Sex With Emily - The Skinny (Confidential) on Sex

Episode Date: March 3, 2018

On today’s show, Emily is joined by Lauryn Evarts and Michael Bosstick from The Skinny Confidential: Him and Her podcast, and the trio are getting into how to keep things spicy in long-term relationships. They talk about the importance of prioritizing sex and keeping communication open and nonjudgemental with your partner, how learning each other’s love languages goes a long way in understanding each other, and why there continues to be shame around sex and masturbation when, hey, everyone’s doing it! Plus, Emily gives Lauryn and Michael some sex tips to take home and try out. Thanks for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: JO Jellies, Sportsheets, Womanizer, Magic Wand Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily on today's show, Lauren Everett's and Michael Bostic from the Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast are my guests, and we're getting into so many sex and relationship topics, including the multi-organic benefits of long-term couple-dom. Why sex practice should always trump your sports practice? How to keep date nights super hot, the sexy art of compromise, using the power of intimacy to quickly move past fights and never backing away from owning your pleasure. All this and more, thanks for listening. I'm a sexy. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a fight on me. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, what do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Ah, my god, I want to feel so grown. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com and check out our website, our blog posts, our videos,

and all the things that make sex with Emily, the podcast that you love. Also you guys join me on social media. It's a good time. It's at Sex with Emily on Instagram, Facebook, Snapchat, and Twitter. I always post as soon as an episode's live. I share behind the scenes of what's really happening at Sex with Emily. Get some snippets from my life and I'm contest that we're having. Speaking of which, March, we have a new contest for you. So, this month we're doing an O of March contest. You know those a-ha moments when you finally figured something out and everything just makes more sense?

I'm sure you've had a few of those in your sex and dating life as well, so what does that mean? I'll give you some examples. Maybe you finally found the spot in your clippers that makes you go crazy. Or you found the right words to tell your partner how you like to be touched. Or you discovered a brand new origin zone. Maybe you let your fingers do the walking and experience an explosive prostate orgasm.

You got it? O's and oh, moments are not just for women. So whatever it is, I want to hear your best one. Send it to feedback at sexwithemily.com by April 10th, and we're going to pick four people to win a super sexy prize that will definitely have you going, oh, all year long. Oh, oh, and speaking of oh, here's one of mine, there might be a private sex with Emily Facebook group coming soon. This is gonna be a safe place for you,

just like when you're listening to the show, for my community, and not only to get you the great sex with Emily content, but to support one another. So stay tuned on this and let me know what you think. Would you join my private group? You can tweet me, email me, I would love to hear from you. I'm so excited. I've learned efforts at a micro-bostic host of the Skinny Cop financial him and her podcast.

Yes. My mouth has strawberry wet head in it, so I help myself. I need to break. It lubricates the mouth. I'm going to give you a parting gift. It's not really a short one. And I love having you guys out because I had so much fun on your podcast. It's going to be confidential.

And I just love it. They're my had so much fun on your podcast, Skinny Confidential, and I just left them like, they're my new favorite couple. Like they must be, like you guys were just so open and real, and I love just everything that you're doing with your brand and skinny confidential when I first heard it. I mean, I think like skinny, like it's for dining, but not at all. It's like you're given the skinny, the 401 one on everything.

You got it, totally. Lifestyle, health, I mean, tell a little bit about it, people don't know, how would you explain it? Because it's so not. So our podcast is something we do together. So it's like a him and her version. I started the blog eight years ago. I was attending San Diego State

and I just felt like sororities were charging $800 for girls to be a part of it and I just thought it was ridiculous. And I was like, how can I connect all these women everywhere and be like this kind of like encyclopedia and they can connect and make friends and kind of create this community. So it's been something that I've worked on, like I said, every day for eight years. And about a year and a half ago, Michael and I were drunk in Cabo and she just, we were

having fun. Cabo is our place to go when we want to have a lot of fun. So we're having fun drinking and he said let's start a podcast and so many people wanted his opinion as well. So we just thought it would be a good platform to have super interesting people on discussing have you on and we talked about sex. We talked about a medley of things. Okay. So yeah, I mean, what you know, our life was on social, especially her life and what happens on there is you start to get a lot of questions,

but they're one-on-one questions, and you can only give the one-on-one response, right? Like if someone DMs you on Instagram, the response you give could be very valuable, but only that person sees it unless you share it with your friends. They're like, okay, how do we answer these questions on a scale that can reach more than just one person? And for how busy we get, I was like,

okay, I don't know if we have time to do videos, or it's something I talk show, but we can definitely sit down for an hour every week and answer questions. That's what it started as this Q&A. And so what were the questions you were asking at the beginning? Because you're business, right? Michael, you're entrepreneur. Entrepreneur. Entrepreneur. Yeah. And Lauren too, I mean, very impressive what you've done with your blog and your brand over the years. So coming together, power couple. Okay. So what were the questions they were asking you? It really ran the gauntlet, right? It was some of them were about marketing.

Some of them was like, how do you get your brand, your brand or blog off the ground? Some of it was relationships. Some of it was sex questions. Like, it really ran the spectrum. And I, you know, it's funny. When I give advice when starting a business or a brand, I say start very niche and targeted.

But with us, it was a little bit different, which kind of went against my own advice, which was really a spectrum of different questions and subjects based on whatever the listener at the time wanted to hear. I think I started my blog as a health and wellness blog, and I did that very strategically because I wanted to niche down on one thing.

And I knew that I would expand out slowly, but I wanted to do it at the right time. So I didn't introduce the characters in my life for a while. I was very, very methodical and thought out about how I was going to lay everything out. And I knew from the beginning when I was starting it that I wanted it to be a brand. So I didn't just go into it wanting it to be a blog. And I think now with the podcast, we've been able to tackle all these subjects that have we've slowly built outward with the blog on one platform, which is the podcast, and you get the him perspective,

and you get the her perspective. And I imagine our listener just in the bathroom doing their makeup and their boyfriend over here is it, and the girl manipulates her guy into listening to the podcast. Well, that's good. That's why they listen, right? However they get into it.

Because I think it is, it's really well done at appealing to everybody. Yeah, I think your podcast is the same way, by the way, like as a girl, you just put it on in front of your man and like give them some sex tips without giving them, you know what I mean? I know it's so true that I always say like, oh yeah, I think it's put on the car or they're on a road trip

because as we know, sex can be very challenging to talk about. So yeah, blame it on me. Play it on the podcast in the car, then you go home and you know, watch porn together because I said so cool, blame Emily. And you don't feel attached. Down with that, yes. You don't feel like you're a tax, like, oh, she said that and I over heard it,

or vice versa. And so it's not like somebody coming out she's saying, like, I'm now the expert here and you need to do this. I think, we talked about it on our show, that can be challenging in relationships if somebody comes in as like the expert and the other person feels.

Sleeve with sex, right. You want, and it's all about tone and timing and people can say things that just go so wrong and it's just the way the finesse around it. So how has your sex life been? Sipes, we talked about the compliment sandwich. I remember we talked about the compliment sandwich, which was amazing. It's been a big compliment yesterday morning. Yeah, he did. Yeah, he is getting better. I actually noticed that Michael does listen

when he hears things that he should be doing and he implements them. So I got to give him props. I we were just talking before this, but I'm not the best with getting off electronics in the bedroom. So I'm working on that because of you. Okay. I said no. Okay. No electronics in the bedroom. That's so hard for toys. Sex toys are cool. It's so hard for me. It is hard. So what is it hard because you want to be on your phone or he's one of there or the TV, what is it? Which electronic are we talking about? Definitely the phone.

Just because you know as when you're running a social media business, it's from the second you wake up to the second you go to bed seven days a week, no breaks. You're eating a sandwich thinking should I document it? I know. You're like, who really cares on my sandwich, but it let those tomatoes look good. I get it, it's a whole thing. Totally.

But when you get into bed, do you go to bed? I mean, I feel like I get that it's challenging. I do, and also it's your alarm clock and also what if you can't sleep at 3 a.m. And what did that post do? Well, people hate me, I don't know. Do they love me? What did I?

But it's just more like if you know that the benefits could be that That you actually there's no distraction in the bedroom with just the two of you and it's not the glow of your phone It's sort of like getting over any other habit or making creating a new habit and getting over an addiction is that you just You do leap Michael do you bring your phone in the bedroom? Actually, I used to but the last few so I'm an Arnold Schwarzenegger fan. I know some people have different opinions, but I appreciate his work. I think in just what he's done in his life. It's a pretty crazy life story. Yeah. And I always look for people and how they can, how they're

productive and what they've, what they've done to have success. And he's was talking about sleep on a podcast one. I can't think it was maybe Tim Barras'. That's good to say. Yeah. It might have been. And he basically said when he gets into bed, he looks at it as like he's there to sleep. Like that's his job and the reason that's important to get that sleep is because then he's more effective in every other area.

So I started thinking about it like that and then I incorporated the sex life stuff into it. I'm like, okay, this is gonna make my sex life better. It's going to make me rest better, which is gonna basically enhance the rest of my life. So now I sleep with the phone on a charger against a wall away from the bed. Like if I, if in this super annoying, when the alarm goes off in the morning, I basically have to get out of bed and run to the wall to turn it off, which also helps me get up. But now I don't have the option to

look at it in the bed. Yeah, I just don't have the option. How does that feel at first? It feels freeing to me, honestly. I started thinking about when we were kids. We didn't have it. It was, and now you're sleeping with this thing and looking out and you're connected 24-7. And I think there's something a little bit unhealthy about it. We hooked up for our first time when we were 12 years old.

Did we tell you this on our podcast? No, that was going to be one of my questions. No. So we didn't have a phone. We had a pager. So you pagered, you're like, come on over for, I love it. So you were, you met when we were 12.

Okay, where, how? We were literally in sixth grade and we met and everyone, we started dating when we were 12. Now this sounds really weird because we were 12 years old, but everyone thought he was dating his babysitter because I was like 57, because that's how tall I am now.

I had already grown and I had huge boobs. I thought she was a substitute teacher and he was like he was like two one. Okay, two five. I mean she came. You guys are so... We were in... But we haven't been dating that whole time so don't think that we're not one of those couples that have dated the whole time. That was just like he had.

He was my first B.J. She... Wow, that was the first date? No, not the first date, of course not. I didn't go it up that easy. We went to separate elementary schools until sixth grade. All of a sudden, I just see this tall, blonde, fully developed girl, which again, I thought was a teacher or somebody's sister.

It was so stunning. I can only imagine, look at you now, you're so certain. I can't imagine that when you were, I can't even. I had braces. It wasn't it. It wasn't a good thing. It was something from Michael.

Listen, Michael. Yeah. I mean, I didn't even see the braces. I just saw like a full lead devout. I was like, it was a lot different than the other six graders, you know? And so I just, at the time, I put it out of my mind. I was like, okay, well, that's there's no chance there.

And I don't know what, how did we even end up getting together? We ended up, so we were together for two years, from 12 to 14, I was like, okay, well, that's there no chance there. And I don't know, how did we even end up getting together? We ended up, so we were together for two years from 12 to 14, and then we broke up, and then we would sneak over to each other's house in high school, and we had other boyfriends and girlfriends, and hook up with each other. And we just always had a connection, sexually, and physically, whatever, emotionally. And then we went to separate colleges, and I just wasn't interested in all of them. And he continued to pursue me. We went to separate colleges and I just wasn't interested in all fence and He continued to pursue me like it's and he pursued me super super hard like it was very aggressive the way he pursued me

And we ended up back together and I think 22 years old and we've been together ever since It's amazing. You really don't hear that that story. So do you believe it is this? What do you think it is? Honestly, I'm gonna get sappy. So, yes, please. So, I've obviously been, I don't say obviously, but I've been with other women at like through high school and then all through college dated a lot, but I never, you went through the whole, the whole college. I think, God, though, right, but good, like, and then he still comes back to, right, I never, I never took any of those relationships very seriously, which got me in a lot of trouble with women

and looking back on the way that I was in relationships. It's not, I'm not proud of it. But I just never had the same connection and I don't know what it is, but in my life, I'm very gray until I get to a point of making decisions. When I make a decision, it's very black and white, either a yes or no. So I have a lot of really good friends

for the past, I don't know, 20 years, and my best friends are since sixth grade. And it's the same thing with Lauren, like when I knew that's what I wanted, I just, I knew that's what I wanted. And I don't know how to explain it in any other way than that. I attribute it to when a man gets told no,

he gets like super obsessed, and I told him no like eight million times. So that's college-headed fun. I was in college. I was in high school I was going for older guys. I was just like not interested He was like no offense a second thought right. I think that made like very much He was like how dare I be a second thought. Yeah, right and then you'd you guys you'd see each other and then afterward You this is it's been and you guys are in your you've been together like seven together for a million No, we've been together for like eight years now.

Okay. And we were engaged for four years. And it's just, it's like a beautiful story because also, it's also kind of an impossible story. Like I can't believe how you met, that you've been together, that you pursued, that you each persevered and did your own lives and then came back together.

And then now you work together and you're building an empire. And you guys still see how really happy. But it's really important, I think, and if anyone's out there and they're in a relationship for a long time, it's really important to keep it spicy. Yeah. How do you do that? Well, we keep it spicy, definitely with toys. Little porn. Yeah. Good.

But things really, nothing's off limits. I think we were like always open to try something once and then like communicate. Like we talked about communication Like we're very open with like what we want and there's no it's never like making each other feel bad in the bedroom I think we talked about where there's a lot of people in relationships that don't have that open line of communication and then they're not getting what they want and then When that happens they start to get resentful and then it comes out in negative ways or cheating So for us I just think it's like it's as simple as very much an open line of communication dialogue and- No judgment.

Prioritizing it, right? Yeah, I mean, we'll laugh at each other sometimes but, you know, it's- But you have, right. We're happy. How was it changed over time or evolved your sex life? Are there certain things that you're into maybe that you thought you were in or positions

or I don't know, you know, you think certain ways that you're gonna be like, oh, I can never have an orgasm on top, but now I can or I didn't like dirty talk and now I do, like is there anything that you're gonna go, I can never have an orgasm on top, but now I can, or I didn't like dirty talk, and now I do, like is there anything that you guys lately have been like, oh, wow, we are into this. I definitely think through Michael, I found out that I was multi orgasmic.

Is that what you call it? Yes. When you can have multiple orgasm on me. Yes, multi orgasmic. Yeah, that was something I definitely found out through Michael. So to all my ex-boyfriends who hopefully aren't listening, sorry.

But I think that comes down to getting comfortable with somebody. And this was another thing. It was always difficult. The one night stand is difficult. Yes. You go and we talked about on our show if you don't know what someone likes or what they want. And it's first time meeting someone,

and it's drinking, involved, and all this things. And it's a bad experience. But at this point, I mean, I don't know so many times we've had sex, but it's been a long time to figure out what we really like and what we really don't like. And so I think that's what makes it get better and better is like, it's like almost like going to practice, it's in a weird way, but it's like almost like going to practice

with somebody every day and refining and refining and providing it so it gets better and better and better. I think I've had a one night stand before in high school and I remember walking out of that. And actually, it's so weird, because I look back and I'm like, how did I have the foresight on this? I knew after that one night stand that for me, I didn't want to do it again,

because I like when someone knows my body. I think it's such a waste of time when you're drunk because I think your nervous system shuts down. It's very hard for me to orgasm when I'm drunk. So I was drunk and had this one night stand, and it just felt pointless. It was like, what was the point of that? Exactly.

I'm so glad that you knew that, because so many young women just don't, they just don't. They're like, I'm drunk, and so therefore my inhibitions went down, and I was able to have sex, but I just don't think it's as enjoyable for many women, and they can orgasm,

and you're right. Is that right, though? I always feel like I can't orgasm when I'm drunk. Yes, I think I actually just had this conversation last night. It was that with Fred and Sagan. If I had sober and she's drunk, I'm like. Yes, I think I actually just had this conversation last night with friends. If I'm sober and she's drunk, I'm like, dude, I don't know if we can do this right now. It just becomes like more of like a workout.

I was like, you know, what's going to happen? Is this going to, yeah. And I know it's not going to happen. And just keep going. I'm like, listen, I'm back here. I'm like dying. We want me to do it. I can't call the troops or the vibrators or whatever.

But now it is true for a lot of women and men think is that we want to feel safe with see you call on the troops or the vibrators or whatever. But now it is true for a lot of women and men, the thing is that we want to feel safe with the person that we're with. And we want enough, of course, when somebody knows our body, it just does get better and better, especially if you're healthy and you're working on intimacy because we're not, because what happens during one night's stand is we're drunk, we don't feel safe and we're thinking about like, just, are they going to judge us? And we're just not as comfortable.

So the truth is, yes, it's being comfortable being in your body and alcohol can thwart the orgasm for so many women. Hold on, what is the point? But then there's women who are like, are men who are think, yes, I was drunk and the sex was, I guess it's women who don't have orgasms as much or don't care as much about it.

They're like, at least I had this connection with someone or I had sex and what I don't understand is that there's so many women who can only have sex really drunk or a younger I guess it's not even comfortable. I mean sometimes you just don't feel comfortable and you get drunk and you feel like you can you can be comfortable. For me I've always found sex has a lot to do for me. I'm talking on my opinion with my mind-body connection. Absolutely. Like I think it's so much to do with that and I think that it's almost like a workout, right? Like you almost have to, when you're working out and you're doing like pure bar pilates and you want to put it in your abs, you have to really think to put it in your abs and you

have to be really present in it. I think sex is very much the same way. I've always been someone that I think it's not all about the guy for me. It's definitely a link about what position. I feel like I'm in control a lot of the time when I'm having sex like 75% because I do have that mind-body connection. So I think that's something wrong. Because you know where to move and what you want. Yeah, you've always been that way then.

Yes, I've always known about. So many women are not, I mean, how did you just, I just, I think I taught Pierre Bar the reason I bring that up is because they talk so much about mind-body connection. And I think I taught Pierre Bar the reason I bring that up is because they talk so much about mind-body connection and I think after teaching Pierre Bar I just realized how much your mind can tell your body and you can kind of feel what's right and what's wrong and what doesn't feel good. I have a way to move. Yeah, and so can you give whatever you're coupled with though, because I talk about it all the time with my mind-body, but can you actually break down what that's like in the moment? Like when you say that, when you guys are having sex,

is it that like what are you thinking, or what is it, or is it that you're not thinking, or that you're breathing into your pelvic floor, or what that means for you, because obviously we all have sex in different ways, but I'd love to hear more about it. I think it's just tapping into what feels good for you. Like I, you know, a lot of women like to be on top,

I like to be on top. I think for me, like I realize that if you put pillows under the guys back and kind of prop them up to a slanted level, that's going to be a better orgasm. You find little things like that. I call it refine, refine, refine. You just keep refining it until you find something that really works for you and you stay in tune with it. I think sometimes when women are having sex with men, they're so worried about the man.

And maybe I'm selfish like this, but I'm just, I'm also worried about myself. No, I think, first of all, you should be like the poster child for women, because I say this a lot, and I love hearing it from you, because I do think that women are socialized that way, still that it is about the man's pleasure.

And it's about, you know, in fact, there was like some study that said, like they've met and women are pull-taken, and women were like, good sex is when he's happy and satisfied. And they're like, when I was satisfied, like it's never like I gave her the orgasm. So the fact that you just intuitively knew that is something that I wish so many more women understood that, yes, his pleasure is really important. But you guys are going to be happy if she's happy. I've always been insecure with the thought that,

like I don't wanna, just I don't wanna be the only one getting pleasure, right? Like that's not a good, that's not a good, that's a weird transaction. Like I wouldn't wanna be doing anything, with anybody in any kind of transaction business or friendship or having sex or whatever it is, dinner, like you don't wanna be the only person

that's like having a great time while somebody else may not be, right? And that's, I don't think I've ever thought about it in that way with sex, but I think What's the word like deep like under underneath that's that's always been there So don't you don't want to be participated something where it's like you're the only one receiving pleasure And maybe I don't know what the reason that is my dad when I was little had a lot of girlfriends like a lot of girlfriends in and out in and out in and in and out, when my mom and him divorced, and I would watch all these women come in and out so quickly and he would not go through them,

but it was like a quick turnover. And so I think I saw that when I was little, and I was like, fuck that, I'm gonna change it to be about. I think I'm trying to think of why I've always thought that. Yeah, that's not the way that, yeah. I just felt like I just, I wanna be a little bit more selfish. I think that's kind of, as people have asked me this before on my blog, like why I feel like that.

I think it's just important for the woman to feel 50% of the pleasure. It's not just about the guy. And I think that when the woman's feeling pleasure, the guy's more turned on. It's so true, but that's not too would it for a lot of people, but it's absolutely the truth. Well, if you're out there, I think that you should put some pillows

under your guy to prop it up and refine and do what works for you and be selfish. You know what the worst is the truth. You don't know, like, hopefully you're with a partner, you could say, I'm not having orgasms or I'm not having pleasure, but let's even figure it out together. Totally. But it's so true. And for the woman, if you're on the bottom two, lifting it up with a, we're using like sex for the, like, liberator makes the pillow. What is any liberator? No, I've heard about this. It's a triangle pillow. It's a triangle. It's like a ramp.

They make a lot of furniture. The liberator ramp, the, it's like a triangle. But it, so it actually is uniquely qualified to kind of act as like a ramp. All I want for my birthday is a liberator. Yeah. I don't know. Let's maybe, we'll get this one on our own.

Yeah. Yeah. Does it come in pink? It might come in pink. It comes in black. I don't like it. Yeah, but it's, and the reason of it has, there's a liberator wedge with restraints on it too.

Even if you're into that kind of thing, but like, she's not, yeah, you can like, oh, it sounds fun. Yeah, it's really fun, but it really, you can have big one small ones. And for the pelvic floor, the women are on the bottom also raising your pelvic floor up. It's such a such a different angles. That's amazing.

So even if you're think it's the penis or you're blaming her anatomy, like you could just need a different position. Okay, so I want to know from you though, like what are tips that you would give someone that's in a relationship for as long as we've been in to spice it up? You gave us some on our podcast, but I feel like we just need to keep manipulating the conversation. You guys are so efficient that you already did it already.

I mean, but you know what? I know did it already. I don't know what. I will say going back to your original question about like, what's the difference? She's not ready for your notebook yet. No, I think I am. Going back to your original question, what's the difference? When we're kids, it's fun. You have no responsibility. So just like when you see each other, just fire, fire, fire.

Now we work together. There's a lot of different things going on. The stress builds up. And then it's almost one of those things where it's like, if you're not on top of it, fire, fire. Now, we work together, there's a lot of different things going on, the stress builds up, and then it's almost one of those things where it's like, if you're not on top of it, saying, hey, we both need to get on the same page and be sexual here, or have a date night, whatever it is, be intimate.

You can run into a trouble where like, maybe I'm working too much and then that she's being neglected or maybe she's working too much and I'm being neglected. And that, I think, is the hurdle. It's not that there's a lack of connection. It's that life starts to get in the way, and you have to figure Away, okay, how do we put that on hold per second?

So we need your tips on that or he needs your tips and how random that okay? Well, but the here's the thing is that well I talked about this in your show as well But prioritizing it but I feel like you guys are so in touch that you probably have that sense when it's been a little bit too long since you've had sex or connected Yeah, it's called a big fight right?? No I know this. I get stressed. You get stressed. Yeah you're like what's wrong with me? I'm like oh sex and they're like I love it. I'm like you're probably okay this is how my friends are. They've been dated and married for a long time. I'm like I hate him. I hate him. I hate him and I'm like in a day later I'm like how are things like oh my god amazing we've seen it have sex.

And a lot of couples don't aren't as in touch with that. Yeah. With their partners. Every time we have sex we look at each other and and be like, why don't we, like, the problems go away. Right, it's true. It's like magic. She looks at me and she's like, I don't know why you want to do that all the time. It's like, but you should. But it's one of those things, I mean, you know,

like stressful situations, then you forget or like you get just too wrapped up in or whatever, but it's important to circle back to it. So I think we're working on getting better at that. That's good. I don't know if you guys have your rest of me to spice it up. I don't know. I feel like you guys are doing a great job.

But some of the things we talked about is, you know, just, first of all, making time for it. So not letting it go too long when it's not happening. And also changing, one of my favorite easy things is, like, location, like changing up, like location, if you're always having in the bedroom, then you guys live with it. Let me have it in the living room. It sounds like you guys do this,

do you take trips enough, do you get away and get out of the bedroom? That does help trip. That's so fun when you say that. You never know what that means. I never thought that the best. Yes, the best. It makes such a difference,

because you're not home, you don't have your companies and your business all there in the same energy environment, you're like, out and it's new, and you can, you say like going to Cabo playing, having fun, like that's a great thing to do too. Have you ventured into any role playing? Kind of, I mean, like dress up? Yeah, like dress up,

because I'm sure dressing up is fun, and then just doing like the meeting out at, first of all, doing at home, or so if there's some kind of, I don't know, cheerleader or a school girl, I'm sure you just have sexy clothes. And you could talk about, I know your left. She had a nice little Valentine's number.

See? I did a very interesting Valentine's number. It was like this whole fish net get up. Was it a May M show? He was, he loved it. That's good. I'm sure it was epic. So you could do something like dressing up or playing the rules.

But what about even the sexy stranger? So you guys can make plans to meet out, just stick with me. You might even laugh at it, but it's in the moment, but it's fun. So like let's meet at our favorite place. You go a bar restaurant. We have a tons of places. We got to get obsessed at the same place. Right. Okay. Good. So you're going to go there and we're going to meet up at 7, 7, 38. But you are going to have pretend you never met and you're going to have separate names or you're going to have pretend you never met and you're going to have separate names or you can decide beforehand or after and you're going to go up and start flirting and create a different persona.

How do you meet? And it's really hot because you actually realize you could either make up stories or not, but that you're reconnecting again and seeing each other in a new way of how it would be when you were saying. Are you taking notes on this? Are you both in your reservation? I'm going to go along my stash and I'm going to show up with your cowboy hat. No, dress up. Where's it? She's like, no, he did have this

huge beard once and I told him I loved it because it felt like I was cheating on him. That's exactly what role playing is. It's like you're having a threesome. You're having sex or having sex with someone else. Is that how all the same person? It's really what? The threesome? No, that she was feeling like she was with someone else. Is that happening? Absolutely healthy. And that's why I'm telling you about role play and dressing up. Because what's missing when you're together a long time that you just can't, it's really hard is that you're missing spontaneity.

You're missing the variety and the newness. Like, nothing is new to you guys anymore. Maybe when you've tried it, you've been there, done that. So anything that you can do that would be like, oh, it felt like a different person, or sharing fantasies together, watching porn together, re-enacting something, it's something new and it's different. And then, and there's really no limit

to how you can expand your sex life and your experiences. It's just like getting creative, and you guys are really creative. Why do you think people aren't open to that? I think we're open to it, but I'm just wondering, what do you think? You guys really are. I mean, I think because sex is could be so,

it's so shameful and it's so scary. And I think that there's so many reasons. First, we might have great ideas of like, I'm at EpiWonnie new sexy stranger forever with my partner, but I'm so afraid he's gonna laugh, judge me, either blame me or blame himself for the eronatic sex life. It's just so fraught with judgment that we don't even know how to talk about it.

And so I also think that when couples start experiencing that sort of malaise that happens to every relationship after six months to two years, especially two years starts to happen, they just assume that it's broken, they don't love each other anymore, and they don't even know that no, sex is something you have to prioritize and focus on.

And so let's try something new, let's make an effort. I just think people don't even know that no sex is something you've to prioritize and focus on. So let's try something new. Let's make an effort. I just think people don't think that there's options and then they just decide that sex isn't that important. We'll get back to it. What's a healthy sex life to you when someone says, you know, how many days a week does someone need to be having sex?

There is no number. You know, it's so hard to talk about in hours because I hate people be like, well, we're not doing that. But I think that it's up to the couple to decide. So if you guys are like once a week and we're both happy and it's great, then then stick with that. But a lot of times there's the mismatch, libido thing or mismatch desires where let's say, like Lauren, you want it three times a week and Michael wants it one time a week. So then I would say, okay, so can we get another time in there? How would we do that? And then you guys would discuss like, okay, you know, we're so busy at night

and lower on me, you know, I'm always tired. And he's like, well, I'm, you know, go better early than on Saturday mornings. Like without fail, you get up early in the morning before you go off and do your thing. And you're going to make it happen. You're just going to prioritize that time that feels right to both of you. There's nothing about it. I think hangover sex in the morning. Hangover sex. Why is that? Because it gets rid of the hangover. It does. It really does get rid of the hangover. And you're horny when you're There's nothing about it. I think they say that and I don't, and I think that is true. Is it really true for me? I think you just feel like crappy when orgasm and orgasm and what doesn't orgasm help.

You never have an orgasm and feel worse, although men do sometimes. It depends what you were doing. Exactly. It's a little, yeah, it's a normal. Typically with your wife, those stories are getting control. Right. We don't have to hear those, but I think with your partner, when you've said, even with yourself masturbation, it always feels good. That's another thing that I'm so glad you came on my podcast and talked about was masturbation. I think that's something that I'm noticing. I have a group of women on Facebook. There's like 30,000 women in there. And it tells about it.

It's your private group. It's my private group, which if you don't have one, you have to start one and we all have to join. If you're thinking about it, yeah. I'll tell you, like, what do you want to do a project? She has to do it. Yeah, because then everyone can go to a comfortable safe space on the internet and I'll talk with each other

and ask each other questions. Because you and your moderators have to approve if ever comes in. So if there's anybody that's not supposed to be there, you can remove them. It's just people that are fans of your show. I would love to do that because we get so many questions and I would love to say anything.

I'm helping you start one after this. It's literally going to take five seconds. It's really incredible. We've been talking about it for a long time and I would love it. Okay, so tell me. So it's a community that I basically started. It's just for the skinny confidential readers

and they come in and we just talk about everything. I mean, we've talked about everything from people who've had miscarriages and talked about it. And the support is like amazing. We talk about sex, we talk about dating, we talk about everything from which ice roller to get to beauty products to everything. And I've noticed that when people talk about masturbation,

sometimes there's like a negative tone and it's should not be the type of... I want to hear what the negative tone is. Give me a reason. No one says anything actually mean, but it's almost shameful. And I loved what you said on our show that to be, and I don't want to say good at sex, but to feel that mind-body connection and sex, you almost need to masturbate.

Yeah, the men. I think with men, too. It's important. Well, that was a big thing. When you came on our show, a lot of women come in and say, my man's watching porn or they're masturbating, and they take it as like an attack on the relationship or make it about them. And I think a lot of people are like, wow, that was really helpful. Like it's okay for the guy to be like, it's healthy.

Yeah, absolutely. I mean, there's obviously the other end of the spectrum where you can get unhealthy, but the majority, it's a healthy practice, right? And so I think educating people and making them comfortable and letting them know this is natural, everybody's doing it, it's comfortable to do. But women, and when kind of, kind of know that, or they just do it anyway, but for women, you're right,

they're, what I wanna hear, what they're kind of, is it more like they're judging others from masturbating, or they're themselves in the group, like I'm just trying to get the, I think it was private. Yeah, no, if you want my real opinion, I think that sometimes if there's negativity about it and I'm not talking about my Facebook group,

I'm talking about my gender. Like your friends, right? I think that maybe it's a deflection. And maybe it's a curiosity that people are, you know, nervous or just not maybe educate, I don't know if I can do that. I think it's educated too. I think that women just, or they're like,

oh, it's gross or I don't need to. I hear that from women too. I don't need to. I'm having sex. Like, it's not a need. It's how you understand self care. Where are you said? It's self care.

Most of the time when you have a negative reaction to something, and this is anything in life, it's because there's something that you see in yourself that you don't like in whatever it is that you're judging. If you get, like the example, if you get angry with somebody that is maybe being lazy, it's like you're scared that you might do that, or if you're upset with somebody that maybe they're not masturbating, it's because you feel like you need to do it and you're not doing it and it's making.

So I just think like everything that you have that kind of like gut negative upset reaction to is there's some type of reflection of your, in your life that you maybe you're not addressing or you're not. That's true. Whatever like triggers you, it's sort of like a mere sometimes. Yes. I think what you're doing for women is you're really changing the conversation and making it comfortable and not judgmental and you're creating the space for all of us to just feel open with our sexuality.

I think men like to want, yeah. Yeah. Totally you're doing that. You're changing the narrative. And I think that's so important for women to feel comfortable, like men feel comfortable. I mean, I used to work in a bar when I was a blogger. I am a blogger, but I was blogging and working on my blog and working in a bar

and it was all men. And they would come into this bar and I would almost be like a picture frame on the wall because they would just talk how they talk in their own element without kind of recognizing I was there. And it was unbelievable to hear these men talk and not having them notice a woman was around. And I think women are allowed to have some of the same conversations like and not be looked at in a bad way. Oh yeah.

And you're absolutely right. I do this. I was in Ohio this weekend with a bunch of girlfriends and I'm so used to it, but we were talking about God, what was it? Like there's kids behind us. Oh, she was like, so tell me about that cocky, Gimli. Like is it gonna help my guy stay harder?

I'm like, yeah, well here's a thing because he puts it on and the blood flow and then it overstricts it and it can actually have the last longer and then the vibrations feel great and you're clearest. And there's like eight of us sitting around having wine. But like next to us, there was a table of other people that were just silent. And one of the women in the group I did, it was like, they're listening.

I'm like, so it's fine. Like it's not children. And they're quiet because they probably want to hear about cock rings because no one really gets to work with them. I know. I was just going to ask you, like, what's one should I get? Oh, the pivot. Have I said, what did I bring you guys?

You brought us so many good goodies. You brought us, you brought us, we bought it. We love that. You brought us a candle that you melt wax. Yes. Yes. You got down a candle probably. You got to ask another one.

Yeah. And then we're using your wet head strawberry juicy apple spray to get it to the product. Yeah, to keep our mouths looped up for the podcast so we don't have dry mouth. I love it. We have no dry mouths in here anymore. You're so funny No, but you're right It is a convert men can sit and talk about it, but women don't so I do obviously I do without my friends

I mean people are comfortable usually it is a reaction because they've never heard anyone else talk about it But we're also we're gonna go and do it especially if our friends in many cases are gonna be judgmental I have a few questions for their quick questions. I call these my quickie questions. Did I ask all of my guests? And then I'm going to have you guys help me answer a few questions for listeners. So you have to answer quickly. Okay, my quickie.

My quickie. Ready? And then you're going to. Okay, biggest turn on. Biggest turn on. You have to go quick. Quick. Rapid fire.

There's a perfume that she wears. And if I smell it, I'm like a bull in heat. And I don't know what it is, but it's like once in a while a bull and he put it a good way and it's like right under And it's like this the right under the ear here. I smell it. I'm like, okay. Oh, that's good tip I'm making out. Yeah, he's making out. He gets a little lazy at it Well, we talked about this on your show. Yeah, well, yeah, my mom's making out. I'm, Valentine's, that was pretty good. I was working, I'm working on it, okay? I'm up, I'm working, I'm, you know.

Maybe some blow-jup spray, yeah. Just, not, not way, but like it gives you a taste and I'm, okay, biggest turn off. Um, biggest turn off, bad smells. I like hygiene, right? And I'm not, I'm not one of those guys like you need to jump in the shower,

but like, you know, like, let's take care of yourself a little bit. Biggest turn off with him or just enjoy. I guess it's general. Oh, in general. When someone comes too close to me, I don't want them to come close to me. Yeah. Bad breath.

We're big on tongue scraping right now. Michael, this is quickie. Oh, tongue scraping. Yeah, that works. Yeah. You do the thing everywhere. Okay, let's see, there's so much. Okay, um, sexy is part of your partner's body.

You guys can't just do it. Oh, you want me to go first? body. You guys can't just go. Oh, you want me to go first? I like this area right here in her hips, which is bent over. It's good. What area is that? It's the hips, the hips. I like the, I can see everything for sure. Yes.

She has the best ass I've ever seen. I'm not even joking. It's, I've never seen anything like it. Wow. Yeah, it's great. That's awesome. You'll have to show everyone later. I'll have, yeah, I'll give a demonstration.

I'll do an Instagram. Please, yeah, we're going to do a story after. I think that's good. Those are my questions. Now we're going to give a quick shout out to our sponsors. Thanks for supporting them and we get back. Lauren's going to be telling you exactly how you can send me a question into the show. Okay, so now we're on to emails.

Have a question you'd like to ask me to answer on the show. I'd love that. Use the option that's easiest for you guys. Text Ask Emily, all one word that's Ask Emily, to 7979. You'll receive a short form where you can enter your question and contact details. If you'd like me to call you during a future call or show, please indicate yes on the form. How fun? Talking to you guys about your question is one of my most favorite things to do. You can also submit a question from sexwithemily.com website via the Ask Emily tab. Super easy, that's sexwithemily.com via the Ask Emily

tab. As always, I love it when you include information that will help me help you. Your gender, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. That's it. Thank you guys, and I can't wait to hear from you. Thank you, Lauren. That was so well done.

Okay, ready for some emails here. This is from John 21 in Ohio. Hi, Emily, I try to keep my relationship with my girlfriend exciting. I've introduced toys and I try to be spontaneous, but I feel like I always have to initiate sex. Even when she initiates, I still have to do all the work. As much as I love seeing her turned on, she hardly ever engages in foreplay. I do my best to warm her up when she's ready, she wants to get right to it.

I feel like sex is a chore for her. As if she can't wait to get started so she can get over with. How do I get my girlfriend to be more open to 4Play have longer pre-sex sessions and hopefully enjoy it? Well, John, that's amazing that you're a man and you like 4Play. Wait, let's say that. Let's just clap for John. Yeah, John and Ohio, there's a line out the door for you. Wait, let's just say that. Let's just clap for God. Yeah, John and Ohio, there's a line up the door for you. Exactly. So right, because often we hear that women are like,

why aren't I getting in for a play, why aren't I getting it? I think that you should have an honest conversation with her and just tell her upfront and communicate. I think that sometimes men have trouble communicating. So if you sit her down and you tell her that that's the first step, maybe you have a glass of wine before so you're Loosened up and I think that from there if she doesn't start doing it the way you want to do it Maybe you need to take a little bit more action. Maybe I don't know spice it up with like what you were saying

Yeah, what did you call it sexy sexy stranger sexy stranger try doing that that makes her get out of bed And not really right you said you she he said he does toys. Well, yeah, here's the thing though. I'm just curious She does toys and he does I'm spontaneous sex, but he's 21. I don't know how old she is So I'm just wondering maybe she's on our 20s and the thing is think about in your okay Lauren You're an exception because you like have had amazing sex and you've known all these things I still that I'm teaching women but a lot of she might not have as much experience She might not even know what makes her feel good yet like she might never masturbate it

She might not be able to explain it so she doesn't even know how to initiate it How do you teach someone to masturbate like what is what is tips that you would give someone? I would I honestly I would mean there's some I talk about all the time But for women they just need, just need to do it. Like, take some time alone in your bedroom, you know, turn around, well, lock the door a few roommates and just start touching, watch porn, read a rottka, get yourself in the mood and don't, and masturbate without the goal of orgasm. So she still hasn't even orgasmed yet. Or she better think, I don't know, just use your fingers. Like, how does it feel Just use your fingers. How does it feel to touch your nipples?

How does it feel to run your hands over your body? I mean, just start. I just started to begin our stuff on my... I'm gonna put that on my Google Calendar next Wednesday, masturbate in red, because I can make some time and create some self-care for my body. So it's masturbation is a huge self-care.

I want to help you guys to, you're like looking at, I feel like, oh my god, what do you think it about, what do you think it about, oh I know I'm gonna guys to, you know, you're like looking at, I feel like, Michael, what are you thinking about John? Oh, I know, I want to give you a four-year leave just by setting up. I was also thinking maybe, you know, if they're that young, and I don't know how young she is, but I'm thinking about myself as a young man. Maybe you have to have a conversation. It's like what she's liking or disliking, maybe in this case about the four-play. And you have to, you have to be honest with yourself, like don't let it be an attack. John, John, right? On the ego, maybe she's not like,

she's not like, in the way you're touching her or the way you're doing the foreplay. So have that conversation like, what do you like about this and what do you dislike about this? Who's maybe? Maybe she's avoiding it because she doesn't like the act itself and you need to refine it. Right, I think that's great,

because I feel like she, a lot of people like foreplay. If they do it in a right. A lot of foreplay, huge fan play. I mean, foreplay. Who doesn't like fore for play like for play guys are lazy. They just roll you over and want to stick it in some stuff happens Dick in the back. We got to in the back. I don't want you I think we probably all been victim of bad for play and in that case you want to get away from it So maybe this is what's occurring here. I don't know. I understand you're saying that maybe he's just like Who knows? Jack Cameron right away with his finger, I don't know what.

Maybe he needs to clean his fingernails. I had this friend that needed to clean his fingernails so bad. There was, I didn't know what to do. I was like, he was dating my friend and I was like, you got to clean those talent. Good. No, it's so true that actually wash your hands too. Like when you're dating and you hear a guy go to the bathroom

and he comes out and you're like, where was the washing of the hands? I don't touch me now. Like it has to happen. Right. Maybe Johnny just needs to tidy up there, wash the hands, change the sheets, or just have a talk about it. I think that it's so scary to talk about sex. Especially at that age. Okay, one more. This is from Erica 29 Massachusetts. Hi, Emily. My wife and I have great sex. We're always looking to improve. But I think we're both happy. There is one thing that bothers me. My wife doesn't know how beautiful and sexy she is.

She is a 10 and everyone but her knows it. She's not fishing for compliments. She just has a low view of herself that may have formed from past relationships. What's a good way to get her to understand that she's the sexiest thing I've ever seen? Okay, the first step is you literally need to take a picture of what you just wrote and leave it on her bed pillow.

Because that right there is showing that he's going behind her back out of her way, that he thinks that she's like the world. So she needs to see that. Okay. I think that he should take a picture of what he wrote and show that he wrote into sex with Emily and show her that he did that.

Or play her, yeah, play this for her too. but that's true, but she already, I think that's a great, like, to show that how much she cares, to how much she still doesn't hear it. I think that that's something that it's going to be hard for him to try to fix. I think that's something that she needs to, it needs to start with her. It's like the masturbation thing, self-care. It's like she needs to start from the inside with her. Inside job, definitely. Yeah. And all of the sudden, you. Inside job, confidence is, it's actually like,

I mean, I love, I think I talked about this in your show as well, the compliments. I love the, tell me, I mean, I also happen to feel good about myself. We all have high and low days, but for women who just don't feel it no matter what, it really is like an inside job. Like she's gonna have to practice her own self love.

Maybe it's therapy, self sabotage, negative thoughts that are not allowing her to feel her best self. Can I play devil's advocate though? Yes, please. That's why you're here. You know, like, and I have some friends that I have in mind, some guy friends, where they're constantly complimenting,

and it's like they're doing it because they want something, and it's like, and then all of a sudden the compliment feels ingenuant. It's like, oh, you don't talk about. Like, you're so pretty, you look so hot. It's like, can we get more original? What do you think of my new shoes? Yeah, it's too many compliments, start to feel like, in the opposite of the compliment feels in genuine, it's like, oh, you don't talk about it. Like, you're so pretty, you look so hot. It's like, can we get more original? What do you think of my new shoes? Yeah, it's too many compliments.

Start to feel like, okay, you're saying this to make me feel better. So now I feel worse. No, I never think there's too many compliments. See, I'm the same way as you. Yeah. So I agree. I agree.

Yeah, every single second. Like, I want it all the time, and but some women don't. So for me, my, like like love language, I know it's like words of affirmation, physical touch. Do you guys know your love languages? Yes. Okay. You know, it's physical touch. What's my name? Words of affirmation maybe or no? Maybe we're out. Maybe I'll take both. You can do one or two usually. Okay, so I'll take two. We're a collaboration. Yeah, do you know what yours are? I know it's not. No, it's the one that no one else has had. What are all four of them?

It's quality time, acts of service, gifts, words of affirmation, physical time. You're just service and quality time. Yeah, that's time. I don't want gifts and I don't want anywhere. That's tough. Every holiday you want is a card. I'm like, jeez. I did like a card.

I did like a card. Yeah did like a card. I did like a card. Yeah. It's president's name. I do. Where's my card? No, no, no, no. I don't know. I don't need the card.

Can I just tell you and tell you your heart? No, that's what she wants. Yeah, I don't need the words of affirmation. I don't know why. No, that's because it's how you, it's probably how you. Like I was old, we grew up and it was like, obviously I grew up fine and I got compliments or everything, but it was one of those things, not like you can do better, but it was one

of the things like, you're doing a good, it was, I didn't need someone to be good. You're doing okay. It was like good, not expected, but it was not surprised. Okay, so maybe he needs to reevaluate her love language because maybe he's over-complimenting. That's what I'm saying. Wait, that's okay, you're saying it. Not so elegantly. Right, no, you did. I get it.

I get what you're saying here, but I feel like, and you're right. There's some people. It wasn't love languages, not affirmation. Something isn't being met, but also he's, um, she's just feeling really insecure, and she's, I think it's probably spilling over into other areas of her life,

because when women don't feel great about themselves, they don't, you know, she might not want to have sex or she might not want to go out. It might be like a depression, or who knows what's going on. I've heard this scenario a lot where women just aren't feeling great. I feel like that's what it is an inside job. But the thing you're saying about compliments,

there is this belief because I men as who still is my co-host on the show sometimes, he thought the same thing. He's like, women are going to know or it sounds super cliche to keep saying you're so pretty. You're so pretty. And some women might experience that way, but for a lot of women or whatever the compliment is, it nourishes us, it feels like love.

Like it is love. I imagine you're gonna imagine me like a cell phone battery. I'm at 1% every morning. Yep. Every compliment takes me a number up. So I need 100 compliments today to get fully charged. One more devil's advocate. What if?

He's trying to get up. What if? You're so cute. Your love language, both your love language, is words of affirmation, right? Let's just say that that's the example we're using. And so you project that onto your partner and you want to give compliments

because that's the way you can be. That's what happens, right? So Lauren public gives you compliments all day long and you're like, I know, I'm a star. I know my ass is great. But when, just the two of us going dinner, and you're going to leave your cell phone at home. Where in my cart?

The devil's advocate thing here is, what if your love language is not words of affirmation? So you're never getting the other thing that you need. So it might be what he might need to do is figure out what her love language is and then meet that need. Right, exactly. Yeah, that's true.

There could be, well, I think love languages are helpful for always in a couple. I appreciate the compliments, but I'm saying it doesn't like move the needle so much. I'm like, oh my God, I'm so like fulfilled. Right. Right. Oh, I totally got it.

I got it. I just, I think this is more about confidence, but the love language thing is really interesting because if you don't share the same one as your partner, yeah, you'll keep giving it all day long and it's not gonna land. She wrote me this book on Valentine's Day. Oh, so it was a card slash book And I read the whole fucking thing

Yeah, no, I gave him a book and it made me super happy Like I was almost tiered up almost tiered up of all these all things good about him And you just not good just like things that are like good about what you love about it. Yeah, what we love about each other That was that meant more to me than like hey, you look greater. You're like, you know, you're good for you like that Did you have a card with a book or the book was the card? I mean, it's amazing. You just seem for Christmas, I got him a card that was literally 50 feet tall.

See you, Liz? I'm sorry. But I go to, but you guys, this is the convert. You guys are a really good example of a couple who listens. And she's telling you a compliment thing and it's not gonna sound cheesy to her if you do it every day. Did we answer his question?

I know, I'm worried about it. I want to make sure we answer this question. I'm just like, you and I'm going back to it. What's a good way to get her under 10? She's the sexiest thing I've seen. I mean, I feel like if you're just telling her that she's hot and she's beautiful, there might be other ways where her self-esteem is suffering and now. So maybe she's having a hard time at work or maybe she's challenger if she's, you know,

an artist and her paintings aren't telling, like there could be other things going on. So I think just having a baseline conversation with her about where she's at in her life and where she might need your support, it might not just be around her looks. When you said communication, you said that on her phone.

Communication is a lubrication. Just find out a little bit more. And you guys are having great sex, so that's awesome, Eric. So just keep talking to her. And you could show her this and say, I'm not sure what to do. What do you think? So how could I help you get this message across? Lauren and Michael, the skinny confidential him and her podcast

and so many other things going on with your lives. They could check it all out. What's the best? We'll pull it all and then show notes. But I'm just not the skinny confidential on Instagram and our podcast is on iTunes. Yep, the skinny confidential him and her podcast and then yeah, I'm Michael Bostic. That's just...

You guys are so fun. You guys are doing such great work and thank you for coming in today. Thank you for having us. Thank you for having us. Thanks, so fun. Okay, you guys, thank you for listening. I hope you enjoyed it and thank you again for subscribing and for listening to the show. I love hearing your comments, reviewing the shows

really helpful too when you subscribe in iTunes. And thanks to my amazing team, Ken, Jamie, our volunteers Shannon and Jenny producer, Lark, Michael, and Sybil. Was it good for you? Text Ask Emily to 7979. and seven nights.