we okay? Last night was so hot, I keep thinking about your hot body or something. And then what would you want back from that? If he said, if I can't, he started it, let's just say he started. Last night was so hot, because she says he's sexy.

I just wanna say that. How do they what? Do. No way. You do? He's just telling me that I'm sexy. I'm so afraid that like somebody with screenshot that and like tweeted out like,

oh what's going to happen to everybody? Do you look at this? Do you look at somebody who's sexy of a writer I am? Yeah, that would be a good thing. That would help you get, you know. That's why you never, I would never send an unsolicited creepy sentence. Yeah.

I always would make sure that it's somebody that wants to get it. Yeah. So what would you tell, so you know, yeah, because men, I think that women, we like to be complimented.

We just do. There was no woman on the planet, it's like, oh, I hate when he tells me I like hot. And we used to joke, I wasn't really talking about, like, compliment her like 10 times a day if you're with a girl, like, you're like hot, I know. But I was just to get my point across. So I think, you know, to say, like, you were so hot

last night, thinking about you, you know, and then you should say, oh, really? Like, what are you thinking about? You'd be like, when you were sucking my heart dick. And then she could say, that was really hot. What would you, you know, she just get creative, Katie. Like, think of any erotica. You had the problem is a lot of men.

I think about it's favorite things during sex. What's she like when you were actually? Exactly, so, right. Think about it, I was thinking, so when you're having sex, was he like really moaning when you were, you know, slapping his face or something? Right, or something like when your legs are straight up Right when you're riding him reverse cowgirl, you know just like talk about exactly

Tap into how explain your last sex session or your most memorable sex session to him verbatim in text and like talk about what you want to do and Right, yeah, I mean asking questions is a way to keep it going without necessarily doing the exact thing. Yeah, in pieces I want to take your clothes off, she'd be like, well, what do you want to do next? And then what? And then what? And then that could get her going. Right.

And then you'll already be going, Katie, and then you'll know what to say. It's like dancing where you're letting him take the lead and then you just follow in step, and then you can take the lead. But do you wish that we've in took the lead more like initiating sex? What do you guys think about that?

Or do you think they do? Um, in my experience, I'm not very good at it. And that's only I struggle with a lot of guys do. Um, so would you say you struggle with doubt? Doubt, fear, anxiety. Yeah. Side effects, man. Fear, fearful and anxious all the time.

Yeah. Me too. I don't know. I think it all seems to happen. Good enough amount for me. Right. I'm not like wishing it was happening more. It all depends on the lady. There are ladies out there that could do that to text me right now and it'll be like, oh this is great. And then there are ones that are like, I feel bad about this.

So it sort of depends on the relationship you guys already having. But if she's dating this guy, then it sounds like it's going well. Yeah, okay. Good. Menace, anything? Nothing. Okay. No, I was just saying earlier though, I wish they would initiate more. Well, I feel like I hear that the, one of the top complaints I get asked for men is like, why won't she initiate sex?

Like, why won't my partner or anywhere else initiate it? Yeah, they'll give you the blowjob at the second date, but once you're in a relationship, apparently women don't, I know, I know they don't initiate sex enough. I feel like women are so giving when we say we want something.

So you say, you just have, the guy almost just needs to have that first conversation. Right. What is it worth it? When you ask for it and you get it, is it worth it? Yes, it is. It is. Guys want to please you, and this is the thing guys want to please you.

Guys do, you do, you want to know. She would be like, here's my, because men always says the vagina's like the Rubik's Cube of life which it kind of is and when you be psyched if she was like I want you to do this this or that you're like great yeah awesome you're pleased I'm pleased let's you know you know those YouTube tutorials we took to solve the Rubik's key that same guy should tell me how to fuck right yes you are you are you I think it's like intimidating conversation to say something.

It is. What gets you off. So there's like subtle ways that you can do that. Exactly. Like just leading people by, I mean, you're by moaning by saying yes more of that. Yeah, exactly. Just talk about it. And a couple of people don't talk about sex enough because they think that women,

M.M. believe, they're typically women because the guys are a little bit simpler in the bedroom, technically. Women assume that men just know, like you guys were like, you know, someone gave you like a manual or something, or you've like saw you too really. He's not going to do, but they don't, and every woman's different. So even if you were a master with your ex, you're not going to know with this guy, so it's woman.

So it's confusing. So I think that the more that women speak up in the bedroom is important, because why are you just sitting there suffering if you know that you want a finger in your body or something for them? Yeah, try that on literally everybody in sleep with you. I'm sure you do. Do you?

I have a guy in front of you does that. He's like, it's test if she's kinky or not. Do you? I do. Yeah, I try it on everybody. You stick a finger in a butt of every girl. Yes. And then so how have the results been? Some people just pull it away and some people are into it. Yeah, I try it on everybody. You stick a finger in a bar of every groight Brought yes, and then so what what how have the results been?

Some people just pull it away and some people are into it right and I've never had somebody be like Stop it. How dare you never They just like I it's not like I go all the Interco sir you just like robbing a little like you're not like yeah, I probably I and I usually am not even so so like, clearly trying to do it that they have to grab my hand, but like, if they just change their body, so I'm not close to it, then I get that sense.

But I also just wanted to say, positive reinforcement in term, over negative reinforcement, right? So like, this guy might say to his girlfriend, I love when you initiate sexting. Like, I love when you touch me like this. Not, hey, you've been doing this and it's bad. Exactly.

You're so absolutely right. You do not want to start in with what you're doing wrong and when you win this. So, I always say, yeah, when you want to have the sex-talking relationships, which a lot of people have a hard time doing, I myself struggle with it too, which is funny if I'm dating someone you think I would, I mean, I think I'm probably about,

I'm hard at myself, but when I was learning and I still, it's hard just to, the first conversation, you're like, okay, so sex, I mean, because you don't want to do it in bed unless it's like a move to the left out, you're hurting me,

you're on my knee, I'm like, I'm doing for something. Definitely, stay comfortable. It's, you do want to be like, you know, like, I, because I get a lot of emails from listeners who are like, well, I want to try, I have a three-some-some-of-my partner, I want to try to, what do I do? And so I think it's great to be like, you know,

our sex is so awesome. It was so great last night. That was so fun. You know, it would be, I think, we'd have so much fun together if we started to talk dirty, or I'm going to dress up as a schoolgirl. Would that be fun? Right.

Whatever. And then you just like compliment them, it's great, and then here's where we're, we'll just do this. If a vagina is a Rubik's cube, what is it penis? Can I recommend the ball on a paddle thing? Like a puppy. Yeah, so much salad. Did the game?

Yeah. It's so much easier. Jacob's ladder. Yeah. Like you instantly get it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. yeah. It's a ruler. Yeah, so you're using it all, Ed. Okay.

Yep, yep. That's it. What's the thing that you bang on and something sports out of it? That is the penis. Yeah. You're talking about a metaphor for that. There's no like a toy that you just go, oh, what big question? Something, but that's a jack-o-late.

That's a, the king is this simple little lab. It's a harmonious thing. Yeah, it's easy. So easy. OK. Silly putty. One more question. OK.

OK. Hello. My name is Jason. I'm 27. I love the show and learn so much from your talks. I have three questions. Oh, you said one. Yeah, what's the deal?

OK, we might only have time for one. But first, I want to have sex with my ex-girlfriend's former roommate. I believe I can make it happen. My question is, why am I turned on by having sex to people that I'm not supposed to for various reasons? What has your experience been in this realm? Second, dirty talk.

I wanna talk dirty to my partners, but I'm never quite sure what to say, and I don't wanna see something like, I think it's too dirty, but it's just a grading that I wouldn't normally see outside the bedroom. Lastly, in an interracial dating, I'm a black man who was dated mostly white women. Coast is more open to interracial dating

and West Coast or East Coast thanks Jason. Okay, Jason, we, that's like a whole friggin' show there, okay? Which one's the most interesting to us all? We can answer X-Girlfriends, former roommate? Yeah, do that one too. West Coast. The West Coast is probably more open to the initially. Yeah, yeah, oh, that's so good.

But that we can ask that quickly. But what about your ex-girlfriends form a, like, do you guys do that, bros or for hos or what's the other? What did chicks say just for dicks? Well, that just, that just he wants the forbidden romance. That has something to do with it. He can't get, he wants girls, because he wants that thrill of doing something

different, not already, the chase. I mean, yeah. And the forbidden. I've been, the chase, and the forbidden. I've been him many times, and I think that you just have to weigh the pros and the cons. You don't really really hurt him. He makes an Excel spreadsheet of the pros and cons. But except the only pro is sex and there's never a con. Well, sometimes you're just like-

I can't quite come up with all. My penis is gonna be in over a gin on 10 minutes. It's gonna hurt somebody. And is that okay or is it not okay? There's plenty of people who are like, oh, this is what hurt her feelings, but I don't care that much. And that's okay and you can have sex

because you're both single and it doesn't sound like two intensive relationships. It's like girlfriends form a room. Yeah, like it's not even like there's still roommates, but- That's a very tame forbidden fruit. It's like girlfriends form a room. Yeah, like, it's not even like there's still roommates, but it's a very tame forbidden fruit. It's not like my current girlfriend's sister. Yeah, I shouldn't do that. But then he said, I'm turned on.

Yeah, like you said, the bigger issue, having sex with people that I'm not supposed to be married, women, who knows what road he's going down. Yeah. So I think that's really common, because it also, it's commitment sometimes, people think, well, this isn't going to work anyway. It's a little crazy. And I don't really have to get intimate with

this person and care. So I'm going to go after like the unknown, untainable or the dangerous. That could be enough, that could be a reason. Well, what's the psychological reasoning behind stuff, like even as far back as like the Bible, the like the forbiddenness of stuff is like so tentative. It literally gone the forbidden food. The forbidden food, yeah. Exactly, because at any time you know you I mean I was also primal and I just think that we've always been told that sex is wrong and shameful

and in so many ways which is the what I said the biggest is you people struggle with sexually is that they do have shame around it whatever reason like either they didn't perform or goes but I looked at you I mean even God I didn were there. Even God who wrote the Bible thought forbidden fruit was hot. Yeah, exactly. We've messed it up. And it's fucking God. We've totally messed it up.

We made up so many. Right, God knows. And so I just think that we've always made it seem like it's the thing that, but that's what makes it exciting, that we're not just doing it. There's shame, religion, all this stuff. Right, yeah.

But it's all good. People should just take a bite of the apple. Right? Okay, then dirty top. We you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on.

We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on.

We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you what's going on. We're gonna show you Is this gonna sound like he wants to say things that are like a little degrading to me? Oh, general. He always does.

Like, there's porn where people get off to being like, Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, totally. Shaming, yeah, yeah. Just read, just read Craigslist, you'll see. Some women like that too. Oh, yeah, some women. If I was fucking somebody and they like said out of the blue, like,

Oh, they were like doing a dick-shaming porn to me or something like, Oh, yeah, you have a tiny little dick. I would really hate that. But you would hate that that but there's some men that are into that right some men that dress like babies and Exactly they want you to plan on Don't It's a missive the whole thing absolutely if it's like that you almost have to break that beforehand Yeah, don't stop here's a thing with dirty top. Here's the number one rule of dirty top Do not start out really aggressive and intense if you've never been with this person or it's a new relationship

You got to build it you got like babe that's so hot that you feel so good your ass is dirty my hands is that is dirty always I'm but this activity is negative but it's not like your vagina is super well I think you don't want to be like scientists and you want to be descriptive and you want to just kind of build up you don't want to go in like I want you know you're my bitch you're my right don't wanna go in like, I want, you know, you're my bitch, you're my, right. I'm positive, I'm like, cause all my dirty talk is positive.

All right. Like, like, like, you're so tight, I love fucking you. You feel good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's good, that's sweet too, see that? No shaming, right, no shaming. But is you feel good dirty talk?

Yeah, I mean, it's talking. Here's me, we are brained, like the largest sex, or women get turned on, which is why we like, funny guys and personalities and things, guys are like, she's the thing, our brains are like the largest sex. Or women get turned on, which is why we like, funny guys and personalities and things. Guys are like, she's really funny, but she's not cute, I don't care.

If you talk to us in a way that's engaging, entertaining, you know, hence like, text, Jake, or whatever, I'm sorry, I fucked that out. No, that's right. That is right. Hey, that's the words turn us on. Like, they really do. And so if you can email texts, say these words to women. So I think positive reinforcement is great. Just we like to's the words turn us on. Like, if they really do. And so if you can email tech, say these words to women.

So I think positive reinforcement is great. Just we like to hear the words. Because even during sex, that's for play for us. That's hot. So that's what I recommend. So if you're inclination, though, it's to shame people, if you think that's hot. Which is more like, it's totally fine.

Dude, we had them to find somebody to do that. You have to build up to it, though. Right. But you can't be like, you're a study-haw-a-bit. You fucked your cousin or something. She had this shake on the show. Here's a girl who was like, hired to shame business guys. Donner tricks.

Yeah, and she would like show up to these guys' house and like pee in their mouth and like do all this crazy stuff. Yeah. So it's probably her and two. Yeah, it's so high. She want me to give you her. What does she do now? She's dominatrix.

I think she's still dominatrix. She was in my sex school what does she do now? She's dominating, she's still dominating. She was in my sex school with me. But I think there is something for everybody. And this is actually a rule of thumb for sex across the board. No matter what you want to do, you want to stick your finger in places that you don't, you don't, she's into it, he's into it. Rule of thumb.

Slow, get it. Just slowly escalate everything. So dirty talk and just start with describing, like, you feel so good. That's the great way to start. Like, you feel so hot, like, your body, your, whatever. And then see if she responds. You like getting fucked, don't you? Right, exactly.

You're going to be blind. Oh, right? She's like, oh, yeah, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, she's like, you gotta read the energy. So I think that's just, um, silly build up, and be descriptive.

Not too descriptive, right? Okay, that's what we have time for. What else you guys tell me what's going on? Like where we can find you and like what else is going on? Well, what's our address? 510. This is how I get dirty that party. I'm here as Social Security Number as three six.

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Jakedemere.com. That's right, jakedemere.com. And if I were you show.com. I were you show.com. Yeah, and What's your email Twitter Jake Jake demand 84 Jake in a mirror do you guys are roommates and you share Twitter count actually? I just don't use Twitter

It's that's my tweet Do you we should follow each other and start tweeting? I think I already follow you about what else what's your oh? It's oh, I'm at sex with Emily okay sex. They'll make Instagram Twitter Facebook and menace cool just menace me and AC owns the menace. He's like Madonna. That's pretty cool. Yeah on all social media Yeah, it's the benefit of living in San Francisco He just call and say hey, I want this user name. Wow He knows people That's amazing and then text Jake.com you guys are awesome. Thank you so much for being here

Thanks for having us. Thank you, men. I always get to see you and thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily was a good for you Email me feedback at sex with Emily dot com Oh, but but now that you're still here get back on the mic for a second because my final sponsor that I have to give a shout It's actually the flashlight. Oh, oh, oh Funny enough. I fuck 20 you guys right exactly So it is the number one sexway for men and you like to be thought it was too big Which I get and they like hundreds of different kinds and if there's certain porn stars You like they get their vagina's mold you know bad not the one you got made but

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