Sex With Emily - Tinder Blunders & Threesome Dilemmas

Episode Date: August 6, 2016

Relationships can be tough, especially when your most dire dilemmas are bedroom related. Luckily, in today’s show Emily gives you the tips to keep your love and sex life alive and well! Sick of always being the initiator? Want your partner to take the sexual reigns? What if your partner says “no-no” to a trip to the go-go bar? Will a threesome really reignite your passion? Emily and Menace tackle these tough debacles, and even give you an inside look at Emily’s Tinder messages. Whether you’re having doggy-style difficulties, or want to know how to respark the flame when your partner’s fire has extinguished, this podcast has you covered! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show we're getting into your relationship dilemmas. What to do when your long time partner no longer wants to have sex? How to get your lover to take the lead in the bedroom? The best way to deal with your partner's anti-strip club sentiments? All that and more, thanks for listening. Since I began telling you about the womanizer, I've received countless messages from listeners telling me how much they love this revolutionary product. I couldn't agree more.

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Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that block our sacred institutions. Betruma eyes. They call them a lie on days. Hey, Avaline. You got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken.

He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Emily? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much?

Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm off here. So, so, so. Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between for more information. Go to sexwithemily.com because right there you know you need to go

boop and you subscribe to the podcast which is so easy. We love when you subscribe. It's really easy to do and you can also find us on Google Play and SoundCloud and Spotify and also follow us on Snapchat, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, add sex with Emily. And that's what's just so fun about life. And I'm here with Menace, because you can just do all that stuff. What up Emily, how you doing? So it's going on with us. I'm doing really well.

I want to thank all the listeners. I know we think listeners all the time, but I'm going to do it real quick. Because I was going through the sex with Emily Instagram page, and there was a picture posted of us together, and people had all these nice comments, so I just wanna say thanks for that. Yeah, I know, and people like you.

Unbelievable. I know, but, and I really, I do too. I read all the comments, and actually it's like on my to-do list, is I wanna like thank people, do you comment back to your comments? Not all of them, but I try to I mean like the really important stuff No, no, my heart is somebody has a question. I try to write back Well, I try to too, but if I don't it doesn't mean that I don't see your comments and read your comments and like every time someone writes On Instagram posts like I love the show. I listen. I get like my heart

I get my heart gets really warm and I feel really grateful in that moment I never take it for I'm like oh my god someone likes a show it still feels really good so thank you. Yeah it's really cool. We appreciate that so um it's good to see you menace I've had a lot go on since I've seen you last. I know it's been like eight years. It's been a while we took a week off. Yeah Madison was out of town right. Madison was gone I was gone but, yeah, I had a sex conference, sex toy conference, adult novelty manufacturers, expo, it's twice a year. And you know I love these sex toy shows

because, you know, it's like every single sex toy on the planet is there. And all the like the newest toys that are coming to market, all the, like these are, I'm doing this for 10 years. So like I know everybody in the industry. And it's just fucking fun. It's like three days, and everyone's like, try this toy, if you try this,

and we did a bunch of videos and photos, you can check those out across the board. But my- That's really cool. I know, and my highlight, because you know that one of my dreams is, you know, on my dreams. What is your dream? One of my dreams in life,

dreams is to have a loop on everything stand, as you every day stand. So you have a couple of sodas. I just want to make sure I had the right one. I have a couple of dreams. It's true. I want a dog. No Joe Joe Lou is this amazing lubricant and they had this great booth because everyone sets up booths. You've been trade shows. And they had this bicycle setup right and it was just like set up there as like show, but it has like a little cart on the front, like one of those like front, cart you could put things in.

And there was like Lou ball over and they were having all their tables. I was like, I really wanna ride that bike. Like I wanna ride that bike, cause it's filled with Lou, but I wanna like give away Lou, so I said, you guys can I ride your bike? And I got on their bike, I hijacked it,

and I started riding it around the show. I was like, Lou, but they're like, Lou, and riding it around the show, I was like, a looom, throwing a loo, and it was so fun, and there were looops. Dude, that's just fucking awesome. Dude, it was awesome, and I kind of want to take it home because I feel like it would help me further my mission if I could maybe just go through the streets of LA, like start here, like start one city at a time.

I thought it would be like a contraption where you get on it and it shoots looops actually as your- That would be interesting too. That'd be cool. Like in Mexico, it's in your box and they shoot the kill in your mouth. Yeah. But here's the thing about those Loub, they've a new gelato collection.

Okay. So it's Loub, but it tastes like gelato and it's body safe, pH balance. And they had it in this ice cream cart. So one of their gimmicks was that like, you could have ice cream and they'd pour their Loub on it. Like you could have, it comes with like chocolate, flake, what is it like salted caramel? And so it was really cool. So that was really fun.

That was a highlight for me. And then also, this is a funny story. So I was having dinner with you know, Wevibe toys that I love. We love all the Wevibe toys. So Frank, who's the president of Wevibe, I accept him. So you know what, we have our sex with Emily T-shirts now, which are for sale on our website.

On the front has our logo. They're for men and for women. And men as well, we're one because it's gray, which is where he'll leave his black T-shirts now, which are for sale on our website. On the front has our logo. They're for men and for women, and men as well wear one because it's gray, which is where he only wears black T-shirts. Yeah. No. And the front, it says, my logo. On the back, it says, I had sex with Emily

and all I got was his T-shirt. And we have like really cute women's tanks. So I said to him, a man tank, a male tank, the male T-shirt. I was like, Frank, what's up? Did you get your key? I said, how did T-shirt? Did you get it? God in Canada? I said, how, how's your t-shirt? Did you get it? He goes, gotta tell you a story about that. So I sent him the t-shirt and he said that one day,

he was, he works from home on Fridays and he was sitting there at home and all of a sudden, his son, who's 17, I just got his senior, went to school. Yeah. And it was like 8.45 in the morning and the sun comes back home, walks through the door. And, and he's like, what's up? He's like, I got kicked out of school today.

Turns out it was on Fridays, they can wear whatever they want to school. They can wear t-shirts. Because usually it's like, I think it's like a private school that you can't work with t-shirts. But on Fridays, you can wear it if you want. And he decided to, he decided to wear the sex

with Emily t-shirt. Got kicked out of school. Yep, kicked out, Catholic school. Observed. So he's like, and he was like, kicked out, Catholic school. That's sad. So he's like, and he was like, my son, he was like, I don't wanna see that coming from a million miles away. Right, but he was like, I'm gonna use, so I gotta send him another one.

He took it short. It was kind of funny. That's cool. That was a good story. And speaking of also sex toy shows that I am going to be in Brooklyn, New York, September 24th and 25th. It's the sexual health expo. That's awesome.

Do you wanna come? She. I would love to. What is it on a weekend? It's a, yeah, it's a weekend. You're not gonna come, but if you wanted to, it's so cool, because it's our fourth one. Is that friends in Brooklyn?

Yeah, come, I gotta play. Stay. Man Kim, they're a band. They're really good friends of mine. Man Kim, if people haven't heard of them, look them up. Okay. Brooklyn, they're a tap. They, they good friends of mine. Man came if people haven't heard of them looking up. Brooklyn, they're a tap. They wrap Brooklyn really hard.

Okay. They should come play. I always want to go. So we've done this their fourth one. We've done it in different cities. And it's the leading sex experts in the country speaking all day long, there's different breakout seminars and workshops. And then there's top sex toys.

And you can see all the stuff that I'm talking about. So come join me. I think the first 2000 tickets are free. If you click on the banner on our website, you can just comment. People are always saying, when you come to these coast, so I'll be there. But they just added a bunch of new sponsors. So I need to tell you about them. They've got in addition to all the other sponsors.

They now have After Dark and Cell, which is Lifestyles, Blue Dreams, Sola, Cosh and Wear, Dame products, Getting in the Mood, Indulgence, Boutique, Sir Richards, Joybox, Laylo, NAS toys, Next Gen, Health Sutions, Pure Romance, Satisfire, Subcentuals. There's going to be, so what I'm saying is- Wait, it's Next Gen? Dude, yeah. That's crazy. That's what like a bunch of radio stations that program that it runs on It's called next gen right well. I know they branched off

They branched off dude cuz you know why sex cells. Yeah, and no matter what you're doing right now Get into this x-business as well. It works. So that's That's what's happening wow you're busy. I'm really busy Brooklyn Brooklyn what you got any pretty calls in York? Not yet, but speaking of politicals. You know what's funny, you just reminded me, last time I was in New York, I, the last time I was in Dittender, which now I'm into it again, your fault.

Uh-huh. Because you started swiping on my phone a few weeks ago. I broke the sale. You broke the Tinder sale. Yeah. And I forgot this. I always said that I've only had one Tinder date, which was the live Tinder You broke the Tinder seal. Yeah. And I forgot this. I always said that I've only had one Tinder date, which was the live Tinder date on the show,

but I had another one in New York. And I was there like two years ago, and I met this guy who went on a date, and I think I fooled around with him, but then I got really grossed out and made him leave my hotel room. Oh wow. Not grossed out, that's really bad.

He just, I realized that first of all you would assume like of course Actually, then we bring back to the hotel room But we were having a really nice time and then once I got up there I was like I'm actually I like kissed him And then I was like bye fun. See ya leave So but speaking of Tinder hot that was really a hot session. I'm sorry now this time I'm going to find yes,, so the answer to your question is currently I don't have any hookups in New York, but I'm sure you'll get a bunch of emails now. Exactly. I've been your family dot com. Who wants me to kick them out of my hotel room?

Yes. So just email me. Send D picks. Send no, no D picks, but. A ton of D picks. But this leads me to sex in the news because the first story is about Tinder. Oh wow. What's going on with Tinder these days? I haven't really heard any Tinder news too much. I mean, Tinder was like this huge thing. I mean, like, oh, it's not just Tinder, all these dating apps, it was like every other news story

was about it, but now it's kind of like falling off. I know everyone is using them. Everyone's using them much. You gotta use it, you guys. If you're, here's a thing, if you're dating in the world at all, you're just like, oh, I can't meet anybody. Just think of it this way. It's all in numbers games.

So let's say you go to the coffee shop, and you may always use the coffee shop. But you're the bar, you move people. But this just increases your odds. So you're going to meet 30 more people that you normally would bump into at the coffee shop. And yeah, you won't love all of them, but you just need one. Yeah.

So just do my as well expand your odds. So Tinder Social, the app Tinder launches a feature to let people find group dates, which obviously can be mistaken for group sex because it is seen as being a hookup site. So they have to be very careful by expanding in this direction because it could be perceived as like throwing orgies everywhere.

But what it does is it accesses your Facebook friends and lets you, if you choose, invite it does is it accesses your Facebook friends and lets you if you choose and bite them along Because it connects to your Facebook So you do that and you're like and again, it goes back to the whole a lot of people don't get nervous or social anxiety 101 dates. So if you want to include your friends You know you could use that so Tinder social is designed to make it as easy as possible to plan your night Get out in the real world. I mean new people That's what they say. It takes to the next level. That's cool. I wonder if they'd break it down by interest, too.

Yeah, maybe like if you want to go wine tasting. Because meetup.com, you know, that's where I go to do French Bulldog meetups and things like that. Do you do that? Yeah, that's fun. They have huge ones in Long Beach, California. We're hundreds of French bulldogs. We'll show up. That's a lot of dogs. Yeah.

Okay, well, the thing I want to say, I want to thank you, though, Matt, because I, so yeah, I went back on Tinder because you started and so I have not gone out with anyone yet, but I have a few people that I'm kind of interested in. But I just want to give people example. I don't remember. I think initially, yes. a few people that I'm kind of interested in, but I just want to give people an example. I don't remember, I think initially yes.

So, but I've been getting some interesting messages. So, this one is an example of not a great first message, right? He says hi. Hi. I said hello. He said, I can see you're quite fit with curves and sexy. What the fuck? I'm not answering, okay, it is really cute, okay?

He was cute and I'm like, loser, okay. That makes me sound like he's even like, we're gonna get kale and we're gonna go to CrossFit every day. No, it is boring. But then it actually comes off like, let's just bang and that's it.

Okay, right, but here's the next guy. Yeah. I love the fairy princess pick, because there's a picture of me and a fairy princess just stop. He says, so cute. Hi Emily, you have soulful eyes. Are they hazel?

Oh, god. Okay. So that might sound worse to you, but it's a lesser of two eels evils here. And he was pointing out something specific in our my eyes, Hazel. And I was like, it's eyes. It's specific.

It's not like your curvy, your my cut type of chick. Let's go back. I know, but still eyes. Okay, do you want to hear it even better? Better better? Yeah, what do you got? Oh, God? I'm over here. Oh, God. There's some bad ones. Oh My God. Okay. Oh, here's what happened. So this is my thing. This one guy that actually like we've been texting back and forth He's really funny. He was a very like smart funny texture and the first thing he said to me was I'll find this he said So what's your podcast about because on it says?

Facebook has podcasts. That's like my first thing it says I can't even hide that because it's like what my job description It or whatever yeah, he's like to me this is a very first thing he said. So what's your podcast? I'm like, oh god, we're gonna start there and I said yeah, it's about wizard's Impotions I was so bad right exactly. So I like, I don't want to lead with the sex thing, but I know you're going to Google me anyway. So he said to me, first thing he said, better than theory of princess, oh wow, I'm dying to know what your show is.

And I said, yeah, well, the topic is usually crowd pleaser, must I answer now. He says, well, you're texting with a guy you just wrote a book about kind of tangentially, I had to do a sex. So I said to him, okay, it's called sex with Emily. And then this is all in our text. He goes, okay, I'm gonna listen now. And then he starts listening as we're texting.

And he says, chatting on Tinder. And he's like, oh my God, you're talking about your vagina. You're talking about not even about sporting. And I'm like, oh, look at your face. But actually, I'm gonna go out with him because he's really funny. And he can handle it. I'm like, well, I usually don't like to lead

with the sex thing, but okay, you know, I actually cannot, but guys who can handle it, that's what I'm going to go with. Guys who think it's, you know, forgot about it. I can tell the guys who are just going to be in for the sex thing. I have a man of man, though. So I'm busy. All right. All right, fine.

Well, let's share the potential. So thank you. And I got to say that, yes, Tinder, oh hook up app, only if you want to hook up. Yeah. Okay. Let's say I said, So thank you and I got to say that yes Tinder. Oh hookup app only if you want to hook up. Yeah, okay It's like I said about the Pokemon hookups. He got a info on that They're making dating apps. I know. Well, they should I should have done it. We should have made it the first day I've got nothing on that. I did download it because you did Well, could with you were here, but I

Got a time to Pokemon. I'm gonna get a cash a charm. Did you catch a charmander yet? No. Or jigglypuff? No. Only the squirtle. I went nothing else but the squirtle. Okay, now that we're talking about squirting, what's up with that? Why is everyone want to do that? That's a really good question. And I'll tell you why. Because it's important. Because the reason why we never got asked the question about squirting when we started 10 years ago is because nobody saw squirting. People didn't know women could squirt Maybe it was like this hypothetical like they think maybe one day I heard what was like leading the years ago and a dark dark Yeah thousands of years ago, there was a woman who's squirting but now we see important all the time

And so I think that guys think it's There's a lot of reasons. I think that they see it and I think that would be like this ultimate satisfaction like they because it's something they do to the woman and she's squirting and like that must mean that like she's really like It's the next level and I think that guys squirt and they're like wow guys But isn't it not even Not even an orgasm for some women it is a orgasm but It's stimulation of the G spot

and many women that talk about it say that they, it is separate, that they do not experience orgasm with squirting, but guys don't care, it's visual. It's unnecessary. You don't have to lean up is what it is. You know what, put some blankets down, put some beach towels down that you don't use very much and you do it.

So that's the whole squirting thing and that's why that comes up all the time in choking. Thank you, porn. Thank you very much. All right. Okay, so let's give a shout out to our sponsors and then we're going to, you know, do a little emails. Thanks a lot for supporting our sponsors. I love you. It's almost that time again. the Sexual Health Expo is back, and this time is taking place in one of my favorite cities on earth, New York City. I'm so honored to once again be hosting this one of a kind event like seriously. What other event brings today's top sex educators and the hottest pleasure products together

under one roof? Exactly, it's the only one. The Sexual Health Expo will be taking over Brooklyn September 24th and 25th, and for the first time ever, you can attend for free! Thanks to our good friends at Wevibe, the first 2,000 people to register will be given free admission to the two-day event. Sexual Ed Sponsor The Pleasure Chess has planned out a weekend's worth of seminars on today's most relevant wellness topics, all delivered by an array of sex experts I know and admire. Not only will you be expanding your sexual horizons, you'll also be able to see brand new products

from Jimmy Jane, Doc Johnson, Joe Lubricants, Fleshlight, Lifestyles and Skin Connems, Cee Wembed, Hot Flowers USA, I Am Toy, Caution Wear Connems, Commissoutra, Bayblend, Pure, The Pleasure Chest, High Pleasuresra, bay blend, pure, the pleasure chest, high pleasures, unbound box UV and more. You can learn more about the sponsors on my website. Just click on the She-Banner for all kinds of information. And a lot of you ask me to let you know when I'll be on the East Coast. So mark your calendars for September 24th and 25th and get ready to come visit me in

Brooklyn. Whether you walk, run, drive, fly, swim or uber, you're in for two days of sex positive education and fun. Just reserve your free tickets, visit sexualhealthexpo.com today. And remember, the free tickets are limited to the first 2,000 reservations, so don't wait. These will disappear quickly. I'll see you there. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Elie.

Okay, man, we're doing emails, feedback at sexwithelm. everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Okay, man, we're doing emails. Feedback at sexwithelm.com. Yes. Oh, but besides that. Why? Just go to the website now. It's so easy.

You just say ask Emily and you can so easily just submit the question there, right as long as you want, although not too long, because sometimes we got edit it down. And yeah, just send to us, then you don't have to do the feedback, but that's a new option. That's one set of questions.

That's one set of questions. Another option, leave me a message, 818-ask-swe1-1, you can leave a voicemail, that's 818-275-793-1, we're gonna start doing voicemail shows, we've got a bunch of great voicemail. Oh wow, you did? Yeah, so we're gonna do that. We can't wait to feature your questions live on here.

Hell yeah. Whoa, that's cool. Okay, so let's gonna do that. We can't wait to feature your questions live on here. Whoa, that's cool. Okay, so let's get into the email. Dear Emily, my boyfriend and I have been together for four years. We love each other and are each other's best friend. However, he doesn't want to have sex with me anymore. Oh no. He says that if we bring another woman into bed,

things can get better. Yeah, hell yeah. Is the relationship over? Or can we work through this? Anna, what is your problem today? What? You're high. No, I wish I was. Your eyes look red. Oh, I've been up since I my alarm was at 1.50 a.m. this morning. Dude, I'm sorry. You're you're you're you're checking through. You're awesome. It's all good. It's okay. So Anna, here's a thing. It's okay. I get it. But no, I'm just having

fun. I love when you're fine. You're so cute And I'm gonna be doing our drunk show soon. Yes Okay, so Anna here's the thing. I'm so glad you wrote because so many couples think like like oh Well, we're just gonna do this thing like have a baby that'll help our that'll help our relationship and Having a threesome kind of the same thing if you think that bringing in a third partner is going to save your relationship, it will not help at all. I'm sure that she loves them, but sex can diminish over time. What do you think, men?

Have a threesome save your relationship? Uh, no, that's not gonna save a relationship. It's just gonna cause a ton of problems. Exactly. Now, okay, it's crazy, because I've been talking about this for years and you've like, I don't agree. Don't agree with it at all. And I'm sorry, like I always like promote drinking and things like that. And if people like have a problem with drinking, I'm really sorry,

I know that's a big struggle for a lot of people. But if it's not... If you're a moderate drinker, yeah. If you're a minor drinker, there was new research that came out that said the couple that drinks together stays together. Could you believe that? Did you do that study with your like three friends? No, it's like scientific study that came out that people are gonna know. Well, because they're snobbed

to each other's emotions and they know. Okay, but you drink like have a glass of wine every night or like get wasted at have to do. The level of it, okay, but he drinks like have a glass of wine every night or like get wasted at that level of it. I didn't really read too much. Well, why don't you before you bring scientific studies to the show? Well, people have Google, they can look it up them damn self. Okay, look it up.

I'm just saying couples who do things together and have similar interests, yes, but if you are only drinking, you have a couple of things. But there's the other factor though. Drinking can cause a shit ton of problems. Oh yeah, absolutely. So I have no believe me.

I love a glass of wine or dirty martini or two. Yeah. As long as it's a moderation and it loosens you up and you have a good time, I'm okay with that. I barely ever drink anymore. I know you were so fun when you used to get black out drunk though. I, yeah. Well you don't remember but you were fun.

Yeah. I like you better now. I mean I've always loved you. So here's the thing though, Anna. Let's go back to Anna here, because I'm sure that you do love each other. But when the sex diminishes in a long-term relationship, you've got to work on the sex, and you've got to communicate about it, and to bring in the third partner

is not the way to go. And I'm sure, like, yeah. I say blow jobs. Four years. No, they've been together for years and your best friends And so I'm not sure how old you are because you did not mention your age where you live and how you listen, which is what we love The only way you get better is if you really truly like get into like what are the issues? Why are you having sex is that that you he thinks that you don't want anymore?

Is it that you guys haven't you know you're gotten kind of familiar with each other and you're not doing things to mix it up. You're not speaking to each other about like what you truly, truly want. I mean, he's telling you you want to threesome. Guess what? Most guys, a lot of guys, that's their top fantasy. Doesn't mean it actually has to happen. In fact, a couple should only have a threesome when they're on super steady, solid ground.

And they've both discussed it. So that is not the answer. But maybe you could watch porn. in this might sound silly to you, but I swear to God, you could watch porn together, like with a threesome being depicted in it. And then you could like giving random blow jobs to saddened nowhere random act of blow jobs. Kindness. Don't make this awkward space where you're like, oh, you know, really got to talk about it and work it out. Just start giving some random blow jobs, like start being. I wish the blow jobs, no, but start being a little more aggressive and see what

happens. Initiate sex more. Yeah. Well, there might be a whole lot of. It's like weird limbo like neither one of you want to be the initiator because it's like a freight of rejection. Well, this is what I'm saying that resets resentments have probably built in your relationship, whereas you guys are not even able to talk about anymore. Maybe he needs more blowups.

Maybe you need more oral sex. I don't know what's going on with you guys, but I'm telling you, do not go down the threesome category, turn all of your attention towards each other. And if you've listened to this show, you know I've done God knows hundreds of shows, with tips and tricks, go to my website about how to keep

things interesting and how to communicate with your partner. I recommend you guys do that and do not have it for some and then if you guys realize you know what we cannot get that spark back we can't get that connection then it'll be time to end it but. So this here have a question for you so this morning show that I'm part of the Woody show. The Woody show here in Los Angeles on Altman 8.7. Do you know what we, so you can't say blowjob on the radio because the FCC. Guess what we call blowjobs. What? Mouth parties. Oh, that's good. Yeah. It's a party in your mouth. Yeah. And everyone's invited. I like it. Yeah. Mouth parties. That's good. Luckily, we can say lowjob. So give her man a couple mouth parties. Right. And maybe we can give her a mouth. What's it called when a guy wants to get a girl up?

We don't say it on the air, but sometimes we say blowies for fun. You can't say that on the air though. No. You guys are a party. Yeah. We try. OK. Mouth party.

Thanks for that. What was the last time you'd given a mouth party? Can I tell you to the longest I've ever gone? Really? I've had zero parties. I've been going stag, giving myself my own blood. No, I'm actually, I remember my mandatoryum, which is my moratorium on men.

It was about five years ago. I was like, I'm not going to date men. And I think I did it for three months. Okay, four or four months. This has been about five months, long as I've gone, really, out of penis in my mouth. Wow. Or any penises anywhere, except for fake penises, which are all around or office. I'm surrounded by penis. But it's kind of a

purposeful. It's a purposeful year. The one by the window scares me. What is that made out of? That's Maurice, that's our intern. That it's silicone. We should monster and and I feel it's gonna catch on fire because it's in the window More recently a big part of the sex family family you should know him Madison go get me to put it on his lap No, he's sweet. He does a lot of things. He's a really he's just like he just will do anything we say like it He's just great like hold just kind of participate. Well, like hey Maurice Can you play the penis in this video and he's always down? He's a little hairy.

Madison, when we moved to, when we moved to the new office, Madison watched. She put him in this sink. He's stretched it like to like three feet. I know he's a little limp right now. You got to turn him on. Oh no, I don't want to. He was super dirty.

I look over at Madison as I'm in a bowl of sauce. It's so gross. Wait, what do you guys, okay, hold on. What? This thing. This will be on our Instagram. It looks super realistic. I know.

It's a packer. You could put in your pants and- But the thing is. The thing is- Well, we got to sniff this. Alright, the thing is with this fake penis. It's super rubbery, right? And it's soft.

It's like a stretch Armstrong kind of thing our intern Maurice the problem is what do you even do with that it that thing can't even get erect what is that is that just for show the slap people in the face yeah I mean okay it's flaccid yes the flaccid penis but you can use it for a lot of things you could use it in Japan as a neck tie you can use your pants as your packing people who are transitioning. You know, okay, that's what I thought this is for because you can't, you can't definitely can't

penetrate with this. Well, not you. It's super limp. You can't penetrate with it, but you can just pet it if you want. You know, Maurice. All right. So he's our long term intern and got nice balls. Maurice. I Well, take a picture. Yeah, sex at mm dot com. Check it out our intern. Check it out. To the spot. Can we check our, um, oh, this will be our Yeah, sex, Emily. Yeah, I'm Maurice. He's my longest. I've had him for the longest Instagram dot com slash sex. Emily to that. Sure. There's a Maurice photo.

So when people are still liking the bikini photo, thanks every day. It's most liked photo so when people are still like in the bikini photo Thanks every day. It's most liked photo nice. Okay dating a virgin. Hey Emily I'm 33 year old straight single guy and I love it. I date a lot of mid to late 20 year old women who seem to love being single as well We hang out for a while go on a few dates have great sex most of time and then move on It's been awesome, but I really see I recently met a woman who was 29 and very attractive. At the end of our fourth date, I dropped her off at her house and she asked if I'd like to come in.

Immediately she jumped on me and we got naked. Although she said we can not have sex because she's a virgin and wants to find a guy that she can fall in love with before she has sex with anyone. So my question is, how do I approach this? I like her a lot. We have great sexual chemistry. I enjoy hanging out with her, but I don't see myself

loving her anytime soon, maybe eight months. But for now, I love where I'm at. I have a lot of sexual experience with women. I know we would have an amazing time sexually, but I don't want to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. But can I tell her, life is not a fairy tale, and her night in shining armor is probably not going to pop out of the woods and sweep off her feet

in three dates or is that too harsh cam Well definitely that's too harsh with with that kind of feedback I don't know I definitely talked her about it say hey You just be straight up with her no cam here's deal based on what you shared He is no business being with this girl cams in in the stage of his life We want to hit it and quit it. He wants a date girl. He's into the conquest. He stated that she needs her night and shining arm. Yeah, okay. You mean you know, no, no, she's stated all of it. Okay, so let me just recap real quick. So Cam Is into this phase of his life where he he's having a great time. He's 33 He's dating lots of girls in their 20s. They go out a few times. They hang out

They have sex and then he moves on and he said it's awesome But now he met a girl. They had four dates and she happens to be a virgin And she doesn't want to sex because she says you know what? I want to be in love and I want to feel safe and comfortable and loving with someone that I've sex with for the first time and And cam's like, but I really like it. Should I tell her like, you know, just that guy's not gonna come along? No, cam, you're gonna hurt this girl because you are at a very different stage in your life. She wants to wait till she has falls in love and wow, that might not be so realistic in your right, like right away, he's like, oh, an eight-month-old lover. First of all, how do you know an eight-month,

you're going to lover? That's even besides the point. You are going to hurt this girl because as a bi-product of just where you're at now. I love that you love where you're at. That's great. You stay doing that and let this woman, the virgin, go out and date a guy that she feels safe with who's gonna call her after they have sex. And I'm not sure you're gonna be that guy. So be honest there and say, this is where I'm at.

I'm dating lots of women having sex. I'm not ready to be in a relationship and fall in love right now. And you think she's great and it's probably gonna hurt her, but guess what? Hurt her a lot more if you break her cherry and don't call her. Dispire, shrewd ghost. You don't want to be that, dude. Right. Even though somebody else will do a tour.

Don't be that guy. Me? No, don't have candy that guy. You probably were that guy. It's karma, dude. It's true. I mean, if you're hooking up with a bunch of other chicks, anyways, we can only, but I got caught off by one thing earlier.

When I saw that Maurice came in, I was like, I'm Manatorium. Did I finish that? I was just saying that it's been purposeful to the last few months that I've decided that I really don't want to jump into another relationship. It's been really good for me to just kind of like, you know, play around a tender but not to just work on myself, man. Like I tell everyone else to do, doing it myself. I don't get it in the ship because you got really distracted by Maurice.

Hi, Emily. My name is Alexandra. I'm from Northern Ireland. I've only just found your show. I listen to Spotify and I just can't get enough of it. I love Ireland. So much. I love Ireland.

And you've made me feel very confident about my sexuality. More women need to take control of their sexual pleasure. You rock. Anyway, I've been with my boyfriend for three and a half years. And while the sex is great, we both get wonderful pleasure and are open to trying new moves. My issue, one that has been evident from the start of our relationship, I'm constantly

having to initiate and drive forward our sexual experiences. I'm the one that makes the first move and pushes the foreplay. I've tried to talk to him about it, but he says nothing. I know he's very body-conscious. He's on a slightly heavier side, but I love the way he looks. I'm so attracted to him. I boost his ego so much. He should be walking the streets naked and proud. What I really want to help with is, how do I get him to initiate sex with me? I feel like he doesn't want to sex with me unless I make him. Like you said in one of your podcasts, a common female fantasy is that of being dominated. That's what I want.

I got him to do this once before and I loved it, but it hasn't happened since. I'm exhausted from having initiated all the time. I want him to want me more. How do I do it? I'm not horrible to look at either if that helps. Thanks. Please help me, Emily.

Thanks, Alexander. See, this is a tough one, Alexandra. And I mean, it's not tough, but it's actually, I'm glad, I mean, I can understand why it's challenging for you. And I'm really glad that we got this email because there's a lot of guys out there who don't initiate sex for one reason or another. And I also want to point out, there's a big stereotype. There's a big cultural misconception that men always want sex and women don't.

That men are the ones who are pursuing, pursuing, pursuing a woman. I'm like, no, no, I don't want sex. But let me just tell you something. After 10 plus years, I hear from just as many women as I do for men that they're part and want to initiate sex. So let's just wash that down the drain, that whole theory, because it doesn't, it's not even true. But here's a thing about communication.

I understand that you've tried to talk to him about it, but the problem is a lot of people, like yourself think, well, I talked to him about it. I told him, and he didn't do it or he didn't once. And you think that that means that your partner is just regarding you and you think that he can't change. But we have to realize this behavior, to change a behavior, it doesn't happen overnight. It doesn't happen with you mentioning to your partner once or twice the need to change. Changing a behavior is a whole process.

It's like, you know, you need another plan because I'm sure he wants to please you. I'm sure that he wants to initiate sex with you and make you happy. But he's got some kind of like mental blocks And he doesn't know why he can't do it. I'm fairly certain and oftentimes it's very deep rooted and You know, it could be like he's afraid of rejection. Maybe his last girlfriend like said you died I don't like the way you initiate. I have no idea what it is But I think that she needs to get some information. Like, what about you? Are you more the initiator, Mattis, or does she initiate more?

Uh, now it's 50-50. It's 50-50. But actually, it used to be she would initiate more, like, kind of in the beginning of the relationship, because I didn't want to be like a creep, you know. Right, that's another reason a lot of guys don't. But now, yeah, it's now it's like 50 50 correct. That's good. That's healthy But I love it when women initiate right. It's great But she right but she won't initiate he won't

And they've been together It affects her self-esteem well that's the thing so a lot of women because we're told that men should always want sex The second our partner does initiate we think that it's because we're told that men should always want sex the second our partner does initiate We think that it's because we gain three pounds. We're ugly. We're not attractive It's all him nothing to do with you So he literally might not know how to initiate so what I say is have another top of them get curious Say don't me know. I've no I've asked you this before and I know you love pleasing me Love haven't sex to you, but when you think about initiating sex,

what comes up for you? Ask them. When you think about it or don't think about it, first of all, but clearly he's not thinking about it. But let's say I was like initiating right now, what stops you? What's the feeling that you have? Does he think he doesn't know what he's doing?

He wants anal and they don't have enough lube around? Well ask him, like, what would make it easier for you to initiate? Like, how could you help him? Because here's the thing, we often tell our partner something, and we're like, we don't, we're like, okay, I asked you once and I just want you to do it.

And then we think, well, if I really got to ask several times and it won't feel as authentic, but guess what, we're trying to get to the root of this so he will change. So, expecting him just to, out of the blue, start initiating is not realistic. No one changes that quickly. So, like, walk him through it, say, okay.

Then if he says, you know, maybe he'll tell you that, you know, he got rejected in the past or he doesn't really know what you want or he's afraid he doesn't know how to kiss you right. I mean, I don't know what the issue is. So, you can practice with him. You can say, so, Matt, it's a pretend you're my to kiss you right. I mean, I don't know what the issue is. So you can practice with them. You can say, so, Matt, it's pretend you're my boyfriend. All right.

Which I know you do anyway when you're fantasizing. Oh, yeah, I talked. So I could say, like, you know, I've been thinking about you kissing me all day. Yeah, cool. Yeah. So then, that's what I'm ready. Yeah.

Yeah, but like, I've been like really thinking about it. I think it'd be really hot if you like made out with me right now. Okay. Okay, then I'm so kissing you. Yeah, but you're initiating. See, I'm initiating it. See, the thing is you gotta say, say, hey, I think it'd be hot if like sometimes I come home

and then you just start. She's already said that, but I'm talking about it in the moment. In the moment. Hopefully if I said to you, but the way that you said it, it's kind of like, if I said to you, I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry, but I'm sorry Like maybe you know Alexander, like I actually want to come home and have him rip my clothes off and throw me against the wall. Maybe you show it to him. Be like this would be really hot. Because I know that you're tired of feeling

like the leader in this and you're feeling like you're not in control. So don't get angry, don't get mad, continue to show him love and affection but work with him on this. This could be like a fun game and I'll be like, oh, I get it. This is what you want because a lot of times we just don't know. Yeah. This could be like a fun game and they'll be like, oh, I get it. This is what you want, because a lot of times,

we just don't know. Yeah. We just don't know. That's it. Shout out to Ireland. Yo, love Ireland. Love it. Let's take this on the road.

I party, I'll be right back. I'm gonna ride that bike to Ireland with the Lou. Yeah, I do it. I might run out of Lou, but not if I have those things on the back and keep refilling it. Let's work on this. All right. Okay. We have time for. Yeah, work on this. All right. Okay.

We've time for. Yeah. Hello Emily. Hello Emily. Hello. I need help with the situation. I recently felt deeply in love. The sex is awesome.

Our personalities mesh well. We both have similar goals. But we recently had a rub. When I asked her, she would like to go to a go-go bar with me. I live in Virginia. So the laws forbid totally naked dancers. It's women's gippie-beat the suit's doing dancing sexy on the stage So it's a guy Assying girl that he's into to go to yes, they were driving past it in Virginia

Which is a strip club they don't have them there though He said there's a spur the moment thing we're just driving by but she got offended and she said if I go to a go-go bar It would be cheating. And then we had this long conversation, whether I would be going to go to one of those places again and what I would do there. And I told her it's no big deal. I used to go to the other with my buddies and have laughs.

And then she said, I then suggested we could go together. And I thought that might be sexy, because I know that some of my friends attend with their girlfriends or wives. And on the one hand, I'm a 33 year old adult. I feel like no one should tell me where I can and can't go. On the other hand, I don't want to hurt her. Am I being a hard headed?

Is she being insecure? Yeah. A little bit of both. How do I navigate this? Thanks, Jacob. He's 33. So he's driving past the Google bar and she's like, let's go in. And then she's like, oh my God, that's cheating.

That's a horrible place. And if you go, it's terrible. So this is a common scenario. Just like the porn thing, women are often confused by this. They don't understand why they're partners go to strip clubs. And some men do cheat and go to strip clubs. Some men do go there and they break the rules

of their commitment with their partners. But when I went through this in my early 20s, I was dating a guy and he often would go to a fairer brother's, Mitchell brothers in San Francisco. And I found the ticket in his apartment. We got tickets to go in and I was like, dude, you went to like, and I was so confused because I was like 24, I was like, you're in love. And I was like, why would you go to a show? I was truly, I was like, that doesn't make sense to me.

Like I didn't get the point that a lot of men just go and it's fun and you do it with your friends and it's kind of a pastime kind of like going to a game or like watching sports, but you're watching girls and bikinis. Well, if it's a fair old brother's, you're having a lot of fun. Okay, if it's a fair old brother's, you're going to have a job, but this place is not like that. So it sounds like she didn't understand, like have the depth of understanding about men and their needs for entertainment and for film.

And so if it's a new relationship, it could possibly be her first time ever understanding, like maybe she just thought it was for like creepy men, which a lot of times it is, a lot of times just for, it's for everyone, men, women and couples. But it's a discussion that you have to have if it's important to you. I mean, I don't, I agree.

I wouldn't want someone telling me what I can and cannot do. So you can ask her again to be specific. What does it make her feel when you say, I'm going to strip club? Like, what are her fears? Is she think you're gonna cheat? Does she think that she doesn't measure up to it?

You know, find out. What do you think, men? Has if you ever heard of this come up before, when would you like, forbidding their partners from going to strip clubs? Yes, definitely, definitely. I know a lot of, I've never been in the situation, but I have friends that have been in the situation

where their girlfriend or wife feel the same way that they go there, they're cheating, which I believe is a huge overreaction. But again, like as a guy going to a show club, is it really that important when you have a partner like who effing cares? You know, like, show clubs are such a waste of money. Well, he even said he hasn't like given money out, but there was a part of the email that he's done.

I mean, if you really don't care about strip clubs and your partner doesn't want you to go in there, then just don't go. Who cares? I know he's just upset because the principal. He doesn't want to be told what to do. Which I get. But I think that you could, if you really feel like you have to go and you don't want to be lying or about it, then just ask her like, what is this about? Like, what does it make you feel like this? She feel insecure. Do you need to reassure her and feel more secure? And I'm like, it sounds like a guy that really wants to go

and keep on going. But he doesn't really, yeah, I guess so. But I think it's more like, I think it wouldn't, it doesn't sound like he even goes that off and it was the principal. And I'm telling you, it has nothing to do with her wanting to restrict your behavior. I doubt she's very controlling in many other ways.

If you look at it, it's just that she has some insecurities around it. So that's why I say to that now Yes, so for all theater and it's the Mitchell brothers. Mitchell brothers. Oh fair theater in Zephyr to scowl to Sephyr and then there's There's a movie about their life. It's crazy. Oh, it's so good. You have to watch it. It's called rated X Watch it. And if you go to my YouTube channel, I think there's a video on there from 2007 where I interviewed a bunch of strippers there. Yes. It's a good YouTube video. I have to say, rated X.

It's a no, it's fast. It killed each other. The brothers, one of them died. Yeah. One's in prison. It's insane. I don't know. Check it out. It's a good story. So, but that's all we're talking about. We're okay. Ready? One more email. it's a good story. So, but that's all we're talking about. We're, okay, ready? One more email, that's a good one. Do it.

It's a good one to go out the bang. Why are you looking at me like that? Hi, cause I just love you. All right. Hi Emily, I'm a really sexual person. I love all sex positions, but I always seem to have lots of pain when I do doggy style. Is that normal or does it depend on the guy's size?

I usually have sex with black men. Thanks. Love your podcast, Jessica. I mean, when does she know what it is? Like, okay, do you? If you have a lot of pain, is it because of the thrusting or?

Jessica, here's the thing. Doggy style, great position. But it's also the one that allows for the deepest penetration. So if you happen to be with a man with a larger member, this thrust is going to be hitting your cervix and thrusting fully could really give you some pain. And so especially if you guys well end out, so there are modifications, you could try lying on the bed, like lying flatter on the bed and put some pillow

So you're raised just like slightly under your stomach So your butts a little in the air, but not like on all fours. Yeah, and then that way he can't go as deep You could also try to and this way you could also control how deep he goes because you're lying flatter But try other sex positions. I mean woman on top top, you can control the depth, the motion, you can control the speed, missionaries great, spoonings great. Like if you're in pain, it makes sense. You can also with larger penises, you know, use Marluban go slower, but if he's just thrust in a way, you in doggie style, that's gonna hurt. Yeah. Yeah. No, larger penises. He's going to pound town, and that's hurting you. So that's what I gotta say.

Sweet. This was good. Fun hanging out with you. So fun hanging out with you too. Everyone, thanks for listening to the show and find menace at menace on Instagram and NACE podcast and Twitter and at menace. I mean, NACE.

A lot of people from the Woody show listen to this ex-emily podcast and vice versa. It's cool. I know, I love it too. It's like cross-proced. Like we're married. Yeah. We're married of the two.

Yeah, I just love you all. And thank you, Madison and Lori and Jamie. And thanks everyone for listening. It was the good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithfamily.com. So when was the last time an app changed your sex life? And no, I'm not talking about Tinder. I'm talking about my app, Kegel Camp. It will increase your control, improve your sexual performance, and help you experience

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