Sex With Emily - Why This Is Halle Berry’s Sexiest Chapter Yet

Episode Date: February 24, 2026

After years of thinking love wasn't in the cards, Golden Globe, Emmy and Academy Award winning actor Halle Berry stopped chasing and that's exactly when everything changed. In this live conversation from Eudemonia, Halle and I get into what it really takes to have a loving connection and  incredible sex in your 50s, why she thought her partner gave her herpes (spoiler: it was perimenopause), and how becoming whole on her own finally attracted the relationship she'd always wanted. From faking multiple orgasms in her 20s to now having no problem telling her partner exactly what she needs, Halle shares why the "zero fucks to give" era might just be the sexiest time of a woman's life. She also opens up about misdiagnosis, advocating for women's health in Washington, and why she's throwing herself a "siesta" party when she officially hits menopause in March. Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube!  In this episode, you'll learn:  • Why chasing a relationship kept Halle attracting the wrong partners—and what shifted when she finally prioritized herself  • How vaginal dryness got misdiagnosed as herpes and Sjögren's disease, and what that taught her about the gaps in women's healthcare  • The permission slip every woman needs to stop performing in bed and start asking for what actually feels good More Halle Berry: • Instagram  • Respin by Halle Berry  Eudēmonia Summit: •  Website  More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply). • Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here• Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Chapters: 00:00 - Chapter Title 00:09 - Halle Berry Admits She Used to Fake Orgasms 02:12 - Love, Divorce, and Lessons After Three Marriages 04:26 - Why She Slept With Men on the First Night 07:03 - The Health Scare That Changed Her Intimacy 07:46 - Being Misdiagnosed With Herpes 09:11 - Realizing She Was in Perimenopause 10:36 - How Sex Changed in Her 50s 13:03 - Why So Many Women Fake It 14:08 - The Unrealistic Sex Standards from Porn 17:08 - Learning You Can Say No to Sex 26:32 - The Truth About Multiple Orgasms 29:31 - Why She Launched Respin 30:50 - The Menopause Healthcare Gap Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

I know if you don't say this is true, you're lying. Everybody has faked it because you just want it to be done. Sometimes you just want the pounding to stop. So you just say, oh, okay, I'm good too. And then you go find your vibrator in the bathroom and you handle it yourself. Exactly. Today on the Sex With Emily podcast, you're about to hear something very special. I spoke with Academy Award winner, Hallie Berry, live at the Eudomonia Summit in West Palm Beach,

which is really just a bunch of visionaries. getting together to chart the future of human potential and longevity. This podcast is a recording of a live conversation. We had about love, desire, aging, and why great sex has nothing to do with performance and everything to do with feeling safe, honest, and alive in your body. Also, huge congrats to Hallie Barry, who just got engaged to her long-term boyfriend Van Haunt. And funny enough, he was actually in the audience. And so we hear him pipe in a few times and we talked to him during the recording. This episode is for anyone who thinks, you know, passion fades. Is it too late? something wrong with them because great sex isn't about being younger, it's about being more you.

And a quick note, if you want to stay up to date on new articles, podcast, tips, and more, you got to check out my newsletter because I've been told I give really good newsletters. Shop my favorite expert approved products at shop.com and follow me everywhere on social media at Sex With Emily. And remember, share this episode with someone you think might benefit from it. Don't forget you can watch this full episode on YouTube. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Okay, so if you've been listening to this show for a while, you know I'm not about random

sex toys or gimmicks. I'm about tools that actually support your pleasure, your communication, and your connection. Well, that's exactly why we created the shop, Sex with Emily's Store. Everything in there is curated by me and my team, and these are products I trust, I recommend to clients, and what tell my friends about. I do tell my friends about. It's what I talk about all the time. Whether you're exploring solo pleasure, looking to reconnect with a partner, or you really just want something body safe and beginner-friendly. We've organized it so you don't feel overwhelmed. People love the Dane pillow for supported sex, the magic wand waterproof. Oh my God, it's so good. Cray Vesper, massage candles, Joe flavored loob, We Vibe Touch, clitoral vibrators.

There's just so many things on there because pleasure shouldn't be confusing. It should feel empowering. You can check it out at shop.sexwithemly.com and find something that supports where you are right now or just click the link in the show notes. Also, keep an eye out for curated collections coming soon. Welcome to Sex with Emily, live from Eudamonia. Today, we're diving into pleasure, wellness, and the truth about our second act with a woman who's rewriting it all. Academy Award winner, the powerhouse founder of Reespin, and a fierce advocate of women's health, Hallie Berry. Hello.

I know. We're in a phone. Thank you. Okay. So, Hallie, what I love is we had a great talk last week. We met over Zoom. And you said you've zero shame and nothing is off limits. Very true.

I know. Nothing's off limits. I love that. So let's start where we love to start on sex with Emily because we all know that the path to great sex isn't a great romantic relationship. So I just want to say I'm so happy for you. Thank you. Hallie's found love.

And what really struck me is that it's just so inspiring for anyone who feels like their romantic life has an expiration date. And I know a lot of us 40s, 50s, we're like, that's it. I'm done. You know, maybe I won't find anybody. But you're literally rewriting that myth. So maybe you could take us to that moment when you realized, oh, it's not done. It's all happening. Love is possible for me. Well, it is possible. And my guy is here. He's right there. I'm sorry. I'm going to have to call him out. I told him we were going to talk about your sex life. I know. His name is Van. Everybody, Van Hunt. And after three divorces, I really thought that I was done. You know, you get to a point when you've gone through that three, four times, you start to think, well, I guess a relationship like this isn't for me. And I felt like I had had enough, and I just wanted to have my career and raise my children, and I would be good. But I realized that the minute you get good and you stop chasing that thing, I realize chasing that thing is what always allowed me to make the wrong choice. choices, right? Because I needed that thing. I thought that would complete me like many of us do.

And when I gave up and I said, you know, I'm going to prioritize myself, my life, my well-being, my second act, and this isn't going to be so important to me anymore, that's when the perfect person showed up. And I realized it's because I was now whole and complete and I was putting out something different and I finally attracted what I was, but I finally was what I wanted to be. Right? Amen. I love that. And so I didn't have bad guys before. I was attracting a reflection of myself. So I wasn't healed. I wasn't whole. So I was attracting not healed, not whole partners. I love that. Yeah. But when I took four years to get whole and, you know, then he came along. So jump to the sex point. Okay. So I find. All right. She did. I didn't. Yeah.

I'm like, God, we are having the most amazing sex two can have. Oh, my gosh. It's amazing. And I'm realizing, and I'm 54. And I'm thinking, wow, you know, four years off did me good. So we're doing it. We're doing it. And we're connecting.

Like, we met in the top of COVID. And we met just talking to each other. We asked each other every question two people could ask. Because he also was single for two years and just doing his own thing, getting himself whole. And so we talked. We wrote letters. text messages, we talked, and nothing was off the table, kind of like this chat we're about to have. Nothing was off the table. We told each other our good, our bad, our dirty. We were just like,

who cares? It's COVID. You're way over in Atlanta. I'm in LA. If we never see each other, if this ends, who cares? We don't need each other anyway. Making bread and, you know, texting. Yeah, drinking, you know, champagne in the middle of the afternoon. Like, who cares? So through that, though, we learned so much about each other that when I finally met him, maybe, six months after when he decided to come to L.A., we had sex the first day we met. I had never done that with anybody, right? But I had sex the first day with a man I just met, but I already knew him so well because we had eight, ten-hour conversations daily about everything.

We had to have sex because there was no more questions to have. We did it all? What I love is also, didn't you say you didn't FaceTime? When you were you were telling me on the phone, I was like, oh, I figured you were because facetiming. You didn't even see each other. It's kind of like love is blindish. Love is blind.

Except we knew what each other looked like. Right, right. But we were talking. Yeah. Talking, listening, you know, hanging on to every word. Like, can he put together a sentence? Write me a text. Like, how does he write?

How does he write? How is his grammar? Right. Like, is he funny? Does he have, like, all of these things we were figuring out about each other. And it was such a beautiful way to meet. I had never done it that way. Usually, you know, the physical stuff comes before the really get to know you part.

And then for me, then I'm in a relationship and I think, oh, my God, I'm not so sure I even like you, but here I am in a relationship. Because you felt safe too, because you knew him. That's a big part of our side. When we feel safe in our bodies, we can really enjoy sex more. You felt safe. So if you had sex the first night, and obviously it was good. Amazing because I had sex for the first time with a man that I was in love with, right?

That had never happened before. So I just thought, wow, this is the most amazing experience of my life. Yeah. And we went on like that for about a year. And then all of a sudden, I wake up one morning and I have the most excruciating pain in my vagina I've ever had. I go to chide to go to the bathroom. I sit down. I cannot go. I cannot. It's just seeping out like a little bit by little bit. And I'm holding on. I'm holding on. And I know that something is wrong. And I look down there. It's all blown up and swollen. And I'm thinking, oh, my God, what has happened? So of course, Van drives me to the doctor because I can't even like close my legs. It's like so inflamed. I get to the doctor and my doctor who I know quite well looks up there and he says, I think I know exactly what this is. I know what this is. And I said, what? He said it's, it's herpes. And it's a pretty bad case. And I'm like, herpes. What do you mean I have herpes? You mean the love of my life is

getting me herpes? There's always something. No, just kidding. I'm like, yeah. I thought he was perfect, but the herpes. Jesus Christ. And you would have thought all those conversations he would have told me about the herpes. You could have mentioned it. All through COVID.

Yeah. And not that herpes would be a deal break. No, right. Herpes is not as death sentence. No, it's just you need to know about that. So I go down, he's in the car waiting, and I go down there, and I'm like, so, Van, you got herpes?

He's like, no, I don't have herpes. I said, yeah, you do have herpes. Because now I have herpes, and I didn't have it before I knew you, so you got herpes. So long story short, he goes to see his doctor. We go through 72 hours of like, you know, kind of looking at each other. I thought I knew you. I thought we understood it.

I thought you were being truthful, not knowing who gave herpes to who. Well, he got his call first, you know, nope, don't have herpes. So he's looking at me like, well, guess you got herpes? And in that moment, I'm like, oh, my God. I've been called a lot of things, and people have said a lot of things. And I just didn't know. Yeah, sometimes we don't know. There's no symptoms, right?

I know these things. So I thought, oh, my God, I've given him herpes. Like, this is terrible. And then about an hour later, I get the call. I don't have herpes either. And this was my aha moment that set me on this journey of re-spin and realizing that I was in perimenopause and that dry vagina was the culprit of all of this and that over 15% of women suffer from dry everything, eyes, mouth, and vagina.

and that this is what this was. And I also knew that my doctor should have known this, but he didn't. And there's no blaming him, let me be clear, they only can do better when they know better. And doctors don't study our bodies. Only 13% of doctors in our country know anything about the menopausal body and the hundred and the myriad of symptoms that we suffer from. So no shade to him, he didn't know. He thought that was what that looked like.

that he had diagnosed in other people, right? And so that got me on my path. That got you path, yeah. Wow, what a journey to get there too. But still, I love the work you're doing. And what struck me is that you have been called one of the most beautiful women in the world. Still are beautiful women in the world, not just called, but is. And yet, you've chosen this mission for a time of life where women feel like less beautiful.

Right. And that's why I'm speaking out, because this is the time of our life where we, We are, I take the words of Michael Hunter, this man I follow on Instagram, we are spiraling up at this time of our life, right? We are turning into the best versions of ourselves. And if we understand how to take care of our new bodies, I call them our turbo bodies. If we learn how to take care of them, we really can live our best lives possible. And we can have the best sex life possible again. And thanks.

You should all know our sex life is back on and popping. I love it. We got that together because I found it. out it was possible. We didn't have, it didn't have to be the end now that I found my perfect partner, but we could actually work on it together. I think men are a big part of helping us have wonderful sex lives in our second act. We can't be afraid as ladies to talk to them about it. We have to take the shame out of it, the stigma out of it. We have to tell them what's going on. And I have found that when you really sit down and you talk to your guy about it, they want to help.

Like they want sex too. They don't want it to stop. They do. I love that you say, that I have to be honest, even a few years ago when I think a menopause sponsor, KT, probably four years ago. And they're like, will you talk about our thing? And I'm like, do I have to say the word menopause? I mean, even like five, I think it was five years ago. But I was like, okay, wait, I'm, you know what? It's okay that I'm in menopause and I can talk about it.

So I want to say that that's such a great point. Like our lovers, they want to be good lovers to us. They want to know what's going on. We don't have to have shame about it anymore. And especially the way we were talking about it. You said your sex can be, it's great. How would you say it's different now than it was, say, 20 years ago now that we've got everything else going estrogen. Like what makes it better?

Yeah, because you said it was the best of your life. Because with age comes this, I have zero fucks to give attitude. Right? We're just done worrying about everybody else's feeling. This oxytocin leaves us. Yeah. That which we have when we're younger and we can take care of our babies and take care of our man and take care of everybody else's problems. That leaves our body. And a beautiful thing happens, we stop caring about all of that. And so why is it better? It's better now because I can now say to my partner, here's what I want, here's what I don't want. This feels good, this does not. You might have heard that that was a good thing to do to a woman's vagina, but it's actually not. Not mine anyway. It's having the confidence to show up for myself and

to realize that I deserve an orgasm also. Yeah. In our youth, sometimes, I know everybody in here, I know if you don't say this is true. You're lying. Everybody has faked it because you just want it to be done. Sometimes you just want the pounding to stop. So you just say, oh,

okay, I'm good too. And then you go find your vibrator in the bathroom and your hand to let yourself. Exactly. Oh my God. You know we've all done. No more guys pounding away like a jackhammer once you hit this age.

You're like no more jackhammer sex. You never felt good. But we were afraid to say, you know, we had to get there so that he felt good about bringing us to orgasm, right? So we had to say that we did it so that he would feel good about himself. Because what is that doing? That's putting his needs before our own. And now I don't do that anymore.

I'm like, no, I come first like you come first to you. We both deserve to have this be a mutually enjoyable experience. So we both can roll over and go to sleep because we feel good. Not one snoring and one looking at this feeling like that. Exactly. What the hell? I'm doing. It's true. That is the thing is that teaching women, like we deserve pleasure too. So much of sex, at least for me, like, if I look at 20 years ago before I started this mission,

it was like, yeah, it was very performative about what my partner want, what we see in porn, right? Which is just, oh my God, story. Tell what we see in porn and how men often mimic what they see in porn. That's another thing I get to say to my guy. Don't do what you see in porn. She's getting spit on. I'm getting choked. I'm like, did we consent to this? What the hell? That's what they think. They saw it in so porn and the girl just kept going, and I'm like, no, that stopped it.

That called a dead stop. I was like, turn on the leg, this is over. Call your Uber game. I know. What we learned from porn is so important. Porn without sex education is a complete disaster. But now, oh, you even said to me, we were talking, and you're like, and I love this,

because whenever I say, like, redefined sex and so much of the sex we've had has been so, performative. Like, I know for me, not only did I fake single orgasms, I would fake multiple orgasms. I was so good. Like, I thought I was, I'm not an actor, but at this time of my life, I was like, that was really natural. I'm going to do another one. Like, I think I was kind of getting something from it. But the truth is, I realize at this stage of life, like, I'm not, I'm not going to do any of the faking in. Sometimes I say to people, like, and for many women, penetration has not been, even where they have orgasms, I'm not someone who orgasms through penetration. And the fact that

sex has been so centered on penetration. And so I think there's so many other ways we can find sex. And we were talking, you said, you're like, well, sometimes as Van and I just talk and it's really intimate and like, that feels good to you. And so just to say, like, it can all be okay. Can you talk more about that gets satisfying for you and for him? It is. As a woman, it feels so good knowing that your partner doesn't have to have that either. Because sometimes it just doesn't happen. Like you can get all, you know, into it and you think it's going to happen, but then you start talking during the foreplay. And the foreplay can often become all you need to do that night. There's a feeling of connection and intimacy and you learn something

about each other. You feel safe. Or sometimes Van and I, we were doing it and we were having our lube and this lube wasn't very good. So you needed a lot of it to make it work. And it's just something about that moment, like cracked us both up. And we just laughed so hard in that moment that sex became not the thing we wanted to do anymore. We wanted to just laugh with each other. We laughed so hard. And having a good laugh with your person was so bonding. I'm so intimate. And I felt so safe knowing, I don't have to do this tonight because, you know, the lube got all over with a mess. And it was funny and it was fun. And that's what it is to have sex in our later years, right? The pressure is off. And it's just whatever happens happens, but it's all good, no matter how it ends or how it starts.

It's all good. It's all good. We've been through, right. And I love this too. And I think no matter what your age is something that I've had to learn later too, definitely later in life. But even in your 20, whatever age 20s, 30s, 40s, I used to think that sex had this very, like you're saying, like beginning, middle end, and you couldn't stop it.

Like to stop it and to laugh because loops going everywhere or something's happened. It's like, got to get back to it. Because that was like my duty. And then he's going to get blue balls or something. And then I'm going to be the one that sent him to the ER if I don't finish, which by the way, you don't go to the ER for blue balls. it's a little painful, but nothing's bad. But like, as a woman, it's like, I didn't finish it.

But I want to say, no matter what your age, you're allowed to stop sex, you're allowed to say, this is really hot, but right now I think I want to slow it down. Can we go back to kissing? Can we stop and get a sandwich? I'm hungry. Or can we go to the kitchen and get a sandwich? Like, I just feel like this, I just try to break this, like, sex is penetration. When it can be, the greatest sex is what it's surprisingly,

whatever you two co-create together. And when you have the freedom to let it be spontaneous, wherever it is, wherever you are. Yeah. It's all okay. Yeah. I'll be right back after a quick break for our sponsors. So just stick around.

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When do you feel sexiest right now? Like, what does sexy have nothing to do with right now in your life? Like maybe it used to be like you were wearing something, but are there other things in your life? You're like, oh, it's really not about that. Like when do you feel the most embodied? It's certainly not about what I used to think it was about. Right. It's not about all the sexy lingerie and all the, you know, walking out and the thing.

It's definitely not that. Not that I don't love a good, you know, piece of lingerie because I do. But I feel like I do that more for myself than for my partner. I think when I feel the most sexy, it's when I know he thinks I'm the most sexy, right? And so that I know that he's getting excited by it is believe this or not. it's usually first thing in the morning when I don't have a stitch of makeup on and I look a hot mess. What's great about band is that those are the times when he tells me that he thinks I'm really beautiful.

And that is when I feel like I might be able to get it up and do it. Because it's something real. It's him seeing me for who I really am. Right. And I know that I'm more than the shell that I walk around in. So he's connected to an aura in the morning. He said I look innocent and I look younger. I look like a fresher version of myself.

And I don't think I look like my best self, right? But he sees that in me. And so that makes me feel very good about who I am as a person because I know it's not about the shell. It's about something else that's radiating that he sees, right? And so that's beautiful. I love that. You could get it.

You could get it right now. No, but seriously, like that's so, I mean, I don't know. Like, just thinking if you're in a relationship, like how good would it feel if your partner said that to you in the morning. Because they might be thinking it, but they might not think to say it. So say it. Say it. Say it.

Say it. Say it to your partner, whoever you're dating. Like, because I, yeah, I mean, I think that, you know, when you're dating someone, I think also for while you're love, I often look at my partners. I'm like, just because of their heart and who they are, you're not really looking at their physical space anymore. So I just think the more that we hear these messages, and that's we can tell ourselves some beautiful all day long, but it's also nice, you know, when our partner sees us,

more than like date night, I got all dressed up. Yes. Yeah. And even when I think I'm looking really good is not the times he mentions how good I guess. You're like, so why did I do all of this? Why did I get it so early, you know, to do all the things? How do you talk about your intimacy challenges with band? Like people are like, do I do it in the bedroom? I always say you got to talk about out of the bedroom, but how do these conversations go for you now? Just like talking about what's going on, you know? You know, it comes up any time. You know, because of Respin and the company that we're building,

I talk about that a lot and he hears a lot of those conversations in the house. Oh, it's your business now. Yeah, it's my business. So we talk about it a lot. I love that. But I think, you know, as I'm down the path of life, you know, we're trying to ideate on a new product now for our vaginas to help with our moisture. Right.

Right. And so I'm talking with him about it because I'm trying out different things. Yeah. Isn't that fun? What helps and what, you know, moves my needle. that much higher, you know? So we talk about it whenever. I probably get 20 pounds of sex products delivered to my house a week for the last 20 years and you're to my office, but now it's my house. And anyone who's come to my house, I see some friends here. You just, you know everyone comes to

shopping bag and they leave with like sex toys and loops. But it's funny. So when I was dating, I was like, oh, we've got this new, three new toys to try this weekend or these new loaves and it's really fun to test it. So even if you bought this, we're going to talk about respite in a minute, But a lot of people get asked also about like they feel shame around, well, how do I bring up the loop? How do I bring up the toy? Just show them. I've got this really new fun thing. I can't wait for both of us to try it together.

It's like we need that fun and the excitement, something new. Yeah. And that's why when we created this product called Let Spin, it was really important that we put it in a bottle, like the branding of this and the packaging of this. It was really important that it feel good, that it look beautiful, that we as women don't feel ashamed to put this on our nightstand. You know, because a lot of these things can look like foot cream and you're embarrassed to pull out. And if you don't have it sitting out somewhere, you forget to use it, right? And then you, you know, suffer. So by being, having no shame in it and say, yeah, I use this and so what. It doesn't mean I can't be juicy as peach and still, like, get down and do what I need to do. Like, there's no shame in that. And it's not just women, you know, too men can get down with this.

Oh, yeah. You know, men need this. Younger women can use this. It's not just a midlife woman thing, but if you are a midlife woman, it's especially good for us because it's full of hyluronic acid, aloe vera. It's clean. It's very sensitive. You won't have any smells. It won't cause you any problems. I love that.

It is the cleanest product. It won't sticky your hands or your sheets. You'll use it. It would be like you were never there. It disappears. You know? What I love is it kind of mimics your natural lubrication. Like you don't feel like it.

you have something in you when you use this. You're like, oh, it kind of feel like I didn't really... You're just juicy as a peach. Yeah, juicy as a peach. Like we always were. But you made a great point because here's the other thing is that lube always had a really big stigma. People were like, oh, I better get the lube that's like under the mattress or in the bathroom.

And then it was probably one of those lubs that were like not made by women for women. No. Like it had ingredients that you should not put in your vagina, by the way. Yeah. Yeah. Quarsh. Yeah. Yeah, and it's like the wrong color, and it's like just come.

This just has like a little. Yeah. Oh, I love the pump. You got to have a pump with Lou. No one's unscrewing when you're screwing. No, really? You don't want to be like, let me unscrew. But you want a pump, though.

You got to pump when you're pumping. You have to pump when you're pumping. No, you guys, I got to tell you, this is so good. My vision has always been a lube on every nightstand. Like when I start and I realized that lube, was a game changer, not just for women, McKinsey Institute did a study years ago that said, when you add lube to any sexual situation,

women are 80% more likely to orgasm, no matter what their stage of life. Because our wetness level is not an indicator of our arousal. So you could be wet and turn on, you could be turned on and not wet. This is like using sunblock on a cloudy day because it's safety and just always use the loop. Like just, it's a beautiful red button,

just use the loop. Trust me. And guys, the shame comes from men, maybe I didn't get you wet enough because my penis wasn't heart and then women are like, something's wrong with me. But when you just put a few in here and then you touch them with it, they're like, oh, we do have to take shame out of it. Even younger women, they will have, they can maybe stop faking it. Yes. We can stop making it young ladies. If we get a lube that allows us to have the optimum, have optimum pleasure. Period. I did not know loop. I didn't even know about it in my 20s. Well, I knew about it, but like many women, I thought that meant something was

wrong with me and the guy would think something was wrong. with me if I couldn't get naturally wet fast enough. Well, for truth is it takes us a little longer. We're built different and that's a good thing. Right. So what? We just don't go, bing, it takes us a minute. Yes, we respond. Right, we don't. I wish we did. It makes so much easy for us. If we're on the outside, our genitals, we'd be orgasming all the time. Have you ever wished you had a penis for just like two hours? Yes. I want to just have that thing for two hours. I don't. Do everything I can with it just to see what they experience. It's two hours, though.

It's all right. Yeah, exactly. I don't need a full day. I don't need to, like, sleep with it and wake up with, like, a nocturnal erection. But during the day, I would love, like, because also I get all these penis toys sent to my house. I was like, what does it really feel like? I want to try all the toys. But, yeah, it would be really fun to know what it's like to just know that 99.9% of the time I'm going to have an orgasm.

Yes. Could you imagine that? I think it's 100%. But there's always a guy's like, I don't. I'm like, fine. But most of the time, they're going to have orgasm. And I wonder if it's. feels different. Yeah, I want to know too.

What we feel or do they have a difference in... I'm sure it's a different sensation. It's harder to get, so it must be better. Yeah. Yeah, well, that's exactly why. Because we work so hard for it. And our refractory period, meaning the time it takes to go from an orgasm to the next is a lot quicker for women. So actually, all women can have multiple orgasms. We just learn to train ourselves. Do you have that? Well, great question. So I had to learn. I do not, I didn't just have one. like I wasn't one of those girls like, oh, I had three orgasms during penetration. Most of what I've learned about my body was on my own.

So solo sex masturbation using sex toys, my fingers. So I learned to have multiple. Like I can have using the right toys, like I could have like 15 now. Have you? Yeah. But so can you wait. Okay, thank you. I should put that on my resume.

Toys, yeah. Okay, I can tell you. But I love the magic wand. I think the magic wand is, like, iconic, and it's also been around forever. But the thing is that we have so many nerve endings that for most of women, we're like, I'm done after one. But if you just take a few deep breaths, you breathe into your pelvic floor, and then you go back and try it.

I'm like, I'm too sensitive. But if you try again and you don't go back to the same spot, our vulva, like, it's the clitoris, but then there's like the clitoral nerves, and you just start to play around that your arousal can keep coming, if you will. And so can you. So I've learned to like work with my arousal so it can keep coming. Have you had multiple guests? I have, but I've only had three.

Okay. And I haven't tried them with toys. Usually when I use a toy, I get one. I'm like, good. Yeah. Okay, got that. Like I've never done. In a relationship, only with my current, only with man, because we're so connected,

do I feel free enough to keep going? Yeah, because you have the safety too. The safety of that. Yeah. And I can go there. Yeah. And it's been the first time at 54 that I experienced. You guys, that is like, it's never too late.

It's never too late, really. But you could have probably 10 if you want to talk about it after. But no pressure. No, I don't want to compare. We've never studied women's sexual health, guys. Like, there was no, not even sexual health, because sex was so taboo for so long. So we certainly weren't studying women's orgasms, let alone women's bodies and menopause and parimenopause. So a lot of what we learned about sex is just not true.

And we only learned, at least I remember growing up, we only learned about, sex so far as it was to make babies because as women we were just supposed to procreate. We didn't learn about it from a pleasure point of view. It was just how do you make babies and do what you're built to do. And like that was it. It was never sold to me like it was supposed to be for my pleasure. It was just to procreate and satisfy the man. It was never like I was supposed to get something out of it. Exactly. Same. Anyone else have great sex at here? I mean, mostly it's fear-based. Yes.

Don't get pregnant. Don't get nasty. Or maybe just don't have sex. But there's never pleasure or consent or anything about female pleasure. Ours was just, this is what you do to make a baby. And that's it. And don't do it before you want to make a baby. Right.

Right. And that's what you're left with. And then you're fumbling. That's why we're all fumbling through we were. It's a different time now. Fumbling through our 20s like trying to figure it out. Like I don't even think it's changed. Yes.

I mean, a lot of sex ed hasn't changed that much. But women's health, though, right now. So let's just talk about like women navigating menopause and what you, you're doing now because like you're focusing your company, Reespin on this huge gap. Yes. In health care and training in, in menopause for women. You've got education. You've got, so tell me about this community.

There is a community. Because it's a community. Yeah, it's a community. And the reason I knew we needed to do this, besides getting misdiagnosed with herpes for my vaginal dryness, I also got misdiagnosed having Shogren's disease. I went to see my doctor because my mouth is dry. And usually if you have dry vagina, you have all the orifices are dry, right? So I got misdiagnosed with Shogun's disease. My doctor almost put me on a lifetime of steroids. Thank God I, cooler heads prevailed. And I thought, no, I'm going to search this up. I don't think I have

Shogran's. And then another doctor couldn't even say the word menopause when my eyes were drying up. My glands were drying up. And he couldn't even say, I had to say to him, this is menopause, right, doctor? And he was like, yes, I couldn't say it. Women don't want to hear they're in menopause. So these are all the things that made me realize, how can I use my voice and my platform and all the things that I have access to to amplify this so that women don't feel afraid or ashamed and doctors log on and go back and take it upon themselves to get retooled, right? Because we deserve to be treated. We deserve to have health care practitioners that understand us. So at Reespin, that's kind of what we're building over there. We have rockstar doctors. Dr. Sarah De LaToy right now is our clinical lead. So we have rock star doctor.

who are experts in the menopausal body. We have scientists over there. Elizabeth Knight is our head of science. So our RESPIN members are getting cutting edge science on all the new therapies that are coming out and all of the studies. Not nearly enough studies are happening. So we have a whole advocacy part of RESPEN

where we empower each other, other women, to try to, I go to Washington. You know, I'm about to go back and I'm gonna do my best to try to get like a $265 million grant just for women in menopause to have our bodies studied because the NIH doesn't give any money to menopause. You understand. And the reason they don't give it is because people don't really believe that menopause is a thing.

They really don't. They think it's just getting old and you know you got to face it, women, you're getting old. Well, no. Yeah, we're getting old, but we are living longer than men but in poor health. So there's a gap there. How can we get old and live longer but also be our best selves? So that's what the money is for. We have, now our clinic is open so we can do telemedicine.

So I know so many women have a hard time getting, if you want to be on HRT, now that the FDA lift the black box. Finally. Do you guys know about that? There was in a black box. I don't, now they take off, finally they, you know, remove the labels. It's the worst study that ever happened to women's health 20 years ago when the study came out and scared generations of women off hormones.

We now know the FDA has said it's okay to take it. So if you want hormones, we have a clinic, we can keep it. get you on that. And also, we pride ourselves in saying we meet every woman where she is because hormones aren't going to be right for every woman. Right? It's a very personal choice you have to make. And if you don't want to be on hormones, that's good too. But then we have a holistic approach. We have coaches. We help you with diet and exercise, your whole 360 view. Because it's not, I've been on hormones now for four years and it's not the end all be all. I still needed to change my diet, change the way I work out, working out heavy. My body completely.

changed. I had to learn how to feed this new version of myself. We help you with that at Re-Spin. And we have a beautiful community of like-minded women who have conversations just like we're having, like the real deal. Here's what's going on. Like no holds barred. And you just feel like you have a community there that's understanding you. And after you relate with women like we had a dinner last night, you hear other women tell their stories. You just feel better because you know, shit, I am not alone, right? We do have to band together to destigmatize this and change culture for ourselves so that it can be a time of life we look forward to.

We're not like fearing, but we can say, hey, yes, I've earned the right. I'm my best version of my best self right now. Like, everybody needs to, you know, get on board with this. Exactly. Let's celebrate it, too. Well, I love it last night. All these women just came up. They were telling their stories.

Like at first I'm like, who's coming? People were lining up. Like, here's what happened to me. And so it was really powerful. This is what we must do. This is part of how we change culture because we know that like when you're 16, you get a sweet 16 party. You get a bar mitzvah or a bot mitzvah.

You get a baby shower, a wedding shower, a bachelorette party. Like all these things, right? We celebrate these milestones, right? What if this is one way to change culture when a woman is in menopause, her family has to come together and throw her a chiesta. Right? Yeah. A chiesta.

And it's not some little party. on par with a bar mitzvah or you know a baby shower like you go all out and you let the woman in your life know how valued she is and and how important this phase of her life is and that she's just got an opportunity to start a new act it's not over it's a new beginning and i think that should start with a beautiful she has to give him by your family and yours are your friends you said yours is in march yeah i will be in the menopause march 21st if nothing happens before then Like, that's when you have a year. Well, you have a year.

You guys don't have menopause is a year without your period. And I don't know if no one's had this. I'm like, oh, thank God I've gone six months. And then you get your period. You're like, oh, shit. Just go back to zero. But you're feeling pretty good about March right now. I'm feeling good.

Okay. This will be my second stop start. So I'm thinking this is it. Yeah. I'm not being shy about it. I've never had a birthday party. So I'm not being shy. I'm like, okay, everybody, I'm going to need a chiesta.

I don't know you people. Really? We're coming. You have never had a birthday party? Why? You just don't? I've just never had one. I didn't grow up having birthday parties. And it's not that I'm, it's about aging. And I don't want to talk about my age. It's just I've never felt like, I take no credit in the day that I was born. So it really doesn't mean much to me to celebrate that day. I care about Mother's Day because I work hard at being a mother. I will care about a chiesta because I've worked hard to get here. I can't wait for that chiesta. We're going to have. All together. You know, I'm feeling good about myself. So, and it's been a lifelong. of, you know, my journey to get here. So I'm going to need that. Okay, got it. We're all, we're all going to do it. Man. I wouldn't need that shift. Okay. A few more questions here is, okay, what's the biggest myth about sex or aging you wish we would drop? Well, I'll go with aging

first, only because I think the biggest myth is that our beauty is predicated on our physical self. and I see these young women and it breaks my heart with all the things they're doing to their faces today and they're transforming into some version of them that they know they're not but somehow we're all starting to young women in their 20s and 30s are doing all these things and I wish I could say baby this isn't going to make you feel beautiful beauty is from within beauty is a state of being it's not a physical attribute right and I see them searching and searching. And I want to say, are you beautiful now? And I think many of them still don't feel beautiful. And they will keep chasing that beauty and chasing that thing until they've turned

into some version of themselves that they won't recognize anymore. And I worry. I really worry. So I think it's beauty is as beauty does. It is what you say is within. It is. And I think it's beautiful to see us age as women. You know, I'm aging. It's what's supposed to happen. It's a privilege. And I'm not saying we can't do little things to help us along the way. God, do your little things, but just don't change your face into another person. You know what I mean? Please. Have the confidence to be who you are and know that that's enough. Know that that's enough because it is enough, right? It's enough. But we have to know that it's enough and we have to say no to the societal pressures to stay forever 35. It's just not possible and we should not try to chase

that. I love that. We're more than that. We're more than that. It's so true. When you were saying earlier that you finally be the person you want to find, you became the person, and that's when you met Van, and I think so much about this beauty is we're trying to become someone else, and we're getting further from who we really are. It's not here. It's find that person in here. And now that I found my

person, I know he's someone that will love me as I naturally age. He can't wait until I decide to let my hair be gray. I mean, he cannot wait. He's like, that's going to be the best version of you when you're ready to do that, you know? So I'm out of faith. Okay, we love him. I'm not afraid of that. I don't do it now because I just don't want to do that right now, but he is like, you're going to be so good when you do that. I love this. Okay, describe each decade of your sex life with just a couple of words, just whatever comes to mind. Ready?

Your teens? Non-existent. I was a late doer. 20s? Reckless. 30s. Experimental. A lot of self-discovery in my 30s.

40s? Wild. I was getting closer to my best self, so I'm feeling free and love. Wild in my 40s. 50s. Well, that's where I am. It's the freest stage. It's pretty good.

She's doing well. We didn't talk about Joy Lux. I don't think everyone knows what it is. Yes, it's Joy Lux. We teamed up with Respin with a company called Joy Lux. And the reason I chose them, when I had this issue with our sex life, one of the first products I tried was this V-Fit by Joy Lux. It's a red life vaginal device that helps build collagen.

and, you know, make you moist inside there. And I tried that. And it actually worked. And I was like, wow, here's a product that actually does what. It plumps. Like you use the red light on your face. Yeah. Same thing down there.

Same thing. Right. Yeah. So I reached out to them and said, this is amazing. How can I be a part of this? Like, when I find something I really like, then I want to, like, get into it. And so that was the beautiful start of a partnership. And when I said that helped me, we thought about, I'm like, what else can you guys

help me do? I would really love a good lube because I've been. using the ones, as you now know, that haven't been so good for us. And I said, how can we build a lube together? And so I got together with Dr. Sarah and Joy Lux and we came up with Let's Spin. That's how that whole happened because I tried the V-Fit first and that led to this relationship. Okay. Well, they're great. They're legit. I've like used that before. They've been around. Well, thank you, Hallie, for your humor and your honesty and showing that pleasure isn't something we outgrow. It's something we grow into.

We do. Thank you so much. I have been a fan. You have changed the world for us. Really, you have. You made it okay to talk about it. And I know when you started 20 years ago, it was very, very, very taboo. So thank you for your courage and using your voice and your platform to free us all. Thank you. Thank you. That's it for today's episode.

Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show, please like, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you get your podcast. And hey, share this with a friend or a partner. It might just spark something. It usually does. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email.

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