Sex With Emily - The Truth About the G-Spot: What Every Woman Should Know

Episode Date: May 1, 2025

This episode of Sex with Emily dives deep into female anatomy and pleasure, debunking myths surrounding the G-spot and female ejaculation.  Experts discuss the G-spot as the female prostate, clarifying its location, function, and how to locate it through self-exploration using a mirror and gentle touch.  The conversation highlights the importance of slow, mindful stimulation to activate the vagus nerve, leading to powerful, full-body orgasms and potentially ejaculation.  The episode challenges the fast-paced approach to sex prevalent in Western culture and emphasizes the significance of relaxation, awareness, and communication for achieving intense pleasure and overcoming common obstacles like fear of urination and performance anxiety.  Listeners learn practical techniques for G-spot stimulation, both solo and with a partner, and gain a deeper understanding of female anatomy and the potential for profound sexual experiences.  The episode also addresses misconceptions about female ejaculate, its composition, and cleanup.  The speakers emphasize the importance of respecting women's bodies and avoiding male-driven pressure. 00:00:00 - Female Ejaculation: Myths & Facts 03:23 - G-Spot: Anatomy, Myths & Orgasms 13:16 - Discovering Your G-Spot 16:35 - G-Spot Stimulation Techniques 20:38 - Rediscovering Female Anatomy 28:33 - Exploring the G-Spot 34:47 - Mindful Sex for Orgasm 43:09 - Female Orgasm & Empowerment 48:30 - Powerful Orgasms & Healing 56:00 - Sex Tips & Contact Info Join the SmartSX Membership : https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ  (free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ Let’s get social:  Instagram https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X https://twitter.com/sexwithemily Facebook https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily TikTok https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily   Let’s text: Sign up here https://sexwithemily.com/text  https://sexwithemily.com/myths-surroundin…male-ejaculation/

Women have to know they have a prostate. I mean, we have a missing body part. All the studies done on, oh, women can orgasm, and it takes us longer, and you need 20 minutes of foreplay. This is the news. When you relax and you just touch the prostate, it fires up like this, your arousal. Our arousal is accessible.

It's immediate and it's powerful. Real talk. What actually is squirting? How does it happen? Is it pee? Is it a myth? Is it a superpower? And is it something you can learn

or are some people just born lucky? Well, if you've ever been curious about squirting or maybe you've had it happen and thought, wait, what was that? This episode is for you. And today I'm breaking it all down with facts, tips, and yes, a little firsthand experience. I'm also sharing highlights from my combo with legendary sex educator, Deborah Sundal, who's basically the Beyonce of G-spot education. We'll talk about what squirting really is, hint,

sound of mystery, it's anatomy, the difference between clitoral and G-spot orgasms, how vulva owners actually do have a prostate, and why with practice and the right kind of stimulation every vul Volvo owner can learn to squirt, if they want to. I'll also be answering your questions like how to start exploring the best positions and how to ask for exactly what you want in bed without feeling awkward. But before we dive in, let's take a sec to set an intention.

What do you wanna get out of this episode? More confidence, more knowledge, a new adventure and pleasure? Well, my intention is to demystify squirting to help you feel empowered, informed, and maybe even a little excited to explore it for yourself. You ready? Let's get into it.

Let's talk about what are the biggest misconceptions around female ejaculation. Like you said, there's so much confusion around it. I can tell you, we have a bunch of questions that have come in to people want to know if it's urine. Can every woman ejaculate? You know, why, why can't I? Is it real? You know, just all the things. So all women can ejaculate because the G-spot is the female prostate. And female ejaculation is prostatic fluid.

And all women have a prostate, just like all men do. It's fully functional, just like the male prostate. As a feminist, we're very used to hearing, you know, about diminished women's experiences. Well, this is a classic case. Yeah, it is a classic case of this. So let's talk about, let's first start with the G-spot because in reading about your in-person seminars that you do, in-person workshops, you actually sit with women in a room and you introduce them to their g-spot and you teach them how to ejaculate and

I think that even the fact that you've been doing this for 30 years I've tell you some news that it women unless they've taken your workshop or they've done their own research they still don't know how to find their g-spot they still don't know I mean I'd love to say that it's changed I don't know how to find their G-spot. They still don't know. I mean, I'd love to say that it's changed. I don't know what the numbers were then, but I still think it's really, really confusing. I even call it the G area because I think when you say spot, people are like, oh, it's this one spot. So how would you describe how to find the G-spot?

G-spot is an unfortunate name. It was named after the famous book, The G-spot by Whipple and Perry, sexologists and scientists. G-spot is named after Grafenberg, the urologist from the 30s who knew about female ejaculation. We knew about the female prostate, but his work was ostracized. And so in academic tradition, Whipple and Perry built on his work and therefore named him on that cover of that book. Fortunately, G also stands for goddesspot. Oh, goddesspot is so much better. Yeah, totally.

I like goddesspot. Yeah, yeah. That is it. So people, I think there is all this confusion about you. Well, let's talk about the clitoral orgasm versus the G-spot orgasm. How would you describe them? Well, first of all, G-spot is the female prostate. The female prostate surrounds the urethral canal. It starts at the outside opening of the body and its 32 ducts and glands are sprinkled along the urethral canal about 2 inches. So therefore, because the urethral canal and

the vaginal canal share the same wall, that means you can easily access the prostate through the roof of the vagina. You can easily feel it. It literally hangs down through the roof of the vagina. It's a prostate. It's not the clitoris. The clitoris is primarily erectile tissue. We have the little nub on the outside of the body full of nerves. But as feminist healthcare nurses, Rebecca Shocker and Susan Gage in 1982 redefined the clitoris.

They said, hey, it's not just the little nub on the outside of the body that feels so good. It's actually erectile tissue that extends four to five inches inside the body. They thought these women were nuts for 15 years. Well, now they've seen this structure in the cadaver. Right. Yes. There's little puppets you can buy. Little women have made the clitoris. I have the vulva puppet.

So you have the vulva puppet and this is Cliddy. I like the Cliddy puppet. I don't have a clitoris puppet. Well, one of those. Well, a lady in Italy made this for me. They don't have many puppets like the vulva puppet. But yeah, here's her little, you you know and here's her wings and her bulb she has these parts a part that surrounds the urethra and a part that surrounds the vagina

yeah so the g-spot is actually the female prostate plus its erectile tissue i would say the g-spot yeah exactly okay yeah is it kind of like internal clitoral nerves then or would you just say even before that it's a prostate but I always tell people it's it's all really it's all connected I guess is what I'm saying. It's all connected you see the clitoris has a different nerve than the G spot and again we get this from Whipple and Perry that was one of the one of two major discoveries they made and why they wrote a book. Okay, two nerve theory. The pedendal nerve goes to the clitoris penis. The vagus nerve, the pelvic branch of the vagus nerve goes to the prostate, male and female. Two different nerves, two different orgasmic

experiences. So you want me to go into how they're different? Yes. Okay. We all know the clitoral penis orgasm. Panting, fast stimulation, whether it's for a guy on the penis or for the vibrator with the women, and hold your breath and you have, you know, a good orgasm. You clench up your body and hold your breath. And sure, it's a good orgasm. G spot prostate orgasms, okay, are the opposite. Long slow breaths because we're dealing with the vagus nerve, okay, which I'll explain in a minute. This long and slow breathing.

You relax instead of clenching. Do not vibrate the prostate, it is an organ of the body. And if you vibrate it, you kind of click in that pudendal nerve and so it's not so easy to access that G-spot nerve if you're vibrating away. So also you move the body, okay, because you're building this huge orgasm, which is full bodied, starts in your toes, spreads up your legs, makes your legs shake. I mean, it comes out your head. You can see stars. It's a powerful physical orgasm. It's not your bliss orgasm, where, you know, if you're in Tantra or Eastern traditions,

you're doing the circulating breath, which is mostly from the pelvis up, from the stomach up, okay? And you can kind of ride this wave of energy orgasm. No, I'm talking as a feminist body as a woman thighs, right? Birthing down into the floor, right? We ejaculate down and into the ground You know we menstruate saying, you know thighs think African dance very physical full-body orgasm so you need to breathe and build that. That's amazing. Oh my god. It does sound good and do you think that so where do we start with that?

You know where I start with that? I start with anatomy. My power points are anatomy. Women have to know they have a prostate. I mean, we have a missing body part. All the studies done on, oh, women can orgasm and it takes us longer and you need 20 minutes of foreplay. This is the news. When you relax and you just touch the prostate, it fires up like this, your arousal. Our arousal is accessible.

It's immediate and it's powerful. We just have not known, we have a prostate and we haven't known how to touch her. In reading your book, and I have not taken your workshop, but you talk about this workshop where the women take a mirror, because I'm always telling them just to take a look at their vulva, but I don't often talk about this workshop where the women take a mirror because I'm always telling them just take a look at their Volvo but I

don't often talk about them going inside but how you you push out your pelvic floor and you can see the ridges of your g-spot. Yes and all women who are listening to this you can do this this is your homework now. They tell us. Is you sit down on the floor you need a mirror not not your little lipstick mirror ladies. Okay, nice big eight-inch mirror. Prop it up on a stand or lay it against a pillow, which you place as you sit on the floor between your legs. Then two fingers on each hand. Place them gently, one on each labia, slowly spread your labia apart, push out with your pelvic floor muscles, and see if you can see the ridges, the famous ridges of your G spot.

Literally, some women just do that and they're like, oh, there it is. And they're completely shocked. Some have said, I thought that was a prolapse. It's like, no, it's not. Okay, this is alarming, I know, but it does happen. Maybe we'll get into that later, maybe we won't. But you know, but other women, they're gonna have to practice this three, five times,

you know, take a break, try it again. Because number one, for many women, well, they've never did this before. Some women never even looked at their evolve of before. And then some women haven't really used their pelvic floor muscles to push out like that. So right away you have three things you've never done before. You just practice ladies, that's all. Keep at it. And some women have more meaty or smaller labia and so it's a little

harder to pull apart or it's a little you have to peer a little deeper in. If they're more meaty, all you have to do, you can see it, is push out. Look for that urethral canal because remember the prostate surrounds the urethral canal. It's right there at the outside of the body. From the outside, just two inches in so look for that urethra and then when you push you're gonna see her peek out from underneath the urethra you'll start to see her little ridges mmm yeah see your little ridges and then then what do you do there you see it come out I think

everyone else that's all that's all you just want to see it come out. I think everyone has to do that. That's all. That's all. You just want to see it. Okay. First step is they said it don't exist. Well guess what? You just saw it. It's the prostate. Okay. So suddenly you're changed. We're talking about confidence. We're talking about, yes I know where my G-spot is. I've seen it. And now the second thing is they locate it. And I take them through a simple 10 minute exercise.

I take them through like a meditation practice to slowly identify the head, the body and back of the prostate with their finger. I'm like you saw it now with your eye. Now, slowly go around the meaty area that surrounds the urethral canal. Has a Latin name, urethromaeatus. Put your finger very slow, very tender. Everybody wants to rub it and go really fast. It's like, guess what? Millimeter by millimeter, ever so slow.

Well, everything changes when you do that. And from the urethra, then you go with your finger slowly down to the vaginal opening. That's all the prostate under that tissue there. So it's just at the opening and just two inches in. What is that? That's the first knuckle. Yeah.

That's a knuckle and a half. Yeah. Right? We're going way in there and pounding away at her. Like, no! This is what I've been saying for years. They're pounding, pounding. It's not deep inside. It's out of the belly button.

It is an inch and a half to two inches inside. And I think people are still even going in. They don't get what that is to knuckle up to your knuckle. And when I discovered mine, I was like, oh, it's just right. It's literally like, it's that why we always do that come Heather motion is because it's like going towards your belly button. It's like that little, you just feel it. It's belly button. It's like that little,

you just feel it. It's right there. It's like on the flip side of your clitoris. Yes, it's right there. We thought it was this tiny spot that somewhere in the deep oceanic recesses of the vagina was a spot. And some women had it and some women didn't. And only the right man will come along and find it for us and blast us off the planet. You know, it's just a total myth. It is a total myth. Oh, we got to find it first. You're like, oh, we got to teach sex ed. When women come to me first, they go, how do I be a great lover? I'm like, first you got to do the work on yourself. When you become a

master of your own body and your own domain, then you can share that with a partner. Or you can find a partner with Billy. And I love it in your book, Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. Not your mother's orgasm book, it says. Is that you could do it with a partner. Like there are tips in here how to do with a partner, but if you don't have a partner, your partner's not in, I think it's less pressure perhaps. It's on your own. So now we're inside and we've seen it peek out and you're just saying we touch it with a finger and then the orgasm you're saying should be quicker

than the, like just, okay, show me. Yeah, that's exactly it, mine's right there. This is where mine, like I found mine's like right here, like right there, like right there. Exactly. Right? Well, you're behind it right there, like right there. Exactly. Right? Well, you're behind it right now. You're on the back.

Right. So come forward. Oh. Come forward a little. Come forward. Come forward with your finger, a little tiny more. There's the body of the G spot. Right.

Now come out and go to the urethra. Come out and go to the urethra. Okay and go to the urethra okay that's the head of the G-spot right okay around the urethral canal starts at the outside opening of the body so right there the head is the prostate is under those tissues there right around the urethra. Yeah this is good because we can actually we could probably use this video so I've heard us talking and that okay so so this is this is what we're talking about this is the this is the clitoral hood but we're saying right here the urethra so this they're saying right here. You can press gently on the urethra that can feel very good for some women.

Okay right here this is around with the G so it's okay. And then it's all connected. So keep your finger on it. Don't, but just go now slowly inside the vagina. Okay. Right. No, no, no, no, stay connected to the prostate. Oh, right there. On the head and now come just inside the vagina. So here's the head where you are. Now don't lift your finger up. Just slide and now we start to enter the vaginal canals. This is all connected here. See? Yes. See? So when you were in there this far, you're at the back end. Right. So this organ hangs down through the roof of the vagina. So what's the back? The back is the back of a ball.

Yeah, right here then, behind it is what you're saying. That's the behind. Okay. The back. But this is all prostate and it can all be ultra sensitive. Want to do it again? Yes I want to do it again. Okay so let's start over because of this we might use this part of the video. Maybe I can do Cliddy. I'll do Cliddy. Okay Cliddy's vagina is a little big but it's okay. Okay so we're talking about this is the clitoris, this is the clitoral hood, this is the labia. Everyone we're gonna put this video up. We won't be, you can't even see it, we'll just do this. Okay, so then this clitoris, this is the urethra, this is the vaginal opening. Okay, let's start. Okay. Okay, so the G-spot surrounds the urethral canal. Okay. Because it's the prostate, the prostate surrounds the urethral canal. It starts at the outside opening of the body.

So it's right under this tissue. There's a meaty area that surrounds the urethral opening, the latin urethromyetus. Okay. That's what I call the head of the G-spot. Now what you do is you simply draw your finger, keep your finger, and you'll slowly enter the vaginal canal. Okay.

Okay, so right here, all this is the prostate too, under this tissue. Yes. From the urethra to the vaginal entrance. Okay. And then you just put your finger in one knuckle, one knuckle. Okay. Okay. So you are in the vagina.

Right here. Now you're on the body, the body of the G spot. Okay. That's where I found. Right. So right in there. That's where it is. That's it. You can imagine how you can just push that out with your pelvic floor. Right. I was shocked.

I'm like, there's where it is. Okay. Exactly. Most women are shocked. They're shocked. Yeah. This is so great. I don't think I've ever gotten this position. That's what we're dealing with. You know, it's not everybody understands how stuff can be so hidden and they don't know, you know, they don't know what it's like. They'll like be shocked, but it's by something so hidden from us, but that's the case here. Right, because usually going right here to the claris, and I always say these are all these clitoral nerves like all through here, that's what we call them now, but you know, anyway, so let's go back to here. I don't want to go off on that. So this is what people, this is the great with the mirror to take a look, do this, push it out. And then you're saying when we start to touch it, then we'll become, I think if that's how it, yeah, that'll be, then you'll become more. Yes, because you just, it's a process of awareness.

Once you know and see and have felt with your finger. Okay. I saw this G-spot stick out. Now I show my eyes and I locate that with my finger. I feel what it's like to touch it with my finger. And I feel what it's like to have a finger touch my G-spot body. Right? This is all awareness. I do not go fast. to have a finger touch my G-spot's body, right? This is all awareness. I do not go fast. Right. I take women through this very slowly.

I don't think I even ever really looked at my Lollipop in this way that like there's... Have you ever wished you could ask me your most personal sex or relationship questions and then actually get an answer? Like how do I stop overthinking during sex? How do I ask for what I really want? Or how do I reignite the spark in my relationship?

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I didn't even knew my Waffle Puppets G-spot. I just. I know. I thought we knew each other. I know. I know. This is fine. I know.

This is where we're at. You know, we have to accept it. We have to go like a kindergarten, you know to learn about our bodies. That's all right. You have to come to town or I'll come to you and we should just do this with women and have a look at this. Yeah, we should because it's so amazing. I know it's amazing. It's amazing. It is.

So then we do this and then that's when you start to touch it and then women. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Yeah Tender loving care. Mmm. Okay. Oh slow Breathing just feel what that feels like So every I see I see it over and over and then just talk about it in lectures I see all the women relax because you know, we're getting it like this. So we're our tants. I mean, women are tants, okay? Right. We're so tense. We're going in and out. We think it's something we're broken

because we can't have an orgasm through penetration. Yeah, exactly. It's like slow down and you can. It's that simple. Has every woman been able to have an orgasm, a G-spot orgasm from your class? Yes. Yes. Yes. Oh my God. Because they get to know her. She's not big.

People have said, you don't exist. It's like, well, she's. You don't exist. She has a little, you know, she needs a little. I know, she doesn't exist. She's not not real I can't do it. Right she's broken it's like oh my gosh. This is the work that people we all we all need to do it I mean I did this in grad school and but not to this degree so this is incredible. I okay so then we find our G spot, no

pressure orgasm, I mean no pressure orgasm or to ejaculate. This is awareness. Awareness. The first day's awareness. We're finding it. We've got a long way to, we have a bit of a ways to go to orgasm yet. Fear is a step by step. We have performance issues, we have impatience issues, we have to go, we are trained to go really really fast, we want that pleasure now, we want this now, it's like nope. No, we want everything fast and also because our maybe our if we're with a man or with someone with a penis, they will come a lot quicker usually and so we just walk around and this has been the same stories for, you've been doing this for 30 years,

I've been doing it for over 15. It's, I'm telling you, it is exactly the same. So I almost wanna buy billboards. I don't know what else to do here, but we're doing the show, so we gotta find it. Billboard is really the only way to go, I think. Have you seen your G-spot today? But I wanna rebrand it and call it something else.

So we don't have to get into it now. So we find it. So you do this and then there are so many blocks though. If we are, first of all, not even willing to do this, but we go in, okay, so should we go back to it? So we're touching it and we're just first day awareness. Touch around the urethra, get to know the meaty area that surrounds the urethral canal. This is the head of the G spot

So we're articulating it right? It's not just down there Like they say in England down there in the basement Okay Okay, so we're articulating something that has not had a name, it doesn't exist. That is what I do. We're going to articulate this millimeter by millimeter. You will have no doubt about your G-spot after that. Okay, this is great.

You will own her forever. And no matter what the media says or anyone else has to say, it will be irrelevant, like water off a duck's back to you after that. Yeah. That's. That's empowerment. Yes. Me.

I think so too. Get responsible for your own orgasm. We are responsible for it. Yeah. So we start articulating it and then we, and that's when we'll start to feel more around, I mean I gotta be, I rush through it sometimes too, like if I'm masturbating. Yes, you will feel more because you're relaxed. That's the thing too, we're so goal oriented.

Yeah, we're goal oriented, get me there, but. When a woman relaxes, she feels arousal, something like that. Yeah, it's true. We're so rushing in sex, something happening, and we just don't relax. We're stressed out. We've got to perform. We've got to look good. We've got to be in certain things.

And unfortunately, the vibrator came along with women's entry to the workforce. And so women are extremely busy and they just kind of jerk off with the vibrator. Now like men have jerked off four or five times a day with their penis to control their stress. This is kind of what's happened for women in general with the vibrator for some women. For some women, yeah. For some women. So they're coming to me now and they're kind of relearning, okay, this other half.

Because it's okay to go fast. There's more. Yes, there is more. So how long does this go? Then we find this. We're still going here. We're still on it. Okay. So how long does this so then we find this we're still going here. We're still on it. Okay, and then we

Start to get a rat. It starts to swell Right. It will it will but it's not instant. This is just awareness and location So we're just gonna locate her inside the body now, right inside the vagina just with the first knuckle for okay body now, right inside the vagina, just with the first knuckle, okay? So that we know that body. Okay, I can feel her ridges. Oh, and she kind of hangs down through the roof of the vagina like a half moon. So on each side of that half moon is kind of like the little canals I call them. I used to call them gutters like at the bowling alley, but it's like no, those two canals.

That's what they say rain gutters are in New Mexico. So you know, okay, I can feel on each side where she hangs down. Okay. Wow. feel on each side where she hangs down. Okay, wow. And now I'm starting to notice, oh, the body's kind of squishy. Oh, and the temperature, the temperature's cool. Some women it's warm, some women it's hot.

What is the temperature? And what's the texture? Is it rough? Is it smooth? Is it rough like a cat's tongue? So we notice this temperature texture all around the half moon shape and the structure. Half moon, fluffy, squishy, like a pillow.

Maybe. Mostly, but you know, each woman wants to know what her own G-spot's like. We all have a G-spot just like we all have a nose, but everybody's nose is kind of different. The nose is in the same place on the face. The G-spot is in the same place in every single woman on the planet. See? But she has a face and she looks different for each woman. And so, so that's the body. And so we go a little farther back, staying connected to her. By that, I mean,

don't lift up your finger, stay connected so you know where you are at and as you go a knuckle and a half back your finger is going to start to curl and it's going to curl around the back end of this organ and hangs down through the roof of the vagina see now here's the thing, on the back you can have either round and firm or you can have one that's ramp shaped and fluffy. And I mean fluffy like clouds fluffy. So we go back now millimeter by millimeter from the body ever so slow millimeter by breathe and relax relax our body relax our fingers we carry so much tension relax relax now millimeter all right now I'm coming to the back oh yeah my G's round and firm. What about your G-spot?

Emily, is yours ramp shaped and fluffy like cotton candy? I think it is a little bit more fluffy like cotton candy. Yeah. It is. It can be an amazing feeling of fluffiness. Yeah. Yeah. So then we feel we've noticed the structure there, it's maybe ramp shaped and fluffy.

We noticed the temperature was hot and mine is hot, could be cool for another ladies. And we notice, yeah, this texture. Yeah. Smoother. Yeah. And so then we slowly, ever so slow, draw our finger back from the back across the body, ever so slow. Okay.

And then we slowly come out, let our finger fall from the vagina, ever so slow. And then we cup our vulva. Yes. With our hand. I love the coughing. Yeah and relax our vulva into our hand. Okay and then we send our G spot, our beautiful prostate. Big thank you with the breath. Yeah, then we slowly come back into our space here. Wow, that's amazing. I always think I want to just do this part for the part and then we could go into some of the details here, but I think that would be great to put at the end of this episode as an exercise and then

Right now because that honestly for the first time like oh, yeah I I actually want to go home and do this in this way Like I haven't done that in a while if I have it's been a long time and I think that was the best one of the best Tutorials to finding the G, G area that I've heard and I've seen. Wow, thank you. I watched that, Ra. Yeah, you're welcome.

That's the first step. And I guess that's where we start. And then from here. That is the first step. Okay. So. Sure, you know, you can go right for it, but I'm not teaching that.

Emily, I'm teaching tender loving care because she needs that. I'm teaching to slow way down because that's what the vagus nerve needs. The vagus nerve is the meditation nerve. Yes, it is the, it is the meditation nerve. It's the antidote to the fight and flight. So that vagus nerve slows us way down. That's why we fight and flight. So that vagus nerve slows us way down. That's why we breathe and relax.

So that's the nerve that goes to the prostate. That's the orgasm you're going to have is from this powerful vagus nerve starts out slow and ends with a bang. So we do that and we do that for a while and then we, the orgasm comes from just continuing and breathing and stroking. And what about, let's talk about why women, this isn't happening through penetration. Well it does. Once we, it opens up.

Explain that to me then. Tell me your perspective on that, why so many women don't because they've denied it they haven't looked for it they don't know where it is mostly again the speed okay women can have that quote bad this is the vaginal orgasm this is what the vaginal orgasm is it's the g-spot and women haven't had the vaginal orgasm is. It's the G-spot. And women haven't had the vaginal orgasm because they're going too fast. You have to slow down to have that orgasm, as we just said, with the vagus nerve, gotta go slow.

It's a slow, right? And so for some women who maybe are having orgasms that way, it's probably rubbing, obviously, it's like your clitoris is maybe rubbing on your partner and that's what's gonna happen but it's not internal. It's not the G-spot. It's slow, like slow, slow, slow. If anything's in the vagina, fingers, toy, penis, you're stimulating the prostate. You cannot not stimulate it. It's right there on the roof. Right. So it's always getting stimulated. It's just it's numbed

out due to the way we make love in Western culture which is to ram ram ram ram. Mmm. So we're talking like slow like let's show like slow. Slow and steady, slow and steady, slow and steady. Rhythmic in and out. That's how you breathe and relax, move your body, you know, with the rhythm. So it's a dance. It's not a mechanic.

It's an art, right? So it's body talk. Okay. So it's not your mind saying, would you please hurry up? You know, nothing happens. I want you to do this, that and the other thing. Right. Is it, we have, it's like, no, the tables are turned.

You listen to your body. Okay, so she's starting to feel good. Okay, so, okay, so I might move a little faster with that. Am I in and out is still steady, but it's gonna be a little faster, you know? And it's all just connected here. Your arousal gets a little more. You have to breathe.

You have to move your body. This is, think of the world, word, build. You are building pleasure throughout your body. If you do that with the breath and the movement, right? And this is basic Tantra. Actually, this is where Tantra enters the picture with the G-spot orgasm is Tantra teaches to move your body to breathe because what they're doing is they're breathing this arousal pleasure all around the body. They're filling really, they say they're filling their cells with pleasure And you are you know are yes

You just build it until you just You have that orgasm those muscles are gonna push out those powerful pelvic floor muscles are gonna push out and You'll just explode into an orgasm. Yeah. And you push out, it wants to push out what's ever in your vagina. Right. So take the toy out, take the penis out. That's it. That's how, that's exactly like my kind of orgasms too. You push out but we always think, oh it should be happening with the penis or what's a good position for this if we're talking about penetrative sex? The best to learn is to kneel next to your bed to place your upper torso on the top of your bed

or stand up place your upper torso on maybe counter height or even a table. Mm-hmm. So that your upper torso is supported and secure because you got to move your hips. Well that's the other thing I'm thinking like moving. And you do it from behind. Yeah. Oh do it from behind yourself. Do it penetration. Yeah, because you're supporting your upper body. So it's secure and you're lying on one arm. So you're free here, right? To do it from behind. Or even from in front.

Even if you're with a partner, what if you're with a partner? What if you found- Same position. But that's a good, why the doggy style for so many women, that's not gonna be how they orgasm. Like, all that they go slow, is that what you were talking about? Is like penetration from behind?

Yeah, it's slow and steady. Okay, this is, okay, let's, that's, that's. And women are moving their hips. Women are feeling that pleasure. Yeah, you're moving around. They have more control too because they can also jump off the penis. When you squirt, does that mean you orgasmed?

Orgasm and ejaculation are two different functions. Ejaculation is a release of fluid. Orgasm is, as we know, pleasure. Ejaculation is a release of fluid. Orgasm is, as we know, pleasure. So, and you can also orgasm without ejaculating and you can ejaculate without orgasm. Yes. You can orgasm, you can ejaculate before orgasm, during orgasm or after orgasm or not ejaculate at all. Right. So can all women

squirt? That's the next question. All women can ejaculate because all women have a prostate. Female ejaculation is prostatic fluid. Therefore all women can ejaculate if you want to. Okay. Are there certain positions to hit the g-spot better? We just kind of talked about that, right? From behind and then we'll... The best position to hit the G-spot is to know where she is located. Find her, right? Then you'll know your best position. Exactly. Okay.

You position yourself then. Exactly. So this is that brings me to the next question. I have a hard time explaining to my boyfriend exactly how to hit my G-spot and then after she make me squirt using his hands. Can you explain in simpler terms? I think we just did that right? Is there but not the squirting. So what would we do if we already let's say we found our G-spot? What is she asking there?

You said I have a hard time. She goes I have a hard time explaining to my boyfriend how to hit my G-spot and then make me squirt using his hands. How do I explain it to him? He doesn't need to use his hands for you to ejaculate. That's something that porn started. And it's gotten way out of control. I mean, he uses his penis. That's why man's got a penis, you know. So it's mostly he just needs to slow down. And when you're ready to ejaculate, he needs to come out of your vagina. Your pelvic floor muscles are gonna push him out because your body's full of ejaculate. Your muscles are just gonna take over and push it out. That penis has to come out. Most women cannot ejaculate with something in their vagina. 30% of women like the

on top position and they for some reason can ejaculate in the on top position. Yeah. But most women are, can't. Right. Because they're not doing that. Exactly. Because then it's kind of coming out of you. But yeah, I'm with the pushing out.

So it says, my wife can only squirt through oral. How can I help her do it during intercourse penetration? The awareness. The awareness. How can I help her do it during intercourse penetration? Awareness, awareness, knowing what you're touching with your penis and awakened penis on an awakened G spot is going to be electric. How to get over the feeling that I'm going to pee and stop that sensation. So this is what, why we don't do it. Cause we're so afraid we're going to pee.

So how do we talk about that? That's right. We mistake the urge to ejaculate for the urge to pee. How do we know? We just practice. We've been told that female ejaculation doesn't exist. So if we feel that pee urge, what else is it? It's pee. Well, it's because we haven't known that. No, it's ejaculate. And as you ejaculate, you get to distinguish between the two but it is subtle. If you are aroused and you're having intercourse of one type or another penis toy fingers and you feel that urge to pee that is the urge to ejaculate just let go let it

flow. Let go and let it flow and Right, let go and let it flow. And if it is, well, how about this though? What's the liquid made of and where does it come from with women's squirt? Everyone wants to know, is it pee? Isn't it pee? There's been all these studies. And I'm always like, who the hell cares?

I mean, I know it's prosthetic fluid and it's from the urethral periorethral gland. And we were going to talk about this and I'd love you to answer it here, your answer. But what I say to them, Deborah, is just who cares? Does it feel good? Throw a towel down what's that's right I don't get caught up in it but you tell me what we will ask you what is it made of is it Pete what do you what's your answer to that female ejaculate is prostatic fluid

therefore it's 10% therefore it's 90% prostatic fluid and 10% glucose. What's in prostatic fluid? Just the same as what's in the male prostatic fluid. It's the food and the nutrients and the protective environment, i.e. alkaline, for the sperm when they get their way to the egg, okay? So is female ejaculation, that is its biological function, is to protect that sperm. So it's full of vitamins, nutrients, you put it on your face, and it smells divine. This will tell you, if you ejaculate,

maybe I'm gonna answer another question here, I know I am, if you ejaculate, ladies, smell it, pick it up, take a big whiff and enjoy this delightful, divine fragrance that is your beautiful ejaculate. So what about the traces of urine? I'm just going to ask people. Oh, that happens sometimes. I mean, mostly women who are first learning, if you have traces of urine, don't worry about it. The best analogy isn't the prettiest, but you know, it's like a pump that needs to be

primed. And I mean, the water that first comes out isn't the best looking. Be nice to yourself. Just forget about the whole urine thing until you have this working in your body. Also, women are pushing too hard. They want that ejaculate to come out and so they're pushing too hard. So it's better to relax, let it slowly build

and then it'll just kind of come out of the body. Yes, yes. So how about this? How should you talk to a partner, talk about it with a partner and prep for cleanup in a way that's still sexy? I get a lot of the cleanup questions and it's too messy. Do you have any recommendations? Well, this is the thing with, once you ejaculate, you got to prepare. You know, we don't always want to prepare for sex and, you know, you still have hang-ups around

it. Like, oh my god, if I prepare, I spoil the mood. Well, you get one of those beautifully female ejaculation blankets. Invest in that and throw it on the bed. You know, it's beautiful and comfortable and that's what you do. Yeah, and then you put it in the wash. And I have a lot of questions here about how do we make myself do it?

Really it's the same, it's that same stimulation to the G spot we were talking about. That's right. And then you just continue to breathe, continue to breathe. That's right. Right? As you build the ejaculate along with the pleasure, you can actually feel that quote P feeling.

No, you can actually feel that ejaculate building in your body. Sometimes it goes out and it's just like the tide. It just went out. It doesn't mean it's not there. It's there. And it's going to come, come back in with more pleasure, you know, until one just explodes out with the orgasm.

Yeah, I guess that's true. Does that make sense? It does make sense. But you, so I guess also, cause your book is about the G spot, like an ejaculation, you can have a G spot orgasm and not ejaculate, right? So it just might not be the tides not out that day, you go back tomorrow maybe, or what do you think? Most women are having, they've learned to have G spot orgasms without ejaculating.

I mean, you can do that. We're good at it. Okay. But the ejaculation comes from patients and Brex. I don't know how to explain, I mean, how I have and when it happens. Well the biggest obstacle to women not ejaculating is this fear of letting go. This fear of pee. Let's talk about that. Especially in Europe. That's a big one. Due to childhood stuff, you know, or on toilet training. I mean, toilet training and things, you know, just this fear, it's almost a fear of peeing. Okay, that's their biggest obstacle. The second obstacle that has to do with the orgasm is letting the wild woman out. This is not your tiny Victorian orgasm. Where we're like, it's those deep gutter.

It's yeah. Women who run with the wolves, you know, that great book by Jungian analyst, Clarissa Pinkola Estee. Women who run with the wolves. This is your wild woman. You know, and that vagus nerve is emotional by nature. It's emotional by that's what it, so it's also an emotional by nature. It's emotional by, that's what it, so it's also an emotional orgasm.

You're gonna scream, you're gonna emote your pleasure, you know, and sometimes you can, yeah, laugh and cry and it's emotional. Women love that, that's there. That's it, it's a relief. It is emotional. I feel like as I've gotten more accepting and as I've matured through my life, my orgasms are so much louder and so much more powerful. Right. And you have to be

with a partner that like that's the thing. It's like we you have to be with someone that you feel safe with that you can let go and trust and if you're not and you're worried they're gonna judge you and there they have judged you then that might not be your person. That's right and it makes it hard to so therefore you can't say I can't do this it's like no that's not totally accurate you just don't have the right circumstances. Right it's the circumstances of patience and time and partner and the right partner. So let's see.

Okay, these are some questions too that are good. Is there a relationship between drinking a lot of water and being able to squirt more? Not necessarily. Okay. I agree with that. Some women say they ejaculate and they drink a whole bunch of water.

And I don't know, I never felt that connection before. But you are releasing a lot of water out of the body. So I mean, yeah, drink up. Drink up, why not? You always should drink water for sure. Exactly. I wanna talk to you about real quick. I know we're going long here,

but I wanna know about having a G-spot orgasm and squirting, clearing sexual blocks or clearing sexual trauma. I know it's a heavy one. It's a lot. It's a full body orgasm. The vagus nerve actually makes your legs shake. It can make your... ladies if your legs are ever shaking you're working up a G-spot orgasm. So keep moving, keep breathing, keep relaxing, and yet keep building that pleasure. It's this fine dance. Just keep at it. You're just going to, like I say, have an explosive

orgasm. This, of course, it clears out emotional and physical blocks out of your body. Yeah, it does that. I mean, does it heal trauma? I mean, I can't, I don't, won't answer that. I don't, you know. But I mean, I can't, I don't, won't answer that. I don't, you know, but I'll tell you what, it makes you feel so happy about life and you feel creative afterwards. You want to do things. Sometimes you feel the opposite. You feel like I am so relaxed. I'm not going to move for a day. You know, this is also healing restful to the body. Yes, exactly. It's all healing. I mean, this is such a practice, such an ancient practice

as well. I just picture you coming to town and us like, have you, ah, God, teaching all these, we get fill up rooms of people, women. It's a beautiful thing to have the women together in the room. Absolutely, once they all see their G-spot, then it's like girlfriend time, you know, everyone's happy and talking. Everett, will you come to LA? I really wanna do this with you, I do. So we could read an email from somebody,

I want my younger girlfriend in her 20s, how to be a vaginal squirter, she wants to do this for me and I wanna to help her. Where can I learn this technique and help my partner achieve it? And a lot of men want their partners to do it. So it's all that these men's obsession, but their partners have to be on board with it.

And it starts with the woman. That's right. You know, it's not a shiny new toy, you know? And sometimes their woman will ejaculate and they want her to do it over and over and over again because you stimulate the prostate, it secretes. It's a secretion gland. So you can ejaculate over and over again, but hey, this ain't a shiny new car.

This is an organ of the body. So be respectful, lay off. This is also inherently about connection with your partner. This is about love. And ladies, especially the younger ladies, don't respect your body. Don't give into that male pressure to perform for them. It's like, forget it. Chill.

Tell them to get into their own prostate, okay? Exactly. That's a whole other episode as well. That's right. And someone else says is squirting orgasm the best orgasm you can give a woman? Yes. You say yes. It is. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It's pretty amazing when it happens, and I haven't this conscious about it, but I I love this practice. Um, I

Really saw it from our early on. It's like it's really just starting with that with the slowing down it's not gonna mean maybe it'll magically happen to intercourse, but I I don't know. It really is this it's just knowing you got to learn how to drive the car first You could go out. You got to learn the power but machinery you got to look under the hood literally yeah I first ejaculated from behind that was slow and steady you know how'd you know to go slow I've even gone that slow I need to that's it just because it just felt good it felt good I could breathe I I could move. I could build up this pleasure. It's just I was natural or something.

But they were helping me. You see, the stimulation was correct. Right. Right? How did they know? It's not about, let's talk about penis size for a second because people think it has to be a very large penis that's gonna, and it's not. We're talking in-

No, some women like pressure. You could have a large penis. It'll apply pressure on the G-spot. That will feel good. But let's get clear. That's just pressure that she's liking. She could also learn how to enjoy the massage. Massage, let's call it stimulation

because that's like connected to the fast buzzing. Let's call it massage to the G spot with the penis. Yes, it is a massage. That's how it happens. Wow, this is great. I think we're good here, Deborah. We just have to do this again. Yeah, we'll do it again. I think we covered it. I did. I want to stay connected with you. Thank you. I mean, Deborah, when's your next show? Deborah Sundahl, your book is Female Ejaculation and the G-Spot. So everyone should get this book. We're going to put it in the show notes so people can, they can buy your book.

But tell me, people can still take your classes right now. Are you doing them virtually? Are you going to be doing them in person besides the way you're going to do in LA? Oh, yeah, I've been doing them online. But as soon as we're able, we can start up again with workshops. I would love to.

How many women can be in your workshop? I think 18 is the best. Okay. So the first if I have good assistance, I can do more, but I like to give women more personal attention and not just big thing. Wow, Deborah, you're incredible. You are you are the goddess here and this is incredible work that you're doing. And I want everyone to know about this. Yeah, thank you. It's a lot of work. It's incredible.

And there aren't many women doing the, I'm talking about it specifically, but you are doing the hands-on work and teaching women. I always say we're responsible for our own orgasm. Oh, I have to ask you the five questions we ask all of our guests too. Okay. Okay, number one, they're just quick questions we ask all of our guests too. Okay. Okay, number one, they're just quickie questions.

They're quick. So what's your biggest turn on? The G-spot. Is that a dog? No, biggest turn off. Fast. What makes good sex? Eye connection.

What would you tell your younger self about sex and relationships? Slow down on both counts. What do you wish your younger self about sex and relationships? Slow down on both counts. What do you wish everyone knew about sex? That women have a prostate and then it's just overflowing with pleasure and effervescent ejaculate. Thank you so much Debra for being here. You're welcome. How can people find you? The best way to find you is on your website, DebraSundell.com. That's correct. DebraSundell.com. S-U-N-D-A-H-L. And this will all be in our show notes. Thank

you for being here. Oh, you're quite welcome. Pleasure. That's it for today's episode. Thanks so much for listening to Sex with Emily. If you love the show, please like, subscribe, and leave it a review wherever you get your podcasts. And hey, share this with a friend or partner. It just might spark something. You can find me on Instagram, YouTube, Facebook,

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