Sex With Emily - Unblock Your Orgasms #IRL

Episode Date: May 27, 2017

The hardest part about having issues in the bedroom is asking for help. Never fear, because Emily is here, and her favorite thing in the world is helping people improve their sex lives and relationships. On today’s show, she’s helping callers figure out the best way to get past their coital conundrums and dating dilemmas. Struggling in the orgasm department with your beau? What are some great sex toy recs for a lesbian couple? Should you give your ex another shot? Emily and Anderson help callers get through these sex and dating issues and more. Plus, they discuss how some men watch so much porn, it’s causing penis problems! Tune in to get the scoop! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Sportsheets, System Jo, Magic Wand and Adam & Eve. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily and today's show I'm here with Anderson and we're taking your sex and relationship calls. Topics include trouble with orgasms, toys for hotter lesbian loving, wind to give an ex a second chance and what to do when your sexual past is haunting you. All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our secret institutions. Betrubized, they call them in a bygone name. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks. And we not talk about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It shrinks.

And we not talk about sex so much. Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. That's your one stop shop, you guys. For all the information that you need about sex with Emily, go to sexwithemily.com slash podcast to find our entire show archive, which I think you'll enjoy. I love getting your emails, you guys are like, I'm bingeing on all your episodes,

because there's a lot there, you guys, so you can kind of go through, see what you like, and then also, of course, follow me on social media. And I'd love to be following you on Facebook because, you know, we've like one on our Facebook page, we've got a lot of conversations, we post multiple times daily, you can share stuff, you can learn things, so check out our Facebook, it's a Facebook.com slash slash slash with Emily as well as at TechSeptMly on Instagram, Snapchat, Twitter, I'm available,

I'm actually answering all my snaps these Snapchat, Twitter, I'm available. I'm actually answering all my snaps these days. Hi, I'm here with Anderson. Hi. Hi. This is wonderful. No, I don't make dick pics. I don't.

You should send out some dick pics. Just, you know, send them out. Really? Yeah. Or send them back. That's what you do. When you get a dick pic from somebody, it's like, all right, here's the giant one. Like somebody else's stuck, you know what I mean?

Fire back. Fire back. from somebody it's like all right here's a giant one like somebody else I'm not gonna be a fire back but you know it's so funny Anderson because I had a I was telling this but I'll tell you that it complete story my friend was in town from Chicago you know she's a mom three kids and I forget that some of my life is not normal when you're roommates in college right she comes visit me and I'm like hanging out in my house for you know drinking outside it was a very fun weekend and you called me. I did call you wish you ever think we spoke that day that you're having a few drinks with your friend Yeah, that was a different friend. Oh, I've had like 18 visitors in town for the last two social butterfly No, it's too much. Okay, I can't handle stop visiting us stop visiting me. I love you, but don't visit me But no, she was amazing, but it was funny,

because at one point, we're like going through my phone, and I'm just showing her Snapchat, we're doing snaps, and then all of a sudden I'm like looking at my messages, she's like, is that a penis? I'm like, yeah, I just delete it. She's like, well, do you get those? That's like the dick pic. I'm like, yeah, I get them.

I just delete them, look, and then I show her a block, and she's like, no way, find another one. How many ticks you get a day? Dicks in a day? Yeah. I don't know, a few weeks maybe. Sometimes there's like many like and then I just, yeah, I block you so you can no longer ever follow me at Snapchat, which my snapshots are a good time and you don't want to miss them, but you're like, you're a life, really, with those,

her, my hair Chicago accent. She got me. Michigan. You and all the dick pics. Good to see you Anderson. Good to see you. I've not seen you in forever. It's been too long.

I know it's been way too long and thing you came today with a special guest. I did, I brought my son. His son. He's a great guy. He's a great guy. He seeing you in forever. It's been too long. I know. It's been way too long. And, um, thing you came today with a special guest. I did. I brought my son.

His son. His first baby in the sex of the Emily office. Yes. Speaking of dick pics, that's dirty and gross because she just did some snapchats with my, uh, seven month old boy. Yeah. It turned seven months today, actually. Oh my God.

Happy birthday, Adicus. Yeah, Adicus. Wow. And it'll be weird. We got a cupcakes. In the feed somebody responded with a dick pic. It's like, yeah, Adicus. And it'll be when we got a cupcakes. In the feed, somebody responded with a dick pick. It's like, yeah, I'm sorry, right? One of those created him. No.

But there's no other connection. Exactly. And they're going to be like, so you see other things on my feed that like, you got a baby, but it's your baby. And happy birthday, Tio. Thank you. Thank you, thank you. Yeah, that's what I talked to. I don't remember who was in town.

Was I drinking? You were having a few, yeah. Couple. Which, you know what? It's probably a couple like shock glasses of wine for you. I can't drink that much. You seem drunk. It's true.

It's perfect. I would never be an alcoholic, but it's a few drinks. I love it. It's so good to be back in these studios. I gotta tell you, I've missed it. I miss you. I miss you too. I miss you too.

I miss you. I miss you too. Well, I think it's time and now that you're super dad. What's it called? Stayed home dad. Stayed home dad. Stayed home dad. And yeah, I appreciate it. The boy is out in the other room. I can already hear him starting to whimper.

So hopefully this goes, but let's see how it happens. Yeah, whimpering babies. That goes right along with sex because that's how it happened. I assume that you have had sex with your wife. Yes, that's how we created him. Ever since the baby. You know, for the first six months, he was in the room with us sleeping in the room and his little pack and play they call it.

Right, it's snug and a bug. And there's nothing like a deal killer than crying baby in the middle of the night. No. Plus, after a woman gives birth, naturally. Oh, natural birth. There's some time off there. You're definitely. He has now moved to the nursery.

He's in the crib. And we find spots here and there to make it happen. We'll do little bets. Like I bet we can finish before he starts crying. Yeah. That's what happens. How's your sleep? I don't sleep more than two hours at a time,

but other than that, I'm getting like six and a half, seven hours a night, but it's just interrupted throughout. Right, so maybe not the most arrested sleep. I would not recommend children before you're done with your party days for sure. How do you do it? Well, you're done with your party days for sure. How do you do it? Well, I guess it ends your party days right away. I think that most people just like me, they stop drinking because they have kids.

That's the only way that you're. I was really angry. You don't drink anymore? Barely. Because I can't really sleep it off in the morning anymore. I gotta get up in the day. I used to wake up like 11 and you'd be up to, I know the state is over. I think change is good.

Don't you think? It's a transition, but I think it's probably good for you. It's called like adult time. I don't miss it that much. Now I look forward to him, we're getting nine, 10 years old and we can share some beers. Yeah, exactly.

Exactly. He's nine for sure. You're great to add, I love it. And so, yeah, well, I'm glad you're back. And, you know, I'm really glad because it's May. And I would, you know, I'd be- Is it's May and I would you know I'd be masturbation month exactly Literation. Yeah, that's not why I better sure I didn't make it up, but sure. I love a iteration. It's easy Right, it's easy. It's kind of lazy, but easy sounds

Mother's day is in May Mother's day mother's day Memorial day masturbation month. I think it all is because of Yeah, but also because why the hell not? It's a good month and I think there's five weeks in it or that last week. No, it's a big month. Do you celebrate it? Are people meant to go out and celebrate it in various ways, like beat off in different locations?

That's a really, really good question. I wouldn't necessarily recommend different locations, but I'd recommend different, you know, positions, try some, yeah. If you always do what the right do with the left, if you've been wanting to mutually masturbate with your partner, which I'm a huge fan of, you can do that, and just put some time into it

because masturbation, there's so many complaints and so many challenges that people have around their sex lives and we interpreted to like stress, so we've interpreted to like maybe too much meds or not enough sleep, but but really I think once you keep going with a regular masturbation and you keep keep it top of mind and you start understanding your body it makes you feel good it actually is really healthy just as important as exercise. So you're speaking five minutes to the ladies. No, what? What?

Fifty-five minutes? What? No, five minutes ten minutes. You know, we use the woman eyes or take a minute. But the thing is that is that it's just, I just think that we think that our sex life is so set, and it's just, it's like the static like we have. This is how we masturbate, and we always do that to the end of time, but it's like we have so much capacity for pleasure, and so I think it's a great month to be like, you know what, I've been wanting to dab a little bit more and figure out what makes you feel good and men too. Yeah men too like. Men want to last longer. There's a good challenge. All guys listening to this they can try a fefee for the first time.

If you've never done a fefee you learn how to make one of one of them. Pretty much it's like a flesh light but they invented them in prison a long time ago. So you like to take a toilet roll and you put or in a ziplock bag and you put some warm water in there and some some lube and you use it. Yeah you can do that. What's your make up fefee? You know it's so funny. or in a ziplock bag and you put some warm water in there and some some lube and you use it. Yeah, you can do that. What's your makeup fee fee? You know it's so funny.

In honor of masturbation months, give it a shot. Right, it's almost over. I should have done that. But you know what? The fee fee, it's funny because there's a new toy that came out called the fee fee and he made it. I did not know that the origin was from prison. And it's the same thing.

It's a male masturbation thing and he uses like a, yeah, it looks like a wash cloth and it's wrapped in a thing and I met him in Germany. Oh, I met him in Germany. I met him in Germany. And he's like, well, my feet, no, I was at a sex twite, trade show. I would hope so. And yeah, that's funny. Yeah, that's funny in Germany.

So, but yeah, I met him in Allie. It was a good time. That's really funny about that. And there's one more thing I have to say on masturbation, because we're never done. Just like you're never done masturbating. You're talking collectively to the listeners, no me. Okay. I don't know.

I want to know, well, you could. Feedback at sexbelme.com. Here's the thing, you guys. We're doing, you guys only have three days left, but you can do this. I want to hear you to email me your favorite masturbation routine. How do you do it? How does it go down? What are you watching?

What's even, do you have a special ritual? A toy that you love, music you listen to, a scent that turned you on, email me using the Ask Emily tab. It's actually Emily your feedback and if you're over 18 submit your email before midnight. I'm May 31st. You'll win a prize perhaps if we like it your story. You want videos of these guys? No videos masturbating. Okay. You'll be blocked. Should we have one that again? You will be blocked. Also, I have a subscription box. It's a sex with Emily subscription box on my website.

In this month, it's about masturbation, mutual masturbation. People are loving the boxes. It's by unbound box on my website. So people love boxes. They do. They do. I was going to call Emily's box. Emily's box is not bad.

It's pretty good. It is a pretty good one, right? Oh my god, you know what happened to be this funny? Three really weird things that you'd appreciate, because you just said Emily's box, and I was thinking, so I've been a little, there's a lot going on. And I left to go spinning this morning,

because I like spinning. Oh, spinning. I've got some new sex thing, you know what I have a new, no, I would tell you about that. But I have a new alarm at my house, because I'm a little, let's get a house, and I'm nervous like, I'm not awake up alarm, like a interior coming in. No, I don't have a hail arms, but an alarm's real can alarm at my house. Cause I'm a little, let's look at the house and I'm nervous like, I'm not awake up alarm, like a interior coming in.

No, I don't have a hail alarm, but an alarm is real, okay, I'm at my house. So it's a new thing, and my friend called me and she was going through something and I was getting ready to get out the door at like eight, which to me is like kinda early to leave, get up and like getting my clothes out and she'd call me and she's like, I'm late.

So I leave the house, so I'm the door, getting a car to drive to the studio. And all of a sudden, this, my phone starts ringing. And it's like an 855 number, not 800, and I ignore it. And I'm like, oh card to drive to the studio and all of a sudden this my phone starts reading and it's like an 855 Number not 800 and I ignore it and I'm like oh no and I hang up and I get it It's 18 T calling your alarm. I forget that I said the alarm I felt that I left and the alarm was on because I turned it on I go to bed. So you set off your own alarm So they call me and she's like hi hi, so you're gonna become friends with this woman. Oh, it's gonna happen all the time

No, dude, we are best friends. She's like so It's 18 T. I'm like, oh my God, do you love them? Do I have to go back home? I don't want you to just give me your passcode. I'm like, oh my God, I gave them one word. And I remember when the AT&T guy gave me his house for like eight hours. And he's like, pick something, like,

what are you doing for living? And I'm like, I have a sex talk show. He's like, I'm like, penis. And he's like, yeah, you can do penis. And I'm like, but I don't want to do penis when the person like calls me. So in that moment, like I couldn't remember. And she's like starts singing a little song to kind of help me remember it. Cause it did.

I don't want to tell everyone my password. I don't know. But I was like, oh my god. I'm like, fuck, fuck. I'm sorry. Please, I don't call the police. Like I got it. She was laughing.

She was laughing. Finally, she was giving me all these clues. And it was awesome. And then I guess ditched. She's like, okay, girl, write that down. I'm like, I will. Then I got to spinning and I got there and I forgot my wallet spinning. So cycle. Do you know spinning? Yeah, it's where you get on like. Yeah, but it's like intense. So I get there, I go to park, I don't know my wallet. So I'm like, oh, I'm going to take it.

The class is expensive. It's like a typical day of yours, isn't it? No, it's not. One of these things would be typical, but three and I'm talking to my friend still. I'm like, oh, shit, I forgot my wallet. I walk in the studio to sign, it's very hard to get these classes, and I put my name down and I'm like, oh, you're in the other studio in Hollywood, that was Hollywood.

So there was a lot of error that went on the phone. Like, location. But it was all in like a different location. Like, like 10 minutes away. Oh, yeah. But they let me in, but it was fine. So, that was my story, my morning and my life. But yeah, that is interesting.

These things that happen that you think happen me all the time. They do happen to you all the time. Because they think, you're my favorite chaotic friend. I don't have any chaotic friends left. I got rid of all of them, except for you. Because you and you allow me to your own your child, because you see I'm good at kids.

Because you're great, you're great. You're one of the few chaotic people that is just a really good person. So you should chaotic people, they get so stressed out with themselves, that they take everything out on everyone else. I just take that. And they don't think that any of it's their fault, they blame the world and the universe, but you don't do that.

You just realized. I know it's my fault, 100%. And you go with it. Yeah, I'm like, I know this is nothing new than of you. I apologize a lot. No, it's going to be like, I'm sorry, I apologize for me being a cat. But it works. I have chaotic family members. Here's the thing, it's good, I'm sorry, I apologize for me being a catac, but it works. Here's the thing.

I have chaotic family members. Here's the thing, it works for me. I've learned to accept it and know that that's part of my genius and my talent. And you can talk about the ridiculousness of it on here on this show. You get to vent. With you.

There's only certain things I can talk to you about, Anderson. Like porn, we're going to get into sex in the news. How about that? Men are watching so much porn, they can't get erections, IRL. IRL. In real life. In real life.

No, we've talked about this before, about how men keep trying to, they have to keep raising. Up in the ante, as a great style of part-episode about this. This happens, it's the same with drugs too. It's like you start doing drugs, you smoke a little weed, it's good, and then you do a little weed,

and alcohol is good, and then you start adding up, and then before you know you're slaming speedballs, because that's only the way you can get high. Exactly. So that's what men are doing with porn, but here's the bad news. Internet porn may be more widespread than ever, but a growing number of scientists are becoming concerned about its toxic effect on real relationships. Excessive pornography viewing could be affecting men's libidos and putting them at risk of sexual dysfunction, according to new research

So they studied all these participants 312 male participants between 20 and 40 the study showed that men who's been a lot of time on Frecites like porn hub the less likely they are going to be able to connect with a real-life partner in the bedroom and their real intimacy Becomes jeopardized and so they did study, and they found a close correlation between excessive pornography use and sexual dysfunction. And they're revealed that around 20% of men reported using porn three to five times a week, and four percent of men preferred masturbating to pornography over having sexual intercourse

with the partner. Four percent. Four percent, that's a lot. I feel like they're lying. I feel like they would be higher. I worked with Adam Kroler for a long time. One of his funnier things was, you know, we always talk about sex. He's like, yeah,. I feel like he would be higher. I worked with Adam Krola for a long time One of his funnier things was you know we always talk about Sex he's like yeah sure. I like sex. It's just not as good as the real thing

Meaning masturbation. I guess the real thing. That's good. I'm having dinner with his wife tonight. Lynette. Oh, I love Lynette She's the best I got Lynette Krola's podcast So strange that she's married to him like how does how does she deal? She's such a sweet great person I love her. I guess we'll talk about it tonight. I don't know. I don't know. First question. One time he yelled at me for being in the parking lot.

Order appetizers and say, how did you end up with Adam? It just doesn't make sense. Okay, I'll do that. So here's the thing about this. I think that we get so many emails about masturbating and porn lately, like just the basic stuff that got women concerned about their partners doing it or men want to know what am I doing it too much,

but this is really showing that yeah and I don't want everyone to freak out right now a few times a week even every day is fine if you're doing it if you're doing it in a responsible way but if you feel like yeah you know what I'm not just turned out by my partner and I feel like I can only do it with this certain kind of porn and I keep raising it's getting more and more intense the porn that I'm watching. The good news is that there's something you can fix. You can just kind of back off the porn. Like easier said than done.

Yeah, that's like Dr. Phil answer, right? No, but dude, but that's like heroin. Like just stop the heroin. But I don't think it's nearly as addictive in the sense of your whole life, you're masturbating. Fine. Everything was fine until about three years ago when it became so five years ago, when it becomes porn hub become like free and easy and anywhere on your phone? Whenever one started getting the DSL and the high I before we never wait like you know

Three hours for two minute clip to download. I think that you know Okay, so years but I think that the porn there's so much more porn now that speaking to every kind of sexual proclivity You could have I feel like it's not like it's going to be easy, but you can reverse. You say, okay, you know what, I want to right now. I'm going to turn some, but I'm just going to go back to using the old memory. It's Bank Bank. Going back to the Love Line days, which I lean on quite a bit on this here show with you. I remember people that would put off the climax and be looking at porn for like an hour or two hours

at a time, that's when you're really in trouble. That's when it's really like, it can be considered an addiction if you're injuring yourself, making yourself raw down there. Or if it's, I mean, just to go back to what drew it, I would always say, if you're having negative consequences on your life or your job or your significant others, then it's a problem. Right. That's one's a problem. Negative consequences mean you're masturbating so much, you've got fired from your job,

right? You don't want to sex through. You keep calling it six, you just want to hang out and masturbate for hours. It's like a messy room. At the same time, there's a newer generation that doesn't remember what it was like when you'd have to wait the said five, six hours for a short little video to download. And they have been looking at porn since they're like, you know, 12, 13 years old since puberty.

And I can't imagine what sex would be like, I feel so bad for those girls that have to deal with those guys and expect. And this is going on for like 10 years. I know, I know. These are like, these girls are all having sex now and the other. It's all porn style sex.

I know. And that's what they think they have to do to have sex. So they have to act like a porn star, look like a porn star. The good side of that is usually the semen doesn't end up inside except for the cream pie type videos which some guys are into. But, you know, their facials or like, you know, it's all about decorating the woman. Less pregnancies. Dude, that's...

We all need less pregnancies, right? I like your way. I like that you can look at the upside there but then that means women are getting coming their face And I don't want it. But still babies don't come out of their nose or their eyes. So it's good. It's not so good Yeah, it's all fun and games. So someone gets shot in there. I would come. Is there happening? There's actually a It's like a pink guy and it's all about Yeah, I'm gonna see what I mean. Pink I was not around 10 years ago. It shouldn't be around today

That's so terrible thrill pink guy So anything to say about that? I would want to see that. Who would want, you know what? I need to take it up a level. Yeah, I want to get come shot of my eye. You know you're really in trouble too. If you feel like you've looked at everything and you're a straight male or female, this mainly goes for the guys. If you're a straight guy and you're thinking, you know what? I've seen it all. Nothing's really getting me. I'm going to try the gay porn. Let's see. Let's give that a shot. The gay porn?

Yeah, because it's like the only level of the pornographic internet that they have not looked at, because they're straight. But if you're going to that extreme, you think gay is the most extreme for men? If you're straight, yeah. Okay. Do you know what it's like to be a straight man

and see gay porn? No, I don't. It reacts, some kind of primitive thing goes off in your brain and it becomes threatened. Maybe that's a good thing for guys to do who are straight and they're addicted to porn that's ruining their life. They watch that and they're done. How do you do that though? What?

Just the only porn you're allowed to look at is porn that you're... Yeah, gay porn. The farting scene. The ur foil from. Yes, yes. It's like quitting smoking when you... They're looking for a feminine guy. And they kind of squint to make it look like a girl just cuz they're so hard up

I don't know dude. I just think that you guys were all you're all in control It's no one's putting the computer in front of you making you do it. You can it's it's real hard. It's difficult It's difficult. I never see I don't watch enough porn. That's my problem and I feel like it's not everywhere I never come across it. I'm never like oh porn. How I met I was on Amazon. Oh look. There's porn up that doesn't happen to me Amazon doesn't lead you to porn. Oh nothing dies. I'm never like, oh, porn help. I was on Amazon and look, look, there's porn help. That doesn't happen to me. Yeah. Amazon doesn't lead you to porn? No, nothing dies. I'm like shopping or looking at sex stuff.

And you think with all my sex research that I do and sex online, I would come across. Yeah. Never. I have to look for it because I should get my phone. Do people win their mass pain? Or do they? Or do they?

They're starting to like, like true car ads. I don't know if it's actual true car, but like mainstream ads are actually finding their way into porn now Really like you're watching it and they're like true car. Yeah, we'll talk about True car necessarily, but like I've seen some actual ads that pop in there Do you think they you know what actually not that I would say to do this, but there's probably some kind of Connection to that like some kind of subluminal when you're in that state about to masturbate. I don't know what you guys feel like for your masturbate.

You're like hungry or you're like, hungry. Don't get up to pee. But you're like, and then all of a sudden you see this car ad or something, you're like, I must have the car or like, burning. You associate, yeah. It could be some behavioral thing. Yeah, behavioral, I don't know, it sounds dangerous. Could I just say that I appreciate you saying porn and not

porn. There's something. When people say, Porno usually people like our age are a little bit older. They say, Porno and it's just like, I never said that word. So 70, so gross. I just picked from my stashes.

And bushes. And bushes. We had a Porno. No, I don't say that. Was that sex in the news? I just realized that we just did sex in the news. You've said it's over. I don't realize that. Dude, this is exciting. I'm out of practice with you. I love the sex in the news? I just realized that we just did sex in the news. You said it's over. I don't realize that. I don't realize that.

Dude, this is exciting. I'm out of practice with you. I know. I love the sex in the news. Did you want to do anything more sex in the media? I think it's call time, right? Yeah, so you guys, we are going to be taking your calls here. So I love this.

You're first and give a shout to our sponsors. Thank you, everyone, for supporting them. You know, I only talk about products and services that I love, that I've used, that I appreciate and I know you will too. So thanks for supporting them and to help keeping the show free. We love you. Hello, how are you? I got to Emily and Anderson. Hello baguette. I get it. I get it. It rhymes with baguette, right? Well, baguette. Well, thank you, you're 25 years old. And let me how I can help you. So first of all I'm very happy to be on your shows and so I've been dating a guy for

I would say six months and it's been very great but my problem is that I can't orgasm when he goes down on me or he uses sexes or some like this, whereas when I'm alone, I manage to orgasm so I don't know why and I don't know what I can do to because it's her first, thinking about the rest. Okay, well, I think, first of all, it's great that you can orgasm on your own, because this is a very common question we could ask. And because it's just not, you know, orgasm with a partner is very difficult for most women. The majority of women have this challenge. So you're totally fine.

I hate using the word normal, but it's normal. And if you know how to do it on your own, it's the kind of thing you got to incorporate it when you're with your partner, just show them. And say, this is what I do. You can do some mutual masturbation. You can show them exactly how you want to be touched because he wants to please you.

I'm certain. Yes, yes. But when I was with my ex, and when she went down on me, I orgasmed. So I don't know why it has a kind of a... Make sure you tell the new guy that. No, don't tell your wife from that. Listen, do you remember... The motive it'll...

So here's the thing, he probably did it exactly. The last guy did it, don't do that. But I think that do you remember what your ex did and what this guy's Because you can give and know you don't remember The problem because I come to my ex and say That'd be awesome if you could interview me like listen. I have nothing to say to you, but I have a question Just bring a minute put them on the bench. I don't like coaching the bench So here's the thing I think that you could probably know

like when your ex is going, when you're sorry, when your boyfriend's going down on you, does it start to feel good and then something happens and it's like, doesn't feel good or does it never feel good? No, it feels good, but it's like I'm reaching some kind of, I don't know, level and I can't go for a job and I can't go together, I don't know. Never, and I can't go further, and I can't go together. I don't know.

Some kind of look at it. I don't know. I think that, yeah, you know what? Here's the thing. I think you got, how long have you been with him for six months? So I think that you have to, in the moment, be present with him and show him, like, guys, a lot of guys don't know, like, because every woman is different. Maybe his last girlfriend liked him going down in her in a certain way,

and he's doing the same thing with you. So you just need to be the director here. You need to say, in the moment, can you try this? Can you go softer, can you go slower? Can you, a lot of guys go too fast, too hard? Maybe you need a little more foreplay, and then also you could bring a toy in. Now, it can-

He said she used the toys. Okay, so I think that this could also be in your mind that you're thinking it hasn't happened, it hasn't happened, and so you're like, it's just not gonna, and we do that. A lot of this stuff is just in our head and it's gonna stop you from orgasming. So that's why I suggest start with some mutual masturbation

when he's in the room and you guys are both getting off. And then you've done it with him in the room, he sees what you're doing, you see what he's doing, you know what turns him on, you're learning, it's hot, and then go from there. But... Maybe I put too much pressure on me, I don't know. It, you are, no, I'm gonna tell you right now

that there's nothing wrong with you, and you probably likely are putting a lot of pressure on yourself, because your thinking, is it gonna happen? And that's what we do, we block our orgasms. We're like cock blocking, but orgasm blocking, and we like get so scared it's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. And that is what happens. So I try to just get it out here. Know that it will happen. Believe that it will happen and try mutual masturbation with them. Okay?

Okay. Okay. Good. Let me know what goes. Okay. I think in a way, I know it'll work. There's nothing wrong with you at all because you can ever and you like your boyfriend Get over this hump. Okay. Get out of your head into your body hump. Okay. Thank you so much. Try some wine too and like loosen up Okay, thank you for calling Thank you, bye I took French too. Oh wow wow. We really utilized it there. I did, but I didn't, I don't know how to say. I took like, oh wow, goodbye.

Hello, is that, yeah. I just did a fun jurors, hello. But then goodbye. We is yes. We yes. So, Paul, Paul, say, I'm in the porn magazine, we, oh you are. Yeah, yeah, do.

So, that's interesting. So, I hope I can under, I mean, we can understand, I can understand her. Yeah, and she's probably gonna hear, I guess probably gonna hear this as well. So, you know, get under, I mean, we can understand, I can understand. Yeah, and she's probably going to hear, I guess probably going to hear this as well. So, you know, after her, she hears her call, she's probably going to hear you continue to talk about it and so many. As you should. And a lot of other people probably have this, this problem too. Oh my God, this is probably one of the most

special girls. Because like you said, they're all different. Guys aren't going to have, well, they'll be here and there, but for the most part, guys are dumb. So this guy that she's dating right now is probably dumb. And he probably thinks, well, this worked for my last girlfriend, just like you said. So, he needs to be some kind of communication, even if it's not verbal. Like maybe, you know, like she taps them to let them know a little faster or slower. Right. She shows them with her fingers, what she does, what she's-

We'll cover that with the mutual, what you pointed out. Right. But like, I've always said, like, if he just really pays attention to her body language and how- and we didn't even ask if she's faking or not, but she better not be faking, because that all really screw everything up. Yeah, faking no on fake, oh. So, yeah, I think that the kind of thing, if this is happening with you, that, yeah, you can show your partner and also just because it hasn't happened, doesn't mean it's

not going to happen yet. And I think that women, since our orgasms are not a sure thing, I think that guys worry that they're going to come too fast and women worry that they're never going to come at all. Yeah, you guys get so stuck up in your head. I know. And so I think that if you can just somehow. That's why I said wine.

But you know what she's French? She's probably been drinking such a like eight. Yeah, exactly. It's a problem. I think that yeah, just get out of your head into your body when you find yourself thinking, oh, I'm not going to come this time. Just like get back into your body and feel it and breathe.

All right. Or just think of the last guy. Let's go. Think of the X. OK right, let's think of the last guy. Let's go. Think of the X. Okay, our next call is Kevin 27 from Seattle. And he's got some questions about anal play, butt plug, anal toys. Kevin, I'm here to help with Anderson.

So what up, Kevin? He loves anal. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. Good morning. So, yeah, my question is, my wife, she likes so anal stuff.

We caught anal sex about five years ago, and it didn't go so well. I didn't turn her on all the time. We didn't use enough room. But she likes it when I touch her around her ends. And then also when I lick it. Are you inside of her? I just want to ask you something. Yeah.

OK, so that wasn't great to hear. So she. I heard the question though. Okay, so I want to just repeat the question. Okay, so the question, Kevin, was that you guys tried to figure out a few years ago, it didn't go well. It didn't go well because you used a lot of lube and it doesn't feel good. A lot of people have first time anal-gone-wrong stories.

And now you want to try again. And the good news is that she likes it when you're touching around her butt and you're starting to build up to it again, which is exactly what I would tell you to do, that if a couple's new at anal or wants to rebuild their anal memory and have a good experience, is there's so many nerve endings in it, just right outside. So if you just put some, make sure you've like, clean hands and you wash your hands and use a lube and you like, take your finger and go around her, that, you know, her butt, the opening and you start to like play with it.

She'll start, you know, You see how she reacts to that. Then you can get some toys before you jump right into Aino. Let's see if she gets comfort with it. I would recommend we have a toy on my site from FT London. They have a butt plug that's killer Anderson's holding in his hand right now, but it's not used. It's called, he wanted to know if it was used. It's a F-D-L-D butt plug, it's amazing, and it also comes as a finger, you can get the finger ring, that

they have this finger vibe, which I love, it's the G-ring, and it's a remote control for the butt plug, which is really cool. But also, there's like anal beads are fun too, but I feel like you guys just have to get comfortable with, like, the reason why a plug's good is because she can wear it inside of her, like, own or with you to kind of start to get comfortable with the play. What? I don't know when she's going to the doctor. I remember you were, I don't think it was in your butt, but something fell out of you.

My kegoballs. Well, while you're in the market or something. I was just getting a really important TV meeting, wearing wide-like pants and a little ball. Don't let your wife wear these things in meetings anywhere Maybe you're on the house during four play she could wear it. Oh, do you guys have kids? Okay, do you have kids Kevin? No, we don't all the plot play does it if you're obsessed with the bug

You're not gonna have a lot of kids because I was just thinking like if it fell out by mistake and one of their toddlers God I hold of it that be bad too, but he doesn't So is that does that answer your question like I because a lot of times it doesn't go well because people don't do it right But I think if you start to get her comfortable with that area and like getting turned on and it's great for women to To first get like given orgasm have her have a literal or whatever kind of orgasm She has I've in of course and then start to play because then that everything she's already turned on and aroused orgasm she has. I've been, of course, and then start to play because then that everything she's already turned on and aroused. Yeah. Kevin, it sounds like you figured out that she's into it, but you guys haven't

actually come out and verbally talked about it. Is that true? I would talk about it a little bit. We both talk about both getting wet plugs or something something that I like, we have a small needle bead, and she likes that. Okay. I mean, you're already there and she likes that. I mean, you're already there. Just take that. You're good, yeah. If she's already kind of giving you the green light,

is it worried why don't you just take the next step? I mean, she's not going to, like, doubt she's going to go out and order the anal beads off Amazon, or the grad, then the next step sounds like you already have some. But you just do the next step. Don't freak her out by getting way into it though. Maybe once every two or three times, you try something a little bit more.

Yeah, like, lick it and use your finger or every time. Who knows? She wants to build up. Don't for some women they can... I know the women get a little bit freaked out when they're when their man is just obsessed with the butt. That's true. And that's all that he cares about. Well, it's changed from woman to woman. That's your wife. So you know, I think that that's but it's good news that she's getting comfortable with it. You're doing the right thing, go slow during this whole

process, and especially when you do finally have anal. That's when you go really, really slow. Now, there's a bunch of stuff on our website, if you just like literally search anal, we have a lot of stuff on there about, like toys and stuff we like, but is there anything else I can help you with? Have we helped you with your anal explorations? You have to have an anal, but I had one question when I was going to do a recent podcast. I like to go down on her a lot, but I never used a loop to this. Is there a benefactor to me using a loop on hers

at just a taste at all? Absolutely. I'm so glad you asked that. It's funny. We've getting so many questions about that because here's a thing, that the clitoris is not self-looperating at all. It's not just, it's not going to do that. So if you, if you add a few drops of lube, I love joe lube. If you're into this, the flavored lube is great, salted caramel. They have like passion,

crème brulee. The point is you put a few drops, you don't need a ton, and just to get it going, it's not that she's probably, I'm sure she will get wet, but it just, it just feels good. Like it's a different kind of wet that just won't get her going and so I would say yes Try it and then I think it might she's gonna get more turned on quicker and a little less work for you Awesome, you're trying it tonight, then oh, I love it. Okay, go on my website because we've got a store there We've got the F2 London plug and we also have the joe lubes all the different flavors Let me know how it goes Kevin have a fun night. I know you will

Okay, bye thanks Kevin. I'll be thinking about you. That's not Kevin I'm gonna be thinking about you and your wife having it. It sounds like that's what you're gonna do I mean that but I really can I tell you and I know that you can't do this you know this after 17 years on love line I really do want everyone though to tell me how it goes like I'd love Kevin to like Call back and say later. I'm be like everyone to tell me how it goes. Like I'd love Kevin to like call back and say, come later and be like how to go to night at an anel. No, really, like I feel like we're sort of helping people

but then it's like I'm sending them off and I don't know what has. Right, I mean that's the nature of this bizzies. So it's rare. Rarely get the follow-up, she rarely get to hear out of it. I want to know how it went and I will bring in talk to you again. Call me.

Okay, we've got another call. Can we just assume that they have passionate anel sex and they're good to go? Well, people keep listening to the show so I'm thinking it's helping someone. A lot of people. Millions of people. You don't know that we had a huge surge of new listeners, do you? Surge, how'd you do that?

I paid for it. I don't know. We all of a sudden had like our mode, we like over a month, more and more something, lots of nonsense. Oh, look at that really. Yeah, dude, like a half, it was up like 50%, 60%, like a double. Congrats. Yeah you have no idea how or why. I think the show is just really that good. I bet it's because China is just open up their internet. China iTunes wasn't a lot over there. Do we have more people from

China? No. No. Well then that's not wrong. It was a theory. How about it's just really good. I bet it's because it's really good. And you've been here. So maybe that's it. Oh, such a. OK, next caller. Next caller. OK. Ooh, I love this.

Our next caller's bet's, she's 20 people organ, and she's got some questions about sex toys. Hi, bet. Thanks for calling in. I'm here with Anderson. Hey, bet's. So, hi, Anderson. Hi, Emily.

Hi. Tell me everything. How can we help you? So my girlfriend and I have been in a relationship for about eight months. And we, we've both had any pre-experience with same-sex relationship. And so we just think we're going about together.

It has been very good so far, but we haven't got any, really, any equipment in the picture yet. And I was just wondering if you have any suggestions, especially because I know that you talk about for a whole time on your show, but it's mostly in reference to masturbation and stuff like that. So do you have any ideas for same-sex couple?

Yeah, that's a really great question. So I would think, yeah, I mean, what kind of thing are you guys? Do you want more like, literal toys you think? Are you interested in any, like, would you want to use like, strap-ons? I mean, how do you guys... I was never done for anything, yeah. Okay. Have you had to...

I would say, God, have you ever used a toy before in your life? I have, yeah. Okay. And what did you like? What kind of toy? Did you use it? I like a little, I like a little finger vibrator and I really like that one. But I really, I haven't used that many, so I don't have much of experience to draw from.

Okay, yeah. I think that, okay, so I think that, I mean, the good news is you guys can totally play around with each other and kind of figure out, you guys already know really what's making you feel good. Do you do any, if you're interested in like G-Spot toys or stuff like that, I mean, you could buy a strap on toy. That's more of like an advanced, like wearing a strap on and a dildo on it.

If you want to do that, we have a bunch of those on my website. Would that be on your website? Okay, it's on my website. I'm trying to think we could find one that I could recommend. Like, sport sheets makes one. That's really great.

I love all the sport. You guys into bondage at all? Playing blindfolds? No, not really. Okay. What about those ones that were like, they connect with your phone app, and she could be wearing the underwears there,

while they're away from each other, and they can use the app. That's true. Well, here's the thing. Yeah, those are great ones too. So I think that the raven and the mobile by Weebib. And then do you climax with the internal or the external? Betts.

More external. Yeah. do you do climax with the internal or the external bets more external yeah so i mean you should be able to what about her i think that panty vibes i've been talking about these lately like i love vibe that you guys are going out and put some of the kiki stuff though i think that you want uh... because there are these panty vibes that you can remote could like one of you could have a remote control and you know you can be wearing out like when you're in public

and stuff, but I think that I think you should just get some, the good news is you're both there and you're playing around together, like you can share toys, just keep them clean. I would use like, I would get some Wee Vibes toys because they're my favorite, they make the best I think literal vibes. I'm obsessed with the wish, okay, I just had to like,

I'm totally trying to think, this is why I love the wish. This is the new Wee Vibes toy and it's, so you know the Clitoris has so many nerve endings. I'm like you've heard of it. 8,000 nerve endings however the thing about the wish is that it works on your internal and external Clitoris like the Clitoris has legs right. So it's like a squishy ball and it fits over your entire like your pelvic, your pubic mound, your pelvic floor wherever you want up like your pelvic floor, your, um, labia, your whole area. It's like not just a typical, um, little toy.

So I love the wish and you guys can share that and move around. I think that's a great one. I think that you could get the FT London has a ring vibe. It's called the, the G ring. And the reason why I love this one is because your finger, it's a powerful waterproof vibrator. And I love this because it goes around your finger, any finger you want, and it turns your finger into a vibrator.

So this way you can like tease or nipples, you can like play with it, you can put it inside or I think it's waterproof, you can like, basically your hand becomes a vibrator. And I think it's a great way to since you guys are even together how long? Eight months. Eight months. Thanks Anderson for paying.

So I feel like it's a great way to explore each other's like a rod in the stones and like kind of push it and see where you guys can really turn each other on. Nipple orgasms. So I love that one. You got to have some good lube. Do you guys have good lube? We do, yeah. Okay.

You guys, Cizard. Yeah, how do you have, yeah? You have, Cizard? I'm looking. Yeah. So I heard that's only what fake love fans do, but no, that's not true. And especially if you guys are both external because you guys could trip that way. Trimming is when the vagina is actually kiss. The reason I know that is because I worked on a love line and because there's this French film called Blue is the Warmest Color that most of you should actually rent or watch in your spare time over a parallel line. It's not a whole bunch of lesbian movies out there, so I think I've seen what there are. Yeah, Blue is the Warmest Color is the biggest one, but it sounds like you've already heard

that. And also, before we're done with our Ava question. Okay, I also think, I mean, if you guys don't have a magic wand, I mean, that's just like that's amazing because you can use it as a massage piece. But it's a great thing. You love the magic wand. I love my magic wand, but everyone loves a magic wand.

If you guys don't have one, it's a great investment. It's a good thing about the magic wand. You also get toppers for it. If you decide to play with it, you can get ones that are like, they have the top of it, turn it into an insertion toy. So in an egg beater, if you're making a cake. Yeah. Okay.

So what was your question? Was that helpful? So you guys bet. Yes, it was. You're both, you're both first timers or with the same sex relationship, right? Yes. How did you guys meet? Like, how did this come about?

She was dating my roommate, who's a boy, and it didn't work out. So I was going to pick up the pieces. So you are kind of like a rebound but it turned in on a month relationship. No, she fell in love with me while she was dating him. Is that why you didn't work out with him because you were distracted? You didn't reject you to hang out with me. We were just best friends and then it turned into a lot of fun. You don't live with that guy anymore, do you?

No. Well I think these are some good places to start and you guys are already having great sets. Oh my God, Bets, this is great. Go to my website. You can check them out. And I love this. Good luck with the relationship.

It sounds really fun. Thank you so much. Have a good day. Thank you for calling. Have a good day. Thank you Emily. Bye. Bye, sweetie.

Good luck with you. I love that. I was like so stumped because I'm like, okay, two vaginas, two vulvas. I'm overwhelmed with the things that the woman's taking. I want her to first vibrate. 16,000 nerve endings. 16,000 nerve endings. You had to worry about right there.

I know, and I wanted them all to be pleasure and tickled. That's why the new wish is awesome. I wish. I want you to see it. The wish doesn't seem like a good name for it. It's like I wish I could have an orgasm. Yeah, but I know, for me, it's like when I dreamed of. The names are almost so like butterfly like just like light and like it moves for a man like the blunder

Just drop you yeah You the unicorn Okay, we've got Morgan. She's 24 from Los Angeles and once though she give she should give an ex-relationship a chance. Hey Morgan, I'm here with Anderson. Thanks for calling. Hi, how are you? I'm good. I'm so happy to talk to you.

Yeah, I love your show. Love you. You're amazing. Thank you. Thanks for having me. I love that you're here. The whole ex-canondrom. I feel you. What love that you're here. The whole ex-Canandrum, I feel you.

What is going on? Yeah. We've been dating for about two years now. We've been together a year after dating. And we kind of fell into a really normal boring routine, kind of like an old Mary couple, and we are having sex, and so I ended things and moved home, and I am kind of in this weird phase where I don't know if I should get back with him or if I should just keep moving forward. Okay. Right.

Right. So it's kind of... So you definitely love him and everything besides the sex. Right. It's kind of... Well was the sex great? You were together two years, then you broke up, moved out and you said you had like make up, like break up sex or like XX recently?

Did you say that or no? You cut out for a second. No, we haven't, we've been hanging out but we haven't. I see. Okay, you've got a sex out. Okay, here's my question for you. First of all, you're 24. You lived together for two years. My question is, was the sex hot in the beginning? Not really. Okay, so probably not. I'm going to tell you this, that if the sex, if you don't have that camera, now here's sex takes work. I, that's what my entire show, my life is about helping people work on their sex lives.

But if you guys have been together for two years and you've, it was never that great and you're 24 years old, I'd say going back to try to work on it and teach each other what feels good to build a chemistry that wasn't even there, I think it's probably not the best idea. And that maybe you do need some time to be alone. And I'm also going to think there's probably some other issues there, not just the sex, because it's never just one thing. Now, if he's, so I don't want to be like, I don't like want to be so black and white, like, just, but it's true. I mean, it's like, it's like, it's true, right? And if you were, if you were driving a station wagon and you just wanted a speed around and you got tired of the boring station wagon

because you couldn't speed in it, you turned it in and then you go back to the car lot six months later and you're like, yeah, but the station wagon, it's comfortable, it's familiar. I think I'm gonna go back to it. You're still gonna want to speed and you can't do that with this guy and I don't know what you're hoping to accomplish

when you guys broke up. I don't know if you're hoping to get a new relationship and that didn't happen and I just feel lonely so you're going back to what's familiar. That happens to me. I think I was really I've been wanting to kind of work on myself a little bit because I'm in this weird transition with jobs and where I'm living and whatnot. So I think I kind of wanted to focus on myself. That's a really important thing to do Morgan especially at your age you just got out of a

two year relationship. The best work you can do on yourself, I think it is without a partner. I think that a lot of women and men we just get right go from one relationship to the next and we never take that time to work on ourselves. And I think the fact that you're even saying that, that's going to be hard to do if you're trying to build a sex life, rebuild a relationship. So I think you keep doing that and there's going to be plenty of men out there for you to meet when you're when you're ready. And if you still round, it's much better. But it's a big bug, though, because he's so sweet and he has everything else going from, but I know.

And you can maybe be friends with him. I'm working on it. I know, I know, honey, I know, and it's like every got I get it. They're like amazing on paper and everything's great and he loves you, but you're gonna find a lot of people who are gonna be that guy who's gonna be nice guys, gonna treat you well and you also want to have sex with them. And you're 24 today, Morgan, and you're gonna be 30 guy who's gonna be nice guy, who's gonna treat you well and you also want to have sex with them. And you're 24 today Morgan, and you're gonna be 30 before you know it.

It goes by really fast, take it from me, and Emily, I mean, we've both been there. And the last thing you wanna do is get back and a rut and a relationship where you don't grow and you don't move forward. And it's just more years wasted. It might be comfortable, it might be easy, it might feel safe, but it's not gonna help you.

It's a good reason. And I'm speaking from experience. I wish that somebody told me that. Me too. It might be comfortable, it might be easy, it might feel safe, but it's not going to help you as a person. And I'm speaking from experience, I wish that somebody told me that because I kept going back to the same dead in relationships and I wasted some of my best years. Yeah, I mean, a part of me was like maybe I can just move home and we could live like apart for a little bit and try to make it work. That's not going to make the station wagon of a guy turn into like a sports car. He's still going to have boring sex.

Unless your thrill is to have sex in your house with your mom like downstairs. Right. I mean, you could still hang out and the sex might still happen, but if you can keep it as long as it's not a distraction to you. I mean, you can go back and have sex. I'm not afraid of this guy. This guy might be waiting to return. It might be in love.

It sounds like he probably is. Yeah, and I'm sure you're a part of your first serious relationship. I just think that if you can be strong, it's of like quit and anything like when you drug you got to like quit him for a little bit take a take a take a minute does he know why or where you did you let him down easy does he know that it's because he's it's yeah I've been brought up it's kind of me saying I want to do my own thing and also we don't have sex so kind of I think you still want your own thing. That's clear, honey. And I get to get this and I get these amazing.

And you do this great thing. But work on yourself. You're going to be going through so much changes right now in your 20s. And I just think that you got to just do you right now. And it's going to get murky, keep. I know. I know you love me.

I know he's great. But I think you got to just keep going on this path. You were right to move home and to figure this out yourself. You just need some space and time. Okay. Let's go. Okay, yeah, no, I mean it. We both feel it too.

Okay, honey, you got it. Just take care of yourself. Do you? I'm telling you the best work you've done. You're welcome. Thank you so much. So that's the masturbation month. Bye, Morgan.

Do you, Morgan? Do you, Morgan, masturbation month? It's a great time to spend alone, getting to know yourself in an intimate way. Every May, for example, it breaks up with whoever she is with. No, it used to be on their birthdays, not on purpose. It just would just kind of come up and they'd go, oh, it's your birthday. And guess what? We're over happy birthday.

No, I didn't do it on purpose a few times. It was the birthday. So the deal is that, yeah, Morgan, and here's listening to Morgan at 24, I can't tell you how many men I dated to your relationships. And I'd say, you know what, they're so great, they're so amazing, whatever it was, but I'm not ready. And then you miss them, but I don't regret anything. Yeah, I was such a pansy.

It cost me so many experiences, I'm sure. I mean, I did plenty in my life. I'm not like, you know, whining, but looking back, I was such a pus. And I would just go back to like, what's comfortable and easy. Exactly. And that's really, that's the easy choice. Looking back, I was such a pus and I would just go back to like what's comfortable and in easy exactly and that's and it's really that's the easy choice the hard choices to be strong and to Stick with your gut and work on yourself. Okay. We have another call. Okay. We've got Dante He's 32 from Florida and his past is haunting him. How can we help you Dante? I'm here with Anderson. What's up?

I'm not much. I'm just looking for some help maybe some Advice home just trying to stay down a straight narrow line. Okay. This sounds like you should be calling a lawyer. What's going on? You think I'll allow you. I don't know if I think it's in my DNA.

I know some of us are not all bad guys. Maybe I'm one of the guys that's, I'm just thinking of just being bad, I just, I wanna be bad, I guess. You wanna be bad? And what's happening? What happened in the past? Cause you said your past is haunting you, like I need some background here.

All right, the past was never just warming, always just multiple women, always at just, right, you know, all the time time just either one or two not just so meeting like some kind of player but just just different all the time every other week or something like that or maybe three months or something like that. You would meet new women or you were cheating on partners or you were just meeting new women. No not not even as in just I was in for a long relationship just you know casual dating just all the time. Okay, got it. So like three-month relationship to another three-month relationship. Some long time. Sometimes casual for a long time. Okay. For me, I just put stuff

up front. If a woman don't ask the right question is then you don't get the right answers. Ah, he's like, ah, Okay, so what's going on? So now you're feeling bad about that or where you at now? No, no, where am I at now? I'm married now. Oh, it's all coming in the flu now. You know, it's hard for me to stay. How many women, I haven't,

I haven't veered off that track because I've made a promise to myself. Donta, like I say, it is hunting me. How long you've been married? One, two and a half years. And you haven't cheated? You haven't straight once. Not one time. But you want to. It's it's on my mind. Uh huh. Uh huh. All the time. And not not for bad reasons for relationship. It just. No, I mean you're a guy. Let me tell you D Dante, I'm married to going on

four and a half, almost five years, and it's normal for a guy. I can speak for Emily here because she's a lady, but it's normal for a guy to think about it, at least think about it, and I don't want to say want to, but I mean, that's natural. Don't feel guilty for like, you know, looking at another woman and thinking,

wow, she's beautiful. I wonder what you would be like in bed, especially if you have that past where you used to like you know sleep with a whole bunch of people but you know acting on it that's that's a whole different thing yeah the act I haven't made it to the act for a don't plan on making an act for our juice it just it's just on my brain you know like there's certain that's just stay busy is there somebody you work with that you see on a regular basis that you, you want to hook up with?

Uh, uh, no, not it works. Okay, so you can. Yeah, I'm tired. At the gym, you know, maybe go to the gym at a different time. No, it's gonna always, it doesn't matter who it is Dante. I hear what you're saying.

And so your pattern has been to just, you know, meet other women and you always have that variety because that's kind of what you're saying. And so your pattern has been to just, you know, meet other women and you always have that variety because that's kind of what you're missing. It's not that your wife isn't wonderful and you probably have nice sex together, lovely sex, but it's the variety and something different. So what I would say is this mental injury and I'm not saying this is gonna be easy,

but the energy that you're spending on thinking about and the guilt you're having, what if you try to turn some of that towards your relationship and your current sex life with your partner and try to make that more interesting? With your wife with your wife And it'll feel like turn turn head different. Yeah, you use that energy that I'm always talking about about like, you know Surprise like outings or yeah picnic or you know, maybe something

Get it get get some toys, like do some bondage. Like, I don't know what you're into. Roll play. Roll play. Thank you. Roll play bondage might be too much, but we don't watch porn together. That's something different. Roll play.

Roll play. I'm going to be a stranger, and I'm going to pick you up at the bar. We're going to go to the bar tonight, and I'm going to pretend I don't know you. It's the first time we met, and I'm going to hit any of the bar. Let's go do that and grab some beers. It's not that I think that I'm TV show. Yeah, but people freaking do that. No, people do it's the first time we met I'm going to hit any of the bar let's go do that grab some beers. It's not that I think that I'm TV show. Yeah but people freaking do that. No people do it with me.

My friend just did it. She's been married for 10 years and she and her boy she and her husband went to a bar and you picked her up and she said it was so hot first she kind of laughed and then it was like they fell into the role like what do you do? And it was hot because you it's your mind here Dante. So if you realize it's your mind that's like longing for something else, your mind can also create some of these scenarios and you can have this, you know, you can bring it to your wife.

Do you guys talk about sex at all? Um, no, not really, not really talk about it. Well, I think it's time. So you've been listening to the show, right? Listen to the podcast, you know, we say communication is a lubrication and you've got to start talking about it in a way that like I love our sex life. What can we do to keep it interesting and fun and you know, exciting?

And here's some ideas or you guys can do a bucket list, you go to, I mean, you've got to talk about it because if this is your life partner and you've committed to her and you're not going to cheat, you guys have got to start talking about it ASAP. But like I know it also might seem stressful to you or hard, but you just, it's like ripping a bandit off, just be like, let's talk about sex. Can you do that? Yeah, okay, that will be the first step, get that discussion.

Exactly, she probably wants to talk about it as well. Like, just like, what do you like? I want her sex life to keep growing and be amazing and like, is there anything you want to try? Do you fantasize about anything? You can blame it on me. I was listening to this podcast and she says, you know, or whatever. You saw a role playing on TV.

I hold you to that, then I'm blaming it on you. Blaming on me. People blaming on me all the time, couples listen to the show together, you know, and it really helps couples because they don't know how to talk about it and them telling you in study after study that I read. All the biggest problems with people's sex life is they don't know how to talk about it and them telling you in study, after study that I read, all the biggest problems with sex life is they don't know how to talk about it. And there's not like a magic bullet. It's really like our sex life is important.

We're going to be together forever. How can we keep it interesting and alive? I don't have the answers, but let's figure it out together. And then you talk about it. All right. And then you can focus on that. Do you guys have a regular healthy sex relationship

Yeah, I mean, what's the health is not like 10 times a week or something like that? That would be excessive. I know I just I Okay, you don't think it's good so wait is your sex life not so because you said it's good. She's my what isn't not great right now I mean it's good to be honest. She's more in-gen than I am. But I work, but it's not to make excuses. I work more than she do. My job is a little bit more stressful. Okay. So you're saying she's in this sheet. I have to eliminate it. She know how to eliminate her. It's right away. What I was going on at work.

So you're saying that she's initiating it more and you're not as into it? Yeah, it seems like sometimes I are like, look at what I say. Like if she wanted it, then I'm like kind of like off track of it. You know, I mean like, I'll sleep with them and DM be back where she was at, where she wanted, but then she not into it. So we got all scheduled. Don't compromise.

You know, I get a feeling, you know, calling Emily shows great and whatnot, but I do feel like maybe to save this relationship, you might want to think about talking to a therapist. I do. Actually sitting down the two of you guys, because I don't know, I get a bad feeling that you're going to go out and do something stupid here in the next six months. If you want this related, if you want your marriage to last, I get a bad feeling, don't there? I would take an actual real step and get some marriage counseling if she's open to that.

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I think every couple needs therapy, so I'm down. But just try talking to her and see where it goes without expectations. And I think you'll be surprised and therapy, I think, is great for every couple. Okay, Dante. Thank you so much for calling., I think is great for every couple. Okay, Dante, thank you so much for calling. Good luck with this, you got this.

I love that you're self-aware, you know, it's an issue, so good for you. Go talk. Bye, Dante. Have a great day, bye. Like if he was talking about, like, cheating, like if he was talking about suicide instead of cheating right there,

like I would think that guy's gonna kill him. So, you know, you're like, he's gonna cheat. I don't know, I mean, the fact that he's a cry for help. He's calling and saying yeah, it's a cry for help for sure Right, okay. Well, I've tried to help him the best of camp, but he doesn't want to shoot anymore He doesn't want to I hear we're saying I hear we're saying a little voice is telling him that lady at the gym looks real good I wonder if he roleplays with this with with his wifey fee fee like do a gym scenario the first one I do some jumping jacks over there. I'll be doing push-ups. It is not that hard. I have to tell you that, okay? So I was talking to my friend who's visiting me

and I was like, she's, she and her husband been together a long time and I'm like, how do you guys talk about it? She's like, yeah, you know? One day we were like, what do you guys sit down and talk about it? You're like, because she's the one who did like, they did the sexy stranger,

like the neighbor, the role play when they didn't know which they pretended it was the first time they met. I was like, well, how do you talk about like what you want in bed? She's like, I don't know. I was like walking up a stairs to her in their house the bedroom he was behind me. I was carrying the laundry.

I was like, you know, we should do some more butt stuff. He's like, cool, baby, okay. You know what I was like, she's not looking at each other. They're doing household stuff. And it worked. And he started touching her butt. Like, that's normal, right? You're in the house, the kids were downstairs.

Let's try some butt stuff. How, but start that, whatever you gotta do, just say it. And you feel so much better. Cause the couples who don't talk about sex, their sex lives, I literally feel better because then her butt was getting touched. Right. Everything, of course.

Yeah. Okay, so that was a great call. Anderson, so great having you back. Yeah, it's good to be back. Every time it's like a reunion, but then it's like you never been gone. That's a sign of a good friendship. It is a really good friendship.

Yeah. So I'm really proud of you. Thank you. Thank you. And your kids still live outside. He's doing well, I think. And I guess it's cute and congrats on your movie. Yes, I finished, I didn't even mention it at all,

but the film is being added to right now, and I hope to have a groupers, my first feature film, should be complete by Thanksgiving time. It's amazing, so proud of you. And hopefully make some noise, because it is obnoxious. It's obnoxious.

It's obnoxious. I know, shock. And check out your podcasts, all that stuff. Yeah, the film vault, after zasters, cinematics. Love it. Okay, thanks Anderson, and thanks everyone for listening. Thanks to my amazing team, Ken Halina, producer,

Lark, Jamie, and Michael and Anderson, of course, thanks for being here. And thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithamlee.com. you