Sex With Emily - Virgins, Cuckolds, and Unicorns

Episode Date: August 26, 2016

Do men and women share the same fantasy when it comes to threesomes? According to science, definitely not. But that doesn’t mean they’re ruling them out… In this show, Emily is joined by Menace and her San Francisco friend Stacy to traverse a range of love and sex topics. Are you perplexed by your lack of success in the dating world? Is your inexperience causing your lover to enjoy sex less? The triad lends their honest advice on all this and more, and Emily gets real about her recent transition from a past relationship to her dating present. Whether you’re suffering from post-orgasm exhaustion, want to bring your bashful babe to bed without scaring her off, or are curious to know what factors produce a perfect threesome, this show will have you breaking out your notepads! Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily today's show from dating disappointments to fetish uncertainties to what to make the perfect threesome according to science. We're covering a wide range of love and sex topics in today's podcast. Enjoy! Lube. Ah, you know I never stopped talking about it. And for good reason.

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toy cleaner. The certified organic natural love line, along with all the joe personal care products, is now available on my store. Just go to sexwithemely.com and click on the shop with Emily or the joe banner. Trust me, this Lou is going to change your sex life. Into his eyes They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex Eyes that mark our sacred institutions Betrubized they call them in a bike on day. Hey, Emily You got a boyfriend because my man E here. He just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute The girls got everything. Oh my the women know about shrinkage isn't it common?

What do you mean like laundry? It's shrinks and we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm so dumb. Being bad feels pretty good. You know Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, go to sexwithemlee.com where you can easily subscribe to the podcast. And you know what? You know what happens when you subscribe, right? Well, it helps us when you subscribe, but it helps you too, because if you listen to podcasts, men as you taught me this. Yes. If you listen to podcasts, have you really

been listening to podcasts and you go back and it goes back to the beginning? Well, if you subscribe, it'll keep your knee a little place, minute 17, whatever, 28, have you ever been listening to podcasts and you go back and it goes back to the beginning? Well, if you subscribe, it'll keep your neat little place, minute 17, whatever, 28, and you go right back to it. It's great. So we love that. And you can also follow us on Snapchat. We're snapping away now during the show, Twitter and Instagram. It's all at sexwithemily and facebook.com slash just with slash sex with family. Facebook.com slash such with Emily, where we hit a million over a million followers now. And we promise, we promise that Facebook.com slash.com where we hit a million over a million followers. We promise that Facebook lives. Facebook lives. If you want to know about Facebook lives, also sign up for our million lives because we've got killer.

I send you one email a week. Everyone loves it. We give you like, we tell you, we kind of wrap up the sector of the early week because we do a lot of videos. You guys check out our YouTube page. We're always trying to educate you how we can get and entertain you and educate you. So we've got blogs, we went up every day, every day, fun stuff like that. And okay, we're end of August. Hey, men, do you know it's September is? What? Well, for a lot of people, it's back to school, right? Back to school, you get your

office supplies, all that. But this month, it's sex with Emily, we're taking you back to sexual confidence month. We're going to help you get that sexual confidence that you need, that you've been wanting. And if you're talking to ladies or fellas, everyone really don't you men just do listen to the emails that come in. We've all got sexual insecurities. We've all got places where we, you know, a lot of times you can feel really confident. Other times you're like, God, I gained a few pounds or maybe that was really bad blow job I gave, or maybe she didn't like me.

And once we do more in the bedroom, we hear from people all the time who are lacking confidence. And we know confidence is a huge part of success in life. But when it comes to confidence in the bedroom, that's what we're gonna happen this month. And we're gonna do a ton of giveaways, cause I know you want some fun products and toys.

So you can have better sex. We'll kick it off from the September. Back to your self-confidence. The rest of the year, you're just going to kill it. All right, good. All right. How are you doing, Menace? I'm great. I have a new dog. Shimmy. Shimmy and Churro. Yeah, my two little French bulldogs, my two little babies.

Yeah. I did that. You're all going out. Yeah, it's great. Now everything's good. And then the Woody Show is doing great. We can't wait to have you back on. I was a blast. We're about to launch in a couple other cities right now. That's exciting. It probably.

We're like days away from that right now. That's really exciting. Like syndication. Yeah. Wow, dude. It's crazy. You're a big time. I can't believe it.

I love it. Yeah, do you like her billboard? I love it when she's like, you'll hate it. What's the one who will probably hate it? Yeah, that's such a brilliant billboard. It says the Woody Show, you'll probably hate it. I love it. Do you like our billboards? I love it when you're like, you'll hate it. What's the one you want to move on? You'll probably hate it. Yeah, that's such a brilliant billboard. It says, the Woody show, you'll probably hate it. Yeah, we have that one.

Now sucks 40% less. Right. And then we have ones that has like emojis where it's in, it's like a bull. And then the poo emoji. So it's other born, it's like a bullish. Oh, I get it. Get it? No. But now I do. I'm glad I would do fast to get it But yeah, check it out. It's that you guys they can stream it stream it wherever they're at, right? Yeah

I'm not I hire radio app money through Friday on the west coast six to ten a.m And then we podcast every single day for 24 hours that you you're very concerned about that It sucks because actually you know what I'm gonna give you the audio so you can I promote that one so you can you can put it on your podcast. Yeah, producer Madison. We want it because the way show we only put up our podcasts for 24 hours at noon every day and then they're gone. Okay, so you'll send me. So I'm going to send you the one where you were on the show. It was really fun. You guys should take a listen to it. We'll add that to our feet. Can we do that? Yeah, it's fine. Oh, there you go.

So good. I love it. Help us help you. Yeah. I love fine. Oh, there you go. That's all good. I love it. Help us help you. I love it. I've got a friend here, Stacy. Stacy in the building. We've been friends in high school. But we really became great friends in San Francisco when you move there.

She's visiting me. She's just claiming for the weekend. And she's just hanging. I know. She's already enjoying the weekend we have here. I know. She's like, oh my god, it's hot. Yeah. Come on from San Francisco. It's freezing all the time.

So feel free to jump in, because I know you've got a lot of advice. She's been one of my rocks in my life. Well, what are you guys going to do all weekend? That's what I know. I don't know. We're like spontaneous. Yeah. Everyone's like, what'd you plan?

What are you doing? I'm like, we don't plan. You're just going to get on Bumble and then see what happens. I'm going to go. I don't want to do this weekend. You're going to get on Bumble and go see what happens, right? I'm gonna, I don't redo this weekend. You're gonna get on Bumble and go crazy. I like Bumble. I've been hearing lately a lot of Bumble talk.

And I totally support it because I like the way the system works because I know guys suck. I'm one of them and they're gross. And I like how the system is where the woman reaches out. Yeah, the woman reaches out. So when they're interested. And I think that, system is where the woman reaches out. Yeah, the woman reaches out. So when they're interested. And I think that's great because with guys, you never,

because we can't read signs, we talk about it, we've been talking about for years. And it's great to know that a woman is actually interested that like saves so much time. I know. And I felt that pressure. So Stacy, do you know about it? Do you know about how bumble?

It's just like Tinder where you met. And you give to both like each other, but the first message has to come from the woman. And you've 24 hours to send it. So then I'm like reading their profile, trying to be funny. Like I made like a Michigan Spartans joke, like some guy with Michigan state. And I'm like, well, I'm a Wolverine. I hope that doesn't matter. Like I care about sports. But I was like, Oh, I have to show that I, because like I was like, how do I do this? Because I really have never sent the first matches to anybody. Yeah, because it's always the guy. Right. And I'm like, wait, I have to show that I, because I was like, how do I do this? Because I really have never sent the first matches to anybody. Yeah, because it's always the guys. Right. And I'm like, wait, back up Emily,

you give advice for the last 10 years to everyone you know about dating online. I can do it. I can do this. Yeah. So then I was, I think I sent some funny little quips to guys, but I was like, hey, so we matched. Yeah. So I found few cute guys. But yeah. And last time we talked about it, there was one that didn't match message you back

and how did that feel? He still didn't win away. You get to have that feel message you back and how did that feel. He still didn't make one away. He didn't have that feel because that's usually how the man feels. I know, right? He felt like, well, maybe you know what I thought and like, he probably probably wasn't. He made excuses.

Yeah, he made excuses. He's probably an hospital debt. Yeah, yeah. Because how can he not be interested? I mean, that's fun. It's like when you get a text back, you're like, he must be dying. Yeah.

Because there's no way he didn't text me back. I know. Oh my God, Stacey and I spent a lot of time texting and exchanging text, when texting, me guess everyone's always been texting, but you know, you have a few cocktails, and sometimes you just, we'd have to take each other's phones. And then there'd be times where I did not want a text

to guy, I'm like, don't let me text him but I go to the bathroom. I'm like, I text him. What should I make, what'd you do? It's the worst, man, we don't want to text someone, but those days are gone. I'm just going to sweat people. We're going to sweat them all weekend. It's the worst man, we don't want to text someone, but those days are gone. I'm just going to sweat people. We're going to sweat them all weekend.

It'll be fun. So cool, while welcome. Thank you. Have some fun. We're going to get back to our sexual confidence. We're going to start it this weekend. Go to Malibu. I saw you in Malibu.

Yeah, I went to Malibu. It was really fun. I went to party in Malibu and it was really pretty. So I get there and I'm like, why are you on the beach? Do you go to the beach? I do. There's a place, I think it's called paradise cove from Malibu. It's pretty cool.

It has a little private beach and stuff like that. You can have some good drinks. I like that a lot. Yeah, you like the drinks in the beach. Yeah. Who does it? I think we should do that. The water's very clear in Malibu.

It's lovely here in California. Okay. So that's what we'll do. It'll be fun. And now we have a little bit sex in the news. Yes. Okay. Oh, also very exciting. We read you emails, but this show we also have some voicemails. So we're gonna tell you a little bit about that in a minute how you can leave voicemail, but all the information's on our site. So not only emails with voicemails, what? Yeah. Just go to sexelme.com, click on

Ask Emily. Click on it. Okay. Sex and the news. Here's what the perfect, here's what the perfect threesome looks like according to science. Cause I know y'all like threesome news. We've all fantasized about having threesome or a lot of people have. Be it with your girlfriend or her best friend

or your best friend or two ram chicks from the bar, your brother's ex wife, new husband, whatever it is, whatever combo you fantasize about. But there's a new study in the archives of sexual behavior that men and women have a very different idea about what constitutes an ideal threesome. So odds are your girlfriend might not be on the same page as you, no surprise that guys are really into threesome's.

I did not have to conduct this study. I did not have to conduct it. So, but the truth is. Wait, please tell me somebody got paid a lot of money to do that study. No, they probably did. Can you just guys give me money? I would do real research, okay?

You do it. The data is to show that a lot of people just really aren't into threesomes. But the people who did express interest in doing over two people at the same time were mostly men. And they were really enthusiastic about it. I know this is a study But it seems that neither men nor women were interested in an M.M. F. Three-some male male female, but we're super men are super into the female female male

Dude they spent money on it. This information that you're sharing with me is more my mind right now I can't believe it. And men and women both said they'd prefer to know the people they have a threesome with, but women said they don't care so much who the third person is. So as long as the person joining was a unicorn, you know, as is a woman who's not attached. But really it was in Canada. I'd sort of mentioned that. And can you guys are so nice.

So can we really base a study on Canadians? Study. They're nice people. They're like, I don't want to rock the boat. Love Canadians. But there's no shock here. Man want thresms. I just thought that would just go through some.

Dude, you just blew my mind. Like when Stacy and I had thresms. I don't even know how I'm going to sleep at night. What? I know. We'll do this information. We'll do this next week. We'll learn how to get people.

You know, the sex is kind of slow in the summer. Yeah, no. In the sex sales, it's like sex toys, business, slow. We learn how to get people you know sex is kind of slow in the summer. Yeah no in the sex sales It's like sex toys business slow on vacation. Oh, I'm having sex Like at home on the internet talking about it. They're out. They're doing it nice outside Yeah, but I'm not having as much sex this summer Really the driest summer I've ever had but this is what is going on with you. It's kind of purposeful I'm not really I'm kind of doing a little bit of bumble and tinder stuff, but I'm just not going on with you. It's kind of purposeful. I'm not really, I'm kind of doing a little bit of

bumble and tenders stuff, but I'm just not. I honestly, are you going out? Are you going to be around people? Are you seeing how you're going to be around this weekend? Yeah, we're going out. We get drunk. I'll drink with her. I don't get that drunk.

Well, I don't drink. I know, but I will try to. And honestly, just, it's not top of mind right now. It's with nothing. I'm like, okay, yeah, I know it's weird. of mind right now. It's with nothing. I'm like, okay, yeah. I know it's weird. Usually there's like someone, but I'm okay with that. But I'm not like going.

I think you caught up on somebody that used to date. I think this was going on. Good being. That's exactly what's going on. I'm not caught up. Yep, that's what's going on. I feel it. I know it.

But that's, whatever it is. I think you've been in a situation that you've never been in before. You know it. But that's, uh-huh. Whatever it is. I think you've been in a situation that you've never been in before. You know it's so funny. And now, you know, it's got you all messed up. I know it's not as nice. I know you for 10 years. All it is. Yeah. Yeah. It was an interesting scenario. I've never. Okay. So you know, it's funny when I was in San Francisco, there was a guy, a woman in my class and her husband was like, listen to the show. He came one night to dinner. He's like, okay, I listen to your show every day. He's like, but you're dating this guy. He's on the show and then boom, you never talk about it again. And he goes, that's not fair.

To your listeners, like, we need to know what happened. Yeah. So here I am talking about it. Are you getting talking about it right now? I forgot that I told him that I would. So we were dating kind of off it on for like a year and a half, a little bit committed. And honestly, I barely even told me about what I was going to do. I haven't told you anything. No, I know. And I really did like it. So for me, what's different is that a lot of relationships I've been in, I think I

wasn't really, I really, never been really committed. No, I've always had one foot out the door. I mean, you've known me through Ed. You'd be six months in and you're already trying to get out. Yes. Half of them. Yeah, I'm saying there might have been one other that you were.

I can't remember who. Kind of committed. Okay. Anyways, that's something that I was talking about the current situation. But the point is, is that that is my thing. I get in the great guys and I'm really into them like, but I don't know, I was kind of the grass always greener. And I think, okay, it probably has intimacy issues,

cumin issues, all that, you guys have been listening to show for a while, but I've been working a lot on myself and I'm, you know, mature woman and I'm like trying to figure out like what I want, but none of these guys I was dating was ever, that we seemed a little bit more like, who knows what, at this point in life, I don't ever really think it's about the person you're dating.

They did something wrong unless, of course, they are really abusive. It's just more that you're in different places and you want different things. So with the guys, I would always felt to me that they always wanted a lot more for me than I could give because I was working all the time. I was building this business. I was supporting myself, trying to make it work. And if they were like, you're working much, I'm like, this is over. I got to be working.

I got to be doing it. Now, people could also say, that's just an excuse. That was keeping yourself from a relationship, you know? Who knows? But that was my real story. So now, it's like, so when I was dating this guy, it was interesting because he also was very busy. It wasn't like typical needy guys dating and I wasn't needy. And it was very like casual and and things were good and then we like committed and we're together. And I think it's, it kind of reminds me of myself like how I was maybe five years ago. Like how he's not really sure. He might want kids.

I don't want kids. So that was kind of a big factor. Like I don't, I'm not having kids. I love kids. It's just my body never said to me, Emily, you well of children. It's like you will give birth to sex with Emily. Like this will be your thing. Yeah.

And so, you know, and I think that he's at the stage where he's just trying to figure himself out when he wants, but we're still like close and he still thinks, you know, wants to be friends or we could maybe try it, but it was a lot of back and forth. And the reason why it felt very different to me is because I've never been, I'm not one of these women who like date bad boys or date relationships

that are unstable like we broke up, we got back together, we broke up, but that's exactly what happened with this. It wasn't unstable, it was just back there. I'm not giving it together. And I get why that's very intoxicating for some people because it's always exciting, but for me, it's just like, I wanted something a little more like stable and, you know,

but I think he's a wonderful person. And we just, I honestly think it's that we're just in different places, but we've like a great love for each other. And there was no like mean tear break up. It's just that he wants different. But, okay, so this is, this is just what I predict kind of happened.

Oh God. Okay. But it could be totally true. So good. So good. Yeah. So is he the one that kind of broke it off? No, I ended up.

You broke it up. I broke it up. Yeah, you'd be completely on 100% You just told me that things that he wanted right it wasn't working for me Well, but it wasn't even just but then he was like, but I'm not sure if I want kids But he's never been I just first girlfriend He's never been in and you know in his late 30 Like never been in a relationship never been in love like this like it was his first everything So it was very, I mean, he had sex before.

But I ended it because there was a lot of back and forth with him. Like he was so into it and then he would get like scared and what if this and that. And he's in his head a lot. And I was like, I can't. This is not, this isn't fun. I want to travel. I can't do it myself. Yeah, well, exactly.

I said, this is like doing me five. So I have such compassion for him because I was like, it's how I was. But I'm not feeling that right now. So it was interesting to me to feel, do not feel that way. And to see someone else going through the same kind of, like there might be something else or this, I might not be ready.

And I wasn't ready five years ago. Like I wasn't. Yeah. He's younger than me. So I'm like, I get it. But I ended it because I couldn't, I didn't want the back and forth and we didn't want the same things.

So for the very first time, you saw the other side and now you're kind of freaked out about it. I'm not freaked out about it. I really liked them. I really loved them. I really do. But it's been like six, seven months. But I don't think that's what I'm now updating again. But I'm also not in the place either where I'm like, my life is really full right now. I'm dying. I think that also the best time to find someone they see this might sound very cliche, but like I'm not actively like I need to date every night, I'm like desperate, I'm not at all, like I'm just kind of

like doing my life and it's not a problem. You're out of plan where it could happen, it happens. Yeah, and it will happen, don't get me wrong, I will, I'm not ever concerned that I'm not going to meet someone and find someone when I'm truly ready to be, you know, I don't even know that I want to live with anybody, like I'm not ever concerned that I'm not going to meet someone and find someone when I'm truly ready to be, I don't even know that I want to live with anybody. I'm not your typical female in that way either. I kind of like my independence. But I was like a travel, he wasn't place where he could travel right now. I want to take trips and do things and walk in my ass off for 20 years.

But I added it, dude, but it doesn't make this hurt. It's crazy. Yeah, I see anything you'd like to say there, you've known me through every guy I've ever dated. It's the first time you really touched someone really seriously committed. You can see you're afraid of commitment and you did go back and forth.

And you finally did it and then it didn't work out. See, that's why I think you're kind of... That's not the right term, but that's why you're like, you broke your pattern. Yeah. That's why it feels so good to me, because it made me realize that I can't like, I don't, yes, it's probably has to do with him. It's him, but I also think it's a stage of my life. I realized for so long, I was the one who was, and I know it's a kind of a male tendency,

typically, you're like, oh, it's like guys, but I was like, I've got to work, I've got to support myself. I can't really be in this and give you everything that you need. And so I kept ending relationship, not thinking that I could be in it. But now like things are good, like work is fine. I'm like paying the bills. It's okay. Things are stabilized.

I'm in a good place. I'm like, I have room for a relationship right now. And he really does it because he's got a job. He's got a job. He doesn't matter. But it made me realize that I could have do this and I want to think because you really do care about him and watch you were able to let him go because he wasn't

ready yet. Yeah right and I got it. I got it. Well I say F it move on. Dude I'm on. I'm just just. There's a window here. There's a bunch of people. There's a couple guys. I'm talking to sitting on the window right out there. It's true. This was a good. There's a bunch of people, there's a couple guys, I'm talking about. I'm just sitting on my desk. Right out there. It's true, this was a good,

amazing. There's a nice gentleman with a couple chicken nuggets right there. I just thought there was my downloads across the street. Yeah. I did. Someone's like, there's my downloads right across the street. I'm like, I heard that.

I said, I'm not a detailed person per se. Wow. Okay, so any other questions that we've had on the show? No, but it's great that you share that. That's awesome. So people actually know like what's going on. You guys, but it's great that you share that. That's awesome. So people actually know like what's going on. You guys, I think it's weird. You know why?

I also like to keep privacy for him. Like I don't like to talk about, even when I go on dates, I'll like, are you gonna talk about this? And I really don't like to share like, you know, personal thing. He'll like, go out with them. Like I don't want to share.

Yeah, no, about their life or something like that, but you can at least talk about it. Yeah. So there we go. It was an adequate way. He had a really about it. Yeah. So there we go. It was really nice. He had a really nice penis. No. So I don't remember.

OK. Albert, you need this. I feel like. Right. She probably has photos in her phone right now. No, no dick pics. I think that ever said, maybe that's why I never sent a man's penis in a photo.

Does he think that's why I did? Yeah. That's why it's over. OK, so are we ready now? Any other questions? Yes. No. It's great.

We'll move on to you. Oh, get it up first before we get to email. Get 1,000 emails. I'll take you questions? Yes, no, it's great. We'll move on to you. Oh, first before we get to email. Get a thousand emails. I'll take you out. Emily, don't worry about it. We get those. Yeah, ask Emily. Go to sex with Emily dot com.

Ask Emily. Yeah, ask away. Ask away. Ask away. Send pictures, not penis ones. Okay, we'll be right back. We're going to be shout out to our sponsors. Thanks everyone for listening and supporting them.

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We're on to the emails. Thanks for emailing me feedback at sexwithm.a.com. We love hearing from you. We get so many great emails lately and include your name, where you're listening from and how you listen your email. But also you can click on the ask Emily button on the site emails right from there.

And voice mail today, we've got some of your voice mails. I'm really excited about that so producer Madison should we start with voice and you can come up now we're gonna start with voice mails okay everyone this is the number it's 818 ask SWE1 or 8182757931 all right let's do it hi Emily my name is Sam and I'm from New. I'm 23 years old and I've been with my boyfriend for six years. Our relationship is amazing and I could not be happier with him. He's like a pleaser in bed and really gets off on me getting off, but I have a problem. As soon as I have an orgasm, I'm done.

I'm closer business. I don't want anything else. I get completely transformed off and my body doesn't want to go around to or anything at the store. My work in tells me it feels like I'm almost disgusted by him afterwards, which is so not true, but I guess that it comes off because when I'm done, I'm done. I know these are the common stereotypes, guys, but I don't know any girls who have had this problem. Is there anything I can do to fix it? Thanks for the dance. love your show.

Thank you. Okay, that's a good question. That is, she's not. She's definitely not. She rubs it out, she's done, not rubs it out. Cause the rest of the way she has one, she's okay. So. It definitely sounds like the guys' perspective because that's exactly how guys feel.

Yeah, guys roll over. I mean, again, I don't speak for all guys. Don't send your emails, because I won't read them. But a lot of guys that I talk to, that's exactly how they feel. Because the moment they're done, though they have their orgasm, it's actually painful.

And then so they're done immediately. It's true. Like this is like cuddle hormone too. Like the, like you get the dopamine, the serotonin, and it spikes, right? Andin and you it spikes right yeah you um it drops right after you or got immediately like my friend is zero he's like he has this image and this is going to sound sexist coming from a man which he is a sex man but he was like I just had this image of like after I've sex with a woman he's like all the sun I just like picture

like I wish the whole floor would just come and swap around, but he's the trapdoor, she's going. Well, it seems like the colors feel the same way. So Sam, here's the thing, I totally get what you're saying. And maybe he needs a little bit of like, you know, a little love and after that little tenderness, little cuddling or something. But also, why not wait until you have your, he has his orgasm and then you have your orgasm?

Because you're thinking he wants to keep going. I'm curious to be both like come you're saying he wants to keep going. I'm curious to be both like come together and then he wants to keep going because he could have his and then you have yours. Yeah, this good plan. Yeah, it's tough him go first. Yeah, I have him go first. Also, I mean, I get what you're saying.

Like when you're done, sometimes you are done, but there might have to be like, if he's telling you right now, like you seem disgust, you probably don't even know this. You're like in a blissful state, but maybe you just have to be like, if he's telling you right now, like you seem disgusted, you probably don't even know this. You're like in a blissful state, but maybe you just have to be more mindful of, you know, right afterwards, maybe he needs you to cuddle or back rub. I don't know what, but if he wants to keep going,

we've for a lot of women after orgasms kind of painful. Like it hurts. However, you know, we talk a lot on this show. We've done a lot of shows on how to have a multiple orgasm. We've got blogs on our site. It's something if you're interested, you could practice a little to help us to practice during masturbation, because there's a refractory period for women

much shorter than men, and you might be able to train yourself to go again for around two. But that takes some work if you never have. But I think that it's a little bit of compromise. What do you think? Is this if you're happy to stay see? After you orgasm, you would. Yeah, in certain relationships, yes. But then others, it could go six times in an afternoon

or evening or day or whatever. And you know, right. So it depends on the person that I'm with quite frankly in our sexual chemistry. It's so determined how often, how quick. No. Right. I think that, I mean, Sam, also also I wonder if there's anything about him though Like anything you guys could do differently. It sounds like he knows how to get you there I'm not sure if you're having it during intercourse or what but it sounds like you just kind of like kind of make Maybe you need to prolong it more a little more for a play but You know I like I've had guys just want to shut down like you were not going at least 10 years talk to me

I like talking about the suggestion of let him go first or just, you know, just cuddle with the baby. Cuddle with them. Two men after. Yeah, you guys can have wise this one. Especially if he's feeling disgusted, rejected. You gotta like change a beer. I wish I was with somebody. We're never, we're never attracted to people that are just like us.

This is the problem in life, right? Man's dream right there. Right now, right? Okay, should we get the other? Yeah, what else? Another email? Another voice mail? Voice mail. Back to back and then we got some emails. This is fun. Like our voice mail? Yeah, do. Yeah, that's great. That's what we've done. I'm sure we've done it. You should hear voices. I don't know. Yeah, really personal.

Because I'm reading. Not reading. Hi Emily. My name is Alice. I am 22 years old and I'm from Torrington, Connecticut. I'm just calling because my boyfriend of two years and I recently took vacation to separate areas of Washington, T.A.C. and I stayed with a mutual friend of ours who I discovered had been a person he once had a relationship with. I never knew that. And that's totally fine.

It doesn't bother me. But what was interesting to me was that he apparently had a party we had both all been recently at. He had asked her if she would be interested in having a three-some with the two of us. And that is something that I've always told him that I'm just really not into with another girl, maybe I'd be open to with another guy, but I don't know the beat just for me. So I was just calling to kind of see, I don't know how to react to this and how to bring it up to him. kind of see, I don't know how to react to this and how to bring it up to him. In the past he told me he has cuckled fantasies and things like that and I tried to engulf

him before in like role play sort of thing, but that's just not really up my alley. So, and advice is greatly appreciated. I don't know, have a good day. Thank you. All right. That was good. Love in these voicemails. That's a person is out there fishing without you knowing. Wow. Yeah. That is just I mean, he's totally so they've talked about the three something and then I'm wondering if they were at a party a little buzzed. He sees this other girl out there. He's like, Hey, what about a three-some? I bet you probably

I'm assuming there was alcohol and blah. I don't think they were at a lunch. But either way, that's not an alcohol. I don't think they were at a lunch. But either way, that's not an excuse. And I don't think that's cool at all, that he proposition a friend. Yeah, but I mean, I mean, if this is something that you're really into, this is what I suggest to do. I suggest, just lay some ground rules, say, hey, look,

I'm not comfortable with this. This is the stuff that I'm not comfortable with. You talking to other people about having three sums and stuff like that. Don't have it like a huge argument or anything like that. Right, and don't harp on it and bring it up constantly. You should have one discussion about it and tell them how you feel and if it comes up again,

then that's up to you if you want to cut it off or not. It's a really good advice, Moniz. Thank you. Thank you. I appreciate that. I think he's right. I think that this is not a relationship under, not a deal breaker for this relationship. But you got to just lay down the grass, say, listen, babe,

we haven't even agreed that we're having a threesome yet. I've told you I've been thinking about it, but to proposition somebody really hurt my feelings. I think it's just disrespectful and that didn't make you feel good. So we can continue to talk about it, seeing you for on the same page with it. Because like I've always said,

we've just did a show on three sums recently. We always do a lot of shows on three sums, but you gotta be on solid ground. You really gotta agree to the ground rules and you gotta have all your boundaries set up before high, and you just don't jump into it. Okay, good advice. Except for, unless you're all on a task, right, Stacy,

then we can have a three sum. Oh, all the time. That's fine. Okay, good advice. Except for, unless you're all on a task, right, Stacy, then we can have a threesome. Oh, all the time. That's fine. Okay, dear Emily, how can I initiate sex with a very, very shy girl without scaring her off? John, 30, Iowa. This is great, right to the point.

Yeah. Aw, he, but with a shy girl without scaring her off. Shy. She's not that shy. Come on. She just plays it. No one will see me as it. Well, you think she's going to time up. Well, I think he's over there. Right, exactly.

You never know. He's got a dungeon. You never know who's got a dungeon. I just think that, you know, again, this is your inside your head with this. She's really shy. Here's the thing about shy people, that they're shy when they don't know you.

But I can assume that when you guys are together, if you start dating, you start hanging out, that you're going to know when you've established that level of comfort and when it's the right time. So all I can say is if she's not, you know, I don't know if you guys are dating or not, you're saying initiating sex, I'm assuming that you are, but if you've gone on a few dates right now, I would just start, you know, you gotta start kissing her because otherwise, you're gonna go right into the friend zone. So that's what happens when guys don't make the move soon enough. Some guys make it too soon and the girl can get turned off. But if she shy,

then you need to make the move. I just think you can, you know, just lean and slowly don't pressure it all. And, um, I mean, if she likes you, and she's going out with you, I'm assuming she's waiting for the move. What do you think? Yeah, the trust level, right? The confident trust level. You just have to comfort. Yeah, women need comfort. They need trust. They want to trust you.

That's why a lot of women, like, they just, they want to wait. They want to feel like you're someone they can trust. So sure that you're a good guy and stick to your word. If you make plans with their show up and like keep being that guy that she likes and then she'll, you know, it'll come around. And if it doesn't, that's okay.

But how would you scare off of you like a tactor, lock the door, whatever, but it doesn't sound like that could your emailing me, you're like a sensitive dude. Okay, next email, Emily, I've been single for a year and a half. I've been single for a year after five year relationship. I just started dating again since January and it's not going well. I've met guys at bars and I know it's not going anywhere. I've been on dating apps and the guys I meet end up getting get end up and getting to know

Only stick around for a month. I don't know what I'm doing wrong I'm really chill. Don't make a fuss about stuff the last guy got to know I saw once a week because he lived 30 minutes away I'm either at work home or at the gym. I'm training for Spartan race, thought maybe I'd meet someone at the gym, but no one ever approaches me, so I just work out and go home. I'm cute, I think I'm cute. I'm 5'2", 125 pounds.

I have a bubbly, fun personality, so I don't know why I'm having trouble getting someone to stick around. Thanks for the help, Michelle, age 26, Southern California. Yeah, I think she doesn't believe that she's available. Like she has a few guys that don't call her and she's letting this all take a tumble. This is good for a self-esteem back to self-confidence September.

Because I feel like Michelle, you're not believing in yourself right now. I think the only like turn off within that short of time is maybe you seem a little too eager. That's the only thing that I could see that could be an issue that big skies run away. When you're really eager, like yeah, calling right after. Yeah, super eager, just like reaching out all the time

on email, text, Facebook. I think other than that, yeah, that could be the only thing that could be a turn off. Like just check yourself and see how much communication that you're putting out there with that person. Right, I'm thinking the confidence, like you just mentioned, because you put off that energy, if you're trying so hard, like I need to find a date,

why can't I find a date? You're just trying, you're putting that weird energy off, we're not weird, but it's just different. And that's not very attractive. We talk about this all the time. Like, it's AC and I but it's just different. And that's not very attractive. So that's all the time. Like, Sacy and I've gone through the years of... The confidence energy makes people more... It's true.

When you believe in yourself and you're feeling good and confident, it's amazing that that men will block you, everyone will block you. But when you're going out feeling like another guy, it's gonna reject me and I'm not gonna meet someone and you don't even know this, but like you've got that desperation perhaps coming out, it's not gonna be attractive.

Yeah, I know I've been in situations before where this person knows that I'm at work but they're trying to like text me and ask me like funny questions. They're super cool, but I'm just like, I like, I'm busy. Yeah, I'm a little bit busy. I'd love to talk to you on my free time,

but I don't know. I'm not in play games. That might even be the situation when it's happening right now. It's so hard to tell because I was there. Like I wish Michelle could go on a date with you and tell you, but I don't know. That could be the situation. That might not even be the situation what's happening. It's so hard to tell because I was there. Like I wish Michelle could go on a date with you and tell you, but I'm sure to be honest, you're not doing anything wrong. And to me, it's probably like what two guys didn't call you

after it sounds like in another guy that's 30 minutes away. Like I think that we create stories like every guy's wasn't 20 guys. It might have been two. And again, if you're, I don't know, if you're dating on the Tinder world, it's like a lot of people are just like not looking to have something long term. It's a numbers game, you know?

Yep, it's true. Get on Bumble, I'm loving it. I mean, I'm not on Bumble, but I just love the situation that they're putting out. Yeah, it's good. And you got 24 hours too. So you can't, like a Tinder, I've got matches for like a year and you don't have it. But it's like there, it's like if you don't message, it's good. And you got 24 hours too. So you can't, like a Tinder, I've got matches for like a year and you don't have it.

But it's like there, it's like if you don't message, it's good. That's cool. Okay, got one more email. Hey Emily, my name is Paul. I'm 24 from Colorado. I lost my Virginia and my girlfriend about three months ago. And I'm obviously extremely inexperienced and new to sex.

My girlfriend was not a virgin before she met me. And when we have sex, I can tell that she does not really enjoy it. I always try to communicate as much as possible, ask her what she wants me to do, or if I can change anything up. I'm open to trying new things but she never lets me know what she wants me to do. Whenever I ask about doing things or ask if she's enjoying what we're doing, she responds in basically the same way.

I like that it makes you feel good, don't worry about how it feels to me. I love everything about her but it kills me to know that she isn't enjoying having sex with me, and that spirals into major self-consciousness. I've gone down a few times, but the last couple times I offered to go down, she denies me. I want to do anything that I can to make her feel good, and she makes me feel in the bedroom, but just really have no idea what I'm doing. I need help.

What can you begin her like myself due to the in bed? How do I open up and communicate even more often? A guy needs some help. From a guy that needs help. Shout out to Madison Anderson, everybody else involved in this podcast. It rocks. Sweet. Thank you, guy. You need some help. We're here to help you. Guy, I'm sorry to jump right in. But I think it goes back to the last email. It's like maybe being a little too eager. I know we say communication is lubrication and all that, but might being a little too eager after,

because like the match you're having to sex with a guy every single time after he goes, was that okay, did you like that? Did you enjoy that? That might be a little off putting a little bit. I don't, I'm not saying don't have any communication, but try to have communication every single time you have sex.

I know that if it was a woman doing that, I'd be kind of like, oh no, it's okay. You know, because you told me like, yeah, it's fine. Yeah, yeah, I mean like to have that, maybe have that conversation every like the fifth time, you know, I don't know. You got to break it up. I think, like, trying to talk about it every single time is definitely off-putting and scary.

I think that that could be something, that could be part of it. But I also, I read this, I thought, how do you know she's down into it? Because she didn't want you to go down in her. She's not telling what she likes. These are assumptions. He's assuming that she doesn't like it. He's like, I want you to go down in her. She's not telling you what she likes. These are assumptions. He's assuming that she doesn't like it. He's like, I want her to like it. I want her to like it.

It's because she actually said to you, it's good. You also went into this thinking that he was behind her in the skills department because he was a virgin. So you've already gone into it feeling like you were less or than and you're gonna fail her. She's having sex with men like, you know. She's not leaving.

Right. But I think he's also asking the question wrong. And he's asking it wrong for her to say what does she want, how to mix it up. A lot of girls are going to come up blank, even if they have tons of experience. So the line of questioning isn't worked. So I would try like an either or question, like give her a choice.

So do you like it when I go down on you before? They do like it when I use my tongue like this. Or do you like it better when I use my fingers? Not even during intercourse, but it could be afterwards. Last night was really hot. I feel like when you were on top, that was really sexy the way you're moving, but then when it was doggy style, it seemed like you came. Which one felt about? You know, it's like, your line of questioning is that's just clearly not working. So it doesn't, not everyone's gonna be like, I have to be able to say, well, here's what I really want, you know? Yeah, and I think your point about the timing

is everything too, because you're sitting there like almost play by play, and it becomes not romantic or passionate, it's like, what do you need, what do you want? Mm-hmm, yeah. Like, exactly. What do you want, what do you want, what do you want? Like, a lot of people are not, guys aren't gonna answer, girls aren't answering.

So you've got to get really specific. And you might not know what you want. Exactly. So maybe you could say like, God, you know, I'm really new at sex too. As you know, whatever, let's do some fun things. And then you could like go sex, toy shopping by my book. I have a book called Hot Sex over 200 Things You Can Try Tonight, which is an awesome book for couples.

I have a lot of friends who use it, a lot of listeners. You get an Amazon on my website, like 30 bucks. It's like such a good investment because you can open it to any page and you can just be sitting there and you can do anything on the page. It's like positions and funny fun things to try, little foreplay moves, like, but you guys sounds like you might need some more watch support together, like some things to get some more information on because you're not getting enough, but don't put yourself up yet because there's nothing, oh mutual masturbation. I love mutual masturbation. It's awesome.

I mean, for couples because you can really learn about how she touches herself and what pleases her, she'll learn what pleases you. It's a hot thing to do. It's like a little sexy movie. So those are my recommendations for you. But again, don't make these assumptions that you're bad and bad. She's unhappy because she did not say that. Okay.

Thank you so much for your email. I appreciate it. We're here to help. Aren't we? We are. Anything else? Thank you, Stacey, for being here and helping me bring down analyzing my, I don't even need therapy ever again. Never. I feel so much better. This was fun. Thank you. Thank you. You all are happy back to self-confidence September. So stay tuned to all of our social media and our podcasts and stuff. And we just love hearing from you. Thank you. It's amazing, love you menace,

fell menace, at menace and the Woody show and all that stuff. Thank you Madison, Laurie, Jamie, Eddie, Stacy of course and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? email me, feedback at sexwithmla.com. Listeners and friends, they're always asking me how to spice up their relationships. They all want to know how to bring the spark back. One great way is to add in some variety. Well our good friends at Adam and Eve.com know all about that.

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