Sex With Emily - Unconditionally Sexy with Elle Chase

Episode Date: September 2, 2016

It’s September, and instead of going “Back to School,” we’re taking it Back to Sexual Confidence! Emily and Anderson are joined by sex educator, author and body confidence pundit Elle Chase to kick off this month of self love and acceptance. Together, they tackle your most troubling anxieties, tear down your insecurities and help you find your “inner sexy.” What are the best sex positions for curvier figures? Are you worried about the length of your labia? Where do you start when you’re rediscovering your sexuality? The trio give their tips on these issues as well as discuss just how long the ideal sex session lasts—it might be shorter (or longer) than you think. Whether you’re a sexually confident stud, or you could use a pep talk or two, this podcast will have you feeling sexier than ever!   Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, we're kicking off back to sexual confidence month with the help of sex educator L. Chase. We're discussing how to embrace your sexuality, your body, and your desire with the help of a little confidence. Oh, and a little Anderson, he's here too. Okay, everyone, thanks for listening. You know what I never get tired of?

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visit magicwandoriginal.com today or click on the Magic Wand Painter on my website. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mock our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a fight on me. Hey, I'm only you got a boyfriend because my man E here you just got his heartbroken he thinks you're kind of cute the girls got a He always the women know about shrinkage isn't it common? What do you mean like laundry? It's drinks and we not talk about sex so much Are you kidding me? Oh? Laundry, it shrinks. Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me?

Oh, my God, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. God, there's a lot in between. Thanks everyone for listening to the show.

So this September, I celebrated back the sexual confident month. We're going to be doing lots of giveaways to help you have better sex, and it all starts with confidence. So we're going to now sit, subscribe to our newsletter. If you haven't subscribed to our newsletter yet, not really sure why, because I give good emails. But find out, because we're going to be giving you

some good stuff to help you along. And you can also follow us on social media Which is sex with Emily Twitter snapchat Instagram For again, what am I forgetting? Twitter twice snap my space my space my space sex with Emily actually was Friendster Facebook that comes slash sex with all those places. So anyway, I'm here with Anderson. Oh, doing I'm well are you good good to see you it's been a long long time it has been a long time or has it and L the wonderful L is here this is your

second time on the show yes L was on the show it was called I'll tell you what's called sex with that it was called first step to better sex with lady cheeky. So, I'll welcome back to the show. And I'm going to get into all your credentials, but feel free to jump in here before we get into this. But what I want to say is, sexual confidence has a lot to do with how you feel about it, your body. But it's about speaking up for what you want,

knowing how to ask for it, when you're in the bedroom, when you're out of the bedroom. And I think we have a little bit of insecurities. And I think it's a lot of what I think keeps us hold us back from really having the best sex that we want to have. So we're going to get into all of that today. And I was thinking about some of the insecurities I've had, God, there's so many. But most recently, I was thinking about just the things of even this comes up a lot in the show, but just telling guy I like to use Lou because that's a soon-the-aveless in the show are like to use toys

Like you have to say you know, you know what now I'm just tossing them out now. I'm just like boop grab it Pour that so people are like always say like how do I use it? How do I tell my boyfriend? It's like you know what just have it on your nightstand and just you know, it's just like you're putting on a condom Put you do whip out the loop I don't worry about what anyone thinks because I know that it makes sex better for me. You do have an answer advantage, because you're sex with Emily. So people are assuming that you have vats

and that you would say whatever's on your mind, because you're sex with Emily. I would assume the same thing with L, E, L, L, E. She would probably have the same issue, or non-issue would be, you know, because they expect that. But if you're like a meek little lady or something, I think it might not feel comfortable to just pull her out. That's true.

Hit the vulva. Right. But you know, it's still as weird for me every single time. And my extra thing, my other thing is that like, what if they are dating me because sex with Emily? And then I feel like there's just extra, like, what are they expecting? Right, it's kind of let that go because I'm really at that stage where I'm like, I really don't care about people.

Yeah. I mean, I hope y'all like me and do my best in the universe. I'll do my best in the universe to be like a good person, but you know, you really, just people are gonna make judgments. They just are, they're not gonna understand you, who you are, and you just gotta really be true to yourself. Really, you just can't trip. There's too much time in that universe worrying about

both things. But that's a whole nother show, what we can say. Drink to forget or drink to knock that stuff out That's what I say drink to knock this like that's like the top-sex advice you both give is to drink Come on, let me ask you two girls here I'll be hollocks with Emma girls. Okay. I was a pejorative like women women Let me ask you to women have you for the for the man in the room here the what is like the worst most uncomfortable Meek man that you've or situation you run into in the bedroom

where a guy just did not have that confidence that we're talking about here today? Oh, that's a good one. That is a good one. Oh my God, I'm gonna let you go first. Well, okay. Geez, I was trying to pass it off on you. I know.

God, I've had some, well, here's the thing. I think I have it even more lately because in recent years, I think guys do get insecure being with me because they think I have all these expectations. Yeah in recent years, I think guys do get insecure being with me because they think I have all these expectations. Yeah, and what do you women pick up on? Like what is a tell? I pick on, they are like, it's okay, it's okay,

do you like this, do you like this? How do you like this? Should I put my fingers here? I can just tell there's like a nervousness, like an energy that I don't remember that being, like definitely when I first started having sex, you know when I was just stuck in your own head. 12.

I was just 17. But yeah, but now I remember like since I've been doing the show, I know there's a certain like, well, what do you want? Like, am I okay? Like, is this good? Like I won't even, like, they almost become two-focus on it.

And timidly, yeah. Like, did you come yet? Did you come yet? I'm like, oh, God. Because they're afraid you're gonna talk about it on the show, probably. And I do. I changed their names, though.

It's fine. I would say, but recently, in recent past, like not even recent, I would say something that just sticks out is that I was with a guy who I really believe hadn't in a long, if he had never, had really had performance exactly. Like he really couldn't, like, because I know we ended up dating after a while,

but he couldn't like get hard for time. Wait a minute, wait a minute. You banged first then dated? No, it was like we had been dating for like a few weeks. Oh, okay. And then we had sex and then he's like, he's like, I can't, I'm thinking about the sex. And I was like, I was like, it's okay, it's in your,

you know, we're just gonna, we're gonna get through this. Well, that's be fair to him, I've been to your place. You have posters to yourself all over your bedroom walls. It's kind of hard to do. No, lying's be fair to him. I've been to your place. You have posters to yourself all over your bedroom walls. It's kind of hard. No, lying. Not to think about it. Just in the office. I have it. I'm trying to think what else in security.

It's very big. Why is this a really good question? What about you, Anderson? Any women? Oh, you don't have a lot of stuff. Jesus. No, no, I, I, I have one in particular that I remember where I was very young. I was way too young and I met the girl that night and she played loose guys. Oh, girls women. Sorry. It's okay. She played loose. She played loose and she invited me back to this room. She was like staying at a friend's house from out of time. I can't remember the situation. She was one of those situations. I remember my dad picking me up and I was afraid that I was going to smell like sex. I was like, I was a young man. Very young. That was a kid. And I remember anyway, she played fast and loose and you know, she was making moves and doing things in the dark room. And I remember I was reaching down there and then I was like, young man, very young. That was a kid. And I remember, anyway, she played fast and loose.

And she was making moves and doing things in the dark room. And I remember I was reaching down there and I was touching something under her pants. I'm like, oh my God, that's a butthole. And I was really uncomfortable. And I was like, and then I freaked out and I pulled my pants up and I just had to get the hell out of that room

because I just touched girls' butthole. You sure as a butthole. When if you never touch a vagina. I just had a vagina. I touched a vagina, yeah, before. But I never touchedbacks to that every time I'm every now and again when I'm petting one of my animals, which this happens You guys have animals? Yes, you're petting the animal you're watching Your animals are like my you're engrossed and you feel a butthole by mistake You're like oh, I just touched my dog's butthole and then I immediately remember that moment of my

trauma. Yes, often. Yes. That's a PTSD. The one for PTSD. I mean, you know, I've got insecurities. We'll get into it. There's so much. You've never had a guy run out of the pull up his pants or run out of the room because he just going to go on with you. What I did as a young man. Try it. If I did, I'm trying to remember that he couldn't go on. No, I don't think so, but I've definitely, I mean, I have to tell you,

it wasn't until I started the show that I even realized that I was being really passive and just kind of weighed. I was the typical women that we hear on the show all the time. I was waiting for a guy to know, I really thought that guys should know that they were born with the instructions to the vagina and they knew what to do to make me feel good. And I suffered through, or I let myself sit through a lot of, lay through, a lot of sex

that was not satisfying, because I really, like, I didn't know, as much as I wanted, and I didn't know how to communicate it. And I just had some sex that was a lot of mediocre sex, which is another reason why I started the show. Because I was like, everyone else is talking about all this amazing sex that I mean, I am not. And I want to figure out, sex seems pretty freaking great. And I've had good sex.

I want about amazing sex. I would think Lane, there is a lady these days is a dangerous move too, because most of what guys do know is gonna be from what they've seen on the old porn there. And it's not gonna probably be up to your standards or something you would be into. If you just let them do whatever. Yeah, that's true.

Well, that's how the age, right? I mean, a lot of young kids, we actually have a good blog and I say that Jamie wrote in my office about how kids today are learning a lot about porn. I mean, learning about sex through porn. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, we could move on. We could think about it. You know, Charlie Glickman says about porn and sex. What did he say? Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. Be cute.

We could think about it. Yeah. You know, Charlie Glickman says about porn and sex. What did you say? He says, learning to have sex from porn is like learning how to drive from a stunt driver. That's true. That's a good one. That's a great way to put it.

Right. I mean, nothing about, right. No judgment on porn, but that's what we should definitely be learning. I love porn. And Lady Cheeky is your site. Yes. We love.y is your site. Yes. We love. Tom is our porn.

If you women, I think of a tell throughout the show before we're done here at that time, we'll let the guys who are listening know what not to do because it's a real tell in the bedroom. I think my biggest advice, and this happened to me actually recently, again, go slow. Like everyone's like, whenever I'm out in the bout people like, what do you do for living?

What's your number one to the most? I have slow sex. Just go slow. I think a lot people like what do you do for living? What's your number one? Go slow just go slow I think a lot of guys you know for them sex is fast when you masturbate it's fast like it's getting to your orgasm is fast It's just or it's like you moving mom's coming home. Yeah, you gotta get it right I mean that comes back to that perhaps but I think for men They just really want to escalate for me that's been issued just saying and being okay with saying slow down Mm-hmm like I was with a guy and he was like fingers right.

I was like no you gotta like don't put your fingers inside me. Like don't watch no fingers. It's dry. Don't go in there yet. Not even turned on like you kissed me and then your fingers are my vagina. What the hell happened in between. Yeah.

What about my breasts? We're not making out and slowing down. Yeah. Yeah. That happens to me still. Yeah. Especially fingers. What the fingers right?

If you had that one, then just shove the fingers in. Oh my god. Where'd you guys learn that? Well, we got it We got to make sure that you're open to that that's kind of like our way of like We're trying to oh literally literally like we're trying it's like ringing the doorbell like is this open for business Are we down if you're gonna let me put my finger in there then you might let me put my penis you can't open with It's like it's like it's like you're testing the one Yeah, we're trying to figure out how far is this girl get a less I don't think that happens like when you're going out for a while, but it's especially the first time out the game.

The first time. You're trying to figure out what are you going to let me put in it? Because that's, this is so interesting. So that's how you're tracking your like you should turn on as she went, but what guys can learn from this is the more time they spend, I would say, turning us on with for a play and kissing like, I let the kissing go on for an hour. The making out. That works the job like I let the kissing go on for an hour the making out I'm the lips dude. I'm talking with the neck the lip the bleed

You talk dirty into my ear for a second. Just tell me I'm hot. I'm turned on then guess what you put your fingers inside It's all good to go so spend a little more time investing in that so you got to announce yourself before you Don't just ring the doorbell yet. It's all about a rouse all right. It's about a rouse I can't be literally even if you're the sexiest person in the world if they're if If I we've been together for two minutes and your finger there's no way on the planet that I'm gonna be turned I just can't even mechanically fingers and then going fast with the finger Oh, please please don't in my connolly and like hands-ex class I just tell all the guys please just don't and it's radios you can't see,

but basically I'm just fingering like crazy. Like please, please don't do that. I think that's what guys do in high school. They let me out. I'm afraid most guys have probably done this at one time or another, and hopefully I'm not doing it both times. No, but they are, I'm telling you, I said.

You're got guys, like, from Bill H. Ben. I'm not dating guys, I'm not picking, yes. I'm middle-aged men who are in their digging for change Really? Madison was that one of your City for change? Madison always says they're in their digging for change. You should put a diamond there just as a joke in time. Really? What are you doing in there? What do you do?

You know, right? So that's what they're doing. And it hurts. I can imagine. Never felt good. You never felt good. I used to hear this on Love Line a lot. It's a lot of especially younger men think of the vagina as an inside out penis.

So they're gonna treat it the same way that they would want their penis treated. When you think about the penis and what's going on there, it's kind of like fast jacking. Right, this one's saying, because they're like, this is how mine works. I think it's fast, we do not do that. And it's not an inside out.

You don't wanna be noticed. This is actually a good thing. I'm trying to think what are the other, you know, we're not a fashion guys, we're just trying to help you, because we love you. I'm trying to think of like what else, I know, I'm not a passionate guy, so we're just trying to help you, because we love you. I'm trying to think of like, what else? I mean, mostly has to do with ramping up too quickly,

and not seeing if I'm ready, and I'm bored, and I'm okay with it, and then like oral sex issues are oral sex challenges for men. There's just so many. So great. Well, breathing is always a tough one for the men. What?

Being down there breathing, that's a challenge. You don't know. That one, maybe. It can be, I guess. I don't know. I can be accepted. But if you go slow, slow, and you can't touch it, you like look at it and you see like the glitter is bloom. I think going fast is a is a sign of insecurity. Yes. And so the faster someone goes,'s like oh, I have to do this and I have to do that and there's a there's a list and you can tell They're doing the alphabet on your clip and oh Really you've read that oh

I've read it and I've experienced it. Oh, man I make you write it like literally like almost like reverse braille like you can tell the letters. They're doing oh Yeah, I love you because that'd be that'd be kind of romantic. Oh Listen before you get to age Like let's just put the whole kai vash on this plan. We start singing the alphabet along with them So we're gonna have some more tips on the show. I think we could move into some sex in the news. Oh, yeah, okay The ideal sex session. Session.

The ideal sex session only lasts seven to 13 minutes. Thank God. It says research. I don't know what planet they're on and where they're having these seven to 13 minutes. It's revealed that most people's ideal session lasts no longer than 13 minutes. The members include psychologist physician, social workers,

marriage, family therapist, and nurses who've collectively seen thousands of patients over several decades. And their findings have just lasting more than a half hour was a situation right for disappointment and satisfaction. I do not know what planet this survey was done on. And this is the brackets they found. Too short, if sex lasts only one, two minutes,

I think we can agree that really like, did it even start? Add a quit, three to seven minutes, desirable seven to 13, and too long, 10 to 13. Yeah. That's crazy. Yeah. Desire will seven to 13, too long, 10 to 13,

there's a lot of overlap there. I know, I don't even know. And where does the sex begin? Is it begin with insertion penetration? I think they're talking about, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, for the benefit to their benefit, I'm gonna say for the sake of just hoping that they're not, including Fort Blahir, they're talking about penetration.

Once it breaks the plane and then the clock starts. Exactly, once he got all the change out, he's doing that. And so I just think that what? Maybe that's another thing that guys are doing. Maybe it's like a really primitive and they're worried about teeth down there and they're making sure it.

Cause there is that fear that guys have of the teeth. It's got a word name and everything. That's true that men have kind of fear of teeth in the vagina. They even made a movie about it. It's called teeth. Yes, I know of this. Maybe they're digging for teeth. The giant of the tata.

Yeah, that's right, that's the term. Yeah. Maybe that's what we're worried about. Yeah, I don't think so. No, I don't think so. I don't think so. Trying to find it out for the guys. Yeah, I mean, this seems off to you, right? It really does. I mean, I'd be interested to see who did the study, how many people were in the study, whether it was self-reported, all that kind of good stuff that you want to figure out before you start.

Right. But, you know, were they, I mean, was it just heterosexual couples? You know what I mean? We just donosexual couples were they you know in me We just don't even know which is a problem with the with the research I know exactly and women typically take 15 to 20 minutes or math 20 40 with penetration Mm-hmm. I'm harkening back to my love line days again here is a and want to do on this her program I heard numerous Collars calling over the years talking about how anything and I'd heard Drew echo their sentiment which was anything past like 15 minutes was

out for you ladies. No he didn't say that he would say that sometimes it was more like an hour. No he'd say about 15 minutes. 15 minutes of penetration. Oh no I can tell you from personal experience. 15 more than 15 is just fine. Oh, she's on right. As long as you got the lubrication going. Yeah, or just everything going. Everything going. Everything going.

If I turn down and you're connected and breathing together and all that good stuff. So that's how we feel. I just don't even know where I were timing this. I guess I just feel like, and again, case by case basis, there's some women. I met a woman yesterday. She's like, because of course, I did a matter for two for two seconds in line the store and she's like, you know Oh, I know what you do. She was you know, it's so weird. I only orgasm from geez from my g-spot internally My clitoris can orgasm and it just really quickly happens to me like three minutes. I'm like you're a bitch

But no someone miss quicker someone might wonder what what store pizza store actually was she's speaking loudly for people to hear I was a nice story about a pepperoni down for this This is my life My friend introduced us and she's a friend of a friend and then she was oh my god You know I can orgasm and so someone we can quickly and they they might hurt for them after and they might not want it But typically we just want to get some for us. Let's move on from this Not good information for the guys on this your program. It's really good. Yeah, okay, so L chase

E L E Thank you Anderson you can find our Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and any other social media at L chase Oh, and Halerman her dog is at the L chase. Sorry. Oh, okay, welcome again at it says the L chase here the The L chase, E-L-E. And this is also all gonna do, I'll be on our website. And Halerman, her dog, if you've been following me along on Instagram and Snapchat,

you'll see that he's been a frequent visitor. And he's at Halerman, the underscore Cocklear. Cockle-A. Cockle-A, fucker. Cockle-A. We just gotta get the cock in there, don't we? Gotta get the cock in there. And she's amazing.

She's also been on the show before, like I said. The dog's doing. No, Elle, and the dogs. Look at her face. Yeah, he's pretty cute. And I guess that she was on the show first up to better sex with Lady Cheeky. She's a sex educator author speaker

and a very powerful voice in the sexual health community. Not to mention a key influencer in the body acceptance movement. We wanted to help you here with our self-confidence month and she's also known by her famous alter ego lady cheeky Yes, she get at Dom's great Tumblr porn. Is lady cheeky British? No lady cheeky. No, but she's an anglo file What is that she likes that whole British thing? Just why she named herself lady angle file angle of file anglele file. Angle file. Angle file. Yeah. And it was voted actually. Yeah. No, it means interested in things that are of British descent.

Ah, Angle file. I never heard that. I don't ask. I don't ask. I already know. Oh, stop it, Emily. Stop trying to know. I didn't know where Hanover was, but I do know. Big discussion before the show started, where Hanover was going. I was like, wait, Hanover, wait, wait, I think it's in Berlin, wait, Berlin's on the country, what's going on? But Angle file, of course, of course, Angle file, of course, of course, of Earth. The brain sometimes are synapses that fire when they shouldn't, they shouldn't. So, okay, and Elle, also, I'm being honest, smut for Smarties, that's your Canyon site.

And Lady Chiki was voted back to that. Number one, porn site for women by Cosmo. Cosmo, Huffington Post, so long. Huffington Post. So if you're a woman and you're like, you know, I don't know, porn scares me, don't wanna go to the tube sites to check out Lady Chiki. And it's beautiful images that you carry sexy.

It's a rousing. A rousing, exactly, Exactly. So a rousing. All right. I feel like probably guys should go check that out. Well, yeah. If you want to know how to, there's no one digging for change there. I can tell you as a young man, I learned most of my stuff

from Sam Kinnison's stand up. Oh, God. I'm so sorry. No, no, no. He has some great advice actually. He said to watch Lesbian porn, which was great advice. I have a story about Sam Kenison for you later. Yeah, that's not on air.

She knows a lot of people. Sam Kenison, he said it's like, it's like Butterflies. It's like Butterflies making love. Yeah, exactly soft and slow. That was where I got almost all my info when I was a child. You guys, well it was a different time then.

Okay, so what inspired you to become a sex educator? Let's talk about that. You're the street. It's kind of a long story, but I'll try and make it brief. I was in a sexless marriage, and I have depression. I went through this really bad spade of depression where I wasn't like leaving the house. And when I stopped eating, then we know it's really bad.

So, friend of mine told me to watch True Blood, the HBO vampire soap opera, Gothic soap opera. And I watched it and the lead vampire and his paramour, sucka, sucka stackhouse, were just sort of consummating their love in one episode and it just sort of affected me in a weird way And I just started crying and And it hit me that I'd never experienced passion before so I

Ended up leaving my husband having and a fair with a man. I met on Twitter who I got checked out by a private investigator First I met him because we don't want to go there. I just need to Twitter handle and they can go from there Oh, I knew a lot more than that at that point. But at any rate. And so I started this Tumblr, this Lady Cheeky Tumblr, to share things I wanted to do with him and interests and all of that. And then people found it and it became Lady Cheeky.

And I kept getting questions, sex ed questions asked. And I didn't. I don't know what the hell. It's just like Tumblr. So I would look it up and make sure I got the right answer. And I sort of caught the bug. I really found it fascinating. I found sexual health and rousal and pleasure, really interesting.

And so then from there on, I went to Sfissy. San Francisco sex information. Sfissy. Can't see that either. It's like spiffy, but with an F. Sf-S-I. San Francisco sex information. Fissy. Can't say that either. Fissy, but with an F. Fissy. SFSI. San Francisco.

And some of the, yeah. So she's, then what are some, the topics that you, you, you mainly like educated about, you know, like the things you spoke about, about like big beautiful sex. Yeah. My thing, my thing I began with was big beautiful sex, sex in a larger body or sex for people who aren't confident about one part of themselves or many parts of themselves. We all have something. Even the most beautiful person to you that you've seen, the Christy

Brinkley is now my aging myself. The Beyonce's. Everyone's got something. Everyone's got something. Everyone's got something. Everyone's got something in the bathroom with them sometime and look at my hair. Especially the really good one, good looking ones, because they spent so much time curating that and making sure that it's perfect. Well, yeah, the people who are sort of classically good looking as for a society, what society says, their parameters, often really are critical of themselves, because they have something they live up to and they're close to it maybe, or, you know.

Right. So that's a big one for me, and in fact, I have a book coming out in January called Curvy Girl Sex, and it shows that. So for that, you're gonna go back and talk about that. Oh, thank you. Yes. It's how to have sex when you're a larger woman.

And, I talked about that. Yeah. Well, we're going to get to some more. What are some of the things? Because you told me it was like writing this instruction manual for you before you actually had to write it up. I had to go and figure everything out myself. And so it's a culmination of everything I've learned. I went on a sexual journey after I left my husband

with that guy from Twitter. And through having that relationship with that guy from Twitter, I learned a lot about myself and a lot about my confidence and my sexuality and that my sexuality and my sense of my sexiness is not tethered to my body, that I am sexy, regardless of my weight, regardless of my age, my abilities, regardless of whether I have chronic back pain or whatever,

I am sexy no matter what. I'm just not going to be sexy to every single person I meet. And that's OK, because that's what makes the world go around. Exactly. Right. Not everybody. There's someone for everybody.

So then what were some of the things that you went through, like to develop that? I know it's a larger question, but to the main point, it would be useful for me. Well, you really got to embrace that. And you are, you know, so confident now in having amazing sex and living the truth and

well, I think it's when I walked in here today, somebody I know for his Madison, somebody said, oh, you look so good. And how can I say what you said? Sure. Well, I got fucked right. I believe it was

pretty good along those lines. Yeah, so I got properly fucked this. Properly fucked. Yeah, I said it much more I believe it was a long, long, those lines. She got properly fucked. Properly fucked. She said it much more eloquently. Yes. I was in here. I was in here. I was like, ah, look at that.

The angle file is right here. That's right. Well, I think what's also important is to let yourself know that you're not always going to feel confident that there are times and you want to reach for the times where you're going to feel confident and really try and make that part of who you are and what you're doing. But those times where you just can't, you just can't get it up for feeling confident, those are okay. And don't beat yourself up because that just makes it worse.

Just notice it and move on and let yourself feel it because even I, and I get through it a lot faster now. But that's the main thing. Yeah, I feel and I get through it a lot faster now, but. That's the main thing. Yeah, I feel horribly unconfident sometimes, but the deal is I've done so much work that I move through it at a huge pace, at a fast pace. So it'll take two days instead of two weeks.

Right. Things don't really allow you. It does. It doesn't really allow. We don't change that much in life. We are issues are going to be our issues, but it's really how you learn to accept them and move through them.

Exactly. Yeah. Life is interesting. You can't just love your body because someone says, you can love your body. Some of us can't. I can't. I'm not going to ever love my body.

Yeah, with you. But I will accept my body, and I will be grateful for it, and I'll be grateful for how I use it, and how much pleasure it gives me. And then there will be days where I'm pre-menstrual, and I hate the world, and I hate people. And I don't want, yeah, will be days where I'm pre-menstrual and I hate the world and I hate people. And I don't want, yeah, you're bad when you're pre-menstrual.

Yeah. You probably, yeah. And you're just hating life and you're just gonna feel that way. I mean, it's just the way it is. For what it's worth when I was much younger and actually had very little fat on my body and I worked out a lot and I had a six pack

and all that stuff and I had like long blonde hair that was like, and it was I used to have pictures of me taking for money. It's a roundabout way of saying that I was a bit of a... You weren't your male model. For a for a for a brief period of time doing a lot of drugs too and I'm sure it was coupled with the drugs and the young age but never have I been more insecure than I was in a time of mine. I was most insecure when I was in that time of my life. I was the most insecure when I looked at my best. Yeah.

Was just, so for all of you who are not feeling like you're, you know, you're up to par, feel free to look at those who, who you deem are and chances are they're more insecure than you are. A lot of, I gotta say, I have never felt more confident and more beautiful and more sexy than I have right now at 230 pounds. And I was 110, 115 in high school. I didn't start getting weight till my 30s. And I hated myself like you wouldn't believe.

I wouldn't date. I couldn't even speak to a man. And now I flirt with the waiter, don't I, Emily? Right, yes, you do. I'm right, just say, well, hello to this. It's amazing. It is about how you're right. And I was, God, I had so many securities then too.

When I remember my mom, I'd be like, mom, I wasn't, I don't remember what it was in college or like I feel fat or I feel whatever. I don't feel, she's like, well, this is not the best advice I say, this is the best you're ever gonna look. So you better get out of here. She's like, you know what? This is the best you're ever gonna look.

I just saw my face, mom, I was like 21. She was kind of right. You look back on it. No, but I feel better than I've ever felt, so I know what you're saying. Yeah. Okay, well, this is very helpful. I'm excited that you're here, Al,

because I'd love you to help me answer some emails from the listeners and first, let's give a shout out to our sponsors. Thank you, everyone, for supporting them and we love you and we'll be right back. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ People joke a lot about men not being able to last long in bed. You know it's a widespread issue when it becomes something society recognizes as a condition

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That's PROMESCENT.com. Okay everyone, thank you for emailing me feedback at sexwithendly.com and you can also now so easily email us from the website at sexwithendly.com You click on the Ask Emily thing banner tab and then you just a boop sentence This is on the website, but we love hearing from me It's fun to get voicemail messages. I'm like, you're your voice. Is it true you're encouraging people to call while masturbating? Anderson, you're not you're not You're trying to rail everything that I was wondering if that's what I heard things on the street. No, I mean you can't we'll delete it We won't play it. Whatever gets you. Hey listen If you listen to my message on the voicemail message, we'll delete it. We won't play it. Whatever gets you, hey, listen. If we're getting some of my message on the voicemail message, I will delete your message.

But if I can serve you, I'm just trying to change the world. I'm just trying to help people a bit or sex. Whatever works. Okay, let's get into emails and here we go. Hey there, Miss Emily. I have so many sexual dilemmas, but I'll email about this one first. This year, I started having sex again

after being in a five-year drought. The guy I helped up with ended up being a little smaller than expected. Don't get me wrong, I was happy to get the D after so long, but I didn't enjoy it all that much. Do you know of any positions that would make a little more enjoyable? Also, I'm a bigger girl, so I almost feel like

he was having a hard time, no pun, reaching places. I know you're a beautiful skinny gal, but it can be difficult for us, big gals. So basically, what positions can I do when I'm a big girl? And my man's got a small weenix. Thanks for your time, love the show. I think menace, because I found out about your podcast. Through him, thanks again, much love, Gen H 31.

I see. Anderson, people, I think one person heard about the show from you. What fuck yourself How much and I have a position for this this big lady here. Let's just move on Let's move on to out because I know you have a book coming out I do Well, would you tell it to Jen's little bigger bit little bigger bit little bigger? It also a little smaller guy

Yeah, there are actually a lot of great positions And I think the one thing to sort of remember is you want to get a position that really opens up your are actually a lot of great positions. And I think the one thing to sort of remember is you want to get a position that really opens up your general region a lot. And doing that with pillows or a liberator wedge. Liberator wedge, what is that? Liberator wedge is an industrial foam sort of triangle that's long triangle that you can sort of lay down on.

And it's covered. It looks like a big long piece of cheese, but a longer, a long-wish. So what do you do? You got them on your site? I don't know. We have a lot of sites. You know Google search for it.

OK, I never heard of such sites. Or a search for a certain. No? They're on my site. So you can look at it there. Or it's got a little bit of site. They're on. It's so many sites.

Yeah, I've got so many sites. Any site will take you there. It's a chees. It also else. Lch They're on. That's so many sites. Yeah, I've got so many sites. Any site will take you there. It's at LChase.com. LChase.com. Yeah, or liberator.com, you can go to as well. So getting that or putting pillows, I suggest a liberator because it's much firmer. And putting it right under your hips so that your butt is right at the edge of the wider

part of the wedge. And put your legs back as far as you can and then he gets on his knees right behind you and goes to town, thrusts away. Another good one is getting on your side and having him take one leg up and put it close to his knack or something. And that way he can spread the butt cheeks. He can he can do whatever Putting it down also with your legs up Crossed on the inside of his head. Yeah, that's yeah cross and then to the side. Yeah, but you're like that's a good one My favorite my favorite one is called the Ome the oh HM and that is when you are on your back and

He's doing you from behind, he can spread your cheeks, whatever. And then he twists just the bottom part of your torso to one side. So that the top of your back is flat on the bed and your legs are to one side. And so he is basically thrusting in between your butt cheeks, which he can also, like I said, pull apart or pull away. And this makes it a lot more of a sort of a closed canal. Right.

And you can also clench down on it easier with your pubococcus caucigen muscles. So, you're a pubococcus muscle. She's an angle file. She can talk about it. You'll keep your caucigen muscles. You know the muscle, your pelvic floor muscles the key G.O.L.C.E. muscles. Okay, you have a kegol app. Don't you? I do. You can't yeah, I'm so into my my kegol

Sorry, I'm wearing a pickle ball right now. Oh, yeah, oh wait. Yeah, I'm sorry Sorry, you know, do you want to see it? No, I do not want to see it. I know the cheese drop ball What drop point out? No, I'm too neurotic for that. Well, like they have different weights. Yeah. And My God, you don't wear skirts when you're using these things, right? My mistake, I was going to... You were a skirt! I told anyone this because I blocked it. And it happened to me. Oh, dish. Yeah.

It fell out. Where were you? It's hard to get. See, because, okay, I wish I were talking. I wish I wasn't at an executive meeting. Our team of show. Oh my God. You are kidding me. You were so that lady. Oh my God.

Of course sex with Emily. I blocked it because I didn't know what to do. I was getting coffee before the meeting. And you put these balls in, I gotta see, they fall. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But like you wear them all day. These are the J.J. ones, which I love. I gotta push them again. Okay, but because they just like, you're yeah, but like you wear them all day. These are the JG ones, which I love. I got to push them again.

Okay, but because I just like, you're, sorry, I'm a risker. So I was working like, wide like pants. And I got there and I wear them because I'm just lately. I'm like, I like doing, I have an app called Kaggle Camp. It reminds you to do it twice a day if you want. Which is great, because it's just, it's important. I know that whenever I've done them regularly

for even for three weeks at a time, sex is better. What, Anderson's making the face. No, I'm not making the face. I'm that whenever I've done that regularly for even for three weeks at a time, sex is better. What? Anderson's making the face. No, I'm not making the face. I'm just listening. I'm like, my G-Spot is like, everything feels amazing. I was like, oh, she can use her giant of hammer nails. She actually hammer nails. And I'm like, I don't, I practice what I preach. I'm like, time to do a keg. I'll see you put a man and you walk around and it basically does it for you. Like it does the exercise for you. So, and then I remember to do it, and then you do my top of the way. It's great. So I go to do it, and then you do it on top of the weights. It's great. So I go to this meeting, and I get there early,

or the woman who's like running the executive. She's like, come, do you want to get coffee in the back, they have a curry, we walk back there, and I'm standing there, I just got out of the car, and it just falls to the front. Oh my God. Purple ball through my pants, and I just reached out and grab it, and I don't know if she's like she was just a

two of us and it fell out of my pants onto the floor. Did it make a sound like a loud sound? No, because it's rubber. It's silicone. It bounced back up to your hand. I just grabbed it through my purse and I didn't know if I should say like oh funny, can I go ball? I don't know if she knew. No idea. No, it's not the worst place you could have that could have happened. The worst place would have been like at the ball pit, and a ball pit like a chucky cheese or something. That would be the worst place.

There's been all the children that would go in there afterwards having no idea that I'm in the ball. But I haven't heard of them since the meeting, so I wonder if, no, I don't know. You think she thought it was a diaphragm maybe, if she didn't see it. I was wearing a diaphragm to a ten-a-a-meeting. Your diaphragm can't fall out.

It was meeting sometimes, you know, like. Anyway, it was funny, but that happened. So yeah, I was wearing wide-p it, you know anyway, it was funny, but that happens. So, yeah, I was wearing wide-p, you know, it doesn't usually, but if you got it just it, but it feels good, that's when I share that story. And I guess if I should have made it now, but I'm still going back and you revisit things, I'm like, I could have been, oh my God,

kettle balls, but we hadn't even had the meeting, and that would have been funny. But I didn't, all right, okay, that's my story. But my kettle's still right now, I know. That's right, you should make an internet ad where that happens. Something similar and then you're like, oh, and then like the kegel ball comes out and then you say, it's my kegel ball

and then you lead from there. Oh my god. I think Juju needs to sponsor you and film that ad. I love their balls, like I said. Ball balls balls. Any message you put on that ball, people will see that message when it falls out What if you're in a crowded room and it falls out they will see whatever paid sponsors on your giggle ball

Right the ball doesn't say anything on it. Oh, I couldn't do it's what I'm saying you're it's like a billboard It's like a billboard people will notice that I don't know. I'm glad that maybe I don't think I Keep seeing what did she think it what like what would have bound you are bouncing? You had a you had a super ball Yeah, you're for giant weird, but I blocked it but now you all know I thought something just fell out of your purse or your pocket Yeah, don't worry about it. Okay. I'm over it. Okay. Let's move on to labias Oh as if we ever got away from them Hi, Emily. I've been listening to you for years now. I'm 25. I live in Colorado and listen on the iTunes podcast app I've been single for four years and now. I'm 25, I live in Colorado, and listen on the iTunes podcast app.

I've been single for four years, and I'm interested in a couple different guys, but I have a question that makes me incredibly self-conscious to even discuss, but here goes. I have a rather large labia menorah. I've been with multiple men, and I've never heard complaints, but honestly, I've heard my guy friends complain

about other women's labia size before. They refer to it as different things like- No, don't say it. No? Okay, say it. Is it good? Is it fun? No, it's not good, our funny.

It's like an Arby's roast beef sandwich. No, that's terrible. That's not a good thing. Floppy grilled cheese. Oh, no. It's good cheese. No, it's called a wizard's sleaze or a fool or something. Oh, are you? They're terrible. I hate it when people say that. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, even know she's making this up in her head that this could happen even worse will say to other people and not me. I've been looking to leave you a plastic procedure and I know that you say I should never

have a giant ashamed but frankly I do. Is there an average is there an average labia size or where I can get over this fear? I live in a small town where dates are hard to come by. I don't want to scare away the next guy get. I appreciate your podcast more than I can never describe you give me the confidence to get out of my little shell and try to meet somebody like, thank you, Shae Bull and Chicago. What's sweet? I know, that's so sweet.

Chicago's a big town. What's you talking about? No, Shae Bull. Oh. And it's not. I don't know where she lives, but oh, Shae Bull. I know, here's a thing. It's true.

Libby, okay, I understand your fear. You heard guys talking about this. We all have fears or on everything. Like what are guys gonna say about anything? When you have sex with them, like in a small town, are they gonna talk about me? But again, these are all stories in your head

that I will actually have no basis in any reality. These are mostly what keeps us awake at night and gets us into depression is when we keep telling ourselves these stories that just aren't true. Labies come in all different sizes and shapes. There is no normal. There is no way Laby is supposed to be.

Some long, some shorts, and pink, brown, black, yellow, I don't know, all the colors. Yellow, green. Green. No, not green. No, not green. Yeah, if it's green, see a healthcare provider. If it's green, tell it, right.

But I mean, really, it's just a matter of, just like loving your body. Like, Laby Placies, not gonna make you feel better. Believe me, there's, it's not even, I don't even think it's just a matter of loving your body. Like, leave your plastic, it's not going to make you feel better. Believe me, there's not even, I don't even think it's safe or healthy. I mean, you don't know what kind of nerves are there that they're cutting away. And I mean, it's just, it's, you know, it's just kind of like, you know, I have small hands, I have hands that don't look like my sister's hands, but yet we are from the same parents. You guys are so different.

You guys are so different. You got to same parents. They're all so different. We're all so incredibly different. And it's because women don't look at volvas. They don't look at other people's labias. Men, they penex to each other, they hold their penises, and you hold your penises to pay. No, I thought you meant we hold each other's penises. No, you don't hold each other's penises.

We rarely each sneak peaks. We don't see a whole lot. Well, maybe you're in the minority, though. Right, but also porn. I think there are more than one. And it's, it's, uh, there are more, there are more miss shape in quote unquote as opposed to what the perfect labia is supposed to look like. I'm doing this in air quotes. Um, out there then there are something that someone would call a perfect labia. And these guys that are talking about it are compensating for something. Yeah, exactly.

They're trying to like connect in some way. There's something to rely on and grow about. Yeah, I've seen a lot, a number of labs in my life. And I never once have I talked to a friend of mine about the shape or size or length. And I have seen some long ones. Right. And you know, they have not been a giant issue unless they are too long that they're getting in trouble with the actual penetration

but that can be fixed with a little bit. Now see, I have never heard this. I have seen it and you know what you can do is you can type in porn long labia. I bet you would see a bunch of porn because I'm sure it's a fetish. Well it is a fetish. And you'll see and if she were to just see those, she'll realize she's not.

I don't want anyone to think that they have a long-labia that's gonna get in the way of them having said. Because I've literally I've never heard of that and if it does happen then we just gotta help her get over this fear and I'm telling you just connect with somebody and when you're having sex with a guy like and you're in the moment and you're present and you're confident and you're like connected with this guy the last thing that you'll be thinking about. You'll be thinking about it. You sound like a really good person, Shane Valker, I don't know that I don't think you're

going to date any of these douchebags that you're talking about this stuff. That's how you're going to get over it. It's by being in your body, having great sex, masturbating lots of people. You know what makes you feel good. He's not even creative. Those aren't even good names. Those are terrible names. And he's probably just trying to let you know that he's banging. a lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting.

A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting.

A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting.

A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. A lot of people are sitting. All guys, the guy that you like, she ain't full is not gonna be that guy, because I think that you're not gonna pick that kind of guy that's gonna do it, and she's never done it. How would you actually think that you'd be the guy that has done it? I would never ever tie. No, no. Here's a good rule of thumb.

When you're dating someone and you're interested and you wanna have sex with them, think to yourself, which is kind of redundant. Is this someone I would actually, could I actually be vulnerable enough to say, you know what, some people have said that, you know, longer labias are ugly or this or how do you feel about that or before, you know, the person that you're going to want to, the person that you're going to want to be with is going to be sensitive to that.

Yeah, how we like, I love all. I love it. It doesn't matter to me, you know, it's same with being shaved and stuff, you know. We guys well, though, make sure it sounds like a small town. She doesn't have a giant pool to pull from, but, you know, just be being shaved and stuff, you know. Yeah. Make sure it sounds like a small town. She doesn't have a giant pool to pull from, but you know, just be very mindful of that. And also, I know that with guys that are obsessed with their penis size, usually there's something

more going on beyond the penis. So maybe there's something else happening here. But if you have one long-labeled one short-labeled, that's very coveted. We call that the Nemo. And guys really like that. What you talking about means? Like the little Nemlabeled that's very coveted. We call that the Nemo and guys really like that What are you talking about? I'm the little little Nemo because he has one little fan.

Don't know. I don't even know. I think that's your fan of everything. Like if you bring in your top and- Yeah, guys are just happy to be invited in the movie. Oh my god. They just want in. They do. They want in. They want in. So fast. With their fingers.

Go down. Oh geez. Okay. Hey Emily, I love your show. I've been listening for the last five months. I love your input. I'm writing two days because I've yet to have an orgasm. I know you have a few podcasts about achieving that and I've had trouble doing so since I live at home and share a room with my sister. Finding time and privacy is a little difficult.

But I'm thinking about getting a new vibrator. I have a rabbit now and I'm not sure that was the best investment for me. What do you suggest for someone who's looking to learn about her body? Really learn about it. But the first time to help me achieve an orgasm, Alina 23 Massachusetts, PS. Additional information, I'm in a relationship and the sex feels amazing. I haven't spent a lot of time exploring my body and would really start like dedicating time to do so.

Alina, thank you so much for writing and you're at the perfect time. You're just starting to have sex. You haven't had orgasms yet. A lot of women haven't had orgasms yet. It's fine. You're not behind the game here. So I think a rabbit might be intimidating or not the best toy to start with if you've never had one

because first time orgasms typically come from, except for the woman I met earlier at the pizza store. Right. The clitoris, it just does. And so I think a toy that focuses on that, using lots of lube, also is always great. Because it just helps around, even if you're already turned on,

just the, it makes your natural lubricant and just the thing you know how to allow people and get into it. But I think if you've used your fingers and you spent some time, I would, I love the touch. Yes, I love touch. The touch. That's amazing.

It's a perfect, perfect suggestion. It's a perfect starter toy. It is because it just, I love the silicone on the touch. I love that it's, has like the little, it looks like it fits in the palm of your hand. It fits in the palm of your hand, and it also has like a little cup towards the tip that can sort of cradle your, your clit

or it has a little tip there. That can touch your tip. You could, there's many different ways to use it. You can lay it cradle your clit or it has a little tip there. Right. You touch your tip, there's many different ways to use it. You can lay it over your labia. And that feels really good to you. There's so many great nerve readings. I think the bigger the labia going back to that,

like the more nerve, that would feel amazing. But anyway, I just love it. That's a great one. I think I would invest in that. But go to my website. Also, I have a shop with Emily Page on my website, which is another fun thing.

So you can go there and buy one of those and see what you think. But really, I think the most important thing about finding it, giving that orgasm is not giving yourself so much pressure, not putting so much pressure on yourself. I would like, have a night at home, I would log on to Lady Cheeky, find some images there that like arouse you and get you excited, or whatever it is that turned you on. And just kind of like spend some time, even if you're having sex with them like I said I used to believe that my I did not have my first orgasm with the guy like I dated several men

except with them I was like oh it's gonna happen and I realized no it's not gonna happen take it took matter into my own hands and I'm so grateful I did it because I learned so much and then I could bring that so you've heard me say this before Lina and I think you know what you need to do. Yeah. And discovering your body too, like actually playing with your nipples, everything. And also, you know, there are most women, you know, orgasm clitorally,

but there are also some women that, that like they're the inside of their vagina pressed in a certain way, or their butt, or whatever. So, yeah, you never know what the butt, you never know about nipples. Well, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but, but you know what the fuck you never know nipples. Well, but play the sister factor to the well, that's why the touch is so good. The touch is quiet. Oh, yeah, the touch is quiet and the craves. The craves. Yeah, that's a good one. Yeah, whisper. Whisper would be quiet, but it's whisper quiet. And then anything any of these guys can she use any of these can she use any of these guys in the shower any of them like

Waterproof the shower would be good place Sister's not in the show. Yeah, we don't know we don't think but the touch you can bring into the shower touch You can I don't know about the the best. Yeah, that's actually great. Thank you And showers were blogging will get it done here No, yeah, all right sometimes I love it. Okay. We've time for one more email where the blog people get it done. Here we go. Yeah. All right.

Sometimes I love it. OK, we have time for one more email. Hey, Emily, I'm a 32-year-old female from Upstate New York who listens on iPhone podcasts. I'm currently wrapping up my divorce for my husband of 10 years. Sex with my ex was very vanilla, conservative, and sparse. I consider myself a more sexual person

and ended up having an affair with a longtime friend as a search for sexual satisfaction. Long story short, the relationship with the friend is continuing as my marriage ends, and I'm concerned with my sexual inexperience as I begin sleeping with new people for the first time in over a decade. I've never given a blowjob as my ex refused to go down to me, and in turn didn't want me to give him a blowjob. We only had sex missionary style for a decade, and any conversation attempts by me about spicing things up and trying new things

were shut down and then sex that for months. Any advice you can provide about tips for someone starting to re-explore their sexuality as adult. Thank you so much Shannon. Wow, Shannon, I'm glad you got out of that one. And, El, Jesus sounds like your story, right? Oh, yes. Well, first of all, I'm glad you got out of it.

It's never too late. You're 32 years old. And, wow, I love that your story, right? Yes. Well, first of all, I'm glad you got out of it. It's never too late. You're 32 years old. And, well, I love that you know all the things that you need to learn. And then not to put so much pressure on yourself. But I think that El can also talk about you had a very similar experience. I had a very fierce older. Yeah, I was 40 and I had a very similar experience.

And I had never enjoyed sex before. I didn't know what the big deal was. So, what I started doing was looking at Tumblr porn. That's how I started Lady Cheeky. And through that, I started to understand what turned me on. What kinks I wasn't so interested in, which I wanted to try. And when I started dating, I would look for, you know, sort of clues in the dating profiles, or I would sort of ask, because right when I got out of my marriage, I was just, I mean, overcorrecting big time. I was sleeping with anything to walk. So, I could explore different things.

But there's also great things to look at out there, like there's some great tapes and books by tapes. My God, I am so old. Kristi Brinkley's got a good tape right now. I believe I'm an exercise tape. Yeah, boy, who's the president? God, I am so old. Christy Brinkley's got a good day right now. I believe I'm exercising. I believe. Yeah, boy, who's the president? Is it Rose Belzer? Is that the president?

Right. Tristan Terramino has some wonderful DVDs on how to have interesting different kinds of sex. And there's also, she has books as well. There's also Women's Anatomy of Arousal by Sherry Winston. Here's also very good. And yes, Emily's book. It's Hot Sex.

Get a wet say. Yeah, I had a hot sex. So we're 200 things you can try tonight. Flip to a random page. Yeah, random. And it's a nice. Yeah, all the time. You just flip to a random page and you're like, oh, you know.

Let's try this. Let's try that. So that's a good one. And there are some great books out there. But also, don't be too hard on yourself. I think because you're with a long-term friend. he knows you, so, I think they're still together. And the more that all your sexual experiences worries are going to judge you, this guy wants to be with you, you guys can learn some stuff together, you know, she's never given a

blowjob. That's fine. You're going to learn. Yeah, you'll learn. Oh, there's a great book out there that I used to. I was a teenager. It was something like the gay guys guide to blow jobs for straight women or something like that.

I remember that book, yeah. It was great. We do a lot of shows. So we have a lot of green shows we've given lately. We've done lately on blow job tips, like breaking it down. So there's a lot of our website about this as well. But Shannon, you're good. I'm proud of you for getting out of this relationship

that was not fulfilling you. Because I know it's not easy, but I trust, I can trust me, you're doing the right thing. None of that sounds fine. No. Okay, Shannon. Thank you for listening and thank you both of you for being here. Thank you.

Anderson, El, what, El, where, so we can find you at the L chase everywhere. Yes. L chase.com, ladychicky.com, smut for smardies.com. That's pretty much, there you get everywhere you need to go. Got it. Quick question for you get everywhere you need to go. Quick question for you, your sex educator, has a school ever contacted you? Like maybe an elementary school or a high school

thinking that you were like a sex educator that should come to the school, and that has ever happened? Oh yeah, now I have gone to college. I've gone to college. I speak at college. Ever highest, because I can see it being a problem in the public school system where they're like, nah, this is too bad.

Yeah, no, I don't teach children. Okay. I don't teach children. I guess they are kids that can ask. I refer out. Yeah. I do have done colleges. I have done colleges.

I have the Los Angeles Academy for Sex Education and we do like bachelor parties. I think you know that. God thank you, that's good. Yeah, doing the good work. Okay, Anderson, what's going on with you? We're podcasts. Cinematics is my movie podcast and I'm still trying to get off the ground. I got the film vault in the after zester, what you're doing fine.

But cinematics, we see two movies that are coming out that Friday every week as well as a streaming pick. So it's a service to film lovers. I love it. When you never know what movie to see that weekend. We saw it from all, see them all and we let you know it's worth your time. And also my feature film, which I'm working towards funding. If you'd like to be in the know, give me an email over at groupers, the movie dot com groupers, the movie

dot com. It's all about homophobia and bullying and all that. That's a movie I hope to direct and produce next early next year. And you will. Yes. I'm proud of you. Okay. One more thing. Thank you. Anderson. One more thing I forgot to mention. I don't know how I forgot to mention this, but I'm going to be in New York, you guys, and just like two weeks, I'm going to be there, or three weeks, I'll be there at September 24th and 25th in Brooklyn. It is the Sexual Health Expo in New York.

You can just click on the banner on our website and it's amazing. There's top sex educators speaking there about everything you want in the book. It's like comic homicides. It kind of is like comic homicides. All the central products, and I'm going to be doing a live podcast on Saturday September 24th at 1 p.m. So come see me, come say hi, I can't wait and

thank you for the shoot. Okay thanks everyone for listening, was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexfamilia.com. I don't know if you know this, but the sexual health expo is right around the corner, and this time it's taking place in one of my favorite spots on earth, New York. I'm so honored to once again be hosting this one of a kind event, like seriously, what other event brings today's top sex educators and the hottest pleasure products together under one roof. Exactly, it's the only one. The Expo will be taking over Brooklyn September 24th and 25th, and for the first time ever, you can attend for free. Thanks to our good friends at Wevibe,

the first 2,000 people to register will be given free admission to the two-day event. Sexual ed sponsor The Pleasure Chess has planned out a weekend's worth of seminars and today's most relevant wellness topics, all delivered by an array of sex experts I know and admire. Not only will you be expanding your sexual horizons, you'll also be able to see brand new products from Jimmy Jane, Doc Johnson, Joe Lubricans, Lifestyles and Skin Condoms, The Rabbit Company, Oval Lifestyles Toys, Batchy Longerie, The Body company, oval lifestyle toys, botchy lingerie, the body wand, and narrows, B-vib, C-V-Bad, hot flowers USA, I am toy, commasutra, bay blend, pure, high pleasures,

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satisfier, sex parties, subcentral, the center for sexual pleasures, shamanajan, psychotherapy, and vibrators.com. You can learn more about the sponsors on my website. Just click on the She-Banner for all kinds of information. To reserve your free tickets, visit sexualhealthexpo.com today. See you there!