Sex With Emily - The Future is Sexy with Bryony Cole

Episode Date: October 18, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by sex tech expert & host of the Future of Sex podcast, Bryony Cole & they’re talking about sex tech & what the future may hold for anything involving pleasure. Also, Dr. Emily answers your sex related questions. The two of them discuss topics like VR porn — what the draw is to it & how to use it wisely, as well sex robots & their place in the human world. Plus, how to tell your partner they’re a little too rough during oral sex & why is it that vulvas get more love from vibrators than penises. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.comFor more information on Bryony Cole, click HERE.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

What do you mean I'm going to want to fuck a robot? Yeah, and you know, when they do the research and the surveys, although people say, oh, what do you mean? Right? Most people would have sex with a robot at least once. And when we think about it in the future, we think, okay, there's a certain subset of people that will, you know, are robo-sexuals or attracted to that, that will keep those robots as their partners. But then there's kind of the rest of us. it was sort of like, it's a novelty. Probably try it once or twice.

And what distinguishes a sex robot versus sex doll is the technology. So they have technology often inside their heads that allows them to be programmed to talk to you, to change their personality type from funny shy, charming, cute, submissive, flirty, dial it up, dial it down. But really, if you want to get really nerdy, they're not quite robots yet.

So robots, the definition of robots is their limbs would move in both directions, right? I've forgotten that. Right. The techie term for that. Right. But at the moment, they don't do that. And actually, that would be really dangerous. Can you imagine a sex accident if all the robots limbs are moving and something knocks you out of the bed or something?

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Amley and in today's show I'm joined by Sex Tech Expert and host of the Future of Sex Podcast, Bryony Cole to talk about all things sex tech and what the future may just have in store for us. Topics include sex robots. Will they become the norm? The air porn. So what's the draw and how can you use it wisely if at all? Okay so Volvo seemed to get all the love when it comes to vibrators but what about

the penises? And how do you delicately tell your partner that their oral skills are just a little rough? I got you all this and more, thanks for listening. My man, he here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got every stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common all the way? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, so, We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between.

Check out our site, sexwithmme.com. We publish a bunch of blogs every single day, every week, to help you have the sex life and the relationship that you really want and you deserve. You can also find me in series XM stars Monday through Friday, 5-7pm Pacific. It's channel Stars 109 and you can get a free 30 day trial at sexwithmly.com slash sxm and I'm totally cool if you just call in and ask a question, triple 8 947 8277. Find us on all social media, it's at sex with Emily across the board. And you guys, I have a special announcement, we're very excited you guys.

We have this I have a new best bird necklace, I don't know if you've ever seen the vibrator necklace. It's been around for a few years and I've been a huge fan. It's a fact for years. It's the only gift that I give to all my friends. Well, I'm very excited because it's a super elegant vibrator that you wear it around your neck as a necklace. It's USB rechargeable and it's super super quiet and it's powerful. Here, here's a little listen to it. It doesn't sound quite for a listen power. And as a little... Anyway, guys, I'm obsessed with it. I wear it every single day and it's a great conversation piece too. But like, what is that around your neck?

Also, it's really empowering to just say, like, you know what, I care about my sex life. I prioritize my orgasms and my pleasure. You can get one of our three limit edition phrases that I vote for you. It's either I come first, turn me on, or meditate, masturbate, manifest. If you wanna find out more, it's a great gift.

Go to sexwithemily.com slash VESPA, V-E-S-P-E-R. Bionic Holies here. Thank you. Hello, she's a sex tech and relationship expert, Australian and living in New York, host of the Future of Sex podcast. Thanks for being here. Yeah.

So, fun, we're excited to have you. People can find you at... We'll have this in our show notes. Sexwithatme.com, Bionicoll, Bionicoll, and at Future of Sex. Okay, so let's talk about this. We were introduced through... Erica Lost, who we both

Love? Love? Aren't you- She's the fucking best! She's the best! Oh my god, amazing! You tried her stuff in Viayet? No, can we talk about- Okay!

We're gonna talk about it all. Sex-tech! I think a lot of people don't even know what that means! Yeah, so whenever I say sex-tech, the first thing that comes to mind, right? Zrobots, or the harpon, or T tele-dilthonics. But text tech is in fact so much more than that.

So if we think about text tech as a definition, text tech is any technology designed to enhance sexuality. So technology, VR, robots, AI, but also websites, apps, just simple products, and then under that umbrella of sexuality, we're not just talking about sex. In terms of sexuality, we're talking about health, medicine, education, really big one with sex tech, crime and violence reporting, assault reporting.

So sex tech incorporates so much more than, I think the obvious ones, like robots, although that's fun. Right. It is fun. Okay, I gotta say this, but sex tech, if they're saying it's gonna be like a $40 billion industry, $25 to $40 billion. Yeah, depends that's fun. Right. It is fun. Okay, I gotta say this, but sex heck of their saying, it's gonna be like a $40 billion industry. Yeah. 25 to $40 billion. Yeah.

Depends who that is. So I think for my audience, for my listeners and for me, let me be honest, I do want to start with the robots. Let's have to, even though I get it, we were like, can we just start with orgasms? I'm like, that's what I talk about forever. Robots?

Well, it is this big sci-fi fantasy, you know. I can't even believe it. Like, what do you mean I'm gonna want a fuck a robot? Yeah, and you know, when they do the research and the surveys, although people say, oh, what do you mean? Most people would have sex with a robot at least once. And when we think about it in the future,

we think, okay, there's a certain subset of people that will, you know, are robo-sexuals or attracted to that, that will keep those robots as their partners. But then there's kind of the rest of us, it's a novelty. Probably try it once or twice. And what distinguishes a sex robot versus sex doll is the technology. So they have technology often inside their heads that allows them to be programmed, to talk to you, to change their personality type from funny, shy, charming, cute,

submissive, flirty, dial it up, dial it down. But really, if you want to get really nerdy, they're not quite robots yet. So robots, the definition of robots is their limbs would move in both directions, right? I've forgotten the techie term for that. But at the moment, they don't do that. And actually, that would be really dangerous. Can you imagine a sex accident if all the robots limbs are moving and something knocks you out off the bed or something? They're also really heavy. I just want the right limbs to move.

Right? Like if I knew the guy like at least this one limb is working. So I bought you, I don't care as much about their hands and feet, but I sure paid, you know. That's why I'm afraid they're all in school. Right? Well the vibrators right now. I mean, here's the thing.

So we've talked about this before as well. Like, would women, why would a woman mind if we want intimacy and connection and touch, but then people are saying these robots are actually going to, it's gonna look real. It's gonna be like, Westworld, everyone says. I mean, to really believe that soon enough, we'll be like, oh, once the limbs start moving,

they can take the trash out. So, they can make them sound. And they can make sandwiches and stuff like that. That'd be cool. I think there's less demand for women in terms of being a sexual partner. Maybe an intimacy partner is more interesting, you know, someone that has a personality,

a thing that has a personality that can talk back to you, kind of like that movie, her, if you like, sort of, sort of, I would love that. A virtual assistant slash lover. Yeah, well now there's like the sex bot, the rope that can text you and the sexting and all this stuff. You've seen the gate box in Japan. Yeah, the gate. Can we talk about the gate box in Japan? Sure. Okay. So gate box, it was launched two years ago, it sold out within a

week. It was a limited run and gate box is kind of like if you would think of Alexa or Google home, you're a virtual assistant that control the temperature in your house, they control the lights, but gay boxes different because it's inside what you can imagine like a glass cylinder, and it's a CGI image of a blue cartoon anime, looks like a teenage girl. And she sends you emotional text messages during the day, and this is sort of where the AI and the gray area of intimacy comes in because aside from controlling everything in your house in terms of appliances she also has this intimacy angle and sold out in the first week in 2016. It sold out in Japan in the first week because she can like turn on my toaster and send me a

sex to another day. I miss you on sweet dreams before you go to bed. And if you watch the ads on YouTube, it's super compelling because you're like, wow, it's actually being marketed as this replacement girlfriend. And so over the last couple of years, they've got more investment. You can now change their clothes. She's now in October 10th,

they're doing a commercial release in Japan because it's been sold out. There's been 3,700 marriage certificates issued for gatebox. So Japanese men are actually marrying gatebox. They're marrying up. They're marrying these CGI images because they worked their client. They're like one, it's one bill.

Yeah. Is my appliances and sends me a sex. Easy date. And it's kind of easy, you know, bundle. It's a bundle. It's your marriage and all your appliances. What if you just had someone that like, you had the bot that did all that, but then you still married a person?

Well, you know, because then you can't get a relationship. Humans are overrated. Come on. Yeah, I mean, you could have both. You know, if that person's no good at conversation, there's always gatebos. Exactly. Exactly. I mean, this is really happening, but this one fly here.

Would it or a bike just like, crazy three years from now? Well, you know, this is really having, with this one flying here, would it or by just like, crazy three years from now? Well, you know, this is what I, it's a lot of time thinking about because, you know, we're all so in love, I would say, with our smartphones, we're almost married to them. We can't leave the house without them and we're so addicted to them. I think there are a couple of examples in the Western world of humans falling in love with technology and everyday people. in the Western world of humans falling in love with technology. And everyday people, there's also, if you look outside the sex realm in the military,

the bomb disposal robots, there's been cases of Marines holding funerals for them because they break down, they don't dispose bomb. And so people get really attached to technology. And I think this is sort of the thing that we're all sleeping on at the moment because it kind of happens really big like I sleep with my it's like the night phone you know turn off now but I'll be back in a few hours. Yeah so you know kind of it seems exciting and I think it's sort of that feeling of one

day you wake up and you go well hang on what happened how do we get this far along. Same thing with dating apps maybe five or ten years ago it wasn't't cool. It was like, we're never going to do that. We didn't mean that in Tinder. And now, if you're not on a dating app, it's weird. Exactly. If you're on a dating app, I tell people, like, why? You really want to feed me somewhere and you haven't tried apps. It's like trying to lose weight, but I'm not going to exercise.

I'm just going to eat naughty. It's the new normal. It's the new normal. It is the new normal. So maybe gate box or some version of that will be the new normal I know it turns strange and you're like please be the case But I just you have to kind of think about But you know what it is you technology we look because what I just thought up and you guys can cause with anything

I've only caught Brian Nicole. Yeah, we practice singing it Brian. Yeah, Brian. Yeah, Brian. Brian. Brian. Brian Brian. I love it, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, Brian, well, Emily, wouldn't it be awesome to imagine this? You're all, let's say everyone in your address book right now. Imagine if I could see your address book and then you could see mine and you could see who I'm friends with

and I could see who you're friends with and I could like, I could have a party and buy all your friends and make hell no. I don't, it's private. I don't want anyone to know what I'm friends with and what I'm doing. That's just a vision of privacy and I know that was like a few years, you'll feel it for you just for Facebook.

And I'm like, oh, there you go. Everything I do is out there so in a way. And that's stuck up on me. And I was literally like, horrified. I'm like, oh, that's because you don't have a lot of friends. Like I have so many friends. And I don't think they'd like, you know, it was like, it was different world. But then robots will just be here in a few years.

I'll be like, I can't remember life without my robot. And it's happening faster and faster. You know, the rate of innovation is exponential. So it just keeps creeping up faster and faster. Whereas humans, we're like step by step. We're just slowly evolving, slowly waking up. But so yes, I think that's gonna happen. But I also think maybe there'll be a revolt.

I think so too. I think there's as humans that we innately would like to connect with other humans. And I think that right now we act here in a crisis of connection. And we don't really know how to have intimacy, how to connect with one another. And that to me, that's just the most, I mean, I'm all four vibrators, vibrators on steroids. If it's a robot, but I still think I'm always, is the body that I was born in the year. I was born in going to crave human connection.

I crave it now still. Like what I'm just like with my phone all day or talking to, I don't think. It's a really good point because you're talking about the great use of technology is like vibrators and things that are enhancements and they're not replacing intimacy. No, and even though everyone fears that and that's what already what we hear from men so much

is like a protest. Like the vibrator is gonna replace me and you know, I feel like that it's, that the true orgasm only comes through a penis. If you're in a heterosexual relationship, wouldn't really forget that. Forget that, it comes everywhere.

Let's talk about virtual reality porn. I've taken a gander through that land, I've checked it out, I've seen it's very realistic. What'd you think? I thought it was, I was in a room with a bunch of men. It was like a few years ago on Amsterdam. The first time I saw it and they were investing in some of the early, you know, VR, almost four years ago.

And I was like, I put the goggles. Headset. Headset. Him in this room and, you know, you see all these women, they're crying. They're like, it was like an orgy increase or something. It was all these beautiful people in a castle and you're saying you feel like you're actually there in the room. And there's all these beautiful people and a castle in your scene. You feel like you're actually there in the room. There's all these beautiful people.

There's a woman and a man coming up to me. It feels like they're moving towards you. The guy next to me was developing, he's like, turn around and you turn around and you're even in a virtual world. I could absolutely see that replacing everything that we know right now. If I was into porn, I'm really not. I'm not as much of a, I know, I enjoy it when I enjoy it, but it doesn't consume me, but right now,

since I actually think that porn is already a huge problem, not just for people who are watching porn, but for kids today, I absolutely will see that being the future of sex of everything and kind of just in... There's definitely a lot of money there, isn't there? I mean, there's a lot of money that comes from the porn industry into technology and especially at the moment into virtual reality. And we want to we sort of also with that fantasy we want to believe and so it's sort of like it's so exciting that something could leap off the screen and start to become more real and more sensory and maybe we can attach scent releases so you can smell all the things. So there's all these interesting innovations coming out.

It still feels, I don't know about you when you were watching it and there's like all these people in the room. It still feels, whether or not there's other people in the room, kind of a bit clunky. And maybe that's just we're getting used to it. But there's still this awareness that this is not your real world. Right, exactly. It does feel that I just thought it was exactly.

And to me, it wasn't more so, it wasn't more titillating for me than actually watching porn, you know, you're running the mill porn right now. But I was kind of put it by myself and the shoes of people who are sort of that's their main source of release. But it is clunky, but it's also like, it's another thing. So when we're, they say that poor, we have to keep escalating and escalating. You get a roused, you get a vertical reality.

It is. Another thing. I mean, when you look through that, and there's just like a big pair of balls in your face that are like virtual reality balls, you're like, oh my god, what are you doing? I don't even want the reality balls. It is like, this is like, two bit.

This is too much VR for me. Give me that. Yeah. If you didn't do that, what else is going on with you? Tell me, what are you excited about right now? Reality balls, this is like too much VR for me. Give me that. Adject. If you didn't do that, what else is going on with you? Tell me, what are you excited about right now? Well, so aside from the virtual reality and the robots and all the more obvious stuff, what I'm really interested in is probably a bit more of the darker side is, I don't know.

But really interesting technology that's being developed for crime and violence for human trafficking, for sexual assault reporting in all different areas of the world. So in Iran, we have apps that wear two thirds of women experience domestic violence. We have these apps that you can signal without looking like an app that signal like legal help, family help. I've, I mean, I've heard about these apps, because right now it's scary. You could lose your life if you're the one who's reporting sex traffic, it's dangerous.

So who's creating these apps and how can people find them? Lots of not-for-profit organizations. If you go to Future of Sex Instagram, I list a lot of these and all the new ones that are coming out in Japan, they have big problem on the subways with growing. Oh yeah, yes, forever they would grow big. Like forever, they're like,

I'm gonna go to subway and get grouped. Yep, forever they would grow big. Like forever they're like, I'm going to go to somewhere and get groped. Yep. So they have separate carriages for separate genders. And now a week ago they released this UV stamp where you could stamp your, you know, the guy that, I'm assuming it's a guy, right, the person that gropes you. And it sort of identifies them as a groper. And it's a deterrent. I don't know.

Like a sex offender, but you're just, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, you've been, yeah, sold out, sorry, sold out in an hour. But so there's like really interesting cultural things in South Africa, they have the RayPak, which is a female condom fitted with barbs. So, and you know, it's still prototype phase,

but encouraged to wear on blind dates and at parties and it attaches to anything that penetrates it. And so you have to go to hospital to get it removed. And in that case, you know, I think that's amazing. So these things are also fascinating, a bit of a darker side, less pleasure and more. Yeah, but that's okay, it's about all of it. I mean, I think that it's like everything with, there's pleasure and pain, right?

There's good and bad and everything. Yeah, it's like, so how can technology help us with all of our sexuality? And then there's the cool stuff like the education stuff, which, you know, everyone's had bad sex. If we had any at all, we had bad sex. There is a lot, what do you think,

what is your favorite place right now you think to go for sex education? Oh, there's a couple, okay. So OMGS is it oldie, but a goodie just. It's not even that people, a lot of people don't know about OMGS. They're incredible well I just I think it's such a cool example of sex tech doing really amazing things for female

sexuality and and their partners so ohmgs is this platform you can go on and learn about how to bring yourself or a woman to orgasm and they they developed this through a study they did the first of its kind 2000 women between the ages of 18 and 96 and how they bring themselves to orgasm. So essentially how they masturbate and they took that data of 2000 women and they identified 12 different techniques of how we masturbate. The cool thing is they gave it names which is going to be like the dipty do this sort of shifting. Yeah of thing. You have to, this shifting, whatever it is. Yeah. But I thought that was so cool because aside from like, wow, I can learn new ways to masturbate and pleasure is kind of limitless and I can inspire myself or my partner.

They gave us language that we can use that's not kind of. I love that. I knew where that's going to get women some places to start. So like, I'm not really sure I'd touch myself. And they're like, oh, here's examples. It's a great place to start. Even if you don't fall into those 12 categories. You're like, oh, here's ways to touch my clitoris because right now I don't even I'm terrified. I don't know where to start. I've never masturbated before. Exactly. So, okay, we've got to call about robots.

Yes, we have Ryan, 30 in California who wants to talk about having sex with robots. Of course. Hey, what's going on? Ryan.. Hey, real life, ladies, not robotly. Yeah, real. Yes, at least today we're real for real. I know today, but then tomorrow, you know, with all the deep fake, you know, video deep fake voice, I could be talking to a robot one day. That's true. Well, you know, there are like real music DJs anymore on series XM. There is, but a lot of the terrestrial stations, it's like they're not even having people. I might not know as maybe tomorrow won't be here but

today we are here what's going on right and i always love the real thing but i guess the point that i would like to make is you know it's not really a big difference if i can't tell the difference right that big deal i would totally have sex with robot and if i could have my own sex robot would however i would still be kind of a

shame to be i don't know why i feel like it would be like it's like it's someone came over and they you know open up the closet in my sex robot sellout i would be embarrassed and i can't put my finger on exactly why i don't know why there's a little bit of shame there maybe it's because sex toys for men are kind of a taboo still now here that is like an extreme

toy mm-hmm you know it's like well part of it interesting yeah also it if we're talking about a full fledged like doll from head to toe this um... this doll would have to represent a woman uh... for me it would have to be so realistic or it would be fall under what's

called the uncanny valleys. Sorry I'm in like the streets right now. The uncanny valley which is a unsettling feeling that people experience when Android they closely resemble humans but they aren't quite there. There's something that's not quite right about it so you look at this kind of dead lifeless face and if it doesn't look exactly like a human then we get unsettled by it. So you look at this kind of dead lifeless face. And if it doesn't look exactly like a human, then we get unsettled by it. So I think that we're quite a ways away, but once we get there,

hey, I'll be a customer. Okay, well, what do we think though, Brianny Cole? Do you think that how close are we to that? Yeah, closer than we think. To look at the realistic, how about what he'd be like, is my penis in a real-pert human,

or is it in a robot? I do not know. Look, I've seen a real botics harmony AI, and I did have that, yeah, if you saw honey. She's the most vulnerable harmony, right? Yeah, yeah. She's the one that's the most well-known right now robot. She is, and they're doing amazing technology with her

and using the artificial intelligence, but to your point, yeah, that Uncanny Valley definitely exists. I remember when she woke up and, well, we turned her on and I saw her, you know, light up and her eyes opened and she looked around and I thought, oh my God, this is so real. And then I let like, failed a bit. And I was like, oh, you.

And I was like, no, this is not, I'm not into this. So yeah, I totally agree with you. And I do think we're a bit further off with that. And like to make it really real, I do think it has to be robotic in that, yeah, the limbs can move. And everything at the moment, it's going to hang in your wardrobe. And it's really heavy.

And if someone comes around and the heavy, many falls out, yeah, you probably are going to be embarrassed. It is still fringe. And just like we were saying, we're dating apps before. People were embarrassed with dating apps 10 years ago. I haven't had the long it was. But now it's normal. And so I can't imagine a few children,

let's say 10, 15 years, when this technology is good enough. And people are like, yeah, like this is... Yes, this is my robot. Hello. Yeah, yeah. It's like a movie commander. Kind of sad. Thanks, Ryan. It's not a crazy kind of style. Thanks, Ryan.

What about self pleasure? How is this going to help women? Like, how is it going to help women? You think like, oh, MGS is a great place to go. I'm a MGS. And like websites and platforms, I know you probably speak a lot about toys. Like, you know, there's interesting evolution of vibrators,

dildos, sex toys that were, you know, the oldest one discovered 37,000 years ago, that could be considered sex tech if we think about tech as just a tool. And today we have so many different sex toys that are either cocktail rings or neck clases. We also have a little girl. She's got the craves. She's got the craves, yeah, the best.

It's so interesting. I think this is sex tech. Any technology that's designed to enhance your sexuality, there's technology inside that necklace. And then there's things that don't even have to vibrate. I mean, it doesn't look like a big, phallic object. It's kind of this sleek, nice. Well, I think that's also, I'm just gonna let you all hear it

because it felt like it's strong. Oh, yeah, really? How many settings does that have? Whoa, that's a, I'm just gonna let you all hear it. Cause I felt like it's strong. Oh, here I live. How many settings does that have? Whoa, that's a third one. A lot. Oh. This is my vibrator necklace, sexwithfamily.com slash vesper. Go to my Instagram, sex with Emily.

I just like that. I could be a DJ type thing too. Yeah, I put these little things out, sex with Emily, phrases, my name, masturbate manifest, turn me on, and I come first. I love this company, I love masturbate manifest. Turn me on. And I come first. I love this coming. I love Craig Muck. This is so good.

This is like a secret club. If you get one of these and then you see another friend and you're like, oh, you got that one. Yeah, we got it. Do you have you tried one of these? Do you like toys? How do you feel about it? Yeah, so what I was going to mention is one of my faves

is the womanizer. And that's not vibrating. We love it. I mean, air suction, technology. She's so much fun. She's talking about, she sleeps, you are so much fun. You were essentially married to the womanizer.

I sleep with her in my pillow. It turns the lights off and, yeah, it's funny. Like, it's true. What I have? When I have friends say over, I'm like, fuck, I gotta move it. Yeah.

Maybe don't. You love telling me. Well, if it's like a girlfriend. A womanizer, you love it? That I'm not trying to see. Yeah, I think that that's a really cool tech that's like, okay, cool. Thank goodness we discovered that you don't have to have like a big stone dildo or a big looking huge thing. You can have this amazing air suction technology. It's also super quiet now. They're making that technology that's like very quiet. And it's designed for

female anatomy. And this is the interesting thing I think about the evolution of sex toys. So women is, we're really focusing on designing for women's bodies instead of just like something that looks so amazing to welcome so many women into the sex industry. Sex tech industry, there's so many women who are like, because before toys were all made by men, they were like all look like penises or the porn stars on the boxes. And right now, we realize because there is a stigma we hear of this men are like, oh, the toys are going to replace them. Like, it doesn't even look like your penis. It's not valid. Most sex toys that you see, this little tiny vibrate around my neck can give you so much

pleasure, but it's never going to replace, you know, a penis, necessarily. But your penis also doesn't do things that these little vibrators can do and that's fine. Our orgasms, I guess it's just more like that we think that our organ is an additive. Yeah, add it on. Yeah, that's not obsessed with your failing objects like you are. Yeah, you know, and who would want their penis to look like that? No, you would. You actually, when you be calling me right now, if your penis looks like this, so true.

I mean, we covered the sex toys for women, but I'm curious what you think about sex toys for guys. I mean, they're saying there's not much out there for guys. For me, I look at the flashlight and a couple of other things, but if you looked at anything beyond that, you know, the flashlight is great. Like, when I first started years ago, that was like the one I'm like oh, have you tried a flashlight which is the male masturbation sleeve that they They can kind of just apply different textures and pressures to your penis if you're always using your hand It might be nice to feel something different

But then there are things like I truly like the hot octopus. That's a great masturbation Is that like a tango? Yeah, it's kind of it's different than a tango It's kind of like a oscillator. It's not necessarily a vibrator. It has this little thing that oscillates around your frenulum and it can feel great and it can help you with disabilities. It's really it's been actually great technology for men. I also love the things that like Wevibe is doing with the WoTEC. With you can use an app and men kind of play with their balls or perineum. What are the new ones? The vector and the perineum.

The vector is for the prostate and the perineum and then the verge is like a cock ring that goes that also hits your perineum. This is cool. So now you're teaching me something about sex tech for men because I always feel like I get that question about what about me? Yeah. There's a lot for sex tech for men. There are.

There's a lot more toys. I just feel like I don't know. I mean, I think some of this is falling away, but to have judgments around how we're going to achieve orgasms and pleasure as long as like everything is working for you and it's consensual. I'm still I'm so open to learning about all of it, but this is a lot more out there for a for a man and for women for everybody. Yeah. Lassur for all. And then we have Tilly Dildonix, which is the one thing that I just love the word. Can we just say Tilly Dildonix? Tilly Dildonix.

Tilly Dildonix. Yesy dildonix. Telly dildonix. Telly dildonix. Telly dildonix. To find telly dildonix. Telly dildonix. Super connected sex toys. So via Bluetooth or a Wi-Fi connection, and you can connect either a male masturbator or a female vibrator of women with with-volvers.

But it's basically connecting sex toys over a Bluetooth connection. Or Wi-Fi. So there's a couple of things that are interesting here. I often find that the Teli deal donics are marketed towards couples, but I do wonder if couples actually are the ones using them. We see a lot of camgirls use them and that's a really great use of it. They're now incorporating that with VR technology as well, so you're getting a more realistic feeling.

Cam girls in VR technology makes absolute sense, of course. That's what's driving the industry. The more real you can get it in those instances where people are lacking that they want it. But for long-distance relationships, it's still interesting and got some mixed reviews. Sometimes, the simple is best and like FaceTime. For a small business. Yeah, I love the little FaceTime sex, right? relationships. It's still interesting and got some mixed reviews. Sometimes that's simple as best and like FaceTime. I love the little FaceTime sex. That can also enhance

intimacy. I have a question for you, Bryony Cole. It's your sex podcast, sex tech expert here. People ask me this all the time, so I was going to throw it back at you. Do it. How has being in the sex, at least you get to put tech there, it makes you a little more legit. I'm just sex with Emily, so she's obviously a prostitute, but for you, sex, tax, futures, how does it impact your sex life and dating life? Yeah, it's been an interesting ride. I will say outside the sex and dating life, just a general perception when I started this podcast, I remember my mom called me up because I had an interview about burning man and

the orgy dome and I was interviewing interview about burning man and the orgy dome and I was interviewing someone about that and how that impacted their life. And I remember my mum calling me up and being like, what are we going to tell our friends in Australia? So I had that aspect first, which was just like, okay, well, you can have to deal with this. Coming from a tech background, I used to work at Microsoft. So it was like a big leap into the. Yeah, she's like, I love that Microsoft card. Not so much orgy burning man.

Orgy don't. She's like, I just couldn't listen anymore. So I was like, okay Mum. So that took, you know, three years. But in terms of sex life, yeah, I think people think, you know, I recently got in a relationship and I put it on Facebook, so I was so excited. And all the jokes were like, with a robot. So I think everything I just spent my life, I think sex with robots every day. So it does. If you talk about it, your job doesn't mean that that's what you do. But you know what I like is that the more you talk about it, the more it normalizes the conversation for everyone else.

That's what we're trying to do here, right? We're doing the mission. Have one of the normal, can we just get people to talk about sex? It's not a dirty word, it's not a bad word. We're'm trying to do it here. I want to make you know how long can we just get people to talk about sex? It's not a dirty word. It's not a bad word. We're just trying to educate you and help. Yeah, because it's a very confusing planet. I understand that.

Okay. Barney Cole, so glad you're here. I have to add. Thank you for coming in. I have five questions that we ask every guest. Oh. There are quicky questions. Are you ready?

Yeah. Your biggest turn on. Oh, my biggest turn on. I didn't take that. I didn't take that quickly. Did I? Well, I think just like that it just just tall big people. Biggest turn off. Oh, fucking impolite people. Can I say? Yeah, fuck yeah. Yeah, just people with no manners. Oh, it's the grossest thing. Wow, what makes good sex? Hmm, communication.

Something you would tell your younger self about sex and relationship. Oh, have heaps of it and learn about yourself and just like go for it. Number one sex tip. Oh, just communicate what you want. Just tell people what you want. Yeah, and be a good listener. I like it. You're right. Just tell people what you want. And be a good listener. I love it. You're right. How can people fight you? Easiest way, future of sex podcasts. So you can look that up wherever you get your podcasts.

Or on Instagram at future of sex. Alright, thanks for being here. Alright, we're going to take a quick break and we come back. We're going to get into all your questions. Alright guys. This is it. This is what I love. I love it. I love answering your questions. It's why I exist on the planet. If you want a question, answer on the show.

Just go to sexwithendly.com. Click the Ask Emily tab, fill out the short form, or email us feedback at sexwithendly.com. I just ask that you please include your name and you can change your name. We don't care. You're age where you live and how you listen toemily.com. I just ask that you please include your name, and you can change your name. We don't care your age where you live and how you listen to the show. All right, thanks guys. Jamie, you wanna read emails? Of course.

Okay, so this first one comes to us from Jeff, who's 27 in Alabama. Hi, Dr. Emily. My wife and I have been together for five years now married for two. We have a fairly active sex life and my absolute favorite thing to do is go down on her. I could do that for hours.

What a saint. However, it seems like she doesn't have the same enthusiasm as I do about giving oral, and a couple times she's actually made me bleed because of her teeth. How do I approach this with her in a loving way without making her feel bad, and also avoid slamming the BJ door shut, never to be open again? All right, Jeff. I'm sorry that you're bleeding and having pain, this is not what we want

from the oral sex, the sitch. So here's a thing. There's a few reasons why people often don't have enthusiasm or on oral. Like maybe she, one time had a bad experience with it. And she was with a guy and she tried to give him oral, and he was like, that's really bad, or something happened. And we just kind of just locked down.

We just kind of shut down and decide that we're not going to do oral. She's causing you pain. It sounds to me like maybe she doesn't really know the right way or she's never been directed on how to actually give proper oral sex. So my favorite thing is the compliment sandwich. It works wonders. Because the sex talk is hard you guys. I get it. It's not easy to talk about our sex life and usually we just don't

say anything at all because we're terrified that our partners are going to judge us, leave us, um, shame us. So the best thing to do is just to start out, here's a compliment sandwich, ready? Something that's really something that you love about your sex life. So, babe, God, I really love when you go down to me, you know how much I love going down to you, oral sex, you know, can feel so amazing, but sometimes I feel when you're doing it, your teeth graze me in a way that can be kind of painful. So, it would be great if I can give you some tips,

maybe you could use your tongue, and maybe your lips some more. Maybe we can use some lube that helps makes it, you know, slide along a little easier. I think that would make it feel better for you and for me. And I know that when you do perform oral on me, it makes me feel so much more loved by you. So it's a great way to phrase it whenever you're trying to talk to your partner about something by leading with something that you really do love that's positive. Kind of putting in something you like

to change in the ending up with why you think it would be great for both of you. And that's really how we want to have the sex talk. Because if you can't figure it into figuring this equation, maybe your request is kind of selfish. Maybe it's more about your pleasure. So if you can think about, why do I want this thing for my partner? And how can it really enhance both of our sex life? That's what you're going to want. Now listen, if she's not really enthusiastic about oral sex, and again, it could be clearly she doesn't have a lot of experience with it,

or she doesn't know what she's doing You can let her know how much you love Performing on her and how it makes you feel loved and maybe also Give her some more tips But then you could ask her if she's like nope. I just don't want to do it. It's time. I think find out We often forget to actually ask the why is tarp partner? Well, what do you think in a very open Conversation no judge shaming blaming? So what is it about oral?

You think that doesn't sit right for you. What is it, you know, is there something that happened? Is there ways that I can, you know, help you through it? Cause you don't wanna close the door on oral. So again, it's not gonna get solved with one conversation. You guys, you know that the sex conversation is something that you practice and you have it often. And that's how you're gonna have the sex life that you want.

Thanks for your email, Jeff. Okay, this next one comes to us from Kristen, 26th and Florida. Hi there. I have no idea how to even word this. I'm a single female that works with nearly all men and in male dominated feel and nearly all of them are married. Yet one of the men I work closely with, who is married, has been flirting with me and trying to get physical while at work and has put me in an uncomfortable position because I am not into it at all. I'm very fortunate to not have dealt with anything

like this at previous jobs, so I'm clueless on what to do. Do you have any tips on how to get him to stop without having to tell my slash our supervisors who are all males? I've since just been avoiding being alone with him as much as possible, and don't want to move departments since I'm in my dream position. Thank you. All right, Kristen. Thank you so much for sending in your question.

I'm really sorry that you're going through this, and it sounds like you are in a tough situation. Now, I understand that you don't want to go to your supervisors, but I really think that is the best way you're going to deal with this. I know you're in your dream position, but there's been a lot happening now in our country, you know, with me too.

This is a common situation in the workplace, and I'm hoping if you're at the right company at your dream job, that there's going to be people there that are going to help you. Are there any other women in the office that perhaps you could talk to first and get their take on it? You know, that's why if something does happen, they are aware of this conversation. And if you have HR, that's why they're there. Even if you don't take action, make them aware of this as well. Now listen, you can also let him know that you want to keep everything professional,

that you find that his advances are not professional, and that you don't feel comfortable spending time with him. You need your space, that when he's touching you, that that's not okay. Now, if this doesn't work and you still feel like he's hounding you, and then this is a problem, I'm still having gone to the supervisors.

I don't know, I just put this part outside just. No, I think you have to listen. I think you have to go to your supervisors. If it's your dream job, then you're gonna have a dream supervisor's. But if they kind of, everyone there, you're saying that they're married and they're, they say, oh, boys club, then maybe you could find

this dream position at a company that's gonna respect you, respect respect women, and be able to give you the kind of work environment that you deserve. Because you don't have to be an environment like that, not in 2019. I'm telling you, 20 years ago, I was an environment like that, and I didn't know. I didn't know that it wasn't, that I never thought it was like abnormal. I'm like, okay, men are going to hit on women, and I'm just going to kind of smile and keep going. But we are in a different place right now. There's different laws set up and I want you to take care of yourself. And if they don't take

care of you, this company, I promise you you will find job elsewhere. Yes. Take care of them. Definitely. Yeah, dude. I mean, that's tough. That is tough. I mean, it sucks, dude. I was in those positions a lot. I used to work in politics and it was like, I just assumed that men were groping weird, and that's, I would never do anything, but that's what you had to kind of go through to get to just kind of live and exist in a company like that, especially working in politics. You're like, okay, they're gonna be groping,

groping, but I thought it was the price of doing business. No, exactly, and it's just like, that's your work most of your time. You wanna feel comfortable there. All right, well, I'll help it work out for you. Yes. Keep us posted. Definitely. Oh my God. Please. All right. This next one comes to us from Tyler 27 and Hawaii. Hi, Dr. Emily. Are there any good male penis vibrators non prostate? I was thinking about if there was such a thing like how women have fibers for themselves to orgasm, but for men. If so, I'd love to know what some good ones are.

Thank you, love your show. All right, Tyler. I'm so glad you asked this question because yes, yes, yes, there are some amazing toys for men now. Even in the last five years, I have to say, very excited about the male market. So high octopus makes some great penis vibrators.

There's a pulse three and that essentially wraps around your frenulum and it oscillates. So it's kind of like a little like a cozy for your penis. It that's exactly what I was thinking That's exactly what it looks like. It's like a cozy and it's kind of sits there and it stimulates your freinulum Which is you know the underside of your penis where the shaft meets tip and that can feel amazing High octopus also makes the jet and take these two metal balls to run a body silicone ring that also vibrates on your freinulum And then there's the Weviberge, which is a penis ring that you actually put your balls through. So it vibrates your shaft, your balls, and your perinium. And there is also the G-viber, the G-vibe mini, and this can be used

by anyone. It can be used by anyone with any body part. And it feels great. You can stroke it up and down the shaft with the penis. You can use it in all different parts of the body. It's great for massaging different body parts and I think you'd really like any of those. So you can check them out all on our site, sexzami.com, click on the shop tab and you will find those. Let me know what you like, Tyler, and always get lub, lub lub lub. All right guys, thank you so much for listening to the show for supporting it for reviewing us wherever you listen, give us five stars. We love that.

Thanks for sharing it with a friend, you guys, and just for supporting the show all these ears. I love you all. Thanks to our amazing team, Ken, Kristen, Michelle, Alisa, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithemily.com. you