Sex With Emily - The Best Sex (Toys) of Your Life

Episode Date: February 14, 2015

It’s that magical time of year again - Sex toy review time!In this show Emily gives you her picks for the best sex toys on the market. She and her assistant Madison give you an in depth review of their newest favorite, that has the power to turn your penis into a human vibrator. Intrigued? You should be!Emily also tackles some of your hottest sex questions on vibrators, backdoor play, friends with benefits, and the politics of trading sex for gifts. Plus, what unexpected texting habit might lead to you getting lucky?Whether you’re looking for a toy to share with your partner, one to keep for yourself, or one to help you discover new realms of pleasure, this show’s got the best sex toys for all occasions! This is one sex toy review podcast that you do not want to miss.. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Today's show we're talking sex-tory views, the best toys on the market that you need to know about, and we're also answering all your hot sex questions. Thanks for listening. Book into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our secret institutions. Betrubize they call them in a bygone day Hey, Aveline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute Hey, girls, gotta understand, oh my

The women know about shrinkage Isn't it common, not only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrinks? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here, I'm so gone Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just playing with.

You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information go to sexwithemily.com where you can listen to all of our podcasts and consent on our mailing list. What you really should do, because you know, we give good emails and you should also subscribe to our podcasts. Do two podcasts a week, you can do that on iTunes. Really really easy to do and what you're there. You love the show You like it whatever's review it speaking your review

I asked if his survey I just put out and the survey you can find on our website Sexorathletely.com and it would take you like two seconds and I would just love to hear from you doing the show a long time Want to hear what you think of it? What you love? Maybe think you don't love what you can't imagine because this but maybe there are and I want just love to hear from you. Doing the show a long time, wanting to hear what you think of it, what you love, maybe think you don't love, what you can't imagine, because this, but maybe there are. And I want to hear, you know, what topics you're interested in, all that stuff. So thanks everyone for listening. I'm here with Anderson. Yo, yo, yo.

Yo, yo, what's up Anderson? This is a special night. This could be our last night in the studio, right? Ah, I keep saying that. I keep thinking that. I keep wondering. But I don't know. We're going to keep sneaking around. We're all around the place. We're kind of homeless right now. I'm also here with Madison. He's my producer. Hi.

She's been on the show a few times. Madison's awesome. And so yeah, so we are in the former love line studio. We've moved to a new studio. I don't even talk about where we are. We're just going to. Yeah. Why put it on record? I'm saying is because there's a youth stream camera right now. I got to explain something. That's true. So right now. I gotta explain something. Oh, that's true. So right now, well, it's cool. Who's paying attention? So right now, we are, people are watching us on youth stream, which is awesome. Hey, what up?

So for some of these people, we have some information that we're going to be talking about tonight, like Valentine's Day, which is next week. But when this airs, the podcast, it'll actually be February 13th. So some of these deals will be gone. We talk about certain toys and stuff. But some of the tips we're going to be on Valentine's Day are still relevant, yo. So that of these deals will be gone. We talk about certain toys and stuff. But some of the tips we're going to give you in Valentine's Day are still relevant. Yo, so that's why I got to say on what day? I would say what? Is this coming out on which day? Valentine's Day. You say Valentine's Day funny. How do I like Michigan person? Like you're

from the Midwest. Valentine's Day. That's when my long day comes out. It's cute. Hey, thank you very much. Yeah, I think I've kind of lost the accent that when I moved to California, everyone was like, where are you from? I couldn't get a word out, but I think, you know, every once in a while comes in like that. So, yeah, we're talking about Valentine's Day. We're going to be reading your emails. What?

Valentine's Day. What are you doing for Valentine's Day? Anderson, any big plans? No, I do nothing. I pretend like nothing's going on at all. Come on. I hate it. Does your wife hate it, too? Because if you guys agree upon that, that's totally fine.

She doesn't necessarily hate it. No? No. Dude, you got to do something. OK, what else? The mess. And you have a boyfriend? Yes.

What are the plans? I don't know. I actually put things in his hands this year. I let him know about a week ago. I was like, hey, I want you to plan Valentine's Day. And I'll just show up. And he was like, OK, because that like, hey, like I want you to plan Valentine's Day and like, I'll just show up. And he was like, okay, because that's, well, you know what? Typically, if you go back to the origins of Valentine's Day, that's kind of where it was

in the man's hands. Last year, did you have to plan it or something? Actually, actually, sorry, now I've caught your long as, actually last year we had like a really awkward Valentine's Day where we had like gotten in a big fight and like almost broken up, like maybe like a week before. Oh no. So things were very like awkward and up in the air and then he ended up, we ended up pulling through and went to like a nice dinner and everything.

But nothing was planned ahead of time. It was kind of like the day before Valentine's Day. I was sitting there like, are we even going to celebrate it? Yeah. Am I what? You're saying Valentine's Day, Ron? Oh, please Michigan. You got to say, be Alan.

Valentine's Day. Yeah. So, but this year, okay, so hopefully it will be good. You know, I'm being, you know, Valentine's Day, all I got to say about it is, I have no opinion either way. I'm not in relationship right now and I am quite, I have a sense of relief that I have to do anything. But listen, whether you love it or hate it and if you're in a relationship, do something.

Like just stay home and make sure you have sex that night. Maybe you should disconnect, say, you know know what let's just have a night without our cell phones without Television without taking selfies and just hang out together the two of us and like make dinner and not do anything like do something different and then It is a day about love and romance. That's what it's about so, you know why don't you have some awesome sex that night start with some for play a little bit beforehand for play all day text your partner something you're looking forward to seeing them, try a new sex move, try one of these toys that we're talking about. I mean, do something that's romantic and different. Get hotel room for a night, or stay at your friends house for the night, doesn't matter.

Because one of the big things about sex, why does get stale in relationships is because people have sex in the bedroom all the time. And if you do anything in the same place all the time, it's going to get a little bit boring. So, you know, have sex in the couch. I don't care. Do you have something different? So, what are you going to do in your own home? Yo, M.

What? If you're my wife, what you're not, you would know that every day is Valentine's Day. Oh, God. In my household. And I don't have to treat anything differently. You are funny. You're very funny. My mom is stupid. It's like Mother's Day. It's stupid. Because I talk to my mom and I don't have to treat anything differently. You are funny. You're very funny. My mom is stupid. It's like Mother's Day. It's stupid.

Because I talk to my mom on the way here. Hey mom, love you. How does things? Do that's sweet. You talked to your mom all the time. Valentine's Day is for old married couples who I've lost touch and it's an excuse to try and be in touch again. No, I don't think so. Mother's Day is for people who hate their moms and never talked to her. No. I used to say to my mom when I was little, like why isn't there any kids day? she said, every day is kids day?

Did you guys have that conversation with your mom? My mom used to tell me that all the time. I think that's like a mom thing. Yeah. So, okay. We're gonna get into your emails and we're gonna read the section in the news right now. And yeah, so we'll go into

and the lifestyle's contest first, we'll talk about that. Okay, so I've got a new favorite condom and I wanna share it with you all. Oh, and if you're on the use stream, okay, so if you're like listening to the podcast now, but you're like, oh, but I'd like to watch it, you can go to our website and click on videos, right?

Yeah. It's right there. But lifestyle, skin, SKYN, these are the coolest freeing condoms, their whole thing is closest thing to wearing nothing and you're like, yeah, what I've, what I, okay, but it really, it really is the, it's okay. So it's made of polyisoprene. It's not latex.

So there's a lot of people with latex allergies and they are really thin and extra lubricated and they feel amazing. So lifestyle's like, okay, we'll give some way on your show because I love them. And so in honor of this important holiday to some, we're gonna give it away. So email me feedback at sexwithelm.com.

Tell me why you deserve doing a pack of these poly-ice cream amazing like next or nothing. And I'm telling you, it's not just me because I used them with a dude recently and he was like, oh my god, these are freaking awesome. We're giving way one winner this week. We're gonna pick one winner and one winner next week. Feedback at sex with Emily,

why you want to win some skin original condoms. Cause you know what, you can never have too many condoms. Plus, I want them. Yeah. some skin original condoms because you know it can never be too many condoms I want them Yeah, I want the condoms a seriously a serious yeah, you guys use condoms I think that it would be something different for Valentine's Day Dude, I've got so many different things for you for Valentine's Day that if the condoms is a thing You're gonna just waste it up and you're married. We should I want something. I want something out of your trunk I want whatever it sounds like you have a cash in there, but I'm afraid that when I'm using it waste it up and you're married. We should be talking to a trunk. I want something. I want something out of your trunk. What do you want? Whatever it sounds like you have a cash in there.

But I'm afraid that when I'm using it on the old wife there, I'm going to hear your voice saying Valentine's Day. You have to Valentine's Day. Now I've just ruined it for all my listeners. I'm so, so sorry about that. OK, so whatever it is, you can come to my trunk after. Sex and the news. I love this story because I, I'm not sure if you'll have emojis,

they'll have emojis. Okay, people who use emojis have more sex says what is obviously the most important part of match.com's singles and America's survey. So if you use emojis, you have more sex. So in case you needed any more proof that people in the US are absolutely obsessed with using tiny little pictures

to illustrate their every mood, here you go. According to Match.com singles in America Survey for 2015, people who use emoji have more sex. Emoji? Emoji? Yeah, it kind of did like a fish thing, or it's like emoji plural is emoji? I don't what abs. You know what I'm talking about, right, Papers?

And no, I'm not making this up. Emoji users apparently correlates with how much sex you have well ha I didn't see that one coming biological anthropologist dr. Helen Fisher who I love and I respect dearly she led the study and she told time magazine it turns out that 54% of emoji users had sex in 2014 compared to 31% of singles who did not use them. Furthermore, the stats held true for men and women in their 20s, 30s and 40s was suggested, not just a millennial phenomenon or an indication of generational gap. And it says that emoji users, emoji users don't just have more sex. They go on more dates and they are two times more likely to

want to get married. 62% of them want to get married compared to 30% who have never used one. So does it mean there's heartless, he put it using emojis or heartless or something? I think that a lot of dudes don't use emojis. Is this an ad for a... No, not at all. Dude, it's not an ad, this is in the news. You don't want to fund emojis to send? You send the, okay, a, okay sign and then the point of finger and then the a, okay, point of finger. A, okay, a okay sign. Uh-huh. And then the point of finger. And then the a okay point of finger. A okay point in finger. Point you're okay. Like, no, it makes it like we got this.

Oh, like a penis. Yeah. Oh, like it in and out. Yeah, it's pretty good. They really need more emojis. I'll have to say because I mean, not express. I don't know everything. Why not a new emoji?

The free smile face, forget happy sad, whatever. Like why can't there be more emojis to express, but to express what I want to say. And even downloaded apps, you know, of like, well, emojis, I'm so not satisfied. So maybe I should start like a sex emoji company. Maybe it might just spend a spare time, you know what I mean?

Like, whenever I got to kick it around. So you have no spare time, M? I know. It's a problem. But the thing is like, I think guys don't use them that much. But what are you going to say about emojis that honestly, I think guys use them sometimes them that much, but what we can say about emojis that Honestly, I think guys use them sometimes and it's kind of creepy Like if a guy uses too many emojis, you're like, well, buddy back up off the emoji button Like you need to stop back girls use them a lot more than guys do. Yeah, like teenagers though

I mean, you're like my nieces all we do now is just like hearts and loves and rainbow that's all we do Like there's three of them. I don't even talk to them like if I don't have an emoji in it I feel like I am left out my mom. I look at and rainbow. That's all we do. There's three of them. I don't even talk to them. If I don't have an emoji in it, I feel like I am left out. My mom, I look at her phone. That's all she texts them. I get like 12-year-old girls. But apparently, but I think it's interesting though, because if you think about our society right now, all we really have, since everyone's dating online or tech, there's a lot of relationships,

even if you didn't meet online, you probably text each other more than you see each other if you're't meet online you probably text each other more than you see each other if you're not married. And so a lot of times things can be misinterpreted. You want to be like, hey, I was kidding, smiley face, you know. So, but since it seems it's just a little overused and I even told guys, like, like, keep it down with emojis. So, I don't, either way, I just think that we don't have a lot of ways to express things. And if you find yourself needing to use too many emojis, maybe just pick up the phone and have the conversation. Exactly, because emojis also leave a lot of room for interpretation, they can be definitely taken the wrong way or taken in a way that's intended to be less creepy than it actually is.

Yeah, exactly. Okay, so I'm actually kind of at texting right now and I would like texting just to stop altogether. I think it's only efficient if you wanna like, say like plan something or I'm running late or whatever, but having full-on relationships or conversations, like I had a very frustrating experience recently. So there's a guy, one of my dudes that I see some times, let's just say that. And the rotation.

And the rotation, he's the rotation. And we were supposed to, we weren't doing anything. I was homeworking, of course. And he texted me at like 10, like what do you up to? And like I didn't, my phone believed I was not as always next to me or not, always on. And like 20 minutes later, I was like, oh, hey, I'm home. I'm starving.

I was like, I'm burnt, because you know me. Every time I leave the goddamn show, I literally burnt everything in my house. And I burnt toast. It was the only edible food. I was like, I'm so hungry, I should get something. And they texted me, I could use, yeah, like so. And then like half hour later, well, he's like, yeah, I'm heading home. The point is, an hour and a half later,

we're texting for an hour and a half. He's out somewhere. He gets home. And the gist of it was, he's like, I totally wanted you to come over. I was making dinner and you could have come over. But he was like waiting for me to respond to every message. And I said, okay, well, now it's midnight. So two hours ago, if you were thinking that and you could have come over but he was like waiting for me to respond every message and I said Okay, well now it's midnight so two hours ago if you were thinking that you could have picked up the phone and said hey I'm funny come over there and I'd be there now But we were playing like a texting game where I wasn't even attached to my phone and it pissed me off not about him But it's in general that when you're dating I mean you are in a relationship right now. I'm you're married But this is it's not just him. It just happens on our relationships where you look down and you're like, you can text for like two hours.

And I just feel like it can be so that we're just losing sense of, of all touch and reality and that's why you got to put in like emojis and stuff and that when you hear someone you can hear the inflections in their voice and it's much more efficient. Absolutely. Nothing gets done with texting. No, I think texting is good if you need to send a quick message to let someone know something, if you need to get something taken care of right away, but it's not good for like over time

or making plans long-term. Like it's just, it's not a good way, follow up yourself. Exactly, just give a call. But you know, if you got a Thorn emoji, you can. Then don't OD on the emojis. Okay, let's just get into some reviews here. Because Madison and I, sometimes I think we share one brain, things happen and she's like, I just did that.

But we both had a really great sex toy experience that we wanted to share. We weren't together. Yeah, we should share that. It might have been over the same weekend. I think because we both got the Mio's the same weekend. Oh yeah. Yeah, let's go. Spoiler alert.

Oh, do you have a new hand? Okay, so, okay, you, yeah, the meow. So it's by J.J.J.J.J. O.U.E. And you've heard me talk about penis rings before on the show, cock rings, penis rings. And they vibrate. So a lot of, you know, the penis rings have been around since for a long time. A lot of men, they're just hard, a lot of them were just like hard metal or plastic and men have used them to stay harder in bed. It stops blood circulation, flow, not like in an angry way, but just in a way that it'll have to last longer. But now they have vibrators on them. So there's so many of them, they're like disposable ones

or like ten bucks, there's rechargeable ones. And so, Jiju, you know, makes my favorite the Mimi, they made this friggin' meo penis ring, which is, let's show it to the camera. Madison, everyone look how cute Madison is with her meo. So I was like, okay, let's try this out with this guy that I was with. And I've used penis rings before. Don't get me wrong. I'm not new to this voyage, but this one just friggin' blew my mind because it is just holding it. It's so, okay, first of all, it rumbles. That's their technology. It's not a vibration. It's a rumble. And it's so okay first of all it rumbles that's their technology it's not a vibration it's a rumble and it's really powerful and it's you know one size fits all

and it's waterproof and it's just like the thing is it's like a two-fer because it's a full-on vibrator that you could you wear it during sex you put it on and then he feels the vibrations and telling you have never heard a man who's like oh what that doesn't feel good on my balls or my shaft because I don't know how do your boyfriend who's like, oh, that doesn't feel good on my balls or my shaft. Because I don't know. How did your boyfriend feel? He enjoyed it. He said he couldn't feel it enough to like make him, like it wasn't going to like make

him orgasm on his own obviously. But it was just like a nice sensation. Actually his favorite was when it accidentally kind of like worked its way upside down. Because we're using, yeah, careful when you use Lou when you use this because it will slide around a little bit. Right. And so it like worked its way back and under. So it was kind of hitting him and like the area between his balls and his penis. Right. And I don't. Yeah, I didn't like it there because it was really distracting to me. And I was like,

could we get that out of here? Are you like to be hitting your clippers? Yeah. And he was like, that feels good. But yeah, it's supposed to be positioned up on top. So it'll hit your clitoris and like kind of turns his penis into like a human vibrator. Exactly. Exactly. A human powerful, amazing vibrator. But then what I did was took it off and then I just used it like on my clitoris, my exact use it like on his body, use it on my nipples.

Like it's a full and you use it in your fingers. Such a good idea. I know. Right. You can get a hand job with it. I mean, there's just so it's like this. I don't know. It's I we just wanted to share this thing. It's the me. Oh? You can get a hand job with it. I mean, there's just so it's like this, I don't know, it's the, we just wanted to share this thing. It's the me. Oh, you can get that. What else, what else happened with it? It was just, I was just freaked out by like all the intensity

levels of it. It's rechargeable. Yeah, that was one of the big things that I, we really had fun playing around with is we tested out all the settings first. So we were like, oh, like there's like the continuous setting. There's like the one that's like kind of fast. There's the one that's like a deep like Kind of like gets stronger as it goes like type of rumble and they were great for different positions and different like Different rates of having sex like different thrusting motions So like he when he was on top and he was kind of like going a little bit faster We had on like the fast like rumbling setting owner if I can like get it onto that so you guys can get it You're so good. I just was like let's just

setting, I wonder if I can like get it onto that so you guys can get it. I'm so good. I just was like, let's just, it's just funny that you were like, yeah, I gave my hand job. I told him, like, Oh, put it on. Like I wanted to like try going down on him when he had it on. And he was like, all right, and put it on and was like, ready to have sex. And I was like, okay, I guess we're doing the sex thing then. Like instead, yeah, you can hear this is a continuous one, which is like just nice all around. And then there's like this fast one, which is what we

used when he was like going a little faster on top of me. And then he matched the rumble. So it was like really, it was a really cool idea. Yeah. And then it like helped us almost like keep time because I have no rhythm. But this long deep one right here. Yeah, I can't dance. Okay. I can't keep a beat to save my life. But this long deep one that I'm using right now when you're on top is ink when like girls on top is incredible. Wow. Okay. See, I don't even I leave. I just love them. I'm such a now when you're on top is ink when like girls on top is incredible. Wow. Okay. See, I don't even I just love them.

I'm such a like I just. Yeah. You just go full. Like on the stair master, the treadmill like manual, but you're right. No, I know that there's different sensations, but I didn't try all those. That's so cool. I mean, I'm we're holding up to the mic, but it's really discreet and quiet. Yes.

And it's really cool. What else is going to say is that? Oh, and it was also his first time ever using a toy ever with my guy. So you're guy, you've already broke broken man's stuff, but I was like, okay, I'm not going to go to this is not too crazy. And this is for me and you. So I didn't really like play it like we weren't like technical like you like wrote a blog about it. Or you like talk about it. So, so that was fun. And I just want to know, and the people want it, they can go to jazew.com and they get 10% off if they use code

emilys. Yes, they absolutely do. J-E-J-O, you go to my website, click on the banner or just go there. And they're all the toys are beautiful. And it's really, yeah, it's really nice too. It's like made of a nice material. Like it doesn't feel gummy or rubbery at all. It's like very smooth, slides on really well.

And it's not really feminine looking. That's one of the things my boyfriend, when I pulled it out. Well, yeah, there's a black one, there's a purple one. I got him the black one and he really liked that it looked masculine. He was like, he's all about aesthetics and he's like, just looks nice. Like it just looks like something I would want to have. And I was like, go, good. So small and cute. Yeah, pocket, I don't know, I just love it. That's good. I'm glad I've had some good fun together. Definitely. Madison's infamous flashlight experience that we've we've talked about. It's just so many times, but I think it's a it's a good one. We can get into that later. So we can get some emails.

Yeah, totally. Okay, let's talk to the people here. Thank you for emailing me feedback at sexwithemily.com. Hey Emily, I just started listening to this show a few weeks ago and I absolutely adore it. I've always been pretty shy and you've already been able to feel so much less ashamed and more confident with my sexuality. I'm 22 and got on my first relationship eight months ago, also my first and only sexual partner. I've recently been considering purchasing my first vibrator and quite love the look of the crave Vespa.

I was just wondering what you thought of this choice for my first one. I'd like to start with something simple and also do know if the delivery packaging is discrete. I'm still a little shy about the people I live with, knowing that I'm buying a vibrator. I understand if you don't have time to reply, but if you're going to, you could be an email rather than read on the show. Thanks for all you do, your loyal listener.

S. Okay. So S, here's the deal. Great. The Crave Vesper is my other, I would say it's probably my latest obsession this year. I'm actually, okay, are you, are you right? Yeah. Okay. So you know about these, right?

The necklaces, they're wearable. Oh yeah, that's a big fuck you to dad. Fuck you to dad. Yeah, if you said you could wear it at dinner with your family and be wearing it and your dad would have no idea it's a vibrator. Yeah, it's a necklace. It's a beautiful layering piece.

It's a perfect piece. It's so pretty. I wear it all the time. You're like, nice necklace. I'm like, it's a vibe reader too. Okay, mine's going not to. Sometimes I've been in a meeting, and I like lean over my boobs start.

It's funny, they don't know. And that's their friends. I'm like, oh, my boobs. So it's a very, actually, so I would say if you've never had one, it is very, it's actually you can use it as a vibrator and a necklace. And it's so cool because it charges USB

and it's a beautiful gold, they have it in gold and silver and it's really reasonable and it's actually a great gift to so if you guys are listening tonight Valentine's Day you can get it at a time now. And the thing about the best words it is discrete so it

comes in it's actually comes in a beautiful tiny little box just as crave on it and just so you know any time you buy from like anyone I tell you like good vibes crave jazoo, it's all discrete because they know that people don't want to know your business. Unless your roommates are ripping open your packages, you'll be totally fine.

But let's be honest, if you're wearing a a vibrator around your neck, you don't really give up, you don't care if people know or not, right? I don't know. Nobody knows this is a vibrator. Your broadcast, literally broadcasting that knowledge right now. Well, now you all know, but it's just you, I just love it. Like I find myself as wearing I'm not just a fan of the podcast, literally broadcasting that knowledge right now. Well, now you all know, but it's just I just love it. Like I find myself is wearing it every

day because I just like how it looks. And it's freaking powerful and sexy. What are you saying? You got to be a girl who's out there. Now he's saying the secrets out because everyone's like, Oh, like what is that? And you're like, do you know what people assume? All right? I got this. Okay, well, let me just finish this. So it's love crave.com. And here's my special code that just goes through the ninth of February. So if you're listening to the 13th, I'm really sorry, they never friggin have sales. And if you use

code V-Day Emily in all caps and you go to lovecrabi.com, you get 20% off. And that's before February 9th. And I think anyone buying their partner, girlfriend, a present this year, it's like jewelry and vibrators and wine, like give it orgasms and give her something shiny and pretty. Do you want one? Yeah, it's like, yeah, I do actually. I want one. I don't think my wife will be very freaked out by it.

That's how she is. You guys have never used it with the, why do you want to? No, about being around her neck, like, you know, going to work with her. What does she do? Is she like, is he turned? Social worker. Well, maybe she would answer it,, like, you know, going to work. What does she do? Is she like a teacher? Social worker. Well, maybe she's right there.

That's where we know we know. Here's the deal though. Do they have like necklaces that stretch? What do you mean that's stuck? Oh, is it? Like rubber bandy-like type necklaces? Like the she could use that. Like, so you could kind of like, hey, you know,

I feel like I'm stuck in traffic. I'm not to take it off. You could just take it off. It's a long necklace. So you could just take it off and put it in your hand. It's no longer. It dies. You could trip it all around. You could do it every while with it. You could just take it off. It's a long necklace. So you can just take it off and put it in your hand. It needs to be longer. It dies.

You can trip it around. You can do it everywhere with it. You can add your own chain. It's very smart. But I would also say, as if you wanted to, you could try a bullet. That's a great starter vibrator. A literal vibrator is great. So this is a literal vibrator.

This one, the crave vesper. But also try a bullet, a pocket rocket. That was my first. Was that your first to use that? No, my first is a bullet. One of those little egg-shaped ones that had the cord and the little little remote control you dial up and down. It's very, very successful just getting the job done. Yeah, exactly. And I would say that as if you were just out of a relationship eight months ago and you're only a sexual partner, that I think that this is a great time for you to do some exploring

and some masturbating and figure out your own body because that first sexual partner, you know, I'm sure the sex was good, you know, it was all, but you know, think of it too. So the more that you learn your own body and play with some toys, the better off you'll be. I'll tell you that. So the reason why I always suggest starting with the clitoral vibrators because that's how most women orgasm and the, there's 8,000 nerve endings and these vibrators can stimulate all of them at once and they'll never leave you room again.

Don't tell your parents it's my fault, but that's a deal. Oh, okay, the next one too is Clitoral Vibrator? Yeah. Okay, hey, I'm really appreciative you would recommend me a good Clitoral vibrator. I have no idea where, what, oh, and also what is a G spot. So a Clitorist one will work better. I was considering the Lilo Series 2, any suggestion advice. Thanks Riley. Yeah Lilo makes great toys. A Siri 2 is one that I think it curves in the palm of your hand. It's a

really it's a that's a really good one. I would that's a great one. I mean honestly my favorite my new favorite is the tango by Wee vibe. I love that one. It's like a little bullet rechargeable great thing. There's the J the Jane form too. Has been one of the great ones for a while. These are a little more expensive. Have you heard? Pro-Wat? I don't know how much you want to spend. A pocket rocket is like 20 bucks. Batteries. You can do that. There's also the lifestyles. At the drug store, you can buy the amuse. It's called, it's for his and her pleasure. And it has a penis ring and also a finger massage. Which I think is so cool, because you put in your finger, your finger massages,

you start touching your clitoris, you know, there you go. And there's also, so the G spot, you're not even sure what the G spot is. I'm glad you asked. This is a great time to learn as well, your G spot, because a lot of times, the best way to find the G spot actually is with your fingers or your partner's fingers.

So a lot of women don't find it during intercourse. They just don't, and they think that you never will. And sometimes you gotta do some searching around, some digging to find it. And so I would say first start with your fingers, start with some lube, and just land your back. You can put your feet up, you can put some pillows down, put your feet back, and just take your fingers inside of you,

like in the, like a finger, two fingers inside of you, like that come hit their motion, going towards your belly. So you stick them inside and then you'll start, you'll feel like a rough spot, like a bean. And that is your G spot. And so it takes, it's more of a pressure than it is like an in and out. So having it, you want to put more pressure on it and just see how it feels. And you might not feel anything the first few times or if it starts feeling really good, you might actually feel like you have to pee. And that can mean that you're about to orgasm. There's also great g-spot toys if you just don't feel like doing the exploring yourself.

We saw this the other night, the Lilo GG2 is great for g-spot simulation. I would do that if you, you know, but the g-spot is a great thing to find out because then you can have a blended orgasm. So for anyone listening, you feel like, oh, my partner can't come on top or she can't do this or that I would never I would want to know have you done everything possible Have you tried every position? Have you used every toy? Have you did you only try once or twice because you could have sex a hundred times and never hit your G-spot and maybe you can only reach it through Fingers or through a toy so don't rule it out that you don't have one

I'm just saying because I used to believe that as well. I'm like, oh, I can't have an organiser. But then you figure it on your own, and then you know how to move during. Pinn, of course. So, and then they can get any of these toys that we just mentioned too, from Good Vibes. Yes, absolutely.

Good Vibes.com, GVM-LE20 for 20% off. Yes, yeah. That's why you do that. Okay, so yeah, okay. And you, to backdoor play, will you say something about your G-Sp you do that. Um, okay. So yeah. Okay. And you to backdoor play, were you going to say something about your G spot? Oh, no. I mean, we can talk for days about my G spot. Did you find your G spot right away? No. Honestly, I didn't know. You're still looking or I don't know. I shouldn't confirm or didn't, you know, that you, I don't know what your situation is with your G spot. Yeah. So I know you so well.

Yeah. So the four one one on my G spot as I know where it is, we're good friends. I can't get to it myself because I have small fingers, and they just don't have me able to bend that way. But my boyfriend knows where it is, he knows how to find it. I actually discovered I don't necessarily like G-Spot toys as much, because it's very shallow. It's easier to hit with fingers,

or like what I've really liked about the GG-2 was that it was super shallow. It wasn't like this massive dong coming at you. Where you're like, that's going to go inside of me and find something. No. So it's kind of how we got to get to that one. Yeah, it's like smaller and curved. And so those types of toys are a lot better for me at finding it. But it's worth looking like it is worth experimenting.

If you have a guy down there who kind of doesn't know what he's doing to tell him, do the come here their motion. A lot of guys think that they can just like finger blast you and you're gonna be fine. But that does not work at all. Yeah, it's awful. So talk guys that Anderson. The way you said that mid-set sound like I taught. Really guys the finger.

You should hold a class where you teach people how to find it. True, find your juice pot with sex suddenly. You should do that. I don't know where the G-spot is. I am starting to teach tomorrow workshops. Yeah, it'll be good. I don't know where the cameras are, but guys. It'll be called Dude, Where's My G-spot.

See the cameras? Yeah, I mean, I know what I'm looking at. Oh, the camera. Yeah, I'm just going to say, like, right now, this is your lesson here. The comhether motion. OK, so right. It's like scratching a kitten's neck.

Mirror. Mirror. Exactly. So you can just sit inside of her. OK, stomach. So here's a vagina, here's her legs. This is really hard. And then you're going towards a belly button.

And then you just like, you'll feel it. And always up there towards the top. Yeah. This leprechaun of a thing that doesn't exist. That's towards the top. It's towards the belly. Yeah, so it's up and around, up and around curve. It's like not even all the way.

Like your penis has to, that's why women on top. A lot of times women can have orgasms that way, because they can move. Oh, yeah. So it's not about going deep, deep, deep. It's actually lower than that. So what's better, the G spot of the clitoris there? Oh, must I choose.

There is no better. It's different for everyone. Why do you guys get to both? Yeah, blended at the same time is awesome when that happens. And a lot of times women need a literal orgasm before they can actually have the G spot orgasm because it's all connected. Like all the tissues are connected.

So once you're aroused, your clitoris is engorged. It'll also engorge the G-spot. I hate that word. Engorged. It's so gross. Do you like engorge better or moist? Moist is fine. But engorge just sounds bad.

Seven is porn. He has engorgement entered me. Stop it. Anyone know engorgement entered me. Stop it. I didn't even know engorgement was important. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man.

Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man.

Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. Long time, man. this new dude I've been seeing. He's about five years older than me, and is absolutely rocking my world in bed. Oh my, I'm an open-minded guy on the bedroom, but he is by far the most exciting man

I've had the pleasure of being with. I wanna keep things spicy and exciting, and I wanna make him feel as good as he makes me. So here's the question. I know he's enjoying having his ass played with by past ladies, and I'm open to doing that for him, but I've never gone there, and would like to avoid giving him a bad experience or getting my nails zucky.

Please give me advice on how to touch his tushy from using fingers to tongue to toys. If I was able to ask one more question, I'd like to get any advice for Gal who's interested in playing with bondage. Thanks Emily, Ms. Asplay Navas. Okay, wow, well, great, so he's told you he's interested in it. So let's start with your first question. You want to make sure that you know, you guys are both clean that you it's always great to take a shower together and make sure that you guys have you know that he's clean that you're clean that you whatever after shower is perfect. Sunday morning, Saturday night, whatever it is. And you want to make sure that you, that you don't just like stick your fingers right in without him knowing about it.

You just kinda wanna play around the area and use a little lube if you can, but it seems like he's not a novice to it. So it's not like you're gonna freak him out, but even because it's with you the first time you might not be expecting it and just like women, they need to be a little warmed up. So just let him know that it's coming.

It's kinda like saying like, not, not, like someone's here. Like I'm kind of interested in coming in, but I'm not coming in yet. And you could just start like rubbing your fingers around as it is, ain't it? And then you could just start to stick like one finger in and see how it, see how he reacts. If he likes it, I'm sure he might mow and let you know, you can take another finger in. And I would just, I would go in there, leave him in there, move him around. You can spin your fingers around and you can see, ask them what he likes.

If he already knows that he's done it, you can be like, how's this? How's this? He could say deeper. He could say more to the left to the right. But you don't want to go into aggressively. And you know, you want to just again slowly use Lou, Lou, Lou is your best friend. Absolutely. You can never have too much Lou.

If you wanted to, what you can say, oh, nothing. The like that you did you want to talk about the I was just laughing like it's a yeah, I had to see it on the car. No, no, the loop thing's totally true, but you said something about your nails getting yucky. Trim your nails. Yes, please Lord anyone who's doing anything in the butt, even the vagina area. Yep. Keep your nails short. Nothing is worse than getting accidentally sliced by like a hang nail. That is awful. It's the worst.

And it's happened to a lot of women. It's happened to me. I was thinking the same thing. I'm like, oh, what I have gloves on. No, cut your nails, fire nails. Make sure that they're good because you could hurt them. It's true. So when you're doing any backdoor play, you want to make sure that it's a great point

medicine. Usually, and also, um, tongueing. So again, make sure that it's clean that area. And you just gotta start licking around. You just start licking it. And, you know, maybe you're giving it a blowjob and you go down there and you're licking, and you use your tongue, go around and around,

and swirl it. You could stick your tongue in, use your fingers, kind of play with it all. Yeah. Tongue and fingers. And he'll have a good idea of what he likes because he's done it before. Exactly.

He kind of give you feedback, whereas like if it's two people going in who don't know either way, you're just kind of like stabbing in the dark. Right. No pun intended. Yeah. But if you're stabbing, though, I mean, really, I mean, you don't want to stab,

but you stick your finger in it. And I'm sure again, like a lot of guys are like, women would email me and say, I kind of want to try it, but I don't hope he's into it. This is like, he's already into it. So he's going to help you along. You just want to make sure that it's ready for your action. So that's why you want to make sure there's a loop. As far as toys go, there are butt plugs.

Butt plugs are for men and women. And there's actually one here. Oh, this is the black pearl by vibrant text. This is an amazing. Okay. This is a vibrating butt plug for men. Anderson, I got this for you for Valentine's Day. Thank you, thank you. Do mine then, I'm just playing here. So this, I mean, I don't know how much you're guys into it, but like I said, I've never heard a guy say it doesn't like vibrations, and this is called the black pearl by Vibrojax,

and if you're looking at an extreme, look at this puppy. Again, you want to use Loub, and it's got this curve, so it hits the male prostate, and they do say the male prostate is like the male G-spots, speaking of G-spots. Oh, this is cool, I'm vibrate. I mean, it's kind of awesome, black pearl. Okay, and then there's other ones that you can just buy, good vibes that are just, they don't vibrate, that you can just put in, get a silicone one, and play with it. And you want to make sure that you wash them all afterwards and that if you do play with

them, play with your fingers, and then you have sex, make sure that you wash your hands first. You're not spring germs around. So they make a necklace of that? What? He's sanitary lips? The butt plug. The butt plug. No, but you know.

I think be reincarnated as a male butt plug would be a version of hell. Can you imagine? No, I actually never thought about that. You're either in a drawer or in someone's ass. You're in a tireless. Exactly. Right, but when you're in there a drawer or in someone's ass. You're in your entire life. Exactly. Right, but when you're in there, it feels oh so good.

People are so happy to see you when you're there. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Okay, we're going to take quick break and come back and answer your emails. But first, a word from our sponsors now and I've got to give a shout out to Flashlight. Flashlight. Flashlight. Oh, how I love you.

The number one sex ty for men. And I think that since Madison's here, she should tell us a little about the Flashlight. Flashlight. Oh, how I love you. The number one sex ty for men. And I think that since Madison's here, she should tell us a little bit about the flashlight because people are like, why it's a male masturbation sleep. Men can use it. You guys have your hand. I just taught you about any toys for women. Men can use your hand or flashlight. Yeah. So actually it's a really funny story really quick to sleep this in. We were taking a Uber home from the sexual health expo Emily had just given her speech and I end up talking to the Uber driver for like 15 minutes about the flashlight and I'm giving him the full rundown Emily's just like oh my gosh listen to you all the time pro flashlight but um simulates the feelings of real sex because it's got this patented super skin material that feels very very close to the real thing it's as close as you could possibly get and it's got this suction control so you can tighten it and loosen it and then it actually feels like suction like if you were to be getting a lot of putting your penis in a woman there's some kind of a suction there too. So it recreates that for you.

You can heat it up. You can put loop. I actually absolutely use loop. Anybody who doesn't use loop, I don't know what you're doing with your flashlight. You gotta use loop with it. Yeah, absolutely, and it's fantastic. They just came out with a flashlight warmer too, which is gonna be really exciting. It's like a wand and you can put your flashlight on it and it like heats it up.

She knows everything, she talks to flashlight more than I do, she puts it more, but then you give it to your boyfriend and you love it. She wrote a great blog, what's it called? My boys new toy. My boys new toy, it's a great one. And it explains to you why boyfriend and you love it. Yeah, she wrote a great blog. What's it called? My boys new toy. My boys new toy. It's a great one.

And explains to you why, how you can use it together. He can use it alone. It doesn't mean that you're like some crazy word guy. It just means you actually want to experience new sensations. So if you go to section of the ME.com, click on the flashlight banner. Use code Emily. You get a bottle of the reward winning flush loop,

which you should actually not use it without the flush loop. So that's what we got to say about that. Okay, emails. And everyone, thank you again for emailing me feedback at sex.li.com because I love hearing from you and we read all your emails and we try to answer them all on the show. So thank you again. Hi, Emily.

About three months ago, I started a friend with benefits type relationship with a guy I met online. At the time, we were both after some regular sex thought. At the time we were both after, some regular sex thought, at the time we were both after some regular sex out the relationship, we've been meeting every couple of weeks, lately more frequently. The first two times we had sex like orgasm easily,

through oral and penetration. The sex has got better each time we see each other and the sessions longer to the point where recently we spent two weekends in a row together, But somehow along the way I have lost the orgasm. Amodicon sad face. He always tries to get me there in various ways, and although I get very close, I can't seem to get over the line. About a month ago, I confess that I wanted more from the relationship.

And his reply was that he loves the time we spend together, but right now he can't offer me more. Meanwhile, we've been seeing each other more often and the sex has been getting better and better, although I am very turned on by him and I've lost the ability to orgasm with him. What do I do? How do I get it back? H. Female.

Okay. Here's a deal. First thing I got to ask you is, have you changed anything? Are you on meds? are you on birth control? Have you started taking anything at all that would inhibit your orgasm? Because people don't realize that birth control can actually do this any depressions.

If the answer is no, then we gotta look at the old emotion meter here. No strings, touch, sex is fun and easy because it's new and it's mysterious and you're not worried what things are going and you can have sex and you can be free and you can be open and and you can let go and you think it's going somewhere and you're getting feelings for him but then he tells you that he doesn't want as what you want and so there

could be that you're you shut down emotionally you shut down you don't feel as open you have I mean you just told it how you want to be with them and he said I don't want to be with you in the same way. But yet, you're still hanging out with him. And I think that you're not feeling as safe with the friends with benefit situations, which is exactly what happens. And that's what happened with your missing orgasm. Absolutely. See, this is what bothers me, guys. You tell a girl that you don't want to be with her. You like what you like what you're doing with her, but you don't want to take it any further. And then you bump up the amount of time you spend with them. And it is just a complete mind-screw.

It is, it is. Total mind-screw. Guys, I was just gonna say this is so typical. Yeah. He's like, okay, we had that conversation. She knows where I'm at. And the problem is, I always say action speak louder than words, which they do.

Yeah. So he's saying one thing to her, but yet he's spending more time with her. So she's thinking, oh, well, he said that. Maybe still nervous because the sex is getting more and more together. No, no, no. They're both important here. His actions are saying, I really like having sex with you and the sex is amazing, but you're not someone I want to be in a relationship with. I don't want to be, and he told you that. He told you that. And he's just spending

more time with you because it's comfortable. And now he feels like probably that it's safer to spend more time with you because he told you what he wants, even And he's just spending more time with you because it's comfortable. And now he feels like probably that it's safer to spend more time with you because he told you what he wants, even though he's not acting that way. So this is what happens to the fence benefit situation all the time. One person falls a little bit harder than the other and they have to clean up with it. And actually interesting story. And my boyfriend's going to kill me for this. But we were in a very similar situation each so I can honestly tell you like Every once in a while you guys that together we weren't together We were yeah, we were like spending all of our time together

We are hooking up. We were doing everything but the relationship thing and I was kind of like you know Like I don't want to see other people and he was like well, I don't see other people either And I was like one let's be together and he's like I don't know and it went like that for like a couple of months with him being like I don't want to be together and he's like, I don't know. And it went like that for like a couple of months with him being like, I don't wanna be a boy, anyone's boyfriend, but I also like don't wanna stop spending time with you. And it was just that constant thing of like, that like, mind screw where it's just like what,

or. It's like, commitment. It's like, he wasn't right. I just turned my back. Oh my God. You get so excited about the story. You're like, so, but then did you, so but but see that's confusing,

because you were like buddy spending time with me and yeah We'd he'd push me away and then he pulled me closer and it was that classic guy thing where you're just like what do you do with it? It just happened for me it ended up that he did want to be in a relationship with me and it kind of like fell into place after a while But yeah, it's very frustrating very confusing and I don't want to say like there's tons of hope But you have to be honest with yourself and if you're having great sex But you're not orgasming then what are you doing that exactly? If you're not having the orgasms and you're losing the orgasms and I just again I think it's that you're feeling secure feeling less secure than you're at the beginning and more vulnerable

And the reason why you know they kind of call it the disappearing orgasm I've gone through those phases too and it really just is because it's probably an emotional thing maybe happen once It's like so many issues that we have with sex. It would be in our head. It's like, is it going to happen? It's going to happen? Oh my god, it's going to happen. And then it doesn't happen.

So if you really want to, you know, again, I don't think he's your guy. I think that you should actually stop seeing him right now because it's not going to get any better. I mean, Madison just told you her story, but we asked her to pull away for a while and just start dating other people and see what happens and see if you just Just do an experiment and see if your orgasm comes back What do you find your orgasm with that guy you meet at the bar? Sorry night. Oh my god. He hit your orgasm the whole time But it isn't just in your body. It's in your mind too. So I would you know go masturbate play it yourself

See what happens. I don't think that you've lost your orgasm. I just think you need to lose this guy People we don't listen though, you know we analyze with our friends. We talk about what? you need to lose this guy. We don't listen though. We analyze with our friends, we talk about what? What are you laughing? Not with me at me. That's something else. Yeah, I like what you just said.

It was funny. Oh, okay. Lose your orgasm, lose the guy. Find your orgasm somewhere else, but you're not going to find out with this guy. But, you know, I don't know. Friends benefit's a very tricky situation. Give it to yourself.

Get a sex toy. Exactly. We've been telling you about all our fake sex toys. Okay, we have another email. We're cruising here. We are helping you have better sex. It's important. Okay, is that the one you want to read?

The next one? This is, I feel like this one's very applicable right now. So you can go down to the next one. Okay, let's do it. Dear Emily, I'm sure you had very similar questions before, but I was curious. What are your thoughts on sex or sex acts as a gift a way of saying thank you or sometimes as if you do this

for me, I'll do that for you type of thing. Let me explain a little more. I recently bought my wife an expensive gift. The gift was out of kindness and love for my wife, but it is unreasonable to kind of expect some sort of, but is it unreasonable to expect some sort of sexual thank you for such a special gift? I'm talking diamonds here.

Along those lines, is it unreasonable for me to just ask for sex for gifts rather than clothes or things of that nature? For instance, if my wife asks me what I want my birthday, fathers' day, etc. I used to say don't buy me anything. I prefer that you surprise me with mind-blowing sex. Maybe something out of the ordinary that we haven't tried. Last question. How do you feel about it tit for tap type of exchange?

For instance, my wife hates when I do something like, I'll give you a massage if you give me a blowjob or a handjob, she doesn't think it's right to do things that way because she thinks I'm only doing it for something in return. In my defense, I give plenty of messages and back up to anything in return. I often feel like her response is just an excuse. I honestly feel like it gives me an incentive to do a great job because maybe the enthusiasm

we returned, however this never seems to be the case. If I ever convinced her to go along with the exchange, it very, very happens. Just wanted to get your thoughts and those things. Thanks for doing what you do. Love the podcast, website, and advice on Twitter. Best Tyler. Okay, well, Madison, I talked about this one earlier. I I don't like when sex is used as a bargaining chip in relationships unless it's kind of fun like unless it's like you give her sex checks or something for a valentine maybe sex checks or you know you have a running game of like you know you're playing something at what if people play I don't know cards and you're like oh get your way down but to be the problem this is the bomb I have with and the Madison can

talk about her part is that I don't think it should be bartered. I think the problem is, is it it's gotten to this point in your relationship, Tyler, where everything that you do, you're like, I want more sex, I want more sex, I want more sex. That's not women here, but more sex. The problem is when you're walking in with your erection and she's sitting there, you know, at her computer or making dinner, whatever she's doing, she is nowhere near thing about sex center.

Mind about she didn't know you walking the door, she's in the middle of something. We are not turned on yet. Women need to be in the mood. We want for play the whole thing. And I'm not saying every single time has to be 20 minutes, but something. So when you're just like, I'll give this for a blowjob, it just

sounds, it's like, it's, in first of all, she probably feels bad that she rejects you. So I'm not saying that your wife is 100% right here in the sense of she's not returning. I think she does need to return some of the, or she does need to give to you what you guys have compromised. She has to give you sex, you've to give her sex, you've to greed of how you're going to sex together. But I don't think I think the way you're saying it, that it's always like, well, I want to blow down for this one. But all she's hearing is he just wants to blow down,

he just wants to blow down. And that is not a turn on for woman at all. Like, like, in fact, it's almost like someone asked you for something all the time. Like, you don't want to give it. It's like that reverse psychology. And so I think you need to change your tactic here for women at all. Like in fact, it's almost like someone asked you for something all the time, like you don't want to give it. It's like that reverse psychology. And so I think you need to change your tactic here a little bit, Tyler. And the fact that you're just saying to her, like, give me some hot sex, she obviously doesn't know what that means. Or she would do it.

So I think you ought to change the conversation here. Maybe you go sex toi shopping or you watch some porn together or you read some erotic art. Or you find out what's going on in her mind. What turns her on? What's gonna get her to want to give you a blowjob? To be like, I don't have to be talking to this. I don't have to play game around it.

I want to please you as much as you please me. But I think you've been chasing after with the blowjob thing on time. She's like, ah, the blowjob again, the blowjob. I feel bad enough already. Okay, what do you guys think? You're married, you're in a relationship. Anderson Madison. How do you make someone want to give married, you're in a relationship. Anderson Madison.

How do you make someone want to give you a blowjob? Unless she's like watching her calories and you dip your penis and sugar. No, I never, I've never given a blowjob. I didn't want to. There's a lot of women though, like they'll do it. But they don't really, like, enjoy it. You know what I mean?

I think you learn to, like, I think that you can love you. Yeah, if you love your partner, it's an extension of them and you like pleasing them and they like, he gets off giving her massage and she should turn around and like, I don't know what she's saying, okay, thanks, honey. Like if he does it 10 times in a row, I'd be pissed too. Which is once, I don't know,

but yeah, some men don't like before I'm in a role sex element. I think that they've, everyone's got to learn to get into their bodies, get into their partner's bodies and realize that you are in the power position, you can give them so much pleasure. I just don't get people, I understand we don't like it, but you can learn to put yourself in the mindset where at least it's better than, you know, going to the dentist thing.

But I don't like when people use a bartender chip. What do you think? Okay, so I agree. The whole like, I'll give you a massage for you. Me a blowjob thing is so mean because I blowjob our hand job because I'm sorry, but a blowjob is a lot more work than massagejob or hand job because I'm sorry, but a blowjob is a lot more work than massage. Let's be honest.

No, really? I think so. I think so. I think so. Guys are kind of the guy behind you and be like, ah, rub, rub, rub. All right, where's my blowjob? And it's like, all right, now I gotta get on my knee. Oh, like, I was thinking like full body hour long.

Okay, like, not a boyfriend massage. Yeah, she's right. You think you just did a five minute massage? I have no idea. I really depends. But I do think that there's something to be said about making some kind of a deal with sex where it's going to be later.

I was telling Emily earlier, if I tell my boyfriend, I'm working right now. I need you to give me 45 minutes. I need you to give me an hour, maybe tomorrow. But we will have sex. It kind of calms him down. Let's him know that there's something good going on in the future gives me time to get in the right mindset. Because yeah, if you're coming

up to me and you're dry, humping my leg when I'm trying to get something else done, it is not going to go well for you. I'm not going to just snap out. It's a slippery slope. Now you're thinking about sex in the sense of work. And that only will get more reinforced as you go down the line. What do you mean? Yeah. And she's like, okay, I'll pay you with the sex later. No. I mean, you could just, but I am cool with planning for sex because I think the couple's like, I don't, I hate date night. We're going to plan the few couples with kids are they're really busy. And I get I used to think that's so not sexy, but the truth

is when one partner wants it more than the other one, and they're always constantly every night, like, it's tonight, I mean, I, but if you know it's Saturday and eight, we're going to go on a date, we're going to have sex, then it does take the pressure off. So that I can see. I'm a big like, have sex to get horny kind of person because it's hard for me. I've got so much going on all the time. Like, I get a little bit in my head.

Is that like, eat to get hungry? Yeah, it's kind of like, no, it's like, I love having sex to my boyfriend. Our sex is amazing. We have a great sex life, but the problem is, is me getting there. It's like going to the gym. Like, what you always say, like going to the gym, you don't want to go you don't want to go when you get there

You're like oh my god. This is great. Why have I been putting this off so much? That's kind of how it feels for me So if I if I tell them like at this time we're gonna have sex and then do you start thinking about it in your head? Yeah, I start thinking about it. I'm like all right We're gonna have sex like I'm prepared for it. I'm out of my own Yeah, exactly I get all prepared and then I can get in the mood for it and then it's fantastic And it's not like it's sprung upon me and I feel like I'm put on this box. Yeah, don't spring your penis upon or the idea of sex on her. And also, you know, four

play all day. I always say four play starts up the last orgasm. If you start turning around during the day, you send her sexy text, sexy messages, whatever it is, she'll get more turned on. Okay, everyone. Thank you, Madison. Thank you, Anderson. Thanks to everyone for listening to Sex with Emily. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. Okay, everyone. You hear me. I've been talking.

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