Sexe Oral - François Renaud: Le sexe par pitié détruit ton couple?

Episode Date: February 19, 2026

Cette semaine sur le podcast, on replonge dans un sujet qui touche énormément de couples… l’écart de libido. Pourquoi l’un en veut toujours plus, l’autre moins ? Et qu’est-ce que ça crée à long terme ? On parle de sexe par pitié, de pression, de frustration, de ressentiment, de désir qui s’éteint et de ce moment où la sexualité devient une obligation plutôt qu’un élan. On jase de performance, de dynamique homme/femme, d’attente constante… et de comment retrouver un espace sécuritaire pour le désir. Au programme : Nos premières expériences de décalage de libido Le sexe pour faire plaisir vs le sexe par envie Pourquoi la pression tue le désir La différence entre désir spontané et désir réactif Le ressentiment silencieux dans le couple Comment parler de libido sans se blesser Ce qui crée vraiment le “turn off” Et comment recréer de la connexion sans obligation Le podcast est présenté par Éros et Compagnie Utiliser le code promo : SEXEORAL pour 15% de rabais sur https://www.erosetcompagnie.com/ 🔔 Abonne-toi pour ne pas manquer les prochains épisodes! 💜 Pour ENCORE PLUS de contenu : patreon.com/sexeoralpodcast Suivre le podcast : instagram.com/sxoral.podcastSuivre Lysandre Nadeau : instagram.com/lysandrenadeau Suivre Joanie Grenier : instagram.com/joaniegrenier69 Francois Renaud: https://www.instagram.com/lesexologueca/ Pour devenir partenaire du balado : [e-mail] Pour travailler avec l'équipe du balado: [e-mail]

The podcast of today, like all the other podcast of Sex Oral, is presented by Eras and Company. And then, Eras and Company have made

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for a good moment in 2006 we've talked much of gas lighting, of relations toxic,

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the man, gentlemen of the messier. That's that's really, that's been the last year, that's

a few, someone, that's never to try, and it's a great, a great surprise

in my chum, I've got to all right, I'm sort of, I'm trying,

it's correct. You'd say you'd be too debouchone? And then, then it's all right, it's all right,

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It's sure I'm a prostrate. It's impoverable. It's impoverable because it's really of the porn that's not made for... It's deggolasse that I think so

I'd try that. I'd like that's not that I'm, but it's it that I'm to look Hey, I'm I'm really, really, really, really excited because we're really, really excited today, because we're our bedet, in fact, the vedette of Sexerale,

Francois, who has changed their lives. Yes, it's true. I think it's you, the inveter, that's the most, the most impact of remiss in question on all the Quebecois of this world. All right is people who have listened, the podcast.

The car of desire to the couple that we have sent in the end of the end of

time in the end of three year the sex by pity the gang okay?

It's Franco that we it's it's that it that that

that that we didn't that we didn't even that it's that it

for that for that and even we it's it really it's made

there many many discussions on our couple to to us. No, Chum, they were

content. After, when we had to after it, you know, I'm getting into

people, people, they're chum, they're not not like that. But the kids, we're not

like that I'm going to see to be that, no, conflict of interest. Oh, I've

tried, I'm trying to I'm , I'm sure, well, I'm going to be there, and why,

we can't we really, we can't, we're really, we're like, we're like a relation professional,

and the fact that, podcast also and it's not a professional it. It's a question.

Yeah, but it's even a even if it's very informal, your podcast, it's a real realation professional and I can't

be able to some people, it can create these complications eventually in the therapy. I'm right. It can't

not be not a risk that you want to avoid, so to protect the clientele that we

get this sort of situation. Because in some of it sometimes it could be able to

be in certain circumstances, it can be very very It's a lot turned.

And I've seen, let's we've seen in in 2022 24, is it that I'd necessarily want to

have done to come out of the podcast? Or we'll we'll have to know what you that's supposed

to be in private, you know, it's all that. It's all that's all it's a kind of

impisible and sometimes we can't not impede so we're just the endpaces to get

to be to be in these people. I'm I'm going to listen the course

of the year, I'm 406 four times in my life. Yeah, like, I think,

I think it was the most partaged in my entire of my entire, that the people were

that the people were in it's a good chunk, like the whole at the end of the podcast

that we're talking to the talk of the cause, it's really in a problem but like

Joanne he has the most reasoned is the sex by pity so we

have the good to focus there today to do to do but before

to Joanne, you can't you can't be about how it had an impact on your life personal after that when you're

in studio? Is it to turn to get to return to get there? Well, yes, I can.

I'm after the podcast, right, I'm at the I'm out of, I'm started from this studio

and I was in my car, I'm in questionement. And then after that I'm going to

let's say on, I'm with my chum, we're He was going to the night, he wanted to have a rapport, and I don't

want to, and I didn't want, and there, the days it were to advanceed, and I didn't want, and I didn't want, and I didn't want, and

I was able to say, because I've been the difficulty to say the words, to make some words, we would say, and I had a part

that's so much and I had scared of why you've just not said, because you have just not said, so

at a moment of the time, I've been my podcast, I said, I said, Louis, I'm sorry, you're going to say,

I'm asking for, how many seconds, minutes and seconds, 26 minutes, 33 seconds, if you please. Then I said, if I said,

it's like that I sent. And then I'm going. And then, after that, all, it's changed. There,

he's revenu, and that's like a show where is that, we're, just a, we've, we,

it's sure that, he's so that he's so, because it's It's not not of his fault he's not

made express he's not he thinks he's he's like he's like he's like

And the day where is you go really want to even if it it's a time of I'm on my time of you, it's not

to come to be back to and I'm really that's it's a thing that's it'll have a minute

at a bit of about. And the time where is I'm coming, it's incredible. And there it's like

debloqued this this little circle vicious and it's revenu super sin,

and after that there there's really he's more at the You know, you see, when he sees when he's not tant, he's more receptive, he understands

a lot more, it's changed much, we're changing much our relationship, and it's for that I'm so that I'm sorry, that I'm very much, that's exactly what I wanted to see what

this podcast, that's really long, I've really a long history, but the impact direct, but it's a story really, but I think

that's been chanceous because you're a partner that's, it's, it's, it's, not always the reaction that we

have to, And it's, it's a lot of the same than the women that will have a lot of

a lot of the same but it's it's not much if it's it's not used if it's been to make a

question, and that's we make just the fact because it we feel like and we're and it

and it's it's worse it's that you say let's let's let's do let's do you let's do you

because there's also I'm sure that we're we're we're separate also the sex per piti

and the sex for pleasure also. You know, that sometimes, I'm tend to some in this moment

we're talking, I'm like, I'm the good, my chom, I'm looking, I'm sure of him, I'm

sure of him a bit, let's know, okay? And I'll see that it would be my life,

it's not my activity preferer, well, I'm, I'm going to be a good piece,

but it's not a sex-partity, I'm not like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, I'd like, even if,

it's not not. And she has the distinction, because often, you know, the discos that's in the

moment, often the people use the same discos for justify to do sex parpity. And it's not

what you're on trying to but the fact of, you want to find pleasure to make pleasure to love,

they're all all the people, they're saying, that's like, to be justify, it's correct,

that's not the sex part that I'm the term that people do it's the term, and it's

correct, effectively, of, hey, I've got not the time the good, but I'm the good to make pleasure, and I really

the good to have a good, but I'm really the good, I'm not the I'm doing it, because at least it's like patched

temporarily, like the envy of the other, I'm going to so, what is the motivation of the idea?

Is it really really the really really to find a alarm, it's probably to make the alarm, it's probably,

it's been around, it's been around, or she, me rode alanto, like, it will have to temper a little the tension

that's going to be the real motivation in the rear it's what you're important. But you have to make attention because your

your discourse in a point, but the motivation real in the rear is not really to be able to make pleasure at the other.

You can know, you can know, because I don't not often, you know, so there's so,

so, we're saying that I'm feel like in the time, like, in fact, it's happened,

you know, that's, you've seen my abie black, ball in black and I was with the other ambassadors,

how he was, you know, there was a prestance and I had really really to be very to be able to but that's

it's very that it's a minute it's not in the that's not that's correct and that's correct and the other it's the other

it's because in the other in the other case you're in this in this I said you say it's that

you're just that you're that's you're doing it's it's gonna it's gonna it's a feeling

two three times, three a moment of a moment of a you've got to be in a

circle and it's a time, I remember that I'm in any of the pleasure, but it

can't get to get to the yeah, really. Really. You also? You've

had a minute. It's really. We've had. Oh, yeah,

well, yeah, well, but when let's say, I'm, I'm, I'm at

the same place, you know, I had a same way, like, how you, how you

do you, how you, how you, for me, it's been long and more ardu

I'd because it's like if when I'm when I'm when I'm the same

method that you're going to that's the method typical I've I've to say

that I know sometimes it's like the new fashion now we're on

our time we're not let's we're not we're not But, I mean, not, but not this bout

that, no, but no, but not, not, but not, but not, you know, I'd rather than, but, you know, but no, no, no, that, that, that I'd be able to help in a total. So, so, I'd say, like, I'd say, I'd like, I'd say, and I'd say, to, like, you, it's, you know, like, you? In fact, you're, like, you're listening,

with him, uh, yeah, or, or, I'm afraid, you're, but, like, I'm, let's have played my bar, when I was, you're listening, he'd He'd be the whole of the I'm asking

this boot that's like that's like that's I'm going to assume so it's that's perhaps

that's been that's been more more than being more more than even I'm not

I've not been able to really assume there finally we've been consulted we've seen

a sexologist a bo and we we've been a little at the same conclusion

that it had that it came to be But, but again, it's difficult, and it's like like if

when my girl, my libidot is full revenued. During the during the process.

So, that's all so it's all like, for a certain time, and then, obviously,

I'm, I'm re-accoucher, and then I'll let, again a again again, and I tell you'd

that we embark a bit in this kind of pattern that that he would be more,

and I'm not there. So I'd say I'd say, I'd say, it's a lot of a dynamic that exists the kind of, you know, we'd want to more, I'd rather than more, but it'd tend to really,

all that, all right? All right, it's been in this discussion with? Yeah, we, we, we're saying, there's more, you know, let's go, let's hear of the podcast, and probably that I'd

try to, and who'd be, and he'd be sure, and he'd be there. I'd have no, no, in a lot of a sense of that's so. The situation that you decry, we can't have often our desires not get a moment, our desires

not get, someone has a job, we have an infant, someone who's someone who's a changement medical, that that comes to

you know, you get in a routine. And it's not the difference that's the problem, it's how we're it's how we're it.

Is that actually I'm an or a partner who makes constantly of the pressure and who bode and who shiol? Is that I,

if I'm the partner than that I'm more of desire, I'm devalriced, and I'm like, I'm like, I'm like, break-and-you- and I'm feeling culpable, and I offer the sex-partite when it's not that's that he goes creusely the true, in fact. It's not

the difference, yes, it's kind of an element of the clencher, but the difference is not so enormous than that, but our dynamics, it amplifies, or so that, we agie to more and more desirable, we become disagreable, the sexuality is associated to something

that's not a disagreeable and so there's like, we've got to

have put to have it's a thing, so we're on the put in the way

that's the real the way the relationship and the very very disagriable in a

way or a bit of the sexuality doesn't that the people do you feel like it's

worse the sexuality than our relationship in this moment so I'm in

off even put but in these in the there's there really difference

of libido like, a man who would have a sex, he could have a sex every year,

that he would at all over versus his blonde who wants a year, there's a quite a gross

an gross excor. There's is something to do you have a thing? You have plenty of

to do you, you know, that it's that you can't a strategy semi-gagnant in your case,

it has been a often a little like, in attent to do things, but that's

because it's not the same thing. It's not not the same it's not you can't have the good to, you know,

to have a reaction physiological, of pleasure, the sensation, the fun, but the sexuality with

your partner, it's quite a problem, that's really that that's really that's,

and often, especially the men, more than, if we're in the stereotypes, and it's

be different, but the only place where we can have to have the affection physical. You know, you know, you're doing the

little bit of your time, you know, at the time we're at least in our friends, we're doing your friends, we're doing the hair, we're not

not the film colled, so it's like the only person that's our children, if we're not, and obviously, it's not sexualized

it's affective or it's with our blonde. So, it's sure that it's sure that it's limited enormously the place

where you can have this affection and you can have an affection that's not necessarily sexualized, but the affection that's in the sexuality

and, like, to call it on a sofa, it's not not no more the same thing. If you're an intimacy, an intimacy sexual, affective,

an intimacy, you know, romantic, to the everyday to which you can have to have it with your friends, you

can have to your own, but each of these things, that respond to something to get

to masturbate and they're absolutely to really to be absolutely, it's purely physiologic, at least

you do really a fantas, and you like, you like, you like, you like to have really that's your imaginative, you have to be in your imaginare, it's not the same thing

to be able to be to have someone who and get people who do the word, et cetera. But you know, the way you do it, I'd really more more than I'm sorry

that you're very red, no, no, no. We'd say to understand the reason, of why, in the communication, like,

just to understand that, to understand that a, um, just due to their stereotism, and they don't call

we're we're in we're in we're in we're in we're in we're in what I'm

what I'm not a pite for him well it's not it's like that he's saying that the why

because I'm saying he he can't he can't crosser it's what the difference

he can't be the to say that we're we're we're probably I'm probably

maybe I'm probably maybe I'm all the kind of why why you to the

why you're not? Now, if I understand, there's like a little revert that I'm in sure that I'm generally

generally, it's a bit the reaction of the fact that the women are having to the reason why they want to have the impression

that's like, but you want just to crosser in me, you know, you just to masturbate in me,

and that's something that's something that's a people, they're they're they're having an impression

that you masturbate one in the other, the people are like, yes, yes, it's exactly

that, that's what they have the impression, and it's often the partner that's more the desire, it's like,

but you're going to be going to be just be a receptacle like your like your exitation sexual, like, effectively when you

see it's a bit other way that there's like a reason or an other than just sexual, often the people

are like, it's not, it's not, it's not but it's not, but it's it's like, okay,

it's not the same thing that I'm sorry, By If you can Have you can have This is important It's an moment

Intim for me Sometimes the When they're They're having But their Actions say The contrary They will just

Forer In the front There's not There's not There's not There's no There's no There's not

There's not There's like If I'm If I'm If I'm If you can't It's like It's a

Beasions It's correct If it's If it's It's just Masturbate one in the other. So, like,

you say, well, you do a affair, but you're ready to do a matter, but the fact

that you're not not ready to or make the effort to have a sexuality that is maybe more

global, and a more satisfactory and you're ready to and you're to have to have to be

like, it's like, but it's this incongruance that in your question, and what's,

you're, you're ready to do what you do, that's a good turn-off. Mm-hmm.

What's that, scenario ideal how that's the two persons who are in this imbalance that

so they're because you know the let's say let's on the scenario well the

girl, the woman will plus let's say let's on let's get there's there also

the way that the patit in the eating in the sense that

I'm sure that if I'm not the if I'm not a month or the second me

me derange more If I've had the sexuality the chance that I'm more excited today there's a

also, I'm it's a real, not right, we're doing that's always that the apitia being at mangent,

it's true, if what you eat is good and satisfactory, that's it, that's not, so if it's actually,

we do it for to do it, so that people do you know, with the sex by pite, but I'm like, I'm

I'm like, I'm like, I'm a analogy that I don't so much, it's like, it's like, it's a brownie,

it's a berry, it's a What's what happens is, it's like he purrilled to more and more. So, a moment, the appetite not comes not, what I have, me, me,

me, me, me, convict not. And then, effectively, the people are in a routine sexual,

it's previsable, it's redondent, it's platt, it's super mechanique, it's an exchange of orgas, of, like, I pace your buttes

blot on place, you pace my buttes in good, place, and there's, there's not there's not,

there's a sentiment, in English, there's something that's, there's something that, that's so, The analogy, by

a to eat, to eat, it's a little to if you're saying, if you're something, you know,

that's not something that's something that's that's a more and more interesting. And then the people,

they're going, they're going to get to , and they don't know because it's not interesting.

They're like in, I don't know the good, but I'm sometimes, but I'm still the same time,

but you know, it's all right sometimes, you they're something that cloche not. So, one, you have to

understand, but why in fact, I'm not the good to get a question, why I'm not

this desire that. So, in a way, it's a element in the relationship, like,

there's a thing that's that's that we're in some way, and the sexuality of like,

you know, been there than that, I'm really exciting, or you've never time accorded to that, or I've always

made the things for the other. That's something that I'm something that's something that's something that's

my sexuality has always been asked on the pleasure of the other person. And he's often said, oh, well, I like,

I like to have to make that to make that but they're like, oh, finally, it's pretty time the fun, just to just make pleasure

to the other. And then a way, there's like this realization that, so, so, like, that's like, so, it's like,

it's rarely to do you know, to the day or the day, or in certain circumstances where there's that,

there's very particular, like, like, like, there's, like, there's there some,

it's, you know, some, it's, it's really. But even there's like

there's often there's often there's often it's not in the fact we're not we're not you're not

you're not you're doing some I'm doing this I'm like we're like we're like we're like to say

to say I'm not satisfied sexually sexually it's like stabing someone to be someone in the

heart in your especially when it's when it's you have there's like you're like

it's like yeah it's it's that's like you have not said. But the reality,

it can't also that really the desire is different? Yes, but you're looking for why it's

different. So is there something like an acuchement or a baby? There are these events that are

changing? Is it the routine sexual? We're not not quite. One, we've eliminated

the elements that have like, diminue the desire. Okay. After that, yeah,

yeah, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's, let's,

It's like if, let's it's a part of an event but it

a place to come in a place to come in it's because the way that the way

that had been treated to be a way turn off let's let's I'm

I'm not I'm not you know you're talking about the feeling of like he

is in attend or you think he he attends that that

I feel that's the end up or that's the day of after will be flat if we're not not used to sex

the day, you know, it's all the perfect example that I'm a different and then you're going to be

a different, at a cause of a event like the like the birth or the accouchment that we can

be in a lot of we're put in but it but it's that's the things for maintain that

or what that's a level that's that's relatively similar or there's there's

there's that we're there's that we're there Justly, I sense the roadage or I'm not the pressure

sometimes, the partner no matter, there are not not getting in a not much, they're not, but while

that, and then a time, the women, they're going to say, he'll make not a pressure,

but they're no sense and cease. And that, it's part of the role, maloreously, of the person

who has more of the desire, to get to the pressure, what is not the same the coerce

the coercion. The coercion, is when the other, commence aboud, make the mou, is more agreeable.

That, it's like, it will create a bit of coercion for amplify the pressure. But it's just by my proper dynamic to not respond to the desire of my chum or of my

blonde or of the people in general, I'm culpabilise. And then my culpability has made that I turn a lot of different of

my head that makes sure that I'm in a sense that I'm quite insinifying, but that's amplified

or who was maybe significant but that's more indicative, it's that that's what's that's a

difficult, so that's the situation initial, the cause initial, it is temporary, but it's important,

and if we run in this genre of this kind of the cause is there, like the letter now,

we've recovered of the accrued to whatever, that it's there's a thing that

there's there's been that's been that's that's been now the factor causal. It's

the relation that's It's been to amplify the situation, but not only the amplify, it's been the cause that maintains the problem, even if the cause

initial, is even even more there. And then, it's that it's that you have to go to be able to get to be able to and that's the error

that the people do that people do that's a libido or the desire hormonal and the desire that is more relational.

So your libidot is really, you're a shot of hormone and you're just like horny, and it's just like horny,

and it's not with any part of who you can be masturbate to masturbate in this sort of

when you're monogam generally, generally, this desire that will be to do your partner

but that arreeming of the libido it's really difficult because I can be turning on at 9 hour

the other will be turning on at 10 hour, we just on it's not working,

it's not the people come to me get to us get to get to the other is it's all right to

see, it's never equal, it's never at same moment. No, exactly. And then it's like the people, what's what's

what's going to get to be able to or to be in attain to be in that's a libido so present and that I create my desire sexual

at the travel a relation with the other. Is that I'm my partner? Is that I sedu my partner? Is that I'm

am affectue with my partner? Is it's we're not being, is we do you know, even if it's not a story complete but

just a 5, 10 minutes where we talk to sexuality or we we're talking of our journey, that we have

some of our we're in fact, the desire sexual, rather that I'm going to have to the other. It's often the

thing we're the impression, you know, we're an impression, you know, we're saying, yeah, but it would be natural, like on the beginning. But what's

we do? We're doing on the 36, or so on the 38 4, we'll give some we're just, we don't, we're

on, we've got, we've got, a tension, to, like, touch, and when when when we're We're in both, we're

in time but in time co-locator, in time parent, in as a lot of people, people can't

be in fact but if you have not the role aman, sexualalise never, we're never reference to the sexuality,

we can't never the sex to, we don't know we're not any clindoe or coquins or if you

do you feel to even allusion to that, yeah, there's probably full of libido and often the women

have been many people, you know, you know, you know, it's like almost journalier,

like, yeah, it's 24 You know, while the women, they're typically in line with

their ovulation, it's often there's always like they're like more in the desire hormonal, and they're saying,

but a way really horny, and she, she, she, she, yes, but that's the desire hormonal,

but have you stimulated, the desire sexual sexual relational? And when I say relational, I don't necessarily

I'm not necessarily to say affective, romantic, it can be but the desire sexual relational,

is also, is that, is, is, just, I'm, I'm present of fashion sexual.

Is that I'm I'm more, I'm going to more like a person deserable also sexuallyly. I can

give plenty of caline, but if I'm in the caline, I'm in trying to stimulate the desire

sexual. In the same time, let's let's talk about my reality, it's my partner,

he's see, he's a he's all he's all he's all. He's all right. He's no problem with that

that, that's really not someone can, he can can give some, there's

No, but there's not these big complex, even I'd be the same quite quite quite

so. I'm a big double bag at the house. But let's let's

let's say that, at a contrary, that the approach is directly more sexual

but there's not there's not a lot of people, like, I'll

give the pair example, But, let's say, oh, a photo of Bitt. Then you're like, let's say anguil over, all the day of, that's why you're going to be

a photo of your grain, that's right? That's what? Yeah. That's the contrary. He's too, and it's justly, and it's just a rodage,

in the, I'm like, I mean that. There, I'm not too. Yeah, he goes with a person a new person.

Oh, I mean, you see, it's an example perfect. And she, she'd like, and,

she'd like, to have, to have, more of the there's really, there really not the go of foray, he has just to have an

to have an to have, and he's like, and then he's and then you, there you'd would like the , because

often it's that, we're, we're not, and we're that, it's me, there,

there, there, there, he's just like, he's just like, yeah, it's like, it's,

it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, it's, a other problem that we're that we're going to see, that person who has

a person who has, like, a little, make, that's, that's just the sexuality, that's just

that's just that our approach. And so, also it's problematic. When there's not actually that between, effectively, the seduction

plus affective, the calend, and that's all the time, but it's all the time, but you want to say, like, you want, like, you

never, something of just affective, you never be with me, just for to be with me. It's like, you're like

to be with me because you want to be that, so, so, if you actually, there's actually there's a

feeling between the seduction sexual and and the seduction sexual, it, it's problematic. I'm talking more I'm more

the case where the people are like, but we're we're communicating well, we're talking, we're saying

and we're doing so, it's a new dynamic, but also the dynamic that you just came to be the

all the time, you're like, you're like, you're like, you're like, so that when the other will even

make something affective or do you have you you're like, what's like, what's the end of that

what's what, it's what your intention? I, Dek the two seven are cruechee, I'm trying to an animal that's

maddened. I'm sorry, we're talking about the two years and then the eyes and let's see a minute. I think of the

strategy, how he will do that? Possible, and we're chasted that gazelle, it's exactly

that we had, it was a situation of my sister, it was that that, it was, they'd be,

he'd because he he'd because he wanted to get a relationship, so it's

how they're, other, because, you know, we have a lot of people, we know how they like that, but they're, what's he's they've got to their own,

they have the go to foray. They do you know, they're doing the pressure, but in time it's he's just, you know, that's the,

the, the, the, the, the game enter, is, is the , is I can express,

to express the expression of the non-dazir of the other person? And, so, is that everyone

can, is that everyone, that, of part and other. Is that my child or my blonde that has more of the desire can't express his desire without that I'm

a menace, that I'm like, envised, or I'm feeling gossed or rite, et cetera? And is what, I'm able to

noming my non-dezir by rapport to that? When we can express my desire, you can express your own desire, and we're able to be able to

be respectfulue face to that. Deja, to make that that, it's in sort that all the world's

who's actually that's the space to come to come in my end of my name I'm in fact

I'm not I'm never never talk to talk about and they're that he can never make the limit

or it comes with the mood of the woodry or that it's far that's that makes a way that

it's a kind of that's it's different like it to do you until about to

those men sometimes the women often the them even don't understand not that the

sexuality it It's a response also to these people who are they're so they're so they're so they're

they're not they're not they're not they're often rejected, they're often not desirable of their partner

because you've done the example of your child who when you're a bit of a bit of a bit of a

very intense no I'm not I'm not the good I'm not I'm like I'm maybe I'm maybe be desirable

I'm probably but my blonde she she's like there's something there's that there's that they're often

they're They don't really really who have the most they're in their own, they're like, they're like, they're in

a couple that's like, who's fine, that's that's, they're in their own, they're not necessarily

formulated, but it's not necessarily formulated to that. By the other people, there's just that they want. All what they

they want, it's really so masturbate with their mind, with their blonde, and that's it. There's not

that, there's not the good to, to, to, to, to,

to, to, to, or more interesting for them and for their partner. But I'd

say that the majority, what I'm more I'm doing more, is that they want to get to get to have

something, but they're like this blockage that also they don't not have been to be affective,

even with their blonde. So, you know, that you can look at the person that was there

is someone that's a person who is that's not, is that is that we were, if it's

I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, perhaps, maybe the

the son, had been touch, Kalline, and all that, but very rapidly, this guy

that's he's a year of and he's a little bit and he's not a question that.

So, he's not to be to do you to do a fact that that's that's

generally the way that the guy would be going to get to that would be

a a man of a kind of when you when you react

really, it's often actually a problem, a fragility, an insecurity, an insecurity

that is often much by these people are mal-saint and disagreable that's just

in sort that the person that has more than the person has more to have a relation sexual.

And when you see a insecurity that is mal exprimed, you know, that's not clearly

like I'm not like I'm not sure, or I'm self, I'm made to be to put a

attention on the children and that I'm not can't be able to but you when I

see that that's express to be like it's more admirable and desirable so I'm more

more than you take more than a recule face to your approach sexual I'm saying I'm saying

he'd would be this conversation I'd say I'm don't know I'm trying I'm trying

like the like the type of that you say there's that's just but I'm I'm just

I'm just I'm just that I'm pretty crossate to all every year it would it's never

satisfactory but I don't not more that it's to be related to some that's

that's that's I'm going to I'm going to my blonde every year and why he would have

to be in what he said to what it to say it's come, let's say, so she has her own,

she has the first of affection, and he explained that every time it can't get to

a genus a sort of an sort of in plus so it could be it could be

it, we know, maybe that she said it had plenty of affection, my father, well, we have

the answer so it's it's so that it's so that it's not it's not, there's a there's a reason

why, yeah, well, but it's, but it's, but it's, your example, and your

example is perfect for plenty of other person, is to be but why you want to do you want, what's

what's what it's what you what's to say you to do that you're there's

there's some physiologically agree why you want to why you want

to be Why not not someone because it's with me that's what you want? Well, what's the

I think it comes to come up to say it's it's a lot. It would just do you know to do you to do you know

to do that it's not it's not because it's like it can be it's like, but I'm but I'm not

exactly. Exactly. So it makes a sort that it will be able more more than

when you actually this kind of this kind of it's like it's like it's like it's not

a activity to do you it's not an activity for you're you. So, don't why, it's not

it's not to be to the do you know, so how you're in the podcast I'm sorry

I'm not, I'm really the intention. It's for that all the long, I'm trying to to think,

I'm trying to say, I'm like, it's like, all the things that we're talking, they're

around how he's, you know, how he was you know, you know, and I've said a

, you know, we didn't, we, we didn't, we, we didn't, so, cast,

he'll figure, and he will come to see what we're doing this we're doing we're in a little

thing that's a question that I've about the mind mapping. It's like a cartography in fact of the other person. The mind is

like your thinking it's like mapping is like a map. Okay. So what I see is that

you're constantly in trying to determine what will be the impact of your behavior and how

the person will react and how you constantly in trying to do that. even more in a relation

sexual. So when I'm trying to brace the sauce spaghetti, the monsham arrive in the and then he

he's in his bra and he he gives a bit of the back. I see what that's what he's not

an interpretation that you can have to be to have to be a question, depends of plenty of things. One, of the

relationship, is, is he does he does he has done a bit a bit really very very dull

he has made his mind on my and he is like part after? Or he came

of a a way a little more, like the anguoree he's a lot of he's got to he's got to

me frotty a little he's he's made his hand proche of my end of my end of the

arm, even the not the tonicity to the tonic to the he's frot a bit

like the penis on my face, I'm not the same that's he just

come up he's just he's like he's like he's like he's like the intention will be

constantly interpreted and you know when you embrace your partone you do that

also. Now, my partner, he me give a bit of a bit of a bit of a canard. Perfect. It's finished. A bit of a bit of canar. Perfect. Now, your partner, he'd be able to impress a little more angurooose. The children are cuched. Ah, he wants to probably have a relation sexual. And then, you want to communicate that it's

so. So, you're going to to give them to dock, like that. For at least, he has to try to indicate to the other person for that he can't map it in return that you don't know, without you'd have been to be able to do you say. Or you're just to cochet.

You're just to have to Exactly. Or, like, like, or the other, you get to rejoin in the life. You're doing to start to start a sudden to start

to start with your or you're just before than other person. We have plenty of of fashion, we're constantly in trying to

checky, what's the other want. And the partner that's more the desire, is always in trying to check

if you're a good moment? Is it good humor? How is it passed the day? Is it

is the people are like occupied in in this moment and I can put to make a move. Arc.

It's like, I'm just, I'm in the car, because you see, you know, to do you

know, it's at the other end up, you know, the way, the way, the way, the way,

and I say, it's like, that's, it's like, it's like, because it's, it looks desperated,

it's like, but it's that's the interpretation that you have to be a , it's

considerably change. And it's not that the mind-mapping, it's not something because it's

what it's It's not really of a positive. If I have an interest, and you're a little regard coquain, and I'm an interest,

I'm going to get your regard. But if I want it, you know, that's a person that I'm not an person who

you're not my partner, and I've got the good in this moment, I'm going to get a way different.

And there also, is that I can't do you know, is it can't be sometimes, that can't be

some people, they'll be able to be able to make more affection in the relationship, just to respond to to the business

to more to my partner. But there, if I do something of affective, but the other interpret that I do just that

when I want to do the sexuality, my approach will not, because the other is in trying to interpret it that you're,

you know, and then a time, the other people are going to like, but in a time,

I want, just me call me, but I can even do you can't make that because

you're still at the conclusion. So, in a time we do we do some of

many many it's also what we permit to have some the most relationship and the

bad sex so if if I'm actually I'm I'm in the way I'm know that my part of the

personer is more more than interested I'm in mind-mappe I'm know that you don't know

that you're just out of that it's finish, I'll be going to make the sexuality

more more interesting and the person who of the sex parpity is in

trying to mind-map also that is not really not really not really by my

satisfaction and it's that that's that that create eventually the doug.

I'm with a partner, and it's a lot of people, I'm with a partner, who is in trying to be able to beze, I'd say not to make the moor, but he's around to

bease, and he has not concerned, the fact that I'm that I'm satisfied or satisfied or not. So, a moment, the sentiment of

the degue starts to start. But the other also, mind-map that you're not interested, that's all the time who it's all

the mind-mapping he also, there's a mind-mapping of the other in the sense that you, you see that the person

clearly respect not your real in life, but he respect that you repose at your toe to bring up

this mind mapping that can be used to use to if we have a good relationship, I think,

by example, you respect the non-desire that I express the desire that you express, but we have

a good interpretation of what's what's what we're when we can't get to

the dynamics that are more fun, the comments passive aggressive, some things that we're

doing the same that's the double the sense, the sarcasm, it's the mind-maping that me can't be able to

capture that in fact. You say a thing, but you do your contrary because you're a tone sarcastic,

you're a tone condescending. It's what that's that's what is what I'm also, like I

say, to pre-voor how you want to react to see a thing. So,

before I make a move for to try to try to to be to be to be

potentially how you you're not not sure, but I'm already calculated potentially if I can if I can't do

if I can't do it. He can't be guaranteed. The partners who have more to desire are constantly,

constantly in trying to mind-mapping is, is he going to make that he does it? He has more deser, not he has

more of the decision. Who has the other than the same thing? Is it a good moment? Is it a

more? We can't maybe I'm going to risked. I'm going to some time you there's a calculation

that is that is that I If you're going to take the risk or not, and often what happens in this calculation that is, if the risk is elevated that I

make a lot of I'm going to make a little effort. So I'm going to say, we'll say, we'll do do that at so

I'm going to make a packet to be seduire and to be super-agreable if I feel that the risk is elevated

so I'm going to make more more of effort, which is a bit paradoxal because the more that you're more you're of

the chance, more you have to make the effort. But it's more If I'm not, if I'm at least If I'm saying,

and then I'm saying, and then I'm going to a new because of that. So, that's what that's what I'm to mind-mappy that you're not really the desire.

So what I do, so what I'm trying, and I hope, you know, a point of a point of a point, but I'm not. Yeah,

you're doing, you do, do you do? I'm, well, no, you know, why you know, you know,

you know, you know, it's good, and, you know, it's, it's right, but to, to be

I just to understand. I just that's a thing that I had made that I really really really

really had really really but it's, but it had brought quite some because in the fact

what I realized, it was that it was that I had to my little bit of the

side to have the sexuality before. It was that to I'm auto prepare to

okay I think that I'm maybe I want to I'm start to think of

some that I'm I mean, I... To build up, you know, and then it had like all the time that it was

like he went to because as he came back it's like I'm like I'm afraid of, I'm afraid mentally, and I'm

physically for a relationship for a relationship. So it's not never. It's like all the time that it's

a decision that I've been pre-alab that, okay, this night that the time that the time when the

time that's the time absolutely that it would absolutely that it's a viz to of me but in time for him

it's a challenge because he's like I can't never get to get my blonde you know

I'm always you're in the same yeah I'm there's like I'm there I'm there and I'm

see I'm see you know I'm like I'm like I'm like my blonde but I'm he's a

he can't he can't be part because if you don't know I'm in I think it's

there's there's a so he's he's like taboo to talk about it because if

it's it would be who's, who's all the time, sort of standby.

So I'm that for him, it's a very, but it's very that you get to get

the scenario the beginning, my time I'm the true, I'm a same, you know,

every time that's that's bad, to a Z, like, and especially now,

like, the preliminaires it's made up incredible, you know, so, so,

so, although, we're even not the preliminaire, we're like,

piff, p' you, it's, it's like amyiorated with the time, but it's true that what he

has turned off at the final, it's the way that it's how it's been received and that's that I've

done, and that he's done the dynamic instorried at that that that's made off because if I think I'm

probably of the sexuality this night, but there's something that's something that's that you're

an dynamic that's not you're not able to, there's a The way of how we're like we're

doing that? You've you've got to you're a other type of figure that's super typical

like the people who the person who the partner who has more that's always that's always I can't

be initiates, it's never me who can't if it's that's just it's super frustrating for

the person that's just when you're you're just that you're doing that you have to do that's like

all the control of your sexuality and in the part of the person that's more of desire control the sexuality that she wants or that she wants to

that, she makes really really a lot of pressure, all the person who has more of desire to get in uncess with the reject who can come potentially with that. What I'd say in your call and who's going to help

help, is that maybe a step to plus to do that, is that when he does you can't do that's able to see that like an invitation? An invitation that you don't say,

you've got to you're active in the five next minute. But an invitation of, oh, my chap, I'd like that, con seduise, that we pass a

good moment ensemble, who is sexualized. I'm not turning on in this moment, but I've been to be in

a way to be a move that. It's not. It's can't be the response no,

and that's correct also. And then he does get to with the name, but if he

did like the invitation, you're not initially receptive, but maybe you're like to be

like, maybe more than, then you're, then you're to come to do to do it

to do you. So, yeah, it's it's part to come in this dynamic

that, it's the seduction affective and sexual should be something that is relatively a bit of

quite quite. So, you know who really has really when it's always like an little ongoing

finally. I'm already pasted at another show and I said, the seduction comes

where the last where the last time that's how you after it's,

it's it's to get to get in a mode, like I want to

you're said, that's we're said, that's that's All the suite, is what he will

make sure we'll recommence the next build up together. Just the fact to be able to be able to bring his cell

after, like, I'm, for real, it's just, it's rare that when it's rare that when it when it's not,

I'm, for me, aftercare, after, after, after, he's full significant

and he's full important, so if I'm if I look that he's there, he looks to look at after,

I'm, it will be and I should have not... Yeah, and you just you've been to associate the sexuality to a form of deception. It's minimal,

it's been super extraordinary, but it's like, oh, there's also there's a lot of, there's a... There's a... There's a...

So, it's a little petted, a little tabule, and then a few, you can't you can't do you know, for a day,

it's super well, and there, there's a... there's just, like, shia the other, that's just like,

irite the other, and you just, then you just, like, to do what you just that you do what you just a year of pair.

The turnoff are totally than the turn-on for the majority of the people. It's a shame. For the majority

of the majority of people. So, not only eliminate the plus of possible, but it's

augment the turn-on also, but it's like, you can have plenty of turn-on, and it's just to have a little thing,

but it's like, but it's like, is, is, is, I'm, I'm,

maybe, to, and, maybe, too, to, like, it's like, the most

little bit thing, I'm, it's, It's like it's decent. You know, that in a few, you know, we're able to be able

to be able to get a lot of things also to get a lot of things that's significant also, but it's like they're going to get to get to

that's a bit of the morning or whatever and he, and then after me'd be, like, we'd be like, I'm like,

I'm, like, I'm, like, I'm, if you're trying, to try, I've passed this morning. You're, like, you're,

you're just, you're just, I just, I just, just, I just, just, I just, just, I just, the good

bodice to the little you want to make the blue I've wanted to the

black I'm in the same the same I'm not the I think the

the feet we're a little bit more we're we're in the turnoff like you

are more are more far I think it yeah there's something there's like a

tangent that actually often often after after a conflict it's like to maintain

the conflict or to want to want to sometimes the sex will come

plus more amplification the sort of it's not with me that you want to because if it's

really with me you care it would be it's like, it's like, the little chikin that we've had been in the

time, you know, you're like call-list that I'm just me mad, like that, you know, the fact that

has their don't mind the fun, they're more affected by the turn-off, I'm like a

yeah, it's a reinforced your sentiment to not be the, but it's not with me

this sexuality that, yeah, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's not, it's,

it's that it's, It's that it depends, it's what that's what's, is it, is I'm in front and I'm in front of something,

and I'm going to keep, like, evite the conflict? Or is, is it really so important that's in some moment,

and you have really to get to the energy there's a when it's a bit badal. Yeah, absolutely.

So, so that's what you have a context, there's a relationship, there's a there,

and all right to do that, and all right to do you see that, like, we're just paste to be able to

be able to be able to, so that's It's sure that it's a turnoff. But the other, but not all the emphasis on the fact of having to have a sex,

it's just like, okay, but why we make out of importance on the job of those, you really, like,

maintain. I think it's never arrived, but I'm just saying that. But it's a perfect example of the people,

sometimes the people, people, and then the time, this amplification that, it is also

an historic of plenty of frustration in arrasation in a so you have also to understand

because I'm not, because I exaggerate not, but it's the accumulation of plenty of of like,

it's a thousand times that I said to putt like, you know, why you're not to get these bores too, it's like,

when it's like, that's got to other things also, it's like, you're going to get the historic of the irritation.

The little thing is perhaps banal, but the historic not it's not necessarily. There's, there's,

there's, there's not more relational than the desire in a couple, and it's, and the error

that the people think they think that the desire is something something that's something should be natural, that would have been near

easily, and there's nothing to there's a lot of time. Aye, okay, it's good, so.

Meton there, you have a day, a Monday, in your time, it's the routine that you come out of

the morning, there's a day, there's a lot of the two, that would be a lot of a Monday, without the

person who has the plus of desire, and the person who has the more to the desire for that at the end of the

day, there is a sexuality positive for the two. Wow. It's, at the time of this journey there. A whole strategy he has developed to, no, but I just have what we'll do one of the next. Is that, is that

there's been a lot of there just agreeable between you two? Two, is there had something like, you know, we said tantos, affective, romantic? Is there had a build-up

of the attention sexual for that, just when the children are cuched, you have all the two the go. But if I I commence at 8.30, at the end of my day, fatiky, and I've been

done, we've been doing, we've been like the callocator, we've been talking about as far as it, it's a good day, it's the time, it's the arrival in the job, there's nothing, there. There's nothing to sexy there, and then, the reality of being parents, is that you have to seduire between the role of parents and

the collocator. That's the part that's the part that's the two couches. Exactly. Exactly. But there's a bit of marred. But there's a lot, but it's They're going to be able to departage these things

and there are people who are effectively of the difficulty that's often, I'm having to change to role, to pass to the mare to the man to the mant or the mar

to the amorous. They're like, they're in a role unique and they're like, you know, they're the misery to do multitasking if I can

me permit the term. It's because I'm really in a creation of personage, it's really like between the takes I'm in time. I need to

start to my role, remarked in I'm barqued in I mean, I'll let it, you know, I'm going to get Range your dream. It's not

because you're perfectioned, like, that you want to no, I'm just Chris, there's a second,

I'm in trying to nourire my manhap. That's the second of the I don't know to suce a bit? No,

I'm in an instant maternal, whoa. But it's that, you know, there's a mark of buildup.

Yeah, you're on another one again, but the people, but the people,

effectively, you know, when we're We're coming to be dating, the first thing that you'd do with the person, is that you'd make a bese on his jule, you'd be ponied not

the entrejamb, but often in a coup, we skip that, it's like, you're my blonde, you're mon chum, we'd just be able to be able to be

to get to get, to get to get, to get to it, we're not, we've put these efforts, we've been to attend the build-up, we've got,

when I'm a desire, you would have partage that, at the same intensity than I'm, so I'm going to go,

because I'm horny up all the day with my fantasies, and that you're not there, but how's that? You're not there. I'm going to say, you're even responded, but in the meantime, I've continued to build-the-up all, and the other,

he's going to in a meeting, and he's a stress, and there's a see, and he's a-huh, and he's arreter to build-the-up. So, we're not in the same place, so. F'clock, it's something that's ongoing, that's maintained during the day. And we're talking to, but it's on three, four years, too, yeah, because it's not every day, yeah. Well, it's not, and there's a lot of

it's going to be at every day and then it's what they're able to do they're not quite, but it's not people who are

people who are able to it's not really to be able to if it's like, if it's just like, if you're going to if you're saying, if you're,

if you're saying, okay, we're, we're, we're talking, this morning my job is parted and I'm saying good morning,

I'll be not that's a new surprise at this time, you know, it's a mo, for me, because,

well, in inside. So, like, he, like, I'm in his I've made my job, I've made my job

of buildup, he's quite, you know, bye, but after that, I'm not in front that's true, that's true,

so I'd would have been to you're in a little texto, like, like, yeah, it would be

a bit more, or it's just in your way, but you know, but there's that's just, well,

there's quite the other, it's a it's more the job of the person, that's more than I'm

that, so, so, so, so, so, so, to my so,

so important with that the build-up on the side, because it's plus it's a

no, no, the whole to the build-up over the other and for it's not,

okay, okay, okay, so if, actually, I'll let's a perche

of a sexto that, that makes allusion to the sexuality, it's can there's there's

there's there's a day, but if each of your board, you continue to anticipate,

not apprehend, but anticipate this moment that, it will be you're going to be a bit of,

you've been also have this build-all-la between you two that's not it's not the time it's

not a time it's not always necessary but in a few you know it's he spin he spin in his head and he's really

really content and he's really doing my job I'm doing my job, I'm getting to get to happen to turn to

and you get to be nothing it's sure that you're still that you're still if you're not

building up it's it's actually it's actually it's actually to have you know you're

to launch it's persuas even when that we not necessarily in life of like, I'm not

I don't want to do you know, I'm just fair allusion. And then I'm going to start to build it up. He will be

maybe to be relance something. He will me texted something to have a sexual. And it's a

time. And it's just chiant, they're not they're going to they're going to get to we're going to

get to we're going to come the couple that's not the couple who will have like,

look, we've had we've had a pleasure to seduce today. We're can't

have been more a moment, of sexuality. Is we an a relation sexual?

No. We've got kind of building up something. There's a question. Parti remise.

And that's there where is the, let's let's not, let's just just like, I don't know finally,

finally, like you say, we're getting chiant. The other, to not the crime all the

whole day ons have seen. PIRR to have. You can know your deception.

You can say, I'd have really I'm really I'm really in it's correct to noming

your deception but is it I'm culable face of the fact that I'm disappointed or I'm just far like oh it's not

I'm going to it's not great we'll build up for tomorrow maybe it's that if I'm if I'm trying to try to retentate

to relance the invitation at the current of the but there you're like a blue boss that's fucking poche

that's like it's the last time I want to write this texto that or I'm just only to do it

if I'm absolutely certain or certain that I'm really the good. So, what is it I'm trying to I'm trying to

I'm trying to that I'm that I'm that I'm trying to make because if I don't know at the other

that I'm over the other who react is super mad. So I'm being certain to me run at the boot.

So, so that's it's it eliminate plenty of moments of complicity, of rapprochement that could

functioning. So, not only we have more of more of more of moment of seduction and of complicity on the

so it's like you're double-per-d-d-d-dress. But it's effectively that all the world be able to be able to know my desire and that other

reactists not because I just launched a perche an invitation. Is that the other, when I do I'm able to me retire at

all moment? You know, when we're talking about the consentment that's that's so. Enlever

your consentment, it can be me felangus, in plain milieu of a penitration. It's It's a bit of a moment I'm going to debark for whatever reason.

I'm in, I'm in a moment, it's just fared point, point, point. But, sometimes the people of, in plain milieu of, like, to seduress, and all right, it's so much malaysant. They're like, I'm just continuing. I want the chicanorkegon or the reaction of the other person. In fact, you, it's an other example of mind mapping, I prevoire the wrongness the wrong. Versus, if I'm a mind mapping of, I know, I know that other will be very react.

Hey, I've got the problem. I, I understand. But I don't know. not say that I've not said that I've got really the gout that we had a moment really intense

sexuallyally. You've made up there's up there's a lot also to live my deception. Does he can, when there's a

deception, is that, is that, it's just been the situation where you've you go to he's

he's saying, la la la it, finally it's not, it's all cute you're really and it's

finally, it's totally, oh, no, it, it's, it's, it's,

it's cush the other bar, and, you know, I'm like, after that I'm like, okay, you're like, no, I'm just to come, he's like, well, you know, but you know, but, you know, but, you know,

that's, you know, I was just not far as the mo, but I thought it's the fun that we're in a rapprochement, and now, you, you know, you, he's like, he's like,

he's just to get, but, then, yeah, I'm just , like, that's, so, that's, it's true, it's in mind, and that's, you know,

but I'm, but I, you're but I, but I, you need, you say, you know, he's a deception.

So probably it's that it's a probably, it's a good of, it's not a question of the

time when the other's not time, but in the same time, I know, I know that when I'm

that's an emotion that's difficult to control it. And it's a little directed to the other in the

sense that, yeah, yeah, it's true, you know, you've done to have done I'm sorry,

I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm talking to but in the but in the same,

but in the I'm going to be at the two bars, it's a great way, yeah, exactly. And it's that, it's a lot of,

you can't have someone, it's going to be like, oh, well, is we can't do do you do something, or can't even make fun at the interaction, it's just to make fun

to the progression of the interaction sexual. But it's like, hey, my deception, I'm really building up, I had really hot, and like,

I'm not in. It's sure that it's a little a mark, and it's like the person who has more of desire or the person,

do be capable to make, I'm, I'm sure for the other I'm sure that's a deceivant. Now,

is that the other is dissu and is just like in trying to, like, you know, to get a deception

and that's not the good, actually, or I'm in a mode punitive. You're like,

I'm not to be a text, well, I don't know to give not an same thing.

But it's it's not the air of the same that's that's also the person that person

who receives the person who tolerance also to decevoir the people. Is that you start to spend and culpabilize

and oh my my God he's not he's not content and then we're going to pass a whole

a week that's not a lot you're probably doing to do like I'm I'm a bit I'm a bit because I'm

not the good to pass through and I'm afraid and I'm very but just before to get to get the pon it's not

it's not the fun and then sometimes I'm dissue I pass to other things together, but it's not there.

But the intention on the rear of that and how I interpret the intention also? Is it I'm trying to do you know,

or it's like, it's a moment that's a different we're doing but we're going to pass a travel. What is touched,

is that the person who has been the plus of sexuality, for having more of sexuality

for like, what's what he has I'm trying, I'm trying to make in the paw to my chum,

what's, what's, because I think because I think because I think I'm trying to try to let's just

a job person to make on I know that I'm he's in therapy also to his and he's in your case that's just

I'm just that I can that he can't that he changesra not his example that he rest the guy who

he makes that's can't do that that you do that you make a way that makes the other

in the other in the same in the same direction to say? I'm what is that I'm saying

Is it clear? Yes, yes. So, actually, it's just a person to change or do you know,

to know, to make a changement in the dynamic. Yeah. By course, eventually, it's possible,

it's possible, it's not the you know, you'll be able to realize that is really disagreable. It's

can't be that your conclusion will be like, we're perhaps we're perhaps to be some of

different but that it's a point to be there, and then I've to be

the choice to tolerate that or to to do it's not it's not it can't it's not

it can't to make a a process of an process of an process of my partner will always be that we're trying

to talk about we've got to talk about therapy or the other is in a lot has always the same

reactions face to the situation but I am responsible to want to want to want to want to

change people that I'm talking about when he has been an invitation I'm open to be over at

the open to is able to make my limits when my limit. Is I'm able to accept the deception of the other person, and not mal reactive when the other

has maybe the misery to gerry his deception? Is that I'm able to make a limit that when the deception is exprimed of a fashion punitive or very disagreeable or even coercive? I'm able to make a limit face of that. But if the other continue to perdurier there

in, it's possible that it's like, you see, actually, that's like you see some part of your partner who are maybe too immature and insecure, that it will be able to be with this person but what's going to be generally, is that a person who will start a bit of chement

who will start to change the engrenage or the dynamic and then will have to have a choice is, is I continue to act in a way immature that makes sure that I have always not what I want where I'm actually to

make a progress, to bring my responsibilities, to gerry my proper insecurities and to go ahead to join my partner in this maturity. And then we'll be

maybe have more of more of sexuality, or, do more of sexuality satisfacete. And, you know, you have done the example of, you know, the guys who want to do like the love every year, like,

but often, if you'd do the more every year with us other, they'd like us, they'd be able every year, because the other,

there's just the go, one time per month, it's sure that you're all the good, we don't respond to it, you know,

it's a bit like, I go down the fridgedeer, and the fridgede and it's all the He's still open the fridge of air because he will

expect that there will be a minute. Exactly. A point in a minute I'll know, it's the time of

the ovulation. She has the good, perfect. I can't come to buy my business. But there for the 20

next year, it's sure that does that this impression, that I have the good every day. But if I

eat the regular, I'm just I simplify very much the sexuality because, you when I'm

talking to comeble because you talk about to be desirable, to me feel disire, to me feel plice

with my partner or my partner, but if, effectively, the fridge of air is more often responded, but I'll be more gossed by the way of that. And then the strategy

of the people who have more than to gossed, and that's hathed. You know, it's often that the strategy, you know, why you've said, but why you know it

you've done an example that's why you want to be able to because you'll be there to learn to do tomorrow and after tomorrow and after to say, because a moment you're not

I don't have to be that you will be maybe me say, but you're a strategy that actually not because you're

just gossing. And the refus accumul of the person who refuses also in the sense that you're like oh, a man, you know,

a other time when I said no, and it's and it's an amplifying the sentiment degeu, you

yeah, exactly. And the person who's constantly retweet also, we've been like, we're

like, we're like, we're still, we're you're doing the effort? Yeah, but if I'm

my effort, I'm still even a non, yes, but you have to do make this effort

more than a lot of because it's not you're not to be able to be able to it's not going, it's not,

if you know, if it's more difficult, it's a well that, let's see, let's see, let's see,

this podcast that, let's on, that, let's on, that's the only person to make a

move to change the dynamic, let's on that person who would be said when he approach,

who, who says, no, by reflex, now, and let's let's say this person that has not changed. What is the partner

who, he has the good to make a changement, what is he can do you talk to and he has more the desire and who there's not no longer than

it's the only to make a work, let's turn to change the rule, he's what he one of the first thing,

the theme of the podcast was the sex perpity is to categorically refuse to have that. When you

start to refuse to have of the sex parpity often the person who has more of desire, they're like,

I'm, the people are like surprised in a lot of they're not, they're not, they're not, they're also,

or inquiet, to be afraid, to be refusing to offer you to offer you do sex parpity. And it's not in the

view to make how I refuse and I go to watch and how the other react,

it's really it's a question of respect so-mame. I'm I'm respect as for

to stop the little miette that we don't. I want and I exige the good sex

and if we offer something that is not the bad sex I'm going to be a way respectful it's not

punitive it's really I'm respect and I'm I'm not to say to I'm not I'm not

I'm not I'm not that I'm sorry that it's really it's really to base

because there you integrate the respect all simply I'm I'm against the fact that we're

there's a not a I'm in a partner who wants who wants to that's, how it's how it's present

that, let's say, because, how, how they're how they're not, no,

but how, if, let's, we'll you confas the mo, we know, how,

how, how, how, someone that would say, you'd say, you'd say, but,

but with the way that you're saying, that's, that's, that's, man, It's like,

when he said, okay, we're like, we're and then my time, I'm in the impression that's a

person, that's the person's cranked, that's the arrival in cocheon, you know, you know?

So, so if the guy is, like, no, you know, you know, I've been, I've been

all right, I've been too, it's after a month in a while it's, maybe,

maybe to make a new, a lot, In any of us, it's a full-market the deadline, you know, maybe, you know, I'm saying, hey, you know, like, during the last

two weeks, we're, we're off, like, I, you know, to demand anything, and we're, and we're in to have to be in front, and there's a lot of sexuality,

I'm really, really, in the deadline, I'm an impression. No, but you're, you're a dynamic for change, your dynamic, you don't,

you know, I'm going, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm not, I'm not able to, I'm able to, re-rere the situation,

I would have not I'd just we've got arrested to have having to have the sexuality and we're starting to

have to have a bonn and you know it's like I'm quite I'm sure I'm glad the podcast

you know we're doing you know it's like it's a repete but it's that's that

that's that each strategy not functioner not for all the yeah yeah you know

you've had you you're you're you're a chm that was a chance

that to have like we we're on a reset perfect we change the things, I respect

to enough for that, I respect enough to bring a conscience that's not what we have to be able to get to be able to but it's a good, but it's like

you say to get people, like, okay, but now, it's still you can't, then there's a time, well, if we're not done in two weeks,

we're in, we're doing it, in two weeks, then we're in, and then, if in two weeks, you're never,

you're doing, but what's the feeling, you're the, and so soon, the dynamic that's what you're what we call the Pact of the Diabble in therapy of Coupe, is that the partner

that has more of desire, will demand, or the partner has more of desire, they're going to say, okay, I'll have to be to start. The partner that has more to desire, stop. So, what's what do you

get to do? Oh, it's the fun, that? No, no, that's the fun, Monday? I'm going to, I want to go in other

day tomorrow, Monday, not, no pressure. Macraudy. There's two days that I'm doing, it's at two days, it's at temperament, but now I shan the pressure,

I feel the impression to do you know, because it's it's a few years, that I'm trying to but it's always no,

you know, you see more the pressure, and then you're to see more than more irritate, that you do this,

but it's just on the time, it's on, it's a week, it's a few times, two, three weeks, we're,

to say, that's, then the person, she comes to rowdy and it's inatt and then you mind-mark

that the other attend, and who is that's an , like, he's done, they're not responded,

they, And then if we're just bezied and there's there's a bit of affective and relational it's like you let's completely the coat by the part of that

so that's like that this person like that it's five weeks that's five years that's not initiated and it's actually absolutely nothing so that's actually

you're just fashed and the other you're like yeah but I'm like you're like you and the fact that it was always it's always it's always

that we're always that's always not there at this moment but it's a We've got to arrive people for word for more that's

the last our last therapy of couple that's that that's so that's so that's in your

in your in your in your case in your in your in your fact it's that you're

not because it's not he said that I mean me said we're saying we're we're saying

we're we're completely and it's it's this sort of okay it's he's he's said

he's said and I never the joe I've never seen the, I've been not seen because he's attended not

he said he said inwee this, this attente that he had because for him because for him it was not the fun

like you say it's a every day, you say, he said, we're saying, we're saying it's like

a little and even when I'm coming to be over he was he had like he said like he said

that's like, yeah, it's that that's not that you're percy, you've seen you've seen

you've seen that's But, effectively, if you're in this attente, it's, it's ruined all the patent. And see, if we don't an example if you're done a example,

where there's a partner who's a person who has been more an affection, we'll end up next. And the other, he says, guard, there,

during a month, I'll end up to give the affection, and maybe in a month, I'll have the good. It's the same affair, you know, or I'll give

another example, you manage. Hey, guard, me, I'm less, I'm less, I'm less, I'm less, I'm less,

to make me to make sure, if I'm not for a month. It's the same affair, it's the same

to respond to a to a reason for a lot of different things. a different. It's a good thing. I'm not, you're a good thing. I'm not, you're not, it's a good thing. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm not. It's a Yeah, but it's that that's the more difficult. And then, you know, I've done

other examples of the menage and to go to go to look the be able to how we're like, how we're doing

that's the desire that we're not perfectly aligned and it and it's how I'm not the fact that I don't know

of all the question of my money. I'm not constantly in trying to respond to all these

things that. And when we're not, how is I agis? Is it in boudan, in chion-la, in haggant, in critiquing

the other, or I'm able to have a posture more mature where I'm name my deception, but it's me who has to get

the deception. Is that I going to look not to make the marriage, why the other will not do not do

when I'm more when I want to do because why the other want to do you not make

self-exual or will not be never over to it's just, there's there's quite

of all to analyze to understand why we're to arrive at this point that. And there's also his blockage

maybe in the of the infance also that also it can make a lot of to understand

what, is what, his dynamic he was in his time with his part of there,

maybe it's a bit of to make personal before even to be to be to be with

you. Yeah, but that's it's that he reg that to the point.

Yeah, but it's can't be yeah, but the affair Veto?

It's that again again to do menace, let's be it important to be to beotted to be

to be in the to do you to make a sex let's say you do the management of the cuisine because you know it

would be that would be pleasure to your job Is it can compare that a fallation forced

a fallation, no. No, but it will be still a same thing,

is that I'm do you do you do marriage by piti because I'm

having to because I can't just profoundly chied to do it's just not for

it's not for me the menage, I have no interest. It's not something that's important for me but I know that's important for the other, so I'll do it, because I want to have a good relation. And it's not in the tit for tat, like, I'm doing, so you know, it's actually

not the same thing, but to do you have an impression that's a period monumental of your time, and that's not important for you, because the other, really, that's very in very alias with this property that. It's a perpenter, while you have the contort, you have these little papillon of

excitation because you know when he will come to come in the coming, he will be happy, he was going to be a felonation for making pleasure to the other, is that I do just because I'm evite a conflict or because I just that's just that the other person? Or it's like, hey, I've really have really a attention for the other person.

And when you do it in the first option, it's like I do just for evite something, often I'll have to do it for three seven, and we'll come to the same dynamic. It's that that comes to do you do with three Yeah, but it's because fundamentally I've been to do this

things that that's not trying to be quite a lot, that's all the affection, that's not, that's the same thing, if I'm not question to do,

why I'm not questioner, why I'm not sure you not make pleasure to my partner? What he doesn't say, I do have to make pleasure,

and I do it give that deflation that, and I do have the mienage, and I'm doing, we have a difference, and is that this divergence that

was not so grand, With all the conflicts, it's amplified. Is that I could revene to be able to a mode

or a dynamic where it's perhaps not amplified? And that I had more maybe the menager before.

I'd maybe more of affection before. I was more to offer to the sexuality that I was

not full-primey but I was content to like, to offer a other. There's plenty of things

that you have, like, consider, to what is what I can't to,

and why, and is that me serve? I'm a benefit in the way of

to not do not respond to the other person. Because if I have not a benefit,

I'd think it's a whole of a lot of some kind of to be able to yeah.

I'm trying I'm an impression that it's a kind of that's physically blocky. In fact

it's that you're talking that you're being blocked it's it's created that's what it's said

at a moment it's that it's it's going to it's that's even And so, it's that's

it's been too in the, it's, like, it's like, it's a thing, it's a

last year, we're going to we're not, we're not at the time, but you know, you know,

a pattern of a little that's that's similar to a lot of, but, you know,

but, you know, I'm, that you're, that the person in the cycle, that can

make a change, but he's in the position to have to be the sex

by pity, but you don't all of other that this person that could do you like to do

that's that's a first is the first thing that's when I'm my advance is that my advance

are interesting is that is that I'm trying to understand also why the other reacty

that is a agent that is aiding face of that or I just like

retented the same things where I'm just like many different affairs

and then I'm frustrated that I'm trying to understand because it's

you're you know you're doing the example to switcher between the mare and the mant.

Okay, but in the of that you know, but maybe that I'm a much like I'm sexualized because I'm

being a major but I'm the best bad at the person, if you're not able to flippepe

that and we have not had been there, who are not accusatrice who were just in the exploration

and the reflection and how I'm maybe maybe I'm maybe can't help or how can

be able to be that, if you're in mode teamate or co-equipy versus just antagonist

who wants to respond to your business, it's that I'm going to that I'm more the good to go to

to go to to be more more than you but it's sure if you want, if you want that the situation change,

you have to have to have eventually an cooperation of the other person. But before to exige

the cooperation of the person, do don't your work on the time. You can't

say to say to the other, yeah, but you would be more open, you'd

to be that at more this, or more this, and you have nothing to on the

You say, when the other will change, I'm also I'm going to start to do you know, it's like to

say, we're not not quite, and the women, even the women, we, we're not not quite, it's like,

it would have to ask you to do some, you know, like, but, but, just there, there's a program

don't, don't, well, yeah, I've been doing the program brave, free,

dear, yeah, it's true, that's, that's you ponier. Well, yeah, all,

all, it's what you person in the program, it's really an affair step by step that's like to people are in this one of the

way, we're in in the program, even if we're in, we're in, that's a program in line, it's it's like, it's like, it's like,

you know, it's a, you know, to do it, for the two, because, you know, it's so, it's, it's, it's like,

the video of, like, you know, like, you, know, 15, 30 minutes per them, part them, we can't,

you can do it you can do it, you can't, but you can't that a minute, it will have to that's a matter, to have some

to get a questionnaires or what you can like, you know, you can't be, like, you're in a , there's a

question that's to make to think to the point of view of the other person, also, and then you can, if you're to have some to have a discussion

there's, so it's talking about the mind mapping that I've talked to the importance of the social,

it's all the time of all the irritant of the everyday. After that, there's all the aspect of

the sexuality, of is what our sex is good? Because we can be well, being

well, it's the sex, it's not good, he's routine, he's a , it's a , it's not

a bit of the thing that's a lot of, I'm doing it, but I'm not, it's all the whole time to do you, but I'm,

it's all right, the ingredients, the ingredients, it's the situation, the cuisine, the question, the question,

but I'm always in trying to bring my party Chinese or my gato, my brownies, it, it's it's the second

or third section that's really of the question, which are the endos, and the question, it's really how you rebate

or you repair certain of the damage that's been made, the degue that's been quite enclanched, we've talked about in a relaxante

in the podcast, but it's one of the activity, justly, or how we're how we're about how much we're doing

the intimacyity of the relationship of sexual. So it's what an equilibrium emotional that's such we can have

an more an more great intimacy. So, a more intimate, is I'm able to make

card on table, and say to say to my partner, it's just the consequences that will have not that I'm don't know

of the consequence but that I'm afraid to deal with so if I'm saying to say you're not you've got to do have a lot of sex

with you by example it's super very bad but I'm but I'm sure with tact and compassion

but I'm honest I'll be to say it's it's been perhaps it's been years or like it's a lot

if it's often if it's like it's five years it's been five years it's been five years that's it's been fun to hear

it's super devalorizing but if we change the situation you know the thing, we're not to say. You know,

all the moments that we've used just about the sex perpetuity and that's not, that I've made up because you

would just me use like like a little bit of an dote ambulant, etc.

It's like, but how is that with tact and to make the collaboration of the other

person, it's exactly in fact, what the program us amends to do. To revenue to the fallation,

that, uh, that's, because is there would be a way there would, he could

us would be, I'm more that you do say, I'm going to do you do, it's sure that I

do your poche to make a faireration, it's not the way of the way that you're, I'm not,

the way that you do make the more the way, it's I'm more, so, we're going,

to be prefer it I'd prefer it It's sure that it's not easy but I'm

saying I'm trying to say, I'm already I've done a comment but he's he's just in a comment

but he's he said me, tell us by the person, he said it's because

Kremt you'd remember, I'm I'm not to say, I'm not, I'm doing

that, and he he, what you he, he said, he was like, he said

he was like, he did, hey, Lizand in the podcast, she said that she said that'd And then try to,

and then I said like, ah, but like, you know, like, it's not, no, it's not recent.

A new story that's happened. Be, but I'm going to, but guard, what you came to say, you know, that's,

you know, that's not, that's just, you know, that's just, you're able to say, but someone,

for example, who will not be able to be able to hear, she, she'll have to have, she'd say,

you'd like your name, You know, like your You know, I'd like That's all right I'd like to That's always That's always

In a minute I made He said, I said, I'm gonna I'm gonna cry She'd like, I'm gonna say, I'm gonna say

I'm gonna say, but like, it's all about about to you, but you That's the Cuss, it's the

conclusion of this podcast But I'm back to you But, Louis, I suce even my chum

But, but it's sure that's with some you'd have to what you prefer like

in this it's sure that's more than just just say, I like I'm not that, and then

to have to have to be able to think you don't know, how I'm sorry, how I'm sorry, I don't know, I'm not,

I'm sure that you know, there's a form of a way to do that, you know, it's a form of you know, I'm not coming

you're not coming you're having that. And perhaps maybe that and for a reason some I'm not that,

and at the place to be under personal and to be blessed in some ego, I can see it's not

it's not it's not fun to hear, but I have the opportunity to do something of the way of what I'm doing I'm like, I'm like,

I'm saying a little bit of a bit currie, but me lamented on my ego or I can do look, we'll make my ego to be on the motor reconforted

there's on. I'll have all the possibility that's offer to make my relationship. But it's sure that you're like

you're really in poche, I'm really it's sure that the message is ultra-desagreable and that and that the intention

not to amelioring the sexuality, and that I'm just condescending or mechance or like in the middle of a filation I'll pass on a commenter poche it's sure that you embark not the other of your side

so it's not in the it's not in the fashion I'll say but it's all right it's all the emotion that I'm saying I'm having to mind mapping I've been too it's what I'm ming

like I'm malleaping like intention when you're in trying to me say that yeah it's can't that I'm malinterpreted your intention

it's possible that it will be about about my proper enjeue maybe that I'm super calm I wanted to to search your collaboration, but you're

so totally centered on your insecurities that you will do that, and not by the other, what's going to be on the message, is, okay, but I can't, I can't say, I'm just sub-ed. And it's that also, by rapport to, it's not and the other, it's like, ah, come on, oh, yeah, come, you know,

and then, you're like, and then, it's like, you've got to remit your limit, so. When you sense that the other is not receptive to the things, it's that they limit the intimacy. And then we start to have

plenty of reg implicit of what can say and then I'm not say. If I know I'm a little

I'm a little that I'm not to think that's attractive. I'd say not that I'm not going to the pornography.

If I think the masturbation, it's something like that is like, that's a badgerger

and he doesn't, but I'm not when I would have to be all to be so to be

so to make, so that's we're making the same the possibility to explore the new affairs

in her sexuality. The question, how how... How can't the cover the remedy? How can't do you?

Well, it's to talk that exists. Yeah. It's just to say, I'd like to what, but I'm hesitant

to talk about because that I'm that I think you react this to a certain way,

and that we can't be able to and it and that will be to finder in or that

you want to get to sometimes it sometimes it's like you feel like you you're like you

be in presence of your your bloodsure so I'm just not to talk to be but you know that and be able to be able to tolerate

also a certain discomfort of these discussions to be there's not always the light of the times it's really poche to be

intimate because it's not made because it's known some of the things that we don't know but that when we don't

say this things that we're going to get in the little little bit the traditional you stay you

you're just in your rest in your form of but that's it's the abl hermetic. If you're not from the bubble

hermetic, then what's that's the exterior, it's a lot of you know, if you're doing the same

but you're doing with tact and intelligence emotional, or maturity emotional. We can have to have an

intelligence, but not of maturity. Is there a lot of time, you know, we're in the

personal, let's do you have you some like, hey, it'd be doing it, you know,

you've had had you had done after the podcast? No. No. No. Hey,

And, me, in my day, I'd say, it's like, it's simple. You know, it's fun. But, okay, it's all. But it's, it's really a lot of maturity sexual. And, you know, I'll be put it in the emphasis on there on. It's easy to be it. Met an application, touch, what I do in this moment, it's a mountain.

Because it's just a job in these reactions rapid, automatic, reflexes that are developed. It's our insecurities, it, it's our anxieties. It's like, it's easy, like, to say, here, well, yeah, he will say to your chum or at your blonde X, Y, Z,

which is not the fun in the sexuality, look, I'll I'm trying to tell you have tried to say to your chum to sex parpitiate. It's an perfect

example, it's like, hey, we're desks, I'm going to you, I want to, you'll invite you, you're going to get with,

the people, people don't know to say, like, oh, well, I can just say that, and,

yeah, it's super simple, no, it's really be a processus that's not a good, but what you

on voh, you don't this motivation that you have to you have to find a sense and it's often sure that

people are in the people are we're doing we're doing it but it's not like that's not like that's happening,

finally your partner is ultra reactive, you're super posed, you've said all the what's the

other has been to be the same, and there's all that's it's been that's not the first

not necessarily the last not the first will be very disagreeable but that after

There's many discussions, we record the affairs, we change certain affairs, it's like this changement that's a step in an step. If I said, let's say, if, let's say, I'd redone, my, my,

my job, oh, I'd like, I'll probably that's a lot of piteer, probably that reaction will not be so, okay, well, you know, he's probably, in the case, it's not

in the same reaction, so, yeah, yeah, that's true, yeah, and it's that, it's that, you're that, you're, that's, you're in maturity,

finally, you're, so, the, plus you're maturity, more you get a laise

with the example that I'm doing so much the first time you know, you're the first you're not the first time,

you're doing the you're doing this, you make a flation, a culelegris, you search despererably the clitoris

mysterious when you're during your adolescence like you don't know, you're not not bad,

but with the time you try a little confidence and it's develop and but in time as

adult we can't never so to feel to but if you have evolved

in your sexuality as a sexuality as at the exterior and to have the discussion

you are to be able to get vulnerable to get to get to the

end of the thing to I'm really from a kind of of an

kind of to to get my couple differently because

I I'm I'm I'm in direction of the

term and I see that just change my

mindset in part because you I mean, I tend to be a person who has more to blame the person

who's more because it's easy to have the real role a bit of the person like, ah, ha, ha, and the person that's the person who has

a person who can't be able to and an order to control, you know, that's so. So, you know,

I, I have the impression that just, in fact, something of major that I return to our conversation,

is that, I'm not to say, I don't, that I'm going to go to change the fact

that I go to get to continue to continue to to be over but just accept it

it's not some different and to see differently it's a great a big a big

a big a big trick for me what I what I'm to say to be

to reinforce when you do you do when you have actually it can

be an invitation to have a moment of a moment of

than to have been to sexual. If we start by the invitation to be seduier, we're going to be in the

sexuality. But if your advances are always an initiation to the sexuality, you'll have more regularly

because if I'm not there, it's going to be there, it's going to it's going to be in five minutes. So,

the part of the partner, it's an invitation to seduire more than to start the beginning. It's to

have to the pleasure there also. because often I'm saying, oh, my excuse me, complicated,

we're doing it, you know, turn and then. No, no, it's not me, turn and it, it's not, it's not,

it's not the libidone, what we're in some what we're having, we're doing, we're all, we're all,

we're all, we're all, we're, I don't, I don't know, to turn and on what you don't,

if we're not any interaction in this sense that. What you, you're just horny, what I'm,

what I'm, it's just a desire sexual relational, relational. So, it's not to turny on the person who has more of desire. It's to mutually be able to be able to

be one of the other for that we're at same level of desire sexual relational. And that, it's not not just just to understand that, me also, to

comprehend my apartment, it's just to be that, it's, like, you say, we're like, we're like, we're like, with a siouxs, without a gossip, to understand

that in the phone, maybe there's just these little caline, and that's the way of the fact of the affection that's not quite not quite quite

not quite quite I'm a last question, it's a good question, okay? Because it's a good question.

And on Patreon, the gang, I'll have to say, it's like, my question is, my question,

is, I'm asking a question of a marble in all due in all respect. You've got to mind-map

his question will be poche. Look, Patria, you'll go to go, to the Patreon and I'll ask my question here and you

will have the answer on the question. Here's the question. If I offer a filation because

we're saying because we're in the tor. Is it offering to sex per pitty?

The response on Patreon. Thank you. Thank you.