Shaun Newman Podcast - #1077 - Tommy Carrigan

Episode Date: June 19, 2026

Tommy Carrigan is an American podcaster and content creator best known as the host of Tommy's Podcast (often called TPC). Based in Berlin, Maryland, he covers topics including politics, current events, conspiracy theories, personal development, prepping, mindset, and cultural issues. Cornerstone Forum 26’https://shaunnewmanpodcast.substack.com/Silver Gold Bull Links:Website: https://silvergoldbull.ca/Email: [e-mail] Grahame: [phone]Bow Valley Credit UnionBitcoin: www.bowvalleycu.com/en/personal/investing-wealth/bitcoin-gatewayEmail: [e-mail] Expat Moneyhttps://expatmoney.com/snpGet your voice heard: Text Shaun 587-217-8500

This is Brett Weinstein. This is Tom Lomago. This is Bruce Party. This is Alex Krenner. Hey, this is Brad Wall. This is Dr. Pierre-Core. Hi, this is Frank Paredi. This is Daniel Smith.

This is James Lindsay. This is Vance Crowe and you're listening to the Sean Newman podcast. Welcome to the podcast, folks. Happy Friday. Yeah, another Friday episode. And you know what? Back by popular demand. We're doing ad reads in the middle of this episode.

I know that's going to piss some of you off. And others, you're like, yeah you know what bring it on well it's Friday and uh i had so much fun on last friday with the responses and uh hearing from all of you that i'm i thought what the heck let's do it a second friday in a row okay so this friday um you know as we get into today's episode okay here's here's the deal we're going to have a couple ads throughout the episode i want you to text for your feedback on whether you like this or not here's your chance okay here's your opportunity to uh sound off

on what your thoughts of mid podcast ad reads are good, bad, ugly, indifferent, all the things in between. I loved hearing it last week and I had so much fun. I'm like, you know what? We're at least another one on Friday. Why not? Okay. So without further ado, well, actually, if you're watching on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, Rumble, all the things.

Make sure to subscribe. Make sure to leave a review. Make sure if you're enjoying it to share with a friend. All right. Let's get on to the show, shall we? Welcome to the Sean Newman podcast. today I'm joined by Tommy Kerrigan. Tommy, um, wow, first, thanks for hopping on.

Yeah, thank you. Thank you for having me. Now, uh, we're, uh, we'd already started folks. We, we started two podcasters, uh, you know, we don't need the mics to be turned on to start. Yeah. Yeah. Well, let's go back.

Yeah. It's not my show. I'm like, I got to shut the fuck up. It's not my show. Well, let's start with a bit about yourself. Tell, tell me about yourself. Uh, you know, like, uh, I know there, I was, I was just saying, if you drew it out, we have a ton of overlap, right? I look at your guest list, and I'm like, there's a ton of the guests you've had on that I've had on and vice versa.

So I'm like, well, a lot of people are going to know a bit about you because if they're a listener of, you know, XYZ, there's a good chance they've followed that guest onto your show, you know, coffee in a mic is another example of it where people follow a guest and they go listen to them on other platforms. I've had Mike on before. I've never had you on. So tell us a little bit about yourself. Yeah, I'm Tommy Carrigan. I'm 35. Obviously, I do a podcast.

You know, I guess the quickest way to just remind everything is I was pre-med in college that absorbed every moment of my life. I got into med school. I was super psyched about that. Realized I wasn't happy and decided I didn't want to go. Lost brother's suicide a couple months later. That fucked me up for like six years. just you know it's like a black hole it's like what happened like I moved home and I

just bad um started the podcast in 2019 and I've kind of just been stumbling my way through it for six and a half years in two thousand 70 episodes and yeah it's it's it's I don't know just keep it's like what's my conclusion at the end of it what's my advice to be I'm like don't quit like that that's it it used to be all these different things back you should do that and this and now I'm like just don't quit and technically you can't lose. Technically. You've only lost.

Now, I might be 90 years old on episode 11,000, and it still hasn't, like, become something. Technically, I still haven't lost because I haven't quit. So that's my logic. Yeah. That's not as much as I don't know. Yeah. We started the podcast in the same time.

I started in 2019, although you're double. Did you say 2007? Yeah, I mean, look at it. because as you're as you're looking that up that's roughly double what where i'm at i just crossed a thousand earlier uh this year and um that was a a high what not a high water market in just like no it's awesome no it feels fucking great yeah um yeah no and i just did one before this so technically 20 to 20 20 7071 that doesn't quality is not necessarily quantity or quantity is not necessarily quality.

That's also just how I approach things. It's just brute force, repetitive action, and a lot of it is over extension. Like, I would decide. It's not necessarily the best way. Like, the amount of time I would put study into a test and, you know, get an A, I could probably have done half. But I'm a psychopathic OCD,

just balls out, go for it. So I wouldn't, I don't know. It's, it's what's worked for me. because I'm a crazy person but I wouldn't necessarily say it's like double. I really wouldn't. I would say you've been doing it

for the same amount of time as me. That's the same. Yeah, it's, yeah. Well, I mean, 2000 plus episodes is a feat, you know? When you first started in 2019, what were, like, you started a podcast, you know?

And if you go through the statistics of how quickly most people shut down their podcast, you're in a select few and then to keep it going past the first year, let alone like the fourth year, you're into select company now. When you first started,

was it always to sit down with guys talking to geopolitics or did you have a different mindset at the very beginning? Not remotely connected to anything. So, you know, I always bring up like getting into med school. It's like I can't have, like, you can't see it because that was. videoed, but imagine the, you go 2000, wow, that was me with getting into med school. Like, oh, you're that guy studying.

Like, oh, I've heard of you. And so I bring it up a lot because it was a massive part of my life. It was my entire life. It's all I wanted to do. And right before I graduated, I realized I just wasn't happy. And that was like a big thing for me. And I was like, what I do want to do is I want to be my own boss and actually enjoy what I do. And then I'll work as hard as it took to get becoming doctor.

And then right after that, I lost my elder brother. So it was just a combination of like my own existential, you know, life is short, followed by almost like a midlife crisis at 23 because I was like, well, I'm not happy doing this. And I feel like I just wasted the best years of college on studying. So my goal was like, I want to be my own boss. And then when I lost my brother, it was that I just spiraled and awakening and alcohol and all that good stuff. So I moved home with my parents at age 26 and not like,

They were not near work where I was in college. It wasn't even like I was in where all my friends are. I left Georgia and went up and lived in Maryland with my parents. At 26, all your friends are getting married and having kids, and you are fucking 70 pounds overweight, long greasy hair, hate everyone. The only reason you're not killing yourself is because you don't want to put your family through a second one. You kind of get, you go, you know what?

I'm at such a bottom point. I'm going to swing for the fences. And I'm not going to, I'm just going to try to be my own. What does it matter? Your girlfriend dumped you. None of your friends talk to you anymore. You got no prospects. You already feel like a fucking loser.

Try to be, what are you going to be? Like, you know, peer pressure. I don't have peers. They're all, they all have lives with kids and families. So, like, okay, I got to go work out like an inflatable bouncy castle play. I did that when I was like 27. There's no, like, aren't you embarrassed? My life is an embarrassment.

Like, so to me, I was like, I don't care. there's no like ego to be attached to I don't fucking care and so I would pursue it with different things like graphic design I taught myself that over a couple years I tried all these different things and they all would kind of get going

and then sputter and fail with the podcast I've always been able to just talk to people I've been doing this since forever now I just record it so in many ways the reason the podcast I had to succeed was I didn't want to do anything else in life.

I really didn't. I was like, I'm going to be my own boss. And it was also like I have to move out of my parents' house. Like when I moved home, I thought I was going to be there for a couple weeks. But it's, I've been here for five years now. And I'm, you know, I just, I'm going crazy. I'll do anything to move out of here. And then beggars can't be choosers, but I was a chooser.

But I'm not going to go get a job. I'll do anything to get out here. But by the way, it has to be the dream job where I don't have the wall. Total psychosis. And so when the podcast started, it was just, it was less about like, where are you going to keep it going for a year? It was like when it started to make money and I could get an apartment, that was my lifeline. That was my, it's like, how did you survive in a raft at sea for 50 days? Because I had to.

If I had a choice of like, hey, you want to get off the raft and get on the ship, you do it. If you're stuck on the raft, you're like, how did you survive? How did the baby survive? How did the toddler survive alone in the woods for nine days? Because it had to, right? It was doing shit. It didn't want to do. And so, like, for me, a lot of the podcast was pulling me out of, like, the lowest point in my life. And I was not going to let go of this, this makeshift raft I had made. And it was going across the ocean.

Everyone else who didn't have to get on a raft or they thought they'd do it. And then they went after a year ago, I'm getting off the raft. to me there was nothing else but the raft and it didn't matter if the shoreline was a mile away or 10,000 miles away. It was, I'm going to literally die trying to do this because I'm so depressed that the only thing I'm going to enjoy doing is somehow becoming my own boss. It was, I don't recommend it like how I went about it. That might sound contradictory.

But it's not the same as like, you followed your passion. Like, I get that. I wouldn't have done this if I had a choice not to. If I could have somehow just, if I, people are like, you know, I don't regret not being a doctor now. Up until like two years ago, every day I'd still be like, dude, I could be a fucking physician by now. If I could go back in time. Like, holy shit. I would just get, just go get the girlfriend, get married.

Have to shut the fuck up, dude. Go be a doctor. Like, I don't recommend. the path I went down because it was less about, hey, you didn't quit the podcast, and it was more about, I'm going to die if I don't somehow make this work. So I don't know if that's inspiring or depressing or what. It's, it's, I talk about it lots when a person's on for the first time. It's kind of, you know, forgive me.

I'm a Batman fan. and I always thought Marvel did it better with their, not today, but you know, and their lead up to all the big mashups of all the superheroes. What did they do? They gave everybody an origin story movie so that you could figure out a little bit about who they were, and by the time they're on screen with everybody,

you know who they are. And so when I step into my world, when you come on my show, you go, is it motivating or anything else? It's Tommy's story. So it's your story. It's just what it is. Yeah, it is.

To me, I don't think anybody would choose the path you've taken, right? You know, like, who is going to say I want to lose an older brother and go into extreme depression and talk, you know, like, I just don't want to commit suicide so my parents don't have to go through it anymore. That was my threshold. And, you know, I talk about it. It's been 12 years and so it's a lot easier to talk about this stuff. I always, if I talk about this specific topic, I'll tell my mom. mom, hey, this one's not for you.

And she knows what that means. But that's not an exaggeration when it was like, what is your goal to be my own boss? And it's like, well, why not just? Well, because below that, my threshold was my life goal is to die after my parents die. That was the only thing keeping me going. And so if you stubbornly go, the only reason I'm eating food and drinking water and perpetuating by biological existence is because I can't do that to my family. You then go, well, fuck it.

I'm going to just go for something cool. If you find out, yeah, you got, hey, you're dying tomorrow. You're a magic disease. You're dying tomorrow. You're at the bar. You're going to go up to the 10 out of 10 and just be like, fuck it. Hey, you want to go get a drink? Like, what do you care?

What do you care? And so it was a lot of like, well, if that's my threshold and I'm not going to kill myself, why go get a job that's going to make me want to kill myself if I know I can't? How do I make existence palatable? It would be kind of cool to just be my own boss. No, no idea. No, like, what's the company going to be? I don't know. It's vaguely, I want to enjoy it and no one can tell me what to do.

It is. I was hoping for the like the lottery winnings and then it worked. Like it is not. I was playing Russian roulette. Like it is not like it's I don't know. I look back at it and I'm like, I don't. I don't know. It's the coolest thing ever.

I don't fucking know, man. It was it was threading the needle. It's. like even now talking about like this like I start thinking about I'm like fuck I was I was thinking about that last night I was just I was looking around once in a while you just have a moment of clarity you're like I'm here like the podcast is paying for my rent I lost 60 pounds I'm sober and I just like had a flashback to think me like 2017 and I was like I literally said it out loud last night I went you were clinically

insane that was insane that was insane That wasn't like It's not like playoffs You're like well you know I'm tired My legs hurt but I just knew I wanted the champion It wasn't that where you're like Glorifying hard work I was looking back at yesterday and I was like

That was in What the fuck was that What the fuck was that? Yeah I don't know It's it's I don't even know how to put words On to what it was Yeah

You mention Um You're sober, down 70 pounds. Do you attest that to the podcast then? Or were you doing that before you got to the podcast? So I started lifting weight when I was in seventh grade. So I was like built six-pack abs, looked like a body build at a time. I was 18.

I just did that. I did that early. Stayed that way through college. Gained a ton of fat after my brother died. Tried losing the weight for like 12 years. And finally in the last year, I just did. yo-yo dieting where I lose it and get in. Finally, in the last year and a half, I just finally stuck to it.

And it's like, well, why did it work in the 12th year? I don't, I don't know. Why did the 12th email work when you get the, you know, the big guest? I don't know. Don't give up, you know, just literally don't quit. Technically, you can't. You're still fat. Still fat for now.

Right? And it's that kind of crazy logic. In many ways, though, getting the podcast actually is what brought me back into like healthy habits. It was like, if I don't get enough sleep, I'm tired. I'm foggy, I'm anxious. That's not good for an interview. You can go to the gym feeling that way because you're just lifting weights. That's not good if you got to be a personality.

I should probably start getting full nice sleep again. You know, man, I do look fucking fat on camera. You should probably maybe start watching the galleries. Yeah, all these little things are like, you can't drink on camera. Don't do that. You should probably stop that. All these little things to make the podcast be better was it was actually, like, can now see in hindsight,

it was like me returning to a healthy lifestyle. So yeah, yeah, I don't know. I guess the podcast had saved me in that sense. Well, it's, I think of, you know, on my own end, sobriety came because of, I'd wrestled with it for a long time. Like, I didn't think it was really controlling much of my life. But in hindsight, I'm like, man, I live for the weekend. I live for, you know, having drinks.

And I got three young kids, Tommy. And so the thing that would happen with me is, it would spill over in the personal life, right? Because, I mean, you go for a night of drinking, or you're sitting at home and you're drinking with a couple of friends, right? What do you wake up the next morning? Your temper is a little, you know, a little short. You're just a little groggy.

You're irritable, all the things, and it would spill off into personal life. And so I knew in 2018, I'm like, man, I really got to get a handle on this. And it took until 2025 to get a better handle on it, right? And I'm like, why does it take so long? Why did it take 12 years? I don't know. But I know if it wasn't for the podcast and talking to, all these different people,

it wouldn't have kept coming up in my brain. I probably would just been like, this is what life is. Yeah. And like I always have to be when I say like sober, it's because it was me like when we're like, well, what were you on?

I'm like, oh, I was just drinking on Fridays. Like I have to be careful. Like I don't want people to think like, like it was like a heroic. I overcame hair. But I guess I was like addicted to Benzo.

That's my brother died and that was a lot harder. But whatever. So for me alcohol is like, well, I was drinking once a week. So I always say sober. lightly. Not as like an ego thing. I'm like, I'm not a drug addict. I'm like, no, no, no, people that get off heroin, that's awesome. What I did was just like, stop being a fucking,

a fucking idiot. For me, it was less about the spillover. I cracked my head and had a concussion in 2022 while shit-faced. And no matter what would happen, every time I drink alcohol, the next morning, I'd have a panic attack. And I have to be clear about saying, not anxiety, like call an Uber and go to the ER. I think I'm fucking dying. And then even that you go so you stop that immediately. I'm like no, that went for like another two years. And then it just kind of eventually hits me where you're like, hey man, this has to stop. I don't know if it's God telling me this. I don't know if it's just a biological feedback. It doesn't matter. This this thing you're doing, you got to stop doing that. You would, that has to go.

regardless of podcast or anything. So like, I'm always, again, it's ironic. And there are people like, you know, congrats you sober. I'm like, oh, I wish I could drink. See, yours is even better than mine because yours is like, oh, I'll be a better dad. I wish, if right now that like thing Mitch magically went away, oh, dude, the first thing I did it was tomorrow's Friday, I'm getting fucked up.

I would throw two and a half years of sobriety out the fucking window. But I can't. So I'd have to be sober. Yeah, I don't want to sound all self-righteous. Oh, it's cooler because you want to be a better dad. I just, I looked at, I hope, where I'm heading, right? Like, you know, I sit down with the Alberta Premier next week. And I guess when this airs in a couple days, folks, and I sit and I go,

I'm sure there's lots of people out there that want Sean to fall, right, to have the infidelity or the DUI or the DUI, or just the fall from grace, right? Yeah. Where, you know, and I go, and how's that? And I think logically, I'm like, how's that going to happen to you? Drinking. Yeah.

You know, I'm going to do something stupid while I'm intoxicated. It's full, it's easy. Right? Like, I mean, I look back at my marriage or previously, and I go, all the stupid things you do, 90 some percent of the time, have alcohol infused in it. So what's the easiest answer? It doesn't mean that it's easy. It's just like the answer's easy.

The actual work of doing it is way, way more difficult than that. Yeah. Yeah. It's not even like a kind of, you're like, well, that's a coincidence every time he ate a hot dog.

And it's like, no, it like 98% of my issues came from that. And yeah, no, I could say, you know, it's,

but I look at like, I've become a better brother. I've become a better son. And then I actually, it led to me after, so I got sober in January, 24th's the last time I drank. And I was like,

all right, you can do anything to stay sober, including, hey, you can have a cheat day a couple days a week. So I put on like 50 pounds in 2024. My logic was, and I don't regret it, it was I'm not going to drink anymore. And if it means I got to grab an ice cream, okay. Then I got to 2025 and I went, I've got a handle on sobriety now. It's time to lose the weight. And I look at where I am now. and I think it's God

and that's fine some people aren't that's fine it has led to me actually loving myself for really the first time probably since I was like 23 like since before my brother died to where I'm actually like

I don't actively hate myself and that was a long time I don't mean love yourself thinking you're the greatest ever I mean like the fact that you don't just like dislike everything about yourself and looking at the willpower of like, oh, I don't drink anymore as long as I want to. Oh, and I lost the weight.

And it took 12 years or it took five years or whatever. I'm like, oh, I actually love myself a lot more. And then it allows me to then turn and look at something like the podcast and go, I hope it works this week. I hope this is the week it pops. But one day I might just say, hey, it took 18 years and I don't know why. But it got me to the point. and then the end point is always something.

So it took 12 years to finally, like, lose weight. Was it worth it? Oh, yeah. It feels, it's just, I just feel better. I'm just more confident. I'm happier in my own skin. I don't need external validation. I'm like, you fucking did it, dude.

And it's like actual, like, patting myself on the back. I went, good job. It's, so right now I'm in it with the podcast. And I'm like, I still don't know if it's going to work. sometimes this happens. It's sponsor leaves or you don't have that. I'm like it's a fucking, this thing is a,

it's a goddamn unicycle on fire. Like, but I know like sobriety or like losing weight. When it does eventually work, I will go, it was worth it. And it will also be something like I'm telling you where I'd look back at like, living at home.

And it might even be something or I go, it was terrifying. I was an insane person. But it got me here. So I, there was more to it than just, all right, you got to stop drinking. It led to like a deeper, I don't know, spiritual healing that I honestly didn't think it was possible. I just kind of figured, you know, you can get a, you know, your skin covers up, you know, cuts well. But then scars, it's like, hey, that's kind of good enough.

Your body went, hey, you got this line. But hey, you know, it's an imperfect system. for a long time, I just looked at, I just figured that there was like a psychic scar tissue from losing my brother. And I would go, it's good enough. Like, it's good enough. And now I feel like I'm at a point where the actual scar tissue

is starting to go away. And I'm like, wow. So how could I regret any step that got me to hear? Yeah, it's the journey. It's like, do you want to be at the end point? in 18 years, as you point out, and now you've got, I don't know, hundreds of millions of dollars. Let's do Rogan, right? You got hundreds of millions of dollars.

Give me a. But then you're going to look back and go, like, look at what it took to get here and all the stages along the way. And you're living the journey. I mean, that's the beauty part of life is being where your feet are, you know, is enjoying it. And enjoying yourself. Like, that's a, yeah, I, folks, if I had thought what me and Todd were going to talk about. about when we first started going. I did not see it going this way.

I don't know where I saw it going. That's what I love about a good podcast, is you're like, you roll in, you're going to see Tommy's credentials. You're going to be like, oh, yeah, okay, they're going to talk about this. And then we're going to throw you for a huge left turn. Oh, yeah.

Do people come on my show? They're like, what are we talking to that? And I'll be like, I don't know, man. They're like, well, and I'm like, let's start recording. Are you worried about inflation eating away your savings? It's time to protect your wealth with real money, gold and silver. When it comes to precious metals,

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like doesn't that make you nervous and I'm like I'm like yeah so what are we gonna do and I'm like we're gonna record in three two man you you feel the fuck you just start talking yeah but it you know you you uh you talk about spiritual scar tissue and like

disappearing right like and what is that God and I go on my end I go hey that's God yeah I found God for me yeah I found God along the way like I just full stop I didn't see that coming that was one of the surprises where I'm like

oh and I you know like I living in Canada during COVID at the end the freedom convoy when you're like when you look back and you're going 2017 I was literally insane for a week Tommy I went insane so I can relate

It's just in different ways, right? We all have our different walks of life, and it impacts us differently. But when you share your story, I'm like, yeah, I know all about being clinically insane and going off the deep end. I interviewed that convoy as it was happening. Like the truckers called it. So I forget who set it up. I think Dr. McCull set it up. Yeah, there's a podcast I have whenever it was.

They're literally calling in like from the trucks. It was wild. Well, just to not to one up you, but to just give a. a shared experience. I don't care. Well, I know, but I'm like, I literally wrote in the convoy and interviewed. Fuck, yeah.

Right? Like, I was bawling like a little school girl and trying to, like, cover it up. And I remember Pretty Boy, that's the trucker's name. He's a young guy. At the time, I'm like, were you, Spencer, were you 25? I can't remember. He goes, you don't hide that shit. And I'm like, what, what?

You know, I'm like, as I'm seeing these thousands of people waving the Canadian flag and fires along the highway. and it was just like one of the proudest moments of being a Canadian, I will probably, hopefully not ever experience. I hope to experience that again. But certainly at that time going through everything that had gone on in Canada, it's like one of these moments when I watch back videos or even go back and listen to that interview.

I'm like, man, that was a, I can't believe I got to experience that. How did that happen? Well, extreme pressure. Extreme pressure and such a, They took all hope away from a group of people, everything, every step of the way. And then this line of semis goes through, followed by hundreds of cars goes through on the one highway that connects all of Canada. In the middle of winter, it's freezing. It's like minus 30 outside and people are all bundled up.

Fires right on the highway, right on the edge of the highway, waving flags. It didn't matter if it was 8 a.m. or 9 p.m. at night. They were out there celebrating half of the time they'd stop you right on the road. They'd just walk out on the road and be like, you're not going past. And then they'd give you food and shake your hand and say you've got to keep going. It's just like just a beautiful moment, you know. Yeah, like it's, you know, and it's hard to know how on earth we get back to that type of unity. but I know for that moment in time,

it was the amount of pressure put on society and specifically a group of people in that society. It could be, how do we get back to that as a people or you take that as like the concept itself? And you go, well, what was that feeling? So it doesn't necessarily have to be like a political movement of thousands of people. It could just be, how do I get back to that feeling

of like a driven purpose? What I'd say, like, what about you and three kids and stopping drinking? That was your own heroic moment. It's the same feeling. It's just one, you know, you could say it's a political revolution. There's 10 million people or it's or it's you and your son. I think the feelings, it's the same selection pressure of its, I mean, they all, I would imagine, share similar traits.

Like, you don't want to do it, but you know you should do it. So you finally go, fuck it, we're doing it. And then you're terrified when it's happening. You're bewildered and then it worked. And then you look back at it years later and you go, huh. How did that work? How did that not kill me? Legitimately, how did I, how did my heart not stop beating?

You know, when I look at that, I'm like, yeah, I don't know. And to me, that's God. And people are like, well, there's no. I'm like, oh, whatever you want, man. It works for me. Yeah, it is, yeah. I don't know. I guess that's why I still have, well, one is just like stubbornness.

But it's also why I do believe the podcast will eventually blow up. and all my, you know, all my, you know, dreams come true of, yeah, I just, I don't know, I know it will because in the past it has. And I also just, and then there's also ego in there. Like, I just, I just, I just, I just prosa, I used to do this in college. I would, I would anthropomorphize the idea of something getting a better rate on a test than me. It didn't matter. But I, I, anthropomorphize it as somebody who was, like, bullying me or, like, better than me. And it wasn't like I'm going to punch out that boy. It was like, I'm going to slit his fucking throat and let his body on fire.

Like, I'm going to, I'm going to go insane. And that's how I, I like anthropomorphize failure of the podcast. Even if no one in the world thought, like, hell yeah, he quit. I anthropomorphize that as like someone. And it's not like, oh, it's rocky. I'm going to go give him a left hook. I'm like, I'm going to put a shotgun in his throat and paint the walls with his like innards. And is that healthy to live by?

I would imagine not, but it's what I am. And so that's why I'm not going to quit. It's because I view quitting as somebody that beat me. And I'm going to kill them. I'm going to go to jail for it. It's not going to be a romantic. Grandpa punched him out, and then that's why they started dating. That was going to be like, yeah, that guy went insane.

He used like a hatchet at a bar. And no, he's life prison. Yeah, like, you know, but that's worked for me thus far. So I don't know. Yeah, the, um, first off that's a lot I don't even know what to say what you're even I don't even know how to add to that

but even when I say it out loud I'm like it is weird it's just you can edit out I don't give you shit do whatever you want no no

that's not what I do on this end I thought you said how do I edit that out no no no no no no sorry no no no no no no no no that's not what I said I can't even remember what I said I was I was just like that was a lot. I'm like, I actually don't know what to say to that. You know, like, you're going to take his drag and blow the guy's brains out. I'm like, oh, it's not how I look at the, like, I guess when I get

too focused on what others are doing, right? Sure. They got some great guest on. And I'm like, man, I'd really like that. I'm like, see, I never, I never feel that about real. Let me be clear. I never feel that about like real. If there was someone who had a podcast started on the same day as me and we both had 20, 270. This is where I actually have a much healthier thing. I never get jealous or feel bad for myself or go, well, that guy, that guy, he's a fed or he's getting, he's an industry plant. For better or worse, I always look at people who are ahead of me, be it organic or not. I look at them as they did it organically.

And that means it's possible. And I want to beat them in a competitive. It's much healthier. Like, I want to beat them. You know, it's, I want to beat that guy who did. get a better score than me. And then eventually find out he had all the tests. He was a fucking idiot. And I was internalizing an unrealistic goal because this guy was getting 98s on O-Kim tests. Yeah, but that actually led to me getting one-hundredths. So like, to me, I'm like, if it's a real

thing, I always look at it and I go, you know, they're not on steroids or they're not a fed or they're not getting a boost from the algorithm or they're not. I don't, even if there are cheats they have, I go, that person is just. better than me because if you can put a label on it and say this is it's not actually real they're an industry plant or that's actually joe rogan's a adopted son they don't have the same last name what you're really doing is coming up for a reason to why you can't achieve that you go oh it's fake therefore i can't hold myself to that standard versus if you know no it's legit dude that guy's just faster than you. It makes you stop being a pussy and go, how do I fucking take you out of the

victim and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I've always, I've always used that. So for like a very real thing, I go, that guy's better than me. When I anthropomorphize of it, the thought process that pulls me is, I don't know, it's, it's, it's something that doesn't, or it's me, or it's like a better version of me. It's like a leaner, meaner version of me. And a healthy person might be like, I aspire to that actualized version of me. I look at it, I'm like, that faggots fucking smiling at me from the future

going, you can't do this shit. You think you got it like this. And I'm like, oh, I'm going to kill you. I guess it's also because I know it's not real. You know, it's... Well, I look at it like come from a hockey background, right? And I just look

at it like, it's a competition. And I want to win. And winning to me comes in, lots of different ways, you know, like when, when, uh, I'd written it down, you'd said when, you know, all my wildest dreams come true. Well, in 20 some days now, we're taking the podcast on the road for a year. And if I, if I go back to 2019, I, that wasn't even a thought in my brain. I don't even, I can for sure say that was not a thought of my brain. A thought in my brain in 2019 is I wonder if I could do this full time, right? I wonder how to upload a video to

YouTube. That's right. I wonder what place I should go. You know, I wonder, you know, like I, I, I struggle to go back and listen to some of the early ones because I just. Oh, God. I struggle. Don't ever do it. Don't do it.

So nervous in my own shadow, you know, and yet that same stubbornness back then, like, I had an interview with three guys where I didn't turn one of the mics on. I want you to think about that. They're in studio. I go listen to it. I'm like, nobody could hear them. And I'm like, it's because I didn't turn the mic on. Like, I literally. I did.

And yet most people, well, not most. I assume some people that would be it. I'm just not cut out for this. And I just went, well, I'm never doing that again, right? I'm going to make sure all the mics are turned on. That's why I always use, I don't just record with Zoom. I record with like OBS Studio. And if it's a huge gas, I'll even screen record with like QuickTime player or something.

And it's, you know, so inefficient. It's like, you know, 90 gigabytes because it's recording the whole IMAX screen. So technically it's AK. But no, you got it. It's like, why do you do that? Isn't that little paranoid? You got to have an interview where you went, oh, fuck. And it's not even like a structured interview where you go, hey, the mic was on, can you come back in and we'll answer the questions again?

It'd be like if you said, hey, Tommy, can we redo this for 35 minutes to anyone? Hey, can we redo that 35 minutes? I'm like, I don't even remember what we talked about. Even if I did, the energy is not there. You would know it's coming when I'm like, I'm going to blow his brains out. You have to act shocked. Like, so you do have to have that experience. And there's two ways.

You can look at that as humiliation going, I'm not got out for this. Where you can go, I got to get better. I got to do better. I got, okay, the better version of me records with two programs. Okay. You know? And that's, yeah.

And then you also have to realize that there's somebody, 270 episodes. There's a me that is 4,140 episodes then. Who's looking back at me right now and being like, oh, I can't even watch this early episode. You know, right now, I'm like, I'm at my fucking best. One day I'll look back and look like, oh, you're still doing the thing where you get, I don't know what they are. Because if I knew I'd be trying to not do them, right? So I don't know.

Yeah. Well, it's interesting. You know, I try not to live too far back. I don't love looking back, although at the same token, it's every once in a while, it's nice to just remind yourself, you come a long freaking way. you know and yet you got to be where your feet are yeah you got to be where your feet are you got to enjoy like one of the things people ask me oh how's a podcast going are you still enjoying it i used to get that question an awful lot i'm like still enjoy it yeah i love it yeah is there tough days yeah is it work i mean it's still still worked like it's but the tough day of doing this

versus what i used to do they aren't even in the same ballpark they're completely different just any job whatsoever. I'm like, what's my tough day? I'm like, I got to, I'm at work right now. Right? So I'm at, you and I are at work right now. Yeah, I'll take that tough day. And then it's even, yeah,

I try not to look back and compare because that's, I think it took to be a long time of like never getting past my brother as I just was looking back at like echoes. It isn't all bad though. Like you said, yesterday, it just dawned on. You know, I meditate every day.

pray every day and you're always looking for these experiences and of course he can't fucking find them when they do happen they just happen randomly but it's a day yesterday where I was like I was like I walked like out of the bathroom and I like noticed like a vein of my bicep and I'm like I never thought I would see that again I kind of like looked at just at my apartment just a normal apartment and I was like the podcast is paying for this I don't live at home you're like is this oh yeah and if it isn't don't wake me up and you're like oh wow don't dwell on that because then you don't want to grow if you dwell on that you're going to grow content and go I've already made it I don't have to keep working

or if you do on it for the wrong reasons you're never going to enjoy where you are now because you're going to know it used to be whatever but you Mike Durant the black clock downpott has a great quote you know look back but don't stare and I think that's a very important thing is look back but don't stare I don't know what I would just get on that topic doing the word something yeah I don't know yeah well no You know, like, yeah, no, the looking back thing is interesting. A thousand episodes did it for me. When I finally crossed a thousand episodes, I was like, holy, how did I even get here, right?

And then we did a video on it, and I'm like, wow, it's, there's been a lot, you know, been a lot of ground covered. And it's strange because I run into people, you know, I do an annual event, the Cornerstone Forum in Calgary now. And it's interesting to, it's just interesting to be there and like have people that have been along for the journey. That's the strangest thing about a podcast.

Right? You can share all your things in a short video like this, right? But if you've been along for Tommy's ride for 2,000 episodes, you think about that. You've witnessed and got to hear your journey of how you've changed, almost day by day. Like 2,000 episodes in six... No, what were we at now?

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head to Bow Valley, C, dot com. You think about that, like somebody knows you as well as you know yourself or close to it. Those are the few fans that I can count on like one hand that I've given my number to. And they always say stuff. They're like, and I've never met them.

And they're like, I know you. And I'm like, those are people. I'm like, I'll respond to their texts because they know me. So I was telling you before we started that you were one of the, your most recent video on YouTube was like, you know, like I'm trying to interact with the community. And I feel like I'm trying to figure this out as well. But one of the things that I have held fast in now for, man, it has been five years at least, if not, excuse me, if not longer. So I gave up my phone number.

And I just started doing it in the middle of COVID. I was just like, I'm going to give out my phone number every episode. And believe me, there was some uncomfortable conversations had in the middle of COVID specifically. And yet I was like, when I go on social media, I can't tell who's a real person. And a real person doesn't mean they have 100,000 followers. That's how you know, they're real. There's people that are just as real with 50 followers. And they're just as smart as some of the people with 100,000.

But I couldn't tell who is real because I'm like, there's a ton of bots there. I believe that. I think we all know that there's paid people that come after different, you know, and so you look at you know, how am I going to decipher this? This is going to take forever. This is going to, you know, constantly have an emotional role. coaster. So I started giving out my phone number. Easiest way I could figure out who was real. And it helped me accountable when I had somebody on that was controversial and somebody's

upset and they call me and they have to defend their points. They have to come and yell at me and I go, well, why do you think that way? And I found it kept me at least, I hope so, grounded. But it also built community. You know, just before we, I kind of give a show to the community and listen to the show because they're absolutely wonderful and a guy text me this morning he goes hey could I meet up with you and I'm like I hadn't seen him in like forgive me maybe a year it could be longer than that I said actually yeah I could and I bombed over he was in town and uh gave me an envelope of money because he's like I know you're going on your journey with your family and we want to see it into that I'm like yeah what have I done you know I sit

here. I'm like, what have I done to earn such loyalty or belief in what I'm doing? It's, I was driving away and I've been trying to respond. I haven't responded. I haven't sent him another text. He's just like, what? I've had things like that. We're like, oh, it's surreal. Yeah, it's. Yeah. Now, I've had people that have helped to show along the way. And you're like, why did I? But that's ironic because it's like that's the very thing like you dreamed of doing like I want to get to a point like it's like the feeling I had yesterday like the goal was like from the get it was like I'm going to do this time we're moving out of my parents house like I'm here and I'm surreal and I've been out of my parents house for five years but you go how did I get here and it's like it's just

ironic because you're like it's not even like this was a random thing where it's and I let's say I come into possession of like a parrot through this podcast I'm like yeah I never dreamed of having a parrot no it's like this was the exact thing I dreamed was like moving out my parents house so I can like crank up the AC and like go to bed when I want and not feel like a weird out of like 30 years old it's like it's like it's the goal is you're like I want to make money doing this and then when you do make money you're like what is that about it's like that's the thing you set out to fucking do well but it's nonetheless not surreal I'm curious on your end I'm gonna I wasn't going to say but shout to Curtis Scott because he's the guy who who stopped in this morning

and um tany other listener that's uh you know Tommy probably does and realize this. We leave in 20 days for a year-long trip with the podcast. My family is coming along. My wife's coming along and we're going across Canada. And I talk about it now pretty regularly. But, you know, like the outreach of the community listening to this podcast has been surreal. And I should say that more. I hope I say it enough. I was curious when you're talking about, you know, like now I got an apartment and it's paying for itself. And I'm all, holy man, this is what I set out to do. One of the things that I've done every single year,

I'm actually looking at it right now, is I create a vision board. Not every year, I can't put it to that. I got to give a show to Ken for pushing me to do that again. But certainly when I started the podcast, I created a vision board. And then every year, when we're on our family trip, we write down my wife and I write down goals of where we want ahead.

And I have found by writing things out, I don't get them all, but it's insane to me that I accomplish a lot of what I set out to do when I put it down on paper specifically and I look at it and I go, oh yeah, that's what I was trying to do. And actually, you know, like I look back at, I think it was 2016. It was very general. I set out goals. I forgot I'd done this. But cleaning out the house, getting ready for this trip, I ran into it again. And one of it was like have a job I like by 2021.

have a job I really like by 2026 and have an unforgettable job something along that lines by 2031. I was giving myself 15 years. And I'm like, by the time I was 2022, I was full-time podcasting, right? It's crazy when you set your orientation of where you want to get to

how quickly you can accomplish those things and whether or not you do that. I don't write them down, but I'm absolutely every day It's part of like my, it's all one amalgamation, meditation, prayer, and visualizing. But absolutely. And it's, you know, it's not a hard science. It's, I don't know what the fuck is.

Is it quantum consciousness? Are you actually manifesting it? Are you asking God and just giving it to you? Is it just a delusional, you know, I make someone a real, they're actually better than me, and I'm going to pursue them. And I have no idea that I actually have the test answers. And whatever it is, it's an attractive force that pulls me. No, it's, it's wild.

And it's and it's, it has to be measured. It can't be like, well, by tomorrow, I'm going to own a fleet of Lamborghinis. I'm like, shut the fuck up, you fucking retard. But if it's like, by this time next year, I want to be down 20 pounds. And you're like, well, it takes like a week of suffering to lose half a pound. I don't know. But over the years of the podcast, it has been like, I want to break this number of subscribers. I want to move out of my parents.

I want to be able to pay for this. I want to be able to do that. I want to, and year after year, no, you. you don't get all of them, but the ones you get, and I've, a general rule of thumb I've found is it can't be delusional. It can't be by next year I'm going to, you know, own a trillion dollars. But you also don't want it to be so easy that you know for a fact you can do it. Like right now, my morning workouts, I'm up to 100 pushups in a row.

Every month I add five. I know in two or three weeks, I'm going to do 105. And it's always hard for like the first two weeks of the month. Actually, today was the first time I got two 100. Normally you have to stop at 85 and go and you do that. But I'm like, so there's 105 out of the room of possibility. And I'm like, no. And how many months are left in the year?

Six. So it's for 30. So 130 by December. I'm like, no, that doesn't count as vision board it because that's something I go, yeah, I can do it. It's going to be difficult, but I can do it. You can't be delusional and say, I'm going to be able to do a thousand a day by December. You're like, that's also not real because you can't even sort of believe.

it. I have found the sweet spot and it's again, and I'm very fine honing this. It's like it's you know, it's like fucking it's not a science for me yet. It's like the Wright brothers. You're like it's kind of funny. I have found that

it has to, it can't be that you know you can do and it can't be delusional. And the sweet spot is it has to scare you a little bit. Not because it needs to be Not in the sense of like living at home with my parents.

I don't mean that. It has to scare you a little bit because your heart will start kind of racing because you know that you maybe can do it. And you go, oh, oh, wait, I can fucking do that. And it's so you get the things you never thought you're going to get. You move out of your parents' house. Like, okay, awesome. And then I remember I was like, well, what now gets my heart running? Not moving out of my parents' house because I'm, I did it.

maybe moving back up to New England being closer to my family. I could do that. Not tomorrow, but it's also not going to take 10 years. And then it was, I'm going to get sober. I'm going to lose weight. And you keep moving on these little things. You're like, what makes me excited? What scares me a little bit?

YouTube right now, I've, I don't know, 16,000 subscribers. I don't get, I can't get ampy. about well i'm vision boarding 17,000 i'm like no i'll probably get that i can't vision board well i'll have 17 million by tomorrow i'm like that's horseshit but if you're like if you really grind it and just the organic self-forming networking's hit it you might hit 20 000 by December it's it's 30% of growth i've done that before you go ooh ooh maybe and that's the one you go after and then you get to it and then you have it and then you set another one. It's a very, it's not nothing. It is real. It's very real. I can't quantify it. But I know exactly what you're talking about because I do the

exact same thing. And they're all things that when you do get it, by the time you realize you have it, you've accepted them as self-evident. You're like, well, of course it pays for my random in my, and then you go, isn't it weird that this used to be the thing that would make you feel like you just did a head of meth, you're like, whoa, what if that is possible? It's, and then you have it? There's a great meme and it's like, oh, silly me, I'm rushing my way through a life that I once prayed for. And you're like, oh, no, so I do do that, yeah. Well, I wrote it out. Your goals should, you said it actually, but before I could say it, what I've written down, your goal should scare you or at least make you uncomfortable.

And not because they're bad, but because they're like... But not be delusional. You're like, yeah, it's not like... The idea of, like, getting sober and like... Like, loving myself again and losing weight. Those, to me, were scarier than like a million dollars. Because I was like, you could do that again? Like, I think I could do that again.

You're like, oh, my God. Oh, my God. So when you're playing a video game, you find out like a new strategy. You're like, you find like a glitch in the system. You're like, oh, if you go here and then if you, whatever, if you jump into the water and then reload, you don't lose any ammo. And you're like, oh, and all of a sudden, all the new ideas, you go, well, that means that we can have enough ammo to beat this boss.

And it just lights up and you get excited. And it's the opposite of depression and apathy of nothing can change. It's all falling apart. Your best days are behind you. Instead, it's like, you know, sing to the Lord a new song. Like, oh, there's, I want to go forward. it's not dread life gets better bud is a faggot life is suffering i'm like no life is beautiful that's the point of it yeah well i you have a i'm like i'm i'm sitting here i'm like how am i

going to describe this episode when somebody comes asking i'm like it's going to be like you do it i do you motivation you stop putting motivational stop putting motivational mixed with mixed with with retarded and a couple other things that. Oh, you can do you bleep those out, by the way. I don't, I don't believe it out. I think it's,

I think this is what podcasting is. It's who you are. But that's, so you're, you're feeling what I feel at the end of every episode, which is why I stopped putting descriptions. It's why I do two things. I copy and paste their Twitter and I go,

that's the description. And as for the title, I take like a funny line from it. And so they don't have anything to do with like, you kind of have a serious topic, but I just take a line from it, you know? You, like, blow his brains out. Like, you say that.

When you, when you go back to Rogan, or when I go back to Rogan, sorry, I got a quote on my wall because it was very important to me in understanding the situation I put myself in when I first started podcasting. And it's actually like a three-minute clip from an episode with him and Annie Jacobson, which is funny because Annie Jacobson is the,

author of Project Paperclip and a whole bunch of other books. You assume it's something nefarious of that, but it was actually him talking about how men get stuck. And he was talking, you know, it's what's lovely about any podcast and why the magic can absolutely just happen for you on any episode, no matter how in the realm of possibilities you're going to search in. And Rogan taught me that,

because I read the episode of Annie Jacobson. It was about, you know, Project Paperclip, and she's an author and whatever. And I, oh, that sounds interesting. the entire episode was the driest bunch of crap I'd ever listened to. I didn't enjoy any of it except for three minutes. It changed my life. And then it sent me off chasing what I've been chasing since then,

which is success in the podcast world. And the unintended consequences of that is sobriety, is fine God, is becoming a better husband and a better father and chasing all these wild things that I wanted, but I didn't know how to get there. But by entering into this realm and talking to people over and over again, such as yourself you hear how you pulled yourself on and you're like and that's a wild story it's just it's a wild story and you never know when you're going to get it the funny thing is it's like sorry i vividly remember it was december 2011 my still best friend sent me a link he's like hey

he's like hey the fear factor guy this is like when we get too high and he sent me a clip of like Rogan. Like I had vaguely recognized the name. I didn't even know Rogan had a podcast. So I started like listening to him in 20-level. I didn't know he had a podcast because I would just find these three-minute clips of him. And finally one day I was like, where did he it's coming from? And I was like, what is a podcast? But yeah, no, it would just be him talking about like, you know, like there's a three-minute way. I think a three-minute one, it's literally called spaceship. And he's like, we have this weird thing where I can like, I can say like verbatim if it's going in the background. It's like, go get a job. And, you know, it's like, we just tell

ourselves the story. He's like, Bob was born here. Then he went to high school. They played football and blah, blah, blah. And you're like, you know, like, no, like, what are we doing? We're on this weird rock and are floating through space. And do you really love this? And do you hate this? And, you know, all this stuff about like, hey, you know when you're being a bad person. You can feel it. And you're actually more listening to it. And for me, it was so instructive to me because he's like this masculine figure showing this, like, song. off the side and that the two can coexist. And so very early,

that was actually, Rogan was probably the subconscious seed that just got me to not go to med school. Because I would listen to those clips every day about like, you know if you're not really in love with it. And it would just eat at me and eat at me. And then to see him and then like, I like started 2011 and then like stopped around 2013. But then to just like see him in the background become this thing.

I was like, what drew me in originally was authenticity and just being who he is. And you go find you like, where's this clip from? And it'd be from an episode of some boring interview about, you're like, oh, this is fucking gay. And then you find that clip and you're like, there it is. And it's like, what did it work for him? Like, what did it work for him? Like, he is the top. And that's also something I kind of inspires me as I go.

I could actually say I started listening to him in like 2011. Yeah. And it just becomes what it is now. So it's, I'll find the clip and email to you right now. Are you worried about the direction the world is heading? Well, down on the show notes,

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Visit expatmoney.com backslash SMP for your free report today. Rogan's been, I haven't listened to a ton of Rogan lately. Here's the thing is I listened when Trump went on right before the election. And I love the three Alex Jones episodes. I still haven't really listened to him since like 2013. Well, he got, he interviewed Jordan Peterson, right? Canadian. And that's what got set me off was was him sitting down with Jordan Peterson because you saw these different clips come out of Jordan Peterson that kind of frame him in a certain way. And sometimes

they're brilliant and sometimes they're, you know, slandering or attacking him. And then, uh, Rogan had him on. I'm like, I want to listen to that. And it was like, he didn't want it to end. It was just like, please don't, don't let this end, right? Like, it was such a good conversation. And, um, Now in today's world, there's so many podcasts, there's so many good content out there. And you're part of the, the ecosphere. You're part of it. You're creating it.

You're doing it. I mean, I look at your guest list. And, you know, like, I recognize a ton of the names. I've had all these people on. I mean, I just assumed when we sat down, I was going to hear a bit of your backstory, and then it would branch directly into geopolitics. I just assumed that was what was coming.

But I always question my assumptions. And I go, don't do that because, then you ruin where the podcast is going to naturally ebb and flow. I don't give a fuck about geo. Now, I'm not a sense of like put your head in the same. Like, it's important to know what's going on. I do those episodes because they're fun. I never gave a fuck about COVID.

I just felt like the right thing to do and there was a threat to pull on. So it's like when I have huge episodes about geopolitics, like, that's not at all. I always thought about there, what are you into? I'm like, I'm passionate about talking to people. who are passionate. I don't care what it is, man. I don't know. I still remember.

Jeff Paduano. He literally just, he owns a laser cleaning company because I was watching some YouTube clip in 2020 about using this lasers they used to burn rust off. I just found a company that used that was something like pretty basic.

It was part of the process of like recycling beer cans. They'd burn the ink off. Some company with like nine employees in Iowa. I emailed them and he was like, yeah, come on. He and I just shot the shit for an hour and a half. People are like, why did you do that?

I'm like, this is fucking awesome. You know? And he and I just vibe back and forth and, like, he'd never done a podcast. I don't think he had social media. And I haven't spoken to him since. I don't know. Maybe he's dead. Like, like, that's like, that's why I talk to him.

And that's like, that's what I do to this day. Because I just want to fucking find out like, because it's fun. Like, tell me about, like, I had on the guy, the flat earth day, talking about the flat earth for two hours. And like, it was just fun because I wasn't attacking him and being a douchebag and he wasn't being milted against me. We're just, it's like, why did you interview that? I'm like, it was a fun hang. What do you mean?

Why did I interview him? Yeah, you want to talk to interesting people. Yeah. And I don't care if it's, you look at that. You go, okay, well, that's a fun one. I'm like, no, no, no. I view that the same way when I have on the generals and colonels talking about the war and Iran. To me, it's all the same is I'm just like a joke.

you poke that there it's fun they're lighting up sometimes it's serious you know like oh that's cool all the time you just make an inappropriate joke and that's all i've ever done is it's just why does the dog live the tennis ball it doesn't it loves that you're throwing something it wants to play with you it loves you i think you'll fuck about the stick it's like so why did you interview this this DARPA scientist i'm like i don't know can't seem like you be funny Yeah, I don't I don't know. Why did I come on here?

I don't know because you emailed me. Literally that's it. I don't know. I don't know who you were. I was like, yeah, I'll go on your show. Well, it's funny because I knew who you were. I mean, you've come up several times and the times I've talked, once again,

with Tom Luongo would probably be the one that I think of probably the most that brings your name up. But it's funny, like we have similar when it comes to geopolitics, I should point that out. When it comes to geopolitics, we have a very similar guest list, right? So it's like you can see the world's kind of climbing or at least touching in that realm. So I'd listen to a couple of your interviews before. I'm like, oh, that's Tommy.

All right. And then usually what proceeds after that is, I should probably just have him on and find out who he is. It's taken a lot longer for different hosts or different people doing different things. But then it happens in its own time, you know? Yeah. and the ones he tried to remember listening to Stanley clip

which is in 2018 it's before I started the podcast but it's like when I stopped writing what I thought people would want to hear and what I thought would sell and just started writing what I loved he's like

Stanley made Marvel right he's Marvel yeah he's like and that's when Marvel happened and like whenever I found like I want to like I try to force like I got to get this guest because this topic

they're all right they're not bad that's a strange feeling isn't it yeah because I remember going I remember going real hard after a whole bunch of yeah you finally get the big I've got him Flynn of introvert Rosam Barr

and like she's awesome I don't mean I'm not like demeanor they're great they're fun but that there's another episode there's no connection versus you do some shows where you just like like we're having a great one right out of you like we just fucking like I why do I remember

Jeff Padua, who I literally have not spoken to since the day we did that, summer 2020. Why? You're talking about lasers and shooting shit, like. Yeah, but it's funny. That episode, maybe has 100 views. But it's funny. As a host, you have those episodes where you're like, I don't know why this didn't go to the moon and back. I really enjoyed what they talked about.

I think it was an awesome podcast. And then you go, but nobody watched it, which means nobody else thought it was that good. It sounds like, that's strange to me. I find that strange when you're like, oh. That was, man, I had a really enjoyable time there. And then, like, nobody, you know, yeah, those are, people ask me, they're like, send me your favorite episode. And I'll send them on the big, that's it?

That one? Yeah. I'd be like, yeah, that one. And then they're like, I know. I know. And so I guess on that thread pulling on it, is it just because it's for you, you're like, man, that's what gets you out of bed in the morning? Is that conversation with the laser guy? And you're like, that's what it was. That's what it's all about right there.

Nobody else seems to get it, but that's what motivates me to keep doing it or something like that. Because people have asked me, what's your favorite episodes? And I'll go send them and I get the same feedback. It's like, oh, yeah, it was good. And you can hear you're like, you didn't enjoy it. And for whatever reason, that's okay. Right? Like, I don't know why that is, but I have those episodes.

I'm like, man, that was interesting. And they have, they never seem to be the ones that go to the moon, ever. So I often think about I hate online video games I don't want to play with people I very rarely will even play with friends on the same team I like open world by myself Do it ever

Now I do stream them on Rumble but that's a coincidence I've always been playing video games I always I always ask myself I'm like if I die right now and wake up and it was a simulation Am I going to be going Fuck I was playing the video game that I thought everyone wanted to see when a reality it was just you on a couch

you should play the game going to play you fucking throw on Mario Kart, throw on whatever Grand Theft Auto 5 What do you really want? When I get on like Video Games, I'm not like I should go do these missions Because it will get views Sometimes you get on Grand Theft Auto 5 You're going to God mode, you turn off all traffic, turn on the rain

You're like, I just want to drive on the highway when it's wet And it's just, you're just there And you're not a, I don't even have the audio on I'm listening to a podcast and something else I'm listening to like a documentary about NORAD And those are ones where you're like, if you woke up in some ways, like, that was just a simulation. You'd be like, I don't care. It's fucking great.

I was having fun, man. That's how I look at it. I'm like, what if I woke up and it was, and it's not that like, not normal afterlife. You have to really internalize. You go, no, no, no one else even existed. Were you putting on a show for no one else? Or were you like, get woken up and no one else existed? You're like, I don't care.

That was so fucking fun. A real fun thing. to explain it to anybody you don't need to rationalize a good workout song doesn't matter you're like this is this is the thing i want to do why yeah good fuck off that's why and those are the ones that get you up in the morning like i just want to have fun you'll look at it and you get nine views and you're like whatever it's fucking great you're goofing off you you're still really good don't like that you leave you feel like you're hot you're like that was fucking fun that was awesome and you don't care if you wake up right then and go that wasn't even a real thing it was just a dream it's an awesome dream

imagine if you had a dream where you just were going to like your cubicle and you woke up just a normal night sleep you're like mother fucker that wasn't my friends were asking if we want to day drink and skip work and i said no i got to go to it was a dream it wasn't even you can't skip work there's no work like like now that i would say be careful at that because you don't want to extrapolate that to be and that's why i'm not doing anything anymore and I'm just getting drunk and you know driving my car it's like that's bad you don't want to hurt anybody but no those those shows that you love yeah that's why you get up and do it at the end of your life do you want to go is anybody going to look back on my life and say a life well lived what do you

give a shit if you're like no I what do I care as a father a husband I don't I care it and maybe everyone thinks it was the best life I've ever lived cool I hope can you pay me but like yeah cool what if people think it was the worst life ever lived? Well, were you objectively hurting people? No. Did you have fun? Oh, dude, I loved it. I loved getting married.

When I got married, I loved the things that... Yeah, what does the noise matter? Yeah. Who liked it? I don't care. What are you talking about? Like, the amount of money I make on this podcast is less than I think the poverty level,

the technical poverty level in the U.S. I'm 35 with no kids. no wife, no ex-wife, no pets. And the amount of suffering it took here to get to here, you'd think you'd be like, oh, so you're a billionaire now? You're like, no, no, no, I'm making like 150th the paycheck I'd make if I was a doctor. Like one-fifth the paycheck, if I literally just went and got a minimum wage job. And it took you how long and how much suffering to get here? Why?

Because I get up every day and I'm like, what's going to happen? Most people don't get that. You wake up, it's Saturday. You get a whole day to ourselves. That's me seven days a week. What's happening today? I don't know. I don't know.

Add on Dave Collin before this. Where's it going to get? I don't know. Yeah. Yeah, I will take that all day every day. You know? Hopefully it makes money, but no, subjectively. I'm like, yeah.

Why else would you do? Why would I go so far out of my way to make such a fraction? of a living. What could possibly be the the jewel? I don't know, man. Waking up every day

and genuinely being like, this is how I put it. I'll wake up and I'll look at my phone and I realize it's only even fine. I'm like, I need seven and a half or eight to function. Every day, I'm not a hand on my on my brother. Unless it's like, yeah, you're having a whatever

a bad day because you are human. seven out of seven days if I wake up an hour before my alarm I lay back down I go fuck fuck I go back to sleep with the same excitement that it's Christmas because I'm going to wake up

I'm going to turn on an audio book I'm interviewing this author tomorrow I'm going to go hit the gym I'm going to sit down in this chair have some coffee talk about faggot retard talking about blowing people's brains out and I'm going to upload it

and it's going to pay my rent I mean, I can actually say that. I wake up most mornings and I go, fuck, okay, I have to go back and sleep. Is that not priceless? Instead of going, oh, no, just give me one more hour. It happened today, June 11th. What, is today a special holiday?

No. What is it? I woke up another day of kind of being my, the, the in control of my own, autonomous destiny. Yeah. Well, I agree.

I mean, it's just different circumstances, right? Sure. Man, 35. I forget how you put it. No wife, no kids, no kids, no pets. No pets, no pets, no debts. I go to the other way. All things I want, by the way.

All things I want, by the way. Did I just go right now? Yeah, yeah, yeah. On this end, I had to plan my escape from what I built for myself because I had three kids, a wife, all of who am I love and didn't want to cause

unneeded hardship on because I just had an idea and I was going to drop it all and go, right? Because I could do the simple math and go that could lead to divorce, that could lead to unintended consequences I don't want. So I planned my escape.

And yet every morning, and you're reminding me of this, this is a very timely podcast for me. It's like, remember why you love doing this? because I have the mornings where I just wake up and I'm like, what are you doing today? I was just walking in.

I'm like, I actually get to interview Tommy Kerrigan. They're like, well, who's that? So I was explaining it to him, right? And I'm like, every day when I get asked that question, I have like just a great answer. And I don't know if it's going to be a great podcast. I just like, I got a great answer. I have this wild, you know, like,

when I'm firmly under the ground. and it's all over. I'm not too worried about what people thought Sean was. Because with Sean Biggs right now, is I'm like, man, I'm having a great time.

And it's fucking fun. And the dreams that I have certainly make me uncomfortable. I'm like, ooh, you know, like once again, I bring it back up.

In 20 days, we're leaving for a year. It scares me a little bit, folks. Not in the way of like, I'm petrified to do it, just that I'm like, it's going to be uncomfortable.

And that's a good thing. And I get to be around my wife and kids for a full year when most people could never even possibly fathom that. And I couldn't have fathom that five years ago. And here we are. And every morning is going to be a wild ride. But they get to come into my world because my world is a wild ride every day. You know, there's so many times where my wife will be, it'll be Monday of a long weekend or, you know, or it's a Friday afternoon and everybody's getting off school early or for, for, for, working men and women,

they're out of the office and I come to where the studio is. And there's nobody here. And I'm like, oh, all right, it's Friday. I suppose everybody's getting out of Dodge because they don't want to be here anymore. And I'm like, I want to be here. I've lost all costs to Fridays. A little go.

I have to put on my calendar, Tommy, when it's a holiday. No, I'm in downtown. So I'll have to be like, I'm going to bed. I'm like, why the fuck has all that music? I'm like, oh, it's all like the open patio bars. And I'm like, oh, it's Friday. go to bed

whatever forget it is I do like five day work week six day work week sometimes four sometimes nine so very occasionally

my Friday will link up with other people's Fridays I'm like oh no my friends can they can hang late tonight

we can play video it and it's not like it's not a bad thing like I don't even get Fridays a little be like I'll be like

what the fuck is that noise I'll go out on my deck and look I'm like oh it's oh it's Friday in June I'm in a city

but in your in your world every day is a Friday or every day is a Monday right it's just you can create whatever you want most people can't do that yeah yeah and it's like that makes it all worth

a thousand percent makes it all worth think they can't do that I should change that sentence most people think they can't do that because I was once there I once didn't think I couldn't realize what was actually possible and there's the possibilities of where you want your life to go are endless you just have to aim

towards it once you aim towards it then incomes consistency discipline all those lovely words that uh i don't know i assume uh at some point you you ran into obviously rogan but of course of rogan you got guys like goggins wilnick um jordan peterson like the list goes on and all they're doing is reframing your brain of like, okay, you're going to aim towards that? Here's what you've got to do and get in order to get closer. You've got to walk towards it.

What is that? It's consistency. It's aiming towards a goal and moving towards it. Yeah, I always say it's putting a destination into a GPS. It's important to find the right destination. But even if the destination is, I have to go to a job I hate,

or the destination is I'm going to go to the best party ever. Once you said it, you got to get in the car. It's going to be guessing. ass and you gotta go there like so there is like it's like it's not all I bitch and complain I'm like I thought want to like you know go to the gym in the morning I don't you know but it's like what gets you there and it's like well you got to just consistently you have the awesome vision and it's like well then what gets you there the grind in and out when I look back I'm like

how did I do 2,000 episodes like hey just do one or two a day and I'm like oh I can do that you zoom out you I can't do that and it's that's the other thing is it does and as you get like as you keep achieving these like visions you can the visions to get bolder and bolder because you're like well let's try this one let's try this one and yeah and then you start to look at and this is that'll mean this in an egotistic way you start to look at people that have like shaped their reality Elon Musk or Tom Brady and you're like that's it to the nth degree but they're probably the same way they're probably just like yeah to do this and it it it's at the core of it all is it makes life excited

it's not some you know broad brush of like i want to be happy i want to be rich it's not that you can boil all those down because i've aimed for all of those and i've found what the core of it is is i am excited and it's not every day and it's not the same amount every day but i am excited it's scary but I actually don't know what the next six months hold. I don't know. I'll work this quarter and next quarter and hopefully I get the pit. It might be that nothing happens and the show goes up another thousand subscribers. It might be that it goes off like a nuclear fucking weapon.

That's wild. To be like, I actually don't know. I actually have no idea. That at the very core of everything, it makes this experience enjoy. because you're just, what are we doing next? What's the next thing? What's happening next?

Who's getting the next ride of drinks? It's that feeling. Where does this night go? You know, their buddies are you like, we're going to just do stupid shit. Like in college, we used to just steal mailboxes, like a lot of them, which is a felony. And we used to treat them like bodies.

We would chop them up the next morning. Go bury them. This is a fucking federal crime. That's the most fun shit ever. wasn't some like party it wasn't some invite to some celebrity now it's like getting drunk with my friends we'd steal mailboxes in the next morning act like serial killers we got to drop this thing up they get to a point where we're being and then it goes they get to a point you're like i can't believe we're doing this again and like looking back like that makes me laugh harder than any like will

feral movie if it's like we'd have just us at like 22 being like having a serious like intervention with each other and be like, Cassus has to stop. We're going down a dark road. We're stealing mailboxes. And then we had, once we buried them in our backyard, we actually start hiding him in the attic.

We'd go lift up the insulation. They're probably still there. And then we like, well, we actually, and we took their mail too. Fuck, so we'd go back to the next thing

and put the mail in the hole where the mailbox was, which is like a serial killer mocking its victims. And it was just funny because it's, it's arbitrary. It's a piece of wooden,

you know. probably sure to be a federal crime but just thinking back i haven't thought about that forever i was just having like guys we need to have to sit down with each other that's like what are we doing are we selling coke to kids or we it's like no no no we have this bad habit of like and we're getting away with it and we're starting to get cocky and we can all tell me like and i'm starting to enjoy it and we're like we have to end this now right it's like now i went to university georgia i don't it's not me thinking about a football game right now that's making me laugh it's not go to a crazy frat party it's like me and my friends being like we have totally trailer catapal like no more you know and like that's what

the podcast episodes that i enjoy that no one else enjoys feels like i just that's what it feels like it's like that's what i want to look back on what i don't want to explain someone i want them to kind of be looking at me with like a blank slate be like yeah i guess know I didn't even know where I was going with that but like that's what I want to look back on it's the same just giddy feeling I have I mean there's a there's a picture on front of me of me like drunk as fuck in my bed with a mailbox like we just freaked out we're like this has to stop we were treating it like it was hookers we were like do we put him at a trunk should we take them out of town like and by the way we weren't like smart about it we

you're doing it in our neighborhood. How many times can it happen before the one house where it hasn't happened to is where your corporates are? Like, we are doing this. I got to spread out community. We are doing it next door to people. Like,

I don't know where I'm going with this story, but like, I don't know. Like, this is the feeling I want to have looking back on my life. It's just like giddly explaining something. Tommy, here again,

stealing, stealing, uh, mail box. Yeah. Yeah. somewhere somebody's driving and is laughing at this and just stay on the road just stay on the road folks stay on the road and the thing is like if i text this to one of my buddies right now they'd

make it we can't we still have this air of like yeah we're not talking about that like you know like they're still there like the cold kids can be opened i can bring like go to the cops like you got a confession to make like you know and and go to the house like go up in the attic no the bodies are there it's the mailbox like you just do that shit Yeah, we'd put the bills back in the hole too, like, just so cocky, so mean. But yeah, I don't know where I was going with that, but yeah. Tommy, I appreciate you hopping on. Once again, I'm like, I didn't know where this hour was going when I first started, right?

Like I had a general, oh, maybe he'll go here to not plan this left hook, this left turn, this Uey. and I appreciate that. I appreciate you hopping on and doing this. Where can people find you? Where can they, I mean, it's pretty self-explanatory, I think, but in saying that, where can they find what you do? Go to YouTube, Tommy's podcast, white letters on a black logo, just as TPC.

And subscribe, folks. That way you can get to $17,000 a little quicker. Yeah, go do that. Give me money. I don't know. Or don't. go why yeah i haven't i haven't thought about that i'm like you should say go subscribe i don't even think about that i'm like yeah just go visit it no you don't like and tommy you should tell them to

subscribe like i don't even think about it and subscribe i really haven't thought about it until you just said that yeah well i don't do it uh good enough either so yeah we're all growing yeah go yeah you go subscribe i guess yeah i don't know don't prosecute me for a mailbox who do who do you have coming up uh uh uh in your upcoming episodes for people who are curious. I had Dave call him on this morning, so that'll be up in like an hour. Tomorrow I have author Douglas Valentine, Saturday, Tom Luongo, Sunday, I'll have all the colonels and generals.

Tuesday I'm having on Tucker Max again. Hopefully I'm getting Joe Kent back on. But I passed like 10, 15 days. I don't get the black hole. Literally that counter's empty. That's the other thing. It's not playing episodes. I don't plan really past like a week and a half,

which is also like I probably should. I have no idea. I have no idea. Well, someday you'll have a team that'll help you, hey? Yeah, probably. I don't know. I hope. I hope so.

Unless I don't need it. I don't know. It's the fact I don't have any employees right now, I do kind of have this idea. I used to want a whole team to do everything. Now I kind of like the idea of like, what if I did get it to Rogan's side? and it was just me

where I just end to Zoom recording and upload it. I don't know. I think that's kind of funny. I'm not saying it's the best financial move. There is something to me that's kind of funny about

I don't know. They're not being a team. I don't know. I'm sure if you wrote me a check for $100 million, I'd shut my fucking mouth real quick. But yeah, give me a team. Yeah, we'll workshop.

But you do whatever you want. But in the ads, I don't care. Yeah. I don't know. well appreciate you hopping on doing this yeah man thanks for having me