Sex With Emily - The Best Dating Advice You've Never Heard

Episode Date: November 26, 2014

Tonight’s podcast explains why taking your dating OFFline into the “real world” will increase your odds of finding a match. Emily and Menace reveal the best places to meet people offline, and hot tips for meeting people wherever you go, even at the car wash.  Dating no longer has to be an either/or situation where you only date online or offline. Developing the skills to meet people in our daily life, outside of our computers and phones, is one of the key ingredients to success in life and in finding love. Is your phone keeping you from meeting that special person? Emily explains the importance of peeling yourself away from your phone and taking a long look around. Emily also shares some of the offbeat offline places she’s met a guy, including a used car lot, buying a couch on Craigslist and at a gay bar. Emily and Menace make it easy for you to ease into the offline world by giving you tried and true tips that work every time. In fact, sometimes the best way to meet someone is to look over, smile and say “hello.”  If you’re feeling fed up with online dating and are ready to try your luck offline, this show tells you how to make it happen every single day. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Tonight's show we're taking dating offline into the real world. You know, that old school approach, meeting people in your daily life, when you're not on your computer and you're not on your phone. I'm giving you the best tips for meeting your offline match and so much more on this episode of Sex with Emily. But first, everyone, thank you. Thank you for supporting the show and for listening to it.

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What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks? And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I feel so proud. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between.

For more information, go to sexwithemlee.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts, Senate for a mailing list, which actually, this is the month, this is the time that you want to sign up for a mailing list. If you haven't already, I know a lot of you do get our newsletters and I'm very flattered that you all love them because there are actually a lot of people email me like you give good email

because they're actually informative, entertaining, email blasts and these this month, in particular coming up, because y'all know it's the holiday season and I know you wanna buy your partner something special so we'll be giving you our top gift guides for men and for women what they really want. So check it out at sex with Emily sign up for that and you'll also get the biggest mistake you're making in bed if you're a man or a woman. And then also we know coming up

is black Friday, cyber Monday, all this stuff. So I'll be sending you some really good deals, gift buying, all that stuff. I don't want you guys to mess it up this holiday season and have your part and read Pisty you because that sucks Here with menace today What up menace how you doing? I'm spinning around in my chair. I know it was really cute You're like no I used to do that too. So my dad's often things to go and spin around in the chair But I get really dizzy. Oh, no, so what is going on? We recorded a podcast Not too long ago, right and I haven't seen you before that. I know. We talked a little bit about your dating life.

Right. What the hell's going on with that? Well, it's good. It's kind of heating up. I have to say, I've let that. Well, well, heating up, it doesn't mean that I'm boning. I think it's heating up means like, I always feel like it means like a sexual, but I'm meeting more people

that I like that are interesting. I have. How are you meeting people? I'm meeting people mostly offline, which is what the show's about. And since you meeting people? I'm meeting people mostly offline, which is what the show is about. And since I moved here, I've met people mostly been through fix ups because I'm so busy. My friends are like, oh, I've got the best guy to fix you up with.

That's so weird, do you ask or do they just tell you? No, I mean, actually, no. It's weird because it's old school, it's throwback. It's so old school. And I did do my one Tinder date that I recorded live on the show. And sometimes I go on tender just for fun and I'll get matches and then I forget to look. But I really, I like, I like meeting people in real life because I feel like you, so I've been going

out more saying yes to things, went in more parties, more stuff coming up. And I just feel like then you get to know someone that has a BS online dating better, like even just to meet someone online and then you create this whole image and then you're texting. I'm so freaking over texting. All these relationships I have, even if I meet them in person after they just want to text all the time. And I know I get it and I'm not saying that I want to have an hour long phone call. But do you know how much time I've wasted in my life just like trying to decide where to

eat for dinner and you're texting about a front hour when you can just pick up the phone and be like, do you like Chinese? I know right. It makes me friggin crazy. The worst is my sister does this to me because she's 22 years old. And I'll call her and then she won't pick up the phone. She'll text me back, she'll like, what's up?

What's up? I just called you, so call me back. Like, you know, I want to talk to you on the phone and just get this over with and not have this texting conversation for an hour What I can have a five-minute conversation. And does she call you then? Yeah, I've been doing that lately The people too and exactly it works Just pick up the phone your phone's not gonna explode like if you don't know the number

Guess what you're not gonna die if you pick up the phone No, you will not die and and here's the thing is that I feel like some kids some younger like 2012 I've heard they don't even set up their vo mail. Oh, I don't set up my voice mail. Right, but still, I get it. I probably shouldn't either, because he wants a little bit of messages, but like it's not even an option. Like, don't call, don't leave a message, just text. I get.

But that is like, what about human connection? This is how you get to know if you have chemistry and if you like somebody, if you drive with somebody. And so that is the problem for me. Not like, not, I'm not saying I won't online date in diverse five because I will, but I just think it's been interestingly, which is what inspired me for this show is that there is just so much of this like we're all bearing in our computers like and it's not even about a traditional dating

site anymore. It's about like, oh, this cute guy liked my photo on Instagram. So I'm gonna stalk them and see you in our Facebook. Now I know you probably have some stories about where's like the weirdest place you think you've met somebody that you've hung out with for a while. That's a great question. We just did it. We didn't just ask people this online about where the weirdest place I've met somebody ever. That's why I'm here because I ask you all the questions. Okay, the weirdest place I've met somebody in real life that I actually liked or just met. Yeah, it's like, oh, we met somewhere. I, a car wash.

At the car wash. At the car wash? Yep, buying a car once. Oh, buying a couch on Craigslist. I bought a couch on Craigslist. Yeah. And I ended up dating the guy and sleeping with him. What?

And I'm excited because I actually need a new couch. And I'm not gonna call him because he can have a season zone or anymore, but maybe there'll be options. So you bought a couch awesome dude. So you've hooked up with off Craigslist. Kind of, indirectly. I mean, I did not account. I didn't think. No, it wasn't that night.

It wasn't like, let's test all the coach, but let's take your couch for a test drive. It wasn't like that. Yeah, that was kind of weird because I wasn't expecting it and I wasn't even, didn't even look that cute. But that was still online. I need offline, so the car was online.

Well, he came to my house and I saw. Yeah, but the car wash, I was wait first of all. Okay, let's I know we're always comparing LA San Francisco, which could be boring for people, but like San Francisco, which I think it's actually fascinating. Not this part is particularly fascinating, but San Francisco and one car wash or two. Like it wasn't a big deal if your car was dirty, no one cared, but here it's like there's a car wash in every corner. There's a Botox on every corner. There's a hair salon, there's a tanning salon. It's all about your image and keeping everything beautiful. So when you freaking go to the car wash here, it takes like an hour. It's like there's a car wash in every corner. There's a bowtax on every corner. There's a hair salon, there's a tanning salon. It's all about your image and keeping everything beautiful.

So when you freaking go to the car wash here, it takes like an hour. It's a whole day. Yeah, it's insane, right? Yeah, so I was waiting for the car wash, for my car wash, my cute little car that I love. And there was a bunch of people there, and we all started talking.

And there was this one like really cute guy, you had a cute dog, started talking to him. And then he was like, hey, so what do you do? This is my biggest problem. What do I, when people say what, you know, to keep dogs, start talking to him, and then he was like, hey, so what do you do? Okay, this is my biggest problem. What do I, when people say what do you do, I just, especially in LA, because everyone's in her entertainment, I just don't wanna talk about it sometimes.

Just say your podcaster. Yeah, but then like what's it about? How can I find it? But I do, you're right. You don't give me wrong, but oh, we always like, here's the moment, I'm like, sexually lonely, and it's like, boom. Do they want my number,

because they think I'm, they're gonna bone me, do they want my number, because whatever, or just just cuz they you know, but it was a great conversation And we went out we had like two dates. I like them so far. All right. Yeah. Yeah, I like them It was a car rush. What about you? It was so weird no But going back to the car thing though like people in Los Angeles all they do is drive right yeah So they they'll live in the dumpiest apartment, but they'll have the nicest car. It's so true. It's crazy. They don't care about the car.

Perfect about where they live. Perfect example is, I love all the reality shows. So anybody that watches them, they have the VaynerPromp Rules, her show, which is on Bravo. And she oversees all these people that work at a restaurant, right?es all these people that work at a restaurant, right?

And all these people that work at a restaurant like don't have really nice apartments, okay? I'm not talking down to them about that, but they have super nice cars, right? Like, verdables and like, and they show their apartments so you know. Yeah, so you know, right? And it's funny because this past,

one of these past episodes that I watched their argument Like these two guys were arguing. I mean like they're fighting because like they used to date the same girl But but the art the whole like fist fight started because one guy was talking crap about another guy's car Like really like what like your car so 2012 Yeah, like do people like actually fight over that and they do here it's easy and I never been to any other part of the country where like I you know people take pride I you know I've been through the Midwest and hang hung out with people like oh my truck you know kids you know all this horsepower

and crap like that they they they love it and they work on it, but not like, they don't use it as like a status symbol. Like they do in Los Angeles. They do, and it's to everyone's got like a Porsche and Mercedes and BMW, a Land Rover, a Range Rover. And I go, have you dude, I'm rocking a Prius because I'm gonna get 51 miles to the gallon, you know? They exactly, right.

I don't care because you're gonna be broke as hell all the time, you're not gonna have money to put into your beamer, you know, I don't care because you're gonna be broke as hell all the time. You're not gonna have money to put into your beamer. You know, for gas. But how sad is that they've deliced this car and they can't they live in squalor? Not squalor, but like little apartments. It's insane. Because that's how people judge you here.

And I even get to the point where if I don't get that car wash. Yeah, but who do you, why do you even care though? I don't care. I don't give a crap. I don't care at this point. I'm saying that in general to people. Like why do you even give a crap. I don't care at this point. I'm saying that in general to people. Why do you even give a crap to impress some people

that are impressed by your car? Are those the type of people that you even want to hang out with? No, people sometimes can't get past that. They're like, oh, bad car. I'm not like that, but that's just how it is here. It's a good times. And we're also, I met somebody recently. Oh.

It's a strange thing. It is so funny because, well, you don't like it the good times. So, and we're also if I met somebody recently. Oh. So, I'm trying to think. And it's so funny, because, well, you don't like it because of a distance, like, you don't like drive. You, it doesn't matter where you live in Los Angeles or if you lived in San Francisco. If a guy lives too far, yeah, he's out.

For you, he lives too far. But here, there's like, even the area that you live in is kind of like, status symbol. uh, status. Yeah. And it's funny because I, I was moving to this area at like North Hollywood and like, I apparently, North Hollywood before I moved here was like really good. And get right.

And then so people are like, oh, you live there. And I'm like, what are you talking about? I live in an amazing apartment brand new, you know, right. And then I go to where they live and it's like a dump. You know, like, I have a pool, I have a nice place, and they live in a dump, because you get this 902, whatever. Yeah, airy coat, it's so crazy. And then I'm sure like women and guys won't date you

just because of the area that they live in. It's true, it is true. It's not because they're like you, because they're lazy and they don't want to drive this. Right, I just want to drive. But just because of the area that you live in, it's a sad assemble. This town is just everything that you think of, but it's not everything that you guys see on television.

No, but it's not that everyone's like that. You and I are good peeps. I'm not going to judge someone more they live. What do I care? I really, I never, I never, it doesn't even occur to me. I don't even notice those things. Yeah, but if you're a crappy person if you're a crappy person And you're in a car. Yeah, and you live in a dump

Then I'm gonna tell you that you live in a dump, but if you're a good person And you live in a dump like I don't care. Have you been to my new place? You haven't I haven't It's been a year now. It's cool. You like it though. It's cute. It's cute little call It's not like amazing and even my agent was like you need to know that you can't like you should move out of that place It's like it's a guest guest house but so it's like private so what because that's what everyone's about like where you live like who cares but it's a nice one and there's no guy cares where you live I know they like do you have a bed you can live in a basement it doesn't matter guys don't care

about that but we don't I know but why but women here have all the nice cars too it's not just the guy yeah No, I'm talking in general Right guys don't care. I don't care. You live this one make sure you're a giant So what's up with the uprise with feminism lately? Like in the past like six seven months. Give me an example Just like you know if you make fun of a woman then you're a sexist or you mean the whole slut-jaming and yeah and all that kind of stuff I think it goes both ways. I mean, I think it's been around for a long time, but what specifically? It's really vocal lately.

But what are you referring to in particular right now? Just like any, like, any type of story lately, somehow ties into feminism and like, shaming women. Well, yeah, there is a whole, like, slut shaming women or women can't show their breasts here or there and why can men do this sort of things. And I don't know how to hold movement, like the whole bully movement,

like the slut shaming and calling women sluts for doing certain things. Because every woman is very, not everyone, but a lot of women are all about like, we've talked about the selfies and being more provocative and people are judging them. And usually it's other women who are judging other women. Oh, always.

Always. So it's just, you know, I think that people are trying to send a message that, hey, it's like, who am I? We're all in this together. But it's so crazy. It's just like, let's say a person is in a certain position and they're doing a crappy job, right? But lately, it's just like, if you even bag on them for doing a crappy job, if they're

a woman, you're automatically a sexist. Really? Yeah, it's crazy. Well, this has happened to you directly? No, I just see it like happening in media and stuff like that. Okay, yeah. I mean, I think it's like a resurgence of like feminism. I don't know.

Yeah, you know what? Whatever. I guess I've always been like a feminist, I don't really. Yeah, no, like, then I'm, okay, I'm not knocking it. I'm just knocking the extreme over the top. You need to give me an example of what's to have. I need a good one. Look at that. Well, I tell you guys, I just need a, okay, also, I want to say, menist proper really good point. This is a few months ago that if you guys like our show and you listen

to it and you're happy with it, I would love for you. First of all, to subscribe and iTunes. So easy. You get two podcasts a week and review us the iTunes. Just review us. Five stars would be great. Or whatever you want to say. We'd love to hear from you there as well. Also, we have a poll, a little 10 question poll, so easy, and it's going to be on our website

and our newsletter and really need your help answering those questions. So, send it for my newsletter. It's sexathelme.com. And I won't like sell or barter your email address. I'll just send you really hot information that'll help you have better sex, because that's whatathome.com and I won't like sell or barter your email address. I'll just send you really hot information that'll help you have better sex because that's what you want. And I know that's what you want. And also follow me on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, which is sex with Emily A. Cross the board.

And you can also call into my shows now. I'm Thursday night specific, standard time, 830 to 930 PM, watch, listen, live sex to the ME.com, it's through you stream. And it's a pretty good time, because you can see what's happening here in the studio, which is really, really exciting all the time. And as always, you can always send us your questions. I love hearing from you at feedback at sexwithme.com. So what, today's show, oh, you found something?

I found something. I just Googled feminism and then news. Okay, what would you get? So, I mean, I know that there's been stuff, but I wanna know what I'm talking about. I'm just gonna go off and around, yeah. No, so did you hear about how a satellite landed on a comet? Did you hear about that?

Yes. You did hear about it. Okay, so a satellite landed on a comet four billion miles away from Earth, four billion with a B. B. And it took 10 years to get there, and the guy that did it and worked on the whole thing,

had to do a press conference after, and he just happened to be wearing a shirt that a friend gave him. And the shirt was just like, the whole shirt was just like sexy women, like, like looked like they're 50s, like pin up girls, like thing were 50s, like, pin up girls type thing, right? Not nude, nothing.

And the whole thing got taken away, like, this guy's been working on this project for 10 years, and all focused on his shirt on how his shirt was sexist. Because it was so inappropriate. It was series doing this great thing, and they're like, what, was it, is that nude? It's just, no, it's not nude. It was like, here, I'll show it to you right here.

Okay. Like, look at that. Oh yeah, I saw this guy's shirt. Okay, so whatever, he's a cool guy. They're not even nude, they're just women. They're just women. So people just couldn't even talk about his mission that he completed.

Yeah, and then so they ragged on him so much that the guy was in tears like sobbing, apologize. Oh my god, because he had no idea. He's like, I do these towards the vilification of individuals. Daniel, this is terrible. See, that's why people, look at this guy with the beard, he was crying, he did this great for 10 years of his life.

Yeah. You know, it's true. People can do one thing right now and it brings on your entire career. So who is complaining? Are they older women, young, who are? Who knows? I always love where it says,

people are saying, like people are, who are the people? Who are the people? You don't even get real news stories anymore. We don't even know what it's true anymore. No. And it's all crap. And I just feel like the women, I understand like women, we've come, definitely come a long

way and I don't think we're ever done fighting for female quality. It's especially when it comes to the equal pay for equal work. But there's a lot of, a lot of achievements that women have overcome and a lot of things. And I think that this type of stuff Takes away from it takes away from it step backwards. Yeah, absolutely like really work this guy just to this amazing scientific mission and we're focusing on it And he has a dumb shirt who cares? Yeah, exactly. He doesn't have a bunch of new women like giving phlegial on a shirt But I have a question for you. Do you think it's just like that that whole Mob mentality that fear like that whole mob mentality

that people are just kind of like jump on it? Like, oh, I hate that too. They want a part of it. Something of a movement. Like that wasn't an incentive. Yeah, I believe. Yeah. So yeah.

I don't think it really has to do with, I mean, they really that upset. Like someone brought it up and they're like, oh, I can see that. And now that everything is on display, like, you know, you can now see a picture of his press conference, but you can watch it live.

The pictures are in the same line. Yeah, then you can comment it on Facebook endlessly. You know, I just hate that he cried for his big mission. You know, I know what I've been doing. No, I know. It sucks. I'm so I'm gonna stop right now. But no, I, I, and I think that feminism has helped in a lot of ways,

but sometimes it also, yeah, that's all I'm asking. No, I know, but I know like, I know like some, some women might not even hear me and just think that I'm bagging on it and they're gonna want it. You're not bad at it. I'm thinking, choose your battles. Like, is that really a battle? This guy's a good guy. This is a battle that needs to be fought because you didn't like his goddamn shirt.

Yeah, that's what I'm asking. Is that like he was wearing like bikini inspector or something with a guy that was a kid who was a kid who was a kid who was a baddy. But that's, that's what I'm just asking, you know. Yeah, that's all. No, I got it. It's, it's a whole like, a bash again, anti, but there's always's what I'm just asking, you know? That's all. No, I got it. It's a whole like, bash again, anti. But there's always whatever. I'm just anti-fendism.

I'm like, where's really are we there now? I'm not anti-fendism. No, I'm saying, but that's everyone saying. I just don't give a damn. I don't care. Like people should do whatever the hell they want, you know? It's two people, like people, like, well, you know? Why don't we all just focus on the things

that are important and choose your battles in life and not focus on things like that Like this is a good fricking guy, okay? I'm gonna put it in my wrist. I mean people relax, okay? Like Bill Cosby. Sorry, okay allegedly So okay, so we're gonna talk about online day offline dating actually This is what online dating no, it's it's cool babe. I love you Online dating misses the mark some of the benefits of offline dating meets, you know, remember like 10 years ago before everyone was online, like the old meet someone at Whole Foods

or meet someone at the car, and how to date offline, because I think people forget it. It's not for everybody and some people are getting fed up with it and people just don't want to be attached to their computers and their cell phones. It becomes obsessive all the time. So I think that people treat dating as like an either or a situation like either you're

online dating or you're out in the real world. But you can't do both because you're like, I've been online all day on OKCupid and Twitter or blah blah blah. But I'm going to go out in the real world and then I'm going to sit on my phone and check my OKCupid profile while I'm out where I can actually meet some people and then I'm going to take a selfie and you're missing the entire opportunity of actually meeting people in the real world. I mean, if online dating is your thing, that's awesome. I am not knocking it, but that is not the only way you should be trying to meet people.

You should diversify because you could be online, but you might meet someone really great when you're walking to the bus stop or when you're picking up your dry cleaning. I've actually met someone at the dry cleaner in San Francisco. So you never know. So just put down your phone and take a look around because this example, my friends at this nightclub, he's like, I don't know what to do, there's 10 How Women with a friend of it, like a friend of a friend, he's like, and they invited me to their table. It was like some club, though,

like a bottle service and knowing L.A. thing. But anyway, he said, and these women were all cute, but they were like every 10 minutes, they were like, he's like, I'm just watching them. They were like, adjusting and retaking a selfie. But how are they meeting? I'm sure they're all single, pretty girls, they were like every 10 minutes, they were like, he's like, I'm just watching them. They were like adjusting and retaking a selfie. But how are they meeting? I'm sure they're all single, pretty girls. They were, how are you going to meet someone?

Really, you're not even paying attention. They don't, people are missing the real world opportunities that are in front of them, you know, like on the bus or wherever. So I'm not, again, not saying you shouldn't do a line because there are good points there are the laws of the people that you wouldn't normally meet. You might be more flexible in line or you might say meet someone that would never come across your path.

But there are some things you aren't getting from an online dating app that you could be getting in person. And we're talking about, like a real, pretty much- We're talking about men and women. Like, we talked about this again for years. We're like, women think that guys can pick up the signs like that women are interested in them.

No, they can't, they can't at all. They don't see it. You think, unless you're naked and making out with them, they, guys cannot pick up that you like them at all. That's true. But same with women though. I mean, okay, I know we talked about that study years ago that showed that men actually can't read the cues. Like, there's something wrong I mean, okay, I know we talked about that study years ago that showed that men actually

can't read the cues. Like, there's something wrong with their like, I don't know, their neural functioning or their pre-futur cortex or who the hell knows. The way they read signs from women, they're like, they can't tell. But then there was another saying that came out and said, women can't really tell either. So I think we're all kind of confused. And I think that we're not sure if someone likes us and we're all afraid of being vulnerable and we want to protect ourselves. So we don't put ourselves out there.

And all I'm saying is you don't have to walk up naked and throw yourself on to some guy. But if you see someone, just say hi. If you're at a bar, hey, what's going on? You guys haven't fun? Walk past their table or just whatever it is. Start practicing just by talking to people in public. Just saying hi. And it's funny because I have a guy friend who's been going to yoga a lot, because he's, you know, lives in the light.

And he's like trying to take tone down his lifestyle. He used to be like a party, Hollywood boy, and now he's like living in Venice and he's trying to like meet women, take yoga. Not, he's taking yoga for real, because he likes it, but he's like, oh my God, there's so many hot, friggin' women in yoga. Like, what do I do?

How do I meet him? And it was funny because I did a show a few weeks ago, which was really good with my friend, Tommy Rosen. If you guys want to check it out, it's about addiction and how we're all thinking it's something he's awesome. But he was saying, because he teaches yoga as well, that the best thing to do is if you go into yoga class

and you put down your mat, just, hi, hi, turn to your left, say hi, turn to your right to the person next to you. That's it. Then you're like, hi. That is the easiest way to look at him in the eye. You're not saying hi, I want to bang you, even though you might be thinking that, just, hey,

you know, there's, there's, because my friend was freaking out about like, he approached this woman after class and then he said he was all stumbling and nervous and it's like, don't overthink it. Just practice talking to people. It's because dating and learning to talk to people is a muscle that we often don't exercise,

especially if you're online now and you carefully craft your response to someone and you can delete and rewrite it and edit. And now it's just like practice because you're always going to need those skills of real life communicating. Like that's not going away. It's not like we're all going to be like in a bubble in our houses with our cell phones and our computers and we're never going to meet people again.

Like the real life interactions is here at the day. So I'm going to give you some tips for that. But first what? Not in, I know, here's another thing really quick. You said in Japan or something. No, I'm gonna say in Los Angeles, I don't think a lot of people go outside there else. It's weird.

But, I just a little quick side note. When people write emails to the show, I love if he still include like, how, where you're from. You know, because we always talk, We always talk about, oh about oh Los Angeles San Francisco. I love hearing about other parts of the country and other parts of the world that are listening.

So if you do email a show, say, hey, I'm listening from blah, blah. That's great. I remember you said that a few years ago and everyone used to include it, but now they don't as much. I know. And we also want to know,

I think, okay, here's another thing. Make it short and sweet if you can. It's easier for us. But I know you want to provide details. Tell us where you're from. Tell us sweet if you can. It's easier for us, but I know you wanna provide details. Tell us where you're from. Tell us how you heard of the show and or about with how you listen to the show. Yeah, like do you listen on an app?

Do you listen on sex at mlay.com? Do you listen through iTunes? I'm so curious, I just wanna know. Because I don't wanna, we were talking about being in a bubble, like being OLA, San Cisco, stuff like that. That's what happens to you where we are. Yeah, love hearing and talking about the other parts of the world.

That's true. It's fun. And also, you can also send me an email and we don't have to use your real name. If you're like, I don't need it, please don't use my name. I won't use your name. I'll change it from Bob's chalk. Make up a name.

Make up a name, I don't care. Or tweet the show, sex with Emily. Yeah, and I do a live Twitter chat, 1230-1 Pacific Serenity on Wednesdays, and I answer all your questions there. It's at sex with Emily, and I'm at sex with Emily. Yeah, and I do I do a live Twitter chat 12 30 to 1 Pacific Sarah time on Wednesdays and I answer all your questions there. It's at sex with Emily and I'm at sex with Emily on Instagram too. And so are you at menace not at mess. Okay, so but first a little bit sex in the news because I actually really like this one. Nisi Nash says oral sex saves marriages. A BJA keeps the divorce turning away. Do you know Neesey and that?

Okay, yes. Now I'm reminded by the story. She's an American comedian, actress producer, thinks that she's got the key to make marriages live. She does. I, blow jobs. Yeah, well, she said, she has a quote.

Do you have the quote in there? A BJ a day keeps the divorce attorney away. She's a stomach full. Yeah, yeah. Her book is called, chapter three. I keeps a divorce attorney way. Stomach full way way way. Yeah, yeah. Her book is called chapter three. I feel like she's okay, I'll read this whole paragraph. Okay. And I say that she says B.J. Day keeps a divorce attorney way.

I say that because I feel like men are profoundly simplistic, which is the reason I wanted to call my book what I used as a title of chapter three, which is Stomach full penis empty, a woman's guide to having lunch. Yeah. Full and empty. You think that's true? So I got to learn how to cook. I know how to give low jobs, but woman's guide to having a match. Full and empty. You think that's true? So I gotta learn how to cook. I know how to give low jobs,

but I don't know how to cook, as you know. I know. Fuck, I'm screwed. Okay, that's cool. She continued, keep him fed and drained. Sounds like a cow or something. You have no problem. We are really more complicated than they are.

And I think that women are more generous with oral sex because we nurture by nature. We wanna be pleasing by nature. That's an idea. Yeah, finally somebody that gets it We are more complicated than they are men are so simple Don't tell me that they're not dude. I say this all the time just give them a blowjob But I think that men are more complicated than they like to give up and we maybe sexually you would love a blowjob when you walk in the door Yeah, but what do you mean? How's a man complicated explain? I think that's some men, many men, maybe not you, but there are men who are more complex

emotionally and have emotional. Babies, right? No, not babies, but they have like real, like, but heard about things and they communicate things that they need and they get their feelings hurt and they don't not express it, which is why I always say you have to learn to communicate with your partner about everything, not just sex. I bet when they're a kid, they played games where there was no winner. We're raising a society of pussies. I'm sorry.

I agree. I agree with that in the way. I think that every kid now is told that they're the best and they're the smartest. They're going to do great. There's no competition. I know. And then when they don't do well or they get rejected in real life, then they freak out. They don't know what to do.

They have a breakdown. Exactly. It's so true. They don't excel right away. They're not told to keep going because their parents always coddled them and told them that everything was great. You'll be a star. Yeah.

It's all messed up. And so what's so interesting, she says, is that women are more willing to have conversations about, do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children? Then we are to ask, have conversations about, do you want to get married? Where do you see this relationship going? Do you want to have children? Then we are to ask, what kind of sex do you like? What do you into there? She told the magazine.

So she's saying the same thing I'm doing is that a conversation that a lot of you need to dive into, if you're gonna be with someone for the rest of your life and they're failing to meet your sexual needs, this is a great. If they're failing to meet your sexual needs in a relationship slash marriage, it's like doing a slow dance with death. We need to

make sure we can get and re-meat right there in the middle because people get married and they do not talk about their sexual desires and needs and whatever and it changes over time and they sap communicating and they're dying because they're not having sex. Yeah, they're dying. It's certainly like any blow jobs. Okay, but first we come back, we're gonna be talking about this whole offline dating thing, but first a word from our fabulous, amazing sponsors. Okay, Promescent will help you last longer in bed.

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And you know that she might be telling you, I don't know what I want or he's saying, I don't know, but you know what everyone wants more sex, okay? A little bit more sex if you're in a relationship and how do you keep it interesting and how do you spice it up is by going to good vibes.com. They carry all the only the best sex toy brands out there. They're all tried and tested and they're like body safe materials and they're the most like the most innovative toys on the market. So if you go to sexwithme.com,

click on the Good Vibes banner, I have a store, and you'll see that every product in there I have tried, trusted, and I recommend to you there's stuff for couples, like the Wevi Plus is a great gift for the holidays because you get a remote controlled vibrator that you wear during sex, which is cool. There's also one called blue motion.

It has an app. There's all these techie events that like if you're in a long distance relationship, it's like vibrating panties. And you could be in Chicago. And I'm here in LA and you could be vibrating my panties when I'm out with my girlfriends. See, finally, see, I was so ahead of my time. I know it's really cool, right?

Yeah, I know. We talked about these. Finally here. But you also wanted to make a toy called the dump truck. So, well, still that one has not that has not. I'm just the the scientists in Japan and just can't keep it from catching on fire. I know. But the thing is technology to go back to that self-driving cars. I was just thinking about this when I was in Vegas, not too long ago. And I was talking with a group of friends in Tesla is going to have a self-driving car.

There's like Audi and butch other car manufacturers. Imagine this, you're driving from LA to Las Vegas on the freeway. You could be having sex in the backseat. I know we talk about that. I'll trust that at all. I'd be so nervous. Because there could be a technical glitch, just like my friggin' iPhone right now keeps calling FaceTime and three people at once

that I don't even want to talk to, that I hate. The rows random people I FaceTime. Yeah, but I mean, they'll get it down eventually, you know? Yeah, but I don't wanna be in the first round. I don't wanna go off the road having sex into a ditch on the way Vegas with some dude with the biggest penis in my mouth, bite it off because the car went off the road.

But I like the concept. And my biggest dream is I ever get really wealthy. If I make a lot of money, I want a driver because I hate driving. So I would want a car that drives. I get it, but I don't trust it yet. Yes. And you go to Vegas all the time, so it'll be good for you.

And you can blow jobs all the way. And I wish that for you in your future. Thank you. You're welcome. Okay. I'll love to get a driver too. I know wouldn't it be awesome? Well, Uber Uber is like America's driver now. Yeah, I um, but my my dream is let's say every day. To be with you every day. If I won the If I won a lot, I I wouldn't quit doing morning radio because I love morning radio. But my dream would be to have a driver like Howard Stern and just sleep in the back seat until I got to the radio station instead of driving there. That would be amazing. He's only doing three shows a week now. I heard two Howard Stern.

Yeah, but it doesn't matter. The guy's earned it. People say, oh, he only does three shows a week. He's doing, oh, he's always on vacation. So what? the guy's earned it. People say, oh, he only does three shows a week. I know, if I do, he's doing, oh, he's always on vacation. So what, the guy has earned his way in there. So everyone can, everyone can, everyone can suck his dick. I know, I can only talk into it. I'll suck my dick. I've been doing 2000 freaking podcasts. Yeah, come on.

We've been doing this a long time. Yeah, we have. I love you. I just want to have that. Thank you. I love you too. Yeah, we have I love you. I just want to thank you. I love you too Okay, so Offline dating it's funny though because even when we started the show We used to talk about this all the time. This was like a top topic. I was thinking about this was that like

Just say hi to everyone you meet like I said earlier like me every opportunity every time you go out as a chance to meet someone And then it just has been so focused on like Tinder and Facebook and everyone meets online now and three out of five marriages start online. There's a new one called the grade. I'm going old school. Yeah, there's this new one called the grade. Have you heard about it? Yeah. They just like launched like two days ago. What's the grade? The grade is supposed to like help weed out the creeps. So if a guy gets rejected at a certain amount of time, he gets banned from using the service. Really? Like if he sends it a weird message or something?

Yeah, so if he's setting like dick picks and stuff like that, then he'll get banned from the service. Okay, and just dating service. So if he just gets, let's say he has a normal profile and he just keeps on getting rejected and he's trying to like hook up with chicks, it goes both ways to women too. The app is like, oh, he hasn't gotten any play.

He's out. Yeah, he's done. It's harsh. Yeah women too. The app is like, oh, he hasn't gotten any play. He's out. Yeah, he's done. It's harsh. Yeah, they call it the harshest app out there. That is. But it's kind of weird. We're talking about offline stuff. We're talking about meeting up bowling alleys.

Well, here's a study that came out. And it says that more readers reported finding this was from, this was from CNN, I think. More readers reported finding their, this was in the study, but from CNN, I think more more readers reported finding their, this was in the study, from CNN, I think, more people, readers of the stuff, people of the pool, reported finding their prospective partners through friends or family than any other method.

So 70% met through friends and family, 61% online dating, which is still significant, 61% met at bars, 45% at work, 11% other. So I think that it's really interesting. And then what is it? 11% says meetup groups and 8.5% social media. So I guess that's a pretty big stretch for online. But 70% through friends and family,

and honestly, I do believe the thing about online dating that makes me a little nervous sometimes is that I'm glad there's a creeper app out there is because you have no context for someone. You just sum online and usually if you, you know, if it's through a friend or family or whatever, you know that this person can be bagged out. I like men as he fixed me up with the sky. So he must be good. Then there's

no context, right? So I think that meeting through friends and family, it's like, I think friends do family and then through work if you can handle it. But work can be tricky, but yeah, I believe in it. Yeah, I mean, don't pick somebody that's like side by side with you, but like maybe somebody in the building or something like that.

You mean like the sign in your department maybe? Yeah, yeah. And not your boss or your assistant. That can be bad for you. Totally. Totally. Well, at least, if you work there, you have common interests and stuff like that. That's true, but then the problem is we figure out.

Yeah, and also, do it in a workplace where it can be your life career. If you're both working at, I don't know, let's say fries electronics. OK, they got a call in your mouth. They don't have fries electronics throughout the country, but place where they sell televisions.

Right. And maybe that might be a good place to meet somebody because hopefully you're not gonna wanna work there for the rest of your life. Okay. You're gonna wanna do something. Something might, but yeah. Some people do, they may get a career choice.

We're saying you're a transitional career. Yeah. That'd be a great place to meet somebody. Don't you think? Yeah, I think so We're saying you're a transitional career. Yeah. That'd be a great place if somebody. Don't you think? Yeah, I think so. But when you're younger, you don't know. Like even if you were going to restaurant and it's like always drama like someone's sitting with a bartender or whatever.

Other restaurants like everyone's sitting with. Everyone. I mean, I'm college. I was a cocktail wait just four years and I was sleeping with a bartender, but I only slept with him, not the other bartenders, which I was quite proud of. But yeah, I guess you can meet someone at work, but here's a deal. So it's as simple as making eye contact and flashing a smile or knowing when to back off

and when to stop talking so much. People have an easier time picking out an emoticon to display the emotion they are feeling than rather than showing it on their face. So this is a body language expert and founder of the nonverbal group. And he's talking about technology right now that people are like spending so much time

crafting these messages and they don't even feel their emotions right now, but they can have an emoticon to express it, right? Unfortunately for the last 10 years, he says people have been really confident behind the keyboard of their computer, but when you see them in person, things are different. And now it's just talking about the stealer day, actually, with my girlfriend, because we're

talking about some guy in radio, and she would say, oh yeah, he would write emails, we'll talk about business stuff. Emails are crazy, but when I saw him in person, he could even say one word. Right, because he was even say one word. Crazy, so she awkward. Exactly. A lot of people have, and I think that for people who are predisposed to be socially challenged, a lot of people get anxious and are nervous or social anxiety, it's really, really common. But I think people would overcome it more because they had no choice.

We're in public, we're going to part, we're not online, and now everyone's, for these people, especially, who are not as good to part, we're not online and now everyone's, for these people, especially who are not as good at communicating, they're not getting the practice they need because they are hiding, they're not growing in their skills. And if you don't challenge yourself, you do not change yourself. So that's just great.

Yeah, if you're just outgoing these days, it is just crazy on like how people respond to that, you know? If you're not outgoing, you mean in public? Exactly. If you're not going in public. Yeah, if you're not going in public. I mean, I feel like people are like killing off their social skills all the time by hiding behind their computer. Totally. It's like it's gone. So that's why I want you guys to, I want you to get it back.

If this resonated to you at all, I'm going to give you some ways that you can actually get these skills if you've never had them. And I think that also that people are thinking, well, I don't even need them, or the older you get and the more you mature. And if this particular issue has been to you a long time that you're afraid of talking to women or men or just being out, it's gonna get, it's gonna exacerbate, exacerbate over time if you don't deal with it. So, online dating is one tool that you could use,

but I think as a society, there is still a real, organic way to meet people, like what we used to do. So okay, we're online dating Mrs. The Mark. This is how I kind of brought it down. So this is online dating. We can get very overwhelmed with choices and options. There's so many sites, so many apps, so many people, and it can become a full-time job,

and it's so long or fun, or become addiction, refreshing your Tinder, and I have friends who've been on a and are like you know you know or any okay cute but it becomes a obsession and you're connected to your computer and it's also we waste time and people mess up when you waste time going on dates with bad people because or the wrong people because they miss represent themselves we create this image of who the person is in our mind before we meet them and then people you, you know, you meet

in person, you're like, Oh, God, I just texted this person for three weeks and I met up with them and they're awful. So you're wasting your time rather than meeting someone in person, where you're like, you can tell not that person can kind of bring a jerk, but at least you know if you've chemistry and you connect. And you've no point, like I said, you've no point of reference who they are at all. If you meet online, I'm not bashing online. I'm just saying we're going to bring you to the other part. Yeah, because you can build yourself into whatever you want to be online. Absolutely. You can show a picture of 10 years ago and online dates tend to be a little bit flakier. Yeah. Maybe just easier to flake online because there's no repercussions because it's just online. It's also limiting

because online dating, you can sort by what you want and maybe you put in there. I only want a guy who's this height or makes us much money but you might meet the man your dreams and he doesn't have any of those things. What? I mean, what have you lied about on your online profile? I have not lied. I've never really dated a line. I haven't lied. I haven't. I mean, what do you put on your Tinder? Let me see your Tinder app. Oh, I didn't put really put anything on it. I put oh gosh. Okay. I put in. Okay. I'll tell you what I put. All right. All right. You know, you know, you know, it says tell yourself in 500 words or less. Yeah. I put in 500 words or less. I couldn't even explain to you What I'm about or something, but I thought it was fine. Wait, what are you really getting like in my Tinder right now? Yeah, I couldn't even explain to you what I'm about for something. But I thought it was fine.

Wait, are you really going to get my Tinder right now? Yeah, I want to see. Don't edit it right now. No, because I'm not. Dude, I don't even know how to edit. I'm just trying to find Tinder. I don't like my Tinder now, because you're going to be mean about it. I'll show you after.

OK, so also we have false expectations. Again, we think this person is great based on their profile. And here's another rule though, if you are dating a line, do not text the person for weeks on end before meeting them. I say like a week and under is when you should meet and don't keep texting and learning all this stuff about them up to the day. Because then you're not packed. Then you show for the date. You're like, oh, so you went to school here and your parents are like, yeah, such a bore. It's fun being on a new date and meeting new things. About you.

Just learning, yeah. And just learning and growing. So that's that. And then also, OK, you might miss out on, oh, premature, that's some time. Premature escalation is a term that I coined for the New York Post. Because they were timing.

Do you think that people spend too much time communicating with people they don't even know? And I said said yes, absolutely. It's like a premature escalation You start to like really get into this person and you might even start sexting before the first date And you just got to stop it medium person don't waste your time and see if you like it or not. I know right like people are are setting like Like dick pics. Don't send me a dick before even meeting a person. I know it's insane It's insane. It's insane.

Okay, so here's some of the benefits of offline dating. I know they do this. Sorry, when I think about dick pics, do you think it was yourself? Yeah, all my dick pics. No, so we, on the radio show that I do in the morning in Los Angeles, we do a thing, a Craigslist segment. It's called Craigslist Freak of the Week.

And I always have to, like, look through all the ads, look for the craziest ads online, and then we read them freaking the week. And I always have to like look through all the ads, look for the craziest ads on mine, and then we read them on the air. Oh, online dating. Yeah, and all these profiles are so ridiculous because you'll see one of them like, oh, I'm really trying to find the love of my life. I really just want a sweet girl, and then just dick pick.

Like the guy who sends a dick pick. Well, there's like, there's's a profile and it's like, oh, this guy is actually really cool. He's like, I don't really want to find somebody and have a deep passionate relationship with and then at the bottom, they're just a dick pick. I know exactly. Like why?

I don't know. Some, I think they just think, I don't know who those men are. I don't know if they're like, that's the kind of information it would have. It's like diaper fantasy and all. Well, there's a lot of that stuff. There's fetish sites for that.

You can go to a FET life if you're in FET or anything. But we're trying, it's funny because nowadays, like we're trying so hard right now to do a show about offline dating, but it's so hard to even have this conversation without going back to online. I know, that's why I'm gonna give you little tips here. So, because offline dating in real life, what you see is what you get,

there's no surprises in the physical department. It's not 10, 15 pounds ago that this person posted a picture, there's less opportunity for someone to miss, represent themselves. You're not gonna be wasting your time as much because you actually get to meet someone and know if you have chemistry. Because chemistry, no matter, he could have great punctuation and spelling or she and you could be like so into their words and with the writing you and they could seem

amazing but when you meet them in person, if there's no chemistry, it doesn't matter how great his mouth or whatever it is that turned you on in the first place. And then nothing like, sorry, going back to online real quick is don't try to hide yourself. If you're overweight, I'm overweight, been overweight for a couple of years, right? And if you try to hide that online, you're never going to really find a good quality person to hang out with because- Just show your full beauty. Just show yourself full beauty. Just show yourself, like, who cares?

And then finally, that will just weed out all the people that, you know what, don't really want to know you for you. They just like, oh, he's a fat guy. I'm not interested. Well, you know what? I'm not interested in chicks that just want to know. Right. You want to be with someone who wants to be with you.

Yeah, I want to be with somebody that's super super cool and to hang out with and stuff like that. And it goes vice versa. Like guys are like, oh, I'm not as attractive as it, you know, who effing cares? Just show yourself and don't hide behind. And then when you put in photos, or photos of the sunset or group shots, or photos from 15 years ago, you got to get over that.

If you really like our online trying to find somebody like show your true self and you will you'll find somebody and then but it goes back to in person. In person, you don't. You need people. Yeah. Don't come for them. It's true. It's like if a person is talking to you, they then you're like, oh my God, I'm showing my true self

what I really look like in this person's time. And my personality. Yeah. And they might not have picked your picture. Yeah, and I'm actually having a real life conversation with this person. And then you're like, wow, they're really interested into me.

And that's way more satisfying than lying to them for weeks on end and then finally saying, oh, by the way, you know, I'm 100 pounds heavier than I really am. Exactly. Okay, so also when you date offline, it extends your social network because you can meet new people.

Like I said, outside your comfort zone, it gives you challenges yourself to grow because if you're hiding in a computer, you're not growing with Netflix and dating apps, people just don't go out. They're like, I'm gonna watch Netflix. I'm gonna do a long dating. So if you force yourself to grow because if you're hiding in a computer, you're not growing with Netflix and dating apps, people just don't go out. They're like, I'm gonna watch Netflix. I'm gonna do it on dating. So if you force yourself to go out, like I always say, say yes, if you're in a slump right now and you have it, many one, say yes to every single invite you get for the next 30

days. No matter what happens, just say yes. That was like my misadvised thing, but it was true. I said yes to everything. Yeah, and then there was the movie about it. Someone said that. What was the movie? Yes, yes, man. Yes, man. Okay, see, I made that up first, and I...

With Jim Carey. How it was that out for? And he ended up with Zoe Dishonel, so that's kind of cool. Exactly, you could be end up with Zoe Dishonel. Also, you get better communication skills, because people with poor communication skills tend to hide behind online dating. They never have to develop the ability

to actually talk to someone. And it's easier to stand out. So with online dating, there's just way too many options. And if you get out there, for every great guy, a girl is about $500, you know, $500 others that might just be like, a few swipes away. But if you're out in public,

you can make a lasting impression and you can show who you are. And that's what you're about. And so it's not just reserved for the nighttime. I think daytime is a great time for me people. Like I know all these people are meeting in bars and I'm not saying you're not gonna meet in bars. But sometimes you can just meet people

when you're, you know, on the street and you're walking to lunch in the same area wherever you work. And so whether you end up going with dating them or not, it could just be a new friend, doesn't it be your soulmate, but you might meet friends or friends. And so I just saying, do it during the day. Think of every opportunity that you're in public

as an opportunity not just to meet someone you're gonna bang next, but it is an opportunity to make new friends, new contacts, new connections. And if 70% of people are meeting through friends and family, if you're making more friends out there, you're more likely to meet someone. And then you can have like barbecues and stuff. Yeah, totally.

I mean, come into my barbecues. I love a good barbecue. I love a good barbecue. I never get invited barbecues here. What? I don't know. I love a good barbecue. I love a good barbecue. I would never get invited by a barbecue's ear. What? I don't know, I would like to go. Are you having one soon? No, but the comedian, Ralphie May,

if people know who he is, he sent some steaks over. He sent me this like $150 steak. It was called the Tomahawk steak, and it was delicious, cooked it up on the grill. Well, my girlfriend did, because she's more a man than I am. She is, more a man. She's not half the girl. Yeah, she's like threw it on the grill. Well, my girlfriend did because she's more of a man than I am. She is, more man. She's not half the girl. Yeah, she's like threw it on the grill and stuff like that.

And it was delicious, but just like having an atmosphere of a ton of people around makes you more confident, you know, in speaking to people in real life. Exactly. I know it's a little tough when you're on your own and you're going into places, but you just gotta be like- But if I've seen you meet people, you meet your people. Again, the thing that I've been saying on the show for years, you're not gonna die if someone

doesn't wanna talk to you. Nothing bad is going to happen to you. Just say hello. So just go say hello, how you doing, where are you from? Right. Hi, how you doing? How's it going? Oh, where are you from?

And then, there you go. And then hopefully, I think there's been a very rare occasion in my life where somebody says, oh, I'm from here and I have nothing to say about that. Right, no, that's a good one. Or I've never been there, I hear it's nice, though, or whatever, but usually you have been there, so. Like a little, no, or just like a little fact.

Like, you took history, you know, you know, something about Vermont, you know, something about Florida, you know, it know something about Vermont, you know something about Florida, you know it's crazy and they have gators. So is Florida and Texas the craziest stuff happens in the world in Texas? No, like that's always, I'm telling you, it's always a good opener like,

hey, how you doing where you're from? Yeah, that's always like, it's gonna lead to like sexual acts and you're gonna hook up with that person. You're gonna lead to a connection and then you're gonna have a conversation. And you're gonna have a conversation sexual acts and you're gonna hook up with that person. She's gonna lead to a connection and then you're gonna have a conversation. And you're gonna have a conversation.

Yeah, you're gonna have a conversation. So also, here's the thing, let your friends do the work. So you're married, practically married friends are an untapped resource because they want everyone to be married like that. Do you ever notice your married friends are like, when you get married, when you get married, that they want about their couple thing.

Some of them lately know they're like, they're like, they're miserable. They're like, don't get married. I, oh yeah, they're almost a worm israel. But if you get them at the beginning of their marriage when they're not, I'm kidding, not all miserable. I know you guys are happy married. But basically they have your best interest in hearts.

So they know a lot of single people. They might want to fix you up with them. So let your friends know just like when you're looking for a job. Like, hey, if you know anyone cool, and then maybe that next night they'll meet a single guy in the big A or single woman and they'll fix you up. Yeah, I know like 50, 50 with me with friends that are married. What do you mean?

That they love it. They love it or they're just like, but don't they go back and forth? Like they love it some days and they don't love it? I don't know. The ones that hate it have been pretty consistent and it's not like they hate the person that they're with. They just don't like not having. What don't they like about it?

They don't like being able to be in other women? No, it's not even the sexual thing. It's just like, oh, not being able to just go do what I want. Like, I wanna go home and I wanna sleep. Or I wanna, like, I wanna go eat at this place. So it's always like, I don't wanna perform, I'm kinda like, it's just 20 minutes.

Yeah, well, it's just always compromise. You know, when you're in a relationship, you always have to compromise. Everything. Everything, like, the movie that I wanted to go see this weekend. I wanted to go see Interstellar, and I go from wanting to see Big Hero 6. So what do we end up seeing?

Big Hero 6. Big Hero 6, because I, you know, really, I don't really want to fight over something, like I'm not gonna go crazy over it, but it's always, not that it was even annoying, but it's just like, it's just an example, like, when you are in relationship, it's just compromise, compromise, compromise. And then we're in a binding relationship, like a marriage, like, yeah, you better, you can't even get a right. You can't even get a right. And oh, and the people with kids,

oh my God, they've been, they've been on a rampage telling me how much they hate the kids. How old are the kids? They hate the kids? Yeah, like five. Well, this is challenging. I think it's, you know, people don't tell you that how difficult kids are going to be and talk about your independence. When you're in a relationship, you

do have to compromise and when you have kids, like your whole life goes towards the kids. And when you're single and a lot of people are delaying marriage or saying single longer, we're so used to being able to do to have a hell we want whenever we want that we're like, really, like, really good. I got to take care of somebody else. Yeah, it's really hard.

I think I would think I had a dog that was really hard. Also, see just some other tips to explore your interests. So get involved in an activity that you enjoy. I don't care if it's like hiking or painting or freaking wine tasting, creative writing, take that class, you know. Do something that's a little bit different. You can go, you can take a sunny day if you take a class, you can have a sunny day.

Go find like, mind a people with similar schedules to yours and similar interests. And then afterward you'd say, hey, you wanna grab coffee after? I've had a lot of guys like after yoga or after like, class, let's all grab coffee. And it's like, actual guys are creepy, that's what.

But no, but even after like, classes I've taken, like, let's get a coffee and it seems sort of benign and like, I don't know the these days, and it's cool. And sometimes I like them, sometimes I don't, like let's get a coffee and it seems sort of benign and like I don't know the leaves hit the end, it's cool. And sometimes I like them sometimes I don't, but we become friends. And then also you want to put yourself out there. Online dating is safe, but taking the risk is half the fun.

Online dating is not always safe though. Open yourself up at the possibility of meeting someone, just say hi, treat every time you step outside an opportunity to meet someone, every time you leave the house. Taking know, taking a dog for work, dog parks, it's a great way to people. Oh yeah, did you get picked up by the dog park? I did, I did, I loved the dog park. Guys are just having those dogs just so they can meet chicks.

It's so true. I've seen so many, so many guys in LA with like cute little dogs and like, I can't hate all the time, they're like every time. So go to a dog park, book stores, sporting events, sporting events are great. If you're, if you're chicken sports and you're like, like, yeah, sports bar, money, night football, whenever the hell football season ends, is it now?

It's now. I know my friend. She's like the shyest person ever. Like, doesn't like being around other people in public, but she's really in a sports. So she went to a sports bar and like her team was winning and she ended up making out with some guy at the bar.

And she's like the shyest person. And what sucks is that she's so shy, like when people meet her, they think, this chick is a total bitch, you know? But she's not. She's just like, she was the friend with the sports bar and hooked up some of it. Well, she had like a few drinks

and she's at the sports bar. She's like making out with the guy and like meeting people. It's fun though. It is fun sports. Again, it's like common interest. Common interest. Exactly. Another thing I did in San Francisco was we used to have these single parties.

Like all of my friends would get together, bring the single guys you know. And they were really fun. I mean, me and a bar and eventually you hook up. That's a really fun thing to do. We all going to go in anyway. And then like I said, say yes to everyone, everything. For the night. you know and they were really happy with me at a bar and eventually you hook up. That's a really fun thing to do. It's like we're all gonna go on anyway. Yeah.

And then like I said, say yes to everyone, everything. For the next 30 days, just say yes. Go out to things even if they're random. You're like, I'd never do that. I really just come in front of Netflix and try to find someone online. Just say yes and go to the whatever it is. Barbecue or the weird art event or whatever it is. Because the bottom line, no matter how great someone's

like punctuation is, or their writing skills, or their ability to Photoshop their photo, there's no way to tell for sure that you're gonna have the thing with someone cause it can turn a friendship into a lasting relationship or chemistry. You will not know until you meet them in person. So I'm just giving you some inspiration.

There's nothing like going back to, like people that listen to us all over the country. They don't maybe live in a major city. Maybe they're in the middle of nowhere in America, you know? If nothing's going on in your town, like take that trip on the weekend and go somewhere, not in a plan, like, oh, I'm gonna go and I'm gonna find some chick and I'm gonna get laid like three hours away from where I'm, because you're setting yourself up for failure because you're putting too much pressure on yourself. Just go and like experience talking to new people. Right.

And I have to say that this is coming from I'm being honest that I was in San Francisco for a long time and I had a lot of friends I worked in a lot of different areas and I always kept up contacts and I have to think about that. A lot of the you know my long lasting friendships and people I ended up dating were typically through people, like friends of friends that I knew or they'd invite me to a party once a year and I'd meet someone there. So it is really good to expand your social network

and stay in touch with people that you just meet once. So you're even if it's like, I've gone on blind dates with people and then became friends with them and that, you know, I'm just saying, it's just good to practice those skills of just, you can have friends, you can be friends, men and women can be friends.

I know you don't really think that, but they can be. Yeah. So if you go out with a guy and you're not crazy about him, maybe it'll be friends. Yeah, I don't think in like in their 20s, it can be friends, but maybe later on. Well, they really can't, right? I don't know, I guess I always could,

but maybe I had more guy friends in my 30s, maybe. Because everyone wants a bono, but then they still do in your thirties. But then if they have a girlfriend sometimes or a slash boyfriend, it's easier. But then once they break whatever, it's confusing. Okay, the other thing is, okay, that's all we have time for.

Oh, the other thing is we don't have any time. The other thing is, oh, we have no time. Okay, great. But I love you all. And I love everyone, my listeners and people for listening and for supporting the show for almost 10 years, Manus, we have to do some big thing in 2015, which is actually not that far.

I wanna go with you to this convention. The sex toy convention? Oh, yeah. The avian. Yeah, do you want to? I always wanna go to that. But the, another thing is, I, Mr. Skin, I might have to go with you this time

because I was so pissed at you. Last time you went, you barely took any photos or put them up on Instagram with you this time because I was so pissed at you last time you went you barely took any photos Or putting them up on Instagram. So this time this time around I Want like toilet thrown in the toilet Okay, this year all right, we'll forget we'll forget about it. We'll forget about it, but this year I Want like see a bunch of photo galleries and all that kind of stuff. Oh, I want you to see that's all I've ever wanted to Instagram like crazy

Hey, see you're dwelling on the past. I'm talking about the future right now. I didn't take it. Yeah, I get a keynote There's a new one. There's a there's a new one this year. Don't bring up the darkness of the past You're dwelling on the past right now. I'm trying to think about the future So I can't wait to see all the photographs I've taken. Tobagus? It depends on when. It's like in January. January?

Yeah. Yeah. Something. I was spending New Year's there, so I just stay. Get hopes. I wish. I just spend the years out too. OK, minus I love you.

Everyone can find minus at minus Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, what checkout is show. Can they podcast it if they're not there? Yeah, the Woody show. It's on iTunes. I heard it. I heard. It's on, um, I I hear a new. I heard all my friends. I love it. It's not really. It's not sexy.

We just talk about like everyone's into sex like me. Yeah, we talk about like pop culture and stuff. No, people love pop culture. So if you want to know a lot about like Kardashians and you know, dude, you find your dream job. That's all you talk about. If you go back to our shows like 200 shows ago, 300, that's we used to talk about the Kardashians a little bit. Yeah.

Now everyone talks about the Kardashians. Yeah, so we've got to talk about some of that. You were cutting edge. OK, thanks, Menace. And thank you everyone for listening. And happy holidays coming up. Everyone, keep checking. Remember to check out my website.

I'm going to be having lots of gift guides there, send it for my mailing list. And you'll also get the biggest mistake you're making. But five biggest mistakes if you're a man or a woman. And I just love hearing from you all. And I hope you're all doing well and thanks for listening was a good for you. Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay everyone thanks for listening to the show and I got one more thing to tell you that you know it's the holidays and you might want to buy your

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Sometimes she might not be in a sex or he might not be in a sex whoever you're with. And you just use a slushlight, it feels a little different. People freaking freak out about it. And and if I had a penis I'd be using it all day long So I want you all to check it out too and for my special sex with emily listeners You must go to sex with Emily calm Click on that flashlight banner and they are giving all my listeners if you buy a flashlight you get their award-winning Flesh loob, okay?

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