Sex With Emily - Why You’re Not Having the Sex You Want (& How to Fix It)

Episode Date: April 17, 2026

In this live episode of Sex With Emily, I dive into your real-time questions about sex, dating, desire, and connection… breaking down what might actually be blocking you from the intimacy and pleasure you want. From why it can feel harder to approach people or build attraction, to how stress, overthinking, and disconnection from your body and partner impact desire, I unpack the hidden patterns shaping your sex life. We explore everything from casual sex after breakups to how couples can reignite the spark, approach intimacy more intentionally, and create more ease, confidence, and fun in both sex and modern dating.  ABOUT EMILY: Emily Morse is a Doctor of Human Sexuality, author and host of the #1 rated Sex with Emily podcast. Known as a renowned sexologist, Dr. Emily has helped millions of people around the world navigate their sex lives. Her candid and often funny conversations challenge cultural taboos, misinformation and awkward sex talks to create a future where people can deeply connect and embrace pleasure-filled lives. Because, life is too short for bad sex.  CONNECT: Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexwithemily/  X: https://twitter.com/sexwithemily  Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/sexwithemily  TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@sexwithemily  Threads: https://www.threads.net/@sexwithemily WANT MORE? Visit the Website: https://sexwithemily.com/ which includes FREE guides. Free Downloadable Guides: https://sexwithemily.com/guides/  Text With Me: https://sexwithemily.com/text  Receive Sex Tips On The Regular: https://sexwithemily.com/subscribe  Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to http://sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  Chapters: 00:00 Introduction to the LIVE 01:16 How to Call/Text Your Questions 01:49 Valentine’s Day & 21 Years of Podcasting 02:36 Why Couples Love Listening Together 04:33 Desire vs. Arousal Explained 05:21 Can You Coregasm at the Gym?  06:59 Blood Flow & Body Responses 07:53 Is This Normal?   09:02 What Some Women Enjoy Watching  10:54 Vulnerability in Men & Relationships 12:38 What is Compersion? 14:10 How to Approach Someone at the Gym 18:45 How to Bring Back the Spark in Relationships 21:25 Yes/No/Maybe List (Game-Changer Tool) 23:48 Real-Life Love Stories (Gym & Neighbors) 24:16 Keep Dating Your Partner 27:09 Slow Cooker vs. Frying Pan 28:52 Final Thoughts & Where to Find More Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

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Get 15% off your order with My Code Sex with Emily at checkout. on commonconfidential.com. That's sex with Emily for 15% off at commonconfidential.com. Let me just say this. You don't have to want casual sex. This is a question that came in before the show that I wanted to cover, something about your sex life

that you don't often know might be preventing you from having the sex you want. Remember that approaching someone is a muscle and a habit that a lot of us has gotten out of. Practice it. I didn't realize you wanted me to talk dirty Or like we both want that. Let's make that happen. So sometimes those little are those are little

sparks. It is one of my favorite tools to help you have like a whole list of things. Like I did it with a partner. We had a safe note in our phone of all these things that we agreed that we wanted to try. How are you doing? We are here. We are live. So this was the plan. The plan was after 21 years with my 21st year of podcasting. I just wanted to come live with y'all and talk to you every week. because this community is where the magic happens, and this is where we're going to help each other have a judgment-free space where we could have better sex, less shame, more fun,

make sex fun. Remember when it was supposed to be fun and not like in our heads? And we get all distracted with our thoughts and our worries and we don't have great sex. That's what this live show is about. Okay, we are from, that is a real phone number. You guys just remember this phone number here.

You can call me right now with your question. You can change your name. That's cool. Just be kind, that and clear. You can also text your question to that number right now, 559 Talk Sex, or 559-8-2-557-339. That is what you can do right now. Where are you all from California, St. Petersburg? Hi, Emmy.

That must be a friend who calls me Emmy. People call me Emmy. All right. I got a rose from Michael. Thanks, Michael. My first rose of the day. How you guys are feeling about Valentine's Day coming up, by the way, roses? Okay, how long have I been podcasting?

21 years, my 21st year podcasting, guys. Sex with Emily Podcasts, 21st year, and I'm like, I don't want to sit down, pre-record it, edit it, da, da, da, da, I don't want to edit. I want this to be a live, unedited conversation where we are answering all your questions in real time and having a conversation. So that's what we're doing. That is a plan. And, yeah, I'll get to your questions.

You can send your questions here of you guys. I'm reading all of your comments on all the platforms, Facebook, and TikTok, and we got you on Twitch and we have you on Instagram and also you can text your calls. Thank you all. You've been to see a lot of my podcasts lately. Thank you. Wherever you listen to podcasts, I have thousands of them, not going to lie. So I'm sure you're going to find them to be very interesting and you'll like them.

A lot of people love to listen to them if they're in a relationship with their partner. It's like free sex therapy because they're, you know, true, entertaining, provocative, educating, educational. And I find that a lot of couples like to sit and drive and listen for like hours. I find that fun. Aurora, Colorado, lovely to hear from you. Wisconsin, Connecticut.

Okay, California. It's Saskatchewan. I'm so much better alive. I agree. Thank you. Okay, what are your thoughts in estrogen therapy for a woman after menopause?

We get to that. How important is size? VD plans for me, my girl. All right, you guys, you're already sending the questions in, which I'm like kind of obsessed with. Costa Rica, Ireland. This is going to be a good one.

Okay, so Virginia. Hi, Michael. someone just said to me, this is going to be a good one or please save it. Okay, I'm so glad you reminded me. Here's what's happening. If you've just been bopping in and catching these lives the last few months, part of it, and you're like, I want to go back, I want to hear it. We're releasing these lives twice a week or once twice a week as podcasts.

So you can rewatch them on YouTube and wherever you listen to podcasts. So it's Spotify, iTunes. Where else you all listening right now? Google Play. Is that where? wherever you're listening to podcasts, you can listen to the audio. But you can also watch it, and these lives that we're doing now with all of you are the Saccharges-Lelny podcast, the new ones.

Okay. So if they're all saved, you just might have to wait a week or two to hear this episode. I love it. Chicago, Pennsylvania. Yeah, you text that number on screen, right? That's what they do. Text that number on screen, right, Luke? Yeah, you guys, that's it.

Hello from India. I was in India last year, you guys. Highlight of my year. Okay. So that's, that's, that's what we're doing here. I see all your questions coming in. I'm going to get to your questions in a minute. So what I wanted to say is I've been thinking a lot about, as I often do, this is a question that came in before the show that I wanted to cover. I wanted to cover something about your sex life that you don't often know might be preventing you from having the sex you want and even having desire and or arousal. Remember, desire is the want to want to, want to have sex. Like, yeah, I want to have sex right now. I'm responding to this hot person in front of me that I'm attracted to. And arousal is the physical manifestation of that desire. So, you might know arousal as, I have an erection. I'm hard. For women, it might be, oh, I'm wet. I'm

feeling like tingling, you know, my breath is quickening or my chest is getting red. Those are the symptoms, right, of getting aroused. So I got a question that said this. A question says, Good evening. A question that is being asked at the gym by guys is, can lifting cause a woman to orgasm? I said, I have no idea, but I know who to ask. Please advise. Thank you, Fran. Okay. So why this is so interesting, it's a great question. It's not, women can't orgasm anywhere. So can a guy. But not because lifting is sexual. Sometimes women have something called a orgasm, and that's triggered by intense engagement of the pelvic floor. So like heavy lifting, leg raises, pull-ups. So it's a mix of strong muscle contractions, which is what an orgasm is.

So it's like putting pressure on the pelvic floor, nervous system activation, and increase blood flow. Yes, you can have an orgasm at the gym. Blood flow certainly plays a role, but it's not the whole story. I want to talk about blood flow today. It's how the muscles and the nerves and the brain are firing together. And for some people, yes, being at the gym can cause you to orgasm, but for most it doesn't. I mean, I wouldn't say that most of us are sitting around the gym having orgasms. So, and is that something that people are trying to do at the gym? So I feel like this woman's buddies at the gym are like, is this going to cause you to orgasm? So part of me may be like, I don't even want to like talk to those guys, but maybe they're doing it in a way that

was fun and flirty. But if it does happen at the gym and you're not expecting it, it can. It feel very surprising and maybe awkward, but also reminds us that our bodies are wired in very fascinating and unexpected ways. So I hope that helps. Maybe the guys at the gym are not realizing, like, they're asking better questions than they thought. It actually makes me think a lot about the challenges you guys are facing. I once had a orgasm at the gym myself. I was in my 20s, and I was doing a lot. I was doing that thigh master thing where you put your legs in together and you keep pushing like the thigh thing, whatever they call it, the constrictor. I don't think they call it a thigh master.

The thing when you're pushing it in and out with your thighs, that was something else from the 80s, the thigh master. But because it's pelvic floor strain, it could do that. And then you're like, whoa, that feels really good. And then you have really toned thighs or really toned arms. But it got me thinking about blood flow and how blood flow is also a really big thing that we don't think about when it comes to having successful desire. And I'm going to get into that more today.

But first, I'm going to get to some more of your questions that just came in because I think I'm going to reward the early birds here who just jumped in. So, someone said, is having bi-feeling is normal? So feeling bisexual is that normal? I would say most things when it comes to sex are pretty normal, especially when it has to do with your sexual identification. It's really common to feel by, you know, Kinsey talked about sex. being on the scale, like the Kinsey scale, if you've ever heard about this, it's like one to 10. 10 is like really gay, lesbian, one is like super straight, and we all kind of move along this scale. And typically a lot of this stuff has to be updated, but we found like women might be a little

bit more bi-men, maybe they're more like a one or a two, women are like a three or four, but I actually think that men might be a little bit more bisexual, but there's so much much more societal pressure to not be or that a lot of societal stigma and judgment. That's just my opinion. But yeah, buy is very common to feel like I'm attracted to people of their sex. Now, let me tell you this. For example, let's talk about heated rivalry for a minute. Who's watching heated rivalry? Okay. So it's about, it's on Netflix. Everyone's talking about the show. yes, it's about an ice hockey league and two of the players have like a really hot sex, you know, have an attraction to each other.

They start to have sex to men. You don't really. So I think for a lot of women I know and a lot of gay men I know, they found this sex to be extremely hot. And I feel like straight men are like, I don't know. I really like hockey, but I don't want to watch it. But I think universally, this is another topic. But a lot of straight women have been asking me, why am I so turned on by why?

watching gay men have sex and they want to know if they're normal and if that's okay. And it's really, really common. It's something I've been talking to you about for many years is that I hear from a lot of straight women. I've advised a lot of straight women to check out gay porn. It can be really arousing and hot to watch men having sex for women. There's a lot of reasons for that. Maybe it feels safe.

You know, it's really hot to see men like really into each other. They know each other's parts. It's something where we're not centered on women. so we're sort of a nod in the picture. We don't have to think like, oh, that's my body, that's my orgasm. So I find that question interesting. If you guys, I'm talking about some of the things that you don't realize are preventing you from having the sex you want.

I'm going to be here alive with you several times a week. Thank you everyone for joining us. You can text or call the number that you see right now on your screen. Okay? So do that. I'm here for you. But right now I'm going to answer some of the questions that you guys have been coming along. If you have any comments about that, let me know.

A lot of comments came in. All right. So, yeah, I love that men are being vulnerable about that. We're talking about, it's nice to see men be vulnerable in that way. I think that's the other thing about, so Danielle said it's nice to see men be vulnerable in that way. We just don't see it enough, so it's great to see. I agree that the thing about heated rivalry right now is that, yes, it's about sex, sure. But it's really interesting to see men be really vulnerable, have honest conversations, feel some sort of like,

You know, we see all the stuff that goes into being a new relationship and flirting and sexting and insecurities that come up around their bodies. It's like normalizes that we all go through that. And vulnerability does equal strength. Thank you, John. I'm working on that too, you guys. I think that vulnerability is so scary sometimes. We don't feel safe to be our real selves. And I think a big part of me doing this live with you all too is so I can be more vulnerable and you can be more vulnerable.

and you could be more vulnerable because we don't have time to like overthink things. We're just having a conversation here. So, yeah, I got this. So what else do we got here? Okay. So some more questions that have come in today is about what are my thoughts on estrogen therapy for a woman after menopause or menopause? Okay, I know.

Estrogen, we have found to be really healthy for women. Perry, during menopause, postmenopause. You have to talk to your doctor about it, but we have done so much incredible research right now, women's bodies, that my mind is exploding and that we have found that the majority of women, even women who are postmenopause or might even have conditions, you know, might be like for cancer or might feel like they're a risk. They actually will all benefit from vaginal estrogen. You know, you can insert that.

You could use a patch or even just the vaginal estrogen that you insert inside of you is really, really safe. So I feel good about it right now. And I love that we're having these conversations. about everyone's health right now. So someone said, can you do an episode on compersion? Do you all know what compersion is?

Oh, wait. You can put a little shout out here in the comments if you know what compersion is or if you want to know about it. You can put a, yes, what emoji would you put? Thumbs up, even though that emoji can make me feel like you don't. Like, when someone thumbs up your text,

you're like, are you mad at me? You can put a fire if you want to hear about it. A little fire emoji. Compersion is a term that's used for couples who are in ethically non-monogamous relationships, open relationships. There's a lot of different ways to describe it, but basically they are in a committed relationship with one partner, but they like to experiment with sex with someone else.

And the couples that experience compersion means that they are actually getting joy and pleasure from watching their partner's pleasure. So their partner having sex with somebody else gives them pleasure and joy. Doesn't give them anxiety. doesn't give them worry. It's not saying that it never does, but their primary experience around their partner being with someone else is like,

I'm so glad my partner is having pleasure right now. And I am safe enough in our commitment and our relationship that I'm not tripping and getting jealous, but I actually experience like a deep comfort in it because I want my partner to feel good. Someone else wrote here, when you see your partner receive pleasure from another, that's what it is. Exactly.

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Love it. Someone said I'm worried about approaching a woman who I like at the gym. Any advice? I get it, you guys. I think it's gotten a lot harder to approach people. And I think this is going to feel, I try to be so gender-specific because I think we all might want to approach someone at the gym. But I think after Me Too and a lot of messaging that maybe it's a lot, I've heard it's

a lot harder and I understand why it might be more challenging for men to approach women anywhere right now because the lines got sort of murky and none of us wants to be doing the wrong thing or seeing as like a predator and you're like I just want to like talk to you so my best advice for talking to anybody and striking up conversations with anyone and this is something that I'm working on right now too I think we've lost the art of connection in public so first I would say start just looking people in the eye and smiling at them as they walk by whether you like them or not. Like when I'm walking into the gym now, which I just joined a new gym, which is a whole other thing we can talk about, I just smile in the morning. Hey, nice to see you. Good to see you. Good morning.

You know, definitely with the people that are checking you in and the guys parking. But when I go in, if I'm walking past someone, my first instinct sometimes is to just like look down or look away because I'm focused. I'm at the gym for a specific amount of time. I don't want to be distracted. But I realize when I look up and smile, someone smiles back at me. And no one's been like, why are you smiling at me? And I think the same goes for all of us, that if you're at a gym, you want to connect. You're probably there too

because you're like, community is important, especially now. So my point is, I would just approach and see what they're doing. You can work into the sets. Someone's asking, how do I approach someone at the gym? Just be like, hey, I've seen you the last few days. Like, it's a great gym, isn't it?

Or like, yeah, what did you think of that class I saw you taking? Why is there always a line at the pull-down machines? That drives me crazy, too. like just notice something that's happening in the environment. Like if there's something happening, it's really crowded that day. There's a line. There's, it's a new gym. Like, I'm at a new gym.

Everyone's like, what do you think of the gym? Everyone's talking about it. So it's like, just find something that isn't just like, hey, how are you? I see her often, but that's a commonality that you might have by being at that gym. Just say hello. Strike up a conversation and you can be like, have a great day. So practice it. Remember that approaching someone is a muscle and a habit that,

a lot of us has gotten out of because we're in our phones, we're home, we're working from home, and then we might be somewhere out and we just like stay in our phones, you know? So before we all had cell phones in our pocket, how a lot of us met was like we were in public and if you didn't have a book to read or a magazine or something, you would actually just be standing there. And it was more common to be like, hey, yeah. So is there always a line at this coffee shop or what's the best thing on the menu? Or you'd be the dry cleaner. or on the bus and you just literally were like talking to people because you just were not. But now we feel almost awkward and there's always something going on with our phone.

Okay. What do you all think about that? Do you think you, how do you feel about like talking to people when you're out and around? I'm just telling you if you leave with something tonight, when you leave your house tomorrow, I'll smile at some people and just say hello. Okay. So that's what I'm doing too. So we can all do that together.

Thank you, Big Fred, for the heart. I appreciate you. Okay, wait a minute. This is amazing because someone else said, I met my partner. Mary Lane Lemire said, I met my 12-year partner at the gym. She met a partner at the gym. So to my other questioner here said, should I approach some at the gym? That is a sign.

Absolutely, you should. Just do it in a casual kind way, right? Just don't be creepy, says babygirl. Dot Day on Instagram. She's like, says don't be creepy. All right. Great information. You guys ask me a question. Laura said on Instagram, I always remind myself that everything is contagious to give what we want in return. Yes. Give what we want to receive. Like, I want to receive more connection. So I'm smiling and talking to people. And that used to be

easier for me. Not going to lie. Before I was working from home since before like 2020, I think I was more natural at it. And now I'm like, oh yeah, I haven't been doing that lately. I'm going to do it. So, someone said, okay, so Marie, who met her partner there, how he did it, she met her partner of 12 years at the gym. He said, do you want to take a group class with me? He said, hey, you want to take this group class here at our gym? Clearly, she said yes. And now they're together for 12 years.

Thank you for sharing that. I love it. These are all great comments, you guys. I appreciate you. That's a good way to do it. Okay. So now we'll answer Marie's question. She said, my question was, how to spark back desire with both partners?

are so focused on work and career. All right, if you're just joining us here, I'm sex with Emily. We are talking about the sex questions, the things in your sex life that you didn't realize you needed to know because every night we are dropping tips and helping you actualize your sex life. Now, Marie just asked me this question, how to bring back, spark back desire when both partners are so focused on work and career. Drop a fire here, if you, emoji, if you can relate to that. and you've lost the spark, you want the spark, you want to want to have Zug to your partner,

but also you're focused on your work, your career, maybe your family. This is so common, you guys, that when we have other things going on, so I'm going to take work, for example, you're really busy with work. You might even have some stress or overwhelmed with work right now or with money. And when we have these concerns about just managing our life and our basic human needs getting met, we go into a stress. mode and then our nervous system isn't very relaxed. So what I hear is my anxiety about my anxiety is like affecting our spark. Because usually if we're really focused on work, I could also be a passionate. You could be very passionate about it too. But I find that a lot of us are like really focused on work

because we got to make ends meet. It's literally how we're going to support ourselves, make ends meet, support our family. And it's where we get a lot of our, a lot of our, you know, affirmations and a lot of our self-confidence and where we get a lot of our self-worth with work, right? So the first thing is if you feel like you need to get your spark back and you want to work on it because you're working at career, you're working so much, I would say first, this is a conversation to add with your partner where you both recognize, okay, we love our work, our work, really focused on work. Let's problem solve this together. Let's inspire each other with ways to get the spark back. And if you're both,

deciding that it's a goal of yours. And getting the spark back in your relationship is a priority, right? Which it is the most common thing in the world for couples in long-term relationships to not feel the spark anymore. Sometimes it's because of kids. Sometimes it's an illness. Something's going on. So the first thing is recognizing it.

Let's be great lovers for each other and figure out how to get that spark back. Great. That's the first step is recognizing it. The second step is getting curious. What is our, like, what would be? interesting to us. Like, what does that spark look like? When was it super sparky? When were you guys really into each other? Do you remember what was happening at that time, where there's certain things you were doing? Did you have more space in your life? Do you need to create more space

for your desire and your arousal to build? Download my yes, no maybe list. It is a free downloadable guide that I don't know what level of communication, Marie, you are at with your partner of 12 years, but for many couples my free guide at sex with Emily.com if you search yes, no maybe, is a guy, a questionnaire that on your next date night you can fill out together and it has about 100 sex acts on it. And it's like, are we, is it a yes or no or maybe? It's like spanking, oral sex, anal sex, cuddling, dirty talk and you each take the quiz and then you compare your yeses. I didn't realize you wanted me to talk dirty or like we both want that. Let's make that happen. So sometimes those little sparks.

That's like my very quick, let's do out of date night and find a few new things we can try. But beneath the spark could also be, I've just felt so anxious and worried about work. And then I would say this is a nervous system. How do you both get yourselves to feel more calm, work on anxiety, so your desire arousal and spark comes back? Okay. Loan McCray on Instagram said the yes, no, maybe is incredible. It changed our entire conversation around sex together. That's by why it's been downloaded about a million different times on my website over the years.

It's been a really great tool. Sometimes I'm like, you all heard about it, yes, no, maybe, but you haven't. Like, you're just joining me and not everyone does it, but it is one of my favorite tools to help you have like a whole list of things. Like, I did it with a partner. We had a saved note in our phone of all these things that we agreed that we wanted to try. So we instantly had, you know what Spark is made of? It's like something that you are interested in, it's something that you're both curious about.

Maybe there's been an obstacle to getting it like you didn't know you both wanted this thing. And then there's anticipation around it. There's some arousal and thinking about it. That's what's going to create the spark. Okay. So that's what I'm down with. Go download that right now at sex withemly.com. I also have a store called Shop with Emily if you guys want to start shopping for Valentine's Day.

But soon I'm going to be doing a live here where I show you all. of my favorite, favorite, favorite things. Okay, so some more questions you guys have been saying is this. Someone else said, Elizabeth on TikTok said, my partner was my next door neighbor. I love that. Great. Talk to your neighbor. Smile at your neighbor. See if you can bring the mail in for them or ask your neighbor to do something when you're out of town. We should all know our freaking neighbors, okay? But we don't. I get it. We're all really busy. Get focused on each other too. Prioritize it. Julian Cannon says, yeah, get focused on each other. to prioritize it. Keep dating each other. Never stop dating them. Never stop dating your partner. Keep

the spark going. Play games. Uh, yeah, do it. So someone Jolie said when each of you are at work and have an earbud listening to the same sex with Emily episodes and talk about it together when you've time. I'm telling you couples use my podcast. I tell you this is my 21st year of doing a podcast. And I used to get these emails or DMs from couples are like, my partner and I just drove for 12 hours and we listened to your podcast the whole time. And at first I was like, really, that's a long time to be listening. But what I realized it was because the content allowed them to be like, hey, would you want to try that? Is that something that's interesting to you? They use it as a little bit like a couple's therapy entertainment. So I love that. Lots of questions here. All right. Okay,

this is it. We have a few questions about casual sex here. Lenin Rain said, I love you, queen. my ex didn't know what he wanted and I broke up with him and I went no contact. I'm struggling to enjoy casual sex now any advice. Let's talk about casual sex for a minute, shall we? Here's the thing about casual sex. First off, I'm so proud of you that you went no contact. Do you know how hard it is to break up with someone at any time? If it's not something that's particularly like egregious, they didn't cheat on you, you didn't find out they were like a serial killer. But you're like, we just, he just doesn't know what he wants. So I'm going to go no contact.

Because when we go no contact, even, I know that it's very effective to do that for at least 90 days. Because when we go no contact, we can actually heal and figure out what we want and decide, you know, what our part in that relationship was and what we wanted to do different going forward. So that's a really big part of it. I want to remind you all, though, real quickly that you can DM or call the number on your screen. I'm sex with Emily. Answering all your questions. I'm Emily about sex dating.

love relationships. But right now we're talking about you are, you are no contact, great. But now you're struggling, anyone else struggle to enjoy casual sex. Put a little fire there if you are struggling to enjoy casual sex because now that we, we're going to get into that in a second, but we have a call and I'm going to take a call. Hello. Thanks for calling. Hello. Hi. Thanks for calling. I'm Emily. How you doing? How can I help you? Hi, Emily. Hi. I'm doing well. So I was listening in and you were talking about desire and what happens when the fire burns out. I wrote about this in one of my books,

but I wanted to see if your opinion is you agree, that they have to take the initiative. Both men and women take the initiative to prioritize it, but the man needs to also help facilitate the mental space that she could be in there in that moment with him. Yeah. Because without the lack of her mentally being able at ease, she's not going to be able to physically get herself into that,

Huge. You know, mold with him. Yes, I absolutely agree with you that the brain is our largest sex organ, and when our brain gets on board for sex, you know, our body will follow. But if we don't have the time and space because we're busy doing other things, we are at work, we're taking care of the kids, we're stressed, we don't just sometimes jump into wanting sex at the moment that maybe our partners do. So I love it.

Creating a space so she has time to get herself in the mood. Is that what? That's what you're saying, yeah? And prioritizing that. I made the analogy like a guy's like a light switch, but a woman is like a classic Porsche or something, you know, like it takes a little bit time to warm up and you have to be, you know, initiative with that. Yeah.

And you have to understand it. Exactly. So that's great. I'm just glad that we're on the same page because like I said, I wrote about this and I wanted to go through very. Congratulations on your book. I think it's great. I think that I say it this way that women are slow cookers and men are frying pans.

Like we have to understand that like we don't often get totally turned on in the moment that that our partners do. And again, gender, some people are like, oh, no, I really do. I get it. But typically, commonly, women might take a little bit more time to warm up. And so understanding what that looks like, that's like sexual intelligence I talk about, knowing what are the environments? What do I need to be doing? What helps me get closer to wanting to have sex? Do I need touch?

Do you need a massage? Yeah. kind words, you know. Do I want to play together? Do I want to like have a great conversation with you, right? So thank you for your call. I appreciate it. That's a really great point. I hope you have a beautiful evening. Thank you. You are amazing. Thank you all for being here. Thank you for your roses, for your love, for joining me. If you'd like to please subscribe to my podcast, it's Sex with Emily. You can check it out wherever you listen to podcasts. This show tonight is going to become a podcast in a few weeks where you can watch it. You can always send me your questions.

everywhere on all platforms. You can, yeah, DM me, feedback at sex to Emily.com or just text his phone number, 559 Talk Sex. You can join my membership. It's called SmartSX. It's a monthly coaching where we get together. We talk about our sex lives. I bring in other experts.

You can do one-on-one coaching. Oh, come back for some hot Valentine's Day stuff. I'm going to be out of town next week. I'm sorry, but I will be here the week after. But in the meantime, if you want to catch up in some of these lives, you can find them in the podcast. Okay, everyone, have a wonderful night. Thank you for joining me. I appreciate you all so much.

Tell a friend, share this with a friend. I'm sending you so much love and so much pleasure. Have a great night. The Madamee Holmes Bike for Brain Health supporting Baycrest returns on May 31st for its fifth anniversary with a new start and finish at the Aga Khan Museum. Join thousands of cyclists as we take over the DVP and Gardner Expressway in support of dementia research and brain health.

Riders of all abilities are welcome, and both regular bikes and e-bikes can participate. Bring your friends, family, or corporate team and make an impact. Register today at fight for brainhealth.ca.