Shaun Newman Podcast - 2'sDay Mashup #9 - ft. QDM

Episode Date: June 21, 2022

2's from 222 minutes & Quick Dick McDick hop on to discuss the weeks headlines: 100k government travel spending, monkeypox, dead cattle, the Whisky War & F1 driver condemns Alberta oil. Let me know what you think Text me 587-217-8500

All right, welcome back for another edition of the Tuesday mashup. This one was a special one. Well, of course, got Mr. Toos, 222 minutes, and we're joined by QDM himself. Q2s, thanks for hopping on. It's always a pleasure. I don't know. Am I even going to get a word in tonight? Well, we'll see.

I don't know. This is actually the first conversation that Quick Dick and I have ever actually had. And Jesus Christ, if you say manifold one more time. maybe yeah i actually uh is there a way that we can put the box over twos his face while we're doing this he's much better looking with it there i'm looking behind the scenes and i'm disappointed right now you can just put a post it note on the monitor or something you're you're getting you're getting a behind the scenes view queue this is what happens when when you're on the live session before it's edited with whatever logo we put there today

Well, I mean, you could put this logo there. That is a sexy logo. I don't know. Yeah. Are you man crushing right now? Is that what's going on? I've had this shirt for a long time, Sean. I wore it on one of your shows.

Anyways, okay. Here's the deal for this week. Normally we do two minutes. We're going to start with two and a half. We'll see how it goes. I don't think we have any shortage of laughs with you two Yahoo's on here. But we'll see how it goes. Yeah, like we're the only Yahoo's.

I'm a stand-up, gentleman right here. Thank you very much. That's, that's all I'm going to say. Is that like stand-up comedy, except you changed comedy to gentlemen? Yeah, this is a stand-up gentleman. I go in front of a crowd and act like a gentleman all the time. Yeah. Hey, is this thing on? Timer has started. Here we go. Governor General's guests rack up 100,000 in flight catering bill during Dubai trip. Who wants to go first? I would like to say that they actually issued a correction a couple days later. CTV went out of their way to run a story saying that it was actually only 80,000. Thank God. There's another person's wages that works on minimum wage

that's been saved that we're so concerned about. Fantastic. I got to say here, when I read the story, boys, I saw like, I don't know, 30 people on a flight and they're all worried about how much it cost a flight to buy. I feel like they're living in like early 2000s oil patch where they don't care about money. They're going to fly across the world. They're going to rack up the bill on the plane. They're probably going to get a lap dance or two and they're going to carry on. And I just feel like that's like early circa 2000 oil patch. Maybe I'm wrong. It just, you wouldn't think you'd see it in the government. Do we have a headcount of persons on the plane? The one flight had 20, 29. 29 or something. Yeah. 29. Call it 30.

Sure. Yeah. So 30 people, $80,000. Are we being serious here right now? Or like, and everybody's just okay. This is, you know what I mean? This is the national post. And we know that our Canadian media would never lie to us. And if anything, it's probably way worse. I just like, like, I don't know.

I try and make fancy things with cheap peanut butter. You know what I mean? To make life work. And I mean, when you have a government that's working for you, would you not expect them to try and be making things affordable? But like, do you just really like fly across a country? You're just like, you know what? you think the fuel that we're burning in this plane's expensive,

we're going to show you what we can do with food and booze. Hold my beer. Well, I mean, there was a follow-up article that talked about the liberal party's flights back and forth. And it was something like in the last year, the last two years, there was only one flight that didn't have, quote, in-flight catering on it. So out of every flight that they've done,

even like those little puddle jumps between Toronto and Montreal, but the booze never stops. I tell you what, if I had to deal with you harassing me every single day, too, I drink too. So I'm not even worried about it. I say, I want one of these cushy jobs, as I always say, I'm like, how do I get one of these jobs so I can fly around the world and drink? To me, it seems like a no-brainer. Hey, listen, I drink every day. I just, you know, drink, you know, cheaper stuff that I can afford, you know what I mean?

But like, everyone's talking about in-flight catering. isn't all food that you eat on a plane catered? Like, I don't know. I think they give it to it. It's not like you're going to pull over and get drive-through. All their flights, all their flights. McDonald's gets really pissed when you come through the drive-thru with a fucking 747. Oh, am I allowed to swear on this?

You'll have to speak up. I can't hear you. TikTok star Remy Batter says she was mocked for a wait after being turned away from a horse ranch. The backstory on this Q is Q and Tuesdays this is going to baffle me for the entire show Is that a woman Two of us here

A TikTok star went to a ranch to ride a horse And they wouldn't let her on Because she was too heavy Okay This is to choose your own adventure Scale of 1 to 10 How much of a dick do you want me to be For the next two and a half minutes

What are you got to be a dick Like you're saying it like it's a bad thing You know what I mean? I've been a dick all my life and it's not easy being one. So I think he just said choose your own adventure. You get to decide to, uh, to fire away. No, you can be a dick.

I know. Yeah, it's fine. Okay. All right. Welcome to the club. Glad to be here. All right. So, I mean, first off, this is, I, are we sure that they got turned away just because of the

weight restrictions? I mean, they probably, they probably didn't even know how to cater to her. I'm sure this woman loves old. almost more than you do. And like not, not to squish a dead horse on this or anything, but I think it's pretty valid to say that if you weigh like a quarter of a much, as a quarter as much as the horse, if anything, it should go the other way around and the horse could just ride on top of you for a little bit. I'd like to like compare their teeth and see who was older between the two of them. You know what I mean? I don't know how many people

know horse things, but that's a pretty good horse joke. But, but like, do we have actual numbers? Like, do we get a weight? Or they just said, no, you're too heavy. She said in Article 240. Well, she was over 240 is what she said. So, I mean, the sky is the limit. And I mean, the sky's the limit.

But eventually, like, this whole thing is just going to devolve into a black hole. I don't even have anything to say on this, this topic. We're just going to move on. You two rascals and everything you're saying. UCP leadership contender, Daniel Smith wants Alberta to ignore federal laws. It doesn't like this is her sovereignty act she talked about on the podcast. What are your thoughts on a candidate talking about the Sovereignty Act, Daniel Smith? Quick, what do you got?

Like, to be honest, I think a lot of people should start ignoring federal laws and they should have been doing it for a long time. It would probably make the country a better place. But I like, I think it's great. but we see a lot of things that Quebec does essentially. That's just like, and I think she mentioned that in the podcast too. It's just like Quebec's like, yeah,

you know what? No, we're not doing that. So why is Quebec the only place that can do that? You know what? I think we should start doing that in Saskatchewan too. We should do it in Alberta. Like actually,

you know what? Carbon tax and all that doesn't work for us. We're just not going to do it. Can I ask to? It works for Quebec. I like quick take actually there. I'm not going to pump Danielle Smith any higher than what she's already been pumped by me on the podcast. Do you still hate her?

Are you still like, you can't trust her? This isn't a case of me not liking her. She was the chosen one. Like I just, I had nothing but love and respect for her. And then she just spiked the ball on the one yard line. And I'm not ready to put that amount of trust in her and not count on her to do it again. I do find it really interesting though. Justin Trudeau was pretty pissed off when he heard about this.

He said that he called it, I think the exact word was plagiarism because he's ignoring laws. that he doesn't like as well. Sorry, I could have, I could have teed that up with a better. You see how you had to explain that one for me? I was like, what did she try and write or whatever? Yeah, I know I got you now. I'm still going back. I'm still thinking Star Wars, Obi-Wan Kenobi.

You were the chosen one. Well, that's exactly. That's what you're saying. Daniel Smith of 2015. You're talking she's Anakin Skywalker. Like she's supposed to be. And now she just wants to reboot the franchise. He's supposed to balance the fireman.

That's where you're getting. Listen, Sean, I just got to ask you. Have you ever listened? to anything that twos has ever done. And one of his most important ones that I've ever listened to is him explaining to everybody that he has trust issues. And I like, I get it.

You know what I mean? I get it. Well, he's asked me every time I'm bringing her on, he goes, could you get her to explain wild rose? Could you get her to explain wild rose? Could you get her to explain wild rose?

I hate her. Could you get her to explain wild rose? I'm like, I don't know how many times the woman can explain that. But I mean, she picks a different way to do it every time. Oh, I'm going to respect the buzzer.

F1, you know, F1 driver under fire for wearing any oil sands shirt to Montreal Grand Prix. Can you think, like this is, now this is original QDM going back to Snapchat. Like,

this is just surefire material. You can't, you can't write this stupid. Like this is, you can't. You can't make this shit up. And I think there was, so I tried to follow what this goofball has said

and what he did, like, unfortunately, on Twitter. And there were some people that were jumping in, obviously, some, like, climate activists that were jumping in being like, well, that's, uh, these, these people enjoy driving mask carts. Their passion, so that makes it okay. And I'm like, wait, but you know what? So if it's, if it's your passion and it makes it okay, does that mean I can shit in my hand and throw it at somebody if it's my passion and that just makes it okay?

Like, it should be fine then, right? That's a, yeah, but what he does? What? Listen, I'm just spitball in here. Like, instead of having researched any of these articles. But the other thing is this guy jumps in and he's like, you know what? It's Formula One racing that gets him platform to speak against what he wants to. So who cares what Formula One racing is okay.

But so if you're a serial killer and that serial killing that you have done has made you a famous person, does that make it okay for you to just speak out against serial killing? You're like, yeah, I'm a famous serial killer. and serial killing is wrong. I'm going to keep serial killing to give me this platform so that I can speak out against serial killing but I'm still a serial killer

and that's fine. That would be the most fucking crazy pills. I know, right? Every day, every week we come back to this segment, this Tuesday mashup and all I think is the headlines can't get any dumber. The headlines can't show

how more corrupt our government is. They certainly every week. And every week. Every week, a guy literally racing around a track blowing just mountains upon mountains of fuel for entertainment is going to attack. Not to mention all the practice he puts in. It's not just the race day.

Not to mention who funds him. Saudi Aramco. Well, I mean, it was funny. I talked about it one podcast how Leonardo DiCaprio never said a damn thing about climate change. He borrows the Saudi Arabian prince's yacht for the summer and then comes back and start shitting all over Canadian oil and gas. same thing. Oh, this guy, well, who's he sponsored by? Like this, this would be like if you had, if you were sponsored by Apple and then you started

shitting on Windows. Can they not think through the problem? Microsoft Windows? Can they know? I mean, this is, yeah. He's still, he's thinking of shitting on windows. Anyways, he's still thinking about shit in his hand and throw some shit. Throw my shit at Windows?

That's what he takes out of this. He's going home to throw some shit at windows. I just can't wait to see how many races. as he wins running around at a car made out of fucking Pete Moss. I just can't wait to see it. I'm sure he'll do fine. Federal government consistently, constantly

stifling transparency, twos I'm looking at you. Okay, well, there was a half dozen articles that dropped just in the past week. Like, that's the thing about this show is it's just what's current news. And this is all current news. So Fed spent $39 million over two years hiring private contractors to process and censor documents sought by Canadians under access to information. They paid people $39 million to throw black ink at stuff.

Emergencies Act Freedom Convoy records withheld until days before inquiry end. Federal watchdog flooded with record complaints about access to information. And then this is a good one. This guy from this advocacy group showed a screen. They were throwing black ink at stuff and it hit their leader's face, if we all knew that or not. I'm just making sure we knew that. Sorry, interrupt.

Keep going. Oh, no, no, we've always got time for Black's face jokes on the show. All right. And then, so this is funny. He did, there's the vaccine industry support program. He wanted to access some information about it. And it's literally all blacked out except for the titles.

So under effective communication, everything's blacked out. And then implementing an open and transparent claims intake process. The entire thing's blacked out. Short story is, short story is, we have a leader who talks about transparency and we got to be trustworthy and we got to and then he funds somebody to make sure that nothing ever gets seen literally nothing. When it comes to transparency, the man is transphobic.

That's yeah, I got you. Yeah. You know, oh, it's over already? Geez, these go fast. Q, what do you want to say? What would you like to say? I was audited in 2020 on corporate use of a pickup truck from the year of 2016 while I was consulting in the oil and gas industry and it cost me around $1,700 to get through that.

And I had to give all my information to the Canadian government. And then they did it again in 2021 from the previous year because any profits that I make off a quick dick, make take goes like different, you know, local charities and everything. I don't keep any of it. And then they audited me because they're like, hey, you're donating too much to charities. I'm like, am I taking crazy pills here or what's happening? So what I'm going to start doing is next time they ought to me. I'm just going to give them all the documents and just have it all scribbled out and

fucking Sharpie. And I'll be like, yeah, well, you do it. So I'm going to do it too. Nobody's that good. Nobody's that good, cute, right? You're just a pinnacle of, yeah. Yeah, absolutely. Funny thing, though, they actually just, they just fired.

This is also recent. No, just hold the buzzer. They just fired 110 people or they had 110 instances of fraud, rather, in revenue. you Canada, they reprimanded 80 of them, fired 20 of them and 10 resign. It doesn't matter what industry you're in. You're going to have the bad actors. You're going to have the twos of the world. I am a great actor. I'm a quality thespian. Have you ever seen hell on wheels, Sean? He's a pretty good actor. I was in hell on wheels.

WHO will rename monkeypox virus to minimize stigma and racism. Okay, let me just say that saying it's racist to call it monkey pox is the most racist thing that I can think of. I'm going to be honest with you guys. I just, now that they've renamed it, I can eat a banana and not feel that I am being stigmatized, you know, so that's good. If I see you eating a banana, you'll feel stigmatized.

listen it just as long as I'm not looking you in the eyes while I eat the banana we're probably okay you know what I mean is does anybody even listen to what okay yeah nobody yeah exactly next did it mean even listen to what the WHO says anymore I don't know anyways end of an era Microsoft retires uh internet explorer after nearly three decades 24 plus years I believe in 27 plus years. Speaking of irrelevant things that nobody cares about anymore. Hey, but here's the thing.

I feel like all of us out on the farm at some point probably had Internet Explorer. Did we not? Did we not? Yeah. And then switch to opera as soon as I heard about it, like literally, immediately afterwards.

Switch to what? Opera. It was like the first one that had multiple tabs. You didn't have to go to multiple windows. Opera? Like, Opera. Like Luciano,

Am I from fucking Mars right now? What the hell are you talking about? It's an internet browser. I'm not shocked. You didn't know what Crystal Pepsi was and now here we're... I know. Maybe we're dating ourselves. Not like we're dating ourselves.

We're putting... No, no, that's okay. Going back to Crystal Pepsi, if you go to Crystal Pepsi, if he would have just said clear Pepsi, instead of this long, drawn-off story, I would have been like, oh, clear Pepsi, okay. Carry on. Instead, he had to have...

Like an extra stillable throws you off, clear versus... Crystal. If it was crystal clear Pepsi, he would have got it, right? Okay, well, you know what? Okay, just in the efforts of making Sean feel more included, let's finish by talking about Netscape Navigator for a little while. Oh, that sounds great.

After that, can we go to Napster and a few other things too? Sounds good. Okay, so Sean, Napster was like the original legal music downloading thing. Really? Is that what it was? Is that what it was? Now you're just being a prick. Canada and Denmark settle a lot.

longstanding territorial dispute. You realize this was called the Whiskey War? Do you know about this? Do you know about Hans Island, quick? Do you have any of what we're talking about? I did not study any of this stuff. This one is a new one to me. Explain it to me.

So since like 1971-ish, there's been a dispute over this rock that's about a kilometer squared in the middle of nowhere. I mean, it literally between Greenland and none of it, right? Like it's it's literally a giant rock in the middle of the water. And one of the closest points. It's one of the closest land points to the North Pole. Like it's just it's never going to be anything at all other than just an interesting anecdote. So.

And it was it was an incredibly fun little dispute between Canada and Denmark where whenever one of them, you know, one of their Navy would come by, they would change out the flag and leave a bottle of either Canadian whiskey or. Our military started it. They left the bottle of whiskey and a Canadian flag declaring Hans Canadian. And then they came back and left a bottle of cognac with a Denmark flag. And then this just went back and forth. Yeah. Yeah.

So they leave a bottle for the next guys. They'd leave a bottle for the next guys. And this was just this fun, lighthearted, classic Canadian thing that went on for decades. And it was like it was the most fun that anybody's really had in war since. oh god there's so many bad ways to take that joke i'll move past it and anyway in in classic trudeau fashion you've got something that's fun and interesting and enjoyable and he's like well how can we just make it suck end it yeah what what why would you why would you ever stop that ever like because you are a thief of joy would have like that's the kind of land dispute i would get in on with my neighbor

but it like turned him to be like you'd fight over your land like every day yeah left the six of a bottle of vodka right there. Where's that's important? He's down at the fence again. Yeah, they got in that land dispute. It's his second land dispute before 10 a.m. He must be having a bad day.

But like honestly, though, if it's just a rock in the middle of the water, if these fuckers want to battle over a rock, I've got thousands of them here that they can come and have for free. It is going to pick them up. be a bastard to get here in a both though i can tell you that much trudeau did fuck that one up though let's be honest okay what else doesn't he fuck that thousands of dead cattle what did everybody

think of these videos coming from from kansas like i'm sitting here and cue you're laughing we brought we brought along the subject matter expert for this you know uh okay when it comes down to things like this. Like I take I take dead animals very seriously, especially, you know, being a beef producer and whatnot. When you see something like that, you're like, yeah, like I don't know what's gone on or what's happened either way. I mean, natural disasters can happen. Maybe sometimes you have, you know, producer neglect and a few things going on and maybe in the odd time you have a weather event that could cause it kind of thing. And I have actually, I have refused to comment on a lot of the stuff because you just can't get to the bottom of the story of exactly what it may have

or may not have been. And I think there's a lot of conspiracy theorists that like to run with a few of these things. I can see this being a weather event at a feedlock in Kansas, depending on how things went. But I hate throwing producers under the bus with absolutely no proof whatsoever of what's gone on. And it's really hard to be able to get to the bottom a lot of this stuff and you see a lot of people that just go batch it crazy nowadays with 30 seconds of video and they take that 30 seconds and run with it and you're like I'm sorry what so yeah I like if this was a large feedlocked in the middle of Kansas and they got hit with some very severely hot weather I can see it happening okay I guess my question is that it's okay it seems

to just be the one I mean I just saw the one video of the one presumably feedlot. And then the second thing is, why aren't there more dead animals of other species around? And I mean, I don't want to minimize, I don't want to minimize the cattle that died. I mean, Black Angus Lives Matter, right? But it just seems suspicious that there's nothing else around it. And like, that's the issue with all the stuff. You see, you see this one 30 second video or whatever it was of a bunch of dead animals. And you're like, well, that's great. Can I get some more context. No, the world is losing its mind and going off on what's going on, but we have zero other context. You know what I mean? I thought like, you channel us into different things that happen with

the, with, you know, with police brutality videos and a whole bunch of different things. We have a, we have a world now that forms their opinion off what they see on 10 to 30 seconds of video and they're like, can you believe what's happening? Do you know what? Can I get some more fucking information? No, you can't. This is all you get to base your opinion off of. Perfect. Can I start using this theory with my fucking banker? Because I will show him the best farm he's ever seen in his life that's profitable.

And he'll give me all the fucking money I want. God damn it, I want some more fucking information. He's going to want you to settle that border dispute. Well, that's question. How about this one then for a cattle guy? Would you give your cattle, Bovier, I hope I'm saying that right, a Denmark feed additive. A teaspoon a day cuts their burps by a third.

Now you're fighting climate change. How are we fighting climate change by cutting our cattle burps by a third? Well, supposedly there's a whole lot of cattle on this planet. And they're burping and farting is messing with climate. Yeah, no, actually, it's not because the neatest thing about cattle is that the cattle herd size on planet Earth has not increased since the early 70s. Did we just lose them? Did we just lose them?

we lost them then a little okay okay I'll jump in hi there I'm quick Dick McDick and here's what I think

about things is that oh shoot he's back oh he's back where did my rant start my internet connection is unstable

me and old Elon are going to be having a chat about that I guess I think I think the climate change people decided they didn't need to hear what QDM at

say. Hey? Oh, yeah. He was just fired up. This is big brother. Like, and yeah. Where did I get cut off? I agree. The liberals. The liberals are watching this. This is C-11 right now. They're like, oh, no, he's about to drop the two-truth bomb. Yeah. Boom. Oh, where did I get cut off? I just saw Sean Drake at the beard. At the start. At the start. You basically said that the cattle population has not increased since the 70s, and that was just too much truth for the internet to handle and they cut you off. So the thing with methane is methane is actually absorbed in the atmosphere. And the only time that methane gas is increased would be if our cattle herd actually increased,

which it hasn't done. And it's actually been called out because of droughts in the last few years. So the methane that is produced by cattle, if people want to call it a problem, is very interesting because the methane produced by rotting grass where cattle graze on marginal lands is actually mitigated by ruminant animals grazing it and allows for more green grass to grow underneath it, which sequesters more CO2. So I would say to climate change activists that have a problem with it is to be like the answer to methane emissions is more cattle, not less. We can't have truth like this being dropped on the show too. That's it. Cues off. He's done.

That's just the 11's coming. It's coming for all of us. I mean, if there's a teaspoon that we can feed something for it to have less gas. I would be interested in trying it myself. And I know a lot. I work with a lot of people that I would just be roofing them with it. Would it be called roofing though? Or I think we'd have to come up with a new name for. Tootie? Tuding? I don't know. Oh, I got tootied last night. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. This whole conversation's been an absolute gas. Here's your happy news for the week. A teen hero dives in the water to save a woman trapped in a sinking car.

17 year old. Did you see the video? Obviously Q, not doing his homework, did not see the video. Did you see the video? Yeah, he showed up wholly unprepared. I sent you the video. The video is this girl drives like straight in the harbor. Instead of pressing the brake pedal, she presses the gas and over she goes.

And then you see this 17 year old kid rip into the water and pull her out. Like it was pretty slick. Yeah. I mean, it's, it's great that he was there. It's another sad case of a woman driver being in over her head, but somebody was there to save him. Yeah. I knew it was going there with you, man.

I just couldn't wait for it, right? Yeah. But you know what? The world needs more people that will jump head first into a body of water after a car. And let's all be honest, he wasn't going to save the woman. He was just going to try and siphon the gas out of her tank before it got to the bottom because it's too fucking expensive. Well, fellas, thanks for another eventful half an hour of debauchery. Tews, Q, thanks for doing this, and we'll catch you next time.

This was great. That's my line. Thanks for coming, Q's. This is the fastest 30 minutes that ever been true. Cues? Is that what we're doing now? No, I'm doing it too. Not Q.

Jesus Christ. Q. Well, you said you were. Oh, my God. Let's just start calling everybody by their first names. We'll start with you, too, say? Start with you. Fair enough.

Take the box off your head and we can have a chat. Oh, God, for the people that watch this, just leave it on. Oh, it'll be so much happier. Oh, my God. People tell me I look like a young Brad Pitt. Apparently, he had some awkward years. And some really bad plastic surgery, I guess. Yeah, but yeah.

I have had no plastic surgery. Yep, I guess.