Sex With Emily - Women Who Work It with Lisa Bilyeu

Episode Date: August 18, 2018

On today’s show, Emily sits down with the host of Women of Impact & co-founder of Quest Nutrition Lisa Bilyeu to talk about women in business and how her and her partner are the definition of #relationshipgoals. The two discuss what it’s like to work alongside your partner, but still keep it sexy and healthy, as well as ways that you both can indulge in your “selfish desires.” Plus, they talk about being a strong woman in business who also supports other women – as we all should. Thank you for supporting our sponsors who help keep the show FREE: DeoDoc, Adam & Eve, Magic Wand, Aneros Follow Emily: @sexwithemily Follow Lisa: @lisabilyeu Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. On today's show, I'm joined by the host of Women of Impact and co-founder of Quest Nutrition, Lisa Billiou, to talk about being a strong woman in business that also supports other women, as we all should. How to work alongside your partner, but still keep it sexy and healthy. Ways you can mutually indulge in your selfish desires, and why you should spend less time focusing on what's wrong with you and more time on your personal growth. All this and more, thanks for listening. Our sacred institutions, Betrubized, they call them in a fight on day. Hey, Avaline, you got a boyfriend? Because my man E here, he just got his heart broken, he thinks you're kind of cute. The girls got everything.

Oh my! The women know about shrinkage. Isn't it common knowledge? What do you mean like laundry? It's shrink? Can we not talk about sex so much? Are you kidding me? Ah, my god, I want to feel so drunk.

Being bad feels pretty good. You know, Avaline's not the kind of girl you just play with. You're listening to Sex with Emily. We're talking about sex, relationships, and everything in between for more information. Go to sexthethemely.com. Go there right now, check out our website. We've got so many great blogs and videos and podcasts.

I can help you have better sex and relationships, which is what I am all about. You can also easily subscribe to the podcast and also take our survey. First of all, here's what you find it. It's sexwithme.com slash August, and you can also find it on all of our social media, which is at Sex with Emmae Cross the board. It just takes you a few minutes, and I want to know a little more about you, the listener, what you're into, sexually, relationship-wise,

but also get a little bit feedback about the podcast, because as you know, I'm always trying to make a better show that will continue to help you all change your life. I just want to do good work for you all as you have better sex and relationship. So check it out, check out our survey. And this is gonna say, you guys always kill it with our surveys.

This is amazing. Sometimes I'm reading a survey. I read a lot of different, you know, sex studies that come out in a survey of 1,000 people. I'm like 1,000 people. We put up surveys and we've like 10,000 of you answers. So thank you all for always being supportive to our information gathering process.

So check that out. I appreciate it. And okay, onto my guest. I'm so excited to have my guest on the show today. She is a new friend and a new inspiration in my life. Lisa Bilio, hi Lisa. It's so funny.

We are sitting here in her home and her studio where I just did, she's got a new show coming out called Women of Impact, but it is not her first rodeo. Lisa is truly an inspiration, Cheezay. World class entrepreneur, she is a co-founder of the billion dollar company, Quest Nutrition, that she built alongside her husband from scratch, which I'm just so amazed by her story. It's really inspiring. She started in her right, in your living room floor, is where I shipped the first ball. She shipped it. And I Quas. I met her, I'm like, I love Quas,

but she's doing so many more things now, as well as she turned her town to marketing, help at her second division within Quas. She's got an in-house media department. We're sitting, this is your in-house department. We had, so we built one at Quas. And you were at Quas. And then decided that it still wasn't

giving us enough fulfillment, so then we built four more sets in our house. So when you request her team which is sponsored with producing content as we viewed over 200 million times, she's the co-founder and president of Impact Theory, host of Women of Impact, her mission is really to create impact in the world and empower women of all ages to see and believe they can be anything they set their minds to. You truly, you are doing that through all the work you've been doing with your husband, Tom, teaching, teaching, working to help build things

that actually matter. You were the co-host of the Shirok Podcast, which I loved. Thank you. I've been. Thank you. About female power and you continue to do that. And she's on Instagram.

It's at LisaBilio, L-I-S-A-B-I-L. Why E-U? And so I meant Lisa because I was here a few months ago doing the Mind Pump podcast, which I know you guys have all loved the show. The Mind Pump guys are amazing. And I came in, I walked into this beautiful home. I'm a Holland Drive, which I've lived in Los Angeles

for over five years now. I think I went to another part of here, but we just all kind of stay in our little areas in Los Angeles. And it's just like beautiful home where you've built the studio. And you and your husband, I met you guys after the show and I was like, she's adorable.

And she's a powerhouse in smart. And you guys said you did a thing on Facebook, which I didn't really know. And I looked at my thing, they just seemed cool. And then you listen to the show and you reached out to be a part of your show. And I was like, well, let's get, you would listen to the Mind Pump show after it came out.

And then we had dinner like this doesn't happen a lot. I have to say, I meet a lot of cool, interesting people, but we had this great dinner. We went to Boa's Steakhouse, which I love in Los Angeles, and we like didn't stop talking for hours. And I come to find out that she is this amazing entrepreneur and a powerhouse, everything you've touched

has just really no had a major impact. And I'm a huge fan of Quest and Trish and Bart, which are literally everywhere on the planet now. I believe, right? Pretty much yeah. But you've also also filed your own dreams and you've worked really hard with your husband and so what I love is they got married 19 years ago. We've been together for 18 years and we've been married for 16 years. Okay. So I was young, I was 21. So young. Yeah. And you met he was your teacher. He was. I love that story. And the fact that you are you met in school, you had this little crash that it became your romance and then through all of this because Nothing was handed to her or her husband. They built a company from scratch that they sold it was grew in record time.

Yeah, we grew continues. So yeah, we grew 57,000%. No, what that means. I don't even know what that means. It's a lot. A lot of zeros. Yeah, within three years. And so we went from zero to a billion dollars within five years. And we're announced as second fastest growing company in North America. The funny thing is, when we hit number two, everyone was like, shit, we didn't get to number one, but it keeps you hungry. And then a year later, the number one company actually we followed for bankruptcy. So we're like, hmm, does that technically mean that? You're number one now. No, not any longer. It's like, they take a certain period of time. So it's like within three years, how quickly have you grown? And we'd grown 57,000% and the number one spot,

some grew something like 58,000%. But in a year they end up going bankrupt and obviously quests are still around. So that is really impressive. And the other thing was just hearing the stories about you in time because it's first of marriage isn't easy. Being in a long-term marriage isn't easy. And then you guys work together, build a company together, being an entrepreneur is one of the biggest challenges, there's so many ups and downs. But besides the fact that you're a kick ass support of hilarious woman who's like smart and insightful, funny, and I literally think we were like competitive talking and they're really positive. I'm like, oh my god,

yes, yes, back and forth. I was like, your marriage is just adorable, not to even downplay like just how do you guys get through this? And I thought you have to come my show and share the story. So can you tell me a little bit about how you guys met and the whole like how you continued to? Let's talk about your story about how you met. Yeah, so going back to like, he was my teacher, but I wasn't, it was a school for adults we were doing filmmaking and I got a degree in England, felt like I still didn't get enough experience in the directing world, found a brochure that basically advertised the New York Film Academy in Los Angeles and you got to go on the back lots of Universal Studios, it's a private so you pay money and

you just go, it's just like this is a dream come true, I get to film, I get to be in America which I was obsessed with, I want to be the first female movie director to ever win Academy Award, I said I didn't get there because Gavin Bigelow beat me to it. And so I was like cool, I'll go to America, I'll go for three months and I'll study for two and I'll have a blast and it'll be a great story and great experience. Cut to me walking into first day, Thomas standing there and he was my teacher. And he's only four years older than me but he was teaching a class and yeah, the first month he completely ignored me, which of course got me even more interested. And eventually when he asked me out on a day,

I was like, okay, this is going to be really fun. Like, I'm going to hook up with my teacher. He's American. It's going, you know, the summer fleeing. It's going to be a great story for me to tell my friends when I go back to England. And when I'm 90, I can say, yeah, you know, to my grandkids. Yeah, your grandma was the ones who wanted to call you, she had a fling with American. He just got out of a relationship where she went a little nuts, so he's like, this is fantastic. She has to legally leave the country because Avisa only allows her to stay for so long. So on our first day, we were both brutally ourselves. Because there was no like, you know, trying to, you know, a lot of women, like they try not to be like too full-on. The guy tries to be cool and romantic. But we literally on our first day, he kind of said things about sex, about relationships.

I'd never heard the guy be so honest about. And it was that honesty that I was then drawn to. Because I was like, no, guys, I've been this honest before. So I think our relationship stems from just that starting point where we were so brutally ourselves, we weren't trying to pretend to be different people. We weren't trying to put on the airs and graces or anything like that. And we've lived like that to this day in a look of course we've had her doors, but our biggest thing is our communication and our honesty. Even if you think that it may hurt the other person's feelings, if you can do it with approach it with respect and understanding and compassion, you have to be honest for both of your sakes.

So you have to say the hard things, you can't hide, you can't pretend. We don't even tell each other white lies. So to the point where one time I forgot to give my puppy, he was out on business, I forgot to give my puppy medication. And it was just, you know, he takes it every day, it was once it wasn't gonna kill him, but like I completely forgot on the next day,

I felt so guilty, I felt like a terrible mother. I felt like, oh my God, he's going to judge me. But it's like I have to tell him because even by not telling him, I felt like I was lying and our relationship is built on 100% transparency. So I literally was like, I'm so sorry. I'm not doing it. He's like, it's all right. But, you know, like, it's not going to die. It's fine.

But I had to tell him. And that's kind of a good example of how we build up. We build up relationship. I mean, I think we're hearing that it's like there are so many rules that people have around dating like you can and I've even talked around the show like probably shouldn't talk about your exes in the first date or where you hated a bottom and all these things, but there's a certain level of brutal honesty that life is too short to play games. So you guys kind of cut right to it and you're like, well, we're being really honest because you kind of have that false belief that it wouldn't go anywhere. But I'm just wondering like, what a great tip for people listening if they're going on a date just to be yourself, like bring yourself to the table. I mean, bring who you are

right up there on the first date. I'm not saying you have to share every deep, dark thing, but there is a level of like, don't pretend to be something you're not because then you got to keep up that facade for every invite as well. Be real. So you guys have been together now. So that was super honest, and you started with a level of honesty. You know, maybe think about this.

My mother said to me, oh, we said this to me, and I remember this, she said the issues you have, the issues you have on the third date you have forever. And I've never actually asked someone that's in a long-term relationship. So if you think about the challenges you have, was there anything that's present now, maybe that you were still, that was present on the third date?

I'm going to say something that may seem tiny, but in the scale of things, I think can be a big issue. He's really messy. And I'm really tidy. And so, on that first day, he invited me back to his place. And of course, he keeps saying, like, oh, I'm not the type of guy that wants sex on the first. The first day, of course, I go back to his place and he proposes sex. And I'm just like, I think the guy that do one sex on the first

day, but I go to his place and is a mess. And the funny thing is in knowing that you're good. That's a great example though. It's not tiny. But it may seem silly. And I think that that's where people get trapped. It's like, well, I'm not really going to, you know, nitpick. And, you know, but the problem is, is that that can, it's like what we call dust settling, right? One thin layer of dust after you've, you know, wiped this late clean, one thin layer isn't too bad. You don't really see it, it's not a big deal,

doesn't feel dirty, but you do 10 years of layers of dust that you've never wiped away. That becomes, you know, a crazy amount of dirt. So, for us, like, so it may seem small, but it was one of those things that we actually would, like, really butt heads over as we started to get deep into our relationship. Like, for instance, making the bed, I was brought up, it may seem silly, but you make your bed every morning. And one time it really bugs me because I would clean the house, I would be super tidy

and he just won't care. And I felt like that was almost a reflection of how the respect. So I'm like, oh, you don't respect me enough to make the bed. And until we had the real world conversation, he's like, no, I think of myself as I only have a certain amount of hours in my day. If I have a certain amount of hours and I've got a goal to achieve, does make in the bed move me towards my goal or away from my goal? And if it moves me away from my goal babe, then I'm not going to do it. And I need you to understand that this is fundamentally who I am. And so immediately I was like, wow, that was so enlightening because it wasn't like you're just freaking messy.

It was like, wow, he's really thought about why this is a waste of time because he used to get angry with me for asking him. until I understood why he would get angry I used to think like but you disrespect him how tight he the house is so when he was very honest about that and saying it was more about how he felt and his goal in life I was like we shit I'm not gonna bug you about the bed and nothing right exactly it seems like a very little thing I mean I think it doesn't have to be these huge things, but it's little tiny things that don't change. What do you think you would say about you?

Um, the I focused tightness over other things that were more important. Right. Well, I think that's a great yin-ing. Yeah. So my curiosity is they always say like, it's really, it can be really hard to, like I said, be an entrepreneur,

but then also how do you guys work together and play together? What do you think that you've done, like, also, how do you guys work together and play together? What do you think that you've done? Like, to, how do you do all the value or all? Yeah, I love the question, because it comes down to a simple rule that we have, is what is your position in that dynamic and what are your responsibilities?

So think about, for instance, if you go for a job interview, you know what job title they want, right? Okay, so I need the CEO, right? Okay, well what are the responsibilities of a CEO? Okay, they're responsible for X, Y and Z. So we literally sat down and we said, what is that in our relationship? What is your role?

What is my role? What are your positions? What's my positions? What are your responsibilities? What are my responsibilities? Now, the interesting thing is, is sometimes what you want your position to be isn't necessarily what your partner wants your position to be. So we had both columns. So one column is what do I, like if I'm the wife, okay, what does that mean to me as the wife? But babe, what does it mean to you

for me to be a good wife to you and do things overlap, do things come into conflict. Same with him, what am I looking for on a husband? I want a guy who when someone robs me, breaks into my house, I want to turn to him and say, baby, you're going to go, but you know, kick his ass. Of course, I think I can handle myself, but when you get down to those nearly gritty's of what are the responsibilities as my husband, I want you to be my protector. Now again, that doesn't mean that I'm a victim, that doesn't mean that I'm a damsel in distress. Trust me, if I have to find by myself, I'll take care of myself.

You need to see this woman here, she could kick your ass. She's a tiny little tough, smart, strong thing. But women, you want to feel protected? Right, and so being able to own that and not feel like, okay, that makes me inadequate, that makes me a weak woman, we had those talks. So I'm trying to picture this talk, because I know it's like, did you literally write down a list of what your roles and responsibilities are? Was this one conversation, was this over time?

Because I remember this also, we talked a little bit about it dinner, but I found it just fascinating, because it's so logical. I think every couple needs to figure out like what are you even if it's like you're the one who gets the groceries, I make the bed. You know whatever it is, you turn off the lights at night. It's also important to sort out big and small who pays the bills. And everything for us stem from what's the goal as a couple. So we set that like you have to set your goal. So before you even do the tactical or the job responsibilities is what's the goal and do we agree on it? All right, so what's the goal of the family? For me and Tom, it was to pursue our dreams in creating impact. Okay, so if we

know that was when you first met 18 years ago, that's a good question. Probably not, it's developed over time, but it was to pursue our dream and we were both film students. So, okay, what is that dream to make movies? All right, of course. If we agree, we want to make movies, we want to be direct, as we want to be writers, what does that entail? Okay, there's going to take a shit ton of hard work. Okay, so now, if we agree, it's going to take a shit ton of hard work, what are the things that could get in the way of that? So like making the bed, like, so, because I was used to doing things like that, the housewife things, and he was okay, does that move to us towards our goal, or does it not? And so we would literally write all the things we want, and then decide, is that the right

move to then do? So we did that initially in our, when we first got together, but it evolves, right? You do. You do change. Are you constantly talking about these things in your relationship and like where is it now? Yes, 100%. Because when we had decided we were going to pursue film, we went down the route of trying to make our own short films, right, our own movies, and then realized, okay, this isn't going to work because you have to go to people with your hand out to try and get money, right, to finance

your movies. So Tom turned around, he's like, okay, we have to make our own, we have to make our own money. That means we need to get into business. All right, what does that business look like? So again, we then sat down again and said, okay, what does this mean? If he's going to do 14, 18 hour days at work, then someone needs to then take care of the house. All right, babe, so I will decide I'll be the housewife. I didn't like that word. So we actually gave me the title of seat president and CEO of But you enterprises. Which is not to care of the house. But the title matter to me may be so good. Right. Yeah. For you, better than house. So if I get it. So we said, okay, so what does that look like? Okay, I'll stay at home.

I'll support you. Don't have to think of anything for you to be able to crush it. For that long, every single day, I don't want you to think about the bills, the house. All right. So what are activities? All right. So that means I have to think about the bills, the house, all right, so what are our activities? All right, so that means I have to take care of X, Y, Z, you have to do X, Y, Z. So then as we developed and then we went into quest, he turned around, he's like, I need your help. So him and his two business partners were like,

hated their business, they were doing, it was, they were sucking their soul, and as the wife, I was like, I can't keep doing this because as my husband, I can see that you're miserable now and you're not the same human that, you know, I'm married. You can't keep doing this because as my husband I can see that you're miserable now and you're not the same human that you know, I'm out. You don't have that spark. So as a couple we sat down again and we said, okay, what are our goals now? All right, we're going to start this new business. What does that mean? Well, they couldn't give up the other company. It was what was bringing in the money.

So we're like, we'll do this on weekends. So that means, Lisa, you need to help. All right, babe, so what do I need to do? Okay, you need to ship bars. You need to weigh the ingredients where you have to get roll imping. We need to rent a kitchen. So we started making protein bars in our spare time. Well, he was him and his business partners were still going to work every day. And then as I started doing that, and I started like shipping from our living room floor, and then we had enough orders that I was shipping from our friends garage. And then, oh my God, god we've got enough orders we need a facility. I was pretty much the only one that kind of knew shipping so I just kept going and I ended up doing that for over two years I built our shipping department from zero to 80 million dollars in revenue. I had 40 employees under me and I went

from a housewife to this. I had no idea what I was doing but I knew I couldn't let my husband and my partner in crime down because he was responsible no idea what I was doing, but I knew I couldn't let my husband and my partner in crime down, because he was responsible for one thing, I was responsible for the other. So for what I was responsible, I had to learn. Now in learning though, I started having to overcome challenges, so for instance, our first office was in Compton,

and our first employees were gang members or ex-criminals. They worked really hard, and it's people who really wanted a different life. So it wasn't like, you know, well, we were just slumming it. These guys were hard workers. The problem is this an attitude that comes with it. And working in the warehouse for me, building the shipping department, I had guys that were six foot, I'm five foot one, right? And I'm, you know, I've got the British accent and, you know,

but I would have guys six foot five with tattoos on their neck, criminals, and I was like, I can't let them rule me. I can't let them destroy the company. So I had to show them who was boss. So my personality had to change. The way that I would communicate with people had to change.

So I went from being super nurturing, kind of, I wouldn't say timid, because I was always like, lighter like strong old woman, but my personality changed. So I had to sit down with home again because I was becoming a different type of wife. So he said to me, baby, you're hardening. And we had that conversation. What did that look like though? You're hardening. Like it was, you're hardening with him as well. Yeah. So explain that to me. And because I was at the workplace having to be very decisive, right?

Not like, oh, whatever you want. It's like, no, this is my fucking company. I better make sure that I make the right decision. So if someone came with me to a problem, I had to make a hard decision. I had to make it as a strong woman because there can't be any doubt. The second you were employees or your people see

that you're not confident in your decision, they don't trust you. They're not going to turn to you as a leader. And I noticed that. So I was like, all right, I have to be very confident. I have to make decisive decisions. I can't take people's emotions or into account, which is the very male way of being. So how do you think that in a way, we can't male now, but we have to adapt to those,

to those traits, I guess. So was there a way that Tom was a, was a meant to be teaching those things? Was like, let's maybe go out to go and go and make decisions? You just kind of barbed in with the figured out. So I literally figured out now because he was running marketing, we weren't with each other every day. We were working in the same company, but on a daily basis, I was in the warehouse with 40 employees getting product in,

shipments in, shipments out, doing the GNC, dealing with the big companies. And he was over in the marketing department and R&D and working with those guys. So it was a daily activities with difference. So he started to notice difference when we were at home. So you'd come home and you were like, babe, get the, get the meals together.

I don't know, but I don't know if it was like that, but there was definitely hardening where sometimes he would say something and I wouldn't be sweet about it anymore, right? So you'd snap or whatever. Yeah, just like, no, I don't want that. What are you doing? You know, like, whoa, whoa. Yeah, and so, wife, right? Because he wasn't used to that. And so, we sat down and he was very honest with him. He said, we need to address this. We need to address to see if it's the right move for us as a relationship. So, it's like, okay, he said, okay, babe, look, I've never seen you happier than I've seen you now

So step one always want good things for your partner no matter what that means So he's like I want good things for you babe and I see how happy you are and so if you're really happy doing this But you have to harden to do this position. He recognized that. He's like so as a team because we think of it as We're two people on the same team, right? Playing in a league. Not we're on opposing teams, right? So in tennis, it's not like he's one side of an N.I. I'm being blessed, I think,

that for people to look at it, it's your relationship, even though you're working in business or not, it is a partnership. You both want the same things, you're networking separate. It's that tennis. Yeah, yeah.

So he was like, I love seeing the joy in your face. I love seeing the sparkle in your eye. If this means that your personality is changing in order to become this, he's like, I support you. But there's a fine line. And then we spoke about what that fine line is and how I somehow, you know, leave that partly at work and that when I'm at home, he still wants the nurturing wife. And he was honest, he's like, I still want a wife that nurtures me. So it's like, cool, I respect that. Because I'm still making demands of him as my husband and it's okay to do that. But I think you have to have that open communication and then get each other's buy-in. Right. Like, do you buy into this? Right. That's so, so specific that he was able to,

you both were able to do this. The two of you, it just seems like it is operating like a business, but there's still a sweetness and a romance to it and a, and a real love and connection that kept growing, not taking away this, this relationships could totally blow apart with this kind of pressure you guys had. So I guess what you're saying is it really just all come down to really just communications. Yeah. 100% because we even said, you know, at Quest and even with impact theory is at Quest he was the president of the company and at impact theory he's the CEO and you know it's like small little differences but he's still technically my boss. And so we sat then now on paper, impact theory with 50-50 and I didn't even ask him for that. He came to me,

in fact he turned around to the lawyer and he's a create the the biggest divorce nightmare He's like because I need my wife to know that she brings just as much value to the company as I do now for my point of You I'm like, I don't think I do and that's not to minimize what I do at all I feel freaking confident of what I bring to the table and I think that this company couldn't run without me But I don't think I bring more to the table or just as much as he does. So I was like, hey, if you wanna do 51% and 14, I'm like, there's no dent to my ego at all.

And he's like, no, hell no. Because this company can't run without you, and I want you to know that even if, and even says, like, if you went and cheated on me to attend different people, he's like, you still deserve half. Because we're able to separate the business and the emotional. But in saying that, it's not easy, right? I don't want this to sound like it's a fairy tale. There are moments where we disagree about what to do with the company.

So we revert back to what was our agreement. Okay, the agreement is he's a visionary and he's greater than. And from an unbiased perspective, from the outside, I can legitimately say, he's like, he's next level on a vision on what we do with the company where we go. So I'm in, like I believe in him. I believe that he should, he's the right person for the job. And so because I know he's the right person for the job,

if we disagree and he can't convince me, we're like, okay, well, we've agreed in our sober moment, right? To not being in that moment of emotion. I love that. Let's just say it's a sober moment, but it's not being caught up in emotion, which can be very tricky to separate half in all the times emotion from the actual, the facts and what's really going on. Right.

Which is why you have to agree in your sober moments, because the moment you get into the motion, the sober emotions. Yeah. So we sober facts and then emotions. Exactly. So we've decided in our sober moments that if we come to a head and we both agreed on this, if we came to a head and we disagreed and he couldn't convince me and I couldn't convince him, who gets final say and we both agreed it makes sense for him and I'm very okay with

that. But in the house. In the house, yeah. yeah, it's different. So we've agreed if there's something about the function in the house, for instance, there's 23 people at the work at my house every single day, and I get final say. And so if there's certain things that are important to me,

like, okay, I don't want this to be done, I don't want employees to do this, or I don't think that this room should be taken over, or emotionally, I don't like the fact that this happens. Like he respects it, I get the final say and I make the decision. So we fare you guys sit down. I mean really, I was listening to the way you guys communicate and the way you guys really cover all these beasts.

You know, people don't even have a business together and their home is just, you go to a separate job, separate lives. I think there's such a great example of people to think about. Where are you a team, whether you have kids or just about who decides what you watch on Netflix, if you need to talk about, they're not just gonna sort themselves out

because resentments do build over time. Oh my God. They really do. So let's talk about how would it was so busy during those times that even now, how do you keep the romance going? So that's another thing not to, in fact, yes, we get very sure teacher kind of, you to, in fact, yes, we get very strategic on it.

And people are like, oh, but doesn't that pull the romance out? No, not at all. Because for me, it's about, first of all, it's the time. We're so busy, here's so busy. And so it's like, when do we find the time? So I think time is very important. I, we deal with the way the world, the way it is, not the way the world we hope it should be.

So we say, how is the actual world? The truth is, is that I get needy way before he does. I don't take that seriously. You just know that you're gonna get need it. For his attention, it's the affection. For like, he's so driven and focused on work that he may not realize that we've gone two weeks without having a date like that.

He just might think about it. And that doesn't mean that he doesn't love me. And he less. I get it. That's so important. Right. The female, but that's such an important distinction that we often project onto our partners. This whole, like, they're doing it because they don't love me and they're against me.

I'm pretty convinced that if you're partners with you, they want you to be happy, they want you to have your needs met. And you guys know that intrinsically, you just feel like you get it. So, date night, you're like, so he wants to make me happy. It's just his markers and not the same as my markers. So we've agreed, okay, what's the key communication?

All right, babe, so if I know that I get to that point before you, I'm gonna speak up and what are the rules of engagement? The rules of engagement then become I talked to my polymerins and I said babe, I need date night and so he'll typically say which is sometimes now I kind of bypass even telling him I go straight to our assistant. I'm like I need date night Let's put it in the calendar. I want it scheduled because otherwise we'll keep going. So it's important to recognize. So now we do, at least we try to do it, at least once a week, every Saturday is our date day. And so we book it, we schedule it, and we put our phones down.

And you're sacred time. And so I'll say, could time. And then we sit down on that day and say, what are our selfish desires? Okay, let's go and I love my job. I was like, I love selfish desires. Let's talk about that. And then we're gonna get into some new stories and I want you to help me answer some questions. Sounds a clip open. I loved, I love self-hospheres. Let's talk about that. And then we're gonna get into some new stories

and I want you to help me answer some questions. Sounds great. I loved, I came back, I was like, listen to this. Let's talk about self-hospheres. Yeah, so people live very busy lives, right? I don't think it's just me and Tom who have a business together. I think it's when you've got a family and you're running around with your kids

and it's play dates and people are working and at some point you want time for yourself. It doesn't mean you don't want to be with your partner, it doesn't mean that you don't love them but it just means you know what I freaking need a loan time or I want selfish time. I want to sit in front of the TV and watch you know the real housewives, Beverly Hills and I just want to indulge like that's okay and it's important I think to prioritize those things as well. So what we do is we have selfish desires. So we sit down every week and we say, all right, we've got time with each other,

Saturday's blocked off, what is your selfish desire? It could be, hey, I just want to stay in bed all day and have sex. Cool, great, be honest. It may be, I want to watch crappy movies. It may be, I want to swim, I want to read whatever it is. And we, for the weekend, cover up what your self says. Exactly. You'll talk right on Thursday. Right. Or in fact,

to be honest, sometimes we start on the day, yes, at a day morning. And so we have that discussion every single day, day or night, we have that discussion. And so we go, okay, what are the things you want to do today? And we figure out, A, how do we make sure that it happens? And then B, how do we make sure that we then do things together? So, let's say he wants to read, and I want to swim. All right, so I'm going to swim, bring your book down by the pool, and now I feel like we're hanging out, I can every time I'm doing a lap, I can look up, I can wave at you, you can blame your kids,

and then we get what we want. Because you're still together, there's still intimacy, but it doesn't mean you need to block off the whole day, and you're going, you're going, whatever, couples, a hiking or movies, it's just the two of you.'t mean you need to block after a whole day and you're going, you're going whatever couples are hiking or movies. It's just the two of you. Exactly. Because we all have lives too.

We busy lives, you still want to swim, you still want to watch TV or something. Exactly. Or like if he wants to, sometimes he's like, look, I really have to work, I just need to know, but I have to work. I want to respect that because I understand we've made goals together and for him to achieve that he needs to do that. So also, right babe, can you put on, bring up your laptop, sit with me and bed with your laptop. I'll watch TV, but I'll get to cuddle him. So literally he types with one hand sometimes.

I'm like cuddled in the knuck of his arm and I'm watching my crappy TV and he's tipped together. See, I love that. See, that's very innovative. It's like a business in a relationship. Exactly. And then, so that's how we get our selfish desires. But then we do say, okay, let's go out for dinner. What do you want? And then sometimes one of us will trump the other one. You've got to choose dinner. Last time, I'm going to choose dinner this time.

And we try to put our phones away. And then we just become super engaged with each other. And we're having one on one time with each other. Or we play video games, which is amazing. Because you get to go back to it. It's not tennis, you're on the same team. It's a real way of us kind of like rooting each other, like, oh, I've got your back.

Someone's coming from the right. I've just shot him for you. Like, we really do, like, because it's a shooting game that we play. And we're on the same team. At Destiny. Okay, Destiny too. I don't know, but I know that my weapons keep saying,

we just have to win against it. We spoke about it. And I haven't done it yet. You really have to okay because I'm inspiring me and I'll be so happy like they bring up the And his and the first reason how he got me to play video games was he was like you know A first of all like I'd really love you to play He's like you know how meaningful it'd be for you just to sit with me and play for an hour Even if you're bad,, it would be so meaningful. And I was like, you know what?

What a great word. Yeah. Raising of it too. Yeah, it's all in the phrasing. So I was like, you know what, babe, I'll do that. And so that same day, going back to selfish desires, he wanted to play video games and I wanted to go shopping. So he said, all right, babe, if you play video games with me for an hour, I'll come shopping with you.

I was like, cool, let's do it. So we went shopping together and he's very smart. I know, I know it was a strategy, it was a very smart strategy, but he came shopping and he's like, all right, babe, we walk into the shop and he's like, what are you looking for? And I was like, I'm thinking about some pants. He's like, all right, I'll attack this section. You attack that section.

I'm going to pull some pants that I think you look really sexy on and I'll give it. And before he was so engaged. And I was like like this is the best shopping experience of my life and I get it. The reason why I was doing it was when I go home to play video games I'm not bitching a moaning like I can't fucking believe you're making me play video games because that's the other part like if you're gonna do something for your partner do it with a smile and when I went home I was getting shot left right and, but I was giggling and I was laughing because I knew how much it meant to him and be, what sweetness he just did for me. Exactly. It is a quid proko.

You do have to kind of give to receive, receive to give. I think we forget we get in this victim mode with our partners. I think that's really, really inspiring. I love that you guys. I love how you guys, really it is this case of communication that I have not heard the detail, this level of detail and intricacies that you guys have gone through. It is very, a lot of it just seems it's business,

a lot of it's business strategies and how you deliver, but it's just, it kind of just works, and it's even inspiring me. I know. I love it. Thank you for sharing all that. I'm sure. Please send me a bill of you.

Okay, we're gonna take a quick break, we're gonna get some sex and news, and then answer emails, and we'll be right back. Everyone, thanks for supporting our sponsors. I love you all. Okay, Lisa, have me with this. There is a study that came out. Well here's a question.

Does women making more money cause a strain in marriage? So this is an age oldold stereotype that men were the sole breadwinners of the house and women tended to stay home. And now that tale has flipped, according to some new data from the Bureau of Labor, it says 29% of women in heterosexual marriages make more than their spouse. Now they might not seem like much, but it's definitely an increase in 1987. It was only 18% of wives. So instead of the celebration though, according to several reports, many women fear this could end their relationship.

Another study from the University of Chicago found that a wife making even $5,000 a year more than her husband was associated with a greater risk of divorce. So the biggest issues though are communication and support. Confront the money issues you have had on instead of letting them fester, understand it there, or more ways, then a partner can contribute that money.

What do you think about this? Like about the impact of money and a relationship, or just too many friends this has been a situation with, where if the woman makes more in a relationship, or what do you think about that? I think it's very real. And I think it comes down to what are your expectations in that marriage and what are your needs?

Does your husband or the man need to be earning more money because they feel like it's more masculine? Is that like from low self-esteem because they're not feeling like that in other areas of their life? Is that something that the woman also agrees? Like, what is your need from your partner? As an example, Tom, for like the last two years,

almost we've been really building his social, like I create a massive, like just tons of content and it really is just to build Tom and his social platform. And then I started doing a sha, a kingdom woman of impact. And part of me was like, oh, what if I get bigger than him? Mm. And funny women, we, I'll madly want to play small. Yeah, that's how we're wired. Yeah.

And I literally, I was like, I have to talk to him about this. Because I don't, I don't want to not, right? Like if I'm going to do something, I'm going to go all in, I want to be the frickin best in the world. So like, I don't want my husband to feel bad, but I need to talk about it right now before it happens. And the fact that you had that thought. Yes.

Yeah, I was like, I'm thinking this. So I need to talk to him about it. So I was trying to like, pussy foot around it a little, like, and I was like, so what do you think? I'm like, the new show, and like, what if it gets big? And he was like, and he figured out what I was trying to say like After all this time I should have just come out and say it but um, so he figured it out and he's like look babe

He's like I want good things for you. That's my primary goal And he's like if that means that you're gonna freaking be the biggest in the world He's like I'm gonna help you get there and whatever I can do to help you get there because How he would feel it would just be like that's not fair on you. Like, your success shouldn't be a reflection of how that's making me feel on the negative. And so we just had the on this conversation. He's like, no, go freaking crush it. You better be the best in the world.

You better represent the big new name. But is that your own thing then? Do you think it's kind of sudden as we ask, like, you were worried about if he's bigger, like, do you guys ever get competitive in your relationship because you built something together and you work together? So there's your certain level of that. No, no, no, at all. Because going back to we're playing, we're on the same team. And we're so true. I think we just all remember that.

So even if it's like if somebody is earning $5,000 more, if it's the wife, you know, and the guy starts getting feeling like low self-esteem, I think as a wife you should sit with them and talk to them about it and just be non-judgmental, non-defensive and say, look, I love what I do, you know, if this was me, right? I would say, baby, I love what I do, I love my job, it's given me so much satisfaction, but I do worry that me earning more than you is actually having a negative impact on you and I want you to be able to talk to me about it, because if it's something that I can help you with, and we can do this together, then please let me know what that means.

Are you not feeling masculine? Are you not feeling like the dominant alpha male in the family? Okay, well let's address that. What am I doing in the house that can help you with feeling like that is a certain decisions you'd like to make that I make, Like be very honest.

Right, exactly. Don't push this under the rug or have it be the elephant or the room. It's actually money. It's like money and sex, the two biggest killers of divorced and kids. So kids, money and sex are three the biggest killers of relationship or reasons for divorce.

And so I think it is true though, this thing about money and I get it, it is true that men actually, whenever a friend's having like, yeah, my heart's been husband or my partner has been feeling kind of sad, they kind of depressed. I'm like, how's he doing financially? How's he doing with work? And it is true that men, not that they can't impact women, but when men particularly are struggling for, you know, job security, financial, they can immediately feel emasculated, like

not as confident due to the, which is kind of, you know, the street of the gathers, the hunter taking care of their home. And I do think that times are changing. Women are, you know, in many ways making as much as men, more in certain situations, and that just talking about and saying, what are the real things going on here? Like, do you want to be the one that puts on the credit card or we're out to dinner? Because it could be civil signs like that. Like, where is this money thing really a challenge? Because I don't want any of this to hold women back at all. I think the study is saying that it can have an impact, but it doesn't have to have an impact.

And I love what you just said about the credit card thing. Like, that's so true. Like, when we go out for dinner, I want Tom to pay. And look, we have the same credit card. They come from the same account. But like, no, I want him to take out his credit card and I want him to pay. And that makes him feel a certain way. But that was actually, I think, instigated by me. Yeah, because when he's like, I didn't. But like, no, I want him to take out his credit card and I want him to pay and that makes him feel

a certain way. But that was actually, I think, instigated by me. Yeah, because on 80s, like I didn't see the check and you're like, no, I don't want to get into my wallet. Yeah, just, it's just, it's like the emotional attachment and don't be afraid to be open about that emotion because I think that the second you start to shame it, you start to pretend it doesn't exist,

you feel petty saying it out loud, it just spirals out of control. I think that that is just such a great theme of the show right now that literally with your listening show and you're nodding your head, you're going, oh, but I could never say that. Yeah, at least it's right. It's worked for her, but my husband's going to freak out.

Or my partner's going to freak out. I feel like if you're thinking that, I want you to put that aside and then go back to, wait a minute, maybe they won't. Maybe it could actually bring us to go there or maybe they will freak out, but that's going to give you new ground to play and more information just kind of keep having at home and being honest, being honest, because this stuff, if you don't address these things, they absolutely do grow bigger, they fester, and it will just

kind of cause you more wreak more havoc down the road. So I think that just being honest and being truthful and communicating about every little thing is so important. Sorry. just being honest. I mean, truthful and communicating about every little thing. And the important, sorry. And then the other thing, last day I wanna add is, then address, okay, well, if you don't want me making more money than you, so like what is the actual, like, stop living in the fantasy world.

If me earning more, $5,000, $10,000, $100,000 more than you, what are you actually looking for? Do you want me to queer? Right, like just, no bullshit. What do you actually wanna do? Do you want me to quit? Right? Like just no bullshit. What do you actually want to do? Because if it was me and Tom and Tom's like, yes, babe, I want you to quit. I would say, okay, I hear what you're saying. I respect it, but here's why that doesn't sit well with me. I find my identity in my job. I get so much joy out of my job. So it's not just about quitting the job. It's about now you're asking me to be a human, the person that I'm not.

And if you're asking me to be somebody I'm not, what are the consequences of that? I think I'd be upset, I'd be depressed. I think I'd struggle, right? Like being real about like, I guess. And like, And like, exactly,

it's super granular. The thing is you're very self-aware. People often don't even know what's driving them. So I guess there is a, what I've also learned for you today is that there is a little bit of work that goes into these conversations, right? So I think we can all kind of think Before you have that conversation that's making you so anxious or you're worried I pertin is gonna react really sit down and think about Why am I having this conversation? What would be my ideal outcome? You know, what is that gonna look like?

And I think to start thinking about that you are a team and if you both want the same things What's the best way to communicate it? Thank you, Lisa. So helpful. I love having you on. This is very insightful and I think, you know, guys, are my new model relationship. I know we don't get out of the new degree area,

but it seems like you guys have got this down and everyone's gonna be just as inspired as I am. Okay, well, you help me answer some emails from the people. That's the, I would love it. Okay, everyone, thank you so much for emailing me. I love hearing from you. It's why I exist on the planet. You can text Ask Emily all one more to 7979.

7979, fill out the short form or you can go to sexfailment.com, click on the Ask Emily tab and include your name, your age, where you live and how you listen to this show. Okay, you guys, we also do call shows, which I really love doing, because we guys love the emails that you send and they're very in detail and sometimes I think I wish we could just do a call. So there is a box you can check that says yes

I'd like to be called and then we're gonna call you and we're gonna sort out all your challenges. I can probably change your life in about five minutes or less if I get you on the phone. So let's do that as well. This is from Joe33Ohyl. I really need help with this one Emily. My wife and I have been together 8 years and have 4 kids. Recently my wife decided that we should watch porn together while having sex. We usually have sex 6 nights a week. Very often she is an orgasm and then falls asleep before I can have one and then leaves

me disappointed. With the whole porn thing, I am so turned on that I have a hard time not finishing first which is a wonderful change. I also feel liberated with the porn because now I don't want to watch alone, I only watch it watch it with her and I used to feel really bad if I ever did alone. Sheena is watching but doesn't have the same body as them so she feels like I'm just getting off to them and she's masturbating me. This is not how I feel though.

I just feel that porn enhances it. What can I say to assure that it's still about her? I feel like I've won the lottery, but if I make the wrong move, it'll all come crashing down. I'm so satisfied now that I'm even more into her and it's only brought me closer. We both enjoy watching girls make out with each other. Is that so wrong?

A week ago, she suddenly said, we can't do it anymore. But then, she wanted to the past two nights. Do I just shut my mouth and make it her idea and play it cool? I love you in your podcast, Emily. Thanks. Okay, let's unpack this. There's a lot going on here.

First of all, I wanna give you an award, eight years, four kids, and you've six, six nights a week. That's insane. I don't even know how you do that, but you're already coming out ahead here, Joe. That is pretty amazing to me. Now, you're saying here, I want to break some things down. You're saying that, that she doesn't have the same body as them, so she feels like, okay, so I can understand this. I have to say that I had this same challenge when I was like, and I've talked about this before,

but when I had a boyfriend, I don't know if you had this Lisa, but I was 25 years old, you know, as the first time I really encountered porn with a guy. And to me, music, the guy who had really opened me up sexually and we were having great sex, but he brought porn in and I was like, so confused by porn, because I was like, I don't understand how, does this mean you want me to have blonde hair and big breasts? Because I don't and these are the women you're watching. So I felt very inferior. I'm very inadequate.

I think a lot of women have that initial reaction. We kind of can't get out of the fact that it turns to sun as well because we are so, you know, we want to feel sexy and love. And so self confidence and our body image is you that that is a real, real struggle. So it sounds like she does enjoy the porn, but then she's a really hard time watching it. It's confusing to me also because she's, she says she's into it. She's not into it because of that because she really wants it. So the thing about stuff confidence is it really is an inside job. You can tell her she's beautiful and sexy and smart and all these things, but she still might

feel really insecure about it. So one of the challenges I think is, but she might really like it. So it kind of be like, you know, we often do things where like, oh, I'm going to do it and then we feel bad afterward. We kind of have a shame over. So if that is her struggle, I think that you have to keep reinforcing that you do find her sexiness, martin or sexy and desirable. But also, there's other kinds of porn you can watch as well. I'm a huge fan of Erica Lust. I've talked about this and I was telling you a little about her porn. It's kind of porn that's made for women by women with the female gaze. So it could be kind of switching up your porn.

But I also want to talk about self-confidence in the bedroom. And I'm just curious because I have you ever dealt with any of this with your own feeling sexy or is there anything? Definitely about feeling sexy myself. I'm dealing with health issues I have for the like the last three years And so I'm in a lot of pain a lot of the time, you know, it's all got health related so sometimes, you know I'm hunched over cramped, you know holding my stomach and I can't eat much and so I've lost a lot of weight For a while my hair was falling out my nails brittle

So I slept my confident. I wasn't feeling sexy and no matter what time my husband was saying like, you're so beautiful, I love you, my goat, you're so funny, I like all these things that a woman wants to hear, I didn't feel it. And that I think is the biggest key in the question that he says is that she doesn't feel it. And so I think that before you even try to convince her in the bedroom, it's like what is happening outside the bedroom where she doesn't feel confident? Or she doesn't feel like maybe she's the apple of your eye and address that. And I think for me, because it was my health, it was affecting my emotions, it was affecting chemistry, and brain chemistry is such a big, freaking thing that I think that she's letting that kind of almost getting the way a little and I know that I did once I addressed my

personal emotions outside of the bedroom got that okay, what makes me confident? How do I do that more of that? How do I feel good about myself and then bring that to the bedroom? And I think that's so true though. It is true that no matter how much our partners, you know and it sounds like he does that he tells us she's beautiful and sexy, but it's true if we're not feeling it, we're not going to be able to bring it to the table. So I would first say that she said she didn't want to do it, and then maybe she might have said to you, let's watch it, babe, because she knows that you like it. So there's a lot of this pleasing that we do. So stay here, this

for women, like we really do want to please our partners and the better. So I would say, like, take porn off the table for a little bit as well, and kind of talk to her her about what is going on because I feel like there's also been this power struggle with you guys Where she's having an orgasm falls asleep now you're having an orgasm quicker And I feel like there has to be like kind of a reset with you guys like this whole like race to orgasm Maybe we just take sex and porn off the table for a little bit Which I think the two of you might just need to reconnect again intimately because maybe sex has become this six-dense a week. We're having it, we're doing it, we're checking it off, and I feel like there might be a little bit loss of intimacy happening here. And I think it's such a great point Lisa that there might be something else going on with her because I don't

know how you have four kids in six-dense a week and you're having sex and so I want to make sure she has a full body and mind is still into it. So I'm kind of sensing her after reading this again that there might be just some other intimacy things. So for that, I would say, perhaps bring back like, or if you've never done this before, when you take sex off the table and you focus on reconnecting again, so maybe it's massage, or you just give each other back massages or foot massages, or you make out. I mean, kissing is often the first thing that goes in long-term relationships. So I'm just sensing with kids here, there's got to be some time away, or maybe you guys take

a little road trip together, have parents come over and watch the kids for a night. Couples forget after they have kids that their relationship actually still needs to be first and foremost and on a pedestal. So that's why I suggest for you guys. And yeah, I mean I think porn is great, but again also going back to that once you guys sort this out, Erica Les porn. It's a great way to go. I love all of her porn. I'm going to give it to you.

I'm going to give you the password. But you guys should all check it out, ERI-K-A-L-U-S-D. Okay, this is from Andrea 37 in Texas. Family or show is equal parts to light-full and form of and exciting. Thank you. I've worked on myself for the last two years after a painful divorce, although mutual. I've been a lot of work when it comes to romantic partnerships, recognize my relationship, pitfalls, and patterns, identified my needs and deal breakers,

establish healthy boundaries, sign-up for dating sites, etc. I live in a smaller, more family-oriented city where there doesn't seem to be a large or appealing dating pool available. People close to me, including my ex-husband, whose feedback I value, all feel men are intimidated by me. In my recent experience, it seems most men desire the carbon copy woman who's into sports and God and who all will be their next gym and life buddy, which seems so easy and superficial to me. I don't want to have to pretend to be a person of not wide date in this world wide dating web. Am I too jaded any advice? Thank you. They're such assortes of advice for divorce and childish women in their mid 30s. Okay, time for

Lisa if you got the sense from Andrew. I feel like she's spending a lot of time building her source. She's so convinced that she's this this independent woman that like that she's intubiting to men and that she's living in a place where no one's gonna want her and there's no single people around. Did you get the sense that she's so convinced that who she is? And that I feel like first of all, there's a really real truth of the fact that you might be living in a town that you've gotten too big for. It might not be your place. I know that I couldn't still live in the town of Michigan. I grew up in. I probably I would not have had the life I have or met the people, the diverse group people. So there's a sense if you're in an independent smart woman in your 30s and you

don't have kids, you have an ex there living in Texas, there might be time to move to another town. Because I feel like there are a lot of single people when I hear that people can't meet someone I often suggest like listen, there are single people everywhere and you just gotta put yourself out there and continue to try to let everyone know that you're single. Say yes to those invites of parties that you wouldn't normally go to or eventually wouldn't go to because you never know who you're gonna meet.

But I'm also hearing like, you know that she's kind of listening to all these people saying like you're intimidating and I don't know, what was your sense after reading this? Yeah, I mean, I think to be honest, it's fantastic that she's figured out who she is and what she wants in life and you should not do that because other people don't agree.

And I think you're spot on about like, if the people around you don't agree with you, that's fine, show them respect and compassion, but be respect for and disagree. Like, that's exactly what I would do, like totally here, I disagree. This's exactly what I would do. Totally hear you, I disagree. This is what I want in life. And I'm not gonna bring my standards lower

just to meet other people's expectations. So if, like you said, if it's not right for the city, she's in, that's okay. Like, don't feel bad about that, but then make the change and then go and seek what you really desire. Versus lower your level of the type of person that you want to be with just to make other people

happy or to make it easy on you, right? Nothing's ever easy. You want to build a business. You go to freaking work hard. You go to overcome the failures. So it's kind of the same thing. Exactly. I always think like be the person you want to find.

And so it's okay to like exactly to be you. You don't have to lessen yourself and diminish who you are. And what do you think of this notion though that in I used to hear this a lot like men are just intimidated by me is I mean I hear it as like another excuse sort of for why you can't find somebody because I don't believe I think that sure some men will be intimidated but you're also going to find those men who are going to worship the goddess that you are because you're so strong, smart and successful. So what do you think about this notion that have they ever find that men are intimidated by you or have you ever had to deal with that?

So I do see how it can be a problem. I also want to address that when a woman is super confident and strong willed, that is amazing. If that's the sort of woman you want to be, but sometimes I think it can spill into arrogance. And I think that that's where guys sometimes may feel like you're just too much for me. And so I think that you can be both. You can be a strong woman, independent, strong, world confident, and your other people tremendous respect. And if a guy doesn't feel comfortable being around a woman that is that confident, great, then they're not right for you.

But I'm not gonna become a timid woman to get a guy, right? You eventually find a guy that will respond to the type of person that you are. Exactly. So just keep looking with it and I wouldn't stop turning to your ex who's saying this or that, you don't need to talk to any of the other people.

Just keep doing you. And yes, you're saying, I might to jade it and advise the ass. I think you are you. And yes, you're saying, I might you jaded any advice. Yes, I think you are a little jaded. We're going to pull you out of that and say, keep doing you. Keep dating. Go outside your city boundaries. And you're going to find someone and I'm for the strong smart,

beautiful woman that you are. Lisa, I love this show. And I feel like you, the way you guys handle a relationship, communication, your drive to make a great relationship and a great business is just really insprisational and can really serve as a great role model relationship for so many people now that you don't have struggles, but I so appreciate your honesty and for being so open about your relationship. Thank you for being on the show. Thank you for having me and your freaking show rock scale by the way and I love what you're

doing. I love how much you empower women to own this sexuality. I think there needs to be more of it shouting from the rooftops. So whatever I can do to help I'm on board. Thank you and real quick tell me about women of impact right now your new series your new show. I want everyone to I was a guest on it but I want everyone to know why they need to rush over and check it out. Yeah thank you I mean and you are a guest on which I'm super excited to release that episode and really it doesn't compass. Like what takes for a woman to feel like she's in path

when it doesn't have to be on a global scale, right? It can be impact on your own life. It can be impact in your family's life. Like what type of woman do you wanna be and know that you can achieve it, just kind of given women the notion of be who you wanna be. So with reason why I was so drawn to you is I think sex is a big part of it. I think owning your sexuality as a woman, not showing away from it,

being open, allowing yourself to be that sexual being that I think that we're, you know, kind of born to be, and not showing away in just like owning it. And for me, it's been so liberating, diving into it, feeling like I'm sexual being, and it's really made me confident as a human being And then that confidence has led me to be confident in my business confident in my relationship with my husband Confident as a daughter as a sister as a what you know every aspect of my life So that's why I so love you love what you're doing. I think that it really doesn't influence women I hopefully to be the better version of themselves.

And that's really what the show is about, getting people on to speak all aspects from fitness, entrepreneurship, sex, relationships, everything. I love it. Well, it is really a great service and I know it will have an impact. So check out Women of Impact. Check out Lisa Bilieu. Give me your social media. It's at Lisa Bilieu, B-I-L-Y-E-U, and at Women of Impact.

Thanks Lisa, thanks for being here, and thanks everyone for listening. Was it good for you? Email me, feedback at sexwithamily.com. you