Sex With Emily - Tease Your Way to Even Better Sex

Episode Date: October 30, 2014

In this podcast, Emily shares the necessary art of teasing. Those delicious moments that lead to sex, the heightened sexual tension and the sizzling anticipation is a huge part of what turns good sex into mind-blowing sex. Also, diid you know the breastgasm is the 2nd most common orgasm for women? Emily teaches you exactly how to master the breasts for her ultimate pleasure. Emily and Anderson talk about why people are having sex in the airport before they even join the mile high club. Emily explains what is good sex and the one post-sex pet peeve Emily wishes would never happen. All this and more on this week's episode of Sex With Emily. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to this episode of Sex with Emily. You know what? Anticipation is a huge part of what turns good sex into mind-blowing sex. How many times has the build up to sex with your partner been as good if not better than the sex itself? Tonight's show is all about the art of the teas. But first, thank you so much for supporting my sponsors. And one of the reasons you're able to listen to us for free is because of the incredible people at GoodVibes.com. They carry the best sex toy brands that you don't have

to mess around with like toys that you're not going to like or that are going to follow apart. They're all body-safe materials and they have everything. So if you go to my website sexanemy.com, you click on the GoodVibes better. I've got a store there and you can see all my favorite toys that I've tried. If you. Couple toys or clitoris toys you want to find your G spot. You'll love it. You can try the Delia, you can try the new rabbit habit which is like get ready or old rabbit if you have one. And so also the magic wand because who doesn't want that? Stacktruz Emily dot com. Click on the good vibes banner. UseACO GV-M-L-L-20 for 20% off. Thanks for listening. I'm gonna buy you a gun. Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because, uh, my man, he here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kinda cute. The girls got a hair stand.

Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It shrinks? And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm all for ourself, gone.

Being bad feels pretty good. But, you know, Aveline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. So for more information, go to sexwithmwe.com. We're going to have a new website coming soon, which is super exciting. Because you'll be able to see all the pod, we could have so much material on the website that's not that easy to tell what we have. So soon you're going to be able to see everything.

We do have hundreds of podcasts. You got to sign up for my mailing list because like I said, do give good email and check all that out. Also, I love getting emails. As you know, I answer them on every show. Any question you have, best to keep it short and sweet, email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Cause I love that. And I'm here with Anderson tonight. Yes, you are. Anderson, I kind of have a beef to pick with you.

Oh, no. Yeah, I know a beef. Guys, she's blindsided me because we've talked before the program. We've been together for, I don't know, 10, 15 minutes now. Yeah. Well, it's not really a beef. It's not really a beef. It's not a beef for real.

But okay, here's the thing. I always talk about your podcast. Oh, no, I know this is about. Oh, no, I always talk about film vault. You've two. Yeah, yeah, yeah, and I've listened to to both and they're great. But you're like, you know, after disaster, I'm not going to talk about that. But after disaster is really hilarious. It's pretty legit. I agree. I love that. And you're so good on it. So it's a minute. But I listen to that show three months behind and I it's like a whole new show to me Even though I'm one of the voices on it. I don't remember it. It's one of my favorite podcasts I know that's awful to admit which one the one that I listen to after disaster no Just to show itself. Yeah, I listen to about 10 podcasts and that's that's a shame it'll be one of them Right. Well, I mean, you know what I never listen to my show which I think is actually good for like

Increasing your talent and so I don't know But anyway, so Anderson text me a link. He's like, check this out. I talk about how great you are. Because last week, when we parted ways, I was telling you, I guess, what I say about you, right? I don't know. We're talking about how I say what I think, and I always say things, the same things to people's faces,

I say behind their back so I can get away with it. Right, you're like, in fact, and then you text me later that day. No, I eat like a text. On my way home, I was listening to a random episode of the after disaster., you're like, in fact, and then you text me later that day, no, I like it. On my way home, I was listening to a random episode of the after disaster. And you're like, oh, hey, check this out. I say you're great here. So I listened to it, but it was like the episode I tuned some I think.

Yeah, I tuned. Yeah, I was really good. But then you're like, here's the real like, so then I listened to it. And the beef is no, no, no, you're like, really? The first beef is that you don't promote after disaster enough, because it's awesome. But the other one is that you're like, at least great. No, she's great. I mean she's crazy Yeah, I did put a little emphasis on the crazy. I mean like a really loud emphasis on crazy

And it's so funny because I was listening to it as I was driving to San Diego with my assistant And I don't think that maybe she doesn't think I'm crazy yet, but she was kind of like are you a friend about that? I'm like no, I really wasn't and I'm the one. I'm the one who pointed it out in Centritus not like somebody else said, hey, listen to what I had to say about you. But you did say my podcast is known for a lot of porn stargasts, which I don't like, because it's only been the last few months.

Well, since I've been involved. We're not doing any more porn stargasts. I might have eights, I think, from working on your show. But you've learned a lot. But we are going to have a lot of super interesting guests coming up, a sex surrogate. Things that are just more in the sex surrogate. Things that are just like more in the sex group. I learned, listen, I've been working on a love line for over 15 years now, and I definitely

learn things on your program here. So, and that's the honest, good truth. They've never learned another in love line. Yeah, I listen to a love line of 10 hours a week. It's my job for 15 years, and I've learned things here that I can actually apply in the old bedroom. Yeah. And that's no lie.

And you know what I, you know what I, I had some misgivings after I sent you a link, giving you the timestamp of that particular episode where I talked about you, frankly. And I'm like, maybe I shouldn't know. No, I loved it. You know what? I'm just, I'm actually teasing you because I love our relationship that you can be like, she's crazy,

but she's awesome and I love her. And it was a funny story about the guest who was leaving and that you stuck your phone. Oh, yeah, completely offended her. I loved it. And Anderson, I don't get offended by that at all. I'm just kidding You're crazy in the best and the best way you're like crazy in the best way in a lot of you want to have a show if you weren't crazy exactly everyone's a little and everyone's a little note in you are not like the opinion of the insanity therapy would do me done's a good you've never had therapy everyone need therapy

I don't understand like well I've told you I think my dad's a therapist and I have no respect for the man It's so funny that people whose parents are therapists are the most I think that whole running with scissors book is all about Yeah, it is it told you and I think no matter who you are no matter what your parents are therapists that it just in your life It just helps To go to therapy and it's not a lifelong thing you go for a few months you go for six months Maybe you go back. I mean, the way I was raised that is like a lifelong process. Because my parents threw me into therapy

when I was like 10 when they first got divorced. And then again, 20 when my dad died. And then again, it's like, what? A third day went again. When you're two and 30, you're gonna have to go to therapy again. Exactly, when two and three, I'm gonna have to go again. It was really crazy. No, but I just think in life, certain things come and go and you might need things to work on and I'm just always amazed at in this day and age people

Don't realize the benefits of therapy and the other thing I want to say about that is that A lot of people have bad experiences just like the anal sex experience that I talk about they think they hate anal And I'm like someone didn't really poorly without loop just like therapists. You need to shop around There's not always you're not gonna love every therapist. I love how he just tied anal sex and therapy And I'm like, someone didn't really poorly without Lou. Just like therapists, you need to shop around. There's not always, you're not gonna love every therapist. I love how he just tied anal sex and therapy. But if you had about experience with therapists, don't let that write you off the whole process

because they're human and they're not all right. Next time you see your therapist, when you bring that up, the anal sex part of it, that's not all right. That you, yeah, see what she says has to say about that. I'm just trying to speak to my people here. Say that I, I use an analogy and I put therapy up against anal sex. What does that say about me?

I always do. I was, I can't throw in a little anal sex. So anyway, I just think that, and there's a lot of couples that call in and they're like, my husband, my wife won't, and I'm just telling you that I've never heard anybody complain that therapy mess them up. Okay? It just makes them better. So anyway, another exciting thing is that on Thursday nights now you can listen to my show and

Watch it live streaming 839 30 Pacific standard time You can watch it which is very exciting because like I said above guests you can watch me and Anderson because we're very interesting and You can call them with your questions. I will answer them right away We're gonna have a topless guest on here eventually, right? Yeah. Now that we get the cameras up in here. But then that turns me into like a webcam girl. Yeah, but yeah. Yeah.

I should start charging them. Notice kidding. 1-800-LOVE-1-9-1 is the number that you can call in its Thursday nights. So that would be awesome. And then also, if you live in Los Angeles area, I'm going to be hosting, I'm going to be at a panel called Beyond the Bedroom at the Body Well in West Hollywood. You're gonna find information on my website. It's November 5th at 730 with Connor Habib, who's been a guest on the show.

He's really smart. He's a gay porn star, but he's also an amazing writer. And it's called What Your Doctor Can't And Won't Tell You About Sex. What it means to be sexually healthy outside the bedroom. It's like 10 to 20 dollar donation. It's gonna be an amazing event. Also I told you all about the sexual health expo. I'm so excited.

January 17th and 18th in Los Angeles and I'm giving away 25 tickets. So, and they're for good for two people. And the expo is super cool because it's the leading sex experts in the world, teaching workshops, plus, and the tickets are super reasonable too. They're like $25 or something and it's for two days and there's like a really fun party at night. There's an award show, all the latest toys and I'm going to be there giving the keynote speech. So feed back at sexwithmwe.com why you want to go and I'll get you a ticket. And then also, yeah, follow me Facebook Instagram Twitter sexual-to-endly, all those places. So tonight's show.

Tonight's show is really important, one, because we are talking about teasing. And I've brought this up in the past. I've done shows similar, I've done, you know, talked about teasing and I've done it with menace actually. And he's like, ah, guys don't like teasing. We just want to get to the thing.

But like, I'm going to explain more in depth about teasing because I wouldn't have also been even some of your emails because the thing about teasing is that everybody like slows up the process. Think about like when you first are in a relationship, it's like, it's so exciting like the newness and you can save those moments and you like, wait to have sex and like build up of it all

and anticipation is part of those part. And I'm not saying every single time, but we're going to talk about some tips to really make it hot most of the time, if not all the time. But first I've got a sex and then you start what? I was going to ask what you ladies, how you anticipate sex in the first time, like if you got any concerns, it might be different than dudes. I think guys are just kind of like, uh, can't wait till I'm anger. Can't wait till it happens. Can't wait till I get those pants off. You know, it's almost like they just need to get over the hump. They just want to, uh, they just want to get it finished, you know?

That's a great question. Yeah. What are the ladies think? I mean, I think the first time I'm thinking, I hope he's good. I hope he doesn't rush right. What does that mean? No, Jackhammer. What else? I hope that he performs on four play

because the guys that go straight to just like taking off my pants drives me crazy. I feel like guys used to like play with your breasts and undress you and just make it dissensual. And I feel like most guys are just like unziping your pants and just want to bone you right away. And we're not turned on. And just like what I always talk about. it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's

just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just

like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just like, it's just know, there's a connection and his penis feels good inside of my vagina, which most of them do. I would say, I mean, any penises that were like that really hurt, it feels like, you know, a pair, as they appear, like a prickly, like, bush or something. Like a cat penis. Like a cat penis. I'm also having 90 cuddles because I really like cuddling. And if a guy, if like, okay, so if I have sex with a guy and he, and not every woman, feels this way way or man. And he like just rolls over and falls asleep. I feel so alone and

like abandoned and sad that I want to be caroled. Would it be better if he does left? Yes, I leave sometimes I do leave. Would it be better if he left or fell asleep? What would you choose? I'd rather have him leave. I'd rather say, I'm a turn on sports center? Okay, a sports center, b leave, c falls asleep.

Well, turning on the TV is fine. As long as that the bed is long as it's a company with a cuddle. Does it have to be sports center? I hate sports. In fact, the sound of men talking about sports on television drives me insane. It's like you guys with your bags and your shoes. Okay, same thing. It's like in Dale's on a chalkboard. Oh, did you guys with your bags and your shoes, okay? Same thing.

It's like in Dale's on a chalkboard. Oh, did you see that, man? Never saw that one. Let's talk about this throw one more time. Where the fuck are you guys are talking about your Gucci shit? We don't give a fuck. I don't talk about clothes to guide. And guys don't talk about sports to me unless I was a

sport fanatic. But when we hear you guys talking back and forth about it, it's like, oh, Jesus Christ. What are they talking about? See, I don't do that with my women. Do you really do like your wife, and she's like, oh, this is. Well, not my wife, my wife, perfect. But no, do like your wife? Oh, yeah. And she's like, oh, those shoes.

Well, no, my wife, my wife's perfect. But no, I hear other yentos, you know, going on and on like, hands about, and it's the greatest deal on these pumps. Can you believe it? Oh, you should totally go. We'll go this week and it'll be so much fun. No, it is true that women do that.

I don't do that enough. I need to go shopping more. But yes, women do that and it's boring. And guys, here's another thing. Guys, there's certain things they just don't want to hear about. Like, again, this was back to keeping some things and mystery in the relationship, but it just also keeps sex interesting and alive.

Your partner doesn't have to know every single thing about your life. He doesn't, you don't need to break down your entire day about what happened when you got to work and the person you hate and the cubicle next to you and the talk with your boss and what you had the chicken chow mein for lunch. Right? I understand. Right, Anderson? Like, do you really want to hear all those details? No, no, no, no, no, I'm worried a good one. She doesn't really talk much about working.

Unless if she does bring something up, I know it's really bothering her. And it's usually pretty good juicy drama if it gets to the point where she has to bring it up. Right. But yeah, I've dated girls who do that. And one of my big pet peeves, if you are dating a guy and you do have to tell them about every goddamn cubicle instance that happens during the day,

don't just lay out a bunch of names like and then Roger came over to Sally and she's like, and you know how you know how Travis is, right? We don't. We don't know any of the people in your stupid office. So just say him and her please. Exactly. Oh, here's one more thing. An interesting fact. I want you all to try this this week. Whenever you're on the street walking around, there's a group of people listening, like, you could be at a bar, you could be sitting at a restaurant, you could just be walking, like, if you're in a major city,

I guarantee you if there are two women talking, they are talking about another woman or something else that happened at work and they're telling, I can't believe she did that. Did she really do that? I can't. And someone told me this one's like, that's bullshit, that's like massage and his dick. Women have other things to talk about,

but I swear to God, most women are like, yeah, she did. Like, she did what? He said, and the other thing was the guys that I went like, he never called me. He texted, he didn't text you after that. You know, it's just funny, that's what women do. And I think guys, what do you guys talk about? Sports.

It's so freaking true. Oh, we talk about like anatomy. What do you mean anatomy? Your penises? No, other, you know, female. I was like, what does that ask? I'm not a good example at all. But I get what guys stereotypically talk about

is sports of course. But it's not like politics. Guys love talking politics. Yeah. But they're not talking about like the friends. Like last night Bobby was going to come over and play basketball. No, you guys are like really in a relationship.

I know. And that's a woman thing. So it's not so bad. I'm just saying just notice it. Just for fun. OK, so real quick, we're going to come over and play basketball. No, you guys are really in a relationship and are working relations. And that's a woman thing. So it's not so bad. I'm just saying, just notice it. Just for fun. Okay. So real quick, we're going to do is I found this interesting little sex in the news. There's a survey. And people like having sex at the airport, not in not like in the mile high club, but at the airport. So few things boost the libido like going on vacation. Maybe it's the excitement of new surroundings or the relief of leaving all your stress behind people simply like having sex while on holiday. So, they, they, there are some surveys that suggest that people traveling alone are more likely to engage in casual sex, which I think is actually true. I think a lot of affairs happen, unfortunately, but I think even for me, when I've traveled casually,

a sex, when I travel alone or travel to places, I kind of feel freer sexually. I might never see this person or his way and you just start more open. You're like drinking tequila. So, but these are people who get to the airport because they're so goddamn excited about their trip that they have sex with their couples.

So couples are well known to get friskyed by traveling. It says the results of their poll, 2500 Britons was revealed that 10% of people have sex with a travel partner in the airport. So they can't even wait for the mile high club. And here's what they do in the bathrooms, gross. 76% have done in the bathroom, which they're always cleaning the bathrooms too. So you got to get caught. 21% decided to risk it all in the storage areas. And 12% of them were actually caught by staff or other travelers. When asked why they had sex at the airport, the most popular answer was because they were caught in the holiday spirit. While others said it was a thrill of getting caught in public. I have never once wanted to sex in a dirty airport.

Have you ever told me if you have? I'm a guy, so I've wanted to have sex anywhere. That's true. Okay, good point. It just amazed me, people with their sexual proclivities. But I guess, you know, if you have flight delay, you know, maybe I'd find something. It's a good way to kill time. You know what?

You said something last week on Love Line and it killed in this room on this side of the glass. We laughed. Everyone was laughing room on this side of the glass. Okay. We laughed. Everyone was laughing. It was one of the funnier things I've ever heard you say. And I think it kind of like just slipped by in there. And you were talking about how it's never really a bad idea to have sex. If you got two consensual adults in a room, it's never, you're you're using an example. You said, it's never like you ever have sex and you're like, oh, that was terrible. I wish I was reading a book. I wish I had just spent time reading a book instead. It was very fun in the way that you phrased it. That's true. I thought about it and you're like, oh, that was terrible. I wish I was reading a book. I wish I had just spent time reading a book instead. It was very funny the way that you phrased it.

That's true. I thought about it. It's like, yeah, do you ever finish sex? And you're like, what a waste of time that was. No, you're like, oh, okay, yeah. You do that with movies all the time. You do that with books. You do so many things.

You're like, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You do that movies, books, hang out with a friend who sucks, but sucks. And I was saying, it's funny. I'm glad I was funny. But we all laughed. Okay, I love when you laugh. But I think the thing is that what we were saying to that

caller was that that that so many again, this is probably our most popular call that we ever get. And question is like, what would it what do I do my wife, my partner? She doesn't want to have sex as often as I do. And it was like, you have to compromise on your relationship because you just can't say no to sex for months and months because you need that intimacy people don't realize It's not like you could put it on the back burner for months because that's actually what connects you its biology and you need it So I was saying for women it's like going to the gym. It's like you put your shoes on and you know You never like a boy to go to gym. So I was saying like you sex just do it. Okay, make a compromise just have it

You'll be fine and then you could turn on whatever you want more television or fall sleep or roll over or leave or leave um so that's my thing about that oh I'm glad okay so anyway this is our topic teasing you've been teasing at all all absolutely what do you think about teasing like do you know what I mean by that does it make you annoyed like really more for play because there's more to it but like when I say teasing you know I don't know let's let's continue let it, but like when I say teasing, you know, I don't know. Let's continue. Let's go further down. Okay. I just think that teasing gets a bad rap because like, first of all, all your life, you're told like teasing is a bad thing, like as far as like teasing a friend or teasing someone, don't make fun of them.

But teasing in sex is like the best thing since sex, actually. So teasing is the best way to start something, you know, kind of steamy, you saver, you saver that like suspense, the excitement. And like, you know all those like, when you first start dating somebody, and it's those moments leading up to it, like we were talking about the anticipation, like those delicious moments, really like the first date you like make out, and then you touches your breasts. And next next time like you know you're going to have sex or whatever it is, wait a month, two months. And it's like that savoring, the anticipation, the sexual tension, that's what makes sex

so great. And then I think people in long term relationships think they can't get that back and they miss it. And they're like, we just bang, we come home, we do our thing, we do our thing. But this is what keeps it going and you can't actually make this happen if you're in a long term relationship or a new one. Because I feel like people are sort of choosing between like the grass of his greener, like I'm in a relationship, it's steady or I'm married and I love my partner, I'm ready to be together forever, but I never get to have that newness, that excitement, that thrill,

you know, and then people are like me, single, I get all the time, but it looks lovely sometimes to be married and have that person to come home to, to fall asleep after sex, but they better cuddle. So anyway, I'm just going to give you some tips here about how to, you know, I love, we've talked a little bit more, I can tell you, I love teasing, I don't like to be teased. You don't. I love to take the other person to the verge and I can't mess with anything. And I prolong it and go everywhere, but that spot that they want.

That's it. I like that, but I can't say that I really enjoy it being done to me that much. Okay, that's interesting. And I've heard that from men too. So I've heard a lot of men say, like, no, just go for my penis. It's pretty much just like putting a stake under my nose

and then take the words and then just say, you you're like, give me a blowjob now. Don't like just like go near, but for women, you're right. And this is the best way, first of all, women will have more orgasms this way because you're turning them on all over. The ideal situation always is that you want her begging for that. You touch that spot. Like if you put like nose down in the clitoris right away, mouth down, it's not gonna feel good ever.

So the ideal again is her bagging. So you wanted her to be like, I can't take it anymore, I just want you to have it. So that is the art of teasing. You gotta draw it out as long as you can. It's like, you know, the best thing in life comes to those who wait. And I think that is all about the tease.

And the beauty of teasing. Again, for many, we're like, um, so tired of the four play. I think I got an email about that today. It's some guys like, I'm just tired. I can't wait 40 minutes. You get exhausted. My penis gets limp. The best thing is it when you amplify the build up, you're going to ensure a greater

climax for both of you, definitely for her. And she's more likely to orgasm. And it helps you slow down. I always tell people that sex is all about, a lot of it, is about slowing down that we move so fast, so you can enjoy the journey of sex, rather than just the destination. And there are many people in the sex world, sex expert, sex whatever that say, you know, shouldn't be all about the orgasm. And I believe that. I believe that we are so orgasm focused and I talk about it a lot, but really the whole central part of it can be very exciting. So teasing is something that starts before you even get to the bedroom. So let's see your art of dinner, your own date with your partner. Little footsie. Little something something. It can be, you know, a little footsie dinner, you can be just talking about

sex at dinner, or you could be like, God, you know, I keep thinking about last time we were together, that felt that was so much fun, the way we had sex in your living room or whatever it is. You could drop little hints on the car way home, you can start touching them or massaging, you can start rubbing your leg pretty much anywhere and anytime they would strike you, you can even start thinning the sexy, sexy texts before the evening. Or even the next day after you have sex. Like, I always say that sex starts, for place starts after last orgasm. And you know it bums me out when I have sex with a guy for the first time or second, and they don't let's say.

I want, I want them to to and I have this in college Two I got really mad at my college this guy in college He was a friend's a benefit guy, but still I want like the text or a call not a call no one calls But just be like that was great last night But if you've sex with them for the first time and you actually like them I don't know if guys are waiting three days still because it's friggin idiotic if if you've sex with someone This is a chick thing maybe, but I just wanted that one chuck in.

You know, that was fun. I liked it. We connected, currently. Like the next day, it goes into a 24 hour period. You better like, come back. I kinda like wanna wait for a straws off your lunch. They should always swoop back after five minutes, make sure everything's cool.

And how pissed are we when they don't? Because you're like, I need ketchup. I've not touched my fries and they're cold. So why didn't you come back? The, I guess you'd call up the next day and we can't, how was it last night? Yeah, good. Yeah, that's kind of a sweetest thing.

Okay, and my analogy is if you sweep back three days later, it's cold. Yeah, it's cold and you're obviously just coming back to the well because you need to get off again. Yeah, it's rude. So just say, and then I remember in college, I was doing this guy for like a year and then we had a friend's benefits thing.

Oh no, maybe, I don't remember. Yeah, and then we slept together for the first guy for like a year and then we had a friends of benefits thing. Oh no, maybe I don't remember. Yeah. And then we slept together for the first time in like a year or since you brought over and you didn't call me in this. And I remember saying to him like I was mad at him on the bar as I can't. I just want to call. I just, you know, and it's funny because it was a long time ago, but I guess I still feel that way.

So anyway, I feel that way. I get what you're saying. It's like if you're going to go that far you're going to be that far Physically with somebody you should be there emotionally as well at least for the refractory period You're pretty for like a 24 hour period. Yeah, and then you're free to leave. Yeah, never text me again But your penis was in my vagina so for 24 hours you guys are a kind of Kindred spirits. I invited your penis into my vagina and at least you could do say you had a good frigid time I later not not like five minutes later, and then you're off the hook.

Five minutes later is great too, during our cuddle. But like the, okay, after the little cuddle there, but then like the following day, you want them to reach out as well. Yeah. Before the 24 hour period. Yes. I think that's reasonable.

Thank you. I think so too. And if you don't, if a guy doesn't Emily, there's some guilt. I think they might be some guilt, yeah. I think he didn't like it. Like he did a wrong, he didn't do a, maybe he shouldn't have. Maybe it was a mistake, and he just did it in the heat of the moment now

He doesn't know how to approach because whenever I've sex people they always tell me it's the best I'm not talking about you necessarily. I'm talking about oh Sorry, it's not about me. You're right early might not be that into him like that book. He's just not that into you That's a message girl So if he's not calling you back within 24. Oh my god, That's a message, girl. So if he's not calling you back within 24 hours. Oh my god, it's a message. I have so much to say about that. Actually, he's not that into you and a little bit more about teasing, but first a word from our sponsors, who I love. Oh, I have to tell you this, Anderson, speaking of our sponsors. So I've been feeling lately, like I'm just friggin exhausted. And as you can see, very stressed out sometimes, not right now.

You seem totally fine tonight. No, it's not actually not fine. But I just feel like I need to hit the reset button on my body. I don't know if you're feeling like that. I just need to start over and be healthy. I've been feeling sluggish, tired, and even when I sleep 10 hours a night. And I have actually learned that you can be weighed down

by up to 25 pounds of toxic waste cooped up in your vital organs. So I'm actually doing this new cleanse, which I love, because you don't have to starve yourself. You can eat well on the cleanse. It just has all the benefits I need in my life right now. And it's called D-Eurbs. And I'm on their full body cleanse,

and I just started it, which turned out to be the number one selling cleanse online over the past 10 years, which I'm glad, because I did heavy research into this. And it's not some crazy concoction of like the lemon juice and the cayenne pepper. Did you ever do that? The lemon juice cayenne pepper thing? I did it. They're like, drink this for 10 days. Like I did it like before burning man when I wanted to be like super skinny. And then you're just starved to eat everything inside. This is like doctor tested approved. And I've got, you know, oh, What's the call? It's called D herbs.

D-H-E-R-B-S. If you're English, it's the herbs. The herbs, or herbs, right, herbs. They say herbs in English. But, so I'm doing the two cleanse, which actually everyone in my office is doing now, because I thought we should do it all together. And it has all the benefits I need.

I found them, like I said online. So everyone in my office is doing, which is kind of fun. We have to get rid of some things in the office like chocolate cookies. And it only takes 20 days. You flush out all your toxins and you have more energy and if you want to lose weight, you will lose weight. So it's a full body cleanse and you'll be done before you'll know,

before you even know it, you'll be done. 20 days is nothing. 20 days. I could do anything for 20 days. And you'll be in a better position for long term health. What's it in tail? Okay, so you take like they send you this box of pells and you take the different pells every day like this is like a series of them that do cleansing for you.

That's it. I can take pills. There's a few things you have to cut out. They suggest you cut out caffeine, some sugars, stuff like that. The basic things that you want to cut out if you go on a diet. It should be doing that anyway. But diets don't work and this works because I know people have done cleanses and they're like, and I read about the two.

The chest and water is not like a BS test and money, but you actually do feel better. Improves your health, your clear, your skin, the whole thing. So I just say get clean and lean with me. Do it with me. So go to d herbs.com, the letter D H E R B S dot com. Check it out. Type in promo code Emily and get a discount today And it's only for my listeners. That's d herbs or herbs dot com

You can also call 8664 d herbs and you will have started this by the next episode. Oh, yeah Yeah, I'm just starting by the next episode So I'm gonna like and then my people in my office my team. We're gonna come in and talk about how we're feeling I just got to be a fun thing. Oh What do you want me to get you about? Seriously? Seriously. Okay, I'll wrap it up. Okay, yeah.

No, you could do it too. No, seriously, dude. Okay, I would love that. You're beautiful. Also, flashlight. Sorry, I got, I'm so freaking excited about it. Okay, so flashlight. It's the number one sex toy for men.

As you know, can you even name another sex toy that makes half as much sense as using a flashlight? It's a male masturbation sleeve. I know you've got your hand, I know your hands are working for you, but what if I told you that you could experience something that's like feels just like sex and not like your hand and it's a different sensation. I mean I know that I have 60 vibrators and each one gives me orgasms and makes me feel different and I just feel like it's men are sort of cheated out of this experience. They don't get to feel it. So what I'm saying to you is you got to check out a flashlight.

You'll have some of the most mind blowing orgasms in your life. And again, no guys ever said to me, why did you give me that? They all said they love it. And so I also want to say they're offering this new thing for my listeners for limited time. If you go to my website and you click on the flashlight banner, you get their award-winning flash-loop, which the lube is awesome to use with the flashlight. So check it out. Go to sexlm.com, click on the flashlight banner and putting code Emily, get the

lube, get the flashlight, change your life, have more orgasms, have a good time. Let me know about it. Okay, back to teasing. You used that across the break. Thank you. I'm a natural. Some things you might not know. I'm gonna tell you how to do it. You have to remember that when you tease the pre-seduction part, it's all about the pre, right? So you have a little eye contact. You can communicate your sexy thoughts if you're sitting across some dinner You can talk about you know what you want to do You can lightly start touching, caressing your partner to send those like subtle messages and seductively whisper in their ear letting them know what you're gonna do later and that might sound kind of cheesy to people like But first of all, I love when a man whispers in my ear,

kisses my ear, kisses my neck. It's it really, one of the top erogenous zones for women is their neck and their ear. I don't know about men, but do you like having your neck kissed or rubbed or stroked or anything? Yeah, I like any kind of contact for the most part. Okay, see you still.

Stay away from my stomach. Okay, good to know. And I feel like again, these are all things that fall by the way part. Okay, see you soon. Stay away from my stomach. Okay, okay, good to know. And I feel like, again, these are all things that fall by the wayside. Like when you're first dating guy, he kisses your neck, your chest, he slows everything down, and they just freaking stop.

And whenever a guy does that, now I'm like, oh, it feels so good. Like I try to reinforce it, but they still don't do it enough. So, you know, whisper words, we love words, women turns us on. You know what, it's because it's like the combination to the safe. And then once they memorize the components, they just kind of bypass it, you know.

They do bypass it, they'll like, okay, already know how to give it a orgasm. So I get first, I got the stuff scope out, they got their, you know, their ears up to it, they're doing it real slow, trying to figure out the exact number. Once they learn the numbers, they just, they don't even necessarily push them

or even look while they're pushing them, they just get in. Exactly. And it's annoying because again Women and again, I'm not saying every time you're gonna be like yeah, I'm gonna be in can't time and sometimes we have a cookie nothing or the cookie And this could all take 10 minutes, but I'm telling you it will be more it should be more likely to be pleased Relaxed it also relaxes us because stress is one of the biggest killers of people sex driver men and for women

So if we're all stressed out, that's how you might turn you down for sex too. Because we're just like, I'm not ready. You've got a boner. I'm tired. You know, so if you just start this stuff all day, you're more likely to have sex. So, and also, I always say like something I've noticed in relationships is like, what happened to the slowly undressing? Like, I feel like it's so sexy to slowly take off clothes. It's to admire our lingerie,

even though what I found is that men aren't that interlonger. They just want to act. I've got an intro. And I'm not even saying I'm wearing like matching and I went out and bought it special, but like the feeling of fabric and like touching my breasts right now,

the feeling of fabric over our like breasts or our vagina. I don't love that. What do you use for the word there? I don't know. I got to be in terrible thing to say is a doctor of sex that I don't like the word vagina. Hey, what do you call over my panties? Rub over my panties. Rub over my vulva. It's a vulva is a technical word and in fact in sex school, they don't say vagina. They say vulva for the time. The words of baby come out of the vulva. No.

The vagina but no one says vulva. So anyway, the vagina, when you rub fabric over it, like I remember actually being turned on for the first time with a guy in my parents living room when I was like 17, my high school boyfriend that I lost my virginity to before we had sex. I remember him rubbing me over my pink satin underwear. And I remember for the first time feeling turned on down there, like feeling like I could have an orgasm. And so the fabric just feels for a lot of women.

I mean, if it doesn't let me know, but just when you lightly touch over that, it feels great. So what? You didn't know you could feel good. Oh, you might have no one had the idea of it, but you didn't actually experience it. I never had. else. Well, I didn't rub myself through my underwear I didn't masturbate till I was like the first time you had a sexual feeling. There's another person in the room there with you doing it to you

Yeah, no the first time that someone rub my over my underwear that a sexual feeling that is so weird Why cuz we all get to as guys we all get to ourselves I know you guys are so lucky you guys have boners that like when you're five, I get it. But for women, they don't. So again, it was the teasing. He was lingering over at times. You just leave the underwear on that feels good. You just move it aside. That's really hot. So, you know, again, we all have the tendency to tear the clothes off and I just think, you don't need to. And then when you're, you know, completely naked, there's just one thing left to do and that's of sex. So just take the time, linger in your lingery,

linger in your clothing for a little bit. Also, take time to appreciate how your partner looks, partially clothe, and again, enjoy the fabric, and men might not be as into this, just undress her at first. If you're into it, have her undress you. Okay, so here's the kissing. I gotta tell you what kissing.

Kissing is one of the first things that falls by the way side in relationships. In long-term relationships, we all have heavy make-out sessions in the beginning which turns on and then eventually stop kissing. Like the make-out, the heavy make-out. Do you find that to be true and you don't have to talk about your wife?

But in relationships in the past. Yeah, kissing is one of the first things to go. It goes. Kissing is the first thing you do. And it's first and it goes. The first move, yeah. And it connects you. But as long as you keep up the pecs, I think.

No, no, open mouth. Oh, you do the French stuff. You try to do the open mouth. You do that. Yeah, you do. You really do. So make the most of your room out. It's one of those pre erotic sex activities

that gets chuffed aside. Chuffed aside, in this race we're talking about the orgasm. So mix up your kissing techniques. You alternate between like soft kisses and light kisses and long deep kisses with lots of tongue. I think the tongue is very important. A lot of people leave their mouth closed, but I kind of like the tongue thing. And yeah, don't you think? Yeah, I listen

You're talking to somebody who's got an oral fixation. I'm constantly I something in my mouth whether it's I'm smoking or You know a swizzle stick. I always got something drinking But I you know, I've dated a number of women who don't have the same oral fixation I do in fact they kind of find anything in the mouth kind of yucky. They don't have the same oral fixation, I do, in fact, they kind of find anything in the mouth, it's kind of yucky. They don't want to kiss? Yeah, I mean, you know, they're not big on it. I've dated a few girls who don't, you know,

they're not big fans of the time. You know what, that's fine. There's someone for everyone, like if I was like, I'm just thinking of the ladies that are listening. They're like, yeah, I get it, but I don't really like the mouth part. I got it. And you must understand that everything I say in the show

is not for everyone because we're not nobody No two people have the same exact sexual desires So you might hate kissing you might hate your laundry being touched through your underwear on your vulva That's fine. I'm just giving suggestions here and one of these might hate you. So you know check it out Also, so here's the thing about the kissing we can bring your tongue into it and heat up other parts of your partner's body as well, as you slowly, playfully lick around the ears, neck, the origin of the sound, like I said. Let your tongue, let your tongue kind of trail down her body to other origin of the sounds. And then I always say like no teeth, I guess it's during blow-jumps, but don't be afraid

to use little nibbles to see how your partner responds and then you can build up to harder pressure, like little nibbles on our stomach, her inner thighs as you get down there. And then the power of touch, the sexiest T-sessions are the ones that draw on all the senses. So here's the thing, when you remove one sense, like for example, if you blind fold someone, all the other senses become heightened, which is like, why are we say, we experiment with a blindfold, or like a necktie, whatever you have, the less your partner can see, the more they feel, which makes every touch more pleasurable. And like, their nerves go crazy.

So for example, let's say you just put an act every and I don't know if you'd be into this at all, but you put an act every part you can do with your girlfriend, wife, whoever. And if they don't know it comes next, you can use like a feather and rub it across them. I was gonna bring up the feather. Yeah. Let's go ask if you if you like the feather. I love the feather. The feather is good. And then there's those little balls on the chain. They look like those, what do they call those those balls those silver balls that come down from a channel they're like chains that you get at a hardware store but they're I

can't explain it I have no I put it over your pocket forget it but the balls yeah they're like these little ball things that they're like oh beads like I think we put dog the dog yeah yeah Yes, I know just talking about that. Things right. That can feel really good. You use different sensations over their body massage candles. That is a great time where the heat of the massage of the warm oil on their body, they'll be like, well, I mean, it feels just incredible. Then you give a massage and then you can put an ice cube in your mouth and trail it down their back.

I mean, these are often fun things you can do, especially if someone's blindfolded because they won't, again, know what's coming next. And these are just ideas for things that you have around the house. And also, if you want about my candle, Emily and Tony dot com. The great can I love those candles. And also, I would love another one. I have my tongue. And we should also specify, you know, as far as the feather goes, don't just go out in the backyard. No, no, actually, you should actually get one of the big black plume types. No, right. Get a big one And they sell these kids actually beginner bondage kits at good vibes again If you click on the sex that only banner, they have all these stuff and they'll come with like a feather and a tickler and all these little things

Little rubber things. It just feel good and it's again. It's really sexy the best teases again are when you feel like you can't control it anymore and Your partner's just like begging Like desperate for it desperate. So what guys are saying about teasing. Doesn't that make more sense? But I get that you might not want it. Some guys might like it though. Like what about if a woman's giving you a blowjob, right?

And so with this bother you, so she's going down on you, right? I haven't met you in comfortable. She's kissing your stomach. Kissing your stomach. She goes down there. Don't just don't kiss my stomach. Okay, okay, you're stomach alone. Okay you. Okay, leave your stomach alone, okay. But she's put your penis in her mouth

and she's like, going at it. And then she like stops and then she, you know, starts kissing your inner thighs and she starts to give you a hand-on maybe or whatever. That's good. And then she goes back to the low job and really intensely and then she stops. Like, would that bother you?

That'd be okay, that'd be all right, yeah. Okay, so that's teasing as well. Yeah, in fact, you know what, yeah, I've experienced where like I can tell that they're keeping me from finishing so that they can go longer and say, yeah, it's alright. Yeah, okay, good. See? I'm so glad we figured this out. Alright, so some emails from the people.

We have time for about- I feel like we should take some missions from your listeners on different words for the vagina area and get you one that you're good with. I feel like we should do that. We have. Okay. Okay. We actually, but we don't have them now, but we just found them today.

At some episode in the future, because as far as I can tell, you don't have a good word that you feel comfortable using for the old vagina. Next week, we're going to be talking about like, we have like all these euphemisms for vagina that we just found. That's hilarious. I love that you just said that because we were just talking about in the office like five minutes ago. Okay, that's so funny.

I don't like the word twat. I just want that to be known. I want to say twat. I mean, what do you say like pussy? I guess pussy. Pussy is terrible. Well, that's like sex. Like when you're like doing your own

like when you're when you're dirty talking pussy. My mom taught me cunt was the best one. You know, I was a kid. Oh, no. Was she wrong? Oh, yeah, you're kidding. I'm kidding. I know you are. Okay, so here's a question about how to one to use. Oh, no. Was she wrong? Oh, yeah, you're kidding. I'm kidding. I know you are.

Okay, so here's a question about how to touch your breasts. Hi, Emily. My question is about breasts. More specifically, how women like to have them touched. I heard recently that it really bugs women when men come after their breasts like they're checking a basketball to see if it needs air. But none of the women I've been with have ever told me how to touch them in a way that feels good. What's the secret? Thanks. James, that's a really good question.

Why? Why are you looking at me? Because you're like the master, the breast master? I'm the breast master, I guess. Yeah, I'm just like, what? You're the breast whisperer. Well, a lot of guys aren't. I'll tell you that. They let you know too. Pretty quickly. No, the the breast themselves, the nips, like, when they get hard, you're doing good quickly. No, the the breast themselves the nips like when they get Yeah, hard. You're doing good jobs, right? But let's like a team squeeze it like don't turn it Don't do the there's not gonna squeak for you. So stop squeaking. Yeah, but I know guys do the turn on the thing and grab Don't do that. So here's the thing you always want to go start really slow touching the breasts Don't grab them because that actually hurts or we're not warmed up

You can um, what you uh, so don't use your nails on her breasts. Like if you've longed, you should always trim your nails first of all. Just guys make sure because there are injuries, sex wounds that happen with people sticking their nails inside and touching nipples. Don't slap her boobs unless breast unless you want to, don't treat them like toys and don't use rough, rough biting unless she asks you to. Now, nipple orgasms are the second most common form of orgasms among women. You might be able to give her a nipple orgasm if you heed to some of these tips.

So first touch her breast while she's still dressed. So a little bit over her clothing, that feels really good. And then slowly take her top off, linger a few moments and then do some kissing, you kiss her chest, start kissing her breast, and then on-class her bra, and start with very, very soft touching before you get into squeezing or nipple play.

You can cradle them, kiss, brush up against her breasts, and also using your hands. You can make the nipples tense, which you know how to do this. Place your fingers on either side of the nipple. Push down slightly. Okay, there's a thing. I wish you could see me right now. That'll be on Thursday nights. Push down slightly and slide your fingers apart. Move the breasts in slow, so you get everything you push down slowly and you side your fingers apart on either side of the nipple and then you move the

breasts in a slow circular motion start gentle and take her lead on how she likes her breasts to be touched so if she's moaning and she's into it that'll feel good. Wait I don't I'm watching you and I'm confused. Okay so here's her nipples. So you're doing like the spot or a piece. Okay doing the piece sign right. I'm putting it on our nipples. Okay so So you're doing like the spot or a piece. Okay doing the peace sign right putting around our nipples Okay, so it's gonna be inside yeah Exactly and then I'm just sort of moving the breasts around and like circular circular motions So you got the breath on yeah, like kind of you can touch or breath play with them squeezing between your fingers slightly

And then move your breasts around tickle the sides of the breast feels really good dainty be you know what? I treat them like they're big round penises. Or like your balls. Or your balls. Yeah. OK, at first, now some of them, you know, there's nipple clamps, there's only one of the bruts. I'm not saying that that doesn't exist,

but if you don't know the breasts, right, that's next level. Use your mouth. OK, here's the thing. Use the tip of your tongue to circle around the nipple. That's really hot. If your nipples are a are erect like all the nipples that Anderson comes into contact with, you can harden your tongue and flick it back and forth and slowly take it in your mouth and begin to suck and nibble on it.

Suck then release her nipples while inhaling so that comes. Okay, this is really cool. So if you're sucking on her nipples while you're inhaling, it creates this like icy sensation. And then when you stop, you can blow on it and it's warm air. That feels really good. That's advanced level shit right there. Hard your suck and you blow. That's not hard. Well, what was running in the adult story you had in your kindergarten across? Oh, Kaden Cross. Yeah, she was talking about, you know, kind of getting your tongue and your teeth a little bit. It was a nibble in between,

and it kind of went on a little flick, flick, flicky. Yeah, exactly. Flick with your tongue. But again, she actually did it to your finger. Oh, that's right. It's pretty sweet. I enjoyed it. We've a video.

She said it also works on your clitoris. Madison just reminded me. So clitoris and the nip. It does work on it too Yeah, but I'm not saying you bite down you nibble. Yeah, you kind of do like a little pressure with your tongue and the top of your Tear the tongue flick works with the Clitoris and the nipples. That is a great point And also here's another thing don't just Stick to the breast per se you can also lick the space between her breasts under her breast.

lick it. These areas do not get enough attention because guys are like two seconds on the nibble, the boobs, and then they're penis and you're vagina. So I'm just saying we don't get a lot of tension there and they're very sensitive to the tongue. So James, I think that's a lot of information there and now you know to the breast, right? All right, that's what we've got time for today. And remember that you can always, and also the video about Katie Cross,

I was gonna say that I have a YouTube channel. And we're gonna start putting more and more videos up there. So you can just check out it and subscribe to my YouTube channel. And Anderson, thanks for being with me. Thanks for having me, and I'm so much. And check out all of his podcasts after zester and film vault.

And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? E-Mommy, feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, everyone, thanks so much for listening to the show about teasing. Well, I've got something that has, has T's written all over it. Have you ever heard of a massage candle? I talked about it briefly in the show, but it looks like a regular candle, but it instantly

turns into a massage roll, and you kind of got to see it to believe it. I know that I have them lit in the office every day, just as a room, like, throw a room with therapy candles, and everyone stops by, they're like, oh my god, what's that smell? Because, again, it's seductive, so again, if you don't, you're like, I don't want to give a massage. You can just buy them, it's seductive. So again, if you don't, you're like, I don't want to give a massage. You can just buy them because they're seductive for sense. And it's the mist. So what you do is you blow it out,

you blow out the candle and it pulls, the oil pulls, and then you slowly pour it on your partner and you give them a massage and they massage you. And I just used them before I left the office because my hands are dry and I rub it on my body and it sinks in and it feels great. And they're all like natural. It's like coconut oil on my body and it sinks in and it feels great. And they're all like natural. It's like coconut oil and soybean oil and it's a great gift.

And if you love me and you love my show, you can support me and you can buy one. It's Emily and Tony.com. Use coupon code Emily. That's Emily and Tony.com. Use code Emily. Thanks for listening. Thanks for listening to The Sex with Emily Show. I love being able to help you have the sex life and relationships you deserve. And I want to give you the best show possible, so I really appreciate you supporting our sponsors who help keep this show free. Let me tell you about Promescent. Did you know one in three men suffer from premature ejaculation? Well, now you don't have to. Promescent is a quick absorbing delay spray that allows you to have the sex you want. You don't have to even think about baseball

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