Sex With Emily - Who's Your Daddy?

Episode Date: February 15, 2017

Happy Valentine’s Day, lovers! Whether you’re single or coupled up, today’s show is here to help you feel the love (& other sensations) this February 14th. Emily is joined by Jamie and Madison to help you get through your sex and dating hang-ups. The team tackles your emails regarding female masturbation habits, guidelines for ghosting and how to experiment with divisive dirty talk—do most guys like to be called daddy? They also share their favorites from your “Best Valentine’s Day Ever” stories, discuss their own special plans for the evening and reveal why so many millennials are so damn lonely in the digital age. So, don’t go breaking our hearts and tune in for a hot and heavy valentine’s day treat! Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep this podcast FREE: Adam & Eve, Pour Moi, Sportsheets and System JO.  Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Hey everyone, thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Happy Valentine's Day sending you all lots of love. Remember it today about love, whether you're single and a relationship somewhere in between, just love yourself. Because I love you. I really do. Thank you everyone for listening. It's part of the show.

Okay, in today's show, I'm doing by part of the Sex with Emily team. I've Madison and Jamie here, so you know it's going to be awesome. We're honor the day of love by helping you through your love and sex conundrums. Are you wondering how to work daddy into your dirty talk? Are your partners master-based habits caused for concern? Plus tips for navigating the dating world.

Is there a right way to ghost on a bad sex partner? All this and more, thanks for listening. Guys, they're the eyes of a man obsessed by sex. Eyes that mock our sacred institutions. Betrubize, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken. He thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got a hair standard. Oh my.

The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common, Avaline? What do you mean, like, laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Oh my god, I'm off here. So, go on.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Emily's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex relationships and everything you between. For more information, go to sexwithelmate.com and check out all the fun stuff we have there. We've got the posts. We've got the blogs every day.

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We love that. And the newsletter. Okay. Hi team. Hi, Jamie, Madison. Hello. Happy Valentine's Day, my loves. Happy Valentine's Day.

Happy Valentine's Day. Happy, me day. Too all. Oh, you're each of my loves. I'm a little hard to my eyes looking at you. Yeah, so I'm joining because this is an important day of love. What are you guys gonna do today? Okay, TbD, Taco Tuesday.

Not like what you're thinking, you guys. If you think Taco, we're thinking of some subversive way, we actually mean tacos. Yeah, authentic tacos. Who knows, you don't know how the night's gonna end. Dude, it could be like a taco Tuesday. I'm going out with my best girlfriend, Sia, so who knows? That's cool.

That's the taco. BFF, I feel like chicks don't usually hook up with BFFs. No, yeah, probably. Guys, it was like you guys are gonna hook up. Like my friend sleeps over like, they like visit me, you're sleeping the same bed, you can hook up, like no, all the chicks I've hooked up with, like I didn't know. Well, actually, that's not true, I do have a crew on my friend, Ashley, and visit me like you're sleeping the same bed you can hook up like no all the chicks I've hooked up with like I didn't know

well actually that's not true I do have a crumb on my friend Ashley and I make jokes about all the time in front of her and I'm like well I'm like you know I'm not really joking though like if you were down and she's just like oh I know it's just it's just a running thing she buys actual? no not at all are you?

I'm like I've- I've- curious? I mean I've like made out with chicks before and I think they're like attractive but I've never liked'm curious. I mean, I've like made out with Shakespeare 4 and I think they're like attractive, but I've never liked- No, like some vagina.

No, that- Another vagina, what that's like in your life. I've always like been like, you know, like, I would totally let anything happen to me, like a girl do whatever to me. I don't know if I'd be able to reciprocate just because I've never have, but- She gets selfish by sexual.

I don't know though. I don't know. I know you don't know so that you don't know into the moment strikes to the taco strikes. But up until now it's it's right now I don't really know where I lie on the sky. Okay, that's fine. No, right. Close your district. Open. Right. Right. I totally get it. Madison, you who going out with a friend? No, you have a boyfriend. I mean,

we'll see. Yeah, TBD. Yeah, TBD. Who knows what's going to happen. But to your earlier point, I actually have two best friends where their first sexual experiences with each other. Do you know what it's for? Yeah, we were all like the three Musketeers and then we kinda like in high school, we kinda like branched off a little bit

and they went on vacation with one of the girls parents and told like throwing them under the bus right now, whatever, no names. But they went on vacation with one of the girls parents and just started like experimenting. So they reach others like first like sexual touching, like making out, fingering like all of that. And then they didn't tell anyone else for like months. And so when it finally happened, we're like, when they finally brought it up, we're like, how

the, like how have you been holding on to this? We've all been hanging out. No one has said anything. So I was thought that was interesting. Was it an isolated incident? Yeah, I think so. And then from then on, they had this weird competitive thing where they tried to date the same people. And they were bisexual for a while. And then they weren't bisexual.

And one of them actually went on to embrace bisexuality full time while the other just went back to dating dudes. Interesting. Yeah, I should never say never. You're right. In my life, I just feel like. No, to dating dudes. Interesting. Okay, yeah, I should never say never. You're right. In my life, I just feel like my friends have had forever. Yeah, I feel like it was like a varied bizarre incident. Like we don't know each other since they were 10.

We were 10, so that was kind of interesting to me. But, yeah, I guess it happened sometimes. It's right. It happened totally. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I mean, they're still hope. Hey, man, seriously.

It's fun. I think if you're curious about it, it's like, you know, put it out there into the universe. You might just come your way. You never know. Okay, you guys, we, anything else about Valentine's Day? What are you doing? What are you doing?

Oh God, I thought we were just gonna skip through that. I actually, I don't know. I'm just a guy with a friend as well. I'm just a guy with two friends. And I didn't really commit to anything. It's been a really busy week. I think I'm just gonna have with a friend as well. I'm just a guy with two friends. And I didn't really commit to anything. It's been a really busy week. I think I'm just going to have dinner with some friends. I'm not so totally caught up in Valentine's Day.

And rather than going out with like some of them dating, I'd rather just hang out with my friends that I love. So, and I've been so busy like the last week doing a lot of, I feel like I'm Valentine's Dayed out with all the press I've been doing around Valentine's Day. It was super fun. I was just on the Adam and Drew podcast. Adam, Dr. Drew, I was on Think Tank, Jason Ellis' podcast and Think Tank, which is a really great show by Hannah Cranston. It's a YouTube

on the YouTube channel. You know, check out the YouTube there. It's very interesting. I have videos. It's on the Interweb, Google. And then what else do I do? It feels like there was a lot of whatever it was fun So I feel like I've had my fair share, but um, you know friends and love it's all about love guys So and we also if you're like thinking about what do you know you still don't know when you're listening to the show We've got a lot of good tips on the website. We've some good articles up there blog posts stuff like that Totally ways to love yourself Uh hot Valentine's Day dates that don't cost a thing. Jamie has an entire cooking blog up.

Uh-huh, that's a move right. Would actual food in it, actual recipes. Jamie, that's quite an endeavor, right? Okay. Hot and kitchen, hot and the bedroom. Not just vagina tacos. That's just vagina tacos. Although I do think I'm going to have to create

some kind of like recipe for those, not to put on an actual genital area But just to make Oh, like a vagina like maybe like a a cookie cutter But it's shaped like a vagina like a vagina taco. It's actually like a taco shell at shape like a vagina I think I could figure it out the innards are shaped like it. Yeah, we'll get back to you guys on that Okay, good. I don't want to promise you guys anything You know, okay. Um, you guys, um, okay, so little sex in the news here, I picked out just for my favorite millennials.

Um, it says here there was a study every year match.com comes out with a study. It's a singles in America study. And they, and it's actually, I respect this study because not only did they have me fly me to New York a few years ago to be on a panel with Patty Stanger, Helen Fisher who is an amazing doctor of sex and Perez-Helton talking about it. So I like it, but I also, I really respect Helen Fisher and what she has to say. So this study says that millennials are skipping first dates and going straight to having sex. How about that? So many women of a certain age knew the score. First some whining and dining, then some bumping and grinding. That's how deity went and the grinding part often didn't happen until the second or

third date at best. But a recent study indicates per usual the millennials are throwing the old rulebook out the window and saving themselves time and money and going straight to home base. The New York Post reports that according to research done by singles in America, as well as match at comms advisor Dr. Helen Fisher, millennials are 48% more likely than others to go ahead and have sex before they even hit the wine bar. Dr. Fisher says it's a younger generation of adults are doing it to see who the other person is, and if they want to bother with putting up

putting any time and energy into them. So she's saying just knock it off the list, see if you have chemistry and then maybe get the wine. I don't know. So it also says that millennials are 66% less likely to get off during a one night. Oh, through oral sex saying that you guys aren't participating in oral sex that much. Wow. That is disappointing. And I'm going to have to active. Yeah. I'm going to have to talk to all of you individually

about this because this is a shame. Don't let oral go. I'm not. I love you. millennials. Nothing's made me hate you. I'll but really if you guys are like abolishing oral sex or was that our president did you do that? No you guys. Yeah I would be yeah um the Clinton administration didn't do well for it. No that's true or did they or you like nine year olds going mommy what's um what was it like uh what they sensualized it yeah it's not intercourse technically so. Right exactly um so also and it also says though yeah you're not having oral and you're less likely to get off that way which is, would your body's changed or is it that your partners don't know how? I think it's partners don't know how on a lack of comfort personally. I was never able to enjoy oral sex until it was with someone who I was super comfortable with.

And it's like, granted, we're getting really sex positive now. Like, our generation, especially, I've noticed they've made huge str- Like, you know, like, your generation set it up, actually, with like all the women's movements and everything. And then like, they've recently come to like, very specific, like, taking away vagina shame. But it still exists. And I think a lot of maybe girls have trouble letting loose

because they're not into it. And then guys don't know what the fuck they're doing down there. Exactly. Because the vagina is a Rubik's cube of life. So what do you think, Jamie? In my experience, it's hit or miss kind of like with who you're with. Like some people really just don't even

start to head down that area. And some people like super love it. So it's kind of like depending on just like who you're going out with, I guess. And then also I guess it depends on what circumstance that you're having sex with them, because I feel like a lot of millennials are having, like, drunk in hookups and stuff like that,

and a lot of times during that, it's hard to keep it going for so long, because you're kind of just like drunk and trying to like, you know, going through the motions and all that stuff. So it's, I think that has a lot to do with it too. But if you're like, first of all, if you're going on a full blown sober and there's no foreplay, then I have no idea what you guys are doing.

I know, right? What are you doing? You're not turned on yet, you're not. Yeah, absolutely. If there's no time or strength, then let's relax, let's go for it. It's stuff like that. I agree with you. And I think it is interesting.

And again, I don't like to stereotype even an age group, but even in my, I've said this before, that even in college, when my first boyfriend, the first guy that tried to go down to me, I think I was a junior in college, and I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I was like, I'm in this frat house,

this is horrible, like please don't, like I'm so terrified that you don't, I'm thinking, you don't wanna do this, this is gross to you, this is gross to me. I didn't understand my body, I didn't understand it, and I really feel like, and then later, like in my probably after I graduated, I got a little more comfortable. But I do think it's a practice thing too. And guys don't have a lot of practice down there because it goes both ways. Women might not want it. Guys don't know what

they're doing. So that might be part of it. But, you know, yeah, I don't stop trying. I try. One experienced where a guy was just like, he was like, oh, you've never, it was my first ever, like oral sex experience. And he was like, oh, it was my first ever, like oral sex experience. And he was like, oh, you never had a guy go down on you. Like, let me rock your world. And like, I laid back and it was just the most uncomfortable. I was actually, I found a bunch of my old journals. And I was reading one and I was like,

maybe I'm broken, because he just didn't feel like anything at all and I just wanted it to be over. And he would hit a random part where I'd like, I'd jerk up, because it was like so sensitive. And he just didn't know where he was putting his tongue, but he was so overzealous with it. Like, I don't know where you get that combination of just like lack of body.

And also, yeah, and also like an inflated sense of like sexual confidence where he was like, I've got this and I was like, never is anyone putting their face in my mouth. Right. No, I know. Jesus, that's bad. Yeah, it takes some time, you guys.

And again, you never, you probably would write if your glitter is, saw it in porn. We're like 17, so I'm kind of a freak. That's okay, hopefully he's doing better now. Okay, so also it says that 57% of millennials for all their tech savvy and digitally connected social lives, you feel lonely most of the times, most time you feel lonely.

It's true. Can you resonate with loneliness of the times, most time you feel lonely. It's true. Can you resonate with loneliness? Like, have you, your peers? Yeah, I know, like, I don't know, a lot. I guess my friends are kind of all over the place when it comes to that. I'm like, very like, I like kind of being on my own kind of thing. I don't really feel like the loneliness too much.

But I do have a friend who like, she's kind of like me in the sense that she likes to go out and like date multiple people and stuff like that, but she at the end of the day would like to come home to someone and cuddle with someone. So she does feel that lonely. So it is there. And of course, everyone wants that companionship. Like, no matter what.

Right, I don't think this is like generation specific here. Yeah. A good lonely. And I think actually loneliness is actually a healthy thing to feel. Totally. I think a lot of people we all try to avoid loneliness by distracting ourselves and keeping busy and just doing anything but feeling,

which is, you know, I think it's really good to go through the feelings, go through the motions of life. But okay, so what do you guys think about this? Do you feel that your friends or yourselves are just kind of having, walking up, having sex on the first date right away? More so than, I really already not prepared to do that. I feel like everyone's there.

People have always done this. Yeah, but I think we're more cool about it now. Now we're doing it on purpose. It's not like anyone told us, oh, I love you forever. Let's just have sex. Now we're going into it. We're gonna have sex tonight.

Maybe it'll be good. Maybe we'll get a call, but if we're gonna do it, we're gonna be down for it. We're not gonna be victims to it. You're not gonna have the regrets the next morning, because you were also, it wasn't like, oh, is he gonna call? Is he not? It's kind of like women are taking more control of that as well. I'm in powerment. Like sexual empowerment. Sexual empowerment. Every guy goes into every day hoping he's gonna have sex.

Yeah, but he doesn't really have control over that. Exactly. I'm glad that women are feeling more in part of it, because I have to say that I still feel it. I'm, you know, I'm in part of it, because I have to say that I still feel that I'm no way conserved about this or do I hold dirty hard fast rules. But I always think like if you do like someone you're out with them, if you can tell, you're already out. I just think it's like the, you know, it's, it's such a great thing in the arousal and the building and the teasing before you actually have sex. It's in the best part.

Plus you're getting to know someone that if you sex right away, I get it. You're like, okay, I want to see if I'm even attracted to him. But a lot of times the first thing I have sex, it isn't the best part, plus you're getting to know someone, that if you sex right away, I get it, you're like, okay, I want to see if I'm even attracted to them, but a lot of times the first thing I have sex, it isn't the best. And the more you get to know someone, you actually like, do I want this penis in my vagina and vice versa? Yeah, I think that the thing is there, though, it just, it does depend on like the kind of person that you are. And because, and this, this is something I kind of just popped into my brain, which kind of like is clicking and making sense. But I feel like, especially me, but millennials too, like the way that dating is is like showing any kind of emotion

is like just like not okay. Like people are like, oh my god, you're showing emotions, you must be really into me. Like it's, we have this weird thing. So I think that it's easier for us to have sex first because that's what we're actually more comfortable with is the physicalness and not the emotional. So I think that if you get to know someone so much first and like them so much, you're gonna build up that idea of

how good the sex is gonna be in your head and then what if you're disappointed. So it's kind of like let's get it out of the way first. Let me know because I know that I want to do the physical thing most likely. Let's get that out of the way first. See if we have this connection, see if we have that chemistry. And then when I get to, like, I'll get to know you more emotionally after that, because that is something that I can actually, like, now would stand with you. So why do you think you guys are so afraid of intimacy? Madison's like a loaded question.

Yeah, like Jamie and I are both like, is it because you didn't have models of that? Because of the divorce rate, because of social media, techno, everything's playing in technology. But I'm just, it could be a mix of that. I think a big part of it is unrealistic expectations. Yeah. To be honest.

From what you want your partners to. Yeah, from like whatever. grew up believing like romance was to now. Like I would rather not, if I was in a relationship, I probably would not date because I just like, I feel like I would rather not, if I was in a relationship, I probably would not date because I just like, I feel like I don't understand it at all. Right. No, right. I know I agree and there's so much more now you could see.

Like, I feel like maybe it was more secretive or people didn't talk. There wasn't as much to watch, like television, everything that depicted like the real American family. Are the real family people going to divorce and affairs and polyamory and all the other choices out there, perhaps. That could be it. Or maybe intimacy just looks different and we need to like embrace it and kind of wrap our mind around that around that like hence you know the rise in popularity of open relationships and the rise in interest because maybe we just need to rethink the way we look at it. Yeah that's true but intimacy is still intimacy.

It's still like connecting with someone, opening up, trust being vulnerable. I mean, that's just with the components. I think trust is a big one. And I think that because like the internet and social media exists and plays such a big partner, it changes the way trust is built and broken. Right. So that's something that's always in the back of our minds.

Like in any moment in time, like it doesn't matter how good your relationship is, you could open up your boyfriend's phone and find Tinder on it. You know what I mean? And it's like, it happens't matter how good your relationship is, you could open up your boyfriend's phone and find Tinder on it. You know what I mean? And it's like, it happens every single fucking day. So it's hard to, I think it's hard to feel settled. And so true, or you just go Instagram,

you're like, why'd you like that bitch's photo, right? Yeah, I gotta trust you. There's the Instagram models, like, people, you can screenshot things, like, you know, it's, it's really a chat porn. Yeah, it's, and Snapchat, that's the thing too, is that like, it disappears and you never know. And you can delete the conversations

that you've had with people so it doesn't even show that you've been talking to that person on Snapchat at all. So it's kind of crazy just like how easy it is to be let us stray or to you. Absolutely, I mean, I cannot, I mean, I don't know what I would have done. I said like when I would have an X-Fiber Cup with someone when I was 24,

I would never see him again. Like maybe if I ran into him, but I would have an X, if I broke up with someone when I was 24, like, I would never see him again. Like, maybe if I ran into him, but I do nothing about him, where I was, who his friends were like, nothing unless you ran to a friend of a friend six months later. But now it's like, you break up, and you're like on the Facebook, they're snapped at their Instagram.

So it's really weird to always be connected with people you slept with. And when you're with them, obviously there's more options for them to cheat. But, okay, so speaking of, not speaking of that, let's move on to some positive things here. Now that's not positive. That was actually really interesting to me, you guys. Thank you for those insights.

Oh, yeah. That's just my question. So, sure. Okay, let's move on to the best Valentine's Day ever. I want to thank you for emailing us because a lot of times we asked you guys to send us your stories and, you know, send us your thoughts on things. And so this year we had a contest for the best valentines they ever. We asked for your submissions and they were amazing. We have like a 16 page document here and I seriously wish that we could read all of them. But I was,

I actually got super turned on reading before the church. I'm like, oh, this is so, so, so, I really like God. I love hearing from you guys. So thank you for taking the time to write this. Are we announcing the winners? No, not yet. So you're going to, so follow us on social media for that. And on the next show, we're going to announce the winners. I wish you could all win because they were really good. I was seriously, if we could send a vibrator to all of you,

we would. What show is that when they're like, I wish I could, I wish all of you could, you know, but there's only one that can, is it like the best or is it like that I think it's um, no, it's a, it's like American accent model. Yeah. Yeah. Like I wish it could be both of you, but only one or like Miss America is on this.

Yeah, something like that. Right. I wish you could all win a magic wand. Was there, yeah, those are the vibes right now. Um, okay. So, so you sent us your best, we got so many responses and this was the interesting part. We saw a lot of great trends in these emails about what make Valentine's Day great. We thought of core egg beaver thinking like maybe it would be about like a great gift

or like, you know, I don't know. I was thinking gifts or like surprised me with, you know, five star hotel room. Exactly. You're thinking about the stuff that you see on Instagram. Like those, that's kind of like what idol pictures. Yeah, exactly. Like someone's gonna be like, oh, like a candlelit dinner and Laguna, you know, like whatever.

And yeah, wasn't that right? No, it wasn't. So a lot of your best memories involve spending time together, which is something that we've been talking a lot about here and our posts and on the show and different press stuff we did, we were just saying saying like, have an experience together. Like, it's so much better like doing this big night and playing double-priced for a meal, but do something and involve, you know, have an experience. A lot of you had some really

hot experiences or just fun experiences, because I think that really makes sense. A couple to play together, stay together. Okay, and a lot, there's a fair amount of V-day, a fair amount of VD anal. Who knew? We always think that like August is anal sex month, but now it's I think it's February. So that's cool. So we can read, you guys want to read some of these? Some submissions? Yeah, totally. All right. Who wants to start? Jamie, I know you have years specifically picked out. Oh, we all picked that some of our face. I do. I like this one. I liked it a lot because it's really short and sweet.

But it is from his name is Brian and South Carolina. You have to do it in a Southern accent the whole time. I'm just kidding. Yeah, South Carolina accent is totally good. Yeah, I'm like, I'm really, really sorry. Okay, so just so that I don't butcher it and, you know, piss anyone off in South Carolina, I'm going to say it in my normal voice. Okay, so just so that I don't butcher it and, you know, piss anyone off in South Carolina, I'm going to say it in my normal voice. I'm kidding, no, no pressure.

I know, I totally would if I could. I know you would, I know, I would have practiced it. Yeah, I know. Okay, but basically, so he says that while I'm going to read it in his voice though, while mine was simple, it was well received and easily a reputable feat. We fed and put the kids to bed, then I made us dinner, steak, something that's French, pumpkin souffle, and asparagus.

The twist was that I only made one plate and sat down in between us, slipped off my tie and blindfolded my wife. Then I proceeded to feed the two of us dinner with her blindfolded the whole time. Taking away sight really does change how you experience your environment, no matter what's on the menu. I really liked that because it was just cute. He made like he fed her dinner like she didn't

expect it, you know, it was it was just really nice. He took his tie off blind folder. He's like using, you know, elements within the kitchen without having to like go into the bedroom to make it special. That's really sweet. He took off his tie and blindfolded his wife. I always say that like you don the bedroom to make it special. That's really sweet. He took off his tie and blindfolded his wife. I always say that, like, you don't need to buy anything special if you don't want to. You can just use like the old neck tie. Yeah, totally.

And that is true about taking away one sense and feeding her dinner while she's blindfolded. Like enhances the whole face. And you're like, what am I eating? Is it going to be cold? Is it going to be hot? Am I eating not arugula? And something else.

Fun fact, Asparagus has a lot of vitamins and nutrients in it that actually are linked to your arousal and sex hormones. So fun fact, if you're going to make dinner, put us out of asparagus there. Just pea separately. Yeah. Just because that smell. That's what happens. That was a sweet one. I like that. Okay, Madison, you want to pick one of your faves? Yeah, actually, one of my faves was one I'd kind

of forgotten about and then I just repopped up and I liked a lot. I'm not going to read the whole thing, but basically it's from Lauren and she said that her best Valentine's Day was five years ago with her boyfriend. They just started dating and neither of us were really big on celebrating Valentine's Day because they're always been single. And so they, you know, they went to dinner, they had sex, he got her roses, which was cute. But the best part, and I thought this was really sweet. He made her a mix CD. And it was a mix CD of songs that reminded him of her.

And that is really special because a lot of times when you get mixed CDs, it's like, oh, these are songs that I like that like You know, I thought you would like to these are songs that directly reminded him of her and it included was a written list Of every song and the rationale for why he chose it along with the little love note at the bottom They were all songs I knew and loved and they all had meaning for us It was the sweetest and most thoughtful gift I'd ever received and it's something I still listen to. Oh, and spoiler alert, they're still together. So if you're looking for like a last minute thing, that is adorable. And it like touched

my heart. I feel like people don't do that anymore. They're so sweet. They just reminded me. So you know, I've been like, rocking my rain for Valentine's Day. Yeah. Things I remember my boyfriend. And I have to say he was like, you know, they always say you're for I say this, but I believe it's true too. So it probably is. You're, when your first love, like that real love in your early 20s, where do you guys are now?

But I had this, I moved to San Francisco, and I met this guy, we dated for three years, and I still think of all my friends, like, oh, he loved him, like I did. It was like three years we were together. And I remember I had two roommates at the time, so we were in my bedroom. And I think I tried to make dinner

the first and last time I ever made dinner. It was like a stir fry mess it up. But anyway, we were in my bedroom, and I remember like putting on sexy lingerie, and we did it in my room, like made like a picnic, but he made me a photo album, but he was also an artist. So he took all these pictures from dating

and then he drew like little, like poems or little funny quotes from wherever we were. And he still have it. I'll bring it in. He pasted it together and like, you know, this, it was just like his special drawings and photographs. So that was really like one of these special things. And then he also made a, he made me a, oh my God, a ceramic.

He, a sculpture of, it was him, like the thinker, like Siddi got a rock with his heart stuck to the, and it was like his heart was, like you could see through it to his heart that he painted red, like sitting like thinking with his heart and just giving me his heart. I was all art, it was great.

I was gonna say how, that's like, I mean, I was so romantic, he was the most romantic guy. I swear to God I've ever dated. It was really, really sweet. Yeah, I loved him. I know. And I remember like sitting in my room and then I bought laundry for the first time. I remember taking a big hour to get those freaking, those thigh highs on.

Like the gutters. Yeah. The gutters are the hardest part. The heart. They're so, you can't got to clip the things and then the ones in the back and they never, but I remember like just feeling like the first time I did it. And I remember like, I don't remember what I got him. I can't remember.

It was something probably not creative of that way, but yeah, and then we'd great-sac some of the bedroom. I was flying with roommate. That's what you do. And that's like, yeah, and it's so simple, but it's just something that is very specific to your interests and your desires and the relationship you have together.

It's not your average, whatever. It's nice. It doesn't have to be, I mean, depending on your width, but God, you know, it's just really nice to mark those memories, you know, and to have something special like that. It feels good, we all want to feel special. Yeah, and we all want to know where a partner loves us. Exactly, at the end of the day, I was just reading an article that was like, we don't have

to go off on this too long, but it was really cute because it was like the new I love you, and I was like, well, not earth, it was like, the most important words you can say to your partner other than I, like, and it's not I love you. And I was looking at it, it was like, well, not earth. It was like, I have the most important words you can say to your partner other than I, like, and it's not I love you. And I was looking at it, it was like, like, anal please? Like, I don't know what, what are people saying? And I looked at it and it was, I love you because, and it said that once you get to a point in a relationship

where you're like, actually, like, you know each other and you know, like, it's not just about, I love you. It's like why you love someone. And that is the number one thing that I have always said, that like, I don't just want to know that you like love me. I want to know why you love me. And then I've had a lot of like, boyfriends in the past be like,

well, like, you don't know why you're lovable. Like, it's not my job to like, and it's not about that. It's not about validation. It's about being with someone who like sees you. You really like wanting to. Yeah, and like, who like looks at you and is like, this is why I love you.

And like, that's really important. So that's all. I, I really like wanting. Yeah, and like who looks at you and is like, this is why I love you. And like, that's really important. So that's also. I think it is really important because you want to know, yeah, you really do want to know. Like, do you see, do you get me, do you see the beauty in you? Like, I'm an individual. Yeah, like, what makes this love different from then and then they're love that you might have.

Right, exactly. No, I think that's a really important point. Okay, I did not, I couldn't, I kind of picked my favorite. I did not pick my favorite favorite because I liked, you know, of course, typical Emily. I highlighted like 10. So it was very hard for me to choose my favorite you guys, but this, I love this one. Okay, this is from Marcela. Marcela, this was awesome.

I love this one. I wanted to share my best Valentine's Day. In my life, I always have been and loved being spontaneous. My guy at the time I went to do breakfast with some friends. It was winter. I had a cute coat that went down to my knees. I gave him a brief peek of what I was wearing when I picked him up. He was dying. I had thigh high stockings, mini skirt, no panties, and a tight button shirt.

At the restaurant he couldn't stop staring at me. Our friends never knew he and I had a thing. It was a secret relationship. Both of us were single. I told him he couldn't touch me till we got back to his house. Well, as soon as you were getting to the door, he kept trying to touch me. We get inside, he flipped me over his sofa and banged away. We did every position you could think of. Later that same night, he had candles going from me, blindfolded me and gilded ice cube, glided or gilded him. They were going

right. Glided ice cubes over my body, sucked hot chocolate fudge for my breasts. It was all very romantic. It was the best Valentine's ever. Valentine's day ever. With him almost every day was spontaneous. We had crazy sex and crazy places. Memories. That's a good one.

I'm all about it. And what's funny is she did, she actually tweeted you to let you know that she had sent one of them. Oh, that's really. She was like really into it. So. That was hot. I love that one. I still, I have a friend in college who did that.

She went to a guy's house with the long jacket and like it was a Michigan winter. And so it was like literally like 10 below. You can't find your car, like there's snow everywhere. And she like trucked over there like in her tempered limboots and like a long jacket and like nothing was freezing. I think she was drunk.

But like nothing underneath it. And it was like, she was like crazy at the time. But like nothing underneath it. And it was a crazy attempt. Like you went over there on the trench coat, but hot. I know. You guys ever done that? No, I've never done that before. I don't own a trench coat. I think that's my biggest problem.

I need to. That's your biggest problem. I've tried to attempt to do the secret reveal of laundry before, but it was not. Not as graceful. No, it's not it's graceful. No, it's right right exactly. Thigh Highs actually are the solution out to to Gartars because the same thing without the clips.

FYI BTW. Last Valentine's Day I tried to put on Laundry and do the sexy surprise thing and he was in the other room and had no idea that I was in there like with candles on like waiting and finally I was like hello like are you going to make your way in here any Time soon just like sitting there with like I was gonna Yeah, I was finally like all right you better get in here like it's time for this and like candles everywhere

But eventually showed up that's good. Okay, thank you. These were awesome I think I wonder if we could put post these as a blog on the website. Yeah, I think we're actually going to. They, why now they will probably be there. I didn't even read all of them. Like, one of them I was getting super turned on. We're going to post them all on the websites or check them out at Sex with Emily.

Happy Valentine's Day. We'll be right back. Right now, click Shout Out to our sponsors. Thank you for supporting them. We love them. I hope you do too. We'll be right back. We'll be right back.

We'll be right back. Okay, now we're on to emails. If you have a question, you want me to answer on the show, just email me. You can go to section of the Elmmy.com, click on Ask Emily Tab, fill out the form, hit submit, that's it. You can also check the box that you want to be called. You can also, and we'll set up a call for you, and we'll talk to you on the show. You can also leave a voicemail, 818, ask SWE1. As always, include information, your gender age, where you live, and how you listen to this show. I'll see your social security number

and your bank routing number. Exactly. Thanks. Just less for this, social school. Keeps the show free. Exactly. Your mother's main name. Login to Uber.

That'd be awesome, right? Close week to meet coffee. Okay. Uh, Florida Mads, you wanted to coffee for the show, didn't happen. I had the cutest postmates guide dropped me off dinner last night. Oh my god. Not only that, I didn't even know it was cute before it showed up, but it was like, postmates, it's a delivery service that's here.

I think it's in San Francisco, it's not everywhere. It's in major cities. Right. So in a state you live in, the major city, I suppose. It's kind of like the, what's the one in every city? It's better than you 24. It's like, there's like door, there's like door, there's like door, there's like door,

there's a bunch of different ones. Yeah, every city, or what's the one that we use? It's 24 and GrubHub. You GrubHub, okay. So this is like, because I was in San Francisco and actually passed their office. Oh yeah. They're based there, I think,

but they're none of my friends in Newspaper yet. Here's the point. We like postmates, it's easy. I don't know, these are friendly, but I ordered from, what's the vegan place I can't do the last like, this is my memory. I can't do the vegan place. Real pain daily?

Yes. Oh my god, I order from them from postmates all the time. I did not know they were on postmates. So I love, and it's so plentiful. That's great. This is what I was eating for lunch. Okay, so anyway, typically when they say they let you know when they're coming, the app, it's like between 45 and 55 minutes, then you order and it tells you exactly like it will be here at 907.

And that's typically correct. However, I get a text from him, he's like, hey, Emily, your food's going to be here in 10 minutes. It was like 20 minutes early. I already loved him. And then he shows up. He's like, your food's hot. And you're a freaking hot. You're so hot. Would you like to come in? What did I say to him? I think I said, I'm so happy to see you. I am my food. I think I wasn't mean to make it sexual,

but the way I said it was, I'm so glad you're here. I mean, of course, with the food. Something like that. I didn't do anything inappropriate. Coastal eats porn. I did give him 20% tip. There you go. Which was generous.

And that's the other thing you can tip on the app. Yeah, it's so convenient. Here's the point, you're doing it so you don't have to deal with the cash a lot of these apps. Every app should allow you to tip on the app. Okay, but let's get to emails. Hi, Emily, thanks so much for your podcast. I was wondering if it would be weird to call a guy daddy in the bedroom. I've never done it before, but I think it would sound great. Would it be a good idea to ask him before I do this? I'm not sure how weird that would be if weird at all. Thanks for your help all the time. Love you Marie age 24. I thought this was a great question. I don't remember getting again. I don't always remember everything that thousands of questions over the years, but I think this is a great one because I'm glad that Marie, they're asking me first because it can be a

Very triggering word for men and women. Yes, like a guy could say hey, who's your daddy? And she's like what like Incess what are you thinking and for guys? They're like, you know, what could this mean like it could mean that you know You've got daddy issues guys love jumping on the daddy issues things, okay Pat names as we know they are common in the bedroom And I understand why daddy might sound cool. And also it's kind of like 70s porn, like boogie nights, I'm like who's your daddy, who's your daddy? Like, it's a thing. It's a huge porn thing. I think more than anything else. Right. It could also be in terms of like I said as women having daddy issues. In your case, I'm going to assume Marie that it's more of like, because here's how it's also looked at, you could see like, oh, it's, you know,

some daddy thing, but typically it's not. It's more like, you're the protector, you're the dominant one, like kind of like, you're the boss. You're the boss, right? Who's the boss? But it can also make, you know, a guy feel like a perpetrator.

Yeah. But again, that I don't think that's the case. And I do think it could freak him out or turn him on. So I'd say tread lightly and kind of play with 30 talk. So I'm thinking like, you know, see how it goes. Just be like, I don't know how would you say like, you're my daddy's, thank me daddy. I've been a good girl daddy.

Yeah, like, maybe it's like when you're about to have sex. Like when it's like getting, like getting to that point and you're just like, oh yeah, like, am I a naughty girl? Yeah. You kind of like refer to yourself as like a naughty girl and he's like into it, then you could be like, oh, like, you know, like, okay, daddy, like, that would be a good suggestion. Yeah. Because it's, that might also make it clear to him that you're not having daddy issues,

you're like being sexy. Right. We're asking for like to, if you can get like an increase in your lungs. Yeah, it's okay. Oh, no, that'd be wrong. You're like, okay, yeah, you're like, should I take off my socks, daddy? can get like an increase in your lungs. Yeah, it's okay. Oh, no, that'd be wrong. You're like, okay Yeah, you're like should I take off my socks daddy? Like what? Exactly. What I didn't write. What do you think Jamie? Yeah, and I think it's just like you can just like

Pro like prod it a little bit like not maybe go right for it Also, like if you're not if you're already dirty talking then maybe you can kind of just go right for it Because at least he knows you like to talk dirty But if you're like not really dirty talking at all you definitely want to like work into that I think play out for yeah, I think so too not not but I wouldn't say that with all dirty talk But I think daddy can be daddy. Yeah, just because of the fact that it could like it really is hit her It's like some guys are me super into it some guys would be like oh Okay, weird, you know, just like the same way that like a faggot where to like I

Guess it doesn't just like the same way that like a faggot I were to like, I guess it doesn't really work the same way. If I said, if I called my mom, I would be like, mm, bye. But what if a guy said to you like, you know, I'm your, what, yeah, I'm your dad, you're like, don't upset daddy or you want to get daddy a blowjob? Oh my God.

If they said you want to get daddy a blowjob, and it was a blast. And yeah, I would be like, yeah, suck daddy's dick. I'd be like, goodbye. Right. So, completely on this one, I think. I mean, I also think that you could also wait till you're with a guy that you really trust

and kind of talk about it first. Like talk about dirty talk or like just do it and then talk, but then you might feel safer, get less rejection. We all want to feel safe. What, and there was a movie or a TV show or something. I forgot what it was where a girl called, like a woman called a guy daddy, but he was like older and he had gray hair and he like took it like totally the wrong way.

And it was like because he was actually like a father age that he like freaked out about it. So maybe like, if there's a huge age gap, proceed. Exactly, exactly. Like if it could actually be your daddy, like don't jump into it. Exactly, like 30-year-age difference. Yeah, I did find a study actually from forktip.com

that found that the hottest thing for women, like the women say the hottest thing for their partners to say in bed is to call them daddy. So maybe we just like to be told. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, say that again, guys. It was things women like their partners to say to them during sex makes me call him daddy.

I think it's more of like a dumb, maybe it's like a BDS, I'm saying dumb. Yeah, but like if a guy's like call me daddy, I've never had a guy do that. I would not, that would be so not down for that. I'm gonna be like, what? I'd immediately snap in a daughter mode. No, don't tell me what to do.

And I do have daddy issues, but that's what I still don't think. No, yeah, to me. I mean, I totally don't judge you. you like like that. It's not for me Especially if a guy like and I would like it more I like it more when it's like your idea to say it then when a guy like Tells you just tells you to say it just because it's like I'm like okay like Call me, you know like Bobo the clown like it's just weird like I don't know

That's why you guys seriously. There's no no judgment the clown, it's just weird. I don't know. I can't tell me what to do. But again, I'm asking from the side. So that's why you guys seriously, there's no judgment. There's no right or wrong here. You just got to figure out, tread lightly. If you don't feel safe with somebody, but, you know, okay, try it out. I think we're the least. I know a lot of my friends say,

dad and bed, and they're super into it. And it's like a thing that they do. So, and they're like, I say, they're more sexually empowered than I will ever be, so I think that maybe I'm on the slow on the uptake. Which is weird in the three of us usually think they'd be like, why don't I know? Right. That's a red line of us would like daddy.

Maybe it's one out of every four, so we just need another one. I know. I'm gonna check to be here. Ques Michael or something. I never talked about sex, Michael. He's like, don't talk. Oh, he just said, okay.

Okay, Michael, we want to ask you. So we are getting you Lou Perveil next day. So weird question to put him on the spot. I never asked anything. Just wait, Michael. Just wait. You'll have a mic there next week. Okay.

Hey, Emily, okay, I recently listened to the last show live. Did we do a live show? Did I remember? I mean, he listened to it like when it aired. Oh, when it came out probably. Because you know, let's say this is your first time listening. Hi, welcome, we love you. We release shows on two days and four days.

Okay, and it reminded me that I can write in. Yeah, please do. I'm 22, I've been having sex for about six years now, pretty regularly, at least five times a week for six years. There you go. I've dated most of the same types of girls, but I started seeing a girl recently who's very open with me about her masturbation tendencies and so forth.

Usually I've never had a problem with it in other girls because they never actually directly told me. However, I've been having a hard time not feeling weird about the amount she masturbates. Like the other day, she stayed the night in my house and we had sex that night and the next morning, then I had to go to work and then when I got home, she told me that she had masturbated. Ta-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da experienced than her. So, and I'm not worried about performing, so I'm not sure where the negative feeling is coming from. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated.

Thanks, Jay Vaskquez. Oh my God. Jay, I love you. We are, I'm telling you, I love this at so many levels because, listen, how many times have we gotten the same question reverse woman? Every time.

Like literally, feedback, it's like that we get hundreds of emails a day. You're the first guy I can remember. And not probably, Jay, let me say this. You are representing so many men here because you're not the first guys felt this way. You might be the first guys email you out, email me about this. It means that you're very in touch with your sensitivities, your emotions. But again, a lot of women emails like I'm so confused, like sex is great.

Why does my guy have to watch porn and masturbate? So this is from the male perspective. And so thank you, Jay, for first setting in this question. Okay, I understand that masturbation habits are confusing to our partners across the board. You know, again, like a lot of women are like, why does he masturbate, why does he watch porn? And we've covered that so much on the show.

So Jay, you're calling this like a weird feeling. And again, because I think if I can, Jay, just guess here, you're probably thinking like, I'm a stallion and bad. We had great sex all the time. I'm worked. Why the hell does she need to bob her baloney? What do they call it? Say the taco Tuesday.

What do they call it? Flip in the taco. There's a taco on. It's like the bean. I don't know if there's a taco on it. There is what it probably is. I just remember, okay, whatever, it doesn't matter. You're wondering why she, it's not Bob the Vellone.

I don't think so. We'll talk about it later. There's euphemisms for, it's the bean. Here's a thing. I understand why that's confusing. But here's the thing, we masturbate before during after we have partners. It is a healthy part of life.

It's like saying that you stopped going to the gym when you had a relationship or you stopped eating or go to the movies. It just means that you're saying she's not like the other girls you've dated. It's because she's really comfortable with her sexuality. And she likes sex, she likes masturbation. She's not afraid to tell you about it.

She's not afraid you're gonna judge her. And I'm assuming if I was her, but she was probably thought you might get turned on by the fact that you masturbated in her bed. Because from my experience, when I've shared that information, it's like the hottest thing. Guys are like, wow, you did in my bed, that's hot.

Tell me about the last time you masturbated. So I think this is just like new to you, because you're out there, Jay, you've got a lot of women, it sounds like you're having a good time and you just maybe need a little more information here in female masturbation habits. Yeah, totally. And besides, I mean, to Emily's point, like, maybe she thought that by sharing that information, like, you guys would have sex.

She, I mean, just because she masturbated a few hours ago, did not mean that she was not down for it again. And like, masturbation doesn't replace sex in any way. It's almost completely separate sometimes. It's so separate. Yeah. It's an aunt's experience. I think it is really separate because Yeah. It's an aunt's experience. I think it is really separate because I don't think I, there's probably rare people that are like, oh no, it's okay. I masturbated today. I'm good things. I don't need to have sex. Yeah.

Who's nobody's saying that? Nobody says that. If you're, if you're masturbating, you're like, oh, yeah, I'm already actually kind of revved up. I already remember what my last orgasm felt like it can shoot me to the next one. Exactly. And I think a lot of times when you are having really great sex, you tend to masturbate more. Yeah. I know what you mean.

You're never excited. Yeah, I get a sex top of mind. So I think that, you know, it's not the lack of sex that drives to masturbate. It's like the abundance of amazing sex. You guys just thinking about how high you were last night, you went to work. She didn't have to. She's lying in bed. It's a compliment. It's like, oh, no, she's gonna do.

It's like, you should take this as a compliment, Jay. It's like one step below her leaving a chocolate mint on your pillow. Right. My... The better. Job will done. Maybe. I think it's better, Jay. But if you have any, I mean, I hope this, this explained it to you. Yeah.

Faithfully. Yeah, I mean, bottom line. Like, it's, it's all normal and she's not... Nothing that you're doing is causing this and it doesn't mean that there's anything wrong with you or your relationship or anything like that. Like it's all good. It's all good, Jay. This is good. So yeah, has nothing to do with you.

And I never say that we're feeling fine, but you're all good. Yeah. OK. God, I love ghosting questions. This is about ghosting. OK, hey, Emily, I'm newly single after a four-year relationship. And I do not understand how to date. I recently sat with a guy after three dates, and the sex was terrible. and you only single after a four year relationship and I do not understand how to date.

I recently suffered a guy after three dates and the sex was terrible, like irreparable. I tried to guide him, I tried to gently tell him how I like to be touched, but he was completely unresponsive. How do I get out of going out with him again without being a jerk? I don't want to ghost him, but I also just broke my ex's heart. I don't want to be collecting jars filled with boys tears forever.

That was so poetic. Thanks Sarah. Love Sarah. Sarah. I love that saying. I know. God, I've got like waterfalls of men's tears. I think it's like a water cooler. I was gonna say a water. Yeah. I was gonna say a damn gonna say a water coat. Yeah, I was gonna say a damn. Uh oh. Damned up men's tears, but anyway, it doesn't matter. I'm not anymore. A man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn.

You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn.

You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn.

You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made a man made damn. You're a man made damn. You're a man made a damn. You're a man made damn. had this debate, I was out with some guy friends and they were saying he was talking about he's like, I had a date last night, I'm the guy with the girl, I didn't like her. I'm like, you know, college, he looked at me like, I was a marshal, he's like, no, I'm gonna call her.

Like, why don't I say anything? And I said, well, I mean, it was one date. I get it. But I said, but a friend of a friend fixed him up. I'm like, well, okay, Brad, let's, so I said to him, okay, how if you were out with the girl, would you, and you liked it? Let's say it was reverse, you and I with the girl, you thought you had a great dinner because this girl thought that it was a great time.

She was like, Oh, I can't wait to hear from you. I'm like, well, that's to it again. And he was like, yeah. And then he's like, peace out about it. He's like, he goes to before he, like, valet showed up with his car. So I'm saying, so I'm thinking like, okay, but how would you feel if you had a great date with a girl? And she was like, yeah, that's fine.

We'll talk. And then you texting her and you're back. He's like, yeah, I just, that's what it is. It would go. I'm like, well, he's like, it would be fine And then you text and you're in here back, he's like, yeah, I just, that's what it is. It would go. I'm like, well, he's like, it would be fine. I'm like, or would you rather have her say to you right there? Because typically we know, like, you know what? You said to her, let's say, I'll call my friend Bob, let's say Bob said to her, you know what? I love to see you again. And she was like, yeah, and then, you know, he texts, whatever, he texted, she didn't get back.

And let's say she said, don't you know what, Bob? I actually think this was great, but I don't really feel like a connection in that way, but you're awesome and it was so nice meeting you. And like, let him know right there in the moment. He's like, I don't wanna hear that. I said, well, what's worse? So this little, another level, this is like you slept together.

You went in three dates, and then just a ghost just seems a lot more intense to me. But I just think like I feel like I feel like to say like I think she should be in touch with him and just say I wasn't feeling it but then he's gonna forever feel insecure about his abilities sexually. I think that what oh sorry go ahead. No but then he's gonna feel that anyway if you don't respond he's already gonna assume that. So I think that what oh, oh, sorry go ahead. No, but then you can feel that anyway if you don't respond He's already gonna assume that yeah, so I think that saying I don't know maybe because I've never had anyone say this to me That I can remember but what's wrong with saying the chemistry isn't there like if you're like, you know I had a really great time like I think that you're awesome and like we have great dates like and everything like that

I just don't think that that like romantic chemistry is there you say romance he's out of there So like the second you say it, he's like, oh, okay, and he'll be like, can we have sex again? You can be like, no. And then that's it. You're done. I don't feel like chemistry. I don't feel a connection to your romantic connection.

I don't feel the intimacy, whatever you want to say. I think that that's harder for more girls to hear from a guy, because I feel like girls want to feel special more than guys do usually. And so if a guy were to say that to a girl, like, oh, the chemistry is just not there, she'd be like, I'm bad. I'm on go. Okay. My vagina, I do.

Totally. That his house on fire. But then, so then, girls, I feel like because they think a lot with their emotions, so they think a guy might also react that way. So that's why they don't want to say that. But I think it's better. Guys are usually better. I don't know what. I feel like it would be better for you

to be like, hey, like I just- How would you say it then if you were, if you were, like, well for me, like, okay, Jamie, what would it take? Jamie dates like a guy. I would say, no, Jamie, so this would be a text. I'm assuming Sarah's not gonna call him because you guys don't call.

You will, like, yeah. No, that would, I don't know how old she is. Did she say, I will, she is? No, but, okay. So I'm just gonna say, I have a words of millennial. Now just kidding, for this case, what would you say, Jamie, and then I'll see what I would. I mean, like if he were to actually like text me

and ask me out and I really didn't want to go, I would just be like, hey, you know what? Like instead of wasting both of our times, like I did have fun, but you're, it's just, I would say the same thing. I'll be like, I just don't really feel it. I don't really see it. I don't really see this developing into something.

Like, yeah, that's all good stuff. If, like, but also too, if the guy never hits you up after that day and you don't feel the need to text him, then I think it's okay to just let that teeter off that way. Exactly. Let him go. Yeah, let him go. Yeah, exactly.

But then you might like him, you know? I just like you until you didn't like me. And then, you know what I'm saying? Like, when he liked me, I'm a delight. I'm a delight. I thought I was like the word, I remember being on the, like this day I hate it. I was a joke with my friends I by the day it I'm a delight. I'm like, I'm like, the word, I remember being on the, like, this day I hate it. I was a joke when my friends had bad day it was.

And then like a week later, I'm like, I can't believe it. It called me, like how dare he decided it like me and I didn't like him. It was, it was very, it was funny. It was a moment, our e-close, you know? But I think the same thing. I would probably say, oh, what I've said in the past is, too.

It's not so bad to say. And this is actually true, but like, I'm not really looking for right now. I'm just taking time, just dating dating or I'm super busy with work. Yeah, I try to use the busy thing all the time. I know, but I truly for so long. And so it was just like busy. I'm like, yeah, that was fun.

Things are crazy. It's really nice meeting you. I'm not looking at a lot of time for a relationship right now. Yeah, totally. Right? You don't have to say it. Yeah, but it's also the chemistry thing is. That's very sorry.

But yeah, I mean like if you are busy There's no shame in using that as your excuse because it's true I mean you could make time if you really wanted to but they don't need to know that I think this is yeah exactly I think this is an interesting debate like what would you guys like to hear? Think about it like I want to know for this why we asked you know I was like three guy friends. I was like would you rather here? There's no chemistry or just like a girl might say, and I've done this in my past,

like, oh, I'm getting back, you're all right, I have a boyfriend, I'm dating someone else. Would you rather hear that, that they're getting someone else or would you rather hear that she didn't, like feel a connection with you guys? I honestly think that I would rather have someone say, like, I don't think that it's there, or like, I don't like, I don't see us

like moving to that place. You'd rather have the truth. Well, not only that, it's like if they were like, I don't like, I don't see us like moving to that place. You bet I got the truth. Well, not only that, it's like if they were like, just because, because of the way my brain works, I'm so neurotic, if they were like, well, I'm dating someone else, I'd be like, well, were they dating at the same time as me? Like, was I just someone they were using

to make them feel jealous? Like, who am I as a person to you now with this having happened? I would rather just, them just be like, you know what? Like, it's not there. It's not there. I think right, honestly, is the best policy. I never feel good when it, when I don't, like, I'm dating, like, it's not there. I think right, honesty is the best policy. I never feel good when I don't, like,

I'm dating someone and they'll see him again. Or I, yeah, that's not good. That wouldn't work for me either. Because I wouldn't care. I'd be like, oh, is that an issue? Are you exclusively dating this other person? Because that's just how I look at it. But you're like, so what?

Bring her with me. I want to taste her taco. No. No. Bring her with you on the next day. No, but it's just like that. It's just backfire. People are too afraid to be completely honest and hurt other people's feelings.

It's like you don't understand like how much more you're going to hurt their feelings when they find out what you said isn't true because honesty. It's true. Like true find the way of coming out regardless. You're so friggin' right, Jamie. It's called Snapchat. Okay. Okay.

So you guys don't do another? we're done, we're good. Yeah, you guys, it was awesome. It was so much fun. Thank you for spending Valentine's Day with me. You guys, and everyone listening to show, I love you all. Thank you Madison and Jamie, any parting words? Yeah, I know, just like go home and masturbate.

Yeah, so you guys seriously, it's a day of love and just remember masturbation, don't knock it, it's sex with so many love. That's true. That's you baby. Okay, thank you Michael. You can answer this question later. And thank you everyone for listening.

I love you all and check me out. All the places, Snapchat, Instagram, all that, outsec with Emily. And thanks so much for listening. Was it good for you? Email me. Feedback at sexwithemily.com. you