Sex With Emily - The Pleasure Gap with Our CEO Amy Friedlander

Episode Date: September 10, 2024

Hey, pleasure seekers! I'm super excited about today's episode. I always encourage you to discuss sex with your friends, so I've invited Amy Friedlander, my CEO and brilliant friend, to join this conversation. We're both fed up with the pleasure gap, a topic The New York Times highlighted in a recent article, "The Orgasm Gap Isn’t Going Away for Straight Women." Today, Amy and I are actively seeking ways to bridge this gap. We're sharing our sexual histories, addressing the pitfalls of faking orgasms, and talking about negative sex-pectations set by porn and extreme media portrayals. We're talking about methods to prioritize pleasure and close the orgasm gap. Tune in to be part of this change and close the gap with us! You deserve a richer, more fulfilling sex life. We're sharing our sexual histories, addressing the pitfalls of faking orgasms, and talking about negative sex-pectations set by porn and extreme media portrayals. Together, we're talking about methods to prioritize pleasure and close the orgasm gap. Tune in to be part of this change and close the gap with us! You deserve a richer, more fulfilling sex life. In this episode, you'll learn: Why the Orgasm Gap Persists: We'll unpack how inadequate sex education continues to widen this divide. The Dangers of Faking It: Discover why being authentic in expressing your sexual needs is essential for true pleasure. The Role of Media: We'll debunk harmful myths and foster a healthier dialogue around sex. Also, don't miss our discussions on whether sleeping apart can enhance your sex life and how Kegel trainers can lead to more intense orgasms. Tune into these articles: Does Sleeping Apart Help Your Sex Life? Kegel Trainers for Bigger, Badder Orgasms   Practice love every day with Paired, the #1 app for couples. Download the app at https://www.paired.com/SWE 💖 SMARTSX ANNOUNCEMENT 💖 Today, September 10th, 2024, we're thrilled to launch SmartSx, our membership platform where pleasure meets education. Join our community to transform your intimate life, whether you're deepening connections or exploring new kinks. SmartSx is your gateway to all things sexy and insightful. Embrace your pleasure potential with an open heart and mind. As a member, you'll embark on a journey to discover your unique desire style and boost your Sex IQ. You’ll also gain tools for a healthier sex life through engaging discussions, expert guests, and direct interactions with me. Each month will feature themes based on my 12 Universal Truths About Sex and Pleasure, starting with 'Sexual Connection is a Skill Set.' CLICK HERE TO JOIN

You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So excited for today's episode. I'm talking to my friend, Amy Friedlander. She's also a powerhouse. She's the interim CEO of Sex with Emily and I've known her since my college days. She's a badass lawyer, strategic genius behind top tier companies like Liquid Death and Uber. But most importantly, I am always telling you, encouraging you to have conversations

with your friends about sex, and this is how it's done. We do that today. We get into some things, a lot of things in this episode, but really I'm angry. I'm kind of angry about something and I wanted Amy to be here to talk to me about it. So the New York Times came out with an article a few weeks ago, the orgasm gap isn't going away for straight women. Duh. We've known this, right? I've known this. We've been talking about the fact that women are not having orgasms at the same rate as men, but now it's widening. Which is so frustrating. Like what? What are we gonna do about this?

You know, I didn't need this article to tell me what you guys have been telling me for a long time, but why is the gap not going anywhere and what can we do about it? Well, we're gonna get the bottom of it in today's episode. We delve into all things pleasure gap and we also share the stories of my first time and Amy's first time having sex, the dangers of faking an orgasm, the normalization of extreme sex in the media. Like what gives? Like do you know that when we see all these extreme images it's really impacting everyone really but young people they're getting choked at like age of 12. Like what is going on? There's also some good tips in this

episode that you are going to love. Also, I'm bearing the lead because today I launched my new membership. Smart SX is the membership and the community that you've been looking for. You're listening to this episode, you're listening to this podcast, probably because you want to have better sex and relationships and maybe you listen, listen, listen, but this is time now to take action. By taking this action, committing to the community, you will have a like-minded group of people who are there to support you on your better sex journey. And I will be there, we'll be working together, I'll be coaching you, and I'm just freaking so excited that this launched today. So, I hope you're joining me. You can check that

out at sexwithemily.com slash membership. Please rate and review Sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show. It helps get the show out to more people and it just takes you a few seconds to do it. You can just do it right now. Look at your phone, look at your app that you're listening to this on and review us.

We so appreciate it. You can also find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter, Or X and Facebook, all the places. It's all at Sex with Emily. And check out my new articles, Does Sleeping Apart Help Your Sex Life? And Kegel Trainers for Bigger, Badder Orgasms are both up on sexwithemily.com.

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We have so much to discuss and this is the perfect episode for you to have your sexual demily debut. Oh, it's very exciting. A few weeks ago, The New York Times came out with this article entitled, The Orgasm Gap Isn't Going Away for Straight Women. And well, this is no shock. I was like, OK, thank you. I'm glad to know this, everyone.

Welcome to the no one's having pleasure party. But the thing is is that it's frustrating and it actually makes me angry. It's really hard to look at these kind of stats about women still not having pleasure, men still not having this information or any gender having any information. It's like, there's a lot of reasons why this exists.

Pleasure gap is happening because they lack of sex education. We don't have comprehensive sex education. We don't feel comfortable talking about sex. There's still so much shame and taboo. And I'm just angry and pissed because we know we're heading into the 20th year, which is we're working together to make an incredible year and we're really changing some things up here,

but like this just pissed me off and also gives me a sense of urgency. Yeah, well, it has to be urgent. I mean, it's one of the reasons, obviously, we've been friends for a long time and now starting to work together on this stuff. And I would say for me, it's so, like I have girls, it's even for myself, for them, and for the guys,

it doesn't matter. Like the fact that we cannot talk about sex, that it is such a taboo topic, like still, you would think at this point in time, we would be in a better place and able to talk about things. And people don't. And so, like I'm so, you know, like the article's a little sad and depressing,

and we can talk about why and like, what are things that people can actually do to change that. But bottom line is first, you have to actually be able to talk about it. Because I think this is, you know, like it's sad that it still exists But I'm just so glad and I like you know the fact that working with you and your whole goal is just normalize the conversation Which is amazing. So all right, so we're still not talking about it. So that's part of the problem that we're not talking about sex

We still feel shame around sex by should first decide to find the pleasure gap of what exactly I'm talking about So the pleasure gap if you haven't heard gap of what exactly I'm talking about. So the pleasure gap, if you haven't heard, bottom line, net-net, men are going to orgasm most of the time that they have sex and women are not. That is the gap. And if you want to go a little bit deeper, is that this article talks about measures sex through intercourse and penetration. So I've been saying a million times for years, only 30% maybe of women are gonna orgasm from penetrative sex. Mostly they're not, but nobody knows. Amy, I've been wanting to buy a billboard.

Like that sounds like, did you know that women can orgasm through penetration? But in this study, that is how they measure it. And if you want the specific stats, I can tell you they talk to 24,000 singles, ages 18 to 100, men at orgasms at an array of 70 to 85 percent. Women had lower rates, 46 to 58 percent, which I know is not that 30 percent that I just

said, but I just find that that's actually really friggin high. So that's confusing to me because that's actually not the stat. Yeah. I mean, I know I've seen from the stuff that we've been doing, the differences in like, basically what it looked like it was like men were orgasm twice as much as women. Yes, exactly. Or women do it half as much. Women are not orgasming. And then what the article goes on to explain is that,

you know, it's happening because, yeah, we don't have sex education, we don't feel comfortable talking about it. And that women really just, they're kinda used to it. They're kinda like, yeah, I'm not having pleasure. I never did have pleasure. I didn't have an orgasm, and now I'm just gonna kind of suddenly suffer through it, or I'm just gonna stop having sex altogether, or I might even fake orgasms,

because I'm not having pleasure. And so I just feel that, you know, that the gap, the gap is a problem. So also to say more about it, this women and heterosexual relationship experience fewer orgasms than men across all ages. So the gap isn't even closing with age. And then we see in society

that we just do value men's pleasure over women. And not in a, like, again, this is, we just don't have the information. Men don't really know this, and women don't really know it either, but the penis has such great PR. Like, the penis is like, we know what the penis needs. The penis needs to penetrate.

The penis needs to get off. I mean, that's what we've known, right? Didn't you like learn that in like sex ed? You're like, how can I be, how can I make them orgasm more? Like did you, not in sex ed. Sorry, I didn't learn shit in sex ed. Yeah, maybe not in sex ed.

No, but I think it was all like, I mean, at least from the earliest of like, I think about like in high school where it was like, I won't like, Kim Becker taught me how to give a blow job. Right? And it was like, and the whole point was like, how to get him off, where the idea that you would ever figure out

or someone would talk about the idea of how we would get ourselves off, like that just didn't, that was never factored in. Exactly, there was no part of the conversation that was, you know, let me figure out how I could have an orgasm or let me masturbate. I didn't even know about masturbation until like halfway through college.

It didn't even occur to me to masturbate. I really, I was talking to some friends and I said, I've never, what's the big deal with sex? It seems so like my boyfriend comes in, he pounds away at me like a jackhammer. And I love the closeness and the intimacy, but nothing feels great. And they're like, well, have you had an orgasm?

And I was like, I didn't even know what they were talking about. Like, have you masturbated? No. So that's when I first realized that I had to start masturbating, but I didn't really know, I didn't really know what to do. But no one ever, like no one had ever

cared or asked me about it. No boyfriends were like, let me, did you have a good time? And I think that this is also was part of the gap is that men just assume that their female partners are having orgasms all the time. Now, I also thought, again, which is why I'm angry and frustrated that after 20 years of doing this, that this would be different. But then we talked to Isabella and our teams using her 20s and she said she just talked

to a straight guy who's like, oh, in his 40s, I think, and he's like, every woman I'm with has an orgasm. And every time I'm with has an orgasm. And every time I guys has had an orgasm, and every time I see it, I do that too. I'm like, oh, yeah, you think they have. But the stats show a different story. Yeah, no, they totally do. They don't, and so this is just why we really need to

understand that our pleasure is also important, but this is not, again, not bashing the men. We have to figure out our own bodies and be able to communicate about it and know what feels good, which, again, no one taught us that, but I thought it'd be better now and no one's teaching anybody. No one's teaching young people,

and we've just all been silently suffering through bad sex. So now there's a gap. That's why I named it. Why is it that we think that these men believe that women are still orgasming every single time? How do they not get the memo? Why do you think this is still happening? Well, I mean, we can talk about it,

but I think a lot of it is, I think there's a couple things, right? Where it's like, A, they're not asking, B, if women are faking, right? I mean, that is probably the absolute worst possible thing that we could do, right? It's like, you're doing a great job, you're doing a great job, and if someone's faking it,

then they're killing it, you know what I mean? I'm sure that guy thinks, right? I'm amazing. Yeah, great silver of the world, probably, because every woman gets up. I think it doesn't even really occur to them to think about it, so they just love for the world. Yeah, exactly. Probably, because every woman gets up there. I think it doesn't even like, really even like occur to them to think about it. And so they just make the assumption and women aren't like,

hey, by the way, this is what I want, this is what I need. And this is what we find that women of all ages are not standing up for the plan. When did you start standing up? Like talk to me a little bit. Okay, I'll tell you about this. So I first had sex when I was 17 on a waterbed,

my boyfriend's waterbed. We dated for a year, which I thought was you about this. So I first had sex when I was 17 on a waterbed, my boyfriend's waterbed. We dated for a year, which I thought was important to wait. And then we had sex. It was uneventful, not that exciting. Shirley pounded away, like used to condom. I remember cause he less the condom and it was his brother's waterbed.

And then the brother found the condom and comes running downstairs. And it was so embarrassing. I'm just remembering this right now. That's right now. Oh God, that was horrible. So then I went into college, had a bunch of sex, not a bunch, I had a boyfriend every single, doesn't matter, I had sex. And there was no orgasms, there was no pleasure.

And honestly, Amy, if you want me to answer the truth, I didn't start advocating for what I wanted until I started this job until my 30s. I didn't, because I, it was really like the day I started, when I started gathering all the information and studying human sexuality, I thought I can never go back. I will never, I'm like, no one fake O, I will never fake an orgasm again. Like put that on the ballot and you can't go back. Like once I learned that actually the truth is once we educate them,

guys want to know what makes them. They're like, that actually the truth is once we educate them, guys wanna know what makes them. They're like, God, I've been like flailing around in the dark trying to please you and figure it out. I have no idea, they're psyched, but there's a permissioning that has to go into too for women being like letting out them know that once you figure it out and then you get to tell a partner or even just say, I'm on a learning path,

you wanna help me figure it out, they you get to a partner or even just say, I'm on a learning path, you wanna help me figure it out, they're gonna be really excited about it. So yeah, it wasn't until then, until my relationships then where I thought, okay, I could never go back. And then I still remember it, like saying to this partner, like I really like oral sex. Maybe I haven't made that clear to you, although I'm like, I think he listens to the show

and I'm always like, I used to talk about oral sex a lot. I used to, again, you guys, 20 years, I used to talk about how much I loved oral sex, like ad nauseam, like people would email me, like, oh, I guess, cause you love oral sex. But I was like, yes, that is where I'm gonna have an orgasm. It's a requirement. You have to want to go down to me.

But this was early on, just maybe a year or two into the show and I thought he must know this. So he did it. Oh, you know what you do? He'd go down and he'd do like and he'd be like the one lick wonder. You know those guys are like, I'm just gonna lick it to make sure it's wet enough for me to stick my dick in.

Because that's oral sex. And I was like, you could have gotten me a glass of water in that time, gone to the kitchen, come back, and that would have been more effective than the lick. So I said to him, we had been dating for a while, and I said to him at dinner one night, I just said, you know, I'm just curious, you know, you know that oral sex is like a really important part

of my, like what I love. I know you love when I go down on you, and your orgasm, my blow jobs are great. He says, I'm just curious about like, what it is about oral sex that you're, I have a few questions for you. Cause I know, you know that I like it. He's like, yeah.

I said, well, one is it that you're maybe not totally sure like that I like it and when I like it. He's like, I don't know. And I said, well, or is it that you aren't sure what exactly I like it, I can show you. Or is it that you aren't sure what exactly I like and I can show you? Or is it not your thing? And he was like, leans back and he's like, it's just not my thing.

And I said, and I'm thinking to myself, well, you're not my thing. Well, this may not be my thing, exactly. Now, I did write about this in my book. And I have to say that in reading that, in retrospect, I was like, oh, the truth is in modern day, I was there, done. I was like, okay, well, this is my relationship. I wanna explain to everybody,

there was a lot of other things happening in a relationship that were not ideal. He wasn't always honest, he wasn't a great lover, but he also wasn't a great listener. There was a lot of things. It wasn't just because of that. And if that had happened today, I would probably go a little bit deeper.

I'd be like, okay, so it's not your thing. Tell me why. Because this is not to bash, but maybe it wasn't his thing because he had a really bad experience once going down on a woman. Maybe the last three women he was with were like, no, like I don't, I don't want to do it. I don't like it. Or maybe he had someone like whatever, whatever kind of bad experience, maybe someone didn't taste great or something happened and he has like post-traumatic oral sex thing. I give a lot of compassion to it, but I would have gone deeper, like, tell me more about that, rather than be like,

I can't believe, in my mind I was enraged, but now I would go a little bit deeper and ask the questions because a lot of times we have these hard no one things or things we don't really like with sex, but it's because we have like a one time bad experience and that informs the rest of our life. So that was my experience with him and that was one of the first times I really spoke up. But ever since then, I just know now that it's not going to probably happen through penetration

unless I have a lot of oral sex, a lot of fingers, a lot of toys, and I just make that known. And everyone's been okay with it because they see how much pleasure I can have and what I know about myself. So when was the first time you remember asking for what you wanted? Well it's funny because I mean I didn't I waited to have sex like same thing like I thought it was I mean I was like my mom was always like be in love that's you know and I was like okay and I almost had sex in high school with my husband because I wasn't love with him but timing wasn't right so I waited so it was my boyfriend in college, was the first time, and I remember being so like,

okay, this is the weekend, and this is when it's gonna happen, you know? It was March 25th, like I really remember the date. And so we ended up, and he was an amazing guy, and like wanted that, and I remember the first time, and we did, and then he actually played professional tennis, and it was like he had to go to sleep and practice the next day and he was like, I'm really tired.

And we had sex. And I just remember actually calling the roommates that you know and being like, wait, that was it? You know, I was like. And he's going to sleep? And he was going to bed. And I'm like totally in the other room. Like I just did it for the first time.

And we just went to bed. And so the first time was not, was, you know, sorry. And it was a little underwhelming. But then it was great. But then honestly, after that, like time was not, was, you know, sorry, it was a little underwhelming, but then it was great. But then honestly after that, like, there was no, like, there was no question of sort of prioritizing. We figured out how to come together. And like, we actually had really great sex.

And I was thinking about it in that context, like, I've never faked an orgasm. Ever. Like, ever in my life. Like, and because it happens or it doesn't happen, you know what I mean? And so, but I've never actually done that. And so it's an interesting thing of, like, and because it happens or it doesn't happen. You know what I mean? And so, but I've never actually done that. And so it's an interesting thing of thinking like,

because for that same reason, it's like, you're telling someone you're doing a great job, but they're not doing a great job. I don't want to say that. And then they think like every other girl in the world, it must be a great job. Yeah, I'm crushing the sex thing and they're not. So you were able to figure out how to have an orgasm during.

Yes, actually we were able to figure it out actually how to have an orgasm during sex. And it's actually changed over time. and like has to be super specific and I'm the same like oral sex is way better from that perspective but the other challenge with it which I think is maybe part of also the gap is like just the amount of time that it takes. So I don't know I feel like I looked at like a stat or something and said well you said it what's the average between men and women? Average, so man orgasms between eight and 10 minutes and women between 20 and 40 minutes.

And that's not even during penetration. That's why the article's a little bit ambiguous, but it's through anything. But even oral sex can take 20, 40 minutes. And I remember the reason why I faked it. First off, I didn't, I felt, I remember someone in college having sex and I'd look over at the clock and you rememberaked it, first off, I didn't, I felt, I remember someone in college having sex and I'd look over at the clock

and you remember those blinking, those clocks, the red lights everyone had? And I can still remember the clock being like 636, 638, 640, time is going fast. It's not happening. It's exciting. And then I think, and this is what happens. So many of us are in our heads during sex

and we're worried about it. So that is a big part of the gap And this is what happens. So many of us are in our heads during sex and we're worried about it. So that is a big part of the gap is that we've got this time difference. And so that's why I also don't love when people talk about foreplay, which everyone does, being a separate part of sex, because foreplay of sex,

and we all, we just gotta be, sex is defined as penetration. But the foreplay part could be everything. Like that could be the magic. Like even in same sex relationships, they're talking about lesbian women do orgasm a lot and gay men orgasm a lot in their relationships, but it's because we know what to do.

So, and I think for, and I know for many women, the orgasm is going to happen from a finger's mouth, toys, not really a penis. And if it does happen through penetrative sex, it's usually because we've figured out how to grind our clitoris on our partner so we can orgasm. It's not, again, all the misinformation. It's just not like a particular spot.

And it helps to have a clitoral orgasm first. But this is all stuff that we, you know, how would we know about any of this stuff when we don't teach it, we're not. So for the New York Times, they have this pleasure gap and scream out loud and then we still don't have comprehensive sex education. We see that it's still shameful and hard.

We still have people walking around saying that everyone's having an orgasm or clearly women not having a lot of pleasure at all. Like that's why they're probably like, oh, I can take it or leave it. I'm not even gonna try to make it happen because it just hasn't been working for me and it hasn't been pleasurable.

Right, right. We went from hot girl summer to like celibate summer. Yeah, exactly, right? Really, right? Last year it was like hot girl summer and now it's like, nah, I'm good. I think that women are realizing like, I don't know, I'm going out and I'm having sex.

It's really not that great. There's a lot of drama that comes with the texting and the meeting up and the dating apps and all that stuff. And it's like exhausting. And then we do it and then I got to worry if they're gonna call or if it even felt good. And so they're taking time for themselves to figure out themselves and what they want.

However, my problem with the celibacy conversation is that, which I love, that Today Show had me on to talk about celibacy. And what I couldn't say was that if you're going to take the time to work on yourself, work on your career, go back to therapy, build a business, whatever women are doing now when they're taking this break, that's a great time to figure out your body and what makes you feel good and like how you orgasm. And because that's where I first figured it out was through my own time when I started the show.

I'd get all these sex toys delivered to me, which has not really changed that much, I suppose. But I got to try them out. And I used to be so excited about each new toy. And I was like, figure it out, all the different ways I could orgasm. So I was, that's what I got. But I needed that.

And that's also what the article says is that once women figure it out, how to have more pleasure, that gives them more confidence. And then they can teach that to a partner. Okay, so I have to just like, I appreciate that on the toys and it's, well, there's two parts of it. Cause one there's sort of, I think like, we can talk about like guys a lot. I think I have found a lot of guys feel like,

they're not doing their job if you're using a toy and it becomes like they're being replaced or it's something that's not good. Do you have you seen that? Yes, that's so it is. It's like they always think that, yeah, the toy is gonna replace them or that the toy is gonna be better than them.

And they also think that the toy, I believe that most men still think that toys look like a huge penis that's like bigger, that we're gonna be like, look at my toy. And it's gonna be like a 20 inch phallic object. Excuse me while I whip this out. Exactly, and it's gonna like shame them. I believe that's what they think

because when I have shown it to them, I'm like, this is what it is, they're like, oh, that's it. Like I can show you, I love the Lalo product. I know I've given you one toy before. I know, I know, well, so I know, because I'm not, generally speaking, toys have not been a thing.

Most of them now, maybe I haven't tried enough, but like generally don't work for me, you know? And so it's been less about like, you know, oh, you know, having, I mean, sometimes it's like someone not necessarily wanting it, but also it's just been like, you know, it doesn't necessarily do it for me. Well, I think, yeah, well, I think it could. I think we also buy toys and we don't really know how to use them.

That's true. And so, yeah, this whole thing that toys are still shameful, again, I hear it less, but again, I don't want to say I hear it less from my listeners, but that doesn't mean that the rest of the world isn't still walking around having a lot of shame from toys. Or I meet people and they're like, oh, we don't need that or we don't need to do it. And it's like, yes, that's also one of the things for you where like you've obviously got your e-commerce stuff where I've come in and started helping

and working on that stuff. And it's fascinating to me because it's like, like there are all of these toys and things and it's like, how are you supposed to know? Like how do you know a the difference on what they are, what they do, how they work, and it's like, I know obviously we're working on like even getting more information and being more descriptive about it. So it's like, and having someone that's like, if you want this, then you know this,

to be more specific about it. But like, you just look at all these things and you're like, they're all different shapes and different things, like I have no idea what to do. I know I do, like I give up. How do I know what to do, right? Yeah, and I don't want people to, I was gonna go out and buy a sex toy that they don't, you know, that they don't like.

And everyone's body is different. So yeah, that's why this, that's why it's good to have a store so we can really explain to people specifically that this is what you need. You don't need like so many. In fact, that's also another mission is to realize that we, we all have nerve endings on our body that feel incredible when we stimulate them. Men, women, whenever you're gender, you've got these erogenous zones. So just use a toy, use something that makes you feel good. What kind of toys haven't worked for you in the past?

Oh God, so like the regular, what do they look like, the little egg things? Like things that, the only thing that has ever worked for me was something that had like a, like kind of like ridges, you know what I mean? It was like a little bit something that was like slightly up and down so to speak. But I've never tried the other, like the suction thing. I've also never tried one.

So at some point I'll have to do that. I love this. I love this Amy. So there's this suction toy. This is by Lalo. Okay. Okay, I'm so excited. She's running.

You've heard about all the suction stuff. And it sounds to me that you liked a toy that was, had a little bit up and down. Yeah, this, I'm so excited. She's running. You've heard about all the suction stuff. And it sounds to me, if you liked a toy that had a little bit up and down, that that means that you would like this clitoral stimulation. This is the Sela Cruz. This is about one of their best sellers. Okay. Oh my God, it's so cute.

I like sweating. So first off, yay. So first off, this is it. First off, does this what you think? Does this look like a big freaking penis? No. You can actually just stick a rosebud in there and it's like a flower.

Exactly, it's a flower. So you do stick the rosebud, your own rosebud in there. You could, you're right. It could be a vase. Don't you ever think it's a little snail? No. However, the magic comes here. So this is the suction motion.

It goes over your clitoris and, one of the things, I know I did it, but there's just this little vibrating. So why this works is because we have so many, again, clitoris has 12,000 nerve endings. And yeah, and this, what I love about this is like a great beginner toy because it has a lot of different settings on it.

You can start at a lower setting. But this also just like sucks in. It's an indirect pleasure stimulation, but it also feels great on nipples. It feels great on the shaft of a penis. So this could be, and you just like, touch your partner and what I do with partners, I'll be like, I want you to feel this new toy I got.

And then I have them like put their hand out or their arm and I'm like, and I just feel it. And they're like, bring that every time. And then I show them what it does for me. So I want you to try to- Please bring that every time. Exactly, they do. I always like pack my to-go bag, you know?

But this one is just, you know, it's silicone, it's body safe. Okay, right. We try this. So things, okay. How cute is it though? Here, it's your new friend. I'll give you the charger.

Okay, thanks. I love all of Lalo's stuff. You know that we are big fans of theirs. I know. So just go check it out. If you're into squirting or you're into feeling good, go to leelo.com, that's L-E-L-O.com, and use my code, SEX WITH EMILY, for 25% off.

Leelo.com, code SEX WITH EMILY, for 25% off. Well, speaking of like the pleasure gap and stuff like that, right? Of, you know, and it's so funny, because I'm literally like dying right now, and then I'm like, okay, but I shouldn't, you know what I mean? But like my logical brain is'm like, OK, but I shouldn't. You know what I mean? But my logical brain is like, but why?

Like, I shouldn't be. Right? Because it shouldn't be that big of a deal to have this conversation. And I'm psyched that we're having it. And I'm still like, oh my god, I'm sweating. I know. We share makeup tips or earrings we like.

Why is this the doctor? You gave me the name of your gynecologist. Or your doctor. No, my dentist. Your dentist. Or my ophthalmologist, too. Ophthalmologist. One of them.

I called you for everything. I was like, where's this? Because I moved to this part of town. And you're like, here. Or my ophthalmologist too. I called you for everything. I was like, where's this? Because I moved to this part of town. And you're like, here's my doctor, here's my thing. Why is this there? We know we definitely didn't in college, but now why not? This is what worked for me. And the thing is, the gap is widening too.

We're not really seeking out the information. And also a lot of people don't have the accurate information. I got all the information. So I want to share it far and wide with everybody, which is what we've been doing here for a long time. But we, yeah, that's just like, how do we, I know, but why is there so much shame around it? It just boggles my mind.

Because this is how you narrow the gap. Real quick, if you have that on your clitoris, if you're using that during oral sex, and you can use it whenever, it warms you up. Because the other thing about the gap is if you need time, that closes your gap. That's like, oh, that works. You could use your mouth, you could bring in the toy,

then your mouth again. You get to, it's just another tool in your sexual toolkit that you get to play with. Which is great. And I think maybe even in that way, because so much of sex is sent in like, oh my God, we can't talk about shameful or whatever. And so much, but sex is the most fun.

Like think about like, I mean, it's like, as far as like, there's really nothing, you know, and now it's been fun working with you on like, you know, talk like this is what we're talking about, which is hilarious. And it's like, this is the conversations that we're having. It's like, cause sex is actually really fun. And it's people, it's like one of the, I mean,

I was having, we'd been working on it with some other advisory stuff besides this. And I like had a conversation one day. I was like, I talked about sex, drugs, rock and roll and dogs. I'm like, this is maybe the greatest day of my life. It is the greatest day. Those are the key words.

But it's such a fun topic. It is a really, it is a fun topic. and it's a topic that, that we all need information about, which is what we're, which is what we're, we're realizing right now is that, um, I also want to talk about this 20 years in and what you're really helping me with here is that I'm realized that I, so much of the conversations I've been having are all a lot of them on the podcast, thousands and thousands of them, is just all the information that people have, answering their questions on air or on the mic.

But what I want to do in this next year is really, and this is why I'm so excited that we launched this membership, is create this community so we can have these conversations with people that we feel safe with. That there's no taboo in the community. There's no bad questions. There's no discrimination every age, every gender, because as you know, and I'm gonna be really honest,

I've struggled a lot in the last few years because I feel like I've had all the conversations about sex, I've helped so many people, but yet, but yet, every single day, I'm still getting 15 to 20 DMs, probably more Instagram, they're emailing, they're messaging, and they've got these questions. And a lot of them are like,

how do I get my partner to use a toy with me? Why can't I have an orgasm during penetration? Why is my desire not as interesting? And I can say, well, go listen to this episode and go do this thing. But the thing about sex advice is that everyone has a very personal story leading to that conclusion. So why someone can't have an orgasm

isn't why someone else can have an orgasm. So this community has been this dream for years just to have the place where people can talk about whatever's on their mind and I'm going to help them. I'm going to bring in all my friends, all the experts, everyone I know in this space to help people. But what's so exciting is we all need it, but we all need the information. And I want to remind everyone, my audience is men, women, split.

People don't realize there are men listening to the show. There are all ages, all genders. And where I got to was like, I don't know how to keep having this one way conversation anymore. If you want a show about anal, I've done a show about anal. If you want me to answer a question about masturbation, it's all in there. But where people are getting stuck is they're listening and maybe they took a

note or they tried, it didn't really work, and then they're back to where they were. Or maybe they figured out how to have their orgasm, but now they've got a question about something else because sex is constantly changing. It's just like our health routine. You don't just start doing one exercise and now you're totally in shape. Now you might need to change the food you're eating and add some more steps to your routine or just weights or whatever it is. Sex is like that.

So now you can have an orgasm, but maybe you're feeling lack of desire right now. And then we could talk about maybe it's cause you're taking a medication or you're on the birth control pill. Or for guys, their penises just do things that just pay attention to what they're like. My penis used to always be hard.

And now it's not. And did you also know that the other thing that comes up is now, this didn't happen five years ago, but young men in their 20s, it used to always be men in their 40s or older were like, I have erectile challenges, my penis isn't as hard as it used to be. Or it gets hard, it doesn't stay hard,

but now men in their 20s, same thing. So we've all tried to figure it out, there's been research and studies, is it poor,, it doesn't stay hard. But now men in their 20s, same thing. So we've all tried to figure it out. There's been research and studies. Is it porn? Is it whatever? Turns out there's a lot of reasons, but one of them could be because of all the chemicals in the environment and the loss of testosterone.

Men now born in 1990 and later have less testosterone and that's impacting their actions. So what do they do about that? That's still impacting their ability to have pleasure. And so there's just so many things that are packed into sexual health and wellness and pleasure that the membership will always kind of just, I mean, I hope 5,000 people sign up on the,

like I hope there are 5,000, I'm just gonna put it out there. 5,000 people in this membership, 5,000 people on the membership, on video, it's we're gonna do it and every day I'm gonna do it, we're gonna have these conversations. All this week. And we are all going to crack the code together because the people are, they're helping me.

They're helping, we're in it together. What do you actually need to move the needle to have the best sex of your life to take that next step? And even though you're all different places, like I hope there's 5,000 people, because then we can know by day two what everyone's gonna need and bring in the troops. We may not know by day two. We may not know by tomorrow, but we'll know next.

I like saying that expectation. Okay, got it. We're gonna know. But we're gonna keep knowing, yes. I just think, I guess what I want people to do is to commit to a month. Yeah. Like one month.

Oh yeah. And if you don't feel that there's improvement or your question hasn't been answered or you haven't been able to make some kind of improvement, move something that's changed your perspective on sex, then don't have to hang out with us anymore. Yeah, that's true. But that I don't worry about.

I mean, I'm so excited. I mean, like today's the day and it's like, and all of the lead up and for all of this time that you've been doing these things and learning and the fact of, like you said, you've been putting it out on podcasts and doing this right now, which is like amazing. But the fact that now people can be together

in a community where they can talk about it. Like I sort of laugh in the same as now. I can't believe I'm actually like sitting here talking about this, but like I wouldn't even comment on Instagram. Do you know what I mean? Not, no, no fit. Like it's great and I love everyone that does. But just from a comfort level perspective,

that's just not me. And so now being able to have a place where you can actually, and people can talk, where it's like, I have so many friends who've said, even friends of ours from college that live in different places, they're like, I just don't have anyone to talk about this stuff with. I talk about my kids, we play tennis together, I do all of these things. just don't have anyone to talk about this stuff with. Like I talk about my kids, we do, we play tennis together, you know, I do all of these things,

but like, I don't want to talk about this. And they're not talking to their partners, not talking about anybody. So now like, yay, today is the day, like we get to start having those conversations where people feel like they've got a comfortable, safe place to be, which is super cool. Yeah, I know, I love that.

They have community, they really don't, we forget, because I definitely talk about it with everybody, but yeah, same, most people, it's just that, or maybe they're in a long-term relationship and they feel like, I don't know, it would be a disservice for me to talk about my partner and I don't wanna share it, and then we just, and maybe we try to find information,

maybe they listen to a few podcasts, but I'm just, there's so many goddamn podcasts out there, which I love, but who's got time? If you want your question answered and you wanna have better sex, more pleasure, know how to communicate better, like just cut to the chase, deal with it already. We want it now.

And you also want somewhere that continues to be, you know what I mean, right? Where it's like, like today is the first day of membership forever, you know what I mean? Where it's like, there's always going to be a place that you can come have questions, whether it's just questions answered or be able a place that you can come, have questions, whether it's just questions answered

or be able to talk to people or like, have you ever had the same experience? Like I see it all the time in the same, in podcasts and when people call you or in the Instagram and all of that, where people are like, oh my God, or you see something and you're like, oh, I thought that was just me, you know?

That's it, am I normal? Yeah. Am I okay? Yeah. That's really sort of one of the top, I haven't said that in a while, but that is exactly it. People wanna know that they're not alone. Yeah.

And that there's art and you don't have to live with whatever it is that doesn't feel good right now in your body or sexually. We are all in this together. And I wanna make it, I wanna also make it easy for people. So this is why, I mean, I'm just excited to be able to, and I miss it too. Like I love doing my live radio show because I could talk to people every day, but then we'd go home and I'd be thinking about, well, I wonder what happened with the guy with the crooked penis in Wisconsin. Like did he go

talk to his doctor about it or the couple who called in and they're like, well, we were about to get divorced and now we've been driving, listening to this show. And I finally had a conversation with my wife about her orgasms and she said she'd been having pain for 20 years and never told me she was having pain. So now I like think about them all the time. I'm like, well, I'm wondering if she figured out how not to have the pain.

I mean, just all the things, but it seems so, it seems so incomplete for such a dire topic that is impacting every area of your life. If you're not having great sex or more pleasure, you're not probably enjoying other areas of your life. And you don't think that this is possible, that pleasure. So it's just like, I think I'm just frustrated with that after 20 years that we're still in this place

and it feels urgent. You know, I think about all of these young people too, what I'm hearing, what was it? There was some study wrote down like a kid is asking, I think it was in Canada, he asked his teacher for advice how to choke his girlfriend. He was like 14? Yeah, yeah, I think that was it.

Well, there's been, I think there was a New York Times article, right, and Peggy Ornstein did an opinion piece, but it's crazy that it's just the idea that choking is part of sex. Like, so you think about, I mean, my God, we're talking about like the pleasure gap of like, the difference of like, one, it's like, oh, we're prioritizing men's orgasms over women's. Actually, we're choking women, like, you know what I mean? That that, and that that's become normalized. And I think it was something that like, there was this study done recently,

or I think it was talking in the article of like, 5,000 college students at like a big Midwestern university, and women, two thirds of them had been choked, one third in the last time they had had it. And it was like one in four had happened between 12 and 17 for the first time. And like, I can tell you, my girls are 15 and 17. And the idea that like, forget like,

all the steps like we're not talking about sex and PS, that that's what's being normalized is just bananas to me. And how do you start getting that out there of like, actually this is what pleasure is about knowing yourself, men and women, boys and girls, men and women, and that's become what's normalized is scary. Yeah, no, that is scary. And urgent.

And urgent. And urgent. And urgent. And urgent. And urgent. And urgent. And urgent. And urgent.

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sign up for a subscription. That's paired.com slash swe to sign up today. There is an urgency because I also know that it's hard if you're a parent, like how are you going to, it's hard to just break open the conversation. So I, in my intentions, I feel like a lot of this membership is going to be about how to talk about it with anybody. So that's how we're going to get rid of all the shame. If we got all these people, let's say it's 5,000, and every day you have an assignment or once a week, we don't know what we got. I don't wanna overburden people.

Yeah, yeah. But- People can take it at their own pace. You can take it at your own pace, but you, it's a practice, like feeling less shameful about sex and talking about it is a practice. So the more we do it, it's a skillset. It's gonna just feel so much better. So I feel like we're gonna learn it together.

And this is why I'm launching my SmartSX membership. Yeah, yeah, so excited. It's gonna be great. It is, it's today. We still gotta figure out why we're not having orgasms. And the main thing is, and this is the other thing in the article, is that it focuses on sexual intercourse. Yes. But I have said this so many times, and I want to say this is the last time I'm going to say it,

but it can't possibly be the last time I'm going to say it. That if you have a vulva, you require clitoral stimulation to have an orgasm, to have more pleasure. That's where it starts. And if you want to know about the clitoris and the legs of the clitoris and where the clitoris is, I've got a million episodes about that. We're not going to go there now.

But is this, this, this needs to be known fact. How do we not know this? Well, okay, can I just say that I didn't even know. So before even coming and working with you. You can see I'm glad you still care. Okay, no. So I mean, first of all, you say vulva instead of vagina. I always thought the entire thing was vagina.

Okay, that is my opinion. And then secondly, this idea that the clitoris has legs. I'm like, wait, what? Like, how have I not known that? You can bring out the puppet. But like, I have not known that. And I feel like I'm in touch sexually, like I'm good with it.

And I have known none of those things. So it's like, it just like, I never got the memo. And if I didn't, I'm assuming most people didn't. And it goes back to like the sex education, right? Where sex education, sex was about men's, you know, like begins and ends with the penis. Yes. And for women, it was like, don't get pregnant. Yeah, don't get pregnant.

That's how sex education. Don't get an STD. You're gonna get your period, don't get pregnant. That's about it. That was it. Yes, I also didn't even know that you couldn't get pregnant. Like I thought you could get pregnant at any time,

at any point in time where there was no ovulation. Like they didn't teach you that because they wanted to scare you. And so it was like, I literally thought I could get pregnant when I had my period, which was obviously not the case, but it's just from the state of education, not so good. And I gotta tell you, that was when you were younger,

the thing is, people in their 20s now still think that. People right now, they just learn that. Because we don't have the menstrual education on our menstruation, we don't have education on any of it. So it's sort of a disaster, but when you really think about it, we, yeah, it's all been focused on, like the penis goes in, the penis has pleasure,

and we are left with none. There you go. And then I also think, as you're seeing, I think about how do we figure this out? Okay, it's not sex education, maybe your friends are talking about it, as we've talked about, generally speaking, you're not talking about it with friends,

or maybe you've learned, as I did in high school, how to do something, but you don't talk about your own pleasure. And then it comes down to movies and television, and what are you actually seeing that's out there, right? And those are the things that are informing you and telling you. And I have to say, Euphoria, amazing show, right? And like, those are the things that are informing you and telling you, and like, I have to say,

like, Euphoria, amazing show, right? Great show. And so my younger daughter, I think it came out, what, three years ago, and she was like, hey, I wanna watch this show. And I was like, okay, Euphoria, she was like 12. And I was like, let me watch it first and see what it's about,

and then to see if you can watch it or not. And honestly, like, I mean, it's an amazing show, but the depictions of sex and it was basically like, everything that would horrify and scare you as a parent and you would not want for your children was what was depicted in that show. And so I was like, I don't want you to watch the show. And she was like, I gotta be honest, I already did.

And so I was like horrified, but she, and the part that was weird and I, and I, she was not worried, but she was like, I actually didn't think it was that bad. Now what I've realized later and what she said to me is, mom, a lot of that went over my head. So I'm like, thank God, you know what I mean? Like a lot of this stuff, right.

She just didn't understand. I think that happens with movies and TV a lot of times, right, where there were things that were like super sexual. I remember that when I was younger and I was like, oh, I miss that entirely, you know? But when those are the images and things that people are seeing and like it's, and you know, all of the makeup and jewelry came out of it

and then, you know, like she's amazing and like all of the actors and the kids all love them, but the actual, what it was showing was super dark and very disturbing. And like, this is what you're seeing is normalized. And that's, so that's where the education's coming from. Yeah, and even if it went over her head, she's still thinking, well, that was sex. This whole thing that I don't really understand,

that's really confusing, that all I learned in school was not to, you know, not to have sex or not whatever she learned or not to get pregnant. But it's that pleasure. It is the pleasure aspect of sex which we just don't see or they're seeing it on euphoria or porn. Like a lot of kids see porn at like eight years old, their first image of porn, which is also confusing, but we also know that porn isn't real life.

So a lot of this just, the conversations need to counteract that. Just what they've learned early on, what actually isn't true, what's serving them. Women in porn, I look at that, I'm like, he's nowhere near her clutter as like that. She is not having an orgasm. Like they're not having orgasms. And I have interviewed porn stars, they're not.

But how else would they get, that's what they think it is. Right, but that's what you're seeing, right? So you're like, I do that, that's what happens, yay team, everybody wins. And the answer is like, actually that's totally fake. Exactly, it's totally fake. It is a scripted version of sex that was made

probably by a man for a man that thought that it was hot. But this is the same thing about choking, like this is where it comes from. And I understand the choking lure, like a lure of it, like it can feel like, you know, someone has control over you and the dominance and all of that stuff. But it's just, again, I always say to women when they ask me any questions or anyone, like, well, how do I do this thing or what feels good? They did find evidence that the orgasm gap narrows as women develop confidence.

And so this is how they're going to develop the confidence At the end of the day is taking their pleasure into their own hands. That's right Right, right and not having the expectation because I think I don't know like there's sort of not that's expectations even you were saying it earlier about like the expectation that like your partner's gonna know what's working for you and like or even like when you've been in a marriage for a Long time of like well They know me and they know what I like. And the reality is those things change over time.

And what does something for you one day may not do something for you the next day. And if you're like, well, they should know, that's not so good. You have to be like, actually, this is what works for me today, or this is what I'm feeling. Both men and women need to be able

to have that conversation. Everyone needs to have that conversation about what actually feels good to them. But since they never, this is where my head spins, because they never even had the information, maybe they found this one thing that worked, but it doesn't work anymore. Like it just doesn't.

Like I used to run for exercise. I don't like running anymore. That doesn't make me feel good anymore. Like sex is the same thing. I used to like certain positions or certain kinds of sex and now things just feel different or I'm not in the mood for it sometimes. Like sex, there's a whole sex menu

that has all the different things on it that you might like that you can choose from but people don't even really know what that is. No, it's true. And it's also, and then in that same way and with this respect to the gap of being able to have the confidence to be able to say like, oh, that didn't work for me today,

or I wanna try something new, or be able to just have that open dialogue to be able to have those conversations. Because without that, they said, I mean, you're not going to the restaurant at all. Like forget what's on the menu, you know what I mean? Like if the restaurant is closed, right, then it doesn't necessarily open up the menu.

And they're all closed in these restaurants, and we should open them up again. It's time to open. Here's the thing, it's like that is the thing about confidence. But that's what you asked earlier about how I got my groove, how I started asking for what I wanted. That gave me confidence. I actually figured out what I actually liked. I really thought, couldn't have an orgasm during intercourse, couldn't ever have an orgasm. And just that confidence of not only figuring out my body, but also learning how to talk about it.

Like that builds confidence when you're nervous about something and then you practice and then you master it and then you have a good sexual experience. That's where sexual confidence comes from. But if we're never given the opportunity to actually learn and to test it and to talk about it, which most of us don't.

So a lot of people are walking around just feeling like failures sexually. Yeah. Right. Or they're making assumptions or they're feel like something's wrong with them. And then they're certainly not talking about it. I was laughing because there was we'll share like articles and news and stuff. And there was one about like I think it was from like Cosmo that was talking about like how to practice to talk dirty. And I was literally reading through it and like giggling to myself, you know what I mean? And it's like, they're like, say it out loud, say it to a friend, do all these things.

And it's like, why does it feel so weird? But you're like, okay. You know? But it works, do it in the shower. Right? I'm like, do it in the shower, find your sexy voice, get inspired by other people. I think the thing about sex is,

anything else we try in real life, we're like, it's okay to be a beginner. Yes. It's okay to get comfortable with it. The first time you do any sport or you're like, okay, it's my first time on skates. This is my first time with a tennis racket. And then you know that there's a practice

where you're going to build over time and then you gain confidence by playing, having a coach. So in a sense, I wanna be everyone's like sex coach right now and help them get the confidence that they need to Tell me that yeah, give them the instructions they need to answer all of their questions But there's this weird thing with sex that we assume that right away. We should be great at it We should know our bodies our partners should know our bodies like you were saying like they're mind readers, right?

It's freaking not now and it's like it's so funny not not funny But always i've always said it from like even in a business when you're building stuff and when you're growing big companies, it's like get comfortable with being uncomfortable. And it's such an uncomfortable topic that it's really hard to get comfortable with being uncomfortable in this and having those kinds of conversations

because it's like the thing that's closest to you and that feels the most, whether it's shameful or just hardest thing to talk about. And so the idea of like getting comfortable with being uncomfortable with sex and then, you know, that's one of the like, like it's shameful or just hardest thing to talk about. And so the idea of like getting comfortable with being uncomfortable with sex and then, you know, that's one of the like, like you gotta do it. You gotta do it. And then it gets a lot easier.

Like I don't even think about it now to a point of like, I know that I'm like in the middle of the story yelling about like, or it's like saying to somebody like, tell me about your sex life. So you have multiple orgasms and we're like at the checkout at like Safeway or whatever. I'm like, oh, I don't even, it's that's, I mean, I don't know if everyone's gonna get to that extreme, but that's, there's nothing wrong with talking about this. And it's just gonna make it a whole lot of easier for people once we start doing it. So, and the one thing that did narrow the pleasure gap is the women who built more confidence. Yeah, right. And, and that confidence is gonna narrow the pleasure gap from a sexual perspective.

And P.S. it's gonna work for the rest of your life, too. It's going to give you pleasure in doing other things and more confidence in doing other stuff in your life. And I feel like in a really positive way, where you're seeing women at this point being like, hey, I'm going out. I'm doing these things and really taking charge and control. And it's just the exact same thing has to happen in sex.

And then it's a double whammy. Total bonus. Exactly, gosh, just a skillset that we didn't, no one told you, it's okay. We're gonna have to play it. Now we're changing that. We're doing it, yes. You know, we've spent a lot of time now

talking about orgasms, but I just wanna throw something out here and this is also mentioned in this article that what if orgasm is not the measure of success in a sexual encounter or pleasure? What if pleasure is the measure? Like orgasm, we always measure it on these orgasms. But what if there was this meter where you could figure out like how pleasurable was that on a scale of one to 10?

And we made sure that we always had pleasure. And not just, did you have an orgasm? Did you crack this code? And it's really just about what made you feel good. Totally, it makes me laugh. I think it's like the old, like the carnival games or whatever where you hit the hammer really hard

and you only win if it gets to the buzzer, you know? But it's like all the scale on the way up. Like that's actually like the win is the act and the scale versus like the, you know, the buzz at the end. Right, exactly. That's the ice cream on the cake. But yeah, there's just, there's such a range. Isn't it funny though, that the one thing about sex we hear about is the orgasm and then all these women having

problems having orgasm and we've always equated sex with orgasm, so it's all just sort of broken. Like what if sex is feeling good, being in your body, asking for what you want, having more confidence, having consensual sex, knowing how to communicate about it. That's all the ways we're gonna narrow this gap. Totally, and you said it before, it's like the idea that there's foreplay and there's sex

where it's all actually the same thing. I mean, it also makes me not laugh, but think about like with Clinton and Lewinsky, where she's like, I did not have sex with that woman. And it was like, well, you had a blow job and you did all of these other things. So, you know, that was like, well, actually, you know, but it becomes down to a question of definition of sex.

And when you've already said, always said, well, sex is penetration, then like, that's how it's defined. And it's like, that's not, as you said, that's not what it should be. And that's not what it is. So let's start calling it actually what it is. Sex is the entire act from beginning to end and hopefully it's longer than two or three minutes

or whatever. We didn't even cover that today, right? Well, yeah, with the gap, we know at two minutes nothing's really happening, but yeah, it could be kissing, it could be cuddling, holding hands, a sensual massage, sexy massage. It means all of that could be sex. If you felt intimately, you felt intimate and you felt connected, like that's what it is.

Right. Because the flip is, if you think about it, like, if someone is, you know, let's say they're past the point of being able to have an orgasm or be able to get it up or whatever, so they didn't have sex, like that doesn't make any sense, right? It's still the same thing, you know? So that should all count. All right. We've got to count it.

We've got to, we've got to just, this is why we we gotta just unlearn and then relearn all the things about sex. Starting today. Okay. I'm in. Amy, thank you so much for coming to Talk To Me Today. This was fantastic. I love having your wisdom now on the podcast and in the business and thank you for everything.

And like, let's go. Let's go, so much fun. I'm so excited. Thank you for having me. Yeah. That's it for today's episode. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and be sure to like, subscribe and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner.

You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, TikTok, Twitter or X and Facebook. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up on sex with Emily dot com. And while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. And if you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559-TALK-SEX.

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