Sex With Emily - V-Day Done Right: A Guide

Episode Date: January 29, 2020

On today's show, Dr. Emily is joined by her trusty team to give you all some Valentine’s Day gift and date ideas! You know, so you don’t have to do all the hard work yourself.They talk give some gift ideas from the romantic to the pleasurable – including a few you can make yourself, games for some “adult” play time, and date ideas that are more than just a dinner at an over-crowded restaurant sure to get your partner’s engine revved.Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFollow Jamie on Twitter: @GarbagePailJameFor even more sex advice, tips & tricks, visit sexwithemily.com Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and on today's show, I'm joined by my trusty team to give you all some Valentine's Day gift and date ideas, you know, so you don't have to do all the hard work yourself. Topics include gift ideas from the romantic to the pleasure ball. Games for some adult kind of play, you know what I mean. Nothing says I love you quite like a DIY idea, some of our lovely favorites, and date ideas that are more than just a dinner and an overcrowded restaurant. All this and more, thanks for listening. Secret institutions. Bedroom eyes. They call them in a bag on a day. Hey, Emily. You got a boyfriend?

Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair stand. Oh, my. The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean, like laundry? It shrinks.

Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh, my God. I'm off here. I'm so drunk. Being bad feels pretty good. But you know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily.

We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. You're gonna love our site. Lot of great blogs down there to help you on this sex journey and also find us on all social media. It is Sex with Emily across the board. Intentions with Emily. So what I've started doing this year is I just want to set an intention for each show

and I encourage you to do the same. So what I mean is when you're listening, like right now, just think like, what do I want to get out of listening to this episode? You know, how could it help you? It might be, oh Emily, I love your team and I love the review shows. That's fine. You know, your team always gives me an idea. Great, or it could be. I want to make sure I do Valentine's Day right this year to show my partner how much they mean to me. My intention for the

show is to give you all some ideas that will not only surprise your partner, but help you have a truly like romantic sexy and pleasure filled Valentine's Day without the stress. God, we don't want it to be stressful. All right guys enjoy the show. All right everyone, it's almost Valentine's Day. You know it's coming February, you go into the stores, it's all the candies, the hearts, 30 in there I think since Thanksgiving they start doing Valentine's Day right? You can seriously like after Christmas, it was all these like sand hats and everything and the next day I go to the CVS by my house And there is Valentine's Day candy and stuff out and I was like holy crap like no

No, wait no pause. They just want you to buy a lot of chocolate and a lot of cards I get it But we also want you guys to be prepared for Valentine's Day whether you're in a relationship or not We are focusing on this show. We have a few shows coming out. So this one we are gonna talk about relationship are not. We are focusing on this show. We have a few shows coming out. So this one we are going to talk about for couples, some ideas, some good gifts, things you could do, DIY, because here's a thing. You can't ignore it. They've been talking about Valentine's Day forever. It's coming up. You want to be prepared, and I want you all to have a fabulous Valentine's Day. So don't be caught with your pants down unless you want your pants down

for Valentine's Day. Um, so, unprepared. Okay, so first, let's talk about some of the sex toys that we believe would make, and sex kits that would make a great gift. What I'm thrilled about to start with is J-Jew, which is a fabulous company. They're actually one of the first brands, one of the first toys I ever tried was the Mimi,

which I love. And now they have a couples kit, which I was so friggin excited they did this, because you get a few of their products in one and it's great for couples. There's something for both of you. So I love this juice bottle vibe, just because I was pleasantly surprised

by the fact that it actually is such a multi-use toy that it was great for internal, great for external and I just love their packaging. I love the way it feels. What about you guys, have you tried? I actually just tried to use the Lisa. Okay, you did, okay, tell me. Yeah, I did.

Cause that was the toy that I picked out at the end of the show. At the show. Okay. Yeah, and I used the toy that I picked out at the adventure. At the show. Okay. Yeah, and I used it, and it was great. Like, I just love the fact that it's smaller because I, I don't know, unless I'm having sex with my partner, I don't usually like want to put something bigger in me. Right.

But that's a personal preference. But I think a lot of people will feel that way. Right, exactly. Yeah. And if the, like how it Yeah. And it's the, like how it feels on the outside, just the silicone, it's really soft. Yeah, it's very, it's a very special,

the special formula of silicone. And it's like, if you pull that out and a guy that you're with or a partner is like, and it was like, oh my God, I'm so nervous about toys. And you were to pull that out to be like, oh, okay.

It's like a magic marker or something. Yeah, it's like, it's like maybe like two and a half, three inches long. It's really small. And like that's the thing too. It's like, by the way, your penis doesn't need to be big.

Like this, and this pleases me, and it's tiny. Tiny. Because the, also remember that the, that the G spot is just, or whatever it is, internal clear or nerves that people all talk about, is about just an inch and a half, two inches inside. So it's more about applying pressure than it is about your penis. So exactly.

Exactly. For many people. For many vagina owners, this, I think, will do it. I think it's a really special product. I'm excited about it. And then, in the couples' kit, you also get a me meo vibrating penis ring. So for the penises out there, this one feels amazing. It's one size fits all. There's a large like literal external stimulator on the top. So if you are having sex with a vagina owner and you're both having

penetrative sex, it can feel amazing because it hits all the spots. Like, I'm a huge fan of penis rings. The other thing is it's great because you don't, you can also use it as a literal vibe. Like, I have them, they send them to me, I try them, I'm like, I don't know about penis round, but I'm going to try this. I remember one time I was going on vacation with someone, I think it was a guy probably was because I had a penis ring. And I was like, oh, I don't have another clitoral toy handy or charge and I use it. And it's just as great for that. So remember, there's like multi use to these things.

You can even put your fingers inside of it and use it to like tease your partner, you know, kind of like hold it that way, like around the middle. So it's really cool, but it does feel great on the penis vibrations, feel good everywhere. Remember, they're not just exclusive for vaginas. Penis is like them. Yeah, and then I just think it's fun because most people think that many sex toys and pleasure products, it's like it's just too enhanced.

Like the people with vaginas pleasure, whereas penis people, you get stuff too. It comes together. So that way it's like, it comes together. Yes, you could come together with this thing. If you wanna come together, come out fresh, but it is a great way to try. Oh, yeah, that's what I'm talking about.

Sometimes we just need the vibration and it's not feeling guilty about it. If you do, it doesn't mean that you're wrong or you're faulty or you're broken. I mean, the majority of women are going to need a little something extra, no matter how fab a penis is, you're going to need some vibrations. There's no shame in that at all. And it's funny. I had a friend stay with me this weekend and she's like, I've noticed lately that I just, I can, I really need more stimulation, more sensation. And you know, she's in her late 40s down,

she's just like, I feel like I need more. And she was like kind of feeling bad that she did, because she was always able to orgasm and just with a mouth, sometimes with a penis. I'm like, that is so typical. And okay, we feel apologetic if we have to, I almost think of it like gear for working out. Like I remember this, like, right? Like I remember going to, okay, this was almost think of it like gear for working out. Like I remember this like, right?

Like I remember going to, okay, this was like 20 years ago, I was in Malaysia. Backpacking. And I hired this, this local guy to take me up this volcano, right? To hike up a volcano. And I had all of my western gear. I had my hiking boots. I had like my Patagonia jacket, so whether the storm and the wind when you get to the top, all these things.

And he hiked up this mountain, it was like a 10 hour hike in flip flops. And we both got to the top of the mountain. I had some extra gear that made it more comfortable. Like I feel like I didn't need all the gear I had. I'm like, I guess I could do it in flip flops. So I'm just saying we both got to the top of the mountain. That's your equivalent of if you're gonna have an orgasm

and you're gonna feel good, there doesn't matter how you get there. And I think believing that it only has to be with a penis and that is the device someone's hand or their mouth, it's just a little extra something, something. It's like a little extra fun. I don't know. It really is, no, because it's like, of course.

Yeah, I don't need running shoes. I don't need like a camel bag, I don't need it. But wouldn don't need like a camelback. I don't need it. But wouldn't it be amazing if I did? Yeah, I think I had my camelback as well. You're right. Yeah, exactly. Right, but you have it because we make our technology.

Did we need computers, do we need phones? I mean, now, you know, no, but you guys just make our lives a little bit easier. And I promise you, if you haven't tried to, you still feel shame about it. Just call me. Yeah. And you get this present. And if you're not around each other, you don't need to be like, feel shame about it. Just call me. I know. And you get this present, and if you're not around each other, you don't need to be like,

oh, I need to be with this person to use it because you each have your own. Right. Exactly. Fun for everyone. Or you could do a mutual masturbation session, which is one of my favorite things to do. Yes, I can't wait to do that with my new partner.

I know. It would be fun. That you've so much to do, James got a new partner. I know. All of your things with someone who's like willing it seems like ready and willing. He just wants to like do anything that will make me feel great and that is just very nice. That is so nice. Very attentive.

I love this. Me too. I know. Hey! We love it. Okay so that is the J.J. couples kit. That is a new kit they put together so I love that. I love it. Okay, so that is the J.J. couples kit. That is a new kit they put together, so I love that. I love it, check it out.

Okay, then we have our latest date night box. This is the Sex with Emily date night box. And this one is called Getting Warmed Up. And we have four a year, so they're quarterly boxes. And this one I'm obsessed with. This one comes with the Wevibe Touch. It's a great, literal vibe. I would say that this is one of my standards.

So he's charged, it's always ready to go. It feels, it's great for couples play too. You could use, it's really, it fits nicely in the palm of your hand and it has just excellent sensations and vibrations. So that comes in the back, that's one thing. But then you have Missile oil from Exynz, and Exynz makes really cool body products.

They make like that tingling lip balm. Oh, I love those. I know, they make really great things. So this massage oil is really great, and then there's a candle, little sex with Emily candle. Nice. And then there's melting rose petals for the bath.

Ooh, so you can really make, like, for I can just pick this right now, Valentine's Day, especially if you're in a cold-ass place, like the Midwest. Ooh, so you can really make like, for I can just pick this right now Valentine's Day, especially if you're in a cold ass place like the Midwest. Yes. Feel free out there. You warm, you write the candles, you draw a bath, you have the rose petals in it, and then afterwards you can massage each other with this massage oil.

Yeah, I mean, you guys, this is amazing. Valentine's Day should be about bringing the romance. Do something sexy. I understand like maybe you want dinners and flowers and all that stuff, but really, if you have been wanting to connect to your partner, you've been wanting to have the conversation about sex, try something new like Valentine's Day is literally sitting

there in front of you saying, tonight, do it, try me. It's a day of love and a day of sex. So that's not all that comes in this. We have the foria intimacy. There's a packet of love and a day of sex. So that's not all that comes in this. We have the foria intimacy. There's a packet of the foria intimacy, which is the CBD pre-loom. And then there's more loom. This is awesome. They have the muse-loom packet.

So you can try the flavored loom, all the ones that we talk about that are great for oral sex. Then they have uberloom. It has a screaming o-stroker. Great for penises. It's a little something different. That's nice. I know.

And I like this one because it's open-ended. Yeah. It's an open-ended stroke or so. Like you put rapid on your penis and it has little nubs on the inside that just kind of feel a little bit different. So you could add the Loube to the stroke or give a killer hand job on Valentine's Day. Have you not done that since middle school?

It's time. Bring back the hand job. Right, maybe you ate dinner already and you ate a bunch of ununiting things, you brushed your teeth, it's still coming through. You don't wanna use your mouth, just hand job it up. Seriously, I'm telling you guys, get some of these tools.

If you're not in the mood, you could sit there with one hand, please your partner. You don't have to use all these in one night. What I love about this is you can mix and match and use this not just for Valentine's Day, but so many nights until the next box comes. And then it also comes with lucky sex scratchers. So it's sort of like a fun little sex lottery game. That's cute. Yeah, you get to like scrape off and then it tells you, you know, what to do, how to play with each other. So that

is fun. There's your Valentine's Day right there. So that is Sex Family Box. It's right up. Oh my God. You get that at our site. Yeah, you sex with Emily.com slash box. Yeah, I mean, I just think why not, especially if you're not good at this stuff, which me, I don't feel like I am very romantic. I come up with sex stuff, so that's different, but not in this way. I would not on my own. Romance. Yeah, bad.

Yes, never in my life. So I'm just like, thank God someone did it for me. Well, that's the thing and that's what people are loving the boxes and we've only had this box with good vibrations for a little over a year. And we've had so many people are like, thank you, you know, I appreciate it because it comes in the mail and every, you know, few months, you're like, oh, you get a great toy and you get all these other things to play with. So is again, I'm all about helping you guys become better communicators in your relationship so you can get your needs met. So, if you listen to this podcast together and that helps to stay with the conversation,

if you get a box filled with sexy products, you know, four times a year and that helps amazing. So, that's why, you know, and it comes with a little carteted explaining how to use everything and gives you different scenarios. And if you listen to this show, you know we talk about all these sexy things to do as well. You know, how to give a massage and how to use everything and gives you different scenarios. And if you listen to this show, you know we talk about all these sexy things to do as well. You know, how to give a massage and how to tease. I think what I like about this box as well is for so many of you, I think the tease for everybody

is really hot. I think just jumping right into the, you know, pounding away sex is something that you can do any night of the year, hopefully you don't, but not at hopefully you do it less than you actually are just moving forward and pounding away, but this is a build up into sex. So maybe you massage, take a bath, then massage,

then play with all of these things, and there's your sexy night. And remember, the more turned on, we are, it takes time, like I say, women are slow-cookers, men are frying pans, so if you can build you can build up the tension and play with each other and then you know you're gonna have sex, I think that's a super hot. Not too, I like it.

All right, so then the next thing is the lioness. This is a great gift for your partner. This is all like this crazy sex tech stuff that's happening right now. It's super exciting, what is happening? So what the lioness is, it helps you learn more about orgasms, either for yourself or for your partner. So what it is, it is a great rabbit style vibrator,

meaning it has an external little prong on it for extol simulation and it goes inside, but it has these sensors that are wrapped around it that you pair with an app. It is so cool. We've tried it. It's like, oh my god, of course we tried it. I don't tell you guys about anything

that I actually have not tried. So you put it inside and it tells you what kind of orgasm you have because it identifies a few different types of orgasms. So I use it three times and I could tell that there was, it was the ocean wave, volcano, ocean wave. And then there's like volcano, meaning you like an intense explosion. And then you get to mark, and then you get to learn

about your orgasmic pattern. So it's really just a great way for you to learn about, you know, what really works for you. Like you can see how long it takes to orgasm where your spikes and pleasure are. You can also add notes to it. So maybe you had wine that night, maybe you had a full stomach, maybe you were watching porn leading up to this orgasm. Like what was happening? So then you can learn to track and understand, you know, your orgasmic experience and then share that with a partner. Well, that because I feel this is a issue that people are emailing in about all the time.

I can't orgasm with my partner. I can orgasm with a toy or this or that, but you also, I never keep, I don't have a masturbation journal, so I'm not like, oh, like these are all the elements that went into this, because I get chronic migraines and my doctor's always like, write down what you do during the day

and like what you had to eat and what the temperature was like and all the stuff so you can identify your triggers, but I never would think to do that for orgasms or pleasure. That's such a good point. Yeah, why not? If you want to become better at anything and you want to get to the bottom of something and we want to understand how it works for us, you got to put a little time into it.

So I, you know, tracking it and writing it down, I mean, you guys, I was, when I came into this job, I was not having the kind of orgasms I have now. Like it's something that you have to work at, you have to educate yourself, you have to like try out different things. And so if you're somebody who needs to, you know, track things and you enjoy this, like your Fitbit or your Apple Watch or whatever you're doing right now, this is sort of like that. It's like, yeah, exactly.

It's like a Fitbit for your orgasms. And then you can also like when you're actually masturbating if you'd like, like your partner can be looking at the screen and seeing like the little tremors and the, like, when you're squeezing, when you're not squeezing, like, they can actually follow along, which like, I don't know, I just think that would be really cool. I would totally want to see it be like,

oh my god, you're clinging right now. Right. Exactly. It's like, I've never seen anything like this, you know? It's been getting a lot of attention to in the tech space, which I love. Sex tech. That is the Lioness and all this stuff you can find on our website.

The next one for Valentine's Day gifts, the enclosed lingerie subscription service. This is a really cool gift that keeps on gifting. You choose these beautiful lingerie sets and then the enclosed customize it and makes the box really elegant and really sexy. You get these boxes and you open it up and just the whole experience, you're like before you even open it, you're like, this is really beautiful and you slide it open and then there's like rose petals in it and then you get this beautiful pieces of lingerie and it comes once a month. So you could do it together or do it a surprise for your partner. I got it. So my

first pair of underwear that they sent me just to see if I liked it. I was like, oh my God, I love these. It just made me, it just is another element that just go into the store and buying lingerie. It just makes it an experience and then to know it's going to come every month. I love the underwear I got. And then they sent another one to me and they're like, oh, they message me and she's like, hey, I sent you something else, but I think it's the wrong size. And I was like, okay, well, I got it and turns out it wasn't my size, but it was Jamie's size. And oh my god, I wish you could share the picture with everybody. It's this red, sexy, bodysuit.

Yeah. It was literally gorgeous. It will one, I mean, the compliment out of the box too, it's just, it is a reveal in it will one. I mean the compliment out of the box too. It's just It is a reveal in it of itself There's someone says if you know what it's gonna be like when you reveal it to your partner Because it's like this exciting thing you like pull it out and you're like, oh my god This is hot. I can't wait to get in it like there's rose petals and like I like that I need to have the stamp the stamp the melted. Yeah. Yeah, the seal That just always makes it feel like

I know elegant like the stamp. The stamp, the melted stamp. Yeah, yeah, the seal. That just always makes it feel so nice and elegant. When I tried it on, I put it on and I was like, fuck. I was like, I was starting off my self. I was like, I know. I was literally like, oh shit, I had, I show, of course, I showed Emily a picture and she's like, holy crap. Because it's just, it is, it's a one piece thing and it's got all these strings everywhere, but it was actually really easy to put on. At first I was like, how do I do this?

But then I figured it out really easily. And it just cups your body so well and it's like comfortable and it's stretchy. So it's like lingerie sometimes. People get excited about it and then they rip it. And I'm like, I just spent so much money on this thing. Right. And you just ripped it.

But this I feel like would be hard to rip. It would be hard to rip. Yeah, that was like a, it was beautifully made. I mean, that's the thing is that they enclosed what I've come to find out is it's, they have a lot of different choices. You can get thematic things. You can just send bras or underwear, but it's high quality. Yeah.

And then for like less price. So it's really beautiful stuff. And then apparently you get $35 off orders, $100 or more. That's a good gift. That's a good little discount. Yeah, because a good laundry, a good laundry, you want to spend the money on it like quality. And then it's too.

It's like it's coming. Once a month, you can always switch things up, but you don't have to go to the store to buy stuff and then get discouraged if you don't find anything you like there. And to be honest, I never want to go shopping for lots like bathing suits. I don't want to go shopping for it,

but you get to do their like size quiz online. So they make sure that you're getting the right size for your partner. And I guess they do have a very good track record of making sure that you are getting the right size. And that's at getinclose.com. Use code Emily, but I think getting close.com is our thing. So $35 off. I think that of a hundred dollars or more. And the other thing I want to say is, we get so many subscription boxes,

you get like beauty products or dog treats, or I mean, there's subscriptions for everything, but I feel like these are stuff that you're actually going to use, and it's going to remind you to be in your body, feel sexy. I mean, people might think like, oh, lingerie, you know, it really does work. Like when you put that on, like,

you feel amazing when you're wearing something that is sexy. Like if that is what makes you feel amazing when you're wearing something that is sexy. If that is what makes you feel hot, and you can get any other, it doesn't have to be lace. They have cotton stuff. Find stuff that makes you feel good because there's nothing like getting dressed for it, and then that also can help kind of feel like, oh yeah, I am sexy. Get you in the mood. And something you just surprise your partner with. We love them. And I like that they have, along with a lot of their actual brown panty sets, they have matching little robe coveralls

because those are just, those are fun from when you are, like, by yourself or like, right after. Like, there's just, like, you feel pretty being in it and sometimes you just wanna go to bed feeling nice. Exactly. You should wanna feel nice and sexy. Yeah. And it's a woman owned company and she's awesome.

So check that out. The other gifts we like is the Vesper, if you didn't get one for the holidays, Vesper by Crave. I do have a lemon edition one. It's the Sex the Emily Vesper. It's a super elegant vibrator that you wear as necklace. It looks like a little pen if you haven't seen it yet. I guess we can assume everyone's seen it. Even though I've been so excited about it for a few months, so you could check it out. But it's like, I wear it every day. It is a vibrator that works. It absolutely does work.

It's not just like a showpiece. And it's USB rechargeable. It is a great gift. We have these limited edition phrases that are sexually-friendly. I come first, turn me on or meditate, masturbate, manifest. You can find that. It's sexwithmla.com slash vesper. I know Lisa wears it every day too.

At her other job, she used it in the bathroom. Is that true? It's true. Yeah, it is true. Yeah. She was way too saying she's like, I need a break. I'm gonna go on the bathroom. I mean, it literally is that kind of thing. There was nothing going on.

Yeah, it's just so small and easy and affordable. You always have a vibrator. And, yeah, it's not just for women. I'm telling you, it's for everybody. Remember, vibrations feel good for all. And they're really reasonable. You can get the silver, the rose gold, or the gold that goes up in price. But it's a really clever, like I give it to you literally everybody and they're like,

oh my God, people kind of freak out about it. And I think Valentine's Day is a great day for this too because a lot of times you do get jewelry for Valentine's Day. Right. So it's like a nice thing that you can just like, like at, so even if your partner at first doesn't even know what it is, they're like,

oh, this is a great necklace. And then like what does fucking call surprise? But it also vibrates. And it's like, I think because of the materials, it's like so easy to clean it too. Because obviously like after you use it, don't put it back on your neck without it. Right. Just clean it with a damp cloth. Damn cloth. Damn cloth. Yes.

And, um, yeah. And if you want to listen more tea chain was on our show and she talked about it, she's, she's the inventor designer and, um, you know, it's become sort of like the secret club. Like, it's funny because I wear it and there are when I'm out like, oh, is that the vibrate of necklace? And it's like before. Have you? Yeah. It's are when I'm out like, oh, is that the vibrate of necklace? I don't know. I've got a club before. Have you? Yeah, it's like this club. I mean, people are starting to hear about it.

I love it. And it starts the conversation. Because the more you wear it, the more you want to talk about it. Yeah. Exactly. Exactly. You know, I feel like that what's like you, when you need it's on your neck and you're just like, you're fidgeting with it, you're like,

I really hope someone asks me about this. I always kind of, it's kind of a fun little like, what's it called? Like those squeeze, but like a stress relief. I'm just kind of holding it and playing with it, you're like, I really hope someone asks me about this, right? I always kind of, it's kind of a fun little like, what's it called, like those squeeze, but like a stress relief. I'm just kind of holding it and playing with it and fondling it around my neck. So those are some fun gifts you guys. You can also check out WevellBunches. Stuff on our site too. There's like kits and I just think make something sexy for all of you. If you're in a relationship, get a sexy gift. Forget the roses. Get roses in the laundry. We're gonna take a relationship, get a sexy gift. Forget the roses. Get roses in the laundry.

We're gonna take a quick break and we come back more Valentine's Day. [♪ OUTRO MUSIC PLAYING [♪ I, why, gifts. Do it yourself. And I think these are super special. And this is the way like if you, I think it means a lot, no matter what kind of a relationship, how long you've been together. I think it just, it means that you really like care. And it takes a moment to just kind of put down your thoughts and to create something special for your partner. So here's an idea. I had night, I actually remembered this. This is, okay, so I have this crate of letters. I call it my lovelace.

A huge crate of letters that I've received over the last 30 years, from partners in relationships. They were like cards, they wrote me your letters, and then some of them are printed emails. And it's like correspondence. And I had a fun, I was like, because I really want wanna bring these in. I think there's something we could do with them.

So I brought it in and I found this great postcard that I had a boyfriend send me. He bought a postcard and on the, you know, the front of it was just a great, you know, pretty photo. So you could do, if you could even make a photo postcard of you and your partner. And then he like paced something on the back. He created a puzzle and I think you could probably

now get a lot of these online, like a puzzle card. And then he in the in the mail, I got an envelope with all the puzzle pieces. And then I put them together, just like 10, 15 pieces. It's pretty easy to do. And then on the front was a photo and on the back was like a letter to me that he had written. And it was, um, it was a really like loving, thoughtful gift. Like in these moments, when you do something that thoughtful, it's like, what else do you need, really?

That was a fun one, right? That was cool. And then you could also do, this is something great. I'm actually doing this. I've done this for friends. I've done this for lovers to get a Mason jar. And you could design the Mason jar on the outside. And then on the inside, you can put little sticky notes in it

or little notes that just say either things that you love about your partner, things that you want to try, favorite sexual memories, and you could just write little notes and then every day or once a month they can pull out a little note about what you love about them. It's actually if you have a partner who their love languages is words, words of affirmation. And then if you're having a down day, what a nice thing to be like, I'm just gonna go to my jar and pick something out. And it just could like really lift your spirits.

Like maybe that's all you need to like get a little pep in your step in a day. Like oh yeah, my partner does love me. You know when you go to those moments, you're like, I can't stand them. Right? If you get in a fight too and you're like, oh, I'm so mad at them,

but you pull one of those out of the, oh, okay, this is why I'm with them. Yeah, it is a mind trick, you guys. You have to get back into the mindset and remember why you love someone. And I think this is a great way to do it. I was actually talking to a friend the other night and she said to me, sometimes I'm so mad,

but then I'm like, remember, because he has an accent. And he's from another country. She's like, remember when you loved his accent? Remember what he did. Like, he was a martial arts fighter. Like, she was going to her head to remember all the things that she loved about it

when they fell in love, because he's no longer doing some of those things, but she was kind of remember her mindset when she met him. And she was actively walking me through the thing she does to get herself back into remembering why you fell in love. So I think it's important however you need reminders. So that's one thing. You could also do a little scavenger hunt. You could hide clues or presents around them house. They could go on a sexy scavenger hunt. You could hide clues or presents around them house,

and they could go on a sexy scavenger hunt, so you could leave little clues everywhere. So in every time they find a note, you could put chocolates, little knick knacks, write love messages, and you could do, to have to sit in a little chase around the house, and then when they get to the end, that could be a sex toy,

or a piece of laundry, or something really, really special. They're's fun. Right? I want, I would love it. Because at first of all, I love any kind of puzzle games, like scavenger hunt stuff, like things like that. I love that. I feel like you should do this one for your partner. I don't, is it too soon?

Okay. This is what I'm, okay. What are you gonna do? Pause on the help for you guys. Pause. Let's help Jamie. Sex with Jamie. Sex with Jamie. Is it too, I feel like it's too soon.

It's only been a week of like being like officially. Well this is a great question. People wanna know what do I do if we've been together a week, a month, a year? About that point, that point it'll be a year. And I'm not a year, sorry, a month. And I'm sure that we're gonna hang out cause it's a Friday.

Which is such a blessing this year in a way. But I don't know because I might be like, oh, here's obviously I'll probably wear something nice. Something lingerie, and I can bring out a different toy or something new to try in the bedroom. But I don't know, I don't want to put any pressure on you either. I don't know if he's't want to put any pressure on you either. Like, I don't know if he's going to do something or say anything. I think you talk about it ahead of time. We're like, let's just call Valentine's Day

it's Friday night. I'm making a weird. I know I'm used to this. I know. And feel like I'm thinking of making dinner. And then you could just say, I think that's, yeah, you know, came maybe next year to the scavenger on. But I know what you're saying, but it could be fun.

You could also say, my boss is making me do this. You could play me. Right. Yeah, you could have sexy night. That'd be a good time. And this is another thing I want to mention is like putting out, when you said a new toy, I think this is a great night for anyone to try something new. So things that you have lying around the other kid could be blindfolds.

It could be a paddle, bondage tape, if you want to try bondage. You know, I think this is a good night just to try something new. So maybe you just think about what you want because you know that you are the leader in the sex info for this guy. Like, you're the one who's going to bring the excitement, which is a lot of pressure. But it's true. Welcome to my world.

It's never going to change. You're always going to be the one that knows more than your partner. Yeah. But I think I love this Gavin Jordan idea. I think maybe next year for sure if we're so hopefully. Oh, so what are you going to do then? I mean, I'm thinking that I don't want to like make a whole plan, but definitely like. I would like to maybe let's say, okay, let's have a Friday night where we don't hang out with everybody else and we hang out alone.

Because we usually hang out like during the week by ourselves with them on the weekends. We're in the same friend group, so it's like we just all hang out alone. Cause we usually hang out during the week by ourselves but then on the weekends, we're in the same friend group. So it's like, we just all hang out together. So maybe we'll just be like, let's just be on our own and like, you can make food and have a little thing, like that's the thing we're gonna talk about. We're gonna talk about some date and night ideas,

but one of them I love is having an indoor picnic. You could have that like, oh I think I'll do that. Yeah, just get some fun stuff that you like to eat. You don't know to cook, you, stop at the store and get all these fun little finger foods and you could like, feed each other and have it all candlested up in your room. What if you like blindfolded each other

and like fed each other different things? Yes. What it was. I don't know, that sounds fun. That would be fun. I would so be down. And then also to add a twist to this indoor picnic, because the picnic's usually very open.

I actually have these really tall like bar chairs and like extra sheets. I wanna make like a fort. Ooh. And like have like a sexy fort. That is hot. Yep, I love that idea. It's very like.

And then I'll have candles outside the fort so that nothing burns down. Right, good, good thinking. And then I, we have a projector. And then we have a projector. So maybe we put a projector in porn. Oh, I want to come. I can't. It sounds like my birthday is coming.

Oh my God, man, that actually sounds great. Like my boss is here again. She won't leave me alone. I'm Valentine's Day, I'm really, really. You're at my house. I'll be texting you, Pillay by Place, things are going well. Oh, she's now acting the porn. Her gloves is up. Yeah, exactly. That would be things are going well. Now I'm acting the porn. I love this cheap.

Yeah, exactly. That would be fun to walk in and have the projector and the lights, like a field of the smell, like sense that are really good. Yeah, and like, I, okay, so this is funny because I always ask people what kind of porn they're into, because I'm curious. So I asked him, I was like, hey, so look what kind of porn do you watch? And then he was just saying, he's like, I don guy, I mean, I don't know, just like stuff. I guess I like different things all the time.

He's a little bit of a connoisseur, I guess, I don't know. He's like, guys always feel like they don't want to tell you. I know, because you're going to jump, because most people do jump. Which I get. I completely get. But they know me and they know he knows these two. So I'm like, and then so he's like,

what are you in tune? I was like, well, I like, you know, like very much like, like domination, submissive porn. I like also when there was like a I was like, well, I like, you know, like very much like, like domination, submissive porn. I like also when there's like a lot of like spanking in it or if like there are situations that I can imagine myself in, like there's this one where it's like a doctor patient thing, which is not what I'm really into, but both of the toys they use I have. Okay. You could recreate us in a porn scenario.

It's very like that is great. But I just felt like I was like, he's like, oh, that's really hot and I'm like, yeah, I want to know specifics. Like tell me specifics. I just told you my specifics. So he didn't. It's fine. Maybe he doesn't watch porn.

I don't think he watches a lot, but I also don't know. I don't know how often he masturbates. I feel like I'm very open about mine and I'm getting him there. Like he's open about stuff, but like, and he like, when I talk about it, but. Yeah, I think that he's probably never been asked before.

And maybe he had shame around it. And if he has been asked, probably like, are you masturbating? You know, are you watching porn? Like, because most, I believe there's a misunderstanding in a lot of women are really insecure about their partners watching porn. And you guys, I was there when I was 24 years old, 25, I really didn't understand why my partner had,

I was so shocked and upset that he was watching porn. And I was like, but I thought we were having this great, he's the one who did the puzzle for me. I'm like, great sex, great love affair. Like I didn't understand that it's just a totally part of being sexually healthy is like watching some porn. Like having an experience and releasing,

having an orgasm is a great stress reliever. And it didn't take away from his feelings for me. So that's it. And then also another DIY is a great stress reliever and it didn't take away from you know his feelings for me. So that's it. And then also another DIY is a scrapbook of your best times together. So it could just be like pictures, words, momentos, anything that would just kind of make them feel special. I just like, you know, giving your partner some words, reinforcing why you love them. Another thing is just also writing like in the way when you wake up in the morning, I Valentine's Day, like writing things like unlipped stick on the mirror and the bathroom if you guys live together or just like leaving different notes around.

I just think this is a great night to do it to reinforce your love and what you love about it. Who doesn't like to hear why someone loves you? Yeah, those little special things. If you don't normally do this kind of stuff, how surprising and great. I mean, is that right? Okay, some date night ideas. You could recreate your first date, or think about as much as you possibly can. You could recreate the scenario,

like if you saw a movie, you could like rent the movie, or you could go to the place you had dinner, or drinks, or maybe there was an event that you went to, you could play that music at your house if it was like a concert or something. So kind of the things that, it's kind of like my friend remembering that I fell in love with his accent, I fell in love with his,

I feel like a proudness. Think about what you, you know, where you fell in love with that moment was, what you, what you did that where you fell in like, I'd say it was the first date. Yeah, and if you fell in love in the first date, but, you know, something that was really memorable, bring that back to light.

Wouldn't it be cool too, if you still fit into the same outfit and you remember what you wore Yeah, that could be cute You're like or even if you told your partner like I remember this is what you were wearing and they're like, oh my god That's amazing. How did you remember that like those little D those little things that you're like? I can't believe it you remembered that mm-hmm Like it's just nice. It's just secure like oh shit like you're paying attention I think we all want to feel like, we all want to feel seen.

Yeah, I think we all want to be adored and cherished. And I think that this is a great time to do it. You have a day that's devoted to this and your relationship. So we talked a little bit about the indoor picnic inside your living room or outside in your backyard if it's not freezing. And you could get some of your favorite foods. Like you could go to the store and just get little finger foods. You could get, you know, put a blindfold on your partner and feed them like chocolate, strawberries, flavored loops. Like, mues, oh my god, imagine.

Because then you could be like, oh, what is this taste like? And they could say mint chocolate. And then you could put it on your body part and then bring their face to that body part. Oh, that's great. Like, because you guys, these mues, loops are so delicious. and you could put it on your body part and then bring their face to that body part. That's great. Like, because you guys, these muse loops are so delicious, that's what you're gonna do. I'm gonna do all of these.

This is just everyone, I hope you know, we're planning my best. No, we are. I'm like, okay, Jamie, I love this. These little muse loops are so great because they're not like, I think that people might have had bad experiences with some loops. It tasted just not great.

There's a weird advertise, but these are body safe. There's like a chocolate one, crem boulet, caramel, crem boulet, caramel, crem boulet, and salted caramel. Yeah, there's caramel. There you go. That's a fun game. And lick it off this body part. Tell me what flavor it is.

This is fun. I take notes and remember what you did. You could also cook a meal together. If you guys are into cooking and just wear an apron. I think that's nice. As long as you're not cooking anything with grease flying around. Right. Exactly. Good point. Safety first. Or like and if you have kids and maybe you can't be naked but. Get out of town for a night. Yeah, get a sweet that has a kitchen in it. Exactly. I think hotels should have like, I don't think of how you, if you can't get a babysitter that night.

Yeah, get one with hotel or if you don't, you know. You should be a good, I would have. Hotel. It should be like a hotel that has daycare for kids when you, for Valentine's Day, or like some kind of service that's like, it's like a kids like a community group night. Where the kids go and the parents can have their Valentine's, I think that would be a great service. I know.

It would be, and like you just get the hotel room for a night or for a few hours. Yeah. Yeah. That could be another one of our businesses. We're gonna add that to the list. Adding it. Adding it to the list.

And then you guys games are really fun too. So again, anything that can like elicit this kind of conversation and enhance your intimacy, creative conceptions makes really cool gifts, really cool games. And one is called monogamy. It's like a board game like monopoly. They want called sex parts, sex marks the spot. They want called oral fun. And it kind of gives you little tips for oral. And then like just naughty sex dice. Get some of those. You roll it. And that kind of gives you instructions like for oral. And then like just naughty sex dice. Get some of those, you roll it, and it kind of gives you instructions like to what to do to a certain body part in what room. Kind of like clue.

Yeah, and with the butcher, with the rolling pen, in the kitchen, or whatever. But like, you ever play clue? Yeah, I love it. It's kind of like that sexy dice, and they're like 10 bucks. They are, they are. They are cheap. And like, because it's like, it's like, oh, if you're always doing the same

positions to like this, at least you can maybe start out with a different one than you normally do. Right. Or it causes you to like have sex longer, which how long the sex build the enhanced intimacy, build the teasing, the build up is sometimes can be that the hottest part. Like when you first meet someone and the tensions are building,

you can recreate that on Valentine's Day. That's what you want for all of you. Okay guys, I hope you have a wonderful Valentine's Day and we are sending you love from here. Thank you, Jamie and Alisa. Everything we talk about, you can find on our website and we'll have some more shows coming out for a single on Valentine's Day and what you can do.

But we're here with you, we love you all. If you like this show, rate us five stars. We love that. We're ever listening to do it right now. Spotify, SoundCloud, Google Play, iTunes. And it's also awesome if you review us an iTunes that really helps. Thanks to my incredible team.

I love you. Happy Valentine's Day. Ken, Kristen, Alisa, Brian, producer, Jamie, and Michael. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithamleap.com.