Sex With Emily - Unlock Your Hidden Orgasms

Episode Date: January 13, 2023

Just how many pathways are there to your best orgasm? It’s more than you realize. Today’s episode is all about creative ways to climax, so you can unlock even more pleasure the next time you have sex. First: are breastgasms a thing? I explain to one caller how they work, and give her ideas for stimulating them and her other erogenous zones. Next, a couple calls in with a common problem: he finishes during penetrative sex, she doesn’t. I give them some orgasm gap hacks to solve it. Finally, why is it often easier to have a G-Spot orgasm with a toy, but not during sex? I give you tips for getting there with a partner and more tips to maximize your pleasure.Show Notes:When It’s Time to Unplug, Plug In a Magic WandUberlube “Good to Go” Travel Sets from Good Vibrations Woo More Play Coconut OilPjur’s Back Door LubeArticle: Where is the Clitoris?Article: 9 Ways to Elevate Your Solo SexThis episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. Give online therapy a try at betterhelp.com/sexwithemily and get 10% off your first month. Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

I'm a little bit with this thought. She's a little bit heavier and she said, you know what? Let me tell you something. She's older and very seasoned. Did I tell you what? When you're the only woman in the room, you don't care what your body looks like. And I've never foretell you that. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. So just how many pathways are there to your best orgasm. It's more than you realize. Today's episode is all about creative ways to climax. So you could unlock even more pleasure the next time you have sex. First, are breast gasms really a thing? I explained to one caller how they work and give her ideas for stimulating them and her other origin zones. Next a couple calls in with a common problem.

He finishes during penetrative sex, she does it. Oh, I give them some orgasm gap hacks to solve it. Finally why is it often easier to have a g-spot orgasm with a toy, but not during sex? Well, I give you tips for getting there with a partner and more tips to maximize your pleasure. Intentions with Emily. For each episode, I want to start off by setting an intention for the show and I encourage you to do the same.

My intention is to give you abundant options for reaching your full pleasure potential, which of course includes interesting ways to orgasm. Please rate and review sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show, check out my YouTube channel social media and TikTok. It's all at sex with Emily for more sex tips and advice. If you want to ask me questions, leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash askemily or call my hotline 559 talk sex or 559 825 5739. Always include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to the show. And, totally cool to change your name or choose to remain anonymous. Before we get into today's episode, I want to tell you about one of our long-time partners, Magic Wand. And we also have a brand new article on our site, When It's Time to Unplug, Plug in a Magic

Wand. Now, you know I love the Magic Wand. Everyone loves the Magic Wand. It's been around since 1968, and it really is a cultural icon. And the cool thing is they have several models now. They have rechargeable and mini and the plus plus but there's nothing like the OG. I mean you might remember when I first got the Magic Wand original which plugs directly into the wall so it doesn't require batteries or charging.

I drilled a hole in my nightstand so that my Magic Wand was ready to go at all times. It's incredibly powerful. It delivers some of the most memorable orgasms. It's really great for other kind of messages too. We don't forget, it feels amazing on your shoulders and your back. And it's dependable. You making one time purchase under $70

and you will have your magic wand original for life. You can check out the article now at sexwithamily.com slash magic wand that's sexwithamily.com slash magic wand. Thanks everyone and enjoy this episode. Okay, we're taking calls all about unlocking your orgasm potential. We have Rebecca 38 in Washington. Exploring in the origin of zones, I heard that there's several types that women have and as far as other orgasms, like a breast orgasm.

And I didn't know if that was true and if that could really happen. And I'm wasting my time exploring something like that to have a different orgasm. No, Rebecca, you are right on track. In fact, breast gasms are really common for women. It's the same receptors in your brain, your clitoris, and your breasts, your nipples are attracted to the same sensory cortex in your brain is the same region, right? It sends the same signal, so you would be likely to have orgasms that way. So it just takes a little bit of practice, And maybe you are having an orgasm,

or you're already turned on and aroused, and then you start to play with your nipples and use some lube or use a vibrator. Have your partner play with you there. My best advice is to let go of expectations. Is this happening? Is it snorkeling? And focus on what you are feeling?

Yeah, I would definitely focus on that. And then there's the secondary broadening zones that we have. I would say that the nipples and the clitoris and the anus, those are the penis and the vagina. Those are the primary Rajinous zones. But the secondary Rajinous zones are also, I think often ignored. And if I tell you them, you'll probably recognize them

like, oh, that feels good, like the nape of the neck. The inner thigh. The ears, the nose. There's parts of the neck, the inner thigh, the ears, the nose. There's parts of the back of the ears. There's parts that you might not even realize that feel good and that's why slow sex and touching and kissing and maybe someone breathes on your neck, right? Like they lick it and they breathe on it. So it's like cold air and warm air and just exploring with a vibrator and mouth and

your inner elbow. That's also a very secondary rodent zone. Back a year ago. Yeah. So it's not false information that I've seen or heard people talk about. I'm like, I need to call it a link of shillinody answers. It's real Rebecca. Keep playing and exploring.

Yeah. Breast gasms are real. I think that women. Of course Rebecca keep me posted. I want to know, of course are back up. Keep me posted. I want to know how it goes. Yeah, love it. Great question. Yeah, that's what, of course, you guys, that's what I'm talking about when I say explore,

explore your body. That's what I mean. What if you are somebody who really gets a lot of pleasure from your neck being kissed or your nipples being kissed and you don't are touched and you just you don't know because you haven't explored it or maybe a partner tried once to pleasure your breast for example and it was like someone you weren't into or you weren't in the mood then and then you make a decision maybe you're like well I don't like breast play. But what if it was done in a way that was tender and consensual and loving and soft and maybe used a warm massage candle and

your partner poured it over your body and they took that massage oil and they rubbed it all over you and they used their fingertips and their hands really slowly and just sort of explored. And you were able to breathe into that. And you knew that the partner wanted to be there and they wanted to please you. So you weren't worried that you were taking too long, that you had to get up and do something to them and you just could receive. And I think that part of exploring your Roger's Sones and knowing it feels good is allowing

yourself to realize that you are a sexual being. We're all sexual beings and we all deserve pleasure and finding a partner who has the same growth mindset around sex is how we will all be set up for sex. Let's talk to John and his wife, 50 in Illinois. Hi. Hi, Emily. How are you? Good, how are you?

Oh, not too bad, not too bad. So last time we spoke, I was bragging to you about your advice of just take it down, which worked with the low job after we've been together quite a long time. And my wife has a wicked gag reflex. So anyway, that was the... Oh, I said just take it down, just have her just swallow it and just take it down. Is that what I said? Take one for the table. Okay. Well, it was a combination of the salsa comma, and then your advice of all sorts of things. Oh, I said just take it down just have her just swallow it just take it down. Is that what I said take one?

Well, it was a combination of the salsa combo And then your advice of also like you know at some point you just got to take it down And that's exactly what she said after I was like holy shit How that happened she's like you know, I just took it down. I was like okay. I did tell you the one thing I wanted to follow up but because she was at work at the time and now she's here and so I wanted to follow up on the work as I'm gap because that's the thing that kind of stresses me out. Like I come each and every time and I'm like, very happy about that but sometimes I feel guilty because like I'm happy to give oral.

A lot of times they get shot down because it's like no, it's not the right time. And also too, we've bought all these kind of different vibrators and things like that, but I don't really think she takes time for the whole masturbation thing and all that. We have sex probably three to four times a week and I bang out a couple solo sessions too on top of that. So I'm all good, but I really wanted to focus more on her. So I set that up and here she is. I'm kind of pushing her on this bottom little bit

to get out of them from work. And I was like, we're calling Emily because the kids are out here and I want to get this out. I'm so happy. No, this will be good. We can just chalk here. Chat, tell me your name if you want to or you can change your name. Hi, so I'm Julie.

Hi, Julie. Julie, let's talk. Hi, I want to hear from you. What do you think is going on? Like, do you, how do you feel about this orgasm gap that John comes every time and you get some? Yeah, I mean, honestly, to me, it's kind of like, no, I think it's just like the norm.

Like, I don't really, I guess I don't really think it's anything strange because it's just how how it's you know is and I've always kind of told him like I love being with you and all that and and it doesn't have to be like I just personally don't know how I could have an orgasm sexually and I can't help myself when I started listening to you two years ago I was floored that only 20% of women have that because I was always like, oh, shit, I wish I could give her an orgasm with sex, but I didn't know that. So that was one thing that was like so unbelievably helpful to every, to most males on the planet. Yes.

I'm trying to get out there, John. I literally if I could buy a billboard here in Hollywood, I would buy a billboard that says only 20% of women are going to orgasm with your penis. So yeah, that's true. I keep interrupting, but I had a huge smell on my face because the cleaning lady came today and before they did, there's like four loops on our nightstand. There's superlube. There's what's the coconut one?

I'm trying to move more play. Yep. And in the warming one that you recommended, we say. Oh, moo more play. Yep. And in the warming one that you recommended, we haven't tried it yet, but it's sitting on the nightstand. And then there's pure, and there was something else. I was like, we have a tropical, yeah, of loob. You have all my favorite loob.

I've literally been matching nightstands. That's amazing. Exactly. Okay. I'll stop in the afternoon. No, you have a lot of loob. John, you guys are adorable. Okay. So Julie, I used to think, well, you know what?

I'm just not gonna have an orgasm every time, or most times, I'll never have something's wrong with me because it doesn't happen with a penis, but I'll just fake it or whatever. And then I started to realize all this information that, okay, most women aren't orgasm with a penis, but they do orgasm. The majority of women will orgasm with a mouth,

with fingers, with the toy. And you. So that's, I basically bone orgasm, pretty much any other way, unless I have a lot of foreplay, like someone goes down to me, and they do other things, I'm in the mood, I have enough time,

and then maybe during penetrative sex, I'll have an orgasm, but it's not every time. So that's why I think what might be good for you guys is some, she comes first action, where John is using a toy on you, using his mouth, and then he said that you weren't always in the mood for it or it wasn't the right time. Is that, or do you like it?

Yeah, it's what? Do you like, yeah, all those things. Do you enjoy it? Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, I do for sure. Very much so. It's just that I think, you know, I think it's one of those things too, where I'm like, I don't have time. Yeah, like, like, I'm stressed out or whatever, or like, you know,

I have to get up for work or the kids are home or there were all those things that are very common I know. But I just feel like, no, no, you know, that are very common I know but I just feel like no no you know I don't know why but I just kind of and if we do I'm like like I'm glad we did and it was you know a good thing. Well no sometimes I'll like practically beg and then I will give it or I'll show a great orgasm I'll be like that was the best and she's like I know right I'm like I know like I like it's getting her to the party is a lot of the problem. It's interesting too. Yes, because it's more, it's not easier.

Well, and then sometimes I track it in my head. I'm like, sweet Jesus, I've had like 15 orgasms to her one. And Emily's talking about the orgasm gap. I'm like, I feel like I'm contributing to it. Yeah. Well, let's end that right now. I mean, it sounds to me like you're talking about having some stress, Julie, which a lot of us do.

I'm telling you, that's why so many of us and men too, but I hear it more from women. They're like, I don't have time to come down after work and I've got so stressed out. And there's so much more to do in the laundry. We get home, women take on more of the homework as well, the household work and kids. So I think what might be good is a grounding exercise. John, maybe Julie, if you would be into this, what if he gave you a massage for 15 minutes or massage your feet and you put down your phone and he got you in the mood and used some massage oil

or just, you know, or took a bath. Is there a reset? Because I know this, if I'm with somebody and they just like rub my back for like 10 minutes, I'll be like, okay, I'm in. It's a change of state, right? You need to like, let me get into the mindset for sex, which is what the majority of women need.

We do. And we just sort of, but then they feel like you did, you're like, once I got going, that wasn't so bad. Kind of like going to the gym, right? When we, we don't want to go to the gym. And then we get our, the hardest part that I was getting our shoes on.

And then we get out the door, that's hard too. But then we get there and we're like, oh, okay, not so bad. It's sex is like that, but how do we get out the door, that's hard too, but then we get there and we're like, oh, okay, not so bad. It's sex is like that, but how do we get you to link up that amazing feeling afterward with just getting started? And so I'm trying to think of some hacks here to speed it along for you. Well, the massage thing, I do try. The one complaint I think you have to is like usually I have a boner with the massage.

I'm given Tm i here but and i'm trying to flip in wherever i can because i'm just i'm so turned on well that maybe you need to give her her like spend because women i think july's like me probably she's a giver pleaser she is he's like oh i'm not there yet but you really want to go and you so maybe got to take the take out of her back you know i know

a man sister preach. Very scary, yes. Right? Like leave your boxers on. Leave your underwear on what you're doing it. And just make it about Julie. And then Julie will feel your tension. She'll feel the love.

She'll feel the connection. She'll get... You're going to be literally... And massage isn't just a light. Oh, this is a nice thing to do. It literally are calming her nerve endings. We're getting stimulated. You know, her oxytocin, her serotonin, her dope, all those feel good hormones are getting stimulated by the touch. That's why we all love massage so much. A release of stress.

That means so we have to ring her out. We have to get the stress out so you can get in, John. But not before. No, you can tell I've listened too long because we maybe have a home archetym in here of like one week of, one time a week of masturbation on our own. Yep, well, if Julie wants, you said that Julie bought a bunch of toy. You got her a bunch of stuff, but she's not using them. I need to like have it on my nightstand too,

so I remember, I'm the same way, I put it in my shower, Julie. I use waterproof toys in my shower, so I remember to masturbate sometimes. Wow. All right. Yeah. I did do it too.

It's my job. So, wow. Yeah. And then I'm always glad I did. I just... And I think that, you know, the other thing is the whole thing about like not being able to have an orgasm with sex. And I know that's something we're trying to, trying to, like I have the G-spot, which has not been a successful thing,

but I don't think I've really given it a good chance either to try to get that out. Well, let me tell you about the G-spot thing. I like to call it the G-area. I had sex frequently with many partners, or several, before I discovered my G-spot, let me just say that. I thought it wasn't possible for me. And then it wasn't until I took matters

into my own hands, literally, and started studying sex for a living that I was able to have my internal orgasm. And that came from having a literal orgasm first. So I would, because then that helps you have, because it's all connected. Your internal and external orgasms are pretty connected. They're all these nerve endings.

So once you have one on the outside, sometimes it could really help you, then the blood starts to flow and it starts to become more engorged than your more aroused. I think it's practice, it's breathing, it's taking time to explore your body in your masturbation session. John doesn't come in the room, you lock the door, whatever to explore your body in your masturbation session. John doesn't come in the room, you lock the door, whatever, or you could do mutual masturbation, but it's giving yourself permission to explore. I had to commit to it because I thought

that I wasn't able to have an orgasm either that way until I took it. And it didn't happen the first time. It took me like months. Oh wow, okay. Right, that's what I meant. Like well, it's not in my body. Like, it's just not how I'm built, you know, or something. Yep. You are. I believe you can't.

I believe that most women can have most kinds of orgasms if they commit to trying it and not giving up and trying the process. But I thought I couldn't because I bought a toy like years earlier that was a rabbit vibrator, like literally the rabbit that came out and I and I used it once didn't do anything never went back to it because I thought it was the kind of thing where oh you just try it once and it works right like it just it should just work like I'm just not built that way. But I realized I had to learn my own body. I would be that way too. Okay. So we're the same. There you go. We're like twins. We had to figure it out. But I'm telling you, I think it's possible

and John is a very enthusiastic partner. And so you could, you know, use some toys together, you could do mutual masturbation together, but I would just plan and I would be patient and I would pay attention to what you're feeling and I think it's all possible. But I can't tell you for sure that you'll be able to have it during penetration.

Maybe if you have a literal vibrator on your clitoris, sometimes that helps to have the internal. But just play with it. Get curious. John, you gotta keep your penis and your pants for a little bit. And. Oh.

Oh. Oh. Well, one other, I actually, I have a question and then a comment, is that okay? Yeah. Yes. The third question is, I'm struggling a little with the Kiven method too. I start that and she kind of is not totally into it. And I feel like I'm doing it wrong.

Okay. Well, how are you doing it? We're talking about the oral sex method that's called the kibbut method. So so typically I start oral with just the clitoris and and she always is like lighter lighter and I feel like my tongue's barely touching. That's one of the like she always like like yeah so like super sensitive and after she has an orgasm she like won't allow any touching, which is fine. Although I did tell you, I did the cupping of the Volvo which you liked.

So that was it. Yes. I love the cupping of the Volvo. Yeah, right. Yeah, so I remember talking about that. Okay. I tried the whole, I tried the Kivin and maybe it wasn't long enough. As now after hearing you tell Emily about not really given it a full go like

you know think it is going to work instantly. Maybe that's it yeah I do yeah probably give up to you at some time. Yes I do too but I think that you could just kind of stop and go to other go around and tease other play with their nipples and play with their breasts and do other things and then come back to the clitoris but the kivit method is from the side to side. So you're not going you never should with oral sex go right for the clitoris, but the kivin method is from the side to side. So you're not going, you never should with oral sex go right for the clitoris. I think it's about teasing and kissing the inner thighs

and licking around the clitoris, licking around the pubic mound and all the areas around at the labia. And then you get to the clitoris, but there's also the, the kivin method is about stimulating those nerve endings from side to side, so thigh to thigh. Those like you're going up but you're perpendicular lying between your legs, Some methods are about stimulating those nerve endings from side to side, so thigh to thigh.

Those, like you're going up, but you're perpendicular lying between your legs, thigh to thigh, not toes to head. So, then you're covering more nerve endings. You're going like outer labor, inelabia, outer labor, outer labor, back and forth that way. So, you're hitting all the nerve endings. So, the only other time, I gave her a a clearer organism from behind, but I gave like a massage with the muse Loube first and rubbed all around,

which I was unable to do previous, but with the Loube, you were fine with it. Then I licked all over the place, then got to the clitoris, and then it will be all good. So that is hot. From behind is so hot, that is underrated. We should talk about that more too. We're talking about the best.

Licking from behind is so freaking hot because you're stimulating different nerve endings. You're coming at it differently and then you get to the clitoris. Yes. Do that. She can only have an orgasm on her back. That was the first time she had one on fours, which I was in heaven. Yeah, there you go. By the way, when we're like walking the dogs, we'll be like, so we're outside the bedroom. Emily will approve of this. I have to just tell you I'm like oh sweet Jesus Okay, yeah my last thing I was walking the dogs the other day and

Neighbor like friend neighbor like someone who we know pretty well stopped. I was like hey, how are you? Sorry are you on a conference cause like oh no, I'm like and I just decided to be super honest. I was like How's your sex life? You're husband. I'm listening to sex with Emily it is so good I'm like I don't know where you guys are at I know nothing about it but this is TMI listen to sex with Emily. Oh thank you you guys are fabulous oh my god you guys keep me posted I love hearing from both of you. Thank you for calling. When we return, I'll be taking more of your calls all about orgasms, so don't go anywhere.

How can I help? Today's show is all about orgasms. This call is from Amanda, 41 in Arkansas. So good to talk to you Amanda. Tell me everything. How can I help? Well, it's just kind of a question really. I don't exactly know what it's called, but it's the dildo type thing.

You know, it curves the top. It has kind of like a little silver bullet inside of the casing. So it curves upward to hit the clitoris g spot on the end felt, right? So a deal. Is it a deal though? A deal though doesn't vibrate. So a deal though doesn't vibrate. Okay, it vibrates a vibrator. I'm sorry. Okay, I got it. So, you know, I can kind of play around on the inside, you know, get yourself started. And then, I was like, okay, well, I'm going to try the insertion and know, get yourself started. And then I was like, okay, well, I'm going to try the insertion and see if this is real. And it, it worked. And

so it worked twice. Okay. My question is, why does this not happen during actual sex? Like, what am I doing positionally and correct toward that does not happen. That is such a great question Amanda. So what you're asking is you use an internal vibrator. It didn't have an external part to it right. It didn't have like it wasn't like a rabbit vibrator that went on the extra right just went inside you. Okay, and so for the first time or maybe one of the first times you experience an internal orgasm using that vibrating toy.

The first time. The first time. At 41. Okay. So congratulations by the way. And you are the poster child for women because I say all the time that just because you haven't had one doesn't mean it won't happen. You just got to explore.

I had my first one with a vibrator as well. Yeah, I totally get it. So I feel like, just wanna, so happy for you, Amanda, really. That's really cool. So why doesn't happen is because first off, well, you in a committed relationship right now are you in a long-term relationship? I am married.

Oh, okay. The thing is that you were probably alone. You weren't thinking about your orgasm. You weren't really worried about maybe pleasing your partner or waiting for it to be done. Maybe you just felt relaxed and you were on your own. Right? Or was your husband there? And the office by myself, yes.

Okay. You were by yourself and you kind of experiment and you could think, well, where does this go? And you can move it around inside of you and just kind of breathe into it and get where you could feel where you kind of knew where it needed to go. And so when we're with our partner sometimes, right, it's and then their penis is just going in and out. It's not as nuanced, right? There's not as many movements, that targeting different spots that you just might not and it doesn't, you know, I don't think your penis, you know, your, your husband's penis vibrates. So there's all those factors, I think, that contribute to it. So I think that you are in control and you, there was no one around and you could breathe and you

could be you. And so that's probably why it hasn't happened before. And now you know you can. So this is such great information you have now. And you can bring that to your husband, be like, look what I found. I found these internal, literal nerves and how to stimulate them. Let's celebrate.

Let me show you. So here's this toy. Right. That's what I was gonna say. So literally, you're like, hey, check this out. This is what I found out. This is what happens now you Right. That's what I was going to say. So literally, you're like, hey, check this out. This is what I found out. This is what happens now you try. That's it.

That's it. And you bring them into it. And I was thinking about you. And I thought, wow, I even called into a show. You could say that. You could say, I read some research. And I found out. So you guys are in it together.

I say, I've got something really fun tonight, really hot. You can even text them ahead of time or just say, I've got something I want to tell you and then build that up and then be like, look at what I found and he'll watch you or he could do it for you. And then maybe he could try it with his fingers and some lube and then he could find that spot as well.

Okay, I'm gonna do that just like very nicely where he does and thank you for doing something wrong. We'll see Amanda, this is why I'm telling you that what the best, this is what I was talking about with everybody, is that we think that if we have to bring up sex, we're going to be shaming our partner, rejecting them, they're going to feel really bad. Very open.

Oh, good. I didn't, I didn't know that that, I felt that it just didn't work. I thought it was like a fake thing. Oh, it was a fake. No, it was a fake orgasm or a fake. What do you mean? I know. I just thought the whole G spot thing wasn't real. People say that, yeah, they're faking it or whatever. I've never had that. I mean, Amanda, this is amazing. Here's the thing. That is in your 41 years old, you've probably been having, and you have other orgasms?

Do you have... Yeah, always, clitorally. Like, always, I can always do it that way. But it's... We can... It's never happened internally. Now, do you, here's my question for you, Matt. Do you want to if I ask you a few questions?

Because this is so interesting, and I think it's going to help a lot of people. So tell me about your clitoral orgasms. Are you, is it during masturbation? Is it when your, you know, your husband uses his mouth or his fingers? All of the above. Great. Okay. That makes sense. And then with this toy, though, do you remember, was it like deep

inside or was it just about two-thirds inside? Do you remember? I'm literally like, that means it sounds really stupid, but literally the tip. Yep. So what that exactly, so what that means it sounds really stupid, but literally the tip. Yep. So what that exactly, so what that means is it's sort of what I always say is that it's your internal, literal nerves.

You probably were hitting your, hitting parts of your, so, and that's why some people think it's the G spot. Some people, I don't even like that name of G spot because this is why women are like, oh, is it, what is it? But those nerve, the clitoris is 8,000 nerve endings like on the outs, like it's that little bud, but they also have these legs that sort of extend internally behind your labia

and in your pubic mound towards the opening of your vagina. And so that's kind of what you were doing. You could slow down and then stimulate it. And I bet your husband now, if you show him with the toy, he could find that spot on you as well. But it might not come with a penis. So that's this is just because what you're also showing, is like people think only 20% of women have an orgasm with a penis inside of them.

And it's because it's much shallow for some women. There's a shallow or thrusting or a, there's just more of a little curve there. You got to hook around and find that internal, literal nerve as it becomes swollen by the openings. Does that make sense? That makes sense. Yeah. Okay, cool.

I love this Amanda. Thank you. Of course. I appreciate it. Of course. Thank you. I appreciate you. How about that?

Amanda. Yeah. We're talking about orgasms. We're talking about your sex life. I want to help you have a different kind of orgasm this weekend. If you want to ed yourself and tease yourself into having, delaying your orgasms, you could have more explosive orgasm. If you want to have multiple orgasms, it's all possible.

Amanda just showed us that. She's 41 years old. And she just had her first internal orgasm. With a toy, same thing happened to me. I thought that I was broken having sex with people why wasn't happening with the penis? Could you go to explore on your own. Okay, we have another color now, Elizabeth, 55 in Texas has a response to Amanda's first G-area orgasm.

Tell us everything, Elizabeth. What's going on? I was explaining that in my mid-50s, I'm still very sexually active with my husband, we have sex probably two, three times a week, and he's almost 60. Back in my 40s, so this is when I was younger in my 20s, I walked in the break room, and obviously I worked at some of the older women were talking about the G-spot. I have no clue what they were talking about. And they say, oh, you're too young to understand this.

So anyway, I was about 40 when I was in a position. I believe there's only one position where I can be stimulated from the G-spot and actually climax. And it was an accident. I was on top. And my husband likes to feel me brush against him. So I was, I lean forward. And I have this one little fantasy. So I think you have to be in our relationship where you're comfortable.

And you know, I can, you know, hold his arms down and I'm feeling like I'm in control and I would just play and you know he's just laying there like like he's you know I'm the boss and I've got him down and I'm rubbing and I'm going up and down and you know I'm on top and I I climaxed and it was one of the hardest orgasms I mean a big one that I've ever had I actually cried I was like oh my god what was that so I mean that's one that I've ever had. I actually cried. I was like, oh my God. What was that? So I mean, that's one of my favorite positions. He's, hey, I love it. I don't have to do any work. And you're happy and afterwards on that. So that's so. That's great. Elizabeth, I have a question for you. When you say you are on top,

because I want women to also know that it's different looks different for everybody. So are you saying that you were going up and down or you were more rubbing like your chest was kind of closer to his chest kind of moving that way like towards his head? You're leaning on him. I'm leaning forward and more down leaning forward and I don't know what the angle is internally, but I'm thinking in my mind, just like men think thoughts, women think to you, or for me, I do, and I'm thinking, you know, I'm in a position of power over him, that's just my fantasy, and between that and the stimulation from that angle you know my breast are rubbing against this chest. Yes.

I mean I'm not totally flat but I mean I'm at that angle and I'm holding this far. It's like a forty-five to the angle. It is about forty-five. You know you can give or take however you know it works for you ever but it just. No right this one's saying it's some people it's ninety so people people are flat on their, you know, on their, on their partner's chest rubbing. Yeah, but this is, I get it. And then you, because you were able to, in that, in that leading angle, then his, that makes sense, but his penis was also going more up.

Do you guys do understand what I was saying? They're not back. It's going more. So if she's leaning like this, do you see so 45? So it's hitting sort of closer to the intern, when I say that you find your, your, it's internal, that the come Heather motion, you know, when you're using your fingers, it's going towards your, your stomach, like that way, the, it's in the wall though of the vagina, like the internal wall is what you're saying.

So that would make sense that you're leaning forward. But I think that a lot of times when people are just having a penis go in and out, it's just going straight back into the vagina and it's not curving up. Yes, Elizabeth, this is so helpful. Thank you for, I'm so happy. And that is, you're very welcome. Yeah, it's wonderful. It's like, I do, I'm gonna say it more, you've got to have the mindset and you've got to

be comfortable. You know, it took a while in our marriage and I was comfortable and, you know, you think twice about it and I have my eyes closed, thinking, and there it was. I have a question, Elizabeth, so there's the other thing. So what do you think it was like about, like I'm saying, you've been together how many years? Because you're 55, it happened four, how many years have you with your husband? 35? 35? Okay, 35 years. And so, and then, okay, so you're having, you're just not having, you're having literal orgasms? No, I could, I could if he, let's say it was oral,

and out, you know, external on the clitoris, yes. But never by just having sex. And, you know, I would sit on top and just ride, looking at you, so you could see me. And then, just for whatever reason, I just leaned forward. And for the first time, I'm like, you know what? I'm going to have a, I'm going to think about it. It was just sex. Okay, I will tell you.

I pretend I'm a prison guard, and he is a prisoner who cannot get out. Nobody's coming to see him and I gotta have him So I've taken him and I'm in control I love this. This is yeah, have you ever told him this Elizabeth? This is great. Have you ever told him that that's what you're fantasizing about? Does he want to fantasize? I think he's under my control. I get him and he lays there. He loves me and if that's it, take, I kid you not. Less than a minute and I work at him.

There's something about the, you know, because I'm not a control freak. So it's my moment of being a control. Exactly. He's a man. I mean, we're from Texas and he is 100% man and I'm a woman who believes in some, you know, some mission. I mean, I'm not that I'm a step for life, but you know, I took him clean and, you know, I do my duty and, you know, things and I've had a business, you know, so I'm not a ding-dong. You know, just just just raise babies and that was all. I mean, that's a beautiful thing.

I would've done just that. Right. But it is my moment of, it's my thing. See, I have a couple other ones too, but that's the key one. That's the one here. Wait, Elizabeth, okay, so please, Elizabeth, I love this. This is so big because it's not just about a position. It's your right, it's mindset.

This is why I always, you have to remind you all that having a healthy fantasy life is gonna help bring more pleasure to your sex life. And it is sort of a, your brain was into it and your body and you were moving and it was a very intense, I love that this is your fantasy. We've lived with one more, well, a few questions as he know that you're fantasizing when you're, or when you're,

how you tell him? I tell him, yeah, I, that when you're you tell him yeah I that's when I tell him but he's he's the object of it it's not like I'm thinking of our neighbor right no I'm not my neighbor for sure right no I'm kidding no but that would be no I know I know, I know. No, but Elizabeth, this is a really healthy, I just love that you're setting this example that of 35 years being with somebody, it took you, you know, what was it then? Like, you know, just until, okay, you say.

20, it's almost 20 years, almost 20 years. No orgasm, but I think. Yeah. No, not the intention. No, I during penetration. No, I didn't understand it. And then I think just getting older and being relaxed with each other, there's no kids in the house.

We've all got some kids now. Nobody lives here. I mean, we're just so relaxed. And then it just turned into, you know, go to bed in the morning, you know, we have quickies, we can, you know, you just, environment, you know, how you feel about each other, that kind of thing. I still think he's sexy and he calls me sexy. So, that's important to love each other and still feel connected.

So, yeah. Yeah, they're all know. All right. Yeah. What are you telling though? So, do you say to him when you're in bed, like, do you ever role play it? Do you ever dress him up as a prisoner? Do you wear like a hat or anything? Where any knee-highs?

Now, my husband is very, he let me buy him some underwear one time that looked like an elephant or something that you know i'm putting this on for you now but i'll never do it again so no it would be uh... role play or anything like that but he knows what i'm doing i said he's he's uh... he's a man's man i mean he's a boss you just let me have that much thought. Well, this makes sense, though, that in the bedroom,

because you're also explaining such an important thing about women's power, right? The sexual power being a woman and feeling that we are in our body and in control that we, there's so many women need that release. So what you're explaining is that you're in a relationship where you feel safe and you feel,

you feeling your body, you can do what you want, you're free, and you're not thinking about your face or about like, what am I making a weird orgasm face? Or is he happy? Is he pleased if the kids have, you don't have no other worries, but you're truly in your pleasure.

You're a woman in your pleasure, and then you can sort of seize the moment. And I think that's the key to incredible sexes that letting go. People say you gotta let go go and that's exactly what you're describing with such great detail I just want to help people think is I think so many of a struggle to let go during sex to be ourselves. I agree with you as a younger woman I was more worried about my body than I am now and let me tell you everything's fallen at 55 it's not the same but he doesn't

care. His has changed too. So we're at the same stage we don't look like we did it 20 30 40 where you know creeping up to 60 but I mean it's we're both you know we're growing together and I had a friend when I'm a little leave you with this thought she's a little bit heavier and she said said, you know what, let me tell you something. She's older and very seasoned. Did I tell you what, when you're the only woman in the room, you don't care what your body looks like. And I've never forgotten that.

So. Well, I think it's true. I think I feel the same. We worry so much as women. Everyone has kind of has concerns. But we think, I always say, they're in the room with you and you're naked and you're together. They're not looking at your body, judging you.

Not never as harsh as we judge ourselves. So what a great message to hear. And so, because I believe it. And then I believe that we're not worried that someone's judging us. Then we can be truly in our bodies and have that confidence. And then that's just a muscle that we build, you know, over time, like you are. I'm confident in the bedroom. I know it's going to happen. I don't really care if you're judging me.

You know, you don't even think about those things anymore. You let them go. Yeah. Right. That's it for today's episode, see you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe, and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily. Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles

for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating or relationships, call my hotline 559 talk sex. That's 559 825 5739. Go to sexwithemily.com-ask-emily. Special thanks to ACAST for powering the Sex With Emily podcast. Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemily.com.