Sex With Emily - Up Close & "Cliterate"

Episode Date: October 8, 2016

On this show, Emily and Menace are reunited, to tackle a wide array of your sex and relationship quandaries. How do you know when it’s time to commit? What’s the best way to get your partner to step up their foreplay game? What do you do if you’re just not a natural born cuddler? These are just a few of the questions Emily and Menace address on their quest to help you have better sex. Also discussed, the importance of “date nights” and increasing your level of “cliteracy.” So whether you’re hitting a stumbling block in your relationship or you’re just itching to try something sexy and new, this show has the advice you need to get you where you want to be. Don’t miss it! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily today show. How do you know when it's time to commit? How to get your partner on board with more fulfilling for play? And what to do when you're not a codler and your partner is? And so much more. Thanks for listening. You know how I'm always encouraging you to get a little more adventurous in the bedroom? Well our friends at Sportcheats, you know, the ones who pioneered easy to use bondage gear

have just released the perfect product sphere next adventure, the all new midnight line. Midnight is a collection of sophisticated, playful and adventurous accessories like lace cuffs, blindfolds, and one of our favorites, a lace collar and lace. Hey, pretty surmaticin. Remember that time I led you around the trade show

wearing one? How was that for you? You know, surprisingly good. It's really comfy. I liked it more than I thought I would. I know, right? Fun for everyone. Want to turn up the adventure dial a little more?

No problem. Midnight has a whole selection of high quality nipple clamps that not only feel amazing, but are really beautiful too. Hey, pretty surmaticin, remember that, just kidding. Okay, don't underestimate a little nibble play. Trust me, each item in the Midnight Collection is made from the highest quality materials. Everything is nicely weighted and feels amazing to use.

These are really the perfect way to bring a little special twist to your sexy playtime. Sportsheets has been keeping couples connected for more than 20 years, and the midnight collection is their latest masterpiece. To check out this or any of the other fun sportcheats products, click the Sportcheats banner on my website or visit sportcheats.com. That's spo-r-t-s-h-e-e-t-s.com. Come. broke anything she kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh my. The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god. I'm off here. So, so, so.

Being bad feels pretty good. So, you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemily.com. You can do so many things there. Subscribe to the podcast. Check out our daily posts about sex and relationships and all the things that you want to know about.

They're all there on the website. And you can follow us on Snapchat, Twitter, and Instagram at sexwithemilyfacebook.com slash sex with Emily. Subscribe to our newsletter if you haven't already because that's a good time. And thanks for telling your friends about the show. And finally, you can download the show on Google Play, SoundCloud, and Spotify in addition to iTunes. Very, very exciting. Oh, also, you know that I'm always talking about my favorite toys and where you can find them. Well, guess what?

You can now find them on the website. My favorite picks, so look for the shop with Emily Tab on the site's menu. So do that. Hi, Menace. I'm here with Menace. We've been separated for a while. I know.

I'm so happy to see you. What the heck is going on? I've seen you all over the place on Instagram if people are not following sex, doubling on Instagram, you should do that. But you were, let me see, you were in New York City. Right. And you were looking good.

You had like all these different kind of outfits going on. Yeah, I had to kind of dress up. Who was your stylist or did you do it on your own? I did the styling on my own, I have to say. I had a great, I just literally, the night, far left, I'm like, I need some killer outfits. Yeah. So I got one dress that's sexy lace one by self portrait,

great brown, and then I had this red little outfit by Refford Shim. Yeah, it's Johnson. So it's an abs instead? Yeah, some stabs. Look at you, you. I know, right? It was fun.

So what's your ex-boyfriend did you hook up with in New York? You know what? I didn't have any sex in New York, but there I was. What? Well, it was sort of like I had a very carry Bradshaw moment where I don't often think like, oh, I did my show because I'm carry Bradshaw. I wasn't like I saw Sex in the City and decided to do this.

No, but I do this actual Havak's bow, which was mind blowing the amazing. It was the fifth one we've done, second one in New York, and I'm going to get into that in a minute, but after the show and after two days of all these people, telling me how to change their sex life, and meeting all the fans, I was like, oh, great. I'm tired, I go back to my room,

and I'm like too tired to order room service, like alone, not having sex. I mean, not sad, just like all these people are in great sex tonight, or in their lives, and I'm going to sleep, and I'm tired to order room service alone and I thought it was kind of funny and then I'm sitting there like on my computer writing notes from the show and not having sex. But I have sex here, you know, I just want to have sex in your heart. I didn't hook up with any access, although you know it, yeah, I didn't hook up with anybody.

But there wasn't even anyone I wanted to, you know, I actually I was like so satisfied from the two days, but drained. So here's a deal. You know, sexual hot expo, we started here, and it's, it's, there's two days of, it was Saturday and Sunday and Brooklyn. So what we do is, there's like two days of like speakers, like top sex educators. And then there's all these exhibitors, right. So like all of the products that we know, like up and coming products and like pleasure products, it was just really cool. So I get there on Saturday morning, you know, like 10 and there was a line around the corner. It's in Brooklyn at this really cool warehouse base, literally like lined up down the street, waiting to get in, right?

Cause you never know if you're gonna throw an event or a party if anyone's gonna be there. And then people just, you know, we let them in at 10 o'clock and it was just, it was so overwhelming and amazing because in the 11 years we've been doing the show, I met more listeners in two days than I have in 11 years because we don't, I mean, you do a lot like for the Woody show, you do public events. I realize I don't do that much.

I've got like a workshop here in there at Hustler. And I think some people might not want to go to a Hustler store. Or they might not be the thing. Right. But I'm thinking I I'm gonna get out more because meeting these people, minus I mean, hundreds listeners, it was overwhelming and it was like,

just get, because we get emails all the time from people who are like, you know, your shows change our life. But to meet people who are just like, you know, and the interesting thing was the demographic, it was like, you know, there was a couple, and I'm sorry if you're listeners and I don't remember your name at this moment.

But like this couple who's like in their 60s, and they're like, we fall asleep every night listening to your show, and it's like changed our life. Yeah, there were several like young women who were like, I'm going to become a sexologist because of you. You've like changed the course of my life. And then there were like a lot of couples who listened to the show together, like a boyfriend. He's like, I got heard of listen, you know, and it was just, it blew me away. It was like just to hear that, and people were like nervous and excited. And I'm just always like, and some people were like, I got heard of this and you know, and and it was just, it blew me away. It was like just to hear that and people were like nervous and excited.

And I'm just always like, and something like I was nervous to say hi. And I'm like, I'm standing here at this booth. I'm thrilled that everyone said, well, where's Menace? Because I did a live podcast and they're like, well, where's Menace? I just assume that you're with me. But he's probably in Vegas, turns out you weren't. Yeah, I was there for the I Heart radio festival, which was amazing, two day event. And met so many listeners, but it's crazy. Speaking of, I was at that the I Heart Radio Festival, which was amazing two-day event and met so many listeners But it's crazy speaking. I was at that festival and I did meet sex with that many listeners and I every I do a lot Oh again, like you said, Woody show events, which is a morning show here in Los Angeles and

I was like that. I was at the LA County fair Right and somebody comes up to me says I listen to sex family. So it's a thing. I know. People are out there listening. They're out there. It's amazing. And yeah, you got to get out more and do. I do.

What should we do? We should do an event here that's not like you got to go to a hustle or you got to go. Yeah. I mean, we did the improv show to the 10 year anniversary show, but I don't know. We should talk about that. Like, or email us.

Feedbackatsexwellme.com. It has to be like a destination place. Again, I mean, we always talked about doing a Vegas thing. I think that was great because I did one. We did a thing and meet up in Vegas with the Woody show. We're just like, hey, we're going to be at this place at this time. I think that would be great because people just want to go somewhere for the weekend.

Right. You know, if we say like, oh, beat us in Hollywood, like, what are people are going to do? Like, people across the country and the world think, like Hollywood is this glamorous place, it's not. No, it's just like, that's a traffic and stop.

Yeah, it wouldn't be a great place to have people come out for the weekend for like two days, but it would have to be somewhere fun where people can entertain themselves outside of just checking the bus out. So Vegas, maybe, or somewhere else. Yeah, let's do that. Okay, you guys, like, we'll do that because I want, I just for me also, I've been doing the show for so long. I don't meet, I know you're out there. I know you're listening, but I don't meet you. And that

just, it just, my heart, I, I, I tears, I had so many emotions and it just felt so, so, thank you to everybody, all the amazing listeners who came out to say hello and who have been supporting the show. And I loved hearing your stories and it was just really inspiring. And I'm like, just it just made me like this is what I'm doing. Cause I said, we're in a box all the time. Like you don't understand, we don't meet.

We're just meeting, but it's right. So I already had an idea in my head that we can make it happen. So, oh, you're not gonna tell me. I'm not gonna show you now, but people get ready, cause there's some dates that we can make it happen. Oh, you're not gonna tell me. I'm not gonna show you now, but people get ready. Cause there's some dates that I have to be there and then maybe you can just tag it on.

Tag it on where we just record and say, Hey, me to up here. Okay, that would be awesome. Cause I did do a live podcast. And it comes whatever will be drunk and be mad. You'll be mad. You'll be mad. You'll be. You're having a time. That's a good point. Cause if you're sitting there and knowing just up, but we did do a live podcast without you, I'm really sorry. That'll be coming out like next week or two weeks. I know I'm not really sorry But I had a big announcement there that I would like to announce to everybody now you don't even know this but

You know how much I love Loub. Yeah, well Joe Joe Loub. We talk about them All the time they asked me in a meeting like what was your dream? Loub and I'm like that's interesting. I have a lot of ideas about it. So now they're going to help me make my dream loop, but I need your help, all the listeners. So go to sexwithemily.com and slackswithemily.com slash dream loop and take a short survey. And your responses are going to help Joe create a brand new loop that we design together. Nice. Plus 10 lucky participants of the survey will receive a Joe Prize package worth $100. And they have really cool things. They don't just make lube.

They have really cool beauty products for men and women. So go to sexwithenley.com slash dreamlube or click on the dreamlube banner today. It takes like five minutes, four minutes. It's just about what kind of lube you want. And then it'll be like a lube that we created by the people for the people. That'd be awesome. And yeah, so it was a great, you know, weekend overall. And then I'm going to Germany and Amsterdam on Monday. On Monday? Yes. I'm going to another sex conference called Aerophame. I know. I'm telling you know, he walks in and I'm like, we're gonna talk on the show. But yeah, I'm

going to it's called Aerophame. Like, you know how I go to all these industry conferences here. And so, but now I'm going with WeVib. And we have a booth there. And so if anyone's in Germany, I'm gonna be hand over. Oh, we definitely had listeners over the years. I know. He know me, because I think I'm gonna do an event in Amsterdam next weekend, which is like the weekend

of October, some things. I don't even know what the date is. Like, October, like, seven of this. All pay attention and follow. Pay attention to social media. Because that, okay, yeah. So follow us, there'll be like Twitter, wherever Facebook. I'm going to announce where it's going to be.

But answer them dude, how fun is that? That's amazing. Yeah, I was supposed to go to Amsterdam in last December, but you know, of course the Paris attacks happen. Right. I messed up all my time. Pasquit terrorist attacks. Yeah, sucks.

But you know, that shouldn't stop anybody from checking out Amsterdam. That's gonna be awesome in Germany. I don't really know much about Germany. I just wanna, you know, go to Amsterdam to check out the, the, the, the windmills. The windmills, exactly. And the, yeah, it's gonna be,

it's gonna be a good time. Please Instagram a ton while you're there I will I want to see what I promise I will do that sex Emily on Instagram sex that my Instagram. It's a good time Okay, so I've got some sex is there anything else that you wanted to share No, thank you for all the listeners that keep on meeting All over the place and my travels they come up to me and say I listen to sex on the show You don't have to whisper it to me. This don't be ashamed. Yeah, it's right. I'm Stand up proud. I love meeting all of you and I thank you for following my French bulldogs I last time I was on there. I announced I had a new French bulldog Chimmy and she's great

And she's been keeping my other French bulldog happy and I'm so happy and they have the two separate Instagrams I don't see why you wouldn't combine the Instagram. No, they had their own personalities. Really? What's so different? Like, Shimee likes to be cut old. Oh, yeah, Chio not so much. Oh, I would like Shimee better. Yeah, I just want to cut off. Shimee's a liquor. She likes the liquor on the face. I like that too. Yeah, so I like licking all right. You do Duh, I did Duh, they'll be visiting the offices. Please yeah, that's good You look a happy family happy life and glad things are going so well for you and everyone should check out his show the Woody show

Now it's gonna be coming everywhere right? Yeah, they're gonna I can't announce it now, but it's gonna be on in other cities in the United States Starting November starting starting November, so pay attention there. And we podcast every day. So it's up for a day. It's up for a day. It's news, pop culture. Right, people like it, people love it, you.

And say, yeah, and like people come, you say hi, say hi to me, I love it. I don't always like meeting it. It changed my life. This was a life changing weekend for me. And you know, once we get syndicated, it'd be great to get you back on the show. Yeah, that was a blast You didn't tell me what's her name the girl on your show use the bivator yet, but she did she said it wasn't strong enough I told you never had an orgasm. Yeah, and I told you

I could not use it. We should call it. Let me call her seriously She should come on the show. We'll call her for sure. Oh, yeah, can I share one more thing? Of course, so I did mention a couple podcasts ago that The show that I work on we teamed up with Habit Burger and we're helping raise money for no kid hungry Well in the month of September we helped raise 350,000 dollars for no kid. Oh my, from the Woody show. That's amazing. It's great. I mean, have it really, they promoted it a lot by themselves, too.

But we were a part of that, and it was effing amazing. So if anybody is listening to the podcast that was a part of that and helped donate money, that is awesome. That's a lot of money. Congratulations. Yeah, 300 feet. You guys are doing good. That's awesome. of money congratulations You guys are doing good. Well, not just entertaining people

But then I don't have any details but also on October 23rd. I'd be doing a pet adoption Oh, I want to adopt a pet yeah, yeah, October 23rd where? Tustin Toyota in Southern California. I don't have the time. It's testing sounds far. It's on the Google It'll tell you where it's at. I'm not gonna go there, but if you see a dog that I like just pick them up for me Back at the card school. I need a dog the cuddle. Yeah, like Jimmy. I know my baby. Hey, K-Chicky cuddles I can't take dogs that don't cuddle Yeah, it's a problem. Can you like pre-screened dogs for cuddling dogs? You probably can't okay? Anyway, we got some sex in the news all right., what's going on? Okay, a monthly date night.

Monthly date nights could save a marriage. So this is a study they did. Merry couples who have a monthly date night and leave their children at home can reduce the chance of splitting up a study found. Having a trip to the cinema, restaurant or theater and getting away from the children can keep the spark of love alive.

Perhaps making a little effort, like little touches, wearing a more flattering outfit, rather than the more practical outfits that you're just wearing around the house all the time, really make a difference, or just simply spending time together as a couple without the distractions of day to day life. And they said, however it works, however couples do this date night, it reduced splitting up by 14 percent. And couples who found time to go on that date once a month.

And this shows you how many couples aren't going on dates. They're not taking, because life gets in the way. You're busy. You know, you might be like, I'm just sick of my partner. I don't want to spend a night with him. But that's probably why you need to. Yeah, definitely. You figure out what, you know, what's going on in your relationship and stuff like that. Not like have deep conversations in your free time. It's to have fun.

You know, just go on, have a good time. Yeah. It's funny. I was talking to a friend about this. She had a baby like a year ago and she's like, God, it's just, we're just not having great sex. And I'm just, you know, it's like, you had a baby. You got what was that time you guys went out? She's like, Oh, we, we haven't at all. Like you forget that that's just so obvious, but then you get caught up in your life. And I was like, well, do you remember if there was a time in your relationship when things, can you remember when you were the most attractive?

Like before you had the kid and she's like, well, we just used to have fun going out, like getting buzz and having good meal. I'm like, okay, so do that. Like it doesn't have to be, you don't have to be expensive. You can go to your favorite, like a whole in the wall. But just without the children, the two of you

connecting, I would suggest put your cell phones away if you can. Like, I know the kids, you're worried, like, you don't need to have them on the table. You don't need to be Instagramming your meal. Like, really, like, focus on each other. Because, like, phones, I think, could be really harmful in a lot of relationships.

And then also, what do you who I work with? He's married with two kids and he makes, yeah, he does make it a point. I hear him talk all the time, like at least once or twice a month to have a date night thing without the kids. You have to. You have to do that. But I get that people don't, you know, if you can reduce your chance of war, like, 20%.

They think, oh, I got to keep the family going. I can't keep on working. I got to, you know, but you can reduce your chance divorce, like, 40%, they think, oh, I got to keep the family going. I keep on working. I got to, you know, but that's what helps keep the family going. Exactly. And your better parents, your better humans, your better everything, better employees, better moms, dads, when you have that time to connect. And we said this before, even if it's just like a hotel for night in the city that you live in, like, look, it doesn't have to be a lot of money.

Holiday and express, I stay there all the time. It's amazing. I was like 49 bucks, you get breakfast. And you get breakfast the next day, and they have a pancake maker that you put one button, one button, and it poops out of pancake. It's amazing. Really?

So what's more sexy than that? That is sexy, except for the part about the poop, which is funny, not a honey funny. That was so hot last night. I want to go poop out of pancake Some people do that's nothing not to switch the subject But talking about pooping out of pancake is nothing compared to what just happened recently at the Folsom Tree parents ever Cisco the stories that I've heard and the things that I the photos that I've seen it has taken it to a whole level bigger than I've ever seen why living in San Francisco I know it's San Francisco. I don't even recognize like if San Francisco walked out to being the bar and said hi

I wouldn't even know who it is. I think it's like It's just taking it to another level. Why was pooping? Reminded you of it. I Do you know what I don't even want to show this on the show but people could get on Google and type in full-sentry fair He used to be just men and like whips and no other chats are just like not afraid to share Any type of fetish or anything that they're into nowadays it is The giving you were shocked after living in Sanford Square Yeah, I'm just being on the show like this, there's stuff that I've seen. There's stuff that happened that we have never discussed on the show ever, and I cannot believe it.

And we don't even want to. We don't want to. Well, I know this was about having date night with your partner, but I just a side note, again, get on Google, type in Fulsome Tree Fair 2016. Okay. Wow, it means every year. It's not at work.

It's not at work. And maybe there's something that you're into that you can find. Walls and Tree Fair 2016. Okay, wow, it means every year. Now it works. And maybe there's something that you're into that you can find. You might find a new fetish. You might find a new interest and you can't leave it to San Francisco to spark that for you. Reasons. That's so good to know. Sorry I missed it this year.

I used to always go, you know, but I love San Francisco. I'm saying, where are we at this time? Oh dude, it's like squirting and pooping. What? Hi, Donnie. OK, don't tell me. I love that you're on Tell Me. I love that you're using discretion.

I am. It's super mature. And that's what the title show we are. OK, we are. Ron Sheets show. We're not Ron Sheets. It's already sex in the title. If I was super Ron Sheets, it could be challenging.

Let me just wrap up this section in the news real quickly, though, the researchers found the effect only worked on married couples and not cohabites, which is interesting. But I wonder if you're married, I mean, if you have children and you're not married, but you've chosen never to get married. Like, you know what I'm saying? I don't know if you just, like, you live together.

I think they're saying that if you're just living together for two years and you don't have kids, maybe, but you can also not be married with kids. So, I just think every couple needs a time without the freaking cell phones and out there's the two of you doing the things, but especially when you have kids. Amishel Obama told US talk show host Jimmy Fallon that she and Barack tried to do date nights, although it's not easy. Barack has a 20 car motorcade, men with guns, the ambulance is always there, how romantic can you be? Hard goes out to the Obama's. But they're still trying, even Michelle Obama's trying. You should all try. Okay, we're gonna give a little shout out to our sponsors,

who we love, and thank you everyone for supporting them, because you know, I only talk about things that I love, and I know that you'll enjoy. So thanks so much, you'll be right back. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ You know what's so great about sex toys. They don't get jealous, they just want you to feel good. Even if it means they sit one out while you try something new.

Well, I was recently introduced to that something new, the Rabbit Company Leian vibrator. I'm here to tell you that this little palm-sized beauty is simply awesome. It's made for external use and features two ears that are perfectly positioned for literal stimulation. The whole piece is gently curved to match a woman's natural contour, so it can literally lay on you as the name suggests. But its ergonomic shape feels so good to hold and move around. You'll find endless different sensations by changing the lay-on's positions. It's whisper quiet and has six vibration patterns, but my favorite feature, the rabbit company keeps the motion in the ears, not the handle, no more numb hands from the transfer

of vibration. It's really amazing. Like all rabbit company products, the LAN is 100% body safe, features easy to use controls and has a five year warranty. To order your LAN, visit the rabbit company dot com or click the rabbit company banner on my website. Hey, why not? Lay it on today.

Okay, everyone, now we're gonna read your emails. Thank you so, oh, Ampli, your voice mail. Thanks so much for emailing me at feedback at sexwithelmay.com. And you guys are so good, you're so good at your name, your age, where you're calling from, how you listen. It was funny, minus because when I was even at the show, not only did the sexual health ex-fo in New New York not only did I do a live podcast but then throughout the weekend I have a new zoom recorder so I people were just coming up and and like asking we had them sign up

If they just wanted to ask me questions and they were so funny They're like my name like you know my name is Ali. I'm 24 from New York and I listen and spot up I should like I know I just wants to know like they cute. Like, you've drilled it into everyone's heads. That's so cute. They need to lay it down. Yeah, one of our listeners are coming from. We just want to know. Thank you so much.

I appreciate that. Also, we are taking your voicemails. And we've got some great calls today. Will we play someone as well? You can leave a message. 818-ask-s-w-e-one or 818-275-7931. That's also on the website. You can find all that there.

Sex with Emily.com. True that. Okay, here we go. Dear Emily, I'm casually hooking up with a girl a few years younger than me. We have a strong connection and if stated, we have strong feelings towards each other. We talk every day and the sex is amazing. She says it's the best she's ever had and it said she loves me. The only issue is that she recently got out of a long-term relationship almost seven years

and wants to enjoy being single and she never experienced that when she was younger. She had one other high school relationship before the last one and she never got to experience being single in her early 20s. She's 25 now. She likes have a good time, go out and have some one night stand with others, she loves the chase and excitement and it's something new for her. She loves that men approach her and seem to be attracted to her. This does worry me as I'm developing really strong feelings it wants to be exclusive. It's only been three months since she edited her last relationship because

she wanted to explore her sexual and social freedom. She stated that she wants a proper relationship with me, but had set herself on a 12 month goal of being single to see what she wants with life. We've planned various activities together that are a few months away. She suggested, she has suggested them, not me. So should I wait, should I walk away, or should we look? I did open a relationship. Thanks, Josh, 30 Australia. God, I love our Australia listeners. I love we've so many listeners from Australia.

I mean, I love all of them. It's a great place. It's a great place. It's a very sexual place. I know. Australia. Wait, maybe we should go down there. Past Australia.

I'm down to go down under. Who wants to fly us down? We'll be there. We'll be there tomorrow. Okay, so Josh, so man, did you get this whole out? Because I even know if you're even listening, it's a lot. So basically, I'm gonna recap. I'm ready for my rebuttal on this. Okay, oh, you're all ready.

Well, I'm just recapping here. Just you guys, if that was with all the numbers and dates. So here's the thing, is that Josh is really into this check and they, you know, he casually hooked up with her, but she got out of a seven-year relationship. She's 25. So she's been with the same guy since she was 18. And Thura, and he's 30, she's 25, they have this great connection and the sex is amazing, but she states 12 months. Like she at least gave herself 12 months to have fun and explore seven years in a relationship is a long time, but I get she also is really

attracted to him and then he's saying like, should we have an open relationship, what do we do? So I think she does need the space to see other people because she's telling him that, but it's also probably mixed messages and it's difficult for him to navigate because she really wants to be with them and she's attracted to him, but yet her saying, I need to be without a man. All the answers are right in front of you. They're being told to you. It's that happens 90% of the time. It's just for you to accept it. That's it. That she's telling you exactly what she wants to do.

Right. Right. Just let her go off and do her own thing. You go do your own thing. Right. She's not going to change this. Right.. Don't try to be in the middle of it. You know what? I really want to commit and she tells you, oh, I don't want to commit. I just want to be out here and doing things. That's just going to cause issues. I agree.

And if you eventually want to be with this person, go let him do everything. Let her be free. Don't have all your time being taken up by a person that doesn't want to Commit at this time, right, but here's the wife's Composing And if she's there she's there, but here's why my heart goes out to him because I was this chick for a long time I would be I was a serial monogamous and I would be in a relationship and I'd break up with the guy and I'd say

You know what I'm gonna be free. I want to know who Emily is without a man in my life I mean this is all through my 20s and then I go out and meet a guy who was great. And I feel like, oh, I really like you, but I can't do it, but I like you, but I can't be with you. And I would go through this, and then eventually I would break up with them. I think it's really important for everyone, men and women, to have time without a relationship. And if you keep going from one to the next, the next, you never get to figure out really who you are.

And I'm not saying this is for every person on the planet. Some people meet someone when they're young, meet someone whenever and they're happy. But she's telling the dash, she is telling you that she needs her sexual and social freedom, but I get it's confusing because her actions are just planning stuff down the road. So I would say either you need to cut it off,

you could have an open relationship, which sounds like you are right now because you said she's hooking up with people. Can you handle that? Like open relationships are hard to do when you're not, when you're starting out, like when you don't have a foundation it sounds like you guys are new and it's exciting, so to open it up, it sounds like you're just dating other people. If you can handle that Josh, maybe that'll work. But it sounds like you lover and you want to, you know, you're falling love with her and you want to be with her so it could just get really tricky. And I know again, I used to do

those things because when I was with these guys that I liked, I would really be into them. I'd be like, this is amazing. But then I'd go home and I'd be like, I'm confused. So that's what she's doing too. So eventually go live your life. Let her be free. If she comes to you in the end, she does, if she doesn't, at least you had fun. Yeah, fun. You have a good time. Right. Okay, hi Emily.

I love your show. I get so excited when I see new episode and I always look forward to listening to the podcast on my way home from work. I'm 25 years old female and my partner is a 28 year old male. We've been in a relationship for three years. Before my current partner, I've been in four monogamous relationships, all of them like different things in bed. In particular, one of my partners enjoyed a lot of touching, licking, and kissing all over his body. His neck, his ears,

his chest, his waist, you name it, I really like this. And it gave me a lot of variety in terms of what I could do for 4Play. My current partner, however, seems to like only one thing when it comes to 4Play. Blow jobs? Blow jobs! Yes, sweet! So good! Right, Nana. Don't get me wrong.

I love giving blow jobs, that was a tough one, right? Yeah. What if he possibly like, long locks on the beach? What is this leading to? Right, kissing, nibbling on his neck. Don't get me wrong, I love giving blow jobs, but I want a little bit of warm up. I want to touch, kiss, and lick his body, but he doesn't like that.

Most of the time, just tickle these eyes. Issue is twofold. I'm gonna kill you, man. You don't like the tickling, or the whatever, you just wanna blowjump. You're this guy. Yes, I mean, every 90% of guys want that anyways. They don't appreciate about you kissing them all over.

They just want, they're going to let you do it because eventually they know that they're going to do a blowjob. Well, this is a twofold question. So he typically goes straight to fingering me or trying to eat me out. I want him to take his time. I want some intimate foreplay. How can I add variety to the foreplay? I'm giving him and have him like it. And how can I get him to give me intimate foreplay. How can I add variety to the foreplay? I'm giving him and have him like it,

and how can I get him to give me more foreplay? Dude, this is like harder than solving World Hunger. I swear to God, everybody wants more foreplay. But I'm gonna help you. I'm going to help you, Michelle, because you're 25 years old, and this is not gonna end for you. So let me just tell you,

because I see with guys my age, and they don't know about forbid, and they're fucking putting their fingers inside me. I'm like, what the hell are you doing? I am not turned on, what about my boobs? What about my neck? What about kissing me? So Michelle, I get it, you're on board,

but sometimes men need to be talked. We need to teach them. And they want to learn, like, here's the misconception about men and women. One of the bazillion is that the misunderstanding. When a guy goes right to your right to your vagina, your vulva, your pussy, how do you want to call it? And starts fingering you and touching you. We think he doesn't care. He doesn't

want to turn me on. He just wants to get his. He doesn't know that it hurts because no, he wants to please you. He really does, he doesn't know how. So I'm gonna teach you how to teach him how to be into full play and how to give you what you want. Do it. So just saying more for play, what does that do? You're like, what does that mean, right? It can be challenging.

I mean, it does. But here's a real quick thing before you get into it. Yeah. You opened up with exactly what I was going to say. If you tell a guy that you want more for play, he's not going to run away. The whole reason you're writing this email is because you're too afraid to tell him what you want. Right.

So you want to try to figure out a different way how to get what you want without telling him directly. Exactly. Don't be afraid to tell him. Say, hey, do I want more for play? Any guy in the world that is sleeping with you is not going to be afraid by that. The guy is just going to want instructions on what to do. Well, this is what I'm saying. Okay, this will be the thing I do.

I'm just giving you the point. Don't be afraid to tell him. Don't be afraid. Do not be afraid because he wants to know, but it's a little finesse. You got you can't. So here's what you do. Start by telling him. I got blueprints in charts. No, but it's a little finessing. You got, you can't. So here's what it is. Start by telling him. I have blue prints and charts.

Yeah, but I need one. I need more here. So start by telling him, like, I enjoy it so much. Like when we're kissing and hugging, it really turns me on. That's something you can say. Like when he walks in the door and you guys hug, you're like, ah, that turns me on. That feels really good.

So you're like laying the groundwork for what? He knows, and like studies have shown that like a 30 second hug Can turn not to the point where she's gonna want to sex but get you like connected like it gets those hormones and like the serotonin and all that spikes just from the touching So you want to avoid negative comments like why don't you kiss me more? Why don't we do this or why don't you do that because that's just gonna like shut him down So you can start with like you were doing something the other day, you can say to him, that really turned me on.

You know, like I loved when you were like the way we were making out or the way you were kissing my ears. So you're giving him like a point of reference for things that you like rather than just saying you again, you want for play. You could also say, and I, you could also say, I had a really hot dream about you the other night. And then you the other night. And then you can explain it. You could say, you were kissing my body all over,

and it felt so great. I was on my stomach, and you were like, slowly kissing me down my back, and then eventually I turned over and gave you a blowjob. You can put them in the dream. And you might think, well, that's not true. I didn't have that dream. Well, you had that fantasy.

You had that thought. This is what that dream. Well, you had that fantasy. You had that thought. This is what you want. So you know what? It's just a way to explain to him what you want. And it's kind of like an outside thing, like you had the dream. And a little imagination fantasy is fine. You could also tell him, like, you know,

it turns me on so much when I just love kissing you. Can we go slow tonight? Just you've got gotta give them examples. And when something isn't working, when it's not working, you don't wanna say this isn't working, you can say something like, there was something that you were doing the other night that felt really good. And then you could show them something that you want.

Or you can say, my body is craving something different tonight. Just rather than stop or pushing his hands away or doing something that would just make him feel like he's failing, you can just kind of keep redirecting him. So this is the other thing. You're saying, men, as you said, you could say, I want more for a play, but how do you show him? How do you show him what you want? Well,

first of all, you can have him start just like tell him that you're in charge and then we're going to get to how you can get him to like for a play, but this is about you first. You can tell him that like you're in charge. Hems are kissing you and say, you know what? I want to play a game tonight. You're going to start kissing me and like, I want to keep keep kissing until I can't tell you what's happening next. So he can start kissing you and then you can say, God, I really want you to kiss my neck. And like, how do I go slow? Like, slow them down to the kiss my neck. Now, like, I want you to slowly undress me. And like, have this go as slow as you want. And you can like kiss him

back and do things to him. And so you're directing it, and then he's understanding what you want. So have him slowly crest your neck or your back or like, and then he'll know, like there is no going down to your pants, and I'll see that you need 10, 15 minutes, two hours. Two hours. Do you think that would help you, menace? Yeah, do some instructional.

Right? Like slowly, it's a game. That's what every guy wants, just some track too. They do, but we don't know how to do it sometimes we get angry We say it once we're like wide-end-y pay attention because people don't change their behavior They're just too afraid to say directly what you want right and so if you don't know like I also feel like I want to be told directly. I'm you do right guys are like dogs You just um exactly what you want right you'll get it You know but again you do have to like keep on training them. Do you do they'll be like okay?

This is what she wanted this one time you know and then I'll keep doing it and then the second time It's back to exactly what it was like it's true. It's like a dog. It's like training a dog Yeah, this is what I want every time right you didn't throw a Right. You like, you didn't just throw a bone once and, and, and to me, Chiro, just do exactly what to bring. No, you got to do like 15 times. So, okay. So about him, she's, she's upset because he doesn't like the kissing and all that.

But I think if you get more for play, you might not be as upset. I think she's just really like a giver. And I feel like Michelle, you're thinking he should want as much for plays I do. But if you really want him, here's another thing, rather than him just doing it, and you can say, you know what babe tonight is about you, you can put some music on, turn the phones off, lie them down and say, I want to put a blindfold on him,

if we'll be down with that, and just give him a massage. Like start to like just say, I don't want you to do anything tonight. Like right now, I'm just going to kiss you, and you just start, you know, kissing, I'm touching him, you can use like a massage candle, pour some wax on him. I think that you might, who doesn't like massage though? Like, it could get him in the mood, slow it down. See what he likes and doesn't like.

If he's like, I wish that hurts, you could be like, do like this. It's good to give options. Like, maybe you could use that touch like with your fingers, like lightly down his back or maybe he wants a massage, like a real like just figure out what touch he likes. Do you want this or do you want this? And then maybe when you that will calm him down to be in the mood because you say you're trying to touch him right now and he's like, oh, that tickles. But again, just like women, he might not be relaxed enough to receive that pleasure and

how good it might feel to be touched in the way that he might not even know what kind of touch feels good to him either. So it just sounds like this is the perfect example we get all the time of just slowing everything down. My favorite sex tip. Yes. Slow it down. So that's what I say Michelle. This is all some good stuff here I think.

Do this. It'll be happy. E Mommy. Let me know it goes. Another email. What? Excited? Did I get you turned on? I think do this, it'll be happy. E Mommy, let me know it goes. Another email? What? Excited? Did I get you turned on?

Yeah, totally. Hi Emily, I love the podcast. You and Meta's make a great duo. Oh hey. Hey. Hi. I recently started dating a guy I met at Tinder. We've been dating for three months

and everything is going great. Oh cool. Uh oh. We've met each other. There's always is going great. Cool. Uh-oh. We've met each other. There's always a bite. Yeah, yeah. Can you imagine something like, no buts, we've met each other families and we instantly hit it off.

We've been playing with the idea of having a threesome with another girl. Already, wow. It is both of our fantasies and I'm very attracted to women so I'm in the hunt for someone to join us. My only fear is that it may change the dynamic of our new relationship. We've set boundaries decided that it would be it would be one time a fun hookup and we wouldn't have any contact with the girl after the fact. Since our relationship is very new, do you think this is a bad idea? Should we build a stronger foundation first? Thanks so much Amy 29, Kovina, California. Oh, Kovina. Kovina.

That's up Kovina. Oh, it's nearest. Yeah. I don't know how you feel about it, but I would say if this is something you want to do, knock it out right away and see what happens because why invest so much in a relationship and then you do it and then you realize, oh, you know what? This actually does affect our relationship and then you invested all that time, you know, might as well just get it out of the way and see

what happens. Yeah. At least that's how I know that's interesting because I was gonna say the fact that you're emailing me if it's a good or bad idea, I think it might not be the right time because it's a new relationship because when you've doubts it might not be a great thing to do and I was gonna say you could have three sums and other ways that you can like fantasize about it and talk about it. Like, I had a boy for it who did this. And he was like, God, I'd picture a woman right now and she's hot and going down on you.

And like to me, that was like a really hot fantasy. Like in my 20s, I was like, wow, that's hot. But we're not actually having a three sum. However, menace you bring up a good point that, when I'm reading this again, Amy saying that she's really attracted to other women. And so, if you really want to do do it and you guys have said this, it might just be prepared that it might change your relationship, but maybe for the better.

Maybe you guys will have three sums all the time, but there is no denying the fact that either way this will change things. It could be for the better, it could be for the worse, and if you can't stop thinking about it and you like, you really want to be with another woman right now I like that you said boundaries I like that you can't have any contact with the girl. I mean these are all sounds like really good rules and boundaries So um it's usually we get emails that my boyfriend wants to have a threesome. I don't know But this is like the woman, but do you want to do something?

No, man This is I was actually going to announce this like making announcement in some other way, but I'm going to say it now since you brought it up. Over the last 11 years, there's often trends in emails we get, you know, people certain topics come up. In the last, I'd say two months, we've had so many emails from women who want three sums. They want to know how to get a third, how to convince their partner. We never got those emails. And even when I was at the sexual health expo, when people came up and asked me questions, two women, how do I find a

third? So it's changing. It's the times of changing women are like, I don't know. And I don't know if it's because the women are out there hunting. I think the women are hunting. I think it's easier for them. Yeah. But they always want to know how to find a third. There's actually a great blog on our website that's the last Hershman who I talk about who I'm taking my somatic a training with. She wrote a blog called I'm a unicorn and a unicorn hunter about her experience because the third is called a unicorn. Yeah, in a three-some relationship, typically the bisexual partner and a threesome. So I would I would check out that blog. If you're interested, I just, I'm amazed by all these women who

are like writing it, not amazed. It's just, I love it, but it just didn't happen before. So I thought you'd like to know that sex with Emily update. I love it. I love it too. All right, Matt, now we got this exciting part of the show or new thing is the voicemails. So thanks everyone for leaving us voicemails. I gave you the number earlier, which is 818-275-7931. So all the info is at sextoleadlin.com. Just click on Ask Emily. This is fun. It's almost as good as meeting everyone

and person is hearing their voices. So I love hearing from you. Here we go, first question. Hey Emily, it's 60th and I live in Studio City. I'm a new listener and I was turned on to your show, but my beautiful and lovely friend Summer who will offer us a show and love you to. You're great. So here's my question. I'm so fascinated by all things women and I've never heard this before until I started listening

to your show about the quadrants of the clitoris or the clitoris or the loris. Anyway, I'm so tell me more about the quadrant and I don't I want to know more about this and anyway just fantastic thanks so much love you and bye all right thank you Steve I know right like Star Wars talk or what like I'm just glad if you found the glitterist and how we're breaking it into quadrants well thank you, Steve Yeah, okay, dude

We just need any way that we can make you understand if you have to use Star Wars analogies We just want you to break it because so here's the see There's lots of nerve endings in the clitoris and the upper left quadrant is the sweet spot It contains the highest concentration of nerves in the human body. And if you built one taste where I went to see my infamous clitoris stroking class I did years ago, random people stroked my clitoris,

which sounds much more sketchy than it actually is. But they kind of mapped out the emotional reflexology of the clitoris, but their findings are pretty classified. They talk about the upper left quadrant being the third eye of home, but here's a deal. If you want to find the upper quadrant of the clitoris or your woman listening and you want to find it on your own, I would try to recommend.

It's a tiny area of crammed with thousands of nerve endings. So look at the clitoris between your legs. on your own, I would try to recommend. It's a tiny area of crammed with thousands of nerve readings. So look at the clitters between your legs. With the top of the clitters, as 12 o'clock, like on a clock face. So to find one o'clock, it's ideally like a small indentation or packet between the hood and your clitters.

So he can use his index finger or you can use yours and you stroke it. Like with the lightest lightest touch possible like if you think it's light like it's almost like you're not even sure if you are touching it That's how light and use the tip of the finger You know, you can use Steve your tip of your finger as like is the is is the pad so you don't want to use like a pointed finger It's like the pad of your finger. And you stroke it at a constant speed for periods of like two to three minutes. And that's what they do in the omeng class.

But the truth is it's really about going slow. Like everything with the clitoris and sex. Like you just want to go slow. But that is like the truth is there is more sensibility. And a lot of women I talk to like I know like when I masturbate like I'm focusing on That upper left quad it like on my clitoris when I live down my 12. It's like to my left like if I'm looking right now my clitoris It's to the so that does that make sense to have a call. It's the water clock. Yeah, I'm a face of clock I'm spatially challenged, so I'm just explaining to you. So that's what it is and it does exist and this super sensitive Yeah, but we could post this or a quadrant thing. We're gonna do that for the show posts.

We'll do that. So keyword quadrant. Quadrant, keyword quadrant. Yeah, I don't even know. That was a great question, though, Steve. Thank you, because if I ever just gave a throw away thing about the quadrant, I understand why you'd want more information because I love men and women who are interested in the clitoris.

Okay, next to email, voicemail. Hey, there, Emily, this is Erin. I'm 28 and I listen to the show on my phone usually while I'm out working. I am just calling because I've been seeing a new guy for a couple of months and everything seems great. He's super sweet. But a few nights ago it came up that his feelings get really hurt because I don't like to cuddle while I'm sleeping. We'll cuddle before bed, but then as soon as I start to sleep, I pull away, I turn my back to him and I fall asleep.

Sounds amazing. I've been single for a couple years before, so I'm just using the sleeping alone, but I just wanted to ask, do you think that I should try to cuddle, try to get more use to the cuddling while I sleep? Or do you think something that he should compromise on and just be okay with cuddling before bed? Thanks so much, let me know, bye. Great question, Erin. Great question, because again, I think this could be a case

of compromising. I mean, your habit is rolling over and just falling asleep and he needs that to feel connected to you. So I would say it can't hurt trying because it doesn't sound like you load the cuddling. It sounds like you're in the habit of falling asleep cuddling and then you roll over, which I think a lot of people do. But I personally like to be

touching the person that I was. So, maybe, you know, touching the person that I'm with when I'm dating them, like, I don't need to be like completely enveloped in his arms the whole time. But you could do like that thing where your legs are wrapped around each other, you know, and you're not really like, you're still touching in that way, but you're not completely embracing, because I know it gets hot, I want to roll away. But people have very different feelings about this. And so I would say, why not try it? See how it goes?

Like, it could be like, you're cuddling, but maybe he's, he needs to make some compromises on what cuddling means to him. Like, if he needs to, again, engulf you, again, just like, you could be holding hands or your feet could be wrapped around each other. But I say, why not? Why not? Like... I'm saying, this is my dream girl here. No, I know. Not cuddling. So it's weird, you know, the typical like, oh, the girl wants to cuddle and the guy doesn't. But he wants, yeah, none of that thing's typical. I mean, my girlfriend doesn't mind not cuddling. She doesn't mind

anything. Like, you never let this one go on minus because she literally put up a video. It's freaking amazing. Like seriously? She should get a medal. What's wrong with me? Well, you know, it just would be challenging. I'm just saying. What's challenging? I don't know. The fact that you probably don't. Even not only do you know the quadrant and the clitoris on that shirt, you know, the clitoris. I can take a stealth fighter and find the caught. If you needed to right but but no Aaron I think those are good

questions like what do you do you're 28 you've been with him I think like you guys got to work on it together um maybe some night Chicago maybe sometimes you don't you might find you like it more than than you realize but if he's I okay so here's my thing with

calling I personally have been with men who just like roll over and fall sleep and I have woken I feel like I am being like abandoned rejected like to me it feels like I have woken up. I feel like I am being abandoned, rejected. Like to me, it feels like I might as well be sleeping alone. And so I like to have some form of physical contact. Like I need that, so I totally get it. And if that's what he needs, again,

you could kind of find a compromise there. But if you can't do it, you can't do it. And then he's just gonna have to deal with it, I guess. But I personally couldn't deal with it. I need that. That's how I feel. All right. Well, you gotta find someone who's not a carler. Yeah that. That's how I feel. All right. Well, you got to find someone who's at a carter.

Yeah. OK, we got one more. Hi, Emily. My name is Ali, and I'm a mid-20 female from Manhattan. And I listen to your show on the Stitcher Podcast app. I was thrilled to meet you on the street on Sunday at She, you're exactly how I imagined you, friendly, articulate, and genuine, truly beautiful inside and out.

My question is, how do I change positions seamlessly and better? I often find that I follow the lead of my partner and fall into the habit of letting him direct our next sex position. Any advice on what I can say or do during sex to ease myself into being in charge of sex transition? Thank you so much. I love your show. And also, my boyfriend is

obsessed with Anderson and the film vault. So hi, Anderson. Bye. Oh, thanks, Ali. It was so nice to meet you. I remember meeting you when I got out of the car and I remember meeting you there in the street. So thank you so much for coming. And God, our listeners are these great, like articulate questions. Okay, Ali, here's a deal. How to transition? He probably takes control because that's how every woman has wanted a lot of guy. They got a lot of pressure on themselves. Men have to make the, typically have to initiate. They got it direct.

I think that you might be overthinking this. If you know that you want just freaking roll, when you're doing a position, you start having sex, climb on top of him. Like do doggy style. Like I know that I've been with guys, when I'm with guys and I'm like want doggy style, just like get on my knees. I will climb on top of him. Like do doggy style, like I know that I've been with guy when I'm with guys and I'm like want doggy style, just like get him my knees.

I will climb on top of them, like they really don't protest. So I don't even know that I could explain to you some kind of like elaborate choreography, but you might just want to be like, God, you know, it feels so good right now and then you climb if you'd like some words. So he knows what's happening. You be like, oh my God, let me try this.

I've been thinking about this. I've been masturbating this all week. And it's like climb on top, do doggy my god, let me try this. I've been thinking about this. I've masturbated into this all week. And it's like climb on top, do doggy. Like whatever, I don't know what you're thinking about. But I would say just do it. And I don't think he's going to protest at all. Guys are so easy. I'm telling you.

We're all in love with a dog. Sexually, I mean communicating with them, not so easy. But I mean sexually, you take over. They're not going to. Guys, love that. I think that, I mean, I, I've, okay, so I think I've yet to hear from a man on this show, in 11 years, hundreds of thousands of emails that have said, like, I'm so bummed that she always is taking control

of the better one doesn't let me do it. Like, never once. You're not going to, you're never going to be that guy. So, Ali, I say, just, I think this is all in your head that you're like, there's got to be a thing, so stop, don't overthink it. When you're having sex with them, just do that thing and then let me know how it goes. And it was great meeting you too and thanks for the kind words. These are fun. That's all we've got time for, but I love these voicemails.

It's great seeing you. I feel like they're here, Ali. I feel like you're here. So things everyone, great seeing you too, Menace. I'm happy that you're traveling everywhere and being here. It feels good. It's really cool. So I want to do more of it. If you're going to be in Europe, if you're going to be in Germany, Amsterdam the next week, follow me on social media, and I will let you know where I'm going to be. Thank you, minus, foul, minus, at minus, foul as the dogs, follow his life. It's so easy to go to show. Yeah. Check it out. Okay, and thank you, producer

Madison, thank you, Jamie, thank you, Laurie, thank thank you Eddie, thank you, Ken. I have an amazing team. I just shout out to Ken. Ken, I love you Ken. I don't know why I've your shout out to you. So thanks for killing the sheet, sexual assault expo, and I love you all. And thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me.

Feedback at sexwiththeemily.com. Let's talk about the orgasm gap. You don't know what the orgasm gap is? Okay, so a little refresher. Men take anywhere between 6 to 8 minutes to orgasm during intercourse. Women between 20 and 40 minutes. You see the issue here? There's like a gap. Even if you don't have an issue with premature ejaculation, the fact remains women take longer to achieve orgasm in the men do. A lot longer. But you can take action. You can. For starters, more for a play. For a play is not just a suggestion,

it's actually mandatory. And to help you narrow the orgasm gap during intercourse, even more, try promising. See, promising is a clinically proven FDA-proof product that can significantly delay ejaculation. So, why is that a good thing? Because if you're able to less song her, you'll have less anxiety about performing. You can focus on being in the moment with your partner, enjoying sex instead of stressing about it. And your partner gets a benefit of a longer, more intense experience. Doesn't that sound much better? Does that more fun?

No more gaps? Not more sex, not more orgasms. God, this sounds good. Permessent is a topical spray that gets applied to the penis to a proven man's stamina. Unlike common-delay sprays that make you numb, permessent is a topical spray that gets applied to the penis to improve a man's stamina. Unlike common delay sprays that make you numb, Permessant is quickly absorbed, allowing you to enjoy the sensations of sex. When used properly, it won't transfer to your partner, which trust me, nobody likes. What other product can help you last longer have better sex, reduce performance anxiety,

and improve your relationship? Exactly, none! And it's easier to buy a promise than ever before because now it's available at your local right aid and target too. That's right you can run out, get some today. Of course you can also click on the progressive banner on my site or visit Probescent.com today. Okay guys turn your volume down for the next minute. I need to tell the lady something. Go ahead, trust me, it's very own good. Alright, ladies, it's just us now.

And I have news for you. Your guy loves to masturbate. Hey, it's natural, healthy, and necessary. Let him know that not only are you cool with it, but that you really want him to enjoy it too. Surprise him with the number one selling toy for men, the fleshlight. Fleshlight's toys feel so real, they're truly the next best thing. They have models created for every preference you can think of, models that are perfect

for travel, and one of our favorites, the Quick Shot. It's an open-ended sleeve that we like to call the hand job helper. And don't think you're guys the only one who benefit from a fleshlight, their famous stamina training unit is all about helping guys learn to less longer in bed. This is the gift that keeps on giving. So if you really want to turn them on, turn them on with a flashlight. It'll be a surprise you won't forget. Just go to sexwithendly.com and click on the flashlight banner right now.