Sex With Emily - Your Guide to Squirting

Episode Date: January 7, 2022

Squirting during sex: how, exactly, does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For vulva owners, squirting is a thing of mystery - but it doesn’t need to be. I...n this special Best Of episode, I’m giving you my tips and firsthand experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator Deborah Sundahl, who teaches us exactly how to squirt -- and I mean, step by step.For example: did you know, vulva owners, that you have a prostate? That’s the g-spot, despite headlines you see every few months questioning its very existence. Also: did you know that clitoral orgasms and g-spot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that EVERY vulva owner can squirt? It’s not magic -- it’s anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on squirting, from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do. Show Notes:Deborah Sundahl: Website | BookFascinator Throw Ejaculation blanket Hosted on Acast. See acast.com/privacy for more information.

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Starting point is 00:00:00 When you sport, is that mean you orgasm? Orgasm and ejaculation are two different functions. Ejaculation is a release of fluid. Orgasm is, as we know, pleasure. You're listening to Sex with Emily. I'm Dr. Emily, and I'm here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Squirting during sex. How exactly does it happen? Which body part controls it? And what the hell is it made out of? For a vulva owner, squirting is a thing of mystery, but it doesn't need to be.
Starting point is 00:00:39 In this special best of episode, I'm giving you my tips and first-head experience with squirting as well as highlights of my conversation with sex educator, Deborah Sondal, who teaches us exactly how to squirt. And I mean step by step. For example, did you know, Volvo owners, that you have a prostate? That's the G-spot. Despite headlines, you see every few months questioning
Starting point is 00:01:02 its very existence. Also, did you know that literal orgasms and gspot orgasms are two different things? Finally, with time and practice, did you know that every vulva owner can squirt? It's not magic, it's your anatomy! Plus, I take your questions on sporting from how to start, best positions to do it, and how to communicate to your partner what you want them to do. Alright, intentions with Emily for each episode join me in setting an intention for the show. So when you're listening, think of what you want to get out of the show.
Starting point is 00:01:33 Well, my intention is to dispel any and all mysteries about female ejaculation, so you can explore for yourself. I want you to walk away knowing that squirting is within your reach if you want to try it. Please rate, review, sex with Emily wherever you listen to the show, my new article, how to have sex standing up is up at sexwithemlee.com. And also check out my YouTube channel for more sex tips and advice. For more information on squirting, check out my article, the Secrets to Squirting at sexwithemily.com. If you want to ask me a question, just call them by hotline. 559 talk sex or 559 825 5739.
Starting point is 00:02:12 Just leave me your questions or message me at sexwithemily.com slash ask Emily. All right, everyone, enjoy this episode. Debra Sundahl is the foremost pioneer on female ejaculation and the G-Spot. She's the author of the Seven of Book, Female ejaculation and the G-Spot and has spent 35 years making groundbreaking contributions to the field. She lectures and gives workshops in North America and Europe and has taught thousands of men and women how to integrate the G-Spot and female ejaculation into their erotic lives. She continues to be a spokesperson for female sexuality and an advocate for sex education. Find out more about Deborah Sondal at DeborahSondal.com. So you're going to hear a lot of juicy advice on this episode
Starting point is 00:03:03 about how to try squirting. If that's something you're curious about, no pressure. But before we get into it, here are my top three pointers to keep in mind while you're listening. Number one, get to know your anatomy. It's amazing how we can literally unlock pleasure simply by becoming aware of body parts we didn't know we had. So take that mirror between your legs and look at what you have going on. It gets to know it. Number two, slow down. The G-Spot orgasm, as you'll hear throughout this episode, functions differently than a clear orgasm. And it requires slow, steady buildup. A lot of you call in or email that you get frustrated
Starting point is 00:03:46 and you think you've tried and you've tried one so you've tried twice. This is a process. This is like getting in shape. Think of it that way. You're getting in shape to figure out your own body and learn how to squirt and learn how different orgasms. Slow it down and build up to the orgasm.
Starting point is 00:04:03 Number three, let it go and let it flow. Here's the thing, squirting can feel like peeing. Maybe it'll always feel a little bit like peeing. That is okay. You're training your body to do something new. So resist the clenching and the fear around it and see what happens. So let it go and let it flow.
Starting point is 00:04:24 So let's address the urine situation. Is it pee? When there's a female ejaculate present, is it pee? Is it urine? And I always say, and I maintain this, who cares what it is? Does it matter? If it feels good and there's pleasure, we shouldn't be all tripped up on, is it urine? Is it not? But what I can tell you, and there have been studies that have shown, that with the female ejaculate, there are traces of urine and there's traces of ejaculate in the fluid. Specifically, there's a prosthetic specific antigen or a PSA, referred to as female ejaculate, that can be found in the liquid squirted in some individuals. So listen, sex is fun, sex is hot, sex is sexy,
Starting point is 00:05:09 and sex can be messy. On to the show. Let's find out from Deborah what the biggest misconceptions are about squirting and the anatomy you need to know if you want to try it. Let's talk about what are the biggest misconceptions around female ejaculation. Like you said, there's so much confusion around it. I can tell you, we have a bunch of questions that have come into people wanting to know, if it's urine, can every woman ejaculate?
Starting point is 00:05:32 Why can't I? Is it real? You know, just all the things. Yes. So all women can ejaculate because the G-spot is the female prostate, and female ejaculation is prosthetic fluid, and all women have a prostate, just like all men do. It's fully functional, just like the male prostate,
Starting point is 00:05:57 as a feminist, and we're very used to hearing, you know, about diminished women's experiences. Well, this is a classic case. Well, this is a classic case. Yeah, it is a classic case of this. So let's talk about, let's first start with the G-Spot, because in reading about your in-person seminars that you do in-person workshops, you actually sit with women in a room and you introduce them to their G-Spot and you teach them how to ejaculate. And I think that even the fact that you've been doing this
Starting point is 00:06:25 for 30 years, I've tell you some news that women, unless they've taken your workshop or they've done their own research, they still don't know how to find their G spot. They still don't know. I mean, I'd love to say that it's changed. I don't know what the numbers were then, but I still think it's really, really confusing.
Starting point is 00:06:42 I even call it the G area, because I think when you say spot, people are like, oh, it's just one spot. So how would you describe how to find the G spot? G spot isn't an unfortunate name. It was named after the famous book, The G Spot, by Wippell and Perry, Sexologist and Scientist. G spot is named after Grafenberg, the urologist from the 30s who knew about female
Starting point is 00:07:07 ejaculation, who knew about the female prostate, but his work was ostracized. And so an academic tradition, Whippelen Perry built on his work and they're for named, you know, named him on that cover of that book. Okay. Fortunately, GEO also stands for God's Spot. Oh, God's Spot is so much better. Yeah, I like God's Spot. Yeah, that is it. So people, I think there is all this confusion about you. Well, let's talk about the literal orgasm
Starting point is 00:07:37 versus the G-Spot orgasm. How would you describe them? Well, first of all, G-Spot is the female prostate. The female prostate surrounds the urethral canal. It starts at the outside opening of the body. And its 32 duxing glands are sprinkled along the urethral canal about two inches. So therefore, because the urethro canal and the vaginal canal share the same wall, that means you can easily access the prostate through the roof of the vagina. You can easily feel it.
Starting point is 00:08:17 It literally hangs down through the roof of the vagina. It's a prostate. It's not the clitoris. The clitoris is primarily erectile tissue. We have the little nub on the outside of the body full of nerves. But as feminists, healthcare, a nurse's Rebecca Schocker,
Starting point is 00:08:38 and Susan Gage in 1982, redefined the clitoris. They said, hey, it's not just a little nub on the outside of the body that feels so good. It's actually erectile tissue that extends four to five inches inside the body. They thought these women were nuts for 15 years. Well, now they've seen this structure in the cadaver. Right.
Starting point is 00:09:03 Yes. The stuff's little puppets you can buy, little women have made the I have the bubble puppet. So you have the bubble puppet and this is clitty. I like the clitty puppet. I don't have letters puppet. Yeah. But yeah, here's her little, you know, and here's her wings and her bulb. She has these parts of part that surround the urethra and a part that surrounds the vagina. So the g spot is actually the female prostate plus its erectal tissue.
Starting point is 00:09:37 Yeah, is it kind of like internal, literal nerves in or would you just say even before that it's a prostate? But I always tell people, it's all connected, I guess, is what I'm saying. It's all connected. You see, the clitoris has a different nerve than the G-spot. And again, we get this from Wipple and Perry. That was one of two major discoveries they made and why they wrote a book.
Starting point is 00:09:58 Okay, two nerve theory. The pedendal nerve goes to the clitoris penis. The pelvic branch of the vagus nerve goes to the prostate's male and female. Two different nerves, two different orgasmic experiences. So, we all know the clitorial penis orgasm. panty, fast stimulation, whether it's for a guy on the penis or for the vibrator with the women and hold your breath and you have, you know, a good orgasm, you clench up your body and sure it's a good orgasm. Cheesepot, prostate orgasms, okay, are the opposite.
Starting point is 00:10:46 Long, slow breaths because we're dealing with the vagus nerve, okay, which I'll explain in a minute, but as long and slow breathing, you relax instead of clenching, do not vibrate. The prostate, it is an organ of the body. And if you vibrate it, you kind of click in that pedendal nerve. And so it's not so easy to access that G spot nerve if you're vibrating away. Also you move the body, okay? Because you're building this huge orgasm, which is full body, starts in your toes, spreads up your legs, makes your legs shake. I mean, it comes out your head.
Starting point is 00:11:30 You can see stars. It's a powerful physical orgasm. It's not your bliss orgasm where, you know, if you're in touch or Eastern traditions, you're doing the circulating breath, which is mostly from the pelvis up, from the stomach up, okay? And you can kind of ride this wave of energy orgasm. No, I'm talking as a feminist body as a woman thighs, right? Burthing down into the floor, right? We can ejaculate down and into the ground, you know, we menstruate, saying, you know, it's very physical, full body orgasm.
Starting point is 00:12:11 So you need to breathe and build that. Okay, that's amazing. Oh my God. Sounds good, doesn't it? It does sound good. And do you think that, so where do we start with that? You know where I start with that? I start with anatomy.
Starting point is 00:12:27 My power points are anatomy. Women have to know they have a prostate. I mean, we have a missing body part. All the studies done on, oh, women can orgasm and it takes us longer and you need 20 minutes of foreplay. This is the news when you relax and you just touch the prostate. You know, it fires up like this, you're a rousal. Our a rousal is accessible. It's immediate and it's powerful.
Starting point is 00:12:59 We just have not known, we have a prostate and we haven't known how to touch her. So in reading your book and I have not taken your workshop, but you talk about this workshop where the women take a mirror, because I'm always telling them, we just take a look at their volva, but I don't often talk about them going inside, but how you push out your pelvic floor and you can see the ridges of your g spot. Yes. And all women who are listening to this, you can do this. This is your homework.
Starting point is 00:13:28 Can I tell you? Is you sit down on the floor, you need a mirror. Not natural lipstick mirror, ladies. Okay, nice big eight inch mirror, prop it up on a stand or lay it against a pillow, which you place as you sit on the floor between your legs. Then two fingers on each hand place them gently one on each labia. Slowly spread your labia part, push out with your pelvic floor muscles and see if you can see the rid riches, the famous
Starting point is 00:14:06 riches of your G spot. Okay. Some women will see their literally, some women just do that and they're like, oh, there it is. And they're completely shocked. Some of said, I thought that was a pro lapse. It's like, it's not. OK, this is alarming, I know. But it does happen. Maybe we'll get into that later. Maybe we won't. But other women, they're going to have to practice this three,
Starting point is 00:14:36 five times. You know, take a break, try it again, because number one, for many women, well, they've never did this before. Some women never even looked at their evolve before. And then some women haven't really used their pelvic floor muscles to push out like that. So right away, you have three things you've never done before.
Starting point is 00:14:59 You just practice, ladies, that's all. Keep at it. And some women have more meaty or smaller labia and so it's a little harder to pull apart or it's a little you have to peer a little deeper in if they're more meaty but all you have to do you can see it is push out look for for that, your rethral canal, because remember the prostate surrounds the rethral canal, it's right there,
Starting point is 00:15:33 the outside of the body, from the outside, just two inches in. So look for that, your rethra. And then when you push, you're going to see her peat out from underneath the rethra, you'll going to see her petal from underneath the urethra. You'll start to see her little ridges. We're going to take a quick break, but stick around. We come back more sporting tips with Deborah Sundahl.
Starting point is 00:16:10 Next up, the best sex positions to try squirting for yourself. Women haven't had the vaginal orgasm because they're going too fast. Yeah, to slow down to have that orgasm. And so for some women who maybe are having orgasms that way, it's probably rubbing, I was your clitoris is maybe rubbing on your partner and that's what's going to happen, but it's not internal. If anything's in the vagina, fingers, toy, penis, you're stimulating the prostate. You cannot not stimulate it. It's right there on the roof. So it's always getting stimulated. It's just, it's numbed out due to the way we make love in Western culture, which is to ram, ram, ram, ram. So we're talking like slow, well slow and steady, slow and steady, rhythmic in and out.
Starting point is 00:17:00 That's how you breathe and relax, move your body, you know, with the rhythm. So it's a dance, it's not a mechanic. It's an art, right? So it's body talk. Okay, so it's not your mind saying, but you please hurry up. You know, that's nothing happened that way. I want you to do this, that, and the other thing. It's like, no, you have to breathe.
Starting point is 00:17:29 You have to move your body. This is think of the word build. You build your body. Building pleasure throughout your body. And you do that with the breath. And the movement. Right. And this is basic tantra. Actually, this is where tantra enters the picture with the
Starting point is 00:17:49 G-spot orgasm is tantra teaches to move your body to breathe. Because what they're doing is they're breathing this arousal pleasure all around the body. They're feeling really they say they're feeling their cells with pleasure. You are. You are. Yes. You just build it until you just, you have that orgasm. Those muscles are gonna push out. Those powerful pelvic floor muscles are gonna push out and you'll just explode into an orgasm. Yeah. And you push out. it wants to push out whatever in your vagina.
Starting point is 00:18:29 Right. So take the toy out, take the penis out. That's it. That's exactly like my kind of orgasms too. You push out, but we always think, oh, it should be happening with the penis or... What's a good position for this if we're talking about penetrative sex?
Starting point is 00:18:43 What do you view from? The best to learn is to kneel next to your bed, place your upper torso on the top of your bed, or stand up, place your upper torso on maybe counter height or even a table so that your upper torso is supported and secure because you got to move your hips and you do it from behind. Yeah, oh do it from behind yourself. Yeah You're you're supporting your upper body So it's secure and you're lying on one arm So you're free here. Yeah to do do it from behind. Yeah. Or even
Starting point is 00:19:28 from in front. Even if you're with the partner, what if you're with a partner? Same position. Okay, same position from behind. And women are moving their hips, women are feeling that pleasure. Yeah. And they have more control too because they can also jump off the penis. and they have more control too because they can also jump off the penis. Okay, this is so great. I want to go back. There's so much here. Can I just say that for a minute? There is a lot to it. It is not a simple little thing, but it's also not hard and I make it accessible. You really do make it accessible. And this is the area where I just think it's hands on literally. And it's just rewiring our brains around what is possible. Now that we know a lot more about
Starting point is 00:20:11 how squirting works, let's talk about what it's made of, how to prep, and the difference between orgasm and squirting. When you squirt, does that mean you orgasmed? Orgasm and ejaculation are two different functions. Ejaculation is a release of fluid. Orgasm is, as we know, pleasure. So, and you could also orgasm without ejaculating and you could ejaculate without orgasm. Yes. Okay. You can ejaculate before orgasm, during orgasm, or after orgasm, or not ejaculate before orgasm during orgasm or after orgasm or not ejaculate at all.
Starting point is 00:20:47 Right. So can all women squirt? That's the next question. All women can ejaculate because all women have a prostate. Female ejaculation is prosthetic fluid. Therefore, all women can ejaculate if you want to. Okay. Are there certain positions to hit the G-spot better? The best position to hit the G-spot is to know where she is located. Find her right, then you'll know your best position. Exactly. You position yourself. Exactly. So this brings me to the next question. I have a hard time explaining to my boyfriend Exactly how to hit my g spot and then actually make me score using his hands. Can you explain in simpler terms?
Starting point is 00:21:34 Well, that's like Backward and high heels. I mean He doesn't need to use his hands for you to ejaculate that's Something that porn started and it's gotten way out of control. I mean, uses this penis. That's why a man's got a penis, you know, so mostly he just needs to slow down. And when you're ready to ejaculate, he needs to come out of your vagina, your pelvic floor muscles are going to push him out because your body's full of ejaculate. Your muscles are just gonna take over and push it out. That penis has to come out. Most women cannot ejaculate with something in their vagina.
Starting point is 00:22:15 Thirty percent of women like the on top position and they for some reason can ejaculate in the on top position. Yes, but most women can't right because they're not doing that exactly because then it's kind of coming out of you My wife can only squirt through oral. How can I help her do it during intercourse? Awareness awareness the penis no one what you're touching with your penis and awaken penis on an awakened g Spot is gonna be electric what you're touching with your penis and awaken penis on an awakened G spot is going to be electric. How to get over the feeling that I'm going to pee and stop that sensation? So this is why we don't do it because we're so afraid we're going to pee. So how do we talk about that? That's right. We mistake the urge to ejaculate for the urge to pee. How do we know we just practice?
Starting point is 00:23:02 We've been told that female ejaculation doesn't exist, so if we feel that P urge, what else is it? It's P. Well, because we haven't known that no, it's a ejaculate and as you ejaculate you get to distinguish between the two, but it is subtle. If you are aroused and you're having intercourse of one type or another penis, toy, fingers. And you feel that urge to pee. That is the urge to ejaculate. Just let go. Let it flow.
Starting point is 00:23:35 Let go and let it flow. And if it is, how about this though, what's the liquid made of and where does it come from a women's sport? Everyone wants to know, is it pee? Isn't it pee? There's been all these studies. What's your answer to that? Female jackalit is prosthetic fluid. Therefore it's 90% prosthetic fluid in 10% glucose. What's in prosthetic fluid? Just the same as what's in the the male prosthetic fluid. It's the food
Starting point is 00:24:00 and the nutrients and the protective environment, I. alkaline, for the sperm when they get their way to the egg, okay? So is female ejaculation? That is its biological function is to protect that sperm. So it's full of vitamins, nutrients. So what about the traces of urine? I'm just going to ask. Oh, that happens sometimes. I mean, mostly women who are first learning, if you have traces of urine, don't worry about it. The best analogy isn't the prettiest, but it's like a palm that needs to be primed. And I mean, the water that first comes out isn't the best looking.
Starting point is 00:24:42 Be nice to yourself. Just forget about the whole urine thing until you have this working in your body. Also, women are pushing too hard. They want that ejaculate to come out and so they're pushing too hard. So it's better to relax, let it slowly build and then it'll just kind of come out of the body. Yes. Yes. So how should you talk about it with a partner and prep for cleanup in a way that's still sexy? I get a lot of the clean up questions and it's too messy. Do you have any recommendations?
Starting point is 00:25:12 Well, this is a thing when you ejaculate, you've got to prepare. You know, we don't always want to prepare for sex. And you know, you step hang ups around it like, oh my God I prepare I spoil the mood well you get one of those beautifully female ejaculation blankets invest in that and throw it on the bed you know it's beautiful and comfortable and that's what you do yeah and then you put it in the wash that's right the biggest obstacle to women not ejaculating is the sphere of letting go the the sphere of pee. Yeah. Okay, that's the biggest obstacle, the second obstacle. Well, that has to do with the orgasm. It's letting the wild woman out.
Starting point is 00:25:52 This is not your tiny Victorian orgasm. No. Or like, it's those deep, federal, yeah. Women around with the wolves, you know, that great book by a youngian analyst,ars up in cola estate women around with the wolves. This is your wild woman, you know And that Vegas nerve is emotional by nature So it's also an emotional orgasm. You got to scream. You're gonna Emote your pleasure, you know, and sometimes you can yeah laugh, laugh and cry and it's emotional.
Starting point is 00:26:25 Women love that. That's there. That's it. It's a release. Yeah. It is emotional. I feel like as I've gotten more accepting and as I've matured to my life, my orgasms are so much louder and so much more powerful. Right. But you have to be with a partner that like that's the thing. It's like we, you have to be with someone that you feel safe with, that you can let go and trust. And if you're not and you're worried they're going to judge you and there they have
Starting point is 00:26:51 judged you, then that might not be your person. That's right. So therefore you can't say, I can't do this. It's like, no, that's not totally accurate. You just don't have the right circumstances. Right. After the break, I'm going to answer all your questions on squirting. Now it's time to hear from all of you. I'm going to answer your squirting questions. This is Steph 26 from Sydney, Australia. Hey Dr. Emily, I'm 26 and I've never orgasmed.
Starting point is 00:27:30 I think. I think I've never orgasmed. I enjoy sex and I'm not afraid to talk about it, but the big O has always alluded to me. Last night, for the first time ever, I squirted with the help of a trusted FWB, friends of benefits. No idea how it happened, but it didn't really feel like anything. I always thought orgasms and squirting were one and the same, but can you squirt without orgasming? I found it exciting that I managed to squirt, but can't help but feel a little disappointed I didn't get the feeling of release that I expected to come with it. Thanks always All right, Steph, here's a thing. Absolutely, you can squirt and not orgasm and you can orgasm as we all know without squirting.
Starting point is 00:28:11 So, sounds like that's what's happened to you. You're thinking that you've never orgasmed, you probably haven't orgasmed. And I'm curious about your own self-love practice. Have you tried to orgasm on your own? Using all the techniques I talk about on the show, always on the show, and you know, we've a lot of great information on our website, but it is important to continue to understand your own body without a partner there.
Starting point is 00:28:37 It sounds like you have a great friends with Ben Fitt who is instrumental in your squirting it sounds like, but you're still not having that release, you're still not having that pleasure, or maybe you're still enjoying this experience, but you're notirting it sounds like. But you're still not having that release, you're still not having that pleasure, or maybe you're still enjoying sex, but you're not having the orgasm. I tried for a long time with the partner early on to have my first orgasm with a partner, and it just didn't work. I had to just have no one looking at me, no one around, and I had to figure it out on my own. So maybe that's the same for you stuff. So I just encourage you to take time, get to know your body, and maybe one day you will find that you squirt and orgasm.
Starting point is 00:29:08 But I also have to say, I think it's more common than not. It's more common to squirt without orgasm than to squirt with orgasm. So I'd like to dispel that myth. There's a lot of women squirt in these days, and they're not orgasming. This is from Jim 62 in Utah. Hey, Dr. Emily, my wife is 59 and she's the low libido partner in the marriage. I encourage her to explore herself,
Starting point is 00:29:33 but she really doesn't feel any desire. She invested in yoddy eggs, she won't use them. Has multiple vibrators that collect dust, she never had an orgasm until we married when she was 36 and I would down on her on our wedding night. She says she isn't capable of multiple orgasms. I encourage her to masturbate so she can learn what works for her and she can show me.
Starting point is 00:29:55 I thought for some time that I could help her have a squirting orgasm and that the effort would be worth it and could maybe lead to mind blowing, leg tremor inducing, multiple orgasms. I've worked on learning how to make that happen, and she doesn't get much out of it. Yesterday, we were listening to Dipsy, which is an audio-orotica app, and we were getting hot. I noticed how wet she was getting, and started to work on stimulating her G-Spot-clitorial area. Next thing I knew, I was thinking we should have a towel down. She was spurting everywhere, but she didn't have any orgasmic response. Now the question, is there any information on the percentage of women that squirt but don't
Starting point is 00:30:32 feel anything? I know there's plenty of women with multiple orgasms and haven't been able to squirt. She feels cheated when it took so long to get to squirting and it was anti-climatic, no pun intended. I also feel discouraged that it wasn't what other women said it would be. I wanted to feel like sex is worth the effort and not just once a week.
Starting point is 00:30:52 All right, well very similar to Steph in Australia, you can't squirt without orgasm, you can orgasm without squirting. So did she have an orgasm during all this play yesterday? Does she have orgasms? What I'm hearing is frustration from you that she's not feeling desire and she's not really masturbating and you really tried for a squirt and she finally squirted but it wasn't the right kind of squirting. And even if it's not an orgasm, Squirty can still feel like a great release. So I'm wondering what's going on with your wife?
Starting point is 00:31:28 Is she, you know, you say she has no desire, she's 59. Is she on medications? Has she gotten her hormones tested? You know, maybe she's in menopause and she doesn't really have desire like she used to. But let me hone in on one thing here. You were both listening to audio, Radica, and getting hot. That's a great sign. She was getting wet. She was getting
Starting point is 00:31:51 turned on. You stimulated her G-spot in a literal area and she orgasms. So to me, we have to remember that we have to understand desire. And it sounds like listening to Radica, you just learned is something that's really really gonna work for your wife. And so I wouldn't give up hope yet, you sound very, very frustrated. So I'm wondering if it is just about the sex or there's something else you might be needing from your partner.
Starting point is 00:32:15 Is it just more intimacy? Maybe it's more touching, because this sounds like a really good time. And how did she feel after squirting? Even though she said it was anti-climatic, must have felt good to be a rouse and turned on with her husband, right? So I think rather than getting really specific here
Starting point is 00:32:34 unlike that's has to be squirting and has to be multiple orgasms, let's just understand how your wife can feel more desire and get curious about her orgasms. What does make her orgasm? What feels good to her? And the more you do this, it's kind of work and you make it more about her, finding pleasure, then you're gonna have more pleasure and it's all gonna work out. Okay? So thank you Jim for your question here and let me know how it goes.
Starting point is 00:32:59 Thank you so much to Deborah Sundell and thanks to all of you for your fantastic questions. I hope you're excited to go forth and experiment with these techniques, whether you're a Volvo owner or with a special Volvo in your life. That's it for today's episode, see you on Tuesday. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. Be sure to like, subscribe and give us a review wherever you listen to the podcast and share this with a friend or partner. You can find me on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook, and Twitter at Sex with Emily.
Starting point is 00:33:34 Oh, I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sexwithemily.com and while you're there, check out my free guides and articles for more ways to prioritize your pleasure. If you'd like to ask me about your sex life, dating, or relationships, call my hotline 559 Talk Sex. That's 559-825-5739. A go to sexwithemily.com slash askemily. Special thanks to A-Cast for powering the Sex with Emily podcast.
Starting point is 00:34:04 Was it good for you? Email me feedback at sexwithemleaf.com.

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