Sex With Emily - You’re Missing Out on Better Orgasms (and Sex!) – Here’s Why!

Episode Date: February 20, 2026

Blood flow might not sound sexy, but it’s the fuel behind satisfying sex. In this live episode from the A4M longevity conference in Las Vegas, I talk with certified nurse practitioner Chrislyn Chaloupka, about GainsWave, a non-invasive, regenerative therapy that is changing how we think about sexual wellness by actually addressing root causes instead of just masking symptoms. We dive into why your body might not be responding the way it used to, from erections that fade under pressure to that frustrating gap between wanting sex and your body just not cooperating. Chrislyn breaks down how this painless 15-minute treatment works (that I even tried myself), and we get real about everything from porn-induced desensitization to why ED can actually be your heart trying to tell you something important. Don't forget to watch the full video podcast on YouTube!  What you'll learn:  • Why "just relax and use more lube" isn't solving your arousal problems—and what actually will  • How shockwave therapy can help with everything from weak orgasms to stress urinary incontinence (yes, the sneeze-and-pee situation)  • The psychological factors that can make even the best physical treatments fail until you address the deeper story This Episode is sponsored by Gainswave. Go to gainswave.com and find a provider near you to regain your freedom and pleasure in the bedroom.This episode was recorded live at the A4M Longevity Conference in Las Vegas 2025.  Want to try the Magic Wand Waterproof? Head to shop.sexwithemily.com/magicwand (http://shopsexwithemily.com/magicwand) More Dr. Emily:  • Shop With Emily! Explore Emily’s favorite toys, pleasure accessories, bedroom essentials, and more — designed to support your pleasure and confidence. Free shipping on orders $99+ (some exclusions apply). • Join the SmartSX Membership: Access exclusive sex coaching, live expert sessions, community building, and tools to enhance your pleasure and relationships with Dr. Emily Morse. • Interested in 1:1 Coaching with Emily? Go to sexwithemily.com/coaching to apply!  • Sex With Emily Guides: Explore pleasure, deepen connections, and enhance intimacy using these Sex With Emily downloadable guides. • The only sex book you’ll ever need: Smart Sex: How to Boost Your Sex IQ and Own Your Pleasure • Want more? Visit the Sex With Emily Website • Let’s get social: Instagram | X | Facebook | TikTok | Threads | YouTube • Let’s text: Sign up here • Want me to slide into your email inbox? Sign Up Here for sex tips on the regular. Timestamps: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Blood flow is so key to sexual functioning. And that really is. We talk about regenerative medicine treating the root cause. A lot of times we just don't have as much blood flow. And I'm really healthy. I work out. I eat all the good foods. I do the things.

But why would someone like me then need this treatment? When we are trying to be proactive and when we can catch these things earlier, we know we're starting to see small changes. With women, we start that perimenopausal state so early in life, really, when you consider how long the average lifespan is. we start to deteriorate very mildly at first. And then I think women start complaining all of a sudden of, oh my gosh, I feel like I have sandpaper between my legs. I don't want to have sex anymore.

It's painful. And then that obviously, as you know, falls into so many other issues within a marriage, right? Right. Not being able or not wanting to have sex. Thanks for listening to Sex with Emily. I am Dr. Emily and I am here to help you prioritize your pleasure and liberate the conversation around sex. Now, today's episode is coming to you straight from the American Academy of Anti-Aging

Medicine, also known as A4M. And honestly, my mind is blown. If you don't know A4M is a massive medical conference where doctors, nurse practitioners, researchers, wellness experts, they all come together and they talk about what's next in health and what's next in longevity. It's massive. It's been going on for like 30 years. There's like 10,000 attendants and all these different people.

boost so much, like supplements, nutraceuticals, peptides, hormone optimization, nervous system regulation, body-based technologies, new tools focused on circulation, tissue health healing. Because if you don't know, your sexual health is wellness and I can give you all the tips and the tricks and the lube and the toys, but these things are actually going to help you have the sex life and wellness and long life that you would like and also helps your sex life. because these emerging treatments that I've been learning about and that I want to share with you address root causes, right? Root causes of things you might be feeling, not just symptoms.

So why can't you get an erection? Why can't you have an orgasm? What's happened to your desire, your libido? It helps you get to that so you're not just like taking a pill or taking a supplement now that those could help, but what's actually going on? So I was immersed the last few days in real conversations about sexual health and wellness. and what struck me is like how much the field has truly expanded. You know, like there are tools now for every single layer of what I talk to you about in sexual

intelligence. And when I say sex IQ, I don't mean the tricks or the positions or performance. I mean your sexual intelligence, your overall wellness as it relates to pleasure. So remember what's happening to you? Like, what's getting in the way of you having more pleasure? What's happening in your body, not just your mind? all the things that are affecting arousal, erections, lubrications, all that stuff, sensation and orgasm. So I love learning about these treatments because I was like, okay, there are so many ways that

our body, our minds can be optimized with treatments that have been around for a really long time that can help you in areas where you didn't even know what you needed. So today, I'm sitting down with Kristen Chalupka. She is a nurse practitioner and she works directly with sexual wellness treatments because I really want you to hear directly what you're going to hear directly what you're going to be. available to you if your sexual functioning isn't where you need it to be. In the conversation I have with her, like I grabbed her today from the floor, I said, we got to talk about this. We're talking about erections, lubrications, blood flow, arousal, orgasms, pain, and what happens when your body

just doesn't respond the way it used to? This is so common that we used to have orgasms a certain way, very predictable erections, very typical wetness level, and it just isn't like that anymore. So this episode is for everybody, just so you know, everybody, men, women, people in midlife, people in all stages of life. When I was at A4M, I got a few treatments myself, and one that stood out to me was this shockwave therapy. I was like, and it was by this company, the protocol is called Gaines Wave. And we're going to get into it and how it works in the interview. But what caught my attention is that shockwave therapy is all about improving blood flow and tissue health. Okay.

what does that mean? Like, how do we improve our blood flow and tissue health? And why does that matter? And I'm not just talking about genitals. You can do it throughout the body, but you can do this treatment in the genitals. Like shockwave therapy has been around forever. So shockwave therapy helps you stimulate blood flow and collagen production and it's just like a very healing modality. And when I saw what was going on when people getting this treatment just on their back or on their shoulder or on their leg, areas where they had had pain and tried everything else, I was like, whoa, this is really cool. And they're like, oh, you can do it out of your genitals, you can do on your penis.

So then it really got me thinking about you and your questions and your pain points and the emails and the DMs I get every single week. Because listen to this. Up until now, if you had an erection issue, you all know the story. You pop a pill. You have a quick fix. End of conversation. But pills do not treat the underlying cause.

Sometimes doctors are prescribing to you and they don't ask, like, why is the erection problem happening. They just kind of override it temporarily, and very often the issue underneath is poor blood flow. So blood flow is missing in the conversation, and we just don't talk about enough. Arousal is a blood flow event. For you to get aroused, whether you have a penis or a vulva, it's all blood flow coming online. So for men, blood flow is what allows a penis to stay very firm and very erect. And for women, it's what allows the clitoris, the vulva, the vaginal walls to swell, to engorge, to, you know, become sensitive, receptive, to lubricate. Like, that's what it does.

So if your blood isn't getting to where it needs to go or it can't stay there, the body just can't respond the way you wanted to. Doesn't mean you're broken. Doesn't mean you've lost desire. Doesn't mean your sex life is over. It doesn't mean, you know, even your two in your head. It means you're dealing with, like, stress. Hormonal shifts.

It could be inflammation. It could be the food you're eating. Cardiovascular issues. your nervous system might just be really overloaded. Maybe you tense a lot or you're really stressed out and you just can't get that circulation. And when we have patterns of tension, i.e. anxiety or stress, that pattern in the body restricts your circulation. Like if you're tensed or you're relaxed or you're holding in your stomach and you might not even realize it, you're tensing your shoulders, you got back pain,

you might have some circulation problems as well. It's all related. It's all connected. How it shows up for men. So if you've got a penis, poor blood folk can look like your erections. They're just weaker than they used to be. Your erection doesn't last as long as it used to. Erection disappears under pressure, performance anxiety. You're like, where did it go? Or you just need more stimulation and more intensity to stay hard.

It just seems like you've got to keep doing more. And you're like, what is going on? And I'm just going to tease this right now because we're going to get into it. We talk more about it. But I'm seeing more men with challenging. around the way they masturbate. Certain habits that we do when we masturbate as a man trains the body to respond to very specific stimulation. And over time, that's going to affect your arousal, your sensitivity, and yes, your blood flow and responsiveness. So I'm going to deep dive into that

today, but all I'm saying is if you're someone who's like, I masturbate, there's no problem, but I can't actually get hard with a human, we are going to address that. So, So how it shows up for women. All right. For women, blood flow issues get completely overlooked. It shows up as like, I really want sex. My body's not responding. I have vaginal dryness, but I'm really aroused, right?

Now, of course, vaginal dryness can come from loss of estrogen, hormones. There's a lot of other things. But today specifically, we're addressing blood flow. You're like, I am aroused, but my vagina isn't coming on board. Or you just have reduced clitoral sensitivity. your clitoris used to be really sensitive, now it's not. Or maybe your orgasm just feels muted like it's offline. You can't quit have that same kind of pleasure.

Or maybe you even have more pain with penetration. You're like, where did this pain come from? Or maybe you just feel numb. You're like, I'm so disconnected from my pleasure right now. I don't feel anything. And a lot of times women are told, relax, it's stress. Just use lube, which does help. Add hormones.

It's normal. But the truth is, female arousal is just as vascular as male arousal. Women need healthy blood flow. We do for pleasure, sensation, lubrication, and just for our own comfort. And so when the blood flow is compromised and just not happening, desire can be there. Like, I want to have sex right now, but the body isn't on board. The body just hasn't caught up. And that's what we're talking about today.

And what I want you to hear in today's episode, like, if your sexual functioning isn't where it needs to be for whatever reason. Doesn't mean your sex life is over. It just means your system needs support in some way. And in learning and realizing and talking to so many people and so many of you, blood flow is really powerful and really unrecognized. So we can just start there and take a look at it. So, you know, I wanted to bring this conversation to you. It's like not a promise, not a magic fix. It's just information. And if you like this kind of episode, let me know, message me, send me email, DM me, like you want more of these sort of in-depth deep dives about things that can really help your overall health and wellness. Because when you understand what's actually going on in your

body, shame disappears, worry disappears, and then your choice comes back, oh, I want to have sex. I'm not really worried that I'm not going to be able to respond or have arousal. So we're talking about shockwave therapy, all the things today, which is very, very exciting. And the ways it hopefully can change the way you think about sexual health for yourself or for your partner. All right, let's get into this episode. Okay, so let's talk about one of my favorite ways to upgrade your solo or partner play. It is the Hera by Jeju. It's a sleek, powerful rabbit vibrator that's basically the best of both worlds. It's incredible for internal stimulation and those rumbly, mind-blowing clitter vibes Jeju is known for. Here's what I love. The external ears are powered by the same

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Today, my guest is Chris Lynn Chalupka, and we were on the panel. She's a nurse practitioner. And we were talking all about shockwave therapy and how it can actually help you with your sexual functioning, your sexual wellness. and blood flow and all the things and we're going to get into it. Hi. We feel like we already really know each other. We know each other. We know each other.

We know each other. Between my legs today and yesterday. I've done two treatments, which I was so excited about. And so it's a shockwave therapy treatment, which, again, we're already going to be brand shock because people think, oh my God,

I don't want that in my, anywhere in my body that's going to hurt, but it was pain free. It was an incredible experience. So tell me about yourself and first of all, how you got involved with what makes you want to become a nurse practitioner? I think, For some people, health care just has a calling.

They have a calling for it. And it comes natural. I would say that was the situation for myself. I was a nurse for a while. Actually, my background was in the operating room. So I've been exposed to many different types of nursing and health care. And the OR can be a really hostile, volatile place. And that was absolutely my experience.

And I had a mentor who encouraged me to go back to school, get my master's, become a nurse practitioner. And that was really where I started to grow within health care. I worked in OB-Gen for a while. I've worked in GI. And then now I've been in bariatrics and general surgery in the clinic space and been able to branch out into regenerative medicine, which is absolutely where my passion is, the regenerative medicine, peptide therapy, hormone replacement, and being able to pull all of these different modalities together to give my patients the best possible outcome. because they so often need more than one treatment in order to feel like their best self.

Okay, so let's talk about regenerative medicine, just to find that. Regenerative medicine is about living longer, but even more important than living longer. It's living better longer. And that is the premise for all different types of regenerative medicine. It also has to do with focusing on the root cause of a lot of our disease processes that we have and treating that rather than bandating our symptoms. And when we talk about shockwave therapy, that's really what we're doing, is we're treating the root cause and we're focusing on stimulating our body to heal itself.

That's, you know, regenerative medicine and longevity. So what's the opposite of regenerative medicine? Reactive medicine, our typical health care, right, which is what most of us have known for decades. It's what most of us knows as traditional health care. It's not that that's bad. I practice traditional medicine as well. and I feel like there's a place for both types of medicine in practice to make sure that our patients are getting what they need. It's a balance.

It is a balance. So when it comes to regenerative care with sexual wellness and health, you mentioned like peptides. And today we're specifically talking about, you know, this treatment that I'll let me. It was packed in that room today. And I loved it because I've learned so much too. And let's just talk about what is shockwave therapy? Great question. Shockwave is probably my favorite topic.

You saw earlier I get incredibly passionate about it. I kind of nerd out a little bit on it. So shockwave therapy is actually creating controlled micro trauma to the area that we're treating, whether that's for sexual wellness or our musculoskeletal system. Once we create that controlled micro trauma on a cellular level, that stimulates the body to produce its own growth factors and stem cells. So going back to we're treating the root cause, we're encouraging our body to heal itself. Okay.

So when you say, it's funny, all these things about, when we like say shockwave and trauma, you hear these words, and you're like, what do you mean? You're retramatizing me. But yeah, let's talk about that. Let me break it down. So we need some kind of trauma. It doesn't have to be painful trauma. It's something that is happening on a cellular level. It's not something I'm not causing you pain in the process with certain devices. You know, they cause more pain than others. With gains wave, we're able to. We're able to. create that micro trauma without causing pain to the patient. And that stimulates a cytokine storm and an inflammatory response. Basically what that means is I am poking at you to say, hey, pay attention to me right here. It doesn't have to be a negative. You're right. The word sounds scary. They sound a little abrasive. But it really is about just stimulating the body to heal itself. Our bodies are in a constant state of depletion of our stem cells and we lose stem cells through every decade of life. So as we get older, sometimes we need to wake the system back up. I'm going to shake you a little bit and say, hey, focus right here, right now. This is where I need my body to pay attention to.

Okay. So talking about focusing right here right now, we just did the treatment for the sexual wellness protocol. For me, we did this treatment. We've done it for two, we've done two times, 15 minutes. Let's talk about the treatment that we just had. I mean, I can tell you that, well, it's fun. We had a room of people in here, but you came in with the machine. It's the Gaines Wave Protocol. And I had my robe on. I laid down on the bed, super comfy. And yeah, you put the wand on with some ultrasound gel, and I laid back. And honestly, I really didn't feel anything. And I've done other kinds of treatments for sexual function that I definitely felt something. It's funny because I'm like, I know what you've told me that it definitely does work.

So let's talk about, let's talk about that, what we just did here. Okay. New technology. This is the newest generation of regenerative therapy using a device in particular, shockwave therapy. What we're doing with that is stimulating the body to focus on all of the vaginal tissue. We're increasing blood flow to the area. When we need our body to heal itself, blood flow is incredibly crucial in being able to make that happen. So we did the treatment all over the labia, the clitoris, the clitoris, the clitoral hood, the perineum, and the mons pubis. So it's just kind of like that bony area right above, you know, our pubic area. And that's going to stimulate the body to send those stem cells and growth factors create better blood flow to make healthier

tissue, increase vaginal lubrication, it can help with people that have painful intercourse. It can help with women that have had episiotomy scars and really suffer from that scar tissue being really tight, which can make painful sex. Yes. People don't realize that the scars can really, I mean, yeah. So it's unavoidable sometimes. Yeah, absolutely. So, so it's helping.

You know, we always talk about blood flow is so key to sexual function. And that really is. We talk about regenerative medicine treating the root. pause, a lot of times just we just don't have as much blood flow. And I'm really healthy. I work out. I eat all the good foods. I do the things. But why would someone like me then need this treatment? When we are trying to be proactive and we can catch these things earlier, we know we're starting to see small changes with women. We start that perimenopausal state so early in life, really, when you consider how long the average lifespan is. We start to deteriorate very mildly at first. And then

I think women start complaining all of a sudden of, oh my gosh, I feel like I have sandpaper between my legs. I don't want to have sex anymore. It's painful. And then that obviously, as you know, falls into so many other issues within a marriage, right? Right. Not being able or not wanting to have sex.

So if I'm able to help improve the vaginal tissue and vaginal health, I like to refer to it as just overall female sexual wellness because it's not one particular thing that we're really focusing on with women. But if I can make sex be enjoyable again, I can help the body actually want it, I can indirectly increase the libido as well, because now sex is fun again. And that's huge. Yeah, it's huge. I mean, this is what I love that so many women have painful sex in their lifetime. I mean, even starting at young age, you can say like 80% of women will have pain at some point. And as we get older, it increases the chance of us having more pain. So this could really help with the pain, help with the dryness.

And let's also not forget about orgasms. So as women... I love it. You're bringing up. You're right. This is my world, too. How did we not mention it yet? I know. So it is so common as we get older and we're in that perimenopausal state.

I know so many people out there can resonate with lying in bed, looking at the ceiling, thinking, oh, my God, how much longer is it really even worth it to try to get there anymore? That is so common. We'll be right back after a quick message from our sponsors, but first I have to tell you about magic wand. So here's the thing. Water really does change everything. Your shower bath can go from something you rush through to a private central reset where you actually slow down and reconnect with your body. That's why I love the magic wand waterproof.

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That's shop.exwithemily.com. That's shop. dot sex with Emily.com. Okay, let's be real. Confidence is sexy in and out of the bedroom. And when it comes to performance, sometimes a little support makes a big difference. So whether you're craving more stamina,

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You can literally work out your sexual wellness while you wash your hair. It's iconic. Right now, BathMate Direct is giving our listeners 10% off when you use code S-W-E-10 at bathmate-Direct.com. That's BathM-A-T-H-M-A-T-I-R-E-C-T-T-com. Use code SWE10 for 10% off. So head to bathmadirect.com, use SWE10 and level up your confidence. So orgasms actually encourage blood flow to our clitoris, our labia, all over. And so if we struggle to achieve an orgasm, then we can go back to that reduced blood flow.

So by doing this treatment, we can increase sensitivity, bring that sensation back to the clitoris to where women can achieve a stronger, better, longer orgasm again. On top of blood flow to their labia, a lot of women complain about vaginal atrophy. Well, labia atrophy as well. We don't like the way it looks sometimes, right? So if we can improve that blood flow, plump everything back up. We're happier with what our bodies look like. It goes back to what we're used to seeing.

We have more sensitivity. We have more confidence in having sex again. You just hit all the points. I mean, really, it's confidence. it's connection, it's intimacy, and we just, yeah, we hide from it. We don't know what we can do. That's why this was so important. I was like, we have to talk about this on the podcast because I probably hear from women,

and we'll get to men too, because it's also true for men. Like, if you have a penis, we are not leaving you up. Nope. Because you all need blood flow. It helps with orgasms, helps with erections, it helps everything. But the interesting thing is the part about us, like not knowing what to do. Like, I still get the questions, the emails, the calls every day. Why can't have an orgasm as easy as I used to?

It hurts. It's painful. There's no lubrication. and might as well just give it up. And I love now that I can just say like this is a game changer. Is there anyone this wouldn't work for? So any treatment we do has limitations. Right. So someone that is elderly. Okay. I will say I've had patients in their 80s wanting treatment. That is awesome. You're still sexually active. Good for you. That is awesome. But they might have a little bit less of a response because we go back to that concept of stem cells. And somebody in their 80s is obviously going to have a diminished

source of stem cells available to help repair. Not that they won't get some kind of result, but we have to recognize that sometimes that can, you know, reduce over time. The other population would be autoimmune issues, just because, again, that is a response of the body that's already struggling being overreactive. And so the body's response to heal itself. There is some inefficiency there. So again, not that they're not a candidate at all, but they're not the ideal candidate. So most people could come in, I always say, well, there's not a quick fix. And this isn't, we have to do six treats. It's a journey. It is a journey. But tell me what you've seen. So you've worked. I mean, I've only, I'm only got two under my belts. I'll report back after I do my,

my four. But I would just love to hear from your experience of working so intimately and so close with women. I'm like, I can only imagine, maybe there's like one patient you could talk about? I will say it's stress urinary incontinence as well. Sneezing and peeing. Right. I don't know what that is. Okay. So between that and women that come in for a decreased vaginal lubrication, those are usually the two things that women are going to talk to you first about having a problem with, right? They're the most bothersome. You get to a point where, okay, I can't have an orgasm. It's too difficult. And it just becomes what you're used to. It's okay. So the other two things, I will say that I think most providers probably hear of being the bigger problems that they're

complaining about. I have countless women that have had great results with the urinary stress incontinence. It absolutely is a game changer. Nobody wants to be on medication or using pestries and all of those other modalities that are just unpleasant. We're really not that old, right? And we're seeing these issues as we're in our 30s and 40s. We're not necessarily seeing it in 60 and beyond. So being able to provide those treatments. But specific patients, I can't think of one in particular because there are truly, or just so many that you see their life change and then be able to get back to, you save a marriage a lot of times. Oh, I can imagine what this is going to do, what this does. For women, they're like, I just, yeah, I. When you bring that into the male side too, right?

Let's talk about the penises involved. I like to talk to my patients as a couple. We do couple consults because then if I help the male with his erection, but the few, female has so much vaginal dryness that sex is painful. Well, what have I really achieved? I've not really helped anyone. Do you know, date night? Right, exactly. Yeah, exactly. Well, I love it's only 15-minute treatment, pretty much. Yeah, it is. It is. Let's go get a Gainesway of treatment and go to the movies. Yeah. So we treat men, we treat along the shaft of the penis. Okay. And then just under the base of the penis above the scrotum and the perineum as well. So it's the same type of treatment for men as it is for women, it's still painless. It's very quick, 10 to 15 minutes. Even more importantly with men,

we're focusing on the blood flow. If men do not have blood flow to the penis from the base of the penis to the head, they cannot get and maintain an erection. Right, you just can't. No. So what is causing them, for men, is it different than women, the challenges of blood flow? It is actually one of the first signs of cardiovascular disease. And I feel like that's overlooked a lot. And primary care, if we were actually able to ask our patients, or we felt more comfortable talking to our patients and asking them, hey, do you have any issues with erections? As I know that I might need to be putting them on blood pressure medication, that should be a clue to me. I should be asking more about their sex life. Because what else does that open up to that's being missed? Because it's a conversation

like we've talked about that people are ashamed to have. And so many cardiovascular issues can be missed or could be, you know, more recognized more easily if we were just asking these questions and recognizing the state of their erection. So treating that blood flow is so incredibly important, but I find it really important to just stress upon it is a bigger sign of so much more going on with men in particular. That's so interesting. So if it's going on in your heart or your head, it could be your penis could be a reflection of what's going on in your heart in your head, right? Yeah. And so the interesting thing is then there are so many men we know who are like, I'm just going to pop a pill. Yep. And so then they're never really addressing the underlying issue. They're not treating

the root cause. So they're not treating the root cause. So putting a band-a-on. Do you find that for a lot of men, they've found that they then they no longer have to take a pill once they do this treatment? Yes. So I give my patients two different outcomes that we're looking for with sexual wellness. One, we could actually go from not being able to achieve or maintain an erection to being able to do that. But there is a huge part of the population that, we'll say metabolically, systemically, they have a lot going on. They're very unhealthy. Okay.

Meaning like they're just not eating. They're drinking too much. They're obese. They don't, you know, they may drink a lot. They may smoke. They have high blood pressure, diabetes, high cholesterol. Like they have the whole thing. Right.

So for those been, sometimes our, you know, success story is really that now they can take a blue pill. Okay. And it works. Whereas it didn't work anymore. So I really look at each patient. individually, male and female, and I come up with a tailored protocol and treatment plan for each person. This is what your treatment looks like. It will not be the same from one patient to the other

all the time. And that's how I really treat you. So the outcome is going to be different too. Yeah. Well, I love that you do that because it's so true. Like I always say if someone came to me, like five different women came to me or men and they say, let's talk with women and they say, oh, I can't have an orgasm or I'm dry. Like you wouldn't treat them all the same. You have to find out all the different things that are going on in their lives. We have to treat their diet, their exercise, they're, you know, there's also the emotional part of it, right? I mean, we know this too, which is why it can be so hard for people to talk about this stuff or even to seek help. And because, you know, it's such an emotional experience too. We talked a little bit about that yesterday. Yeah.

Being able to recognize that with our patients as well, you know, when it's low libido or dysfunction, what psychological component is involved as well. How do you handle that? And it is, it is a tough conversation, some people, men and women are more forthcoming with their daily lives, their history that might have gotten them where they're at. Others, it is like pulling teeth. And I do have patients that are not very forthcoming. We'll just use that word again in treatment until after I'm doing the treatments on them on a regular basis. Now they feel more comfortable of sharing their past. And that plays a role. And you share that story? I've heard the story. Yes. I had a patient who was in his late 40s and I had done about 12 treatments on him. He really was actually really healthy.

And I couldn't figure out why is this networking? What are we, you know, what am I not doing? What is he not doing? And he finally shared with me that he was widowed in his early 30s. He was just now starting to get back on the dating scene. This was not necessarily a blood flow issue. This was performance anxiety. And so that was a whole different conversation, but that was not something he really wanted to or didn't think was important. I'm not sure about sharing until that far into it. And once we did, okay, then we started looking at things a little differently, other things to help him as well. But it just, that was really my first experience with treating somebody where the psychological involvement was so deep. You really had to look at the patient

differently. Yeah. Yeah. And, you know, along that line, I will bring up to the desensitization that a lot of more men, but also an issue with women have, is the use of pornography, oral sex, and masturbation. Okay. Because, yeah. When a male starts to masturbate a lot or have a lot of oral sex, that feels very different than the sensation that they feel when their penis enters a vagina. And so they're looking for a certain type of sensation that they get with a hand or orally,

and it doesn't feel the same. So it's difficult for them to maintain an erection. or get one. Same thing with pornography. If you're watching a triple D, you know, perfectly fit female on porn and your wife has had four kids and breastfed, her body likely doesn't look the same anymore. Yeah. It doesn't feel the same. It doesn't feel the same for her either. And so that component, like, not that you can't use all of those things, but they have to be used appropriately and and minimized to some degree. So education is really where it all comes down to as far as what their current activities are right now that could be contributing to their

dysfunction that they have. So do we do an intake and you ask questions what they're used? Well, I think it's so interesting going back to the porn news thing and such, I mean, now, after doing this for 20 years, people often ask like, what's change or what's so different? Now I'm like, well, one of the big things is now we have porn available literally in our pocket. So the kids are seeing porn It's a young age now, right? Like maybe eight years old, nine years old And they've grown up with it

So all of their sexual experiences Have been looking at porn So most of it's with their hand, to your point. I used to call it the death grip on their penis Because they're like, nothing else feels as good I know exactly how to hold myself. I know how to what to do And so then they have sex with a human

And it doesn't work. So doesn't mean that you're nothing's wrong with you, you're not broken. It's a corrective experience. It is. We kind of, well, what would be? I mean, I would say to them, protocol would be like, yeah, like put the porn down. Yeah, absolutely.

Or change the grip of your hand or lessen it or just. Right. What would you say? I do exactly that. I still do the gains way of treatment on them because I still, most of the time, they still need improvement in blood flow. Right. So men or women alike, they're still going to benefit from that.

But it is about educating them on, you know, using it less, using pornography less, using their hands less, using it as foreplay. rather than trying to end and have an orgasm and mixing it in with their sexual preference, but there has to be a balance. Because a lot of people might never, that's exactly, they might never even have the experience of having, like, sex, of having, like, intercourse or real sex. They've just had it with themselves or in a certain way. So it would make sense then that you would have to, yeah, get the blood flow going again.

And then they can go out there and try. But we have to have, like, people have to be, like, committed to this, too. If you want to have that kind of connected experience, I think people don't, maybe often don't want to like, well, I got to give it my porn or my hand or my toy. It's like, yeah, exactly. And it's scary for them because then it doesn't work and they know how to achieve an erection or try to. But if we're telling them you can't use this anymore, then there's a sense of failure when they can't get that erection or they can't have the orgasm. Right. And so it's it's about education and making sure.

that they understand it's a process. It is corrective. It's correcting it. Yeah, this is a process. And that's the thing. It's like telling people they can't do what they've always done, but that's what's getting you in this place. And so with sexual health and with sexual pleasure and wellness, it's not like we're saying you have to spend the next like 10 years of your life. Like it could just be over a period a few months. Exactly. Any new wellness routine or workout routine, like if you're taking a new supplements or a new exercise, it's going to take a while to see results. But this is just so key for this challenge that so many people are having around their normal functioning. Like they just, the women, things that they were normally doing and calling sacks or

calling intimacy to kind of change that up. We've talked a lot about sexual wellness, but this, but Gengiv can be used all over the body. Can we talk about that? Absolutely. So it can be used musculoskeletally as well. We can treat joints, soft tissue, muscles. It's great for all kinds of different conditions.

It could be used for injuries in the gym, guys that overlift. I definitely see a lot of them come in. they will have strained or sprained or sometimes even have tears and they're very common biceps. You can use this device to stimulate that healing response in those areas of injury. And it's also good for chronic conditions as well. So arthritic patients have a lot of joint pain. We can stimulate that healing response. We're not always going to get rid of, say, a misshapen arthritic finger.

It's not going to change the shape of the finger necessarily, but we can alleviate some of the pain. And depending on what the condition is that we're treating. Again, it goes back to are we actually healing and, you know, rejuvenating that joint or body space, or are we alleviating pain? And it really depends on the patient and what our goal is with each condition. So, you know, planter fasciitis, a lot of people have carpal tunnel. sciatica. So, so many conditions like that really most of the body can be treated.

As with anything, there's always contraindications that don't qualify. there's really more certain parts of the body or conditions that the patient might have that don't make them an ideal candidate. But the best thing about using this treatment on musculoskeletal system is that the majority of patients are going to see pain relief or increase range of motion after their initial treatment. Yeah. Which is really not anything else out there that's going to do that. I did it at my back and I felt it when I did the huge spot I tried by my back.

Yeah, you feel it right away. That's what everyone was saying. Yeah. And even just here at A4M, the number of people that we've treated on the trade show floor that are like, oh, I've been to the doctor, I've done this. I've, you know, told I need surgery. Nothing gives me relief. Man, if you can get me out of pain, then I'm going to, you know, just shout it from the rooftop. And then I do a treatment on them and they're like, oh my gosh, I can't believe it. My favorite is frozen shoulder. I love treating frozen shoulder, especially,

we'll go back to that perimenopausal to postmenopausal women. We know that that right shoulder is so common to get frozen and to treat that female with, you know, shockwave and end up getting that range of motion back after one treatment is incredible. And that's really consistent with the majority of treatments that we do from most parts of the body with it. So it really is the miracle treatment that no one knows about. It is. Okay. It is.

Thank you so much for being here. I appreciate you so much. Thank you for having me. It's like, well, great. Wow. Okay. Well, if you're interested in getting this amazing treatment, just go to Gaineswave.com, find a provider near you to regain your freedom and pleasure in the bedroom.

That's Gaineswave.com. It's G-A-I-N-S-W-A-V-E.com. You can also find the link in the show notes. That's it for today's episode. Thank you so much for listening to Sex with Emily. And if you love the show, please like, subscribe, and leave a review wherever you get your podcast. And hey, share this with a friend or a partner. It might just spark something.

It usually does. You can find me on Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook, and X. It's all at Sex with Emily. Oh, and I've been told I give really good email. So sign up at sex with Emily.com for free guides and articles and more ways to prioritize your pleasure.