Sex With Emily - We All Have Daddy Issues with Nicky Paris & Dean McDermott

Episode Date: October 11, 2019

On today’s show, Dr. Emily is joined by Dean McDermott & Nicky Paris from the new Daddy Issues podcast & they get into all types of sex talk from head pushing, to honeymoon phases, to boredom during sex — pretty much anything we’re willing to do to find our “match.” Plus, Emily answers your questions. She converses with callers about the dark side that social media brings to a relationship, how to return the favor to someone that has awakened you sexually, & all the beginner anal toys for you & your partner to play with together. Follow Emily on all social: @sexwithemilyFor even more sex talk, tips, & tricks visit sexwithemily.comFor more info on Daddy Issues Podcast, click HERE.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

time for your partner and sexuality and attractiveness to your partner is not going to find you. But I encourage people to make time for it, for intimacy, for attraction, for date nights. Like you have to put some time in it. You have date nights are huge, they're so easy too, just to say like a non-negotiable interrelationship Wednesday nights are date night or Saturday night and you get a babysitter and then you plan to have time. I mean sometimes you can be an afternoon, like you meet for lunch and you go for like, we used to go for like these sushi lunches and it was fantastic. Like you just get some sake and get some sake and have some sushi and just reconnect

with each other. Yeah, keep doing things you love to do when you're dating too. Yeah, and then when you get back together and it's bedtime, you're like, hey, remember lunch? Let's pick it back up and then boom. No, that's how you, I always say four play starts after pick it back up. And then boom, they'll go. No, that's how you, I always say four play starts after the last orgasm.

That's what I'm talking about. Like keep that attraction going throughout the relationship. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and on today's show, I'm joined by Demick Dermott and Nikki Paris from the new Daddy Issues podcast. And we get into all types of sex talk, whether you're in a relationship or you're single. Plus I'm answering your questions. Topics include, from head pushing to honeymoon phases to boredom during sex, all the things

we do to find our temporary or our permanent lovers. We all love our smartphones and social media, but there's a dark side to it. What to do when it comes between you and your relationship? So you've got this new partner, and they've awakened you sexually. It feels amazing, but how do you return the favor? And all the beginner anal toys for you and your partner to play with together. I've got some ideas. All this and more, thanks for listening. Look into his eyes. They're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex.

Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Bit rumised they call them in a bag on day. Hey, Evelyn, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my! The women know about shrinkage.

Isn't it common, Evelyn? What do you mean, like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between. For more information, check out sexwithemily.com. You're going to love our website and all the information on there to help you have better sex and relationships. You guys can also find me on SiriusXM weekdays Monday through Friday. It's from 5 to 7 Pacific, 8 to 10 East, and it's on stars.

It's channel 109, and you can get a free 30 day trial at sexwithemily.com slash S X M. And you can also call in. You got a question. I'll be there. Even if you don't have serious, AAA 947 8277 all social media at sex with Emily cross the board. And if you haven't heard the news, you have to check out my sex with Emily Westpert necklace. It's actually a vibrator, it's elegant, it's really cool, it's really empowering, and it works. It's like a real vibrator. It's USB rechargeable, and it comes engraved with three limited edition phrases. I wrote for you. You can choose I come first, turn me on, or meditate, masturbate, manifest. It's a great gift for yourself, for others, come to three different colors as well, and

the first one's just $69. Silver. And then there's a rose gold and a gold. And you're gonna love it. I wear it every day. I wear it with necklaces. I wear it in stacks. It's super sexy. Go to sexwithemily.com slash vesper v-e-s-p-e-r. Alright guys, I hope you enjoyed this show. I loved interviewing these guys. We had a blast. I have to welcome my guests. the show I loved interviewing these guys we had a blast. I have to welcome my guests. Comedians, they're funny, they've already been funny and we haven't started yet. Dima, well, yeah, Dima German and Nikki Perris, they have a new podcast, Daddy Issues, Daddy Issues podcast and you can find it. And you guys just started it a few months ago.

Okay. I think we're about 2018, 2018. Yeah, we're brand new. Okay, Dean, Canadian actor, comedian, married to Tori Spelling, Nikki Perris, comedian, named a comic to watch by Huffington Post and then add a 100 Kempi here. To Tori Spelling. Yeah, we're in a three way. That's, that's the podcast.

Yeah, here's your exclusive. That's the freaking podcast. It's a Menage to Talk. It is. It is, but I did listen to, I did listen to the podcast when Tori was on. That was your first one. Second. Second one.

Okay. So I found that interesting. Let me tell you what I thought, because I didn't know that much about you guys. I'm not a big pop, I don't know people, I run into them straight. I didn't have to listen to it before. But when I found interesting,

you guys have a good dynamic. And Dean, you know what was so sweet when you were like, I had a feeling there, because I read into relationships, but you were like my beautiful, talented, smart, brilliant wife, Tori, what was so sweet when you were like, I had a feeling there because I read into relationships, but you were like my beautiful, talented, smart, brilliant wife, Tori, which was so nice. And she was like, oh, you know, like if you guys had a very cute, sweet dynamic, that you were like complimenting her and making her feel good.

And then you said a few times, you're like, but I'm just a kind of a pain, you know, but I'm a pain or I'm difficult or something in our relationship. And I was like, yeah, I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a pain in the ass in relationships. Okay. I think more so than women. Women can be a pain in the ass our relationship. And I was like, yeah, I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy.

I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. I'm a guy. You're like no, I'm a dude. I'm not gonna admit that I'm wrong or no, but then I heard that I felt like maybe you're really hard on yourself And then there's that Nikki can attest to how hard you are Yeah, and so I just I felt like I knew I was like, oh like you're such a good guy And then you're like really hard yourself and think you're never doing enough in the relationship He's sensitive good. He's a sensitive guy. You could picking up. Yeah, I did

I was like I feel like I understood your whole relationship Wow, not to mention that she do get Tory spelling dresses up as Donna Martin and role playing during sex, which is hot Wait, let me give you I didn't give you by your Instagram. We're just fair daddy issue show on Instagram. Yeah, okay, and I am D McDermott and Nikki Paris bitch That's right. Okay. Oh, my my birth certificate. So my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my my Right, and it's not even your jam, like that's not even a, but you felt that sexual tension is hot for everybody. Yeah, we are very sexual. We have very sexual relationship. We are very connected. How many times have that?

We have five kids. You have five kids. Okay, so let me tell you this. I've been doing this show a long time. I have been doing this show a long time. And when they call me and they're like, I've got this, I've got that problem. We never have sex, my husband, I don't connect.

And then they're like, we have five kids. I'm like, oh my God, well, that's almost like a religion. Like if you five kids, how do you have time for it? And then you're also having amazing sex too. How do you do that? What's the secret? It was always there. It was always there, you know, like we,

when we met, it was on. Like we just, The second you met, you had that sparks flying. When we met, we met in Ottawa, we're doing film together. I flew to Ottawa and I met her in the director's office and we were together from that day on. Wow.

Like it was just intense and it's just that intensity has always been there through thick and thin. Kids and no kids and I just think, I think it's the exception, not the rule. Yeah, it is the exception. And for people who don't have that, who have kids, you gotta work on it. So explain to me what that looks like to that work though.

Work on it. That working on it means, you know, time for your partner and sexuality and attractiveness to your partner is not gonna find you. It doesn't just show up again. It doesn't just show up again. And all of a sudden you're like, oh wow, I have all this sexual tension for you. You know, you've gotta make time for it,

you gotta work on it. We're lucky that it's just there all the time. But all the time, like, Tori, if she was here, she'd be like, yeah, every day, whatever, even when I have three kids, I'm holding it, hanging off on me, I want it. Yeah. Yeah, but it's just like, I want it.

It's like, no, I want him. Right. But even in which he's tired, and there are times where she's tired, or she's not, no. Both of us are like that too. Like, I'm tired, she's tired, and it's just there.

Like, we're blessed, we have it all the time. It's there. But I encourage people to make time for it, for intimacy, for attraction, for date nights, like you have to put some time in. You have date nights are huge, they're so easy too, just to stay like a non-negotiable in a relationship, Wednesday nights are date night, or Saturday night and you get a babysitter

and then you plan to have time. And I mean, sometimes it could be an afternoon, like you mean to meet for lunch. And you know, you go for like, we used to go for like these sushi lunches and it was fantastic. Like you just, get some sake and get some sake and you don't have some sushi and just reconnect with each other

Yeah, I keep doing things you love to do when you're dating too. Yeah, and then when you get back together and it's bedtime You're like hey, remember the lunch. Let's let's pick it back up And then you know boom that's how you always say four-play starts after the last orgasm That's what I'm talking about like keep that attraction going throughout the relationship I'm talking to Demick Dermott and I'm talking to Nicky Paris about their podcast, Daddy's Ships. Okay, so we, Nicky. So here you are in a podcast with Dean, who's having killer sex, he's married, he's got

five kids, and you have not been in a relationship. Well, I'm masturbating to their sexual chemistry. I am too. We send in the videos. We all are. We all are now going to masturbate to their sex life. But what's so sweet of you having had a relationship? I feel like you might be able to help you.

Yeah, please, please help me. It's one here. I'm very picky. He's too picky. Very Catholic. Oh, okay. And he's a germaphobe. And I'm a germaphobe.

So I have the Catholic guilt. Wow, you've that dirty Catholic now. So whenever I do something, Kinky, I have to like pray on the rosary beats. Oh, okay. And then like repent on it. Right. Do you still practice cathology? You still go to church? Yes.

So where? Yes. I'm sitting on them. No. Sorry. That's a way to work your catholicism. Right. Exactly.

I don't know what the Pope says about that, but you know, what else? So tell me what. Pope Patrick and Stadneylin told me. Exactly. So tell me. Okay. So you think that it's your Catholicism

that's keeping you from the life. I'm kind of like a germapho, but like I really do want to get out there and be with somebody. I've been single for like 26 years. I mean, that's a long time. What was your relationship when I was 17? And it was only like a month.

But I have like an emotional wall up and I work like 25 jobs, but you know, I used to only be into people who looked like me, but I mature and moved past that. And I'm kind of dating somebody now, but he's a head pusher. Oh, like wait a minute. Okay, wait. These girls know, I heard the gas. She's been there. Right? One of the ones that one of the girls is trying to, I know you're talking. No, he's like, you're sitting there with him and all of a sudden he's like, he's like, hey, and he's got an erection.

He's like, oh, pushes your head down. And let me tell you, I have to. Dude, that's offensive. You're like, I saw you had a penis. I knew what to do with it. If I wanted this luck, I would have. Right, and can I be a little vulgar? Don't ever push somebody's head

because I've thrown up on somebody's dick. Yeah, that's what you get. All right, I've thrown up a whole piece of panay. A whole piece of it. You have to chew your food better, Nicky. That's why you have some issues. And I was upset because that night I ordered tortellini. So I was very confused. So what? Don't, if you're listening, don't push heads. Don't.

Don't push heads. Yeah, Sam Kinnison was a believer in that. Oh, don't do that. Yeah, well, look what happened. So listen, I, so nothing. You're, you're trying to unblock or you in therapy? Can you, can you change your pushing? So nothing you're you trying to unblock are you in therapy? Can you I think that here's a thing I give I I don't blame the head pusher I blame Society so I could say that if a head pusher would be open to taking feedback

I think if someone has pushed your head or co-ursune to anything that you don't want to do It's actually not like co-op but not in like an aggrat but they're like hey doing things in the relationship You know what um that doesn't't want to do. It's actually not like cold, but not in like an aggro, but they're like, hey, doing things in the relationship you're going, you know what? That doesn't feel great to me. I definitely like going down in you, but I'm going to choose when I want to do it. I find that aggressive. Just give them feedback.

Can I be honest with you? I'm really into looks, which is a problem. But that's really the most important thing to me. I think it's just some 26 and a shallow. I need to mature a little bit. But right now, the people that find me attractive are like missing three teeth. Really?

Are you sure? Yes. Where are you from? I find that hard to believe. I believe that you have received this before. I think you're just trying to be funny right now. I think no. I think I have a strong personality and it scares people.

No, no, no, listen. Since you've been in here, like seven minutes, you have told me five, six, seven reasons why you're not dating right now. You're a germaphobe, you're catholicism, they're head pushers, they have to look like you've all these really stringent things lined up, they have to meet all these things. And that's why you're never going to find someone, and that's because you have a wall.

And if you have all these rules about it, you'll never have to find love. Okay, what can you do? Well, you started to... Have a three-submatorium, Dean. Yes, take a number, dude. Listen. Listen, I know we can all joke about being blocked and shut down. I've been shipping away at my heart my entire life to open it up. The core zone.

So the third part, what do you say? The core zone. Yeah, exactly. For your Spanish listeners. Yeah. Intense, deep therapy. Once a week, every week, for the rest of your life. With you.

No, I don't do therapy. Oh, you don't do therapy. I'd rather help like a million people with one job than one or one. I would just go, just like I would love to help you, but you're having a big enough reach. So, how many times will you be able to help me? Well, you're looking probably relate to this too, because I've done, the reason why I also can read, like I've done that, we all have reasons. Oh he's not this Kristen does that where's Kristen my assistant she's a million reasons why guys and I'm like we all do it so I'm just saying if you really want to

find love I look at finger nails I look to see make sure the fingernails are clipped you know little things like that I'm like yeah yeah so how's that going for you not well right exactly so you guys sorting this out on your podcast a little bit? Trying to. Yeah, we all take a might all and just cry. I'm sorry. Thank you. But yeah, so you really, but you have time to find some, you look at you craving sex right now,

have you ever had sex? Yeah, of course. Does the bear shed in the woods? I don't know, dude, you are not a normal human here. I mean, typical. Do you like that? Typical. Like in the sense of, you said, I thought you had,

you had a relationship. Yeah. You have sex frequently of, I thought you had, you had a relationship. Yeah. You have sex frequently. Yeah. Maybe you're not ready for a relationship. I think you're having sex frequently. Not, it's been about, I have sex about one to twice a year. Oh, I wouldn't say it's frequently.

Nicking, maybe. Do you think the podcast will help you out? No. No, we've been putting it out there. Not so far. No calls whatsoever. Not so far. No calls whatsoever. You could donate to my love life at GoFundMe.

Daddy, please somebody calling on this show for Nikki, please. Okay, so why daddy issues for your podcast name? Well, I'm a daddy of six. Yes, you are. Adam is a new daddy and Nikki still needs his daddy. Oh, he's trying to fight. So we don't, we have a different perspective. I'm the sage, you know, and Adam and Adams, the new daddy who needs help,

and Nikki is just trying to change the tire. He's a fabulous gay man. I had your fighters. I just found that I do like my tax. I just found that with a mortgage worth like six months ago. He's a toy teacher. So they're like my older brothers. That's good.

And we all have, good, better and different. We all have daddies. So you don't have to have kids to be on daddy issues. Yeah. And I heard it like, I've scored us each and our own way. Well, yeah, that's why we're here. That's why we have parents.

Our parents are here. We're here to work through our issues with our parents. And I knew who he says that I have a perfect childhood is not aware. Anybody of everyone who said they had a perfect childhood ended up being psycho. Yeah, exactly. If you're born, if you are born and walking this earth, you've

had challenges in your childhood. There's just no way. Apparently, you don't want to be, you don't want to be good parent. And with all the books out there and the evolution of the dad being hands on now and all the literature and stuff out there, you're still going to mess up and you're still going to mess up your kids. And you just do the best you can. And bottom line, you just love them and do the best you can. Yeah, that's true. I guess you love them and you have lots of sex so you're happy. Not with the kids. No, with mom. Right. With the mom. No, no, no, I'm saying parents who have more sex have less problems in their relationship. Is this a fact? This fact. Oh, yeah. Listen, there are, if your

sex life is healthy, that's why I always have a job, because most people are, or they lose it. They don't talk about it. They don't prioritize their sex life or intimacy. They stop, they have kids. They stop having sex. They have five kids like, forget it.

They're on Nikki's schedule twice a year. I'm blown away by like all the moms at school. And you know, you get in with them and you hear them talking. And the last thing they want to do is have sex with their husband. And I'm like, that's why that's so weird to me. Literally, literally, there's a lot of going out on Friday night and then he wanted to have sex. Yeah. Right. Exactly. So this is the problem. Right. Yeah. Exactly.

I had a they're taking the mightle, but they're like pre popping the mightle and then they're taking something else. What's your take on affection being affectionate with your wife or husband in front of the kids? I think it's important. I think there are couples affection. I mean, I don't think you should be, you know, groping each other from the kids. But making out nice kids. Yes, I think that that is such an important thing for kids to see affection.

I think a lot of us are craving affection and people who are in conflict with it often didn't see their parents. They're like, well, I never saw my parents touch or my parents never touched me. So therefore I'm now an adult and I'm an intimate relationship and I forgot when someone touched me. So I think it's really healthy to model that behavior of my near kids.

Okay, good. I'm grossing my kids out. Well, what are you doing exactly? I love you. I give you a nice kiss. Like, I'll grab her face and give her a kiss. Oh, that's so cute. That's.

And they're like, oh, yeah, that's gross. I'm like, this is what people do. We love each other. Yeah, I think it's really, you know, I think that kids are always going to say that. Oh, we don't want to hear about it. But I think it's sweet. I have no problem with that.

And then I pull out our anal beads. Yeah, exactly. These are anal beads. These. Talk to me about your anal beads. Do you have anal beads? Do you like toys? We do. We brought you some toys. It's why I didn't know what you had already. Oh really? Oh wait, just wait. You're gonna leave it there really good. We can even maybe are you gonna try it out on him here at the series? I am. They tell you that it's sex with Emily. No, they told me that but I didn't know we're getting getting toys. What a day for toys

We had Lisa Ann on our show today. Oh, I'm at least the end. She give you her butt. She gave me her butt fleshlight So I have a butt. She's a butt. She's a butt. give you her butt flight. She gave me her butt flashlight. So I have her. She's a butt flashlight now. I have a butt hole. Did you know that? Yeah, it was. It was very lovely. Uh-huh, yeah, that's so.

And I'm a big fan of the flashlight, by the way. Oh, tell me really, it's a male masturbation sleeve. Yeah. It's like, kind of looks and feels like the real deal. Like, you said. Like, looks and feels like the real deal. Like, yeah. Yeah, invented by NASA.

It's like this pattern material. It really feels like, like, this closest you can possibly get. Wow. Do you use it with Tori? Yes. A couple times. I don't use it a lot because our sex life is killer. But no, it doesn't mean it's in the added. No, no, no. I'm just saying to clarify. It's really it's it's hot when she uses it on me. Yeah. But I'm just a big fan of it. And we touched based on it today. It's like, look, if a fleshlight or a real doll

are gonna help you fulfill your sexual fantasies and stuff, you're not gonna go out and do weird shit. Yeah. I think if you're more satisfied in your relationship sexually and toys can do that because people get bored with the same partner and the same thing over and over again. But even if you can't get a date,

if you're that happened to be that person, like I just think if you have this outlet, I think suppressing your sexuality breeds weirdness. Yeah. Your sexual desires. Your sexual desires. So I just, I just think if you have an outlet, like a flesh lighter, a real thought, like I think that helps curb it. And you're not going to do weird stuff with it.

Right. And I love that you play with it with, with, with Tori, because like, let's say, which is what I love about things like masturbation sleeves for men is like, let's say, which is what I love about things like masturbation sleeves for men is like, sometimes you don't wanna give a blowjob or a hand up. You can even sit there on your phone with one hand and she could be like jacking you off with the flashlight. But everyone's getting happy,

everyone's getting an ice mat. Yeah, that's a win-win. It's a win-win. Okay, so we brought you some toys. The birch is. Oh my God, one right in front of me. Yeah, you do. You're like a ninja, you just snuck in and gave me that ear.

I just snuck behind you guys and I was like, here is a cockroach. It's a coquering. It's a really cool coquering that also goes around your balls. Can we open it? Yeah, please do. And I think it's a great, it's we vibe. You can control it. So what you can do is, Terry could put it out.

There's an app called We Connect. And she could control it. You could have this too with someone. And you could control it with an app. She could be in China or next in the next room and she can control it on your penis. If she so chose to do that, it's hot. You guys. What the taser is going on? Exactly.

You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. You're welcome. I could make it as tight or. Oh no, but you can control the speed, the penetration, the motion. No, better be on your best behavior, right? Your balls are going to change. You guys can control each other's things. So just a really fun toy. And the other thing I love about it is that it doesn't, it goes around your,

it goes around your, yeah, so it's like, no, okay, because it's a thing, right? This is what you're saying. Yeah, that goes around your, your taint area. Taint, I will say. Is that the dick part? The ball? No, it's the taint, taint your at, it taint your balls, taint your at all. Oh, ew. Is that the dick part? The bull? No, it's a tank. Taint your at a tank. Your balls.

Tangerine balls in your ass. Oh, ew. The perineal. Sorry. No, but definitely do not put it on when you are fully erect. You're such a perineal. You must be like a half chub. Okay. Yeah. And then have you used carcasses before? No. This will be my first thank you. Thank you. You're so welcome, sweetie. I'm so glad to get is that your first toy? Yes. Yeah. Yay. We should have a bell. I don't glad to get is that your first toy. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. We should know I don't know why but that's

I'm a love it. We're also gave you are some of our favorite lobes, but here's the thing about Cochrane. This will help with your masturbation. It's really powerful and let me tell you this it feels great for women too Like I lose it on my clitoris nipples. Well, you'll get some clitoral stimulation. Yes, you will. Yeah, dude Tell me how you like it. I like it. And then we get, I'm like after you said, but you can already tell. Right now, I just like it. Teams, like, let me go to the bathroom really quick. Yeah.

Teams, like, go right back. Yeah, I'm saying, right, come back. But yeah, those are fond, we get, and then, oh, that's that Wumor play is the coconut oil. It's coconut oil massage, lu, massage oil, lu, but it smells and tastes amazing. And then we gave you some uberlube. Yes. Because we love lu, my dream, my vision, and for ya. Oh, cuz I hear you like CBD. Loop. Yes. So I gave you some for ya Awaken and we love for ya. Have you used that one? Yes

This is the one I've been looking for I forgot the name of it. Yeah, I know I know I feel like my co-cring I know, right? It's a Christmas. I feel like Santa Claus. I know. I feel like that right now. I can't turn up my carcoring. I can't. I can't.

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Fun fact. Any sex toy if you press on the button for three seconds, it'll turn off. Yes. This is it. I know, baby. It's the best.

He's going to cry. Sure. I know. I've never, you guys know, I give people toys a lot and they, you look seem really happy. Oh my God. Here's a thing. You know why CBD is, yeah, look at you, do you have any questions? So yeah, fun, right? Mastervation, use some lube.

We go, lube. When you're giving someone a massage next time, you have like a date and on date, whatever it is, the coconut oil is just feels amazing. You put in your partner, you taste it. The will more play smells really good. This is the coconut oil. Oh, coca-coconut oil.

I almost said coconut. I always think people are saying something cocker. Someone said premium. I thought they said perineum the other day. I just said, what did you say? I hear everything is being sexual, but that's my job. I'm gonna call you Emily Claus from here on out. Please do.

I love it. This stuff is awesome. Like you really, you have to. It's called for you. And you guys all the stuff we're talking about, if you go to sexwithelmy.com, you click on the show notes You can see it But it's really cool because CBD. I'm telling you with with CBD being legal now and using it for sex

It's pretty cool because anxiety biggest killer of our sex drive and if you can rub it in and kind of for it can relax Your you know your vulva your pain. You could you men can use it as well I mean it just kind of chills you out But for women who have anxiety or pain during sex, the forria can be amazing. But that's what I was gonna say. I, we've incorporated, been incorporating more and more loot because we do it so often that there is a pain

associated with it, but the loot helps take it away. Yeah, absolutely. And I've used Uber Loop. It's awesome. Right. Good. It's a little chavisized. This is awesome.

I know, right? This is awesome. You're like, why are we going on the show? Oh, it's fun. chavocytes. This is fun. This is awesome. I know, right? This is awesome. You're like, why are we going on the show? Oh, it's fun. Now, you're excited to come on the show, right? We're very excited. So how do you think it differs all the way?

I'm talking about, like, do you think that many women it's different how we all talk about sex? Like on your show, you guys talk about sex at all? We do, yeah. A lot. Yeah, it's made the news weekly. Yeah, your sex life, right? So she, yeah, that's what I want to say.

Okay, forget my question. She calls you daddy in the bedroom, right? Tori does. She calls me daddy all the time. So all the kids like daddy, daddy, and she's like daddy. So everyone calls you daddy in your household. Everyone calls me daddy, yeah. That's kind of convenient.

It is convenient, but I do, I love it. I don't know, I just kind of, it is hot. It is hot when she calls me daddy. And then there's like, then there's daddy. When you went different, yeah, it's a different tone. It's like brandy of a crushed glass. Pretty. Sorry, you guys, are you guys until like Dom sub stuff, like,

play a daddy little girl? Not, no, no. Just the daddy. Yeah, just the daddy. Just I don't know. It's just She's so cute. She's such a little girl too, and that's gonna sound creepy. No, I understand but she's just there's an innocence and Navatea about her that When she says daddy's like, oh, it's so cute. That's my heart Nikki Paris and Demick Dermott they got a new podcast and we got some new toys and they got some new toys I'm gonna be vibrating all the way home. I'm wearing mine right now. I put her on during the break. Yeah, see how cool is that. Download the app.

I will. It's called We Can Act. It's very cool. Like, there's all this stuff happening. That's very cool. It's all this stuff happening. You know what? It was really cool because they came out with like a bead

that a woman could put up inside her and then you could control it. Yeah. But it was cool that this for exactly, right? Exactly. You could go like that. You could go like that. Yeah.

You could go like that. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. happening. You know, it was really cool because they came out with like a bead that a woman could put up inside her and then you could control it. But it was cool that this for exactly right equal opportunity sex toys. Exactly. And what we're saying is that couples so often get so bored in their relation in their sex lives like probably about after the honeymoon phase is over, which is six months to two years. Sometimes, you know, I would say sometimes after even just six months is probably more typical. And you're like, what are we going to do? People don't know what to do. It's different. And sometimes it's just what the couples report is they crave the

spontaneity. They crave to something new and something different. And so sometimes it could just be a few drops of lube using a toy, talking dirty, having sex in the kitchen instead of the, like instead of the bedroom where you're always having it. So just like mixing it up a bit. So I like what you said spontaneity. I just think scheduling it is a killer. Oh really? Well, you don't need to listen to it. No, but we need to schedule the time

that you're not having sex. Like his calendar says we're not having sex between three and six. Yeah. Three to four anal five to six. Yeah, exactly. Right. That's not your problem.

But for couples, I'm like, that would be your problem. But for couples, unlike you. But that would be a real killer, right? No. Okay, so I used to think that as well, Dean. I used to think that scheduling sex was the least sexy. Like who wants to be like pick up dry cleaning? Fuck my husband, no. But for many couples, unlike you,

they, unlike you and Tori, they don't, they forget to have sex. They keep one partner wants it more than the other one. And then they like never have it because one partner comes home and they're like, hey, baby, let's do it and say, not tonight or not tonight. And then it never happens. And they keep feeling rejected. And these couples get into a cycle where ones rejected

and you know, because they're part of never wants it. So the couples who are like, Saturday night, that's our night, they then they get to look forward to Saturday night, they're like, we're gonna bring the toy, we're gonna bring the toy, we're gonna use the loop, we're gonna make a sex date. And then it becomes because the brain is our largest sex organ.

So if you're not thinking about sex, it's never top of mind, you're never gonna wanna have it. So when you have it to look forward to, you're like, okay, I'm gonna like shave my legs, wear something sexy, we're gonna put out the toys and maybe even start texting when I said, four-place star-attached or the last orgasm. What I mean is like, I can't wait till, you know, Saturday night when I see you wearing that, you're gonna be controlling my vector in my verge.

What's that? Very, very, very. Yes. Vectors are the other one. Which controls your vector? The vectors, they're in their prostate toy. Sorry, the verge. What's the vector? The vector goes and I didn't know you well enough to know if you wanted to prostate toy. Well, now that you've met me. Do we have one new sex toy closet? Next time. We do have a mini sex toy closet in the locker room. We have two, my whole office.

Usually I have an office right around there, down the street. But we have a, oh, sex toy closet, the size of this wall. Oh my goodness. We get like 20 pounds of toys delivered to our A week to our office that we have to try out and then give to our friends. I love that you know it by poundage as a lot Because there's hundreds and hundreds and so many things. It's so fun because we never know like what's coming in today And then sometimes it's like oh, there's my license plates, but then most of times it's like you

Looves and anal toys and yeah, it's like, oh, there's my license plates. But then most of the time, it's like, Loub, Loub's in anal toys, and yeah, it's fun. So that'll be fun with your toys there. You can play with them. So yeah, scheduling sex works for a lot of couples. So. Yeah, I thought it would have been a killer, but yeah, I'm gonna try that. But you don't, oh, see, it's just hard to do.

We have a sex date, and I'm gonna wear this toy, and you're gonna do this thing, and yeah, Nikki, what do we do? Nikki, easily have sex with her. I mean, I can see that why I'm scheduling it, because I think it's like putting an effort on both of your parts, that showing that you're both committed to a certain time.

Right. And then you're like, yeah, and then you know it, and you can't get out of it really. You know what I'm saying? Because most times, they're like, oh, I thought people go in date night, and then they get too, they eat too much, and then the sex doesn't happen, right? And like, oh, fuck, but if you know that it's about the sex,

and I always say, have sex with four dinner. Winner, winner, sex before dinner. Well, I like that. And I have a very relaxed dinner. Yeah, a chill out dinner. If you make it to dinner, how great if you just don't. So sometimes I think we gotta just prioritize sex. I love those, I love those, those times.

We're like, are we gonna go for dinner and then you just never make it? And then you don't. I like that having sex for dinner because if you really put in the work, it like you know what I'm getting dessert. Yeah, exactly. I understand.

And we already did it. It's on you. Yeah, because then you have to worry about sex. You're like, oh, I don't wanna eat too much because we're gonna have sex later. But then you already did it. And then yeah, because then you have to worry about sex. You're like, oh, I don't want to eat too much because we're going to have sex later. But then you already did it. And if you have it again, it's like your double dessert. So okay, Dean, there's a whole thing

about your sex life online. I just had to like Google it. And then they're like, okay, your sex life is well documented. You got you got real about it. So it says that you're insatiable. What does that mean? But you said that already. But you know, I said that. Yeah. No, I just I I love having sex I love having sex with my wife and when I was single, I love having sex with Anyone anyone I could like you know, um

It's the best thing that you can do that's Relatively free like if you just eat you don't have to do the dinner thing of the day, like if you just meet someone you're totally attracted to, and you just like have sex, it's the best thing in the world. So why wouldn't you want to do it all the time? When you're in a good mood, when you're in a bad mood, when you're depressed, like, I just think it cures all that ails you. Yeah, I mean, I agree with you,

but I think that so many couples just, there's, they have resentments, things build up, their pace that they didn't take out the trash, or didn't remember their birthday or they didn't show up for them in some way. And then sex becomes the problem. You know, sex, they don't often know that it's sex, but then they stop having sex and then they're like, we don't connect anymore. They need the channel that I'm resentment somewhere else.

Yeah. It's true. Because even editorialists told me, it's like no matter how mad I am at you, how pissed off I am at you. I look at you and go oh god. I want to fuck you like Love you guys. It's just yeah, it's just then they hate fuck. That's the one thing. We've never hate fucked That's what they never ate each other. They're all over each other. We've been mad each other But it's never been one of those All right, good. We've never done that. So how is your sex I've gotten more adventurous since you've been together?

He's pondering. He's going to the roll of death. No, but why? I'm wondering, we can talk after the show. Oh, OK. Just because it's so many things that I talk about, about our relationship, makes its way to the press. OK, is there anything you can do podcast?

Anything such thing as bad press, there's like a million podcasts right now. I just need to take a break from it. Okay, got it, no press. Cause it's for like 18 episodes, there's been something weekly. But that's good, how's your numbers? It is good, our numbers are great.

Don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong, but at the same time, I want to- I don't press. We don't have a fuzzy chair yet though. You've got to love my fuzzy chair, you guys. Yeah, so of course. You're soon you're gonna be able to watch this just so you know, we're taping tonight's our first night. Oh, oh.

Yes, hi cameras, I forget. I forget. You look amazing, Nikki. Why, we gotta get you, Nikki still, we've spent a lot of my time. Nikki, the chicken, I like, I wonder. I think the deans having so much sex and you're not having any.

No, because I don't like to break a sweat. I'm a sweater in the bedroom. There's so many issues. Right, okay, but girls know, okay? because when I sweat, I look like a little Richard So I don't want to look up while I'm getting plowed and just have a lazy river going down my back I'm just I don't like people to see me vulnerable. I know you don't you don't but they might do you think it's gonna hurt your comedy If you just start to feel emotions right down that shelf. No, I'm very emotional. I like to move you I just hate you hate you hate sweat. Do you hate sweaters? I mean my sweat. No, I'm very emotional. I'm like, do you hate sweat?

Do you hate sweaters? I mean, my sweat. No, sex is messy, sweaty, dirty, bloody. Yeah. No, sweat, hot. I love sexy, sweaty, sweat. I love when Tori's belly button fills up with my sweat. My God.

That is my worst nightmare. For example, can I just say, oh my God, that is so, I want to help you. but at the same time, I want to beat the shit out of you. I get it. Let me do, let me do, I do two movies in the badgerments. Missionary and ask, are you close? I'm like, how much longer do we need to do this?

And that's my problem, I have sex. If you want to get real fine, here I go, Emily. All right, of course, I've had sex. You know what I mean? I'm a gay, young Italian man with the old brajole. But I, you know, sometimes I feel like sometimes I'm into a flick the first two minutes. I'm like, oh my God, this is exhausting.

And his tooth looks loose. I'm like, I want to get me out of here. So I have it. I think I've never had sex with somebody I've been in love with. Could you have been in love? Yes, I have it. I know, because then sex with just somebody, because you think they're hot,

is gonna get boring after like a few minutes. It can, it sounds like that's happening for you. Yes, it is. About a minute in, I'm like, I wanna go home. Yeah, exactly. And then I am home, I'm like, should I burn my house down? How do I end this?

I'm really hurt because I didn't know that's what you were thinking while we were having sex. I'm really hurt right now. Oh, see. I really hurt. Okay, but is this, do you enjoy sex ever? How about we do, do you masturbate?

I do masturbate and I like masturbating because you know what, you know, whatever you say or you view, you clear your history and it's like it's never happened. It's like a white thing. It's like a conflict guilt. Yeah, but you know, but I've never had sex. I was like, oh my God, I can't wait to do that again.

I've had sex and I was like, you should really be ashamed of yourself. Oh my God, this is the therapy. Yeah. Yeah, because we all care, a lot of us care around things from religion and childhood and we never, you're still young, you can still get it out of your head. Well, the first time I had sex, I was in college and I thought it was going to be, oh God and he burped. So maybe that he burned it.

Yeah, see? Oh, now I'm not that crazy after all. Burped in your face. It was that that it was in the bedroom. He like he burped I was like this the night I lost my virginity. I have to look back and say he burped up a bacon cheeseburger But I thought it'd be like fireworks and magic and I was that was it Do you think we dobs? Okay, but welcome to sex welcome to losing your virginity nobody has great first time sex No, but I thought it'd be magical and it wasn't. Oh my God. But that's what everyone thinks.

It's the first time it's... No, first time was awkward and weird. It's really short. It's never been magical. No. Ever. How many times? How many times have I had sex?

I've only had sex with about like 10 to 15 people. Maybe I'm just... Yeah, you're still starting out. Yeah, you're up there. That's not a lot. I have my training wheels still on. But here's the thing, it's one time and you leave in two minutes So like really is it is it have you had the full-on sex with these people and had like a just it was a one-off thing?

No, I've had okay. Yeah There was one guy that I was sleeping with in college who I really loved and then I looked in his ear and it looked like a Yankee candle Oh God So am I crazy? Do I have issues or are I right on the money? Okay, get a Q-tip if you want to fuck me. Yeah, dude, I mean, but everyone's going to have a thing. Oh, flawed. That's all flawed. But if you're asleep with him, you're looking at his ear and you're like, oh no.

Why am I looking at the ear? How could you not? I just told you. Emily, how could you not? I don't look at the ear. You don't look at things like that? No, but what if you do see something you don't like? You focus your attention back on something you like.

Yes, thank you, Dean. No, I focus on everything I was like. You're like OCD, too. I'm a little OCD, and I had to tell him. I said, I think you should use a Q-tip. Yeah, you could even place one out. And then that's when he called the taxi in the... He did?

He was very upset. And he also... It's the way you present the Q-tip though. We talk a lot about communication on the show. I always say communication is a lubrication. We have to talk about it in a way that's, yeah, talk about it in a way that makes your partner feel good, but you're like, here's a Q-tip, right?

He's like, what's rhyme, flawed? Because we got to feel we're flawed, so it's a way you can be like, hey, when you're in the shower, so you're like, let me clean your ear. I don't think that'd be hot. Oh, that's, that's what I might do. You gotta make shit, you gotta make things hot with my dad.

I do like phone sex, Emily. Good, you do, because you don't have to see them or touch them. And then I can hang up and be like, sorry, I boost mobile. And then I'm off the hook. Let me, let me, this sister reminded me of something. Burp reminded me of something.

I slept with this girl. I really liked her. She was my best friend's sister. And I really really liked her. And I pursued her and we dated. And the very first time we had sex, it was fantastic and amazing. I really really liked her and I pursued her and we dated and the very first time we had sex it was fantastic and amazing I really liked this girl and we were lying there in the aftermath and it was kind of time to kind of fall asleep and I went from we were spooning this way and I turned this way and the motion from me going I farted

okay that happens and she I was mortified what she couldn't have been more cool about it And she was like She pissed on my face Perfect, but no the thing is is like here was we had a great we had a great time and then here was something that could have potentially been A game-ender, okay, and she was like oh no this happened I don't know about it and she talked me off the ledge because I was like, oh my god, I've never done this. How long ago was it? I was like, you're 20. Yeah. That's when you worry about these things. I think, but she couldn't have been cool about it. So like, so where buddy has wax in his ear,

like, exactly. He may have all these exhumans. Yeah. You know, like, you've all these expectations of no one's per- yeah, people are gonna fart, they're gonna be messy. There's things going to happen during sex, sex is messy. And it's also beautiful. I think we need to have sex. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you.

And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you.

And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And I need to sweat on you and fart on you. And could be my co-host. Oh my God. I would love that. Let me know when I get a fuzzy chair. No. Fine. Whatever. Whatever you want. I'll sit in the corner. No, I'm hung like a light switch. God is a cosmic Joker. Cause when Tory was on her show, she had a limp. So I've just been what I've since that day. She's happy with this. Yes, she's happy with it.

Just happy with everything. I can't do porn. Put it that way. Okay. Like I wouldn't. She is happy with it. She's happy with everything. I can't do porn, put it that way. Okay. Like I wouldn't be a candidate for porn, but you know, I've had zero complaints in the hundred, some of the ones that I've been with. I'm gonna go with it. Ben Franklin loved his dick,

because what he was trying to do. Abraham could just not get enough of it. I feel like he'd been through a lot here, you guys. We have. I feel like he's made some, a lot lot of a lot of inroads about like, I know. You guys, I know more about you now than doing our own bug. Emily just brings that out of me.

She just has that charm. Guys, this is what I do. I help people come together in some ways. Well, you know what I'm saying? Open up. Open up. If you'll say, this is a safe place. Yeah.

I want my open up, right? Open up the wheel more play. That loop is going to back. You just tell me you're going to love it. Okay, you guys, I got to ask you the five questions I ask all of our guests, right? And your rapid fire. Okay. I want my open up right open up the wheel more play that loop is gonna you just tell me you're gonna love it Okay, I gotta ask you the five questions. I ask all of our guests ready to wrap it fire. Okay. There are quick keys ready Biggest turn on Nikki Paris face Biggest turn on Dean McDermott

But China's Biggest biggest turn off Dean Really saggy boobs Biggest yeah, fried egg boobs rightgy boobs. Biggest, yeah. Fried egg boobs. Fried egg boobs, what's that? They're like fried eggs on a nail. Oh, yeah.

All right, biggest turnoff, Nikki. Not being cleanly. Okay. And what makes good sex, Nikki? When it's on my terms, good action. Something you would tell your younger self about sex. Do some more setups Dean stop worrying

Okay, number one sex tip Make sure there's towels and his annex close number one sex. Oh go down on your woman like The care for the disease you have is in it. Oh Yeah, baby Dean I love you. That's amazing. Nikki love you too. You guys check out their podcast daddy issues that daddy issues show Deem McDermott on Instagram and Twitter right this is all gonna be on our show notes Nikki Paris bitch on Instagram and Twitter. We're taking a quick break and we come back. We're going to get into your questions. All right, we have Rob who's 42 in California who did have an issue with IG. Ooh, an Instagram problem. What happened, Rob? I'm dying to know. Hi, this is Rob, are you there? I'm here, Rob.

Yes. Okay. So, I you there? I'm here Rob. Yes. Okay. So, I am in a 18-year relationship, started with a girlfriend, now my wife. Okay. Throughout the course of the relationship, I had loyalty issues on my side. Okay. And I've done a lot of introspective work therapy with addiction therapists and things like that. I've done some energy work to get past those issues.

But interestingly enough, technology let me down all along the way. And the most recent form of this was Instagram. Back before the current administration in the White House changed the rules about what was allowed on Craigslist and Backstage and things like that. I made I made a lot of my extracurricular transactions on there and so a lot of times you call it that well it's your phone number and you you text back and forth or whatever to set up a date or however it works. Well so now when and and my wife and I, by the way, are on the same iTunes account because that's how it got set up all of those years ago.

I'm sorry I'm going on so long about this, but now when she goes to say, like, there's a, and I've stayed off social media all these years because I didn't want to get caught. And so now she goes on Instagram and it says, you might want to follow these people based on your history and who's in your contacts. Oh. And it's a bunch of people that I have probably contacted though, maybe we never met up or anything. But it's bikini pictures and stuff.

Oh my god. And totally, it totally brings her back to the trauma that I created and it's like oh my god if I could keep her off Instagram and Facebook and all of these things that continue to trigger her from my past behaviors it would be a wonderful. Oh god because you share the cloud and iTunes out you're saying it all comes up. Oh Wow, Rob. I'm sorry that happened That's how I got caught one of my Contact sent me a sent me a

breast picture and my kids got it Oh my god, I've heard these Because that your kid was playing a candy crush on the iPad or something right and then they're like oh what's this boom yeah I know. This is why I stopped sharing everyone shares everything do we have to all become one can we keep our own iTunes cap what is this exactly so laws of unintended consequences you know saving money as a family we're trying to keep things on one bill and then wow wow. And then whoop. Wow, wow Rob. So are you guys OK now? Yeah, we're OK.

You know, we still, you know, she's still triggers. Sometimes it's a song. Sometimes it's a behavior. If I go quiet for a day or something, she starts to wonder what I'm up to. Sometimes she tracks my phone to see where I'm at. And you know, the technology lets me down and she goes well how can you not at work and it's like I'm sitting here at my desk let me

take a picture. Oh God Rob this sounds super unhealthy I'm happy to hear that you did healing and you're so for sobriety work has your wife done her work. Well at the at the addiction place we went to doesn't count she came for a few weeks yeah and she was gonna have to have basically a truth red to her and it was basically i was told it was going to be like a police report i did such and such with this person on this day that the such and such with this person on that date

and the and you give me a lot of the test rob robber all i'm saying is you were in addiction she can't have it on her own to she have ongoing support right now seeing a therapist every single week this is your wife of 18 year 18 years she needs to do her own work okay yes okay and thanks for thanks for calling yeah I appreciate it good

thanks for no it's a lot but I appreciate I like that that was what she does need to do her own work I'm just saying you guys it really because I just see him getting into this problem now with Rob has done a lot of work on himself and she can every okay listen, I picture Rob not saying he's a saint and I don't think it's great that when I cloud I had so many friends who've gotten caught and People on the show and whatever from cheating because they share all the stuff and the kids get weird sex since it's a whole thing. But when he's saying that he's still sitting in his desk and working his wife doesn't believe he's there,

he's like, here I am, look, here's my cubicle. Like that's just, that makes me think of Alan. That makes me think of Alan. She needs something like that. Yes, Alan, because I need to do that. I need to do that. It's free therapy. And I had to do that because I was that kind of person

with my husband who is now sober, he's three years sober. And at the time, I was that kind of person where I felt like I now sober. He's three years sober. And at the time, I was that kind of person where I felt like I needed to check up on him. What is he doing? I had counted all the beer bottles. It's like, I realized, yes, I realized I am part of the issue. Yes. And so then I stopped doing it.

And that's when he decided to get sober because he saw, oh, she's not doing this anymore. Right. What's going on? And then it was like, because it's like homeostasis, like you changed your behavior. Right. What's going on? And then it was like, Because it's like homeostasis, like you changed your behavior. Right.

And he was like, oh, that leads him out to drink, which is a beautiful story. And that's, but I feel like for Rob, that's probably what she needs to do. She needs to do that too. Exactly. We have Heather, who's 52 in Canada, who wants to know how to use anal toys.

Oh, well, hello Heather. I'd love to help you with your anal toys. What are some of your questions? Yeah. What I've never never used them. I don't even know for sure. It's like my husband has been having these leaves or so. It's like a hundred percent. Okay, but do you have the toys yet? Because I can tell you my favorite. You have to get the B vibe beginner anal kit. It's literally the most perfect anal kit I've ever seen in my life. Our friend Alicia was on, was she had here, she's on the podcast from B vibe.

You want to check her out? She's amazing. Like, let me tell you this. She's a woman and she, Heather, she devoted her life to creating like literally the bet. Like only anal toys and she's got this thing called the beginner anal kit and explained Everything about anal play and it comes with a few different sides an anal training kit and it comes with a few different sizes And it even it has like a

Loop shooter so you can get lube in there and it even teaches you like the different let it has like a guide It like it's really the best guide to anal sex it says pictures and and it's, so I mean, because really what you want to do is you just want to make sure that you go slow Maybe even start with a finger if you guys have done that yet, and then you can move into a toy Make sure it helps to be already really turned on It helps to maybe already have an orgasm first getting a comfortable position, and then you put a toy in with a little bit of lube a lot of lube And then you just kind of yeah yeah. So the one that usually in the back, or do you want to round, like that on, you know? Oh, oh, oh, you mean, how are you lying on your,

you could be lying on your back. You could have a pillow, no, okay. You could have a pillow under your bum that kind of lifts it up under your lower back. You could also be in the, like in the spooning position. That's a great way to do it. You could also get on your hands and knees Like doggy stuff. What about anal toys for him? No, like using them for him. Oh, yeah You could use them you could use an anal toy for him

You could use a butt plug. So what I'm talking about is butt plugs initially But for a man. There's these prostate toys, right? And men have a prostate. Oh, that yes, well, you could go to that's what you want. And narrowest toys, they go, I got you. The vector by Wevibe is their new prostate toy. And we love that we're going to put all this in the show notes so you don't have to write it down. If you go to sexualfamily.com. So a narrowest and Wevibe have toys. And essentially, you know, it's the same thing. It helps for him to, you know, be turned on, use a lot of lube, and then you, you carefully fall, you know, he just kind of puts it in slowly,

or you put it in him slowly. And unless you're also talking about penetrating them, are you thinking about like using a strap on? Like, what'd you have in mind there? Not a strap on, like that may be down the road, but just to start off with, it would you know like anal beads or anal beads are fun I would start with something small like a snug plug she's got snug plug this if you go to be vibe it's bell let her be like but snug plugs butt hugs and be vibes is the name of the podcast we did with her

with Alicia Sinclair and just go to if you listen to pod gets easy just google it online we'll put it in the show notes. You can listen to it. We give a whole beginner kit about anal. What toys to use, okay? Thanks a lot. Thanks for calling Heather. All right, we have Christina, who's 35 in California

and has a question about vibrators and orgasms. Okay. I know something about it probably. How you doing, Christina? Hi Emily. Hey, thanks for calling. So it's amazing to talk to you finally. I live this year's show every day. Oh. I'm so glad to ride along with you. How can I help you?

All right. So I have a question. So I was married for four or three years and I was born last year and I know I have a partner who is amazing and pretty much awakened me, actually, I guess, after ten years of late-school, I think sexual suppression, I'll say. So I'm pretty happy with him. I'm having a maiden fact with him. And I know that he enjoys a lot, I keep him oral but it's getting to get to basic. So I think I heard the other day, I think I caught in the middle James thing that he should

use a boy, like a braiding boy on his clothes and a bottle of water. Yes, she did. I was wondering how can I introduce that to him. It's really good for everybody. Yeah, we've got you. I was wondering how can I introduce that to him. They're really good for everybody. Yeah, we've got you. Let me just make sure I get this question, Christina. Are you saying that you're with a great new guy?

He's opened you up sexually and you'd like to kind of spice up your blowjob skills or all sex skills? And using a toy. Yeah. Got it. So we were talking about, I think that was it the G-JAP to G-Vib mini is, we've sort of adopted it So we were talking about, I think that was it the G Jack, the G vibe mini. G vibe mini is, we've sort of adopted it as our little, our favorite oral helper, handy helper.

So Jamie, you want to talk about your experience with that, the G vibe mini? Yeah, so the way, well, the way that I introduced it was before we were having sex. We weren't, we weren't, we were just sitting in the couch watching TV. And then I had let him know, I was like, oh, so I got this thing from work, which obviously probably wouldn't be your situation, but you can't even think about, you know, trying. I've been listening to this show and they talked about this thing and I thought it was really interesting. So I let him, I brought it out and I let him look at it first. Yes. And like kind of like, and he was just like, well, what is happening? Because at first,

he thought I was going to stick it inside of him. I was like, no, no, no. I was like, trust me. I was like, this is going to make this next blow job. I give you the best blow job you've ever had. Yeah. So he was very excited. And naturally, he was just like all game for it. He's like, like, now? Yeah. So then I took it though. And I turned it it on the lowest setting and I let, I like put it around sensitive areas, not necessarily on his penis or his balls yet. So that he, I was like, how does it feel? Is it good? Is this going to, he's like, no, I'm into this.

I like this. So then I had my handy dandy loob, isn't it really on the side? So when I get into the blow job, I start out, you start out like a normal blow job, just like how you normally would. And then you just start to use because the way it kind of looks like a wishbone. So if you can cut that like bows out. Let's put a picture over the show notes. You guys, good. Yeah. We'll put a picture of it in the show notes. And so I just started using it gently on the lowest setting up and down his shaft, kind of like following where my mouth was going. Right. So it kind of, yeah, so he was just lightly a little bit.

And then the more that he, I looked at his reaction, so I would look up at him to see if he was liking it. And then I started going faster with it. But it's very light on the touch. So it's not going around him. It's not doing like, it's not tight on there, but it just gives that little extra sensation like right under your chin as you go up and down.

Say you put it on your chin, or you put it up directly on the penis. Yeah, right? Yeah, but I had it kind of bolt. So I had it underneath my chin this way. So when it's penis was in your mouth, you could feel the vibrations. Exactly.

And then going up and down the penis. There you go. Is that helpful, Christina? Yeah, so you make it like you tease him with it. I don't know what person, if someone approached me and said, I've got this toy for Rural Sucks, it's gonna make you feel amazing. I was like, yeah.

But I think you do wanna bring him into it and show him how hot it's gonna be and all that stuff. And we started as low setting. Thanks, Christina. I'm glad you found the show. We love hearing from you. It's awesome. Hey guys, thanks for listening to the show.

Thank you for sharing the show. Maybe there's a friend or a family member that you really need this information. Thanks for sharing it and for reviewing us. Like wherever you listen, whatever platform or everywhere you listen, we love when you review us. When you give us a lot of stars, all those things. Okay guys, thank you and thanks to our amazing team Ken Kristen, Alisa, Michelle, producer

Jamie and Michael. It was a good for you. Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. at mle.com.