Sex With Emily - Why Antidepressants Can Kill Your Sex Drive (And What to Do)

Episode Date: August 29, 2025

EVERYONE who signs up wins a FREE WhisperVibe™ OR a FREE Rose toy with any Whisper™ order! ⁠https://www.bboutique.co/vibe/emilymorse-podcast⁠ Join the SmartSX Membership : ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/smartsx⁠ Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. List & Other Sex With Emily Guides: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/guides/⁠ Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. SHOP WITH EMILY!: ⁠https://bit.ly/3rNSNcZ ⁠(free shipping on orders over $99) Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website: ⁠https://sexwithemily.com/ In this powerful episode of Sex with Emily, Dr. Emily tackles one of the biggest barriers to great sex: fear. From fear of rejection to body image anxieties, this episode explores how our sexual fears hold us back and provides practical strategies for overcoming them. Dr. Emily opens with the fundamental truth that fear is often "false evidence appearing real" - we create rules around what we're afraid of and then live by them, preventing ourselves from having the sex we truly want and deserve. Throughout the episode, Dr. Emily addresses common sexual fears from farting during sex to penis size anxieties to performance worries, emphasizing that we're all perfectionists when it comes to sex despite reality being much messier and more human. The episode concludes with the empowering message that facing our fears is the path to becoming our own best sexual advocate. When we ask for what we want authentically, we either get our needs met or gain valuable information about compatibility, because we all deserve pleasure and shouldn't put ourselves last in our own sexual lives. Timestamps:0:00 - Introduction 0:23 - How Antidepressants Affect Your Sex Life 1:15 - Female Sexuality and Cultural Double Standards2:30 - Wetness Myths: Arousal vs. Lubrication Explained 6:26 - When You're "Too Wet" - Solutions and Normalizing 8:17 - Understanding Arousal Beyond Physical Signs 9:06 - Kegel Exercises for Better Orgasms 13:15 - Caller April: Relationship Stress Killing Sex Drive 17:00 - Communication Red Flags in Relationships22 23:40 - Prozac and Orgasm Difficulties 26:31 - Switching from Lexapro to Wellbutrin Success Story 28:40 - Why Medication Doses Differ for Women

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want to tell you that you're so not alone with this. It's like, you know, I don't know if you went out for depression or anxiety. You're like, I'm too depressed or anxious to have sex. And then you feel like having sex and then you are feeling happier, but then you have sex and you can't have an orgasm or you just don't, your libido has been impacted. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Today, we're talking about how antidepressants affect your sex life. These medications can be life-saving for depression and anxiety, but they often come with side effects like lower libido,

trouble with arousal, or difficulty-reaching orgasm. In this episode, I'll break down why it happens, what you can do about it, and share real listener stories, from losing orgasm on Prozac to finding hope with Wellbutrin. And we'll also look at cultural myths around desire, including what Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion's Wap reveals about the double standards in female sexuality. So whether you're on medication,

in a relationship, just curious about the link between mental health and sex, this conversation will give you clarity, solutions, and permission to reclaim your pleasure. All right, let's dive in. And WAP, let me just say, it's an acronym for like a well-lubricated vagina, vulva. Well, actually vagina, because internally, but the vulva can be lubricated as well. It can have some wetness. And it is an overt display of female sexuality. But how long have we been listening to men rap about and talk about

and sing about female sexuality and their penis doing certain things, right? We hear it all the time, but to see a woman, I found it empowering. There are parts of it, though, that I would like to discuss because I think it brings up a lot of things about wetness and female sexuality and arousal and desire. I like the song, I got to say it.

I mean, you know, and I do see it as a celebration of female sexuality in many ways. So essentially, she's talking about the fact Cardi B, you know, and just in that part we just heard, she's talking about, what does she say here? I don't even like the word pussy,

so I never really say it. I really don't. I don't know why. You know me. I say vagina. I say vulva. I say penis. My first thing is that the controversy first came up

because they're talking about how, if it's wet, that's a problem and wouldn't celebrate it. And I thought, well, I would just want to talk about this part of it because some people think it's shaming or something is wrong with it. The first point I want to make

It's just technically as a sex doctor that vaginal lubrication is awesome and necessary. However, you can be aroused and turned on and not be that wet. You can also be really wet and not turned on. And so my only concern is that it could perpetuate this myth that this notion that women should always be really wet and really turned on every time and ready to go. And then now if we're not, that's a problem. Now, I understand that it's from their perspective and celebrating their sexuality, which again, I think we need more videos and more women and more songs and more things that are celebrating women, loving their own bodies and celebrating female sexuality because there's been so much that is sort of against it, right? I mean, if you think about like Adam and Eve, it was all about Eve being the tempterist and it was Eve's fault, right, that Adam bit into the apple.

And so there has been, you know, centuries, you know, of repression of female sexuality and female desire. So whenever I see women celebrating it, it's amazing, right? but not every woman does. So I said it to my mother before the show. I was like, I just want to know what you think. She goes, I'm too old for this. I think it's like 40 years too old for it. But I know she, like, Kylie Jenner makes a appearance,

which that was the first thing. Everyone was talking about, like, why is Kylie, you know, Kylie Jenner in it? But it really blew up when Ben Shapiro, you know, conservative talking head, he tweeted that his wife, who's a doctor, told him that if a vagina is wet, it requires a bucket and a mop. and that maybe it's about a sexually transmitted infection. So I'm not saying the song is about that at all. But I do think that it points this thing

that women's sexuality has been a threat to men in so many ways that a woman being, you know, standing up and celebrating her sexuality and that a lot of our power has been, you know, men are sort of the arbiters of a healthy sex and men are the ones who sort of control female sexuality. So I like the celebration of that. And that what I also like is that it's women that they're sort of saying, yeah, you know, great, we own it because so many times when women have done that, especially when I was like in my 20s, if women, if I talked about the men I slept with and what I did, I was called a slutty, or, you know, you women always talk about it. I want to keep my numbers down.

I don't want people to know how many people I've slept with because it's somehow virginal, which is all just kind of silly to me because I feel like women, I find it obviously, it's my job. but I talk to everybody, women and men, obviously. And I'm very open and not judging anybody. But what I'm saying is when I do see women saying it's okay, I'm going to own my body, I'm going to own my pleasure, I'm going to talk about my orgasm, I'm going to ask for it. I wanted it. I wanted this sex.

I'm going to take it. This is what I need. To me, that is a celebration, however it's done. But not everyone ever agrees on music. We don't agree on lyrics. We don't all even agree on pop culture or any of it. But I like it when I see women celebrating and owning it.

So that's how I feel about it. I mean, and there's so many examples of men. Megan, our call screener said, if men can rap slob and my knob, we can rap about the wop. I mean, it has been normalized in pop culture for a long time. So I did want to take it back to the wetness level here.

What does it mean? Because I do, this is my thing. Because when I thought, I was like, okay, I can talk about it in the show. We don't usually cover all the stuff that's going on in the news, but when it relates to sex, I will. And so my thing is, you know, I want you to understand that it's important for your vagina to be well lubricated for sex.

And that's why I'm a huge fan of lube, and I want there to be a lube on every nightstand because you can't control how wet we get. It changes certain times a month. It can change hormonally, certain medications. And if women aren't wet enough, then there's like tears and dryness and you can get infections. It is not pretty. So I just want women to be able to monitor now when you can get too wet. So Kendra asks on my team, what do you do when you're too wet? And that happens for women as well.

They're like, I am just too wet. And now there's too much wetness and that can happen too. This is the stuff that I want to normalize here on the show. I want to normalize all of it and say, yeah, you can get too wet. So that can happen. Usually you're not too wet the whole time, but what I would suggest is you just kind of get off and you can wear a, put a towel down. you know, you can sort of wipe up and then go back at it.

But there's not really anything you can do if you get too wet, except for maybe kind of, if it's causing a problem, then you can kind of pull back and do something else sexually. There is a gynecologist who's been on the show a lot, Dr. Carolyn Dulce out of New York, and she says that women can take, I believe it's like an antihistamine because it's the same thing. If it's really like a problem and it can help dry you out,

That was the only thing I heard that was like a medical. But I don't like to, you know, recommend that people, you know, are taking certain drugs for certain things that they're not meant for. But that is what I heard. Otherwise, I just think you stop for a minute, you throw a towel down, you go to the bathroom, you wipe off and you go. Because usually if you're, you know, the other thing about weddings, though, I just want to say, is that it is not only an indicator of you being aroused or turned on.

And that the reason why we have this notion is because we're saying, was she wet? Are you wet? And I remember like having sex with guys and they was like, oh, you're wet. Are you going to be wet enough? And you're like, oh, I'm so wet. Like, that's something that we say. Because women's sexuality is always compared to men who have this sort of spontaneous arousal, right? Like you know if your partners turn on because there's an erection. And then women, it's another way that we're like, oh, I'm not turned on enough. I'm not wet enough. But all I want to say is that is not the way that you measure your arousal. And there's so many other ways to be aroused and to be turned on.

so another question here from Amanda what if it's poor timing or it's not a sexual situation like when you're on a run yeah that can happen too when you get too wet you guys ever have the sneeze and pee or running and pee that happens a lot and what that means when that happens for women is that usually it is a pelvic floor thing it means that there's a weakness in the pelvic floor for a lot of women they experience after childbirth and this is why you're keeping your pelvic floor strong and doing your caggle exercises is so important for women, really women at any age. And so when that happens, you really just, I mean, honestly, do your cagles. And Cardi B does say in the song, I do a cagull when he's in me, I squeeze a cagull. And that is true for some women when you, like here's the thing about your pelvic floor muscles, is that your pelvic floor muscles, your cagulls, doing a cagull muscle. It's that it's when you are using those muscles where you stop and start the flow of urine. That's what it is.

Like if someone's knocking on the door in the bathroom and you're like, I got to stop. It's that muscle. And so if you exercise those, like you tense and you relax, you know, for three, hold for three, release for three seconds or five seconds. And you do that for a few minutes a day. That actually will make a huge difference in just a few weeks. Because for women, like after childbirth, or when you just get older, if you don't have kids, you start to have sneeze and pee, you start to run and pee.

The other amazing thing I want to talk about, oh, this is good that we're on kegles is there's this awesome product called YARLAP, and it's YAR-L-A-R-L-A-P, and so many of you have loved this, so I'm bringing it up again, and it is a product that women can use, and you put it inside of you, and it actually does your kegles for you, because a lot of us don't do them correctly, and so you can just lie back and put it inside you, and it uses its electro-stimulation that it doesn't, you can't really feel it, it's not painful, it's just inside of you, and it's actually stimulating those muscles. it gets the blood flowing it and builds those muscles

so you won't have the urinary incontinence, as we call it. Sneeze and peas easier. But it's called urinary incontinence. That is the medical term for it. Also, the thing about doing your cagels and strengthening them is that it helps you have stronger orgasms. Because if you think they're the muscles that are responsible for orgasm,

thinking of that, like, we have so much pressure is women to feel like that something's wrong with us if we're not turned on and always ready for sex that we are somehow, I mean, honestly, there's some ways that we feel broken because we are compared. And again, this is not, I don't, I literally think that people don't know this because it's always been this way that we compare like penetrative sex. Like we are told that sex is all about penis going into vagina. And that's the ultimate when only 70% of, only 30% of women are going to have an orgasm that way. They're actually not going to have their most pleasure from that,

but that's how we compare it. Because I think that we feel if we're not having pleasurable or satisfying sex in some way, it's because we are not that there's something, you know, wrong with that, so that we're broken. We're like, oh, well, my partner's turned on, and I'm not turned on yet. And then we put this, do you guys do this?

I do that. You put this pressure on yourself. And so then we put pressure on ourselves before it even starts that we're not. turned on yet or we weren't like we're distracted or we're stressed or something else has been going on and to understand to give women the permission that when we want to get aroused or turned on that it's a process and that for a lot of women it can take anywhere from like 15 minutes to an hour to be ready to be like okay I'm ready I am mentally aroused I am physically aroused I've done

all the things I need to do to be ready for it and sometimes we've got to prepare for it on our own and that there's just more to think about when you think about the complexity of female desire and arousal and that it just can take a while. And then we start to think that we have a low libido and that we're never in the mood for sex or we're somehow broken because we don't understand the process

and this is for women of all ages that actually to be there and be ready for sex is a process for every single woman to figure out what that looks like. It might be watching porn. It might be sending sexy text throughout the day to our partners and be thinking about the sex happening. Like we need the premeditated, you know, sex. We need to know sometimes that it's happening. We need to build towards it. And there's no information about this for women. All right, I'm going to take a quick break. There'll be more sex with Emily. Thanks to everyone for supporting our sponsors. You know, we only work with sponsors that we

enjoy ourselves. And I hope you do too. Let's talk about something most people don't think about until there's a problem. That is a blood flow. Because whether you have a penis or a vulva, healthy circulation is the foundation of arousal, sensation, and pleasure. And over time, things like stress or aging or health conditions can slow that flow down. And you know what happens? It affects your performance, your sensitivity, and your confidence. That's why I am obsessed with Gaines Wave.

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network of trained providers who guide you every step of the way. No shame, no scare tactics, just science-backed, feel good care. So stop with the band-aids, treat the root cause. Reclaim your pleasure today with Gaineswave. Find a provider at Gaineswave.com. That's G-A-I-S-A-I-S-E. N-S-W-A-V-E.com, Gaineswave.com. Let's talk to April 39 in California. Hi, April. What's going on? Hi.

Hi. Well, I would just say, I guess, that my boyfriend I've just kind of had a lot of bigger issues to try and work through, like, wanting to move to a new place and just working on a relationship. and I find that I'm just not as into sex lately and I normally am really into it but I'm just kind of mad and frustrated with him and so like the emotional parts getting in the way

and I just kind of wondering if there's a way to, you know, figure it all out. Yeah, well, this is what happens. Yeah, no, but April, this is the thing that we have to honor that it's all normal, right? I was like, am I normal? Am I normal? Is it okay, yes.

The thing that's the most constant about sex, the most normal thing about our sex drive and our sex life is that it fluctuates over time that sometimes we're in the mood, sometimes we're not in the mood, we go through periods where we're feeling very sexual and then long periods where we're not. And also emotionally, if you're having challenges with your boyfriend right now, then that would make sense that, you know, when our brain isn't on board, it's hard for our body to follow. I mean, your question is, how do I get back on board with sex? And I can tell you that. But also, what's going to, do you think you want to be in this relationship what's happening i mean i definitely want to be in it and i hope that we can work

through stuff because it's not like um you know the worst issues compared to say some of my girlfriends but um right i just feel like uh he's not addressing any of the things that are kind of big big issues for me and so that's just making me kind of resentful and um you know i keep telling them we need to spend more time talking about things and like trying to figure it out but he's just not good at communicating. And I don't know what to do. I just feel flustered and... Yeah, well, I hear you.

Well, resentment's a big thing. So if you talk about why you're not in the mood, it's because you're have resentments right now. And let me just tell you this. I'm going to give it to you straight. If right now he's not considering things that are important to you and doesn't want to talk about it, how long have you guys been together?

Two years. Okay. So let me just tell you this. There's not going to be a time where he all of a sudden decides that he wants to spend a lot more time talking about your issues that's not going to happen so just know that that people don't change much i don't think that all of a sudden is going to be like you know april i want you to tell me now like let's just take this night and dedicate it to what is going on with you because i'm here for you

you're not going to get that right but you might get something else you might get part of that just know that this i just these shifts don't usually happen the way we expect it because it's been two years if you were like two months i'm like okay you're still going to know each other but two years you know what are the big issues that he doesn't want to talk about right now um i would say kind of a few things so one i want to talk about our our sex life more because it hasn't been as great as it was the last couple months um okay i just want to kind of talk more about our relationship and where it's going and where we're going and like goals in life and i just kind of feel like he might be a little bit stuck, and so I have to decide how I feel about that.

Yeah. And, you know, I want to move into a different place, and we're in a really seasonal climate, so we don't have a lot of windows to, like, do that kind of stuff. And he has a pet that just drives me crazy, and he won't do any training or, like, resolve any issues there, and, you know, I'm just not down with cleaning up messes all the time and dealing with bad behavior all the time, and it's just, like, kind of embarrassing. Yeah, that's a lot. Okay, so, April, can you hear why maybe you don't feel like jumping out of his bones right now?

I mean, I'm hearing, I mean, really, I mean, you guys live together then, right? Because you have to deal with the pet. Yeah. So, I mean, the first thing is, I feel like if you had some more security, I mean, what I see is, I just have written down. I was like, okay, sex life, relationship, goals in life, then the pet's, like, number four. But I see them as all kind of related, right? Like, you think he's not moving forward in his goals in life, and he's not even.

even training. Do you say it was a dog or it's a pet? I mean, he's not training his pet. Yeah, dog. He's not training the pet. He's not training himself. Your sex life is not stagnant right now because you don't feel safe and you don't know where it's going and you're 39 years old. So like, you know, in our 20s, I don't know for me in my 20s. I'm like, yeah, I've got all the time in the world. And then I'm like, oh, I actually need to know because if it's not working, I'm out. These are not just the things that are important to you. I think, April, you want to be with a partner who thinks these are important too, who the second the sex life If it's great, he wants to talk about it with you and be like, what can we do?

And they want to know where it's going as well. So, yeah, I mean, I could tell you ways that you could get turned on again and what you can do, but I think that these are the things that we've got to figure out now because you live together. I mean, do you want to have kids? I feel like that window is closing quickly if it's not already closed. So probably more unlikely than not. Yeah. I mean, well, yeah, I mean, you're 39.

You know, women have... And the dog thing is certainly not helping that. The dog, yeah. I mean, I mean, right, well, look at the dog. Your kid's going to be... These are really big issues. These are really important things to figure out as an adult with someone you've been with for two years, even one of these things, right?

Like, most people are like, everything's great, but our sex life isn't. Or everything's great, but, you know, I feel like I'm not inspired by my partner because he's not motivated to get a job. But these are all three things. I'm not even including the dog. So my recommendation to you is to say, we have to talk about all these things because we've got to figure out an answer right now.

Is it going to work? Is it not? And I love therapy. Like right now you could get a therapist on Zoom. You could see someone for an hour a week for the next month and have way more answers than you did today. Because I don't think that it doesn't sound like he's someone who's going to be on board with that

or you guys are going to be able to figure it out when he doesn't really want to talk about anything. So what really helps is, And I was, you know, I've been with guys, too, for even shorter amount 10 than two years. And we went for a few weeks, a few months, and we figured it out. Because it's like a mediator. It's someone's going to help you move the needle and move it along. Because these matter to you and they shouldn't matter to you.

And it's not just your agenda. It's his agenda, too. It's his life. Right. So could you see a therapist? I do. I mean, honestly, well, first off, do you have insurance? I do.

Okay, awesome. I mean, a lot of insurance companies right now, you know, For many plans, you get like 10 sessions for a year. They pay half of it. Psychology today has a good list of therapists. You know, you can search specifically by what you're looking for, like a family therapist or a couple's therapist. And really, it's a relationship thing.

It's like making new friends in a way. You've got to see, like, do you like this person? But I don't know. I mean, I've been seeing mine on Zoom and that's really easy. So I would find somebody that's covered by your insurance. And honestly, a basic therapist, they don't do the best one in the world, but they can, I mean, hopefully you find a really good one. but most therapists will help you develop tools so you can learn to communicate with him

specifically and get to the bottom of this if you both want the same things. And if he says no to therapy and no to talking, then call me back. Thank you, April. Thanks for Colin. Good luck. I appreciate it. All right. Of course, want to find out more about this?

Well, check out sex withemily.com. We'll be right back. Olivia's 22 in Brooklyn. Hi, Olivia. What's going on? How can I help you? Hi. Oh, my God.

I'm so excited to be on this show. Thank you for having me. Of course. So how we talk to you? Yeah. So I wanted to talk to you about SSRIs and sex drive, which is something I've experienced a problem with personally. And as a young person who enjoys sex,

it has been disappointing, I guess, to say the least, because I'm also an anxious person. So the SSRI, you know, helps that. Yeah, I was just curious, like, if you had any advice on, on that sort of how to deal with that and, yeah, how to, like, sustain a sex drive and relationships when you're also dealing with being on medication. Yeah. How long have you been on the medication? I've been on it for a little over a year.

Okay. Have you talked to your doctor about it at all? I have. I have. And she's suggested other medications. I'm just not sure if I want to add on another medication. Yeah, no, I understand that. See, this is what happens.

I just want to tell you that you're so not alone with this. It's like, you know, I don't know if you went out for depression or anxiety. You're like, I'm too depressed or anxious to have sex. And then you feel like having sex. And then you are feeling happier, but then you have sex and you can't have an orgasm or you just don't, your libido has been impacted. It's honestly both, but, yeah, I, like, can't even make myself orgasm at times, which is, like, truly, like, the most sad thing. That is.

So, yeah, that's why I'm out. I mean, so honestly, well, I was going to say if you'd be on it, sometimes the side effects go away for some people. There's a few things that happen. Sometimes the side effects go away for some people after a few months. Now, some of it could also be that we are, you know, this happens so much with sex that we think it's it happened once you couldn't orgasm and then you're like oh i won't be able to orgasm and then and then you continue can't it's like you know we hear this from guys aloud about premature ejaculation right that happens once and then every time they have sex

they come quickly because they're afraid it's going to happen there's also a lot to be said for talking to your doctor but seeing what you could do if you reduced it just a tiny bit but i would not do that without talking to your doctor because i feel like sometimes they have you reduce it or they can add something else in. You could also do some of the things I talk about on the show, which is like mindfulness practices, getting out of your head, you know, and because the side effects can subside for many people, they do. And so you could be, like, I don't know how to know if you're caught up in a pattern right now.

Do you want to tell me what you're on? Is it like an SSRI, like Prozac or Zoloft? Yeah. It's Prozac, yeah. Prozac. Okay. Yeah. It's like that, so that is really common.

So I think, and I know this is for many people, and I took it in the past and it's like I would go down. I think with my, and this was like years ago, but you just sort of, it was a tiny bit of a reduction and it made a difference. And I, and again, still don't know was it, I think there's something to be said for reducing the medication and feeling like you've done something different. So was it the placebo effect? You know, it clearly has an impact, but also so much of sex is our mind and our brains, when our brains are on board, for sex, our body will follow. So, like, how much time, Olivia, are you spending in a space where you're, like, thinking about erotic thoughts or how you want sex to happen or how's your fantasy life?

Because there's a lot of that that goes into sex as well. Right, right. I think sometimes I get what you're talking about, like this mind block where it's very easy to, yeah, to forget those, yeah, those processes that lead to an orgasm or lead to being turned on. And, yeah, that's definitely something to remember. I mean, that's what I would recommend. So, you know, did you, you know, also did you try other medications before? Right.

No, yeah, I haven't. So that's definitely something to talk to my doctor about, yeah. Yeah, I would talk to your doctor just because I know sometimes it feels like you found something and it works that you don't want to mix it up. Right. Even though they're all SSRIs like Prozac and Zoloft and they're all sort of the same, they impact everybody differently. and so I think that giving up your sex life and your sex drive isn't like

is something to work for if that's part of it. So I think I would say my prescription for you then would be kind of practicing thinking about how do I engage my mind erotically? How do I start to think about other things that turn me on? How do I be more engaged with my partner? When I'm masturbating, I'm doing something that's more, either it's more presence, it's more mindfulness, it's using your brain getting turned on. And then also talking to your doctor because that's, you know,

Those are all the different ways. And I want you to continue to have a flourishing sex life. And that's what I recommend. Of course. Thanks for calling. Thank you. I appreciate it. Yeah, so nice to hear from you.

Colin, my producer here, tell me what's up. Yeah, I just wanted to jump in. I've had the same issues. I got on, my doctor prescribed a mix of Zoloft and Lexapro. And it just ran right over. my sex drive. Yeah, Zoloft and Lexapro. So you still on both of them? No, no. And I talked to my doctor and we switched the Lexapro out for Welbutrin. Yeah, Welbutrin. Better for me. Game changer. It's true. I was actually going to say that to our caller and now Amanda's saying this too, that to Olivia,

because she said she didn't want to go another medication, but would doctors sometimes add is wellbutrin? Because wellbutrin is the one antidepressant that doesn't cause sexual sexual side effects. So are you saying that you went off of the Lexapro, you're still on Zoloft, and then you added the opetrin, and your sex drive came back? Yeah. Before the problem, it was like everything. I couldn't get an erection.

I had no desire to have sex. Now the hardest thing I deal with, sometimes it's hard. And it definitely depends, like, even I'll notice, like, time of day, like how recently I've taken my meds. The only thing I struggle with now is just getting to. an orgasm. Sometimes I can't orgasm. Yeah, and you never had that before? No.

No. And this is the kind of thing that you are, yeah, I mean, it's interesting they put you on both SSRIs. But it is true that there were years where I tried different things and different medications, and it's sort of a process to go to your doctor, but you have to sort of stick with it because I don't think it's worth it to kind of give up your sex drive and your connection and your orgasm. And I also think that sometimes. Sometimes doctors talk about taking like a vacation, this is, again, talk to your doctor about us, but you could take a, you know, a little vacation from your medication or like take it later in the day or earlier in the morning, you know, or miss it, like, skip a dose when you know,

like, it's the weekend. And so there's ways you can play with it. But, yeah, it feels physical, right? Like you feel like you're getting turned on and it's just not happening. Yeah. Yeah. It's weird. It's such a weird feeling.

It is. And I'm also wondering, though, if there is a way that you could talk to your doctor about taking just like a little bit less, like even like a third less. They can break pills in half. You can do certain things because that can also really bring your sex drive back. It's just sometimes just a little bit too much. And I also think our doses, I was actually just reading this article today about how, and I was going to say this to Olivia, if she's still listening, that the way the lot of these drugs were tested, we do not test them on women. And so sometimes women are given the same doses as men, but they're finding that those doses are too much and that they didn't test it on women because of hormones. And they're like, oh, we don't want to, you know, disrupt women's hormones, but that's actually why we metabolize medications differently.

And so, you know, it's like one in ten Americans take an antidepressant. 23% of women in their 40s and 50s take an antidepressant a higher percentage than any other group. And men say all the time, too, that this also impacts their sex drives. So I know that if it's something, just like everything else, something that you value in your life,

that you could continue to talk to your doctor about it. And there's always new medications coming out. So I'd recommend that to you, Colin, if it still happens. There's something in knowing that you're on top of it that could also help you, because we don't know, like nature, nurture, placebo, the medication. Right.

You become wired, unfortunately, so easy, easily. Like, something happens and we're like, this is now my state. Right. That's why I recommend. So you have consistent clitoral stimulation. I mean, the first time I tried it, I was blown away. Well, now we've introduced the Nova 2, which is truly next level. It's packed with new features.

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Then you'll get why I'm loving the Nova too. Check it out today that's sex withemly.com slash W-E-V-I-B-E. that's it for today's episode thank you so much for listening to sex with emily and if you love the show please like subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcast and hey share this with a friend or a partner it might just spark something it usually does you can find me on instagram ticot youtube facebook and x it's all at sex with emily oh and i've been told i give really good email so sign up at sex withemly.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure.