Sex With Emily - The Self-Love Experience

Episode Date: May 20, 2016

We’ve all got our own ways of showing ourselves the love, so to speak, but sometimes we may need a little help getting in the mood. In this show, Emily takes us through her top tips for getting into the masturbation mindset! Are you rushing through your self-love sessions? Getting O-Blocked by stress? When it come to fantasizing, does your mind draw a blank? Whether you’re new to solo sex or would simply like to step up your self-love game, Emily has tips to help you create a sensual space, think sexy thoughts and make masturbation into an erotic experience from the moment you hit the bedroom until the last climactic stroke. Also, advice for a listener on how to organize the perfect orgy and an interesting study on lady Gorillas that reminds us that sexuality is anything but black and white. From marijuana to meditation to kicking your dog out of the bedroom, this podcast is packed with tips to help you find your perfect path to self-pleasure. Dim the lighting, lay back and enjoy the ride! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. We all know masturbation is pretty great, right? Well, in today's show, we're talking about how to make it even better. That's right, it can get better your masturbation routine, but it takes some work. But I promise you, it's the most pleasurable work you can do, and I'll walk you through it. Thanks for listening. By now, you all know me pretty well. You know I love new experiences, but I have my favorite things that I always come back

to you because I know I can trust them. I can't think of a better example than the magic wand. If you've been listening, you might remember that I actually had a hole drilled in my nightstand so my magic wand was always plugged in and ready right when I needed it. That's pretty big commitment. And I thought it was pretty ingenious, but anyway, before you go destroying your furniture, consider this. The trusted magic wand is now available in a rechargeable version, delivering all that power of the original plus the mobility of

a completely cordless design. The magic wand rechargeable also features four intensity levels and four great vibration patterns. For when 30 years, a trusted magic wand from Vibratex has been just about everyone's go-to massager from its perfect size to the high quality construction materials. It's no wonder where the magic wand is considered the Cadillac of all Vibers. If you don't own one yet, don't live without the magic wand another day. And if you do own one, you need to try the retargetable. Go to sexwithatelene.com and click on the magic wand banner to order yours Look into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend because my man, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand, oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, but only? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh my god, I want to feel so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemla.com where you can check out the content we put out every day because we want you to have better sex and relationships. And also you can subscribe to our podcast, and you can follow us on Twitter,

and Instagram, and Snapchat, it's all at sex, Emily, and Facebook, because we do put out great content, we give away toys, and a lot of our stuff is pretty damn good and funny, so follow it. I have a quick question, because I had something going on at on with some websites that I'm involved in, right? It's nothing sexual, but the websites were blocked at work.

Now does Emily Morris dot com still go to sex at Emily dot com? No, you still. Oh, dear. Why are you trying to get sex at Emily dot com? No, I was just wondering because if somebody might be afraid to type type in sex Emily dot com, maybe they can go to Emily Morris. I did that for a while. It was a redirect, but it would still get dinged. It didn't.

It did. Oh, damn. I know I still get I get blocked like an airplane. Yeah. Can't go to my site. I'm so hurt. Taters are going to hate. I mean, but don't be afraid though to type in sex Emily dot com because you're not going

to get like not going to get it. It's not going to be. Yeah, like you porn or something like that where it's just like animated weeners going all Well, it looks like a lifestyle website. Yeah, it is a lifestyle website. It's it's it's clean and pretty. Yeah, it's great A little bit of anal sex though. How's your personal life going? My personal life is good. I met Somebody in San Francisco. Oh really? Yeah, and you saw coming to visit for a day. Cool. Yeah, which is perfect. Yeah, you love that. Okay. Um, and I met him in my training, the Celeste and Danielle, uh, so medical work training. Remember they were on the show. We talked about this a little bit and I'll be getting into it more over the, I'm right now I'm still processing.

But over the next few months about this kind of work I'm doing, that's really going to help everyone, how myself, how others help you, menace, work a lot with sexual energy and your feelings and emotions and all that good stuff. And yeah, we just moved to offices, which was killer. We have been moving out a lot of sex toys. It's really all 99% of it is. I've been hearing about the smooth forever. It's been going out for a month.

So I'm going to get what's up with you. Tell me everything. Have a It's going on for a month. It's on. Okay, what's up with you? Tell me everything. I have a couple things going on. I believe or not, there's a lot of sex with Emily listeners and Los Angeles. And I get surprised every day. I'll be walking down the street and I'll bump into one. But I'm asking a big favor for all the local Los Angeles sex with Emily listeners. On Saturday, I know today's Friday, if you're listening.

Saturday, May 21st. Okay. I'm doing a thing. I've hooked up with the Habit Burger. It's a burger chain. Yeah, of course you hooked up with the burger chain. Yeah, of course, but I'm actually doing good with this. So the Habit Burger has a food truck

that we're sending out to a bunch of locations around Los Angeles and a hundred percent of the proceeds are gonna be going to different charities. So the first one that I'm doing on Saturday from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. in Glendale, California. Glendale, okay. A hundred percent of the proceeds that day that we get all the money from the food truck

will go to a hope for pause for for Paws for getting dogs off the streets and helping animals that are abandoned and stuff like that. So they can come here and hang a need of burger and support dogs. And it's only five bucks for an entire meal. Oh my God, I'm coming. What time, 11 to 1 on Saturday? Yeah, 11 to 1.

I wanna come. No, 11 to 2, sorry. Where can people find out more though? I do. They go to lunchwithwoody.com. Okay, I to 1. I want to come. No, 11 to 2. Sorry. Where can people find out more though? They go to lunch with the woody.com. Okay. That's lunch with woody.com. Get all the details and Again, the habit burger. They're taking a loss. They're not even They're not taking any of the money that we make that day and paying the workers are paying for the truck everything That's so cool. All the money goes for hope for Paws. So that's on the 21st. And then on the 28th in Long Beach, California, we're going to have the Habbert Burger out there

again. And 100% of the proceeds goes to Linfoma Research. So if anybody can make out to one of those locations, that would be great. All Linfoma is at lunchwithwoody.com. Look at you doing good work in that. I'm trying. And if you can't make it, you understand it's all good, but if you just haven't been in the area, stop. That's a fun thing to do on the weekend.

Yeah. Like go support a good cause and eat a burger with menace. Easy. I would do that every day if I could. Thank you. Yeah, so check it out. So that's what I have going on. That's my whole agenda for next couple of months. We have a third location

too, which is going to be in June. Can they keep checking out the woodies? What is it? Lunch with the woodie.com. Lunch with the woodie.com. Yeah, because I'm part of the Woodie Show, which is a morning show that you can hear money through Friday on all 90s. It's a big time show. In LA, it's crazy. It's been doing very well here. Party, oh, man. Thank you. Thank you. So we're trying to do good. It's good. I'm glad you're doing good. Shout out to the men. Thank you. Thank you. So we're trying to do good. It's good. I'm glad you're doing good.

Shout out to the habit. Thank you for having me. The habit burger I've never had one. Oh, you're going to have to. I'm coming. I'm coming. Speaking of coming, we're still in masturbation month. Yeah, we are.

And we've got to give way contest. Go to sexwithalley.com. Click on the contest button, which is a new fun button on our website. Find out what we've got going on this month. There's a contest. How you self love. Everyone masturbates a little bit differently, and if you email me feedback at sextoelmy.com,

tell us your masturbation routine, do you like candles, porn, do you got a playlist, whatever you do. Let us know, it ends this week, the contest. So send it in now, feedback at sex with Emily. We'll choose our favorite submissions to win some pretty great masturbation month prizes. We don't mess around. We're not sending you some schlocky toys or products.

No. Schlocky. They're good stuff. I don't know what schlocky means. I know it's a Yiddish word. It means Yucky. I don't know where I just looked at that. I'm talking to my grandmother.

I don't know where it came from. But it did. So they're nice products that fund things that you should win on masturbation month. That's great. Okay, so there's that and we've also had some great shows lately. We released one of Transpan and San Francess, San Fran, San Fran, I think over those great guests. That was a great show with Venus, Venus Lux. We be a product to show that we people love that show. It was amazing. So I'm checking out. We've got a lot so many good shows. Yeah, so this is what we've got a little bit of sex in the news here before we get in deep dive into masturbation.

Female gorillas turn to gay relationships when they tire of male gorilla rejection. Really? Yes. So while studying the behavior of male gorillas in Rwanda, this professor noticed homosexual behaviors in a number of females. gorilla's in Rwanda. This professor noticed homosexual behaviors in a number of females. His research indicates that female gorillas derive pleasure from their sexual experiences with other females.

The first officially documented example of same sex, sexual relationships of female mountain gorillas. And it's the 18 to 22, 18 of the 22 participated in gay sexual activities, including courtship displays. He compares female sexual girls to human women saying they can shift from homosexual to head

or sexual sex. So we always talk about women like being on the spectrum. Given all these observations, come from wild groups, not girls, how the healthy captivity is obvious that homosexual activity is part of the girl's natural behavior. But here's the interesting thing. Apparently, some of these sexual encounters were interrupted by aggressive males, while other males see totally unfazed by it. So, the study is suggesting that gay sex is the result of females growing weary of male rejection.

So, the gorilla in females. So, females, yeah, that women, females, gorillas are turning to other, usually they're with male girls. We're like, this gorilla is not bringing home the bananas. And so I'm going to go out with a little bit. Yeah, we always say that that women who are tough times with men that they're going to hook up with them, they're going to like turn a lesbian. And I don't, I don't know if the study is saying that necessarily it, I haven't talked to many women. But I think, you know, people just make decisions about things for different reasons. But it's more likely that a woman could kind of fluctuate back and forth between like being in a lesbian relationship, being a straight woman, typically don't

run on that spectrum. So still blown away about thats that we did with the what is it the Venus Lux? No, no, no, no, for. Oh, wild horses. Wild horses. That was a great one. I don't know why I said for. But the wild horses. The wild horses.

The wild horses. Because we were talking to one of them and she said like she was just hanging out with this girl that happened to be a lesbian. She's never ever thought that she would ever hook up with a woman and then eventually she became in the relationship with one. She's like, I never would have thought I was dating men for years.

Yeah, happens all the time. Yeah, still blown away. But one day I might turn up with my new girlfriend. But it's funny though, because I have a friend who in college, she got roomed up with lesbians, right? And she never thought she was lesbian or anything like that. And then she just started hooking up and dating lesbians, right? And even years afterwards, after college continued because that's who she's around herself with that's her friends were. And then immediately after she moved to a different area

and she wasn't around that started dating guys again. And she's never gone back and she's never gone. That's interesting. She was socialized and raised around that. I don't know. I don't know. She says that she's like being in that atmosphere. She thought she was. She really was a track woman. She was still is, but thought I was a woman. But I'm sure she really was attracted to women. She probably still is, but it's not.

I like to be with men right now. No, that happens. Most of you don't hear that with. The better question is, how much did the person get paid to do the research about the gorillas, right? And then what do you do with that information afterwards? Is my tax money going to that? Because I cry every time.

I know. You hear the studies about like the iPhone. Every time I look at my paycheck and see all the taxes taken out, I'm like, I give you here about all this research. I mean, what do you do with that information? In Rwanda, what do you do with that information was with? He thinks females might participate in homosexual activities to decrease the overall motivation of other females to have heterosexual sex Okay, thus reducing other women's reproductive success So either you need to get back at other women are they doing because they're trapped women and they're weary of men

Like they forget that it's really what about if it's we always start with it We're not if it's humans like who cares about that information because people Who cares about sex information and research and interaction science of attraction No, but I'm just saying like if that's what the person ends up preferring like who cares, you know You're just so they were open I guess I just go and I guess I will People would like the science big middle. Oh middle American. He's answers on why yeah, why who women these people I forget some times I forget sometimes having grown up, I mean, my formative years in being in California that people are not as accepted accepting of everything.

I mean, people are fighting over effing bathrooms, I guess. I know, but for our country, how great is our country that the thing that we're bishing and money about is bathrooms. I just think about that people. For transgendment. Women and men. Yeah, no, I get it. The thing that we're bitching and moaning about is bathrooms. Just think about that people. For transgenders. Yeah.

Women and men. Yeah, no, I get it. I understand why that's really going to impact the world. Like, there's so many. I just hate the people who are fighting against. It's like, brother, happy to go towards what your agenda is. And there's got to be some positive energy you can put into rather than fighting bathrooms.

Like, something that's always about it. That's always the better choice. So you can go towards your cause rather than anti. But again, I just want people that when they're like bitching and moaning about anything, just think how great your life is that you're able to do that. And instead of being in another country where you're trying to find something to eat

or you can't even do that, like in China, people were, women were banned from eating bananas because it's too sexual. Right, right. Like I was doing a bit like. You know, it's like. Like, public or like at home, anywhere. Or just like over the web, because like web,

the webcam, the webcam girls, which don't do anything sexual anyways, like they eat bananas on the webcam. In China. So the Chinese government has figured out, like, wait a minute, that's way too sexual, and so they've banned that. Bananas, how did everything?

So again, when you're bitching in your own life, I just want you to think about that kind of stuff. Like, they're really good people. You might be banned from eating bananas. Right, exactly. I'm sorry. Damn good here. I just wanted to sink in with people.

God bless. Now, that's good. That's good. That's good. Yeah, I don't bitch him on about that. Think about how you could have more pleasure in your life and how you could send love to the people around you, which we're gonna get into in a minute. But first, we're gonna give him a little shout out

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Okay, let's get into our topic. It's all about getting in the mood mess. Oh, getting in the mood. Yeah, we'll get you in the mood mess. Oh, getting in the mood. Yeah. Who gets you in the mood to, uh, well, really talk about masturbation. We'll get you the mood for masturbation. What gets me in the, I see that's why I think women and men differ because guys don't really need a set up. I mean, it's, it's how it comes your head. Yeah, thought comes in my head.

But I mean, I, I don't need, I don't need any kind of set up or anything. You know, you just do it if you have time. But what's hilarious, if anybody listens to Howard Stern, what's I suggest they do on a series, XM, which is, it's an amazing show. Forget about all the like, the things that he's amazing right now. Like he's great interviews and, but he always does talk about his masturbation routine, which is freaking hilarious. He talks about how he uses an iPad to watch porn, and then he has tissues that he holds

the iPad with. He doesn't want to get dirty, he doesn't want to have to do that. And tissues that he keeps in his underwear to keep everything clean. And then he has to shuffle after he's done over to the trash can to throw away the tissues and all kinds of crazy routines. Like, I know, I understand, like, people do have their routine. Right. You have a routine? No, I don't. But I'm sure, like, in the past, I did. Right. That's funny. Yeah, we're talking about cheese.

Because you would have to hide it. But when you're living on your own, you just blew it all over the bed. Whatever. We the girlfriends really have to clean it up later. But it's, yeah, I get it. Yeah. But do you, I'm sure as a female, you

might have a better, more thought out routine. It is a little more thought out. And I think that this is the thing that I want to share with everyone is that, you know, we hear from so many, you know, couples or women and men who were just, you know, thinking like, my partner is just not in the mood for sex. They're not really, you know, they don't get turned on. They just don't, they're not on board the sexual training. They're sort of shut down for business. And so we're going to talk a little bit about how do you even get in the mood for sex for masturbation because especially for women, you're right.

Men like have a thought and they race home, they get their car and they jack off and they're done. I'm not saying that's every man, but for women, it's our mind. Like our brain is our largest sex organ and has to get on board with sex. So we often have to start thinking about like thoughts and things that turn us on so we can get going towards masturbation because it's so important to masturbate. So we have a whole month dedicated to the whole life dedicated to it, like myself, but it's because it will help with everything you do. I mean, there's health benefits. It's

like stress reliever. And also, if you're it helps you keep it, it helps stoke your desire for sex. And the more you masturbate, the more you touch yourself, the more you learn about all the pleasure you can have, like the more sex you're for sex. And the more you masturbate, the more you touch yourself, the more you learn about all the pleasure you can have, like the more sex you're gonna want, the more you're gonna want to masturbate. And it got to be thinking about this because, again, I love it. I don't have time to masturbate.

I've got two kids at home, or my life's so busy. Unlike men who'd be like, I'm gonna make time because I got a bone right now, and I'm gonna do it. So, if you're one of those women, you let a can't quit figure out how to fit it in, we're gonna give you some tips for that. And for the men or women who love you and want to help you with that. But it started getting me think something that's gotten me to work out.

You have always been like a workout person, but I go and like, you know, have my dips where I don't. And I realize that like, this is a basic thing that people do. And I started lying out my clothes before in the morning. So I'm like, okay, wake up. I step there's my tennis shoes, my riding clothes, and I step into them and I leave. And it was so much easier to work out. I'd never tried that before. I know people do that layout the clothes that I for, but it was a got me going. So then I started thinking about that it kind of reminded me of masturbation and that how you have to have your environment set up in a way that's like conducive for you and inspire you to masturbate. So if you're like, I want to do it, but the door doesn't lock and the loops across the room, and I have it charged my vibrator and someone's going

to come home or my, you know, all these reasons why not to. But if you have like a certain thing that triggers you when you walk in in like a good way, like you have your like toys sitting out already charged or lubr, maybe it's your favorite song, and you can start setting up triggers or you put in your calendar, whatever it is to get you going, that will help. And I know that it comes easy for most men. But we, you know, it can be still a new activity for a lot of women, and they just have a quite and gotten into it. And we also just take longer to warm up.

So we have to sometimes, for women, it's like, on the way home, if you're like, oh, tonight I want to masturbate, you could start like thinking about sexy time. You had most recent time in your wisdom line where you were really turned on. This is something you bring into masturbation as well. We have to kind of drop things, yes. But also, I've been talking about this for years.

I always kind of use masturbation as a tool to be able to last longer when I'm actually having sex. I mean, they've always said it was pre-gaming too, but it was also just like, you know, a process to help out when you're actually having sex. Right. Because then you won't, you can come and get you won't, you'll last. You're not as excited, maybe. I mean, I, maybe that's weird to say. Like, yeah, yeah, definitely. I'm excited about having sex with this person. But, uh, you said you released. So yeah, yeah. No, that's true. So let's

talk about some tips to get yourself in the mood for masturbation. Marijuana. Marijuana is a key. My I saw the friend of the night. She's like, yeah, I can only have an orgasm when I'm high. I'm serious. Yeah. I mean, that can help for some people. I think that was the only sex advice my mom ever gave me. She's not what smoke pot. maybe you should smoke a joint. Are you serious? Relax.

I was like 19. She's like, you're a tri- I'm like, Mom, no! Really fit to her. There is a certain brownie out there that I swear they must put viagra in it or something. A brownie? Yeah. What do you mean? There's like some- where do they sell it?

They sell it at the dispensary in Los Angeles, I heard. Allegedly. Oh, it's a dispensary that actually sells a marijuana brownie that's forced, it's like a fire brownie. Yeah, but no, no, but it's not meant to be, but for some reason, it has that effect. See, it's edible, because it's like, it's kind of like the logic, but not this magic brownie. Allegedly. It's got a metastonsor. It has XXX on it. an edible because it was like it's kind of like the logic but not this magic brownie allegedly

as a sponsor which it has xxx on it okay I don't know what that means either but it's wherever you're at menacellate which I heard from a friend you heard from a friend for sure that's great it has different strokes for different photos so we made your you made your erection last longer allegedly you're friend you're kidding you're the time that your friend. You're friend. You measure the time that your friend's erection took to. But it definitely has enhanced it. I mean, I know a lot of people like, Oh, marijuana is not my thing. Then the course is not your thing. And then I think out, I'll call it definitely used to be that vice for me, whatever, because I didn't suffer from whiskey weener. Right. Did the exact

opposite. But I'm like totally drinking more drinking. Right. It's terrible. It makes you feel like I know and you used to take it to the next level. And I used to say like, oh yeah, I just drink some dequila, but no, don't. I know I'm so glad you don't say that anymore. Now you're just pushing drugs, but that's cool. Whatever.

I know whatever marijuana. I'm just saying and I honestly, I don't I rarely. I know you don't eat I'm not a smoke weed or anything every single day. No, but it's people talk about the Mid-disciplines. Once every two months or whatever right or before the show or before the show Okay, right there's a lot of different things they can do whatever it is that relaxes you meditation deep breath You want to get into the good. Marijuana, who?

No, you definitely have to like, not psych yourself out. Because you're like, oh, I want to, oh, I finally get to have sex with this person. Oh, I want to make sure I'm going to do the best bubble. And that's one, the time that you last like two seconds, you know? Exactly. So then you, uh, right, you let it go. For women, yeah.

I know. But for women, it can help if you know that you're seeing a partner and you have been turned on like to master, like I feel like the more I masturbate, the let it go for women. Yeah, I know. But women can help if you know that you're seeing a partner and you haven't been to turn on, like to master, like I feel like the more I masturbate, the more that I want, sex. So, so here's some suggestions that you can jump start your self-loving routine, okay? So this is huge, huge, huge, huge. I know this has been a problem for me

when I haven't been able to get down to business and that is to eliminate distractions. So you want to make time for it, no matter what. Ideally, you have more time than a lot of people, but sometimes it's good just to get it out, you want to have a quickie rather than nothing at all. So this actually came from what a listener, an email from a listener to get us warmed up here.

He was the week one winner of how you masturbate. We have our contest going. So this was his example. This was how he masturbates right? Right. Dear Emily, I really enjoy the show and thought that I would send you an email about how I typically self love. I'm a 38 year old male from Arizona. I don't have much time to enjoy masturbating with two young girls around. So I have to do my best to rub when I want to

camp. I speed home from work. So I have 10 minutes before my daughter's bus shows up to relieve myself. I burst into the house and shuffle the dog into the backyard. I can see the disappointment in my dog's face because she's so happy to see me but I'm on a mission. I grab my phone and try to try some online inspiration. I drop my drawers, hit the bed. I usually don't get real far over the dog is barking in the back. I'm both the neighbors and distracting me. I scurry to the back door if I pancer on my ankles to let the dog in. I'm running behind now. I make my way back to bed with my half-heart erection, I pull out my phone and start trying to find something else fun to look at.

By now, my dog is made to the side of the bed and is begging for me to let her up. This is exhausting. I won't be able to do this with her making all this noise. I throw on the bed and get back to work. I have only minutes now and need to get busy. I have to skip the light porn and dial everything hard. I'm going to have to go in and go out quick. I jerk it fast and hard. I have to skip the light porn and dial it with a thing hard. Cool, how are you? I jerk it fast in the heart.

I have to put a pillow to block my dog's view. What I'm seeing. I know that I see this. This person is speaking to my heart. I know. This is why we're reading this. I finished some dirty laundry and barely of time is that my pants are running out

to pick up my kids off the bus. It's kind of sad, but this routine happens more than I like to make. Thanks for your hard work. Our friend in Arizona. Oh, man. It's a good one, right? It's hilarious because I don't know how many shows ago, but I was talking about the dog because the dog. I mean, you cause you love the dog, but the dog stares you in the face and he doesn't know. They know. They know. you don't know if they know who cares if they know You start telling all the dogs in the dog park No, but you're like all because these dogs such a sweet

And the next thing I know is it sex for six to no I had this huge direction. No, it's just like I don't know it feels weird interesting debate. It feels weird. My dog, I just pushed to the corner. She was falsely. You can give edibles to your dog, not only. No, I don't want to do that. I would say. I would make that dog the shut up.

At least my dog doesn't bark. You give your dog an answer. I don't, I don't. I'm sure they do have edibles for dogs. They do, they do, maybe. But you get to figure out that barking situation. I think she's got to train your dog to be outside. Like give him a bone, give him bone with meat.

One of those meaty, meaty bones in the whole etch of sex. That's when it should be feeding time. Exactly. See, we're working this out together. Dude, I got this. Yeah. I got you. OK, so for women, this is some time,

eliminate distractions. OK, time manage your masturbation, set aside time, and ferment you a good amount of time. If you know that sometimes it takes you while to get in the mood, don't give yourself 30 minutes just to get down and busy, set aside enough time so you don't feel rushed. Also, you want to treat this time as sacred.

Turn off your phone, which actually I've been doing lately, I actually leave my phone outside my bedroom when I go to bed at night. I got a clock in my room. Yeah, because I'm looking at my phone asleep, like looking at Snapchat or something. It's like, that's not as do you want. You love this one chat now. I got a clock in my room. Yeah, because I don't I'm looking at falling asleep like looking at Snapchat something. It's like that's not the energy you want. I know. I love it. Lock your door if you need to. Surrender to the moment. Whether you're able to climax or not, you'll be glad that you

said this time. So remember, this is a practice. This is something that's going to take some time. It could take some time, but this is where we're exploring new rhinestones and going deeper into your pleasure. So you also want to de-stress. Stress, number one killer of your sex drive for men, women, couples, we come home or stress, it's a last thing on our mind. So it's so crucial to rid yourself of any tension before you hit the bedroom.

What happened in the day, no matter what work, your mom called, wardrobe, belt function, parking ticket, leave it at the front door. If you need to meditate, exercise, take a bath, I meditate at night. I do take baths sometimes not enough, but when I do, I'm totally in the mood. Because it just brings you down, and you're like, you get that, you brings you down to this level of like calm. You haven't seen me that way, but it happens. Do whatever you do to unwind, and the less nagging thoughts that in your head bouncing around the war room there is for the masturbation happy friendly thoughts or sexy dirty thoughts or whatever

kind of thoughts you have. So yeah, you also minus the next thing, you want to create a space for yourself. Like, masturbation space. A masturbation space. A masturbation space. I have like a meditation space. So there's so much research that research that shows that your environment has a huge impact on your state of mind. Like my house was a cluttered mess and now I'm working on making it a lot better and I already feel like it's more of my home right now

and the same goes for your bedroom forever it is that you master rate. So you want stuff you don't want and this is even for a couple you don't want the TV I know you probably have a TV in your bedroom, but just take all this stuff of work out here I'll make it like as happy and serene as you can and peaceful remove clutter work dirty laundry Oh, you hate it. There's like so much electronic shit in my room. It's crazy now also you want to You want to kind of stage like a self-seduction like you are seducing yourself. So you like candles, you can do these cool, uh, neon, uh, the new color changing LED lights. Have you seen these? I got, they got sent to me. It's

called LIFX, right? Yeah, you have one. We, uh, oh, we put it on. Yeah, you, you screwed in my ball that night. No, I didn't. It was already there. I observed the screen. Oh, OK. So it connects to an app on your smartphone. It changes colors and it sets the themes for different moods. And it's a great setting for masturbation. You can even be like, oh, it's the coolest thing. We all have one.

I love them. It's called LIFX, the light bulb. But anyway, you can just be like, oh, this is like, you know, sometimes you need, when I'm talking about your environment, I'm talking about like, there might be certain sounds, like, there might be a candle that gets you in the mood. It might be a lighting, like, when my light goes to this like orangey strobe light that you can do, like, that makes me in the mood. So, you want

to set the scene for men? Same thing, whatever got to make into a love den, you might just need to suck. I don't know what it is. I feel like men always come into their socks. Music is a great thing. All the senses like unbored. Sound, sight, touch, scent. And do the things that you would do if you were gonna do someone or you wanted to be turned on, like how would you turn yourself on?

So it helps to think sexy thoughts to get your brain on board. So again, they can manage, I think that you're for men a lot of times, your sexy thoughts are just popping up here and there. And for women, porn, great way to do it. Yeah, but I'm sure you're not watching porn every time. No, fantasizing.

But a lot of women are just, you know, they're thinking of it. Is it sporadic or is it something that you've set up? It's when it's masturbation time. I think it's both. It could be something that just happened. If I just had a particularly hot sex session or I would- Wait, after you already had sex, you're gonna masturbate again.

No, no. I'm saying if recently, the two thing, fresh my mind, are a good new person I'm dating, I like think about different flickers of being with him in moments. And that's kind of like what I do mostly or different scenarios like think about like women together, watch, let's do more. Yeah, like most women.

Totally. Um, so you also fans again, you don't have to watch porn, you can just fantasize in your head. That's could be just as great for a lot of people. But here's another thing about fantasy. That's also a practice. So there's a lot of people I've worked into and like, you know, I don't fantasize in your head that's could be just as great for a lot of people. But here's another thing about fantasy. That's also a practice. So there's a lot of people I've worked into and like, you know, I don't fantasize. I don't know what turns me on. I don't know what I think about. Actually, a lot of this work I'm doing with Celeste Daniela, my

somatic training is about six months of training, but it is going to be about like being a somatic of practitioners, helping people realize what truly turns them on. Men and women, like you think you know, but there might be something you've repressed. And also if you just really don't know, like ways to like create scenarios that you know will get you there because so many of us have a hard time getting them in for sex.

So there's like a radical, you can listen to it, you can read all that. So FEMA friendly porn, Erica Lutz, Erica Lutz has a site X Confessions. It's a feminist porn site. It has a compilation of erotic short films. Monthly subscription is $27. It's a very popular site though.

We love good sex. Created by 20-something Lucy Blush covers some of the best porn sites for women. If you don't know where to start, it's a great place. You can show all of them to you. Tumblr, great place for more video. Yeah, you've got gifts, you've got images,

you've got short video clips, like I need you down the path to finding a lot of great stuff. Lady Cheeky, we love Lady Cheeky site, check her out in Tumblr. It's one of the top rated female-friendly erotic Tumblr sites. And then porn for men. You know how pairs, guys, a limit.

Porn hub, you pour in plenty of sites out there. And then for fetishes, we've got kink.com, for an angel, beautiful agony that just shows women's faces or guys. Oh, speaking of how you heard about sex bit yet. Did you hear about that? Sex bit. Yeah, so it's like, yeah, I think it's a you porn or one of those companies that came up with a website where it's like basically working out but you do different sex positions and you time yourself and you get points and all kinds Really it's really encourages couples to have sex with me together. That's really cool Yeah, I know that there's a key like working out

That's right. We've had sex this many times. I'm just being I think I'm a great You from masturbation too. I'm sure you could. Yeah, where you earn different points and it's helping you work out. I think the point thing works. I like doing it with my walking, my steps. And I have a meditation app where it says I've meditated like 85 hours this year.

I know, right? That could be like, lucky. Curing cancer or something, but I am meditating with all that time. Okay, so yeah. So fantasize. Okay, it's a very important skill for women to develop. Like I said, research shows women or something, but I am meditating with all that time. That's good. Yeah. So fantasize. Okay. It's a very important skill for women to develop.

Like I said, research shows women who are able to fantasize have a better chance of reaching orgasm. And this was something I can relate to because it did not come naturally to me. Like most of my thoughts are like anxious thoughts. Like what I do, I didn't do this, I got to do that. Like I can't relax. So I really have to like find what turned me out. Well we always said it's like

in your head most of the time, all this, everything. Everything is in your head. And most of the stuff we can craze there had, and most of the limitations are in our head. And most of the things you tell yourself that you can't fantasize, you can't have an orgasm, you can't have 16 orgasms, or you can't stay hard. A lot of it is in our head. I understand your body might not be on board with that, but once you get your head on board, your body will follow. So just get in touch with what you're feeling, you know, emotionally, physically at the time. Think about sexy scenarios, and then you'll have a lot of material for your masturbation, bake. Another important thing about getting in the mood, sex toys for a lot of you all can be seen as the very sure thing. If you're not sure you're going to masturbate,

you're not going to get over flashlight for men. We like the woman eyes, we like the magic wand, and also deep breathing. I'm telling you it helps with everything. Breathing and lube. Lube and breath. Kill me now. It's all I need. Okay. So let's get onto some emails. All right. I love it. All right. Thank you everybody for emailing me. Feedback at section of the Emily.com. I love hearing from you and you know that now it's so easy. You just go to the website. You could ask us a question straight from the site. Just click on the ask Emily tab. Select, ask a question and then ask away. Also include your name or age where you're listening from and how you

listen. Love it. Hey Emily, I have a very interested story slash question for you. Just looking for your opinion or helpful info. Here we go. I have a married to my sexy wife for 8 years. We have been together for 10. We are very sexually active and adventurous. We love each other very much. She has a long time friend that brought up a possible force in between us and her husband.

Dr. Drew is my boy so I know what he would say, but I'm an Emily listener, too. So what Drew say? Drew would say don't do it, don't have a force, um, it's not great. Emily. The relationship. Emily's open to heroin, so I don't know what these people.

So I've had multiple conversations with my wife about boundaries and what we are okay with. What I gather is neither couple wants to do a swap, more like have sex in front of each other and enjoy the experience. Girl and girls cool, but don't want to turn into a show instead of a group thing. They've discussed, we've discussed,

and we were all discussed together before it happens if it happens. So, is there any questions that should be asked or do you have any advice? Sorry, so long, thanks. Fluffer Nutter. Fluffer Nutter. Fluffer Nutter. I love it.

All right. That's great. Start with that. So just call yourself Fluffer Nutter. They'll turn everyone on. OK, listen. I love this fluffy. Nice call you fluffy for sure.

You and your wife discussed personal boundaries. Great place to start. But with this type of group scenario, the main focus is on each couple's experience. So you've got to set boundaries there too within each couple, then it can be discussed as a group. So know your limits that you and your wife have like we don't want them watching this particular actor. I don't, you know, but there's no kissing or there's no, I don't know what it is. Cuddling. There's no touching below the belt. You make up your own rules. So if you enjoy a little backdoor play,

but only in private, you don't want your wife to slip you the, you know, pinky and the middle of sex with the partner with your best friend in the room, I totally get it. And then you mentioned girl and girl, are you comfortable with that? And really picture it like, how far are you comfortable with it going?

What would the guys be doing in the meantime? How close is the bed? You know, and discretion is also important since these are your friends You got to lay down some rules for the privacy of this bed because Anytime you miss sex and friendship or sex and anything there's gonna be a risk So if one person likes what they see they want to take it further You know, you're just gonna make sure that you're 100% comfortable So I think you're going about this right you just need a little more specific snail down with your partner and then talk about it with your friends.

But don't rush into it. Remember, there is no rush for this. It's great that you guys are thinking about ways to make things interesting, but you just want to make sure you're on solid ground. And again, if there's any little hint that that might be jealousy, Marmer, don't do it. Exactly. But if you think it's gonna be all good, then go for it.

Yeah, and I would just take a while to think about that. But yeah, I like that you are talking about. It sounds like you're on the right track, Fluffy. I think that's all we got time for. That's it, it's a wrap. It's a wrap, baby. It was so much fun. Happy Messerate, it's so much fun.

Happy Messerate's about month, ghosty a wrap, baby. It was so much fun. Happy Messerate. It was so much fun. Happy Messeration Month, Go see Menace and eat burgers with him and support a really good charity. Tomorrow, the 25th and the 28th. The 28th, yeah. Ones for animals and the other is for lymphoma research. So if you can come out, please do. If you can't, don't worry.

You're not going to hurt my feelings. Thanks, yeah, thanks for checking it out. And I'm Felimettis, everywhere at Menace. At Menace, yeah. Okay, and I love you all. Thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexofemely.com.

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