Sex With Emily - The Orgasm Gap: How to Last Longer in Bed

Episode Date: August 30, 2014

Today’s episode answers the age old dilemma for men and women: How can I enjoy a more fulfilling sex life? Flooded by listener emails about dissatisfying sex lives, today’s show focuses on the “orgasm gap” between men and women.Men tend to arrive to the party earlier than women (on average) so how do we close this gap so everyone can have their fair share of orgasms? Women can have multiple orgasms, so why do men have 3 orgasms for every 1 that women have?So what is the exact definition of Premature Ejaculation (PE)? In the studio contributing to the dialogue along with Anderson is Jeff Abraham, CEO of Promescent, the only FDA approved treatment for PE.Emily and Jeff define the difference between PE, ED  and how to know what’s going on with your situation. Jeff divulges his fascinating journey to launching the Promescent, and the personal and tragic story about the doctor who created this treatment for his patients.Emily shares the news about the innovative nail polish that  thwarts predators by detecting date rape drugs. With 1 in 5 women being sexualy assulted in their lives, it’s imperative to know how to better protect your wife, sisters and friends.A gay caller is concerned about his future and wants to know if he should start dating women to have a more “normal” lifestyle. Can you really switch horses in the middle of the stream?  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, welcome to Sex with Emily. Tonight's show you're gonna love. We're gonna be talking about the orgasm gap between men and women Why if so many women have an a hard time orgasm? We've got Jeff here from Permessant. It's gonna be a great show. Thanks everyone for listening and for supporting my sponsors My latest electronic obsession. It's not a vibrator. It is my no-no pro Getting rid of unwanted hair as a woman. It's a part-time job seriously I'd be afraid to add up how much money I've spent on razors and waxing and threading. I mean, I've tried it all. The bottom line is, the Nono Pro is the best and dare I say only way to remove unwanted hair with no pain. It's for men too, you know

that hair on your back, your long neck hairs, your chest, whether it's your leg, your arms, your face, you will love how easy this is to use and the weeks of long lasting results. NONO PRO comes with a 100% 60-day money-back guarantee and when you purchase, you'll get a $50 gift card to an award-winning skincare line. Go to NONONOEMILY.COM, that's NONONONOMILY.COM. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day.

Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got every sense of humor. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I'm off here. So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithendly.com where you can check out my podcast,

check out my vlogs, improve your sex life, because that's really what you're all about, right? A playlist in the show. You can subscribe and iTunes, we do two shows a week, you'll never ever miss another show again. And I'm here with Anderson. Of course you are. Hi.

Is that Anderson? How are you? I'm good, how are you? I'm fantastic. Good, we're good now that we're sitting. We both had kind of haptic days. Oh, it was hellish day. I'm so I mean this has been the goal to just get to a place where I can sit down across from him. Oh, I love that. That means you feel good. I'm actually in my happy moment right now. Yeah, it's actually paying off. It's

like a lot of times I'm like, oh yeah, if I can only get to the end of the day and I can get that manny petty and then you're like your feet are still hurting because she's like using the wrong tool. This is working for me. I love it. It's so relatable. You must be married or something. I love it. I love it. Okay. I also have my special guests tonight is Jeff Abraham from the CEO of absorption pharmaceuticals and the fact that which is promising. You've all heard me talk about promising which is a delay spray to last longer and beds. So tonight we're going to be talking about not just lessing longer, but also the orgasm gap.

But you ever realize that a lot of women, they just might not orgasm when you're ready to orgasm. And in fact, there is a true orgasm gap. There was a study published by Men's Health and women were asked what is most likely to prevent you from having an orgasm. And the second highest response was my partner doesn't last long enough. So that's one, but also, so no, that's you, you should keep listening.

And according to a large scale survey of American adults, women have about one orgasm for every three that a man enjoys. What about equality, here are people. Does it write Jeff? What do you think? Is that why you exist on the planet? It should be a minimum of one to one. Here are people. Does it write Jeff? What do you think? Is that why you exist on the planet? It should be a minimum of one to one. I know, exactly.

A minimum, because women we can have multiple. Exactly. That's just like BS. So I call this the orgasm gap. And it's been appointed attention since like feminists identified it during the heyday of the sexual revolution that there is a gap. And a lot of times, you know, for women, it's a much more, you know, it's harder to read more time. There's like the whole hook up culture now and just women just

aren't having the orgasms so we're just gonna give you some tips here so I'm getting your orgasms guys do important to everyone's orgasms are important so we're gonna be talking about that tonight we've got some sex in the news we're answering some of your emails and I'm just very excited for tonight's show. Oh some of the emails topics include a swingers cruise, a couple at a hustler event, quality lubricants, and kettles for men. So I've got first of all a little sex in the news here for you,

which I don't know Jeff. I don't know if you've heard of a story this news. College students created a nail polish that changes colors when exposed to date rape drugs. This just came out. This is amazing. So there's four male students, you'll like these young entrepreneurs, Jeff is a major entrepreneur.

At North Carolina State University, they're attempting to put an end to date rape with their own hands. More accurately, they're ending it in with the hands of their friends, girlfriends and female supporters. So these guys invented a nail polish called Undercover Colors that changes shades when touched by a date rape drug. So if the woman wants a test, she can just stick it in the nail pot and in the drink and it changes colors.

And the company calls itself the first fashion company working to prevent sexual assault. And it can detect Rofanol, that's called the Garufi, rofenol, Xanax and GHB. So how it works is when you're wearing the nail polish, they can test their drink by stirring it with their finger, it might not be the most polite thing to do. But that's how you do it. And the company helps to make, would be rapist fear, the potential repercussions of being caught trying to drug a woman.

I think it's brilliant on two facets. Number one, from the business aspect. But number two, I can't think of anything that's more vile that a man can do. Then do something like that to a woman, render her unconscious and then violate that. Exactly. So I think it's great from a business standpoint. Obviously, from an entrepreneurial standpoint, it's brilliant. But I think just from a personal standpoint, I think it's excellent

that there's a way now to combat that because I don't think there's a week that goes by, I don't see an article about somebody using a date rate, right? It's so true. It says 18% of women will be sexually assaulted in their life, 10. That's one in five women in our country. Yeah, and that's probably under-reported because think of how many people because of shame and everything else, it never even makes it to being reported. Exactly. Totally. So that was just the innovative sex story of the week. So I hope they, and they're raising money too. So you can go to their Facebook page which, oh, I don't have it on here, but I'm going to what's called. We'll find it, Google it. Oh, it'll be on our website. Go to sexelmy.com and we'll tell you all about it. So that's what we got here for Sex and the News.

And we're going to go and eat. We'll take a call real quick because we have a caller. Let's see how we roll with this, Anderson. Hello, hi, Jason. Hey, how's it going? Hey, you're on the Sex and the Emily show. Thanks for calling. Sure.

How can we help you? I'm here with Jeff Abraham from Promesant and we would love to help you with anything going on in your life. Okay. The question is, I'm a little older, I'm mid-30s, and I've dated guys exclusively on my whole life, and I've been pretty successful getting the kind of guys I like. But at this point, I'm'm getting older and I'm noticing that like I'm just excluded as far as just for an age consideration, not necessarily for dissimilarity

and lifestyle or anything like that. Like I get along with somebody that's 20-2 just as well as somebody that's 40 or whatever is out of. Right. Not a problem. But so now I'm kind of getting to the point where I'm like okay okay, you know, I'm probably going to be on this plan another 35, 40 years. You know, I'm not going to be able to pull the guys that I always pull. So I'm thinking like, you know, I've never really been with the woman before. So if I just kind of give up on guys that might be the best thing for my legacy rather than just being put to that guy trying to pull somebody.

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, on of the age where before all this stuff was in bold type thing, I'm kind of in the pre-ipriday all that stuff. The new stuff to me is just like so-called to somebody's grandparents, it's totally foreign to them. So like this whole like getting there to a dude was never on the radar and it never will be. Okay but Jason, here's the thing, you've been with men your entire life, you've never been with a woman and you're making this intellectual decision, faith that you could be with a thing. You've been with men your entire life. You've never been with a woman and you're making this intellectual decision, faith that you could be with a woman. I mean, you could try. There's nothing wrong with trying it out and see if you like it. But when you think it would have hit you before to be with women, I just can't imagine that you're going to all of a sudden switch, but you never know. Is it because you want to have children?

Well, I just, I could have seen where my life is heading right now is not i'm not going to be the guy in the apartment for be that just you know might be gay might not be you know watching this is that these are the stuff i just i just don't feel like that's not something i want right so i mean

uh... so today it's been great no problems but now it's just starting to be a you know reality check. I know, but I feel like you're making these negative predictions into the future, where you don't even know what's going to happen. I mean, are you had successful relationships with men? I have. I mean, a lot of them, not as successful as I'd like them to be. I think I have forced relationships just because you need to have somebody to love, I think.

But I don't think I've put together something that works and it really works. It's just something that is tolerable. Okay, so Jason, I think if you wanted a woman, I mean I think you should try it. I always say, try everything once. And if it's not your problem. I don't break that tour because I feel like that's a deal breaker for most women. So how would I like to do that? You tell her that this is not, I'm done with that.

And I like to try. You know, I don't think that it's something that I would bring up right away, to be honest. On the first day, you're the first woman I've ever dated. I would wait until you've never even like kissed a woman or anything. I have like a middle school high school car. Yeah, so it's been a while. I wouldn't lead with the fact that you lead La Degade lifestyle.

I would just go out in the date and see how it goes and see how you feel and that someone you're comfortable with. And if it does escalate to the point of where you're going to have sex, I mean, if it does get to that point, I'm sure you would already have told her. But I wouldn't feel like you need to lead with that. But I think it sounds like it's something that you feel like you need to do. But I also think that this whole notion that it's not what you didn't picture it for yourself. And, you know, you are so far, you've been a gay man.

I think you could find someone that you love gay, you know, or a man or a woman. Either way, I don't think it has to do with being gay or not i think it's about where you're at so maybe i mean it you i don't know it sounds like a guy you in a good place right now like emotionally and you depressed i feel like i'm very like i'm in my prime and i feel like i'm very like happy i just feel like

i'm gonna i don't like chasing anymore i don't like chasing guys and more like maybe it's a guy's your pick anymore. I'm not living that life anymore. Early on, he said something about now he's getting 35 and he can't pull the quality of guy or the same kind of guys. Being a 57 year old male, I can tell you that if you do decide to date women, you're going to run into the same thing. Your options as you age, it's not specific to gay or straight as you age your options

you know become more limited closer to your own age unless you win a lottery. Yeah exactly. You have to be a movie star, have some kind of notoriety. Yeah. So I don't think that's anything to do with being gay. I think it's more just facing your reality as you were sure. Exactly. Now I think that's a great point.

I see but with my parents are still together and everything. I think that what they have is kind of like how I can see myself aging into that. You know what I mean? Like, I don't see the things I would do now, or totally still the same thing as a 20-year-old would do. But at 50 and 60, that would just be retarded even. Well, it sounds like you're—it sounds like you've been dating younger guys, and you've been who do and hook up, and you haven't had a serious relationship with someone maybe

your own age that's also gay, a woman but i don't think that yeah i mean jeff is right doesn't matter no matter what age your things do change opportunities change but it doesn't sound like you've actually been like looking for love in the right places then because you there are guys out there who don't just want to hook up he's sounding to like he's equating they might monogamy to a heterosexual relationship and maybe not to a gay relationship.

Yeah. I mean, could you be my yeah. Yeah. And I see gay couples that have been together 34 years seem very happy together. Yeah. I agree that I'm just like monogamy for me has been like let's keep me alive type thing versus a love thing. I hate to say but it's more of a like this is the sexual reality of it. I have to You know, right, right? What I would be in order to continue to be on a planet like I am now like I had to make decisions You know in my 20s and early 30s, right? I mean I made good decisions But so that that's from me saying I need to be the monogamous not necessarily from Monogamy is the thing right no, no, I agree. I'm with you.

I mean, monogamy is not for everybody. And I think that, but I, again, I don't think that dating a woman is going to make you clear on this. I think it's about just who you are and who you're attracted to and the partners that you pick who have the same values and want the same things that you want right now. We all change, you know? I used to go out and date all the time.

And I'm like, no, you know, I might just want to date one person. You know, we all change. And that's good that you're looking at it. And you realize I'm done with that. But it doesn't mean that just because you're done with that part of your lifestyle that it matters what you're dating a man or woman. I just think, yeah, but I don't think it's a problem if you do it. And if you do, I wouldn't bring it up like on the first date.

Okay. Keep me posted, Jason. Good luck to you. Hi. Okay. Hi, Jeff. Okay. So that was just, thanks for your, that was good input. Hi. Hi, Jeff. Okay. So that was just, thanks for your, let's get input.

Okay. So I'm talking to Jeff Abram, and he's a CEO of absorption pharmaceuticals, and we first met because of promescent, which is, you've all heard me talk about it. But first, I want you to tell me which is a, it helps with premature ejaculation. It's the only FDA-approved treatment. And I know you've all heard me talk about it, but we're gonna get into a lot more today because it's not just about that, but first, Jeff,

can you tell me the story about how you became to be the CEO of Promesson? Yes, I had a semiconductor engineering business, and I was also a single father, and my son left to go to college. And I had spent 25 years building my business and raising my son. And when he left for college, I thought it was time to maybe explore a little bit of life.

So I had, I've been very fortunate, had some success. So I decided to retire. At the same time, he left for college, and I went from being busy 20 hours a day, seven days a week, to being busy zero hours a day, seven days a week. And it was kind of a shock. And at the time, being 52 years old, I went in to see a good personal friend of mine who happened to be my physician of your role just Dr. Ronald Gilbert for my yearly PSA you know that kind of thing and while I was there he asked me if I would review a business that he had started and I said sure and after my exam we went

in and he started telling me about this you you know, promising this drug he had developed. And the interesting thing was two weeks prior to that I had watched a 60-minute segment on counterfeit drugs. And it was fascinating because 80% of it was all about the ED drugs. Because if you're going to counterfeit something, you want, yeah, biagracialisle of each of you, you want two elements come into play. Huge demand and inflated price. Because then I give you a big market and a relatively big area to come in between from

a price standpoint. And they estimated that the ED market was over $5 billion. That was legitimate between Wagner's Felsle of Eater. This is in 2009. And they said for every legitimate tab that made it, there were 1.2 knockoffs. So you can imagine it's like $10, $12 billion mark, you know, or wine. So I said to Ron, I said, how big is this PE market because he developed, permeasant for PE compared to ED.

And he said, 30% larger. I will sell on the floor. Wow. I'm like larger, he goes, yeah, and I go, what are people using now? Right. He said, there's nothing that's really good. He said, people use SSRIs. And that's a medical term for serotonin reuptake inhibitor.

And it oppressors. Depression drugs, paxols, zoloc, zoloc, you know, those kind of things. And I said, well, do they work? He goes, yeah, they increase a man's ability to, you know, not ejaculate, but they have triumal nausea, vomiting, lots of libido, suicidal thoughts. I'm like, excuse me, I'll take the PE. And I go, really, he goes, yeah, and he goes, not only that, you can't take him on demand. You're going to be intimate, you're going to use him.

You have to take him every single day. They build up in your system. They're expensive. You have all these side effects all the time. And I'm like, that's the only thing. I go, that's insane. He goes, yeah. So I ask him for a sample of it.

And this is what he, so he showed you. He's like, I made this. He showed me. So here's the product. They had already had it, and they were commercializing it. Okay, and so I Said does it have a recreational component because at the time being 52 years old having a lot of friends that were in my age range Right anyone who thinks that they were selling $8 billion a year in vigorous also feature all for people with ED Has to be smoking crack, okay? It's it's it's a recreational drug. I mean I have friends at even like Eminem

I know I know exactly so he said yeah, that's a tremendous recreational component So I ask him for a sample and I took it home and I have to be dating guy who was a financial analyst at that I'm not getting you so I call her from the parking lot. I'm like hey, I need you help me evaluate this investment I do that all the time exactly So she comes over we have dinner and she goes let's take a look at that investment. So she figures I'm going to come down with this spreadsheet, this pro-former. I have this bottle of promess and she's like, you're such a perv. I'm serious, I'm thinking of investing in this company. So the next day I call Ron, I go, what do you think? I go, first of all, the name has to be changed. He goes, you don't like promess

and he starts going into this very serious explanation about why it means prolonged two messants. Two messants is the actual name, the medical name for an erection. And he goes, you don't like that? I go, well, it's little too technical. He goes, what do you like better? I go, how about bone-like-a-porn stuff? He starts laughing. He goes, I told you. I go, that's tough. It's insane. And so I said, give me 10 bottles. He goes, where are you going? I go,'s tough to insane and so I said give me 10 bottles he goes where you going? I go the woman's volleyball house over here. I was kidding. I said I want to see if other people have the same reaction that I do Okay, so I took the 10 bottles that he gave me and I spread it out some my ex employees of the company that I had We're in their 30s 40s right some of them and then some my friends back in Pittsburgh where I was born and raised and people think

I'm a bad father, but my son was 19 years old going to UC Santa Barbara, okay? You met Nick. I was under no impression that he was like not accurate. So yeah, so I gave some to him and his friends up at UC Santa Barbara and within two weeks everyone gave me the exact same result. What do they want? What was that? Where can I get more of it? So I literally invested a couple hundred thousand dollars. I went over to Ron Rodin and checked. I said, I want to invest in this company. So I was bored. You know, I just I went over to Ron Rodin and checked, I said, I want to invest in this company. So I was bored. You know, I just retired.

Right, right. It's so funny, because before you got here, you were never talking about, I'm like, God, I just want to be the talent. And you know, it's because it's a business. And I said, but honestly, if I was just a talent, I didn't have a lot to do, I'd probably go insane. You go insane.

Because I've always been this person who's so busy. That's exactly. And I went from being busy, 20 hours, eight to be zero hours a day. So I wrote this business plan. And they said, well, that's great, but it's going to take some additional capital. We don't have that. And I went from being busy 20 hours a to B zero hours a so I wrote this business plan and they said well that's great but it's going to take some additional capital. We don't have that so I invest another couple hundred thousand dollars.

I said you have to use it for exactly what I told you to do. Okay great we'll do that. And they had great results. So in June of 2011 they asked me to take over the company and I did. And I realized we needed some more capital because we wanted to do some things. And things went really, really well. And they took off.

And they had been doing some things that really weren't, I'm not gonna say they were dumb, but they weren't really intelligent. I mean, they were doing infomercials and... For progressive. Because they're really, so this is the context before this time then, because you're always here about ED.

There was really, because I lied, I mean, I've been doing this for for eight years so all I ever heard was you know stop start method and it oppressors but there's really like if you're premature ejaculate or sometimes there's just not not always there nothing but here's the dangerous part there's so much quackery out there dear antler extract I'm not kidding no there is that bowl testicle derivative I mean shark fin I'm like, what? So what happens is, if you want to make this successful,

you develop just like, use the model of Iagre Salons of Nature, have a medical competency, be certified by the medical community. It is actually, exactly. And then the recreational follows because people aren't stupid, they'll go, hey, if it works for your PE, it's going to turn me into Superman. So we hired some pharmaceutical labs. Because even if you last 10 minutes in bed, they won't last 20, it'll double. I mean, I know

because it's amazing. It's been as long. Yeah, exactly. The one thing that I always tell people is you have to get out of the thought process that if you last long enough to satisfy your woman, that that means you have a great sex life. Do you know how many men there are? That you talk about the orgasm gap. These are not people with PE, the average healthy male, last five minutes and 14 seconds during intercourse.

The average female takes 19 minutes during intercourse to climax. On a good day. On a good day. So that's the orgasm gap you spoke of. that's why there's a billion vibrators in the world that's why there's so much extensive work yeah they're exactly but what i tell people in a big percentage of our businesses

gravitating this way right now men who don't think that they need something because they go i last long enough to satisfy my wife partner or you know but is they're tense, they're thinking about baseball score, stopping, stopping, switching positions, instead of experiencing pleasure, instead of feeling abandoned, you know, abandonment, just, you know, like reckless abandoned and just going for it. It's true. They're walking on egg shells and they're very cognizant of not ejaculate.

Right. And they're not enjoying it. It makes them robotic. Right. And so that is really when this product is mature for four to five years from now, the 80% of the business will come from people who traditionally would not even be qualified as having PE. For PE, which we're going to come back, we're going to talk about what qualifies USP, but

first we have to have a word from our sponsors. So thanks everyone for listening to this show. And as you know, I love being able to have you have the sex life you deserve. So thank you for supporting my sponsors. So Fleshlight is the number one sex toy for men. Wouldn't it be amazing if you could feel the pleasure of having sex any time, even when you don't have a partner?

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you can get anything you want, the strongest, most orgasmic vibrator of all time, as well, the Magic Wand. Go to my site, sexwithmly.com, click on the Good Vibes banner to see my favorite toys, because you know I have tried them all use coupon code gvmly 20 bets gvmly 20 go to sex with Emily dot com check it hey Jeff okay so so P E is we're talking about even it could become recreational because some guys just they don't but wouldn't technically you define P E as I always say to you move ejaculate before they want to but really like it's more is there more of a technical crazy thing if you go by the american your launch association

in the s m s n s s m s n a which is the sexual medicine side in north america these are the ruling governing bodies medically that define these terms p is someone who never last more than sixty seconds during intercom with their partner, a minute man. And I think that's so absurd because you're saying to a guy who lasts 90 seconds to this

partner needs 19 minutes, you go, you don't have Pee. Your definition is exactly a definition that I use, which makes sense, it's very pragmatic, is what is premature. Lasting not long enough to have a satisfactory sex life. Lasting not long enough to really either satisfy your partner or yourself. The idea that anything over 60 seconds is satisfactory, it's a subjective thing. You should be the judge of what is premature in your case. And now they're trying to tone it down by saying rapid ejaculation

because maybe premature, freaks people out. I think this is very similar to what ED was 20 years ago. Before there were legitimate remedies, people were so freaked out that it want to talk about it because there was a stigma. And I think the medical community has done a disservice because there's all these old wives tales about it's a loss of you know mental you know control and it's all psychological the urological association has defined specific medical conditions that cause P.E. hypertension, penile hypersensitivity, prostititis this isn't something that's in your head there There are physiological reasons

why a man prematurely ejaculates. And to have this stigma is crazy. Would people be hesitant to talk about insulin for diabetics? Would they be hesitant to talk about chemotherapy for cancer patients? Of course not. But why this stigma, people freak out when you start talking about sex. You need to take this stigma out of it and start talking about allowing people to enjoy and enhance their lives. Exactly. So, I mean, it's true, and I, so close to me, because I did date someone for two and a half years,

long time ago, it was about like 10 years ago, and he had PE, and it was, he was about a minute, if we're at a good day, or less than that, and we tried, I mean, I boy, we bought books, we tried, you know, I mean, literally everything to stop, start method, I bought books, we tried, you know, I mean, literally everything to stop start method, you would practice. And it was just so frustrating because I know like he was in his head and sex was always just so stressful. You're gathered two and a half years.

Well, you can imagine in his mind. And this is, well, now that I have such a greater understanding of it, I suppose. And the poor guy, he wasn't, he's trying to use mind techniques for something that was a physical problem. And he's trying to use mine techniques for something that was a physical obstacle. And he's not enjoying the fact. He's not enjoying it. And the one thing that is amazing is the biggest the ED market is,

20 to 30% of ED patients are actually PE patients. Because if a man has PE for an extended period of time, he will get anxiety related ED. So if you know that every time you get an erection and you're about to be intimate, if it's gonna lead to an unsatisfactory conclusion, you will eventually develop ED because you know getting the erection is going to lead to an unsatisfactory solution.

So you lose your erection. So that's how the difference between erectile dysfunction and PE. How would you define the... A erectile dysfunction is the inability to get an erection. It's the inability to actually get an erection capable of having penetration or having an erection. Because it also, like, you get one and you lose it. Yes, you can have, yeah, exactly. That happens a lot too, men, when they...

Even without ejaculating, you lose your erection. Even if your cells are not, you lose it, right? You can't do any amount of. PE is having an erection significant enough for penetration to have sex, but very quickly ejaculating and not being able to last long enough to satisfy your partner. But we find that a lot of, you know,

our customers and a lot of people that use the product, their primary thing is that this makes me feel so much better, they just feel so much more complete satisfying their woman. They just feel so much better being able to have a satisfactory relationship. Because we have people to tell us I became as actual I stopped having sex. I literally did not because they've so

much fear. All the time they're like it's just going to happen. What if I come to every single day get email about this? That's why I was like I got to I mean you run. Well, that's how we found you. And because I was doing research on videos and people talking about it. And I go, here's someone very progressive. Isn't afraid to talk about it. I've reached out to you and I'm like we need to get in touch with her because I feel like I've known you forever now. Exactly. It's only been a year and a half. I know I can't believe it because it

is true I'm like that is one of the top questions I get asked and I don't and I'm like okay you could do stop start you could do your kegels but I just know that sometimes it just doesn't work so let's talk about like how it actually works though because I mean I've used there's like a lot of questions people want to know like you sprayed you put it on your penis before like 10 minutes before Yes, eight to 10 minutes before it's a spray and here's the beauty of There have been anesthetic sprays prior to this and I'm sure a lot of your listeners will go I've used stud 100. I've used mandalay. I've used this. I've used that a lot of your listeners will go I've used stud 100 I've used mandalay I've used this I've used that

They do a delay the ejaclatory response the unfortunate part is they do it by numbing you you literally can't feel anything and they Unfortunately they transferred your partner as well, right? So you'll be in a situation you go Oh, this is great. We're lasting longer. Are we been having sex something's going on here? We're moving but no one can feel anything It's like we she's happy. I don't know. Well, general, she's not happy either because she gets numb for the transfer. That's right. So what Ron did in the brilliance of Ron was he found a formula. It's called a eutectic formula. It takes lighted cane, which is the anesthetic agent, from a crystal into an oil aqueous form. Okay. So when that happens, it penetrates the stratum corneum or the dermis. It goes to the sensory nerves underneath. It does why you wait eight to ten minutes. So you apply it eight to ten eight to ten minutes later. It's no

longer on the surface of your skin. So the man maintains it's been absorbed. The man maintains a much higher degree of surface sensitivity, which gives him the pleasure and the feeling that he's actually involved. And the woman doesn't even is even aware that you're using it. People always ask me like, will my partner know? But if he waits eight to ten minutes, then she doesn't have to know. She will not get numb. Yeah. I tell people though, and this is just me personally as a CEO of the company, it's not

that you have to do it. I just find it really strange that if you're close enough to be intimate with someone, that you're going to be hiding something like that. I mean, what are you going to run the bathroom hides? To me, you have a real issue, communication wise, if you're gonna be hiding something like that right when you're gonna run the bathroom hide spread yeah to me you have you have a real issue you communication wise if you're you know it should be about enhancing the relationship exactly i mean i used it with this guy is dating for a while and and it was funny because that was kind of his issue so he was great at pleasing me and all the stuff when we had sex it was like boom and then i was like well i've got this is like when we first i mean

maybe a few months in, because I had no one to use it with at the time. I'm not know, I could always find some, but whatever. I was in some of my, I was like, I'm sure you really wanted to use it. It wasn't so hard. There'd be a line of ball in here.

I was like, you are the man for this, and then he just was like, he's obsessed with it. Like every time I'm like, I just left him in my bathroom or his house, like he's got it, and it really like, I never felt it. He last way longer to keep someone's become like, dependent on it, I think it's fine. We're really good friends, and we're not dating anymore, but he's like, he's got it and it really, I never felt it. He last way longer to keep someone's become dependent on it. I think it's part, we're really good friends

and we're not dating anymore, but he's like, he's never felt anything like any could last so much longer. Like, it was never an issue. It never happened again. It never came too quickly again. Yeah, the product, the efficacy of it is insane. I mean, it really works. We have people that order every single month,

every month in a large bottle, and that my hat's off to them, because that's somebody that's very active. Quite a few people like that. But I just, you know, I'm really thrilled by the fact that the efficacy is there, and it's a problem that there is no other solution for. But this is a crazy part. We sold over 200,000 bottles at a time. Since we really started marketing the product,

we've had zero calls to our contraindication lines. I can't believe no one's ever called and said I had a problem or anything. No, I mean, I've never heard of it, but that's... If you're allergic to light-a-cane, you'll have some itching. Okay. But it goes right away.

And if there's no toxicity, it's very safe. I mean, nothing works for absolutely everybody. There's nothing in the world that works absolutely everywhere. But the success rate of people who try the product is really, really high. And we have testimonies, which I've shared. Yeah, no, I get the testimony too. Yeah. There's, I mean, just like when I talked about before, when you talked about the guy with the date rate, polish, you know, the nail stuff that, you know, I really related to that because obviously, it's an entrepreneur. You love the idea that it's going to be

something good for your shareholders and make money. But when you keep women from being date raped and drugged, I mean, my God, I'll go to that. When you give a gentleman a self-esteem back. When you save a relationship, when we've had people that actually said, I was near suicide. I just felt like I couldn't have,

and I'm gonna see any more, it's ready to, you know, and then they go I'm feel like I'm a new person. I mean, there's something about that. It's just it gets you up in the morning and when you work Those long hours and you know, you go through the frustrations of running any business Those are the things that really pull you through and you go, you know, this makes a difference for people Right. And then you also have a personal connection with that Ron. I mean the whole. Yeah, I mean, you know, people, I'm not sure if they were aware of this, but I don't think so. Ron was murdered, my partner, who developed the product, who was my very good friend, who was one of the most wonderful human beings I've ever met in my entire life, a year and a half ago, exactly a year and a half ago was murdered, and it was mistaken identity. Somebody who had done...

In the hospital, right? Yeah, right, in his office. He was affiliated with Hogue Hospital. He ran Orange Coast Erology for Erologist a bunch of nurses and there was a gentleman who had a prostate surgery 23 years ago in the VA hospital. Decided he was going to kill the guy that did a surgery and he was unhappy with the

result. Don't ask me why it took him 23 years to figure out he was unhappy but he went back. It was so long ago. It wasn't online. He went to the VA. It was on microfiche of all things. It didn't have the records anymore and he saw the guy and figure out he was unhappy. But he went back, it was so long ago, it wasn't online, he went to the VA, it was on microfiche of all things, it didn't have the records anymore, and he saw the guy that did it, and it was a name similar to Ron's.

And so he went back and Google searched and found Ron Gilbert, and I think the guy's name was Ron Gellhardt or something like that. So he just had to kill him, didn't realize, so after he made an appointment, Ron walked in to see supposedly a new patient, he was lying in a waiting in a shooting position and shot Ron eight times through the heart in the doorway. He never even made it into the room. And you can't have a more senseless tragedy

than that. Not that even the guy that did a surgery deserves to die, something. I mean, that's insane. No, but I know, Ron was your best friend. I mean, the fact that it wasn't the right guy. He wasn't even the guy that did the surgery and you know we as society, I tell you to be well-time when someone dies, we tend to make more out of them in death than they were in life. It's just how people are. Oh he's the greatest kind of word to go and wait, so I knew that guy. You didn't have to do that. Ron was a guy who lived the right way. He really and truly he was a great father, a great husband, a great doctor and you know

we used to get into these disputes once and I go you do realize we're running a business here. You know, I was like, well, I'm just giving it away. This guy needs it. I go, well, wasn't he by it? You know, I mean, like, I'm the CEO of the company. I'm going more, and he was just a healer. He was a guy who got into medicine for a rubbery. We came up with this because he saw that he had all the patients that were coming to him as a neurologist because that's why I was so interested too with you because I was like, I get these emails and I'm like, I know, and I've been through with some of our team at here as we tried everything. Nothing works. so that's why I think this is- When you talk to your neurologist, they will tell you, if someone comes in with ED, I have

my aggra, I see all of this, I have with Vietra, someone comes in with prostate problems, I got this, I got that, someone comes with incontinence, I got four or five options, I got always me two products, someone comes to me with PE, I have nothing, and they'll tell you that's my most frustrating patient, because they come back all the time,, I have nothing. And they'll tell you that's my most frustrating patient because they come back all the time and I have to tell them we still have nothing and I can see the angst and the frustration and we have nothing for them. And so this was it's pure genius. Yeah it is. It is. Well thank you because you've helped a lot of my a lot of my people. So another question for you though, is it safe for oral sex? Yes it is. I do tell people this if you're

going to be receiving as a guy oral sex, then I would suggest weight the 8 to 10 minutes with a damp washcloth, just wipe yourself off. But in case there's any residual, it really is not harmful. A very similar formulation to this, believe it or not, that preceded promescent was developed for oral gum surgery. Before they put the deep needles in, you know, when you get like, you know, root canals and stuff, the stuff that they spray and rub into your gums is a very similar formulation.

It's light-acane, with a eutectic formula just like promessant. It's that safe. But I tell people that in case there's a residual taste, you know, it might freak your partner out. Right, that kind of... It's a let him know. It's safe, it's not gonna do any harm.

But just in case he's like, wait a second, because it does have a kind of coconut kind of a thing a lot of now it's safe it's not going to do any harm right but just in case she's like wait a second because it does have a kind of coconut right right kind of a thing and she goes what do you don't know I'm down there I mean I don't mind it yeah I don't do it anyway yeah okay we're gonna be back as an emails from the peeps yeah okay so this is um any mouth on my list there's in fact I love hearing from everybody so thank you for emailing me at feedback at sexwithenley.com It's about dating Virgin. Emily, I recently, recently I've been dating a good college friend of mine. The only thing that we've done is just making out nothing serious. She's the Virgin and I'm not, but I know from experience that I suck at sex.

Recently, I purchased Down Under Convert, which is if I give you my Down Under Con, I brought them for you. Okay. Okay. And promess it. So I smell and perform longer in bed. My question to you is this, if things start to progress, how can I make sure her first time is good? I think a massage candle would work, as that would set the mood. Also, I'm totally down on going down on her. I just want to know so that her first time is pleasurable,

and if she wants to wait until, wait, I respect that decision from Michael. So good for you for becoming prepared with all these things. But I would say first time, I a requirement women need time to warm up So make it about her pleasure. You could give her a massage using like one of my massage candles But it's about her pleasure and make sure that you check in with her because she probably is gonna be very nervous And you don't want to rush it You want to get her so turned on to the point where she's actually begging you to put it in and that you're not forcing it

So you sound like a really mindful guy Michael like, like I like that you're even just, you know, emailing an ask a man with a plan. That's for sure. I put a lot of thought into this. I thought he bought the, oh, I don't know that I have it in there. I mean, whatever you mean. It's so funny. And I was to use a condom.

Yeah. Hope you know that you use a condom. Any more tests for first time, so can you remember? Would your son ever ask you for advice about sex? Ah, no. And it's been a while since I dated a writer being 57 years old. Exactly. But, you know, to me, I didn't realize until I took this company because having been

another industry and even, you know, dealing with people like you and hearing these stories, there's so much anxiety. I know. I mean, here's a guy in a relationship with a woman, he's like freaking out. And I always laugh and I know I'm bad. I know I suck in bad. Great, I know, right i know it makes me right how do you know how do you know i mean college right well i think it's because maybe he came to quickly because he bought the promessor me for some of the sex and he thinks that

he's bad and bad it doesn't mean that he's a bad and bad and he communicates with her and relax and have it as a project together instead he's trying to create this scenario like he's riding it on a white horse horse and you know and he's like gonna wrestle this damsel on this gas or you can always look at this way she's not gonna know anything to compare it to she's heard him get that's true she's gonna think she's a bad guy how's that and she could say you're the best I've ever had because the only one exactly but my I think you're good don't stress about it too much yeah relax relax and have a good time have a good time build the relationship with her

and this has always been my experience and the emissive will take care of Yeah, relax. Relax and have a good time. Relax. Have a good time. Build the relationship with her. And this has always been my experience. And the embassy will take care of itself. Because communicate. Work it together. Don't think you're often a laboratory, you know, with some white coat and, you know, some, you know, some, you know, some, you know, some, you know, some, you know, some lecture.

So many guys that, that's the thing about the PE or ED or anything that it is guys don't perform all sex or women don't want to talk about it. Communicate with your partner about what is going on in the Moment she knows that you can't stay harder came too quickly. We all saw it happens But guys have so much shame they don't even talk to that's what's so interesting about Ron because He created because his patients were coming to him But there's so many guys that that right into my show were calling to love line and it's like if you talk to your doctor And they they've so much fear about talking to anyone about they don't want to be a doctor they were talking

they think this is go away we have guys that order the product and go can it be held at FedEx so I can go pick it up I don't want to deliver in case my roommate or my kid you know I mean it's like relax yeah we want exactly I mean it's and we have guys that'll say I want to make sure my partner has no idea I'm using it because they want this aura of I'm Superman, you know, that, and I mean, it's crazy. I know. I know people like that they do. And you know, women, we appreciate a guy who can communicate it. Like, it made me so much more with this guy. He was very sensitive and we did it first. We, you know, play and talk about the first

few months. But then we talked about it. And I was like, anyway, then we like bought books and read them like, did you do your exercises? We can do them together. You know, I was really like trying to take exercises. The K-gal exercises we can do them together you know I was really like trying to The K-Gl-Exercises to the whole thing. The K-Gl-Exercises yeah I mean it can work with you so you got to be consistent and that wasn't even working for them. It's if it was a physiological issue it's not K-Gl-Exercising I'm doing it. I know I know okay so they got to buy from us anyway we're talking about from us okay here's time for another email okay uh dear Emily I listen to your show all the time

you're constantly talking about how you should get high quality loom instead of KY or AstroGlide. But I don't know what looms to recommend. I don't know what looms you recommend. Can you tell me if you go and try? I want to up or loom selection. Thanks, Tate. Tate, that's a great question. It is true.

I mean, yes, you can go to drugstore and buy like KY or whatever. But I don't recommend it because a lot of times they can have an infection, you know, an ingredient center that can infect a woman and just want to get something that's, like, that's really safe. I would say water-based and the ones that I love, I love liquid silk. I like, uh, liquid and I can I say, Pajur P-J-U-R. Those are my favorite water-based ones, liquid silk, Pajur and liquid and you can get those all at, um, on my website, click on sectionalme.com, and slickwood. And you can get those all on my website.

Click on sexualandme.com, the Good Bibes Banner. And you can go there and see those. Those are my favorite high quality ones. Now, if you want a silicone lube, think about silicone lube is that they do break down condoms and they don't work well with sex toys. But I'm obsessed with uber lube right now. I don't know if you've tried uber lube.

It's freaking amazing. So if you guys are if you're in a committed and agamist relationship and you're not using condoms um... i would try it will do it's i can't want to both i tried the water based like the liquid silk and then try the uber loop because it rock in world last rubber it's great um... okay so that we're interested in using that that that that we're done we got to go i'm so sad, Jeff.

That went fast. That wasn't I know. I'm so glad you're here. It's great to see you. It's always been for all the information. Everyone can check out Jeff and all this stuff happening at promessant.com. And thanks everyone for listening.

Check me out on Facebook and Twitter and Instagram, section at the Emily. I just, I don't ask you for much, but if you just right now, put your phone and follow me in all those places, I would be so happy. Thanks everyone, and thanks Anderson. Thank you, kid. Love you being here.

Thanks everyone for listening to Sex with Emily, was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemlee.com. Okay, so Anderson, I'm getting a new car and in the past I have to tell you that I got my last car. I was actually dating this guy. I didn't like him very much, but I kept sleeping with him just so he would help me buy the car. No, I needed a new car and I'm not great at car shopping.

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No, he got me a really bad deal. You thought it was a good deal I thought it was a good deal everyone's a good deal at one point or another when the guy's going back And he's like, oh, I talked to my manager and see if that's doable and then they come back like it's doable But you have no idea you know, and then you're going crazy and you're talking to million places So true car.com is changing car buying forever And I'm using it to get my new car right now true car users receive Negotiation free guaranteed savings some features are not available in all states in the first three months this year over 126,000 cars were sold by the true car certified dealer network Anderson. It's so freaking easy

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