Sexe Oral - Survivre à l'infidélité avec la sexologue Anne-Sophie Hollender - pt. 2

Episode Date: March 20, 2025

Les propos exprimés dans ce podcast relèvent d’expériences et d’opinions personnelles dans un but de divertissement et ne substituent pas les conseils d’un.e sexologue ou autre professionnel de la santé. Cette semaine sur le podcast, on reçoit pour la 2e fois la sexologue Anne-Sophie Hollender pour la suite du podcast où on parle d'infidélité.  Plus d'information sur Anne-Sophie Hollender : https://www.sexologueplateau.com/  Le podcast est présenté par Éros et Compagnie Utiliser le code promo : SexeOral pour 15% de rabais https://www.erosetcompagnie.com/ Les jouets dont les filles parlent: https://www.erosetcompagnie.com/page/podcast  Le podcast est présenté par Oxio. Pour plus d'informations: https://oxio.ca/ Code promo pour essayer Oxio gratuitement pendant un mois: SEXEORAL ---- Pour collaborations: [e-mail] Pour toutes questions: [e-mail] Pour suivre les filles sur Patreon: https://www.patreon.com/sexeoralpodcast Pour contacter les filles directement, écrivez-nous sur Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sexeoral.podcast/

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Bye! If you don't want to become a writer, you just want to buy a deal, you can too. Bye bye! A production of the SF Studio. Today, we're doing part 2 with Anne-Sophie, who is a sexologist, who comes to answer. There are people who wrote us testimonies, who asked us questions about infidelity, a subject that is very, very sensitive, but which must be addressed. It has caused a lot of reactions within this studio, so I would say that we haven't addressed a lot of questions we had because we don't shut our mouths.

But we hope you will still appreciate it and then, in fact, it's sure. Well, yes, we liked it because we don't talk anymore. That's it, I love it! Hey, good podcast, like us in the comments. Like us, we need love right now. Sometimes we say it, sometimes every year we make a little lascar. Oh, like us, under the comments. Thank you. Today's podcast is presented by Oxxio, your favorite internet independent service, because

you discovered it here and since then, that's what's been installed at your place. Admit it. Admit it! Admit it! Admit it, Corlique. Apart from that, we had something else to say, more importantly. Auction, if you didn't know already, it's a service where there is no price increase. The base price is the one that will remain throughout your beautiful collaboration. It's stable, it's reliable, there is an exceptional speed, the only one we can tolerate in 2025.

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Yes. So the code is sexoral on auction.ca. Thank you, auction. Hello again, Anne-Sophie. Hello again, Lisanne. Hello. Thank you both for being here. Okay, it's your podcast. Thank you both for coming today. I'm very happy to be here. No, no, I'm really happy. We are really happy to have you. We are here for part two, where we have questions, we have little questions that people have written and they would like to have your advice, your answers. I know it's case by case and you really have to with what is written, if you can, help them as best as you can. It would be really cool.

And... Well, how are you doing since we met? I'm fine. A little less stressed than last time. It's positive. I can't wait to answer with you. In the heart's message. Are there things we talked about in the last podcast that you thought about?

I don't know, things you'd like to say about our last recording. I think I'll be able to place it through the questions. Cool. Like the first question you said you could place your word. Exactly. You are the first. Yes, let's get started.

Let's go. Do you notice, in the context of your work, that there is always someone more unfaithful in the couple, someone who seems to dislike the other and who would tend to go see elsewhere. I imagine it must be difficult in a couple to have two people who love each other and are on the same wavelength at 100%.

Well, there are so many elements in this same question. There may be things that will repeat themselves. I will perhaps make some twists with the first episode, but at the same time, the essential and redundant is when you say, is there always someone more unfaithful in the couple? It's hard to say because there's someone who's unfaithful, then when they come to see you, often, anyway, I see in the cabinet, it's like there's not necessarily a recidivism, it's like they did it, then there we work from that. But I wondered when the person wrote that,

if she wondered if it's possible to know if there is a tendency for men to be unfaithful or for women. It's not possible to know what the tendency is, because we know that the consequences are not the same for men as for women. We are in a patriarchal society, and it's written. I don't remember if I said it last time, but just when we ask

the question for partners, men will increase the number and women will decrease the number because we are not seen in the same way. So just for that, there is no one who can really say it. And then it's like, we can still position ourselves by saying it has always been easier for men at the level of inf saying, it has always been easier for men in terms of infidelity, it has always been more accepted in society. We just look at history. With the 5 to 7, that's where I wanted to bounce back.

In the symbolic, infidelity is everywhere. The 5 to 7, it's not just like, oh, the bar, he put less than 50% on beer on Thursday between 5 and 7. No, you know, the 5 to 7, if we look at it historically, it comes from France. And then it was made in the 19th and 20th century, and in fact it kept you for a while, or when you were getting out of work,

it was made for extra-conjugated relationships. So if you want, it was like accepting that the man, with his mistress, was having a good time, from 5 to 7, and it was really accepted in society. That's the story of the 5 to 7, that's why. Is that a year? I can't say the year, but it's... Wait, I don't know if I'm wrong, 19th, 20th century.

Can you imagine that it was accepted at that time that the woman is also her lover? Of course not. of course not. Of course not. Is that for guys? Well, yes. So maybe... It's surprising. But maybe, you know, there were...

Maybe there are some encartades at that level there, because it was a lot of bourgeoisie anyway. I think they had access to that. But it was mainly, in any case, more accepted for men, obviously. I know the ass. We're getting out... We really thought that women too could be accepted. Being sarcastic, everyone is sarcastic. Yes, a lot.

We are not the same age. Things have evolved, etc. But as I said, if you look at history, it's always interesting. If you just look at facts, you can see that there are trends where it has been more accepted for men than for women. It's more and more annoying, all that. It's like bringing me back to today, that all that comes back, it's crazy, it's even more annoying, and I have even more... You know, it looks like in my head, it was, ah, it was in time, it was before.

And then, seeing a lot of things that come back today to the surface, it makes in time. It was before. And then, seeing so many things that are coming back today, it's like, oh my God, I'm concerned. It's not in time. It can come back anytime. It's crazy. Well, we're not safe. It's just when you look at it, you question the right to abortion for women. I have a little parenthesis, but again, there are things that come back, and then we say, I thought it was Haki, but it's not. If it was a man who gave birth, we wouldn't even talk about it.

A little right to abortion, a problem with him. We would be in another place where contraception means, etc. I mean, it's not for nothing that we... It's finally the pill of contraception for men that hasn't come out. Too many consequences, too many symptoms, but we, there's no problem. We continue. We continue to prescribe ourselves all that. It's true. Why the hell, there's nothing? The little horoscope, a little pill? It makes me want to cry with rage. It's crazy how it affects me right now. I find this... ...hush.

Oh yeah. And it's not even a question of taking a position, it's the facts. It's really factual, what we're telling, so it's not to say... It's that there are people who are in denial of that or who... Who... Oh... Well, who minimize dangers. That's more of it.

Maybe there are people who have discourses like that, and who are not dangerous, but it's discourses, and it's positions that make it very dangerous for a lot of lives. Yeah, that's why it's important to fight and to mobilize, and to make people hear your voice. But that's it, so we see it. But then, is it really more men or women who are unfaithful? We will never know. But there are people who are unfaithful, and we are unfaithful for a reason, it doesn't fall from the sky.

That's a little bit it. Do you think there are more cases where it's women who have been unfaithful and who will go to consult you. Let's say there's a couple, the woman is unfaithful and then he says, okay, well, okay, look, we can go and consult and all that. Or you see more of his contrasts and that his boyfriend was unfaithful and that she wants to go. Is that what you see in your office? I don't see that it's one or more. I'm thinking about it quickly.

I'm always pleasantly surprised when both of them say that we have to do something and we're going to consult them, whether it's the man or the woman. In those who call, there's no one who resists. Those who resist don't come to the session. But when they consult, when they want to have a relationship, they are invested and I can see that. And you see, in the question,

I also find it interesting, there is someone who seems to less like the other and who would have more tendency to see others. It allows to deconstruct a little, it's not because I'm going to see elsewhere that I don't like you or that I like you less. It doesn't necessarily mean that. There are a lot of people who will go see others,

but they are in love with their partner but they are in love with their partner, they are in love with their partner, no matter what. And then there are those who will not go see elsewhere, but who are not invested in their relationship. Who, yes, are not transgressing this line, but they are not trying to save something or to talk. They can be in contempt, they can be in ignorance.

I'm just on autopilot and I continue my life and I don't move the boat. They do nothing but at the same time they do something because they don't position themselves. They don't feed the couple anymore. And so that's why it's good to really say that the person who cheated doesn't mean that it's the person who stopped loving. Maybe the person who stopped loving is the person who didn't cheat. When do you... Are there people who come to see you because they have thoughts? So before acting, they come to see you and say, hey, I have a lot of thoughts, I have a lot of temptations. And you succeed if the person really likes that, or her partner...

I have in mind a couple where they came and it didn't go in their relationship, in their communication, in their intimacy. And then at some point, you have one of the two people who says, but I've already thought about cheating, but I don't do it, say, yeah, it's powerful. And then to say, hey, I'm not doing well, I'm suffering, it's not going well. I think I'm wrong, but I don't want to do it because compared to my principles, compared to my values, I don't want to cross the line. But I can tell you that I think about it. And there are a lot of people. And then I notice that. I think of women who tell me, you think it's a fantasy with a celebrity,

and then you feel guilty about having that fantasy. I see that a little less in men. In those I've seen, it's less pronounced, but I think women can bear a kind of guilt, while it's something that happens in our heads, that can be in the erotic imagination. But once again, we've been educated, raised in a certain way where it's not allowed. And that's one of the realities, it's things that exist.

I see you... We're angry today. We're angry today. Because we're like... I have trouble finding words. It seems like it's visceral, the reaction I want to have. I want to scream or say things like... At the moment, people who scream, you don't want to listen to them speak.

That's a bit it. I just want to scream and get angry. So my message wouldn't work. Probably not. So I'm quiet right now, but I feel a lot of anger. But there are a lot of things happening right now in the news too that make Yassa active. But it's a reality anyway, you know, compared to men and women, we can't hide the difference. And then...

Men... We need to talk about it. It's not to blame one or to take a little weight off the other. But it's still like that. As I said, if we just fight over historical facts, we can see it. There are things that are involved. After, well, today we're still in a society. We tend, as women, to make the choices we want to make.

I mean, it doesn't mean that women cheat less. I think that women should cheat as much as men. But there is a situation, we have this thing that we grew up in, this patriarchal society that throws a little the basics. Yeah, and you're just for... I imagine it must be difficult in a couple to have two people who love each other and who are on the same wavelength at 100%. It's not possible to be on the same wavelength at 100%. I may be able to be on it for aary, but I don't see, knowing that we are two different beings, differentiated, that we arrive with our cultural baggage, with our experiences, with our experience, how can we be all the time on the same wavelength? It's not possible. Even if I speak as a woman, I don't know, let's imagine, I don't know, I experienced

an abortion, I had hormonal changes, or you have your guy who loses his job, who lives in stress, whatever, you can never be 100% on the same wavelength. And that's like in life, but it's also in sexuality. We evolve, our sexuality evolves with us, our values evolve, our principles. What we said to ourselves when we were 18, we're not going to think the same thing when we're 40, so we're never really on the same wavelength. It doesn't prevent us from not being able to evolve together.

But it's normal for it to fluctuate. Because sometimes there are some who come and say, but I don't understand, I have less desire. My chum always has more. There is no big surprise compared to that. We are human beings and then that's part of life. There's something to normalize in there. Do you see, well, not that you necessarily see, but

let's say people who make mistakes and then they use it to have more power over the other. Regarding to like, okay, I forgive you, let's say, I give you an example, a man is wronged, okay. This man after that, he becomes, well, okay, I forgive you, his beautiful darling, come home. But after that, it becomes like, she can't go out anymore, or you can't... And all the things, so in the end, it becomes like... More harmful. Like you get used to it, and after that...

Do you see it often? Is it something frequent? I don't see it often, but clearly, it's things that exist. Clearly, where the victim finally turns into a executioner. I was a victim of infidelity, I take back a little bit of power, then I'm going to ask you to stop, I don't know, to stop going out, to cut contact with your exes, not to talk to the opposite sex, you have to limit the coffee breaks. I mean, it exists, and that's called conjugal violence.

You know, there's the expression, but trust does not exclude control. It is a sentence from someone who is trying to have power over the other. How does that, trust does not mean that we exclude control. It's something, I find it strong and powerful. How can you say that to someone? What do you want to control? I can understand that there is betrayal, that there is pain, that it hurts, and that we may want to have a kind of security, but you can't have an impasse on the life of the other.

We are beings who have a freedom, and we must continue to be free and do what we want. Absolutely. Number two. The most crazy or extreme situation you have seen in your office or in your personal life in terms of infidelity? What comes to mind is people who need to take revenge. It takes up a little bit of what you were saying, but revenge is something that I find quite sad. People who say, you hurt me, eye for eye, tooth for tooth,

I want you to suffer as much as I suffered. And I see that. And I think we're losing something, especially when you want to save your partner, you don't want to be in there, you want to work on a justice, a reparative, but you're in something punitive.

You want to take revenge, and some people find ways to take revenge. We talk about social networks, but we talk about controlling when you go out, with who you talk to. You have the right to do that, well, I will do it too. Oh, I may have wronged you, but you won't know it, but you will stay with the doubt that maybe I was wrong. There are a lot of stories and it seems to me that's what's coming for me. But maybe you have more... ...fart stories? One of them?

Not that I'm... ...frozen. You can say you have another one. I have a friend, I called her, I asked if I could tell her. By the way, I won't name her name, but... She told me she had a lover. And she, this person, is super popular on social media. Really.

She gave her the right to say that. Yes, yes, yes. And... Yeah. She... No, I'm just saying, it's crazy. It's crazy. It's crazy. His little lover went on a trip for a bachelorette party with his friend, his mother. Anyway, they went on a trip. Far away. I don't know where it is, but it's really far away. And he went to a party and they met two girls.

The future married and her job. And the girls were happy about it. And they said, do you want to have a party like that? Like, three to three. And they said, okay, we're in. And then, at some point... But they're in a relationship. Well, one is going to get married and the other is with someone.

Yes! That's interesting. It's like, hey, that famous thing, you know, the bachelorette party, that you can give... Bachelorette party? Bachelorette party? For boys. For the bachelorette party. That you can see it, yes, in a boy's way, you know, that it was known,

that you can't get married, you dress once, it's that evening that you can do what, and then you propose when you not married, you're only once, it's this evening that you can do something about. And then you propose when you're married, you know, that kind of little thought that was quite seen a lot the other time. So anyway, the two girls are like, ok, we're in, there, there. Finally, there is one who tells this to one of her friends and she's like, hey! And then she shows the guy's picture and she says, hey, I think it's like the chum to this girl. But what's crazy is that they're in Greece.

Wow, wow, wow. It's a thing in Spain, I don't know what it is. Portugal, one of the three. Yeah. So it's someone over there who recognized the chum of the girl in Quebec. So it's a crazy coincidence. You know, what are the chances? He clearly says, no, I'm there, impossible.

So the girl, she screams at the person. She says, hey, I just want to tell you, like, your boy, he was trying to make a trip with one of my friends, you know, and all that. With his other chum. So finally, she made an incredible blow to the hood. She said, we can call each other, each other on FaceTime and all that. So she said, hey, are you in the mood to do something? I would really like to know what you're doing.

Pretend you're going. So they arranged something with the girls. She said, pretend you're going. Pretend you're in the mood, that the guys want to invite them. And I want you to film me when they knock on your door. Pretend... And that's exactly what happened. The guys arrived the next day. When they hit you, pretend like... That's exactly what happened.

The guys arrived the next day. The girls left the house. They filmed the guys hitting each other. And they sent it to the guy. The person sent it to her uncle. She said, you had a nice visit today. And then, well, that's it. So it's really...

She did a little... But it's crazy because you say crime in another country, even in another country, everything ends with that. And the worst thing about it is that the guy, let's say, he had found a reason to be like a kid with her because he knew he couldn't be on his phone that night because he was going to see two girls. So he said, I don't like that when you talk to me about that thing, whatever. He took a door out to pretend like was angry, to be forgiven later. To close his phone and go do his stuff. Oh yes, he said he found it flat. Because she talked about something about trust and she was like...

Oh yeah, I find it flat that you don't trust. And he said, I really find it flat, la la la la la la. Because he had asked questions about it. Anyway, so in the end, it was useful, but it's... It's scary. It's scary. That little story, you know, a killer so close, well, that's it. I imagine you go to Europe and you get caught in Quebec.

It's still pretty magical. Hey, it's the power girl gang! Hey, that's it, that's it. You have to say, anywhere you go, it's possible that we trace you. And what I still understand is that there was no agreement in the couple saying, well, bury my boy, I'm waiting for you to do your life there, and that's right for me. There was no such discussion there saying, listen, do your life,

what's happening in Vegas, stay in Vegas. It wasn't like that. There was lies, I had a lot of steps that were crossed. And it was learned. Do you have another one? Oh, that too, it puts me in a mess, but... For real, I can't tell other people's stories.

But recently, I have a friend of mine who got cheated on. The guy wasn't going to tell her. And it's the ex. The guy slept with his ex. And his ex texted him, Hey, we slept together today. The guy was going to go back to her, to his girlfriend, pretend nothing happened.

So she confronted him and she didn't have a choice. It's crazy, man. It's a common story. It happened to her, man. It hurts. It hurts, that kind of thing. But to what extent do you have to be... And you know, I can say that in terms of cause, because I was unfaithful to several times in my life. Well, I was wrong too. If it was perhaps in reaction to that, I would not excuse my behavior.

I could have been wrong and not do what I did afterwards. But it's really an egoist move. And you don't think at all about the repercussions of what it can have on someone else. It can leave traces for a very long time. It's painful, it's painful, it's... You know, fucking talk to yourself. Tell him, tell him the address. Tell him, I realize that I want to go see elsewhere. You'll talk about it, you'll see what's going on. But to be afraid of losing someone, and not to make the move, to open up, it's just losing trust in the person.

It's like, I don't know, I find it very sad. But people don't talk to each other. You know, we were talking about communication, you know, is there like things that we can advise people? We talk a little bit about communication everywhere, but if we talk about it, it's because there's something in there. People don't open up discussions, they don't discuss enough. And then, you know, when you look,

there are communities like the community of diversity. It seems to me that they open up the discussion a lot more. Because it's the same, there's a whole story that comes with that. But it's demonstrated in studies, or even when you listen to podcasts from people who testify, they will much more easily say, hey, what happens if there's someone I like? They will approach the subject,

and I don't know why, in heterosexual couples, it's more difficult to do it. Is it... I don't know why, I guess... Is it to say, I don't know why, I guess that... Is it to say, you know, to say, I'm lying, not to close this, look, if you're wrong, I'm sure it's over, like this sentence, it shouldn't exist, like, in the case for... Because then it's like, it avoids it, it blocks the kind of discourse, you know,

the person, she knows she can't talk about it, she has desires, because there, she knows discourse, you know, the person, she knows that she can't speak to him because she has desires, because she knows that, you know, I don't know how we could... What are the phrases to avoid to open communication? I would say, you know, I wouldn't start by saying, here's what I don't want. I would already ask the person, what is fidelity to you? How do you define it in a relationship? You want to know what the other's inner world is. For you, what is it? Yes, we are together. And what are the borders? In which sand square are we able to play you and me?

You want to take a little bit of the pulse, to know what's going on for you. And then you too, with authenticity, you can say, listen, I don't know, being just with you is something that interests me but I still like flirting. There are people, we see, they have a monogamous tendency but that doesn't mean that I have a monogamous tendency so I like to be serious in my relationship, just with you

but I like flirting, maybe in sexual debates I like to think of my ex maybe yes, I like to look at porn sexual debates, I like thinking about my ex. Maybe, yes, I like looking at the door and they'll talk about it. Today's podcast is presented by Oxxio, your favorite internet independent service, because you discovered it here and since then, that's what's been installed at your place. Admit it. Admit it! Admit it, Corlée. Apart from that, we had something else to say, more importantly. Oxio, if you didn't know already, it's a service where there's no price increase.

The base price is the one that will stay throughout your beautiful collaboration. It's stable, it's reliable, there's an exceptional speed, the only one we can tolerate in 2025. And it's reliable. Do you connect it? Do you never disconnect it again? You also have an online service, okay? So you can text them when you have nothing to do in a day. You have a little question on the internet.

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Are there things that are better not to be said? Yeah, like if you think about your ex while he's sleeping with me, I don't think it's necessary that I know. Yeah, well, that depends on the person who you are. But it's true that it's not everyone who is able to receive it. Yeah, I'd rather not know. Because it's just in your head. It's not like you're cheating on me.

No. It's in your head. But that doesn't mean, if you talk about it, that the person is always referring to his ex, but maybe sometimes it can happen to him, or sometimes it can happen to you too, but it's true that you see, am I able to say it, am I able to open the conversation? That's not given to everyone. I have the impression that this discussion would lead nowhere. There are discussions that are really necessary, but the one like, I don't like what you think, you know, it's literally not something you can control.

Well, yeah. So, is it better to know it? Neither. So you're going to choose the information you want to discuss with the other, you're going to choose, okay? Well, in the most concrete sense, because we're not our thoughts, you know. I literally already, I already imagined what it would be like if I threw my child and I was like Oh my God! And it's not me who thinks about throwing my child, it's the kind of inclusive thoughts

that pop. It has nothing to do with reality. In any case. But I agree with you, there may not be everything that needs to be said. We also have the right to have our garden in secret. On the other hand, they shouldn't put a veil in front of their eyes, saying, well, what I want is this, this, this, and we're going to follow these rigid rules. Because sometimes we say, I have my little life, well done, everything is said,

we follow this thing, this thing, this thing, and then finally, there is a transgression, but we could have talked about it, we don't need to have a perfect life. We might have been in the flirt. We might have been able to renegotiate our sexuality at some point. Renegotiate what we want to live in our relationship. It's recurrent thoughts, not just things that you think about and you sit down and you really... you know, you consider acting.

No. There are things that we will keep for ourselves, and then there are things that we will pass on to others. It's like, we're going to have sexual fantasies that we want to realize, and then there are sexual fantasies that we don't want to realize. It's a little bit the same idea.

But you're right, we don't have to say everything, but on the other hand, there are things where it might be interesting to talk to each other. It might be interesting to talk to each other might be interesting to talk about, to know, if you go to a boy's funeral, I don't want you to go see elsewhere because it's your friend's last night, and that's going to be the nub. It's important that you can tell the other,

I agree with that, and I don't agree with that. And you? Because if the other says, well, listen, that's not how I see things, you're going to have all the cards in your hand to say, well I'm not interested in what you're proposing as a relationship. You're going to be able to say bye, or you're going to say, well listen, we're going to discuss it again, or whatever,

but you want to know what's going on. Sometimes it's also difficult because talking about it before, you never know what the cost of the event is, or whatever, know what's going to happen. Sometimes you're good at saying, I'm going to Bachelorette, and I think, no, no, nothing's going to happen. And then you go to the bar, you go to the alcohol, we'll see.

The discussion before, it's very difficult to know what you want to do. It comes back to the idea that there is never any guarantee of anything. Because it's true that we have the beauty to have discussions, we have the beauty to say to ourselves, I open the relationship, I'm in a polyamorous relationship. There is no rempart that will tell you, hey, thanks to this discussion, thanks to this model, to this relationship scheme, it will put us at the brink of all infidelity or all over the place.

It's not possible. There are only two things that are guaranteed in life, the fact that you pay taxes and then you're going to die. It's the only two things. We'll maybe change the taxes one day. One day, and we won't have any more. One day. But there's really no guarantee apart from those two things.

It's just that if, let's say, you have the talk before you go on a trip. Let's say you go to Vegas, we talk about it. I said to myself, I'd like you not to be wrong. When you're in Vegas, you're in what mood? You say, no, nya-nya-nya. But then, you won't be able to tell me afterwards... We didn't talk about it. At least, we had accused the fact.

Yeah, yeah. You'll have done your part, I understand. You'll be responsible at that moment, saying, I had a discussion with you, we were adults, we talked about it. The person does what she wants in Las Vegas, and then finally you end up taking it, okay? And then we come to another conversation.

We had this discussion, you agreed, we thought the same way, and yet you transgressed. What happened? It's an event that deserves to be celebrated. It's not clear to everyone. It's a bachelor and a red. It seems like there is this little phrase that I have heard a it a lot in the Mélisens, a bad chélebert, on a Loire, or like, it's correct. It's more well-known, so it's true that having the discussion, knowing what your limits are,

and clearly, my limits aren't the same as those of Louis. You can touch balls, you can eat balls, but when you don't have them, because you don't have a lot at home, so you'll be like... There are things you're going to put too clearly. They could eat balls of... Yes, balls. But I don't know, I do a dance and she puts her hands in front of it.

Okay. But she doesn't do the French pop and she doesn't do the I do this. That's gross. It's a bit like a level name. But the little ones, no! a bit of a pain. You know, it's a bit of a long-term thing. But the little ones, no? But you told him that? No, I didn't tell him. Louis, you know now?

No! But no, but by saying... I saw you making stories about your trip to Miami. He gives a hug that a girl, like a girl, a girl with a body. And he puts a shooter in her mouth and he has to go get it in his mouth. I had a lot of comments like, Ah, so you let him do that.

I said, yes, it's crazy, perfect, I'm happy. No, maybe I don't have the same level as... I think my chum, I know him. I know who he is, I know him. But it's hot. Yes, but it's not hot, to be honest. If you... it triggers you. It triggers me.

If you're scared and you don't like it, then don't do it. It depends all the time on relationships, on the people you're with, on the moment of the relationship. I've already been in a relationship, it wouldn't have bothered me. You ask me right now, I'm like...

Well, clearly, we don't... You know, Louis, he's 100% blonde. It's me who says, well, yes, it's like... It's not him who's like, hey, I could go and get a shoot in the movie, like, the hot girl. And Louis never makes a call, he never says, hey, the hot girl, you know. He never does that to me, it's me who's like, hey, do you think he's always like that to me? And he's like, hey, when are you going to do it? I'm like, well, yes. And do you want to do that? He's like, no, not really. Well, you want to do that? I'm like, yes, he's going to do it.

So it looks like he really has that... I don't know. It's like more... And I know that afterwards he was happy. He was like, well... I love you too, this lightness. Yes, lightness, I like the word, you, Tamine, this lightness. Yes, lightness, I like the word. But the ones in front of you, Louis, if you ever listen to the podcast, it's not... It's really more of a joke, but if it happens, OK, but like... In Vlandis, I'm not necessarily looking for that, you know. In Vlandis, if it goes through there, the balls go through there, they touch.

OK. We're back to the third question. Yeah, that's it. It's been 40 minutes since we've had... We should have talked about Louis. Yeah, that's it. We've been talking about Louis for 40 minutes. We were just talking about Louis. Yes, that's it. Thank you. We had 12 questions. We read two.

Oh wow. But it's because at the beginning we were really angry. So it came out a little. I was the other woman in a situation. I had a one night with a guy that I found really interesting. So I stacked his social media the next day to see that he was in a serious relationship for several years. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting.

And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting. And I saw clear evidence that he was in a serious relationship with a guy that I thought was really interesting So I stalked his social media the next day to see that he was in a serious relationship

for several years. And I saw clear evidence that shows that he is still in a relationship with this girl. I'm really hashtag girl power and I've always been in the girl's clan in these situations. So I really want to write to the girl. Should I? Yes! Ha ha!

What's your answer to that? We say yes. It's funny, as'est quoi ta réponse à ça? Nous c'est oui. C'est marrant comme on a chacun notre façon de réagir. C'est comme oui. Puis moi quand j'ai lu la vignette, je me suis dit, « Hein, c'est drôle. Elle pense à écrire à la fille. Elle pense pas à écrire au gars en premier. »

Ah, mais ça s'appelle un jour. Il va dire « Excuse-moi, je me suis trompée » ou genre « de contact ». « Je me suis trompée de contact ». like, contact. I made a mistake of contact. The guy will find an excuse, he'll be like, fuck it, it's the girl, we have to protect the guy, nothing to do with her. But it seems like there are several things there, you see, because in fact, what she's telling you, she's telling you, okay, I was interested in a guy, I slept with him, then we got to the point of exchanging our social networks. And now I see that you have someone. So you didn't tell me, you didn't give me that information.

So it's about values, finally, of the one who sent the message, saying, but maybe if I had known that you were with someone, I wouldn't have slept with you, even for a one night. It comes to touch values, it comes to touch principles. She may be saying, hey, I don't want to be in a triangulation. Because there she is part of the secret, but she is the secret. She's maybe saying, hey, I don't want to be in a triangulation. Because she's part of the secret, but she's also the secret, she's that third person. And I think that's also why she's saying,

girl power, I want to write to the other because I don't understand that and I don't want to be in your place. But when you write to the other, I can understand the feminine solidarity, etc. But honestly, who are you doing it for? Are you really doing it to help this girl or are you doing it for yourself because you're angry? Because you may have wanted to go further with this guy. I think there are real questions to ask. Oh no, I would be a sweet girl. Really asking yourself why I want to tell him. And what will it bring? I do it for her, I want to tell her. And then what will it bring?

I do it for her, I do it for myself. What difference will it make? Because you will also go into a story, you will write to the girl. You also have to assume what will happen behind it. We don't know how the other person will react too. Will she be hurt? Will she be sad?

Will she be angry? Will she say, put away your business? We don't know. There are so many scenarios that could exist. Let's say one of the solutions, because I clearly couldn't do anything. I couldn't do that. Is it to describe to the guy by telling him, hey, I saw you were in a relationship. For me, it's inconceivable. Look, I let you say it to your blonde, because otherwise I'm the one who's going to say it. So you give her the opportunity to speak for herself. So it's a kind of less, because the girl, clearly, learning from another girl is even more shocking, I think.

So to give her that opportunity. Is that a good idea? It's a good option. Better than writing it to the girl directly, do you think? I'm always a little bit perplexed about that. As I said, my first thought would be like, if it's with you that I've been in contact, I'll start there. Okay, you'll see her reaction. Yeah, and it's really also because of a concern of, I don't know how she's going to react, and we don't know either what the agreements are at the level of their couple, because

maybe he's going to answer you by telling you, but we're in an open relationship, etc. But beyond that, it seems to me that I raise the question of consent, you know, consent, you want to know what you're getting into. So maybe if we were the devil's advocate, maybe she could have opened the discussion, but maybe he could have talked about it too. And I think there are a lot of people who flirt with ambiguity, who choose not to give information. And I would say that's something that bothers me.

You want to have all the cards in hand, then make a free, enlightened and enthusiastic choice. We come back to the notion of consent and consenting, it also goes through having this information. It also goes through knowing, but do you have sexual relations? Do you protect yourself during your sexual relations? You know, there are like a lot of things that come into account in there. And then it seems to me that's what comes to mind. You know, you sleep with someone,

and finally you don't have that much information, but it's information that can be important for you, for your values or in relation to your health. But I understand the idea, it's like feminine solidarity, and then, like, we want to share that, because we say, but if I was the other, I would like to know. Yes. But we still don't know the story of the other, we don't know what impact it can have.

Yes. But if I... It's complicated, it's complex. It's because, you know, I've already been in a situation where I was the other girl, and years later, the first one wrote to me, calling me by all names, telling me that I had slept with her ex, etc. And I had no idea that this girl existed. In my life, I had, you know, so I sent her screenshots of everything she sent me

to show her that clearly, there approached anyone who was in a relationship. I never knew anything, I thought he was free. And finally I learned during that time that he was pregnant and that he had a second child. And he was a nasty fucker. So anyway, you know... It's hard. It's like... It's not you who addresses him. You're the bitch, basically. It's like... It's not you who's addressing it. You're the asshole,

in the end, it's like, great. What do you think about the sign? Everything ends with that. I believe it, I believe it. You know, as I said, I understand that we want to tell the other, but to tell the girl, you know, listen, here's what happened, I want you to know.

But you also have to know that there can be other things that can happen behind it. And we have to be able to take the consequences. I don't know if the girl is telling you to blame yourself, saying that it's your fault, I'm going to get off in front of your house. Whatever, I'm going far in my scenarios, but I tell myself that these are things that exist that I've already heard. You just have to be aware of that.

So if we write it to the guy saying, look, I want you to tell him, let's say if there's nothing, there's no agreement and the guy is like, okay, yeah, I'll tell him, you know. And then at worst, nothing prevents you from writing to the girl later like, hey, I just want to know, she really wants an open cut. But if you, you know, we're open-minded, I would just say, hey, she wants an open cut, yeah. There, it would seem like the legal side would be involved. I would say that man. Because I find that letting go and not doing anything about it,

there are so many people who live it. And the person, she had a baby, like hey, if I had a child, I would have learned later that I would have liked to know that. Whether it was through my husband, that he had to tell me, or through the girl. Yes, it's more awkward to hear from another person, third, but I like to know better. I think it's worth more the risks that are very minimal, let's say. We've never heard that. There are no risks. And it's also how you say it.

It's how it's brought. It's written, yo, just say it, your boy made me laugh. Clearly, it's for sure. I'm very angry, but if it's brought in a way that's benevolent, I think everything is said in life. And if I like it better, I like to say it. I've already been in a situation where someone writes to me, Hey, I saw your boyfriend with another girl,

like, at the end of the week. Was it benevolent? Was it in a benevolent way or not? Yes, it was benevolent. But thank you for telling me. I'm like a dumb after that. I'm like, I didn't knowass after that. I'm like... I didn't know anything. No. That's it.

Oh no. I have too many ego. I need to know the facts. It's not true that I like to play with my back. Yeah. Hey. But it's too much to know everything. That's what you... Yeah, but it's better to know sooner than later. But I admit, the situation happened to me.

I had received a video of a guy who was masturbating, and we only saw him with his penis, and he had a special penis that you can't know. Anyway, it's impossible. Her blonde, that's for sure she can recognize it, like special in the sense that... There was something special. And I had written to the girl, but I admit that it's not the most... I was in high school, so I was like, hey, I just wanted to tell you, your chum sent me a video of her crossing.

I didn't really care about that. And she came in with a long back, like, what are you talking about, shut up. And I was like, no, how do you know that? And how do you know that it's really my chum? And I was like, OK, perfect, I'll send you the video. And I sent the, okay, perfect, I'll send you the video. And then I send the video, and then clearly, the element that makes sure

that it's possible that you don't know it. But you were angry, clearly, but you weren't... That's it, that's the way. I think it's the way I approached it, I brought it, and then I pitched the video in front of it even more. She was angry at you at that moment. Yes, but after, I saw Syllabataire not long after on her Facebook, so I was happy. I was like, yeah, I didn't approach her well, but at least...

You know, Kim, my nose... Can we shake hands as a woman and say things like that? You know, but with Dracu, I should have just written to the boys, tell them... Yeah, that's it. It's because they're going to invent anything. A creté is a creté. Or a creté. We're going to give them more opportunities to get us drunk. No, thank you. Oh, I'm sorry, I was wrong. I'm going to send it to my blonde.

He would have written that to me. But hey, it's because my blonde and you don't have the same name. It's not like if we were people, we would call each other Joanie on Instagram, Facebook. But it remains that we don't know how they can react. I understand. So if you want to say it, to denounce it, it's okay, but know that it may be forged or something happens. In all knowledge of the risks, say it if you want to. Yeah, and if you choose to say it, no matter, everyone does what they want and sees Midi at his door, but be careful how you want to say it. Yeah, and if you choose to say it, no matter what, everyone does what they want,

and then you see Midia at your door, but be careful how you say it. Yes, that's right. Because it's not a robot, it's not an artificial intelligence on the other side. It's a human being. It's a human being. Imagine the girl is pregnant or I don't know,

whatever, she just had an abortion, she just lost her grandmother. No matter, just a grief, we pay attention to how we address people because we have an impact on people's lives. And I think that sometimes we underestimate. Sometimes there are people who want to go back into our lives. We're going to meet them for five minutes. They're going to tell us a sentence.

We're going to remember it until the end of our lives. Imagine a situation like that. You want to be careful how you convey the message. It's a very good idea. I was in two relationships in the past where I cheated on my chums, including my current partner. In both cases, I really don't feel like it was my fault. In the first situation, it was a very toxic relationship where cheating on my chum allowed me to get out of this abusive relationship. In my current relationship, I expressed several things that I was sexually dissatisfied with, that I needed to connect with him, etc.

After several times telling myself, I'm going to make efforts without anything changing, I had an opportunity, I wasn't able to resist. Now my husband says it's only my fault, that it's the biggest betrayal. Is it me or sometimes the big-ass trompe-l'oeil and it's a way for the other partner to be irresponsible? And I don't agree with her.

But is it because we don't see it there, but in her testimony, she puts in parentheses, de se déresponsabiliser et je suis pas d'accord avec elle. Mais est-ce que, parce que là on le voit pas là, mais dans son témoignage, elle met entre parenthèses je n'ai pas été capable de résister. Donc je me demande qu'est-ce que ça veut dire pour elle. Est-ce qu'elle vraiment elle est en train de dire j'ai pas été capable, on est tous capable de résister, t'as choisi de pas résister. Non c'est fou. C'est ça la raison. C'est ta seule décision là, c'est pas de ta faute à lui si t'as décidé de faire ça, c'est de ta faute uniquement. No, that's crazy. That's the reason. It's your only decision. It's not his fault, it's your fault.

If we take the first part of the story, we see that the infidelity had a function for her. I often repeat it, it serves us something. And when she was in her toxic relationship, she couldn't find the strength, the lamps, whatever, to get out of it. She had an infidelity and then hop, it helped her at that moment. She was able to close that relationship and get out of that thing that wasn't good for her, the abusive relationship. There she is in a relationship with someone and then she tells him,

I am sexually unsatisfied, I need to connect more with you, etc. So maybe it goes beyond even sexuality, the dissatisfactions she experiences. And then, bam, opportunity, and she goes. I like to say it's right to open your horizons, but it's not because you have to jump on all the opportunities. Because then you have the guy who says to you, well, he's hurt, he says, it's only your fault, it's the biggest betrayal.

Well, it's true, it's the biggest betrayal for him. He didn't make that choice, to be a coq. So he's learning that, he has to go to the pill. So it's normal that he needs time. But when she says, is it me or sometimes the wrong price, the wrong price. I don't even know if it's interesting to say that cheating is a big deal. You cheated, you used it for something, then you hurt someone. It's not in your cut, it can explain, but it doesn't necessarily justify the fact that you chose to jump the barrier.

Because you could have had other conversations or made other choices. The goal is not to judge, but to tell yourself, to look at reality in the face. I choose to go and kiss someone, to go to bed with someone. It's not a question that I can't resist. I chose to do it. And that's where we wonder, shouldn't the other be responsible? But you, you're responsible too. It's like you wonder, shouldn't the other person take responsibility? But you take responsibility too. It's like you chose that.

And then yes, indeed, there is also something that happens at that level, like it's not going well in my relationship. I didn't do anything, I didn't put the actions in place, etc. There is also something that belongs to the other person, by saying, I let go, I let go of something. But these are conversations that people must have in all honesty and honesty,

but it's not easy. Especially when you just learned that, OK, you went wrong. I wasn't in the couple either, but I didn't do the act. I find that it's a lot to give of your power to say that an action you make is because of someone else. Whether it's negative or positive, you're giving your power to others. So it's also a way to take back your power, to say, it's my fault, it's an action that I chose to take.

Because what does that mean? That everything you do is the fault of others? I don't see, I don't feel like it's going very far. Yes, that's what I think. Well, the one where you... I hit you, but you took it. Mm. You know, put it there.

But after that, even everything you do well in your life, not in this specific case, but... No, no, that's it. You can't take anything from yourself. Well, it's... That's it. Do you... You know, the consultation,

I know that not everyone has the means to offer it, but sometimes, you know, I think that people think that going to the consultation costs $10,000 and you have to go to the consultation all... For me, sometimes one one-hour consultation has changed everything.

It's crazy how I find it's a 100... For me find it's a hundred, me it's 180 dollars, you know, no one can afford it like once a year, like 180 dollars that someone who needs it, you know, I speak but in fact not even, I live many times and I don't need it, but it finally I get there, I'm like oh my god I needed it, really. It's good. So, it's... Maybe we should say that not everyone has the means. For real, one consultation can make all the difference.

But it's also... It's just because life is expensive. I know. And we can put a lot of costs, and eventually, it's just choosing our priorities. That's right. That's why I say not everyone has $180, but you put $20 aside, and then you sign up in six months, let's go, or whatever. I just think it's worth it. And it makes the difference, one consultation.

Because it's just that people and I, every time I say to people on Instagram, Hey, did you go to the consultation? People are like, I don't have the means, you know. I went to the consultation, I'm like, hey, have you been to the consultation? People are like, I don't have the means, you know, I have to go to the consultation. I'm like, hey, you know, one consultation can change everything. And then for real, I find, like, it can make a sentence, as you say, there is a sentence that will come to your mind, just the sentence that you say, it's a choice and not like, hey, it's a choice. The fact that the person comes out of there, who is like, hey, it's true, it's me who made the choice to do that.

It has an impact and it has a difference on everything. So I always tell them to go and consult everyone. Yeah, and you know, it's true that it's expensive, but let's say, you know, there are people sometimes, they don't put their priorities in the right place. But I know, that's it. You understand? They will say, well, listen, I can't go to the consultation, but I'm going to go to the hairdresser, for example.

I'm going with something, a different service. But after a while, you have to look at what you want to prioritize in terms of your mental health, in terms of your couple, etc. And we're not going to lie to each other, there are people who don't believe it. They don't believe it. They say, oh, psycologists are for the crazy. Oh, a sexologist, I don't need it. What are people going to think? They are like a lot in this story.

And they don't dare and they don't talk about it. And there are a lot of people who are in it too, unfortunately. But I agree with you on that. I am for the consultation. There are a lot of people who are in this too, unfortunately. But I agree with you. I am for the consultation, and I think that if it was possible, I would like it to be in a way that everyone consults. But there are some who also create barriers and who don't want to. Besides, I think at some point there is a vignette where someone says,

but my husband doesn't want to consult. What do you answer to that? Because it's often that, it's often that one of the two is like... And then it ends up that, well, go alone, you know? You can't convince someone who doesn't want to come. If you try to convince your chum, and then finally you find the arguments, but that he doesn't feel it inside. I'm not convinced that there's an interesting job that's going to be done

if the person doesn't believe it and they feel forced. Is that... Unfortunately. You... Let's say that we take the case of the girl who is there, the guy... He doesn't make an effort on sexuality, but the girl... Let's say... Would you consider meeting them both together?

Or... Just the guy himself to see what he can do or just the girl? Is it always better to have both in consultation? Well, you have several ways to proceed. I would say that both come to see what's going on in their dynamic of relationships. But then you have a lot of ways to do it. Sometimes you see both and then you say, well, I'm going to see you next time, you next time. And then we'll see each other again.

The goal is not to keep secrets. That's not it. But it's to give each one a space to be able to tell each other. And then sometimes there are things that we dare not say in front of the other because it's difficult, because there are too many implications, etc. So it allows you to give space for, okay, I can tell myself, and then it's something that I might be able to say in the next consultation,

we'll be all three of us. So there's always a way to find ways to do it to leave room for the couple and each person, each individual. And also sometimes one who has more jazette than the other. So all along the meeting, there's just one of the two talking and the other is next to me.

Yes. That's the other person I... Do you want to? I imagine that you try to talk to both of them or... Yes. But it's not that sometimes you have one who needs more to speak than the other.

But it's true that you try to balance because it's true that science is to the couple. It's not just science to you or just science to you, it's to your couple. But sometimes when there's one to you or just the session to you, it's to your couple. But sometimes when there is one who speaks more, there are things that need to be said, there are things that need to be heard too. So it's not serious if we live a session where my spouse, my spouse, spoke more this time. Maybe next time it will be me. There is nothing that we can't say recoverable. Did you have a session with the other? And you? Yes.

For a little while? What was the... We went to see a social worker two or three times. We saw a sex worker three times. Wow. Really... Yes, and what's good is that you remember that when you go to see a professional speaker in a relationship, you're going to see a professional in a relationship, you're not caught with for a year, five or ten years, you know, like sometimes a meeting or a few meetings can do you good.

And then you know, to remember that, you know, when we explain to the other that we want to try to convince him, but sometimes maybe just to tell him, well listen, just a few sessions and then maybe he'll say, okay, I'm OK with that, but I don't want to be in therapy for a year. But he'll say, OK, I want to try one or two sessions, or three, and then see how it goes, need to trust each other, etc. It can be an alternative. The person can say, OK, this is my sand square, and it's OK. We can talk about it, and it will be in there that we will try to find things.

But there are some who don't want to go to therapy, and that's a reality. Who don't want to have a choice. So at that moment, it's asking yourself, what do we do? What do we do? I say, if you don't want to go, what do you propose? What do you want to do? Do you want to take a break at home? We're really going to discuss in non-violent communication, talk to the game, be able to hear each other. Are you able to do that? Are you able to say,

well, I'm not ready to do that, but I'm going to read, I'm going to find out about the subject, I'm going to watch podcasts, I'm going to talk to a friend, I'm going to look for support. Some people will try to find alternatives like that, but it's important to say, it's not everyone who wants to go

do this job with an unknown in the office. But we can't force someone who doesn't want to do something, it's not possible. After, it's up to us to see what we do. If I'm with a partner where it's really not going, or a partner, it's really not going,

am I ready to continue? Yes, that's it. That's after asking that question too. Number 5. Just that. Oh my God. It's been a while since I've been with my child. We would like to try both of them an open relationship.

We had already talked about it in our relationship, that it was something we wanted to try later. We now find that it is the right time. Do you see people in your office who are experiencing problems at this level? What do you recommend for couples who would like to get started? It's interesting because at the same time we don't see that there is a problem. We would say, she says, I've been with my been with my chum, we want to try it, why not? So in fact, we don't even know what the problem is.

Is it a problem? Then they say, we're going to open our relationship to try to find options. It's just like, we want to re-dynamize our sexual life, our intimate life, and then we open the relationship. I always say open the relationship, why not? But I have to, I'm a little like the devil's advocate, but... I really want people to be aware that it's not... It's not all pink. And then, opening the cut is not a rempart.

It's not something that will say, hey, I'm protected from infidelity. I'm protected from a love grief. I'm protected from betrayal. It protects you from nothing. On the other hand, it can... It brings you a variety in terms of sexuality, for example. But bringing you a variety doesn't mean that it brings you intimacy with your chum.

You understand? You're going to open your relationship, because there are some, I've heard of them. They open the relationship, they do things together, or they go to club clubs, or whatever. Then they see everything that's going on, and they say, oh, but I feel that my chum or my blonde is trying not not exclude me.

It's like, to make sure I'm there, but that doesn't mean you're included either. Sometimes you can feel that, okay, there's variety, we do things, but I still don't feel connected with you. It's not miraculous. So yes, it brings positive things, but it can also light up other things. It's no use opening the couple and then not having the right discussions. You know, when there's an elephant in the porcelain piece, there's an elephant in the porcelain piece. You can open the couple as you want.

It's not going to be something magical either. We need to communicate, we need to have discussions. If I ever take the vignette a littleette again, there's a problem in the couple. I don't know what you think. Clearly, in every couple, there's always a little thing. Would you recommend, I don't know, starting with just going to the club, to not start with acts right away, just see as a voyeurism, see the reaction, his reaction, your reaction,

to see how it goes, and then, calmly. Why not? If it's something that interests the couple. And then, in addition, I like... And I think you had asked people who had this club, it's that it's super-ballyzé.

You know, it's still... There are rules, we talk about consent, we know where we're going, so we're not let loose in nature. And then, OK, I don't know what I'm going to get myself eaten by. That's not it. I know what I'm getting myself into. And then I find that interesting.

And I also like the security side. So yes, if it's something that makes sense for one or the other, why not do it? But on the other hand, as I say, if there's ever a problem at the level of the relationship, we need to tell each other, we need to tell ourselves the truth. But reading this question brought me to the question of compersion. Have you ever heard of that? Yes.

To compersion. Compersion is the feeling of happiness that you feel when someone has happiness or joy compared to someone else. So it's interesting. I like that, compersion, as you wrote a book or you do a podcast. I'm happy for you. It's like I'm not living off jealousy. I'm really happy that you're living something outside of me.

And it makes me happy. It's a little bit the same idea in the couple. And I think there may be more and more people who want to be, who are in the comparison, it's a bit the opposite of jealousy. It's maybe the time to work on that. It's not easy. That's why I live in the choutonne, my man. I lived in the compersion.

You lived in the compersion. Anne-Sophie, could you stay with us for 10-15 minutes more to answer other questions on Patreon? Go ahead, let's do it. Are there things you want us to plug before we finish? That's a good question. We don't really have time to finish all the questions. Did we do one last one? The last one?

It seems like we didn't do... Yes. I don't know. Five. We'll't know. Five. We'll do other ones on Patreon. Okay. Is there one in there that you say, hey, that would be cool, really, to say...

There was one that I liked, because there were like several things in there. Okay. My boyfriend cheated on me for the first time when we lived a long distance relationship. He went on Snapchat and asking for pictures of girls. I have several doubts about the fact that he would have also slept with girls. When our relationship ended, it didn't stop.

I saw him on his cell phone for about two months with conversations with girls. I don't know what to do anymore. Every time I confront him, he apologizes. What can I do to set limits? I found that interesting, but there was another one that I found also interesting. I want to read it anyway because maybe we'll change it at some point. But recently, on a date with Rosé, my blonde confessed to me that she had a big kick on my best friend at the beginning of the relationship. We've been together for five years, so for me it was just funny. The guy has a big sense of humor, bravo.

Since she had opened up about a subject, I decided to tell her that during our period of frequentations, which lasted 10-11 months, there is endurance, guys, I am excited. I slept with my ex a few times. For me it was far from important, since we weren't exclusive yet, and we hadn't had a serious talk during that period. But my girlfriend was upset when I told her. She can't come back, and since then she sees it as a mistake. How do we get out of it? Well, it's sure that...

Actually, I find it interesting because it makes me think a little about our conversation from the first episode. Oh my God, because we're like, it's normal. And... You know... We can't say anything. Well, honestly, I mean, I've been in situations where I was meeting a guy and I was like, we're dating, so it's not a problem. And the other one too, and it's like, we know. And it's really cultural.

Yeah, but there you go, at the same time, as you say, maybe there's something cultural, but at the same time, when you talk to your girlfriend, to your partner, it doesn't work. Maybe French. Maybe French, I hadn't thought of it. European. I'm joking. No, no, but for real. You know, it doesn't work. hate you. It doesn't go through.

And the serious talk... Why do we wait to see it? That's it. There wasn't that discussion. It's been a long time since I've had it. If you didn't have it... I have a frequency, and I'm like... I'm like, am I exclusive or not?

If I want to be, I'll ask. Do you feel like we're exclusive, even are we exclusive or not? If I want to be, I'll ask. You know, it seems like we're exclusive even if we're not official. It really takes a second to ask and it puts your limits a little. So you know that, OK, perfect, for me, we're exclusive in relation to health, you know, also just the fact that... The sexual health. The sexual health in relation to... whatever in relation to... Whatever, you know.

But me, personally, I never asked for it, really, because... You know, as long as we meet, for me... As much for me as for you, it's not... No, I don't. But you see... She didn't say it. She didn't say it. So, it's her fault.

How do we fix that? When something is put like that, what would you say? There are several things. In the story, the best friend is Mélé. He didn't talk to her, he slept with someone several times and then it's not worth it. I think we need to review a little bit, okay, what are the basics? What do we want to tell ourselves for our story? What do we want to do with it? Because it's gone, it's gone, and we can't go back to the past.

But what do we do now with all this information? Do we want to stay together? Is it something I can forgive? Does that mean we need to talk about other things? Maybe about the background problems? What is important to us? It seems like I would come back to the basics. And then it's up to each one to see

if I can get over it. And for that, it's a bit like what we said the first time. How does the person announce that to him? Do you see remorse, guilt? Is the person able to say, I'm sorry, or you're right, it doesn't work, or I understand your point of view, I understand that you feel like that, but at the same time, we hadn't had this discussion there, and as long as we haven't had this discussion there,

I don't see that I've crossed the lines. It doesn't matter, but there is something we have to tell our partner. Absolutely. Yes, that's for sure. Well, thank you. With pleasure. It was really, really fun. It's like... I'm so...

It seems like I'm afraid it'll come out. I'm like, oh, people are always like... It's such a frilly subject that... But I think you really helped make it very... You clearly... You're not for cheating. You're really... You're there to... Well, I'm not...

It's complicated when there's a secret and when there's a lie. I'm for the negotiation of monogamy. Monogamy, I think, is not something that is obvious. We've grown up with it. We come from a Disney generation Là, quand on regarde Aladdin, on voit pas Aladdin ou Jasmine sur Tinder en train de dire « hé potentiellement il y a un risque, je suis ambivalent, ambivalente ». On vient pas de cette génération là. On vient d'un truc, d'une société un peu romantique où on nous dit « voici comment ça devrait

se passer ». Et puis quand on est dans notre réalité, avec notre conjoint, notre conjointe, here's how it should be. And when we're in our reality, with our partner, we realize that it's not easy. Because we don't know who we can fall in love with, with whom we can have a spark, then how it's going to happen, then how we're going to handle it, etc. So it's really to say that there is a trust

that must be established, but trust also means that there is uncertainty that comes with it, and we will have to manage the uncertainty. And we will have to accept that there are things that may not be in our control, but we will go through it together. That's it. I like that. Thank you very much.

And we will continue on Patreon, we have many other questions that we haven't covered. Big thank you to you. Let's go, let's go. Welcome to the official Patreon oral sex platform. I'm here! I'm here! I'm here! I'm here!

I'm here! What can you expect from our Patreon platform? It's live shows that we've never shown anyone that you'll be able to see. You'll be able to ask questions for guests who come. You'll see one bonus podcast per month. Sometimes it's live shows, sometimes it's just us here who jam. After the podcasts we're going to have recorded, we're going to go directly on Patreon to film after shows.

Announcements in advance, tickets, access to live shows. No matter what you choose, like whatever, we thank you in advance. It's a big difference for sexual orientation. It's something that grows, it's our baby. We're proud, we're happy. Thank you so much! A production by Studio SF.