Shaun Newman Podcast - Ep. #144 - Comedian Kelly Taylor

Episode Date: January 13, 2021

I've heard so much about Kelly Taylor & he did not disappoint. Originally from Prince Albert SK he's got a cool story about how he rose up the ranks in comedy, had a shot at Jimmy Kimmel, performed in the Flyers dressing room & touring pretty much every college campus from Manitoba to Texas. Super cool dude. Let me know what you think Text me! 587-217-8500

Hi, this is Braden Holby. Hey, this is Tanner, the Bulldozer Bozer. Hi, this is Brian Burke from Toronto, Ontario. This is Daryl Sutterin. Hello, everyone. I'm Carlyagro from SportsNet Central. This is Jay On Right. This is Quick Dick, quick, tick coming to you from Tough Moose, Saskatchew. Hey, everybody, my name is Theo Fleary.

This is Kelly Rudy. This is Corey Krause. This is Wade Redden. This is Jordan Tutu. My name is Jim Patterson. Hey, it's Ron McLean, Hockeynet in Canada, and Rogers' Hometown Hockey, and welcome to the Sean Newman podcast. Welcome to the podcast, folks.

Happy Wednesday, hump day. We got a great one on Tap Free today. And speaking of Taps, I got a new sponsor announcement. Three Trees Tap and Kitchen is on board with the podcast. Pretty excited about this one. They're going to be supplying growlers of beer to the podcast studio, which I'm excited about. You're going to hear about that in this episode.

And then, I mean, I went and sat down with Jim Spenrath. Is there a more down-to-earth guy? I don't know if there is. When I said, okay, well, we'll make sure we mention it this Wednesday. He goes, well, actually, we're helping the kinsmen and kinnets out and are doing their telemirical steak night. So I got off the phone with Lewis stang. The kinsman will be cooking steaks outside three trees tap and kitchen, and three trees will be packaging the steaks with a salad, potato, and dessert. The kinsman and kinnets will then deliver the meals to your door.

How do you get involved? You go, what day is it first off? Saturday, February 6th, 6 p.m. to 9 p.m. You've got to get your tickets before the end of January. Tickets are $50 for a steak dinner. Kids can get involved, $10 a kid's meal with chicken fingers and fries. Each ticket purchased includes free entry and a door prize draws and delivery of the meal directly to your door. The night doesn't end there. They're also providing a live stream entertainment that will include the music by Bud's Busted Nine Irons. See that out of 10 times fast. Live updates of silent auction items, celebrity cameos, and door prizes.

For tickets call Lewis Stang at 306, 821, 7275, or Dirtywildman at 780871, 4818. I should also give, shout out to Chris at Kudu. Lewis had asked for a barbecue. Sorry, Baker, we don't have one. So I did a couple phone calls, got Chris, they, Kudu's got one, and then proceed to hang up on them. So sorry about that, Chris. And if you're listening to this, I appreciate you helping the boys out with a barbecue.

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there is a couple spots left. Go to Shaw Newmoomop Podcast.com. Top right corner, hit the contact button. Send me your info and we'll see what we can do here to get you involved and get you a part of this team. Yeah, I'm excited. Here we go. T-Barr 1, Tale of the Tape. Originally from Prince Albert, Saskatchewan.

This first time on stage was, you. shall we say unusual, as he headlined an entire show for an hour. Since then he has acted in movies, performed in NHL dressing rooms, across college campuses in both Canada and the United States. He was named Canadian College Comedian of the Year at one point. I'm talking about Kelly Taylor. So buckle up. Here we go.

This is Kelly Taylor and welcome to the Sean Newman podcast. Welcome to the Sean Newman podcast. I'm joined today by Kelly Taylor. Sean, good to be here. Thanks for having me. Yeah, man. I'm not too. I'm not too low because you do it. You guys do it pro. I've got to start doing video in that. So what do you, do you show this on YouTube or how do you show yours? Yeah, YouTube. Plus then, plus then if you put a clip, if you say something funny, because I'm not a funny guy. If you say something funny, then I can clip it out and put it on Twitter or something that people can like it and not have to tune into a full, I don't know, depends how long we go, Kelly.

Gotcha. Okay. Yeah, there we go. I need to get in the computer side of this, the technical side. Okay, sounds good. Well, how's it going? Good. I like that. You got no front tooth like that for the show too. I like that. The hockey teeth, right off, and slugging a beer. This is great. I like it. Listen, I got three kids. I'm about to say four and under, but he's closing in on five and under. The oldest is four and a half. Turns five in April. The Daughters 3, the newest one is one, right? It's a busy house. This studio is not in the house. That is another smart move you should make because when I get here, it's quiet for myself

a Sasparilla, sit down, enjoy a chat. It's perfect. Look at you. Smart. Yeah, I usually do things at my parents, but I just went down to the basement in it. At least it's, I like how you did it at bedtime, we try to get the one kid to bed. So this is good. I'm out.

I'm not taking care of that. I got a football game on in the background here. So this is nice. Yeah, it's smart. Almost like, that's how my God is my stand-up career. It was like literally almost the same thing. I use stand-up as an excuse to go out and drink, but she's pregnant. She's like, oh, I, if I can't drink and that, like, you shouldn't be.

And I'm like, oh, babe, I'm going to chase this dream. So this is perfect. We just keep figuring it out, guys, smart move. Well, I got a know. I'm originally from home in Saskatchewan. I've been told that Redden. Right. That's correct.

Bartlett. Oh, and wait, too, yeah. That is correct. Oh, yeah, there we go. I see. There's the jersey right there, yeah. Have you performed in Helmont? Yes, at the,

it's like literally, is it a rate payers or something like that? Like something for the RM and you do these things. And I think you have to be 75 and up to get into these functions. It's 75 and up. It's stipend. Styrofoam mini coffee cups. I don't even know if they serve booze at it. And it's literally, the people are ancient,

but it's like, oh, man, whatever. If I can't get away with telling these ag people jokes, then there's not a lot of hope for other comics. So I just keep it squeaky clean and just do some SaaS stuff. And you know you're not going to get a huge laugh because I think their level of laughter. It's almost like little headnought. It prepped me for Zoom gigs.

But yes, I did do Hillmont. I remember pulling in there, a small little community hall. You're making us sound all right. I like it. You can keep talking about Helmon that way. You didn't mention the dogs and the cats, and that was pretty much the town.

So I'm happy about that. I only saw that hall they had. I don't even know if there was a town there. You didn't even go to the rink, eh? They got to take you to the rink. The rink's the best building in the place, obviously. Small town's asked. Yeah, well, it was summer,

but so I would just saw, I've been in a lot of rinks, actually. So I don't know why a lot of people do that too. I do a lot of small towns and they're like, yeah, you can come to your rink. I was like, okay. And rinks are always so creepy at that time too. But I was like, the smell is always the same. You're like, oh, whatever, love it. Let's do it.

Does the name Dwayne Perlant ring a bell for you then? Is that a guy, you know? I know that name sounds very familiar. He played a stint, a very small stint. He was a backup goalie for PA back in the day. day back when uh i think hartnell would have been there and i want to well mackintyre knew who he was so right in that time frame steve mackinty and now those days see and that that uh hartnall era is right when uh so i would have followed the raiders my like my whole childhood and then i went to university

like so right when hartnell got here i went to university so it's like the first time the raiders weren't my main entertainment now uh the sutherland the pat and the double deuce for my main source of entertainment. So those are my follow-out years. I've not seen a lot of Raider Hawk. You know, come home at Christmas see a little bit, and that was about it for that era.

Speaking of, well, on a side note, the reason I bring up Dwayne Perlin is I've heard this story about you being on stage in Helmand, and in-walks this guy in shorts and flip-flops, he's bigger, he's larger than life, because Dwayne is a big man. And you're in the middle of a joke, and you stop, and you're like,

Dwayne? And he's like, eh? And it's Dwayne Barlett. And you're like, what the hell are you doing here? He's like, man, it's my hometown. And he's like, all right, then. And you carried on. Okay. This is bad memory. Like, I remember driving in the Hillmont, like the venue, but I couldn't remember. Hey, listen. This is an old wives tale I've been told about you. And I was like, well, there's only one way to go in head first and we'll see what happens. Oh, there we go. Melton head I got it right now. There's so many different things when I'll do a show and people like, remember he did it?

And I was like, no, I don't. Because you just do so many shows, you're like, I don't know. And sometimes that's for some of my best jokes have been born out of. Someone's like, hey, I love my favorite joke here is then they'll say something. And it's not even a joke. Like, it's just a one off out and did that one night. And I was like, oh, my God, okay, I got to talk about that thing again. And then you kind of build on things like that.

because I'm so bad at not writing things and kind of just going in the moment, and then I'll just use them and they're gone, which if I was very professional, I would record every show. Like, I think Jim Gaffigan records every show and listens to himself, everything goes through it. Like, man, like just a workhorse. Whereas if I listen to myself, I want to quit immediately. Like anything I've been on TV, anything on the radio I've ever recorded, I cannot listen to it because I just hate it. So, and actually then it works all good for me because I don't have to do all that extra work. through my set and fine-tuning it.

So I like to keep it rough. So that's why you never did Jimmy Kimmel then? Is because he didn't like listening to yourself? Could not. We went right from Montreal, straight to New York, and he wanted this certain set where I did this fish bit. And I remember the night I was recording, I was like, well, this one, because you can tell what crowds are like.

And I was like, and that's a very high energy bit. And the crowd was kind of like, you know, like a Wednesday crowd. and they were kind of like, they weren't that rowdy. So it was like, it feels like I'm forcing this. And I remember doing it right after I finished. Like, oh, we're not sending that video. And then went to another one. And then it's hard to get stage time in New York.

You're not going to get good stages. So now it's all these weird shows. We're just some comics in there. So I didn't like those. And then even when I came back to Canada, I was always doing like, I was never doing a lot of clubs. It was always weird gigs maybe in a hall of this.

So I never really recorded. And then if I did, I wouldn't like it. And I just never sent them the video. So I had Kimmel booked. We had it locked and loaded. and they just wanted to confirm it with the video of that bit, and I never sent it. And that's the biggest regret and the really only regret, I guess I haven't.

Well, no, I'm not sure there's more regrets down there, but that's number one. Like, that's annoyed, right? I just started comedy. Could I have kibble right off the hop? And it took, I think, like, maybe 10 years, 15 years later until a Canadian did kimmel. And I was like, oh, my God. I could have came out of the gates right hot, got it, and who know, but whatever. You know, I'm having a good time here at Sask anyways.

So it worked out for the best. Maybe I would have been an alcoholic in L.A. burnt up and dead in a ditch somewhere. So I'm going to count it as a blasted in disguise. That's what I'm doing. You're trying to look at the glass half full. Yes. That's what you're trying to do there.

Mm-hmm. You grew up a PA. Yeah. Youngest of five? Yes, sir. Man, it's probably where it comes from. Like, even right now, so I've got four. And my youngest, his volume is at like max 10 all the time.

And as soon as anyone talks, he just, it's, he just gets right in the middle of it and he's just yelling. I was like, I think that must have been the way I was. Like, uh, my dad was funny. My brothers are funny. But then the last one, I guess, got to be the loudest one. Try to show, show them what you, what you can do, I guess. My siblings are laughing right now because I'm the youngest of five. I've been known to be, uh, I've been known to be a little talk.

shall we say well we gotta be man there's uh no one wants to listen no one wants to listen to the last one they're annoyed like now that I see the dynamic of how it works you're the weakest link in the chain like so you wreck it for almost everyone like you got to lead places early because of that thing you can't go maybe you can't go fishing because of this guy he'll get tired in the boat like even today we took a mice fishing he was a an absolute

dud he was brutal and and and I felt like I felt like a loser because I brought an iPad because you're like, oh, get the kids out in the fresh air. And I was like, whatever. My kids are outside all the time. I could care less. I stuck him in the, he didn't really step out of the halftime. Like, he just in there watching Cobra Kai. So I was like, whatever.

Who cares? Is that good? It's so, it's beyond cheesy. But then it reminds you of your childhood because you get to see, like, the old sensee there or the bad guy. But the bad guy, now you like the bad guy. And the karate kid is just annoying. So you like the old bad guy

Because he's creepy and creepy and cheesy And there's no better thing than a creep ball cheesy guy And he's always slugging banquet So I don't know You end up liking the bad guy from the original karate kid I don't know man I've seen a couple of you Tweet about it that you're watching it

And all I see is the original karate kid And even back in the movie you're like rooting for them But you kind of wish they you know casted somebody else. And now as an older guy, I'm like, I don't know. I don't know if I could hit that guy. He's almost unwatchable.

Like, it's annoying. Like, it feels like you watch it a soap opera, but you're like, this is terrible. But at least it's the only show I could mildly stomach with my kids. Like usually it's just, they just watch shit. Like, it's just,

you don't even, except my one kid's right into nature. And then the other one will be hockey. The 14 year old will watch the hockey with me. Then the other one of nature. But the seven-year-old, it's just, YouTube junk and all this other crap.

So I will watch that one, but it's the Danny LaRousseau guy. It's like full house. It's painful. You can't watch it. But the old sense is such an old boozebag and weird and creepy. I got a kick up. But it's one of the ones I can't watch anymore. Like it's just, I was like three or four episodes.

I was like, okay, guys, that's it for me. Like, Dad, you're going to fall behind. That's good. That's fine. Go ahead on Cobra Kai without me, guys. Can't do it. Yeah. I'm really missing out, guys.

Yeah. What, during COVID, man, it's like, it's kind of crazy to think about. We're closing in on a year, man, of being COVID lockdown, tightened up. Have you, did you want, this is a dumb question because it's probably been talked about a thousand times, but I assume you watched the last dance. Oh, yeah, that was great. And like I said, the things I watch with my 14-year-old. is sports.

So he watched with me. And that one, you know when you watch some sports with your kids? And I remember, like, I grew up watching the Oilers and you'd watch Gretzky,

Messier, and then they'd show you an old clip of like, here was the best. Like, and then you watch these old guys. Like, they can barely skate.

They're even having to have a helmet. They're not even bending their knees. So then now I watch hockey with my boy. And then, like, I'll, like, I was like, I liked Messier and the Oilers. And I show him this old clip. And he's like,

look how bad they are. And I wonder why Gretzky scores his goal. He's like, They're pure dusters, the goalies. They don't even go down. And so he beaks it like that. But the thing with the last dance, it feels like it transferred real good. Like, good basketball was almost the same.

Like, it just, it was unreal. And then just to see the competitive side of that. And then my boy is like that. Like, he's insanely competitive. So it was cool to watch. Like, I remember all those series. And then there's so much background into it that you don't realize. Like, I remember saying, did Michael Jordan get ripped?

Like, why is he so. rip now. Like, I didn't know what he said in the offseason, like, enough enough of the Detroit Pistons, like manhandling a guy like that. So he just goes out and gets absolutely jacked to deal with the Detroit Pistons and the guys just beyond competitive. Like, it was, it was so fun to watch some of that competitive that can't sit down. But even before the games, like, playing quarter games with that creepy blonde-haired guy with that little Larry Bird mustache or whatever. Like, and he wins, like, the NBA title and he's like, we still got Tamp. for a round of golf.

And then you start hearing all these back stories of guys talking about Jordan and his gambling. But his gambling was all because of how competitive he is. Like the guy, you can't turn off. And I love competitive people like that. So it was like, and they released it once a week, right? So you just get once a week. And then they did, they relate two episodes. So it's just like, boom, boom.

And you're like, oh, I cannot wait for next week. So it's like, here we go. Monday. Let's do it again. Yeah, I love that one. That's probably the favorite thing we watched. And like together, let's do this. It was, I loved it.

Well, I got to, I had MacArthur on. He's hometown boy here. And he got to golf with them. Well, they're not living there anymore. He was living just south of where Jordan's course was. And he talked about being in the stalls. And it was like, man, it was stupid, like Brady, Jordan, MacArthur kind of thing.

They used to bug him about all the time about, thought this is where the pro athletes sat, right? But he golfed with them all the time, and they golfed. He said, I think it was 36 holes a day, five days a week. That's what they did. And they bet every single time. And Clark was saying when his dad went down and was riding caddy for him, he'd be betting Jordan on every hole.

And he'd be just at him. Like, Jordan just doesn't know how to shut it off, which is like still cool to hear. oh yeah i imagine man like you can't stop competitiveness like and that's why he probably galls because it's right there they there's still a competitive edge where you still want to go out and do something at 36 a day man like what a what a life that's great what did he at why why are this it looks like you might have gone into the booze now everyone watching the last dad's like why are michael jordan's eyes so yellow

take a day off bud holy smokes and then he did it's a big drink or then you're like is he a big drink than you just see that coffee's drinking every once in a while. I think he might be indulging now. Well, the man is worth more than money itself. Like, so what does he do? He golfs. Everywhere he goes, he gets comped everything. So I don't know.

I mean, how do you turn that off? Yeah. And the one guy who doesn't need to be comped, hey? The guy's making $1,000 per minute. And he's like, yeah, we'll get that for free. Oh, okay. Man, what a life. Just golf, do whatever you want, huh?

Good for him. I guess that's what you get when you're the best in the world at a sport. Forget if it's Lamborghinis or Ferraris. I'll have to go back and listen, but he shows up in a new one all the time. And one time, the best story I've heard is he showed up in a Pocodot Ferrari. And somebody went, why Pokedat? Because I can and just kept walking. You're like, yeah, all right, fair, fair.

Why not? Who's going to beat you? Now the other people are probably getting polka-dot Ferrari's because of it. Oh, probably. He probably started a trend, man. He's trend-sad. Yeah. Sadly, not everybody's running out to have missing teeth.

That isn't, I'm not sitting any trends there. What happened? How'd you miss the, is that a high stick? No, uh, uh, slap shot to the face. I've had two of them in my days. Two teeth knocked out or two slap shots of the face. Two slap shots to the face. So you got the tooth knocked out on one?

What happened to the other one? I got like four knocked out on the other one. And they've all been fixed. It's been now, it's been a long time. It's been like 15, 16 years since I had a top, a top jib. And I used to get the plates and stuff. But then, you know, you get having a good time. And then you forget where you put said plate and now you're out like four or five hundred bucks.

And you're like, well, I'm not doing that again. And then you get married. like the look too. Guys are, come on. Guys all the time are like, uh, you're not getting a tooth put back and you look way better. And I'm like, you're saying that because you know I look like a jackass, right? Like I look like a jackass. It's okay. Women are all like, you look, you know, you're such a handsome guy. If you just get a tooth put in. I'm like, I know ladies. I know. Right. I'm married. I'm good. If a guy's laughing like with no teeth, he just looks like a bigger beauty too.

Like, look at this guy. It's awesome. Yeah, every time I open my mouth, I make people smile. That is true. There you go. Perfect. You know, for a guy who was a goalie,

you come from a, well, goaltenders are a different breed. You probably heard that an awful lot. Hear that a lot all the time, all the time, for sure. Normally goalies are a little,

I don't know, introverted, at least in the guys I've met. What was different about you? What is different about you? Yeah, I was never that. And you know what? It sucked in some ways. Like I, when we hit like junior and I knew I wasn't going to play anywhere, I was like, holy shit.

But I, like, that's 90s hockey. Like literally, if you wanted to fight, you could make any team. Like any, to the junior A level, not major, major, junior, you'd have to be incredibly tough. if you're terrible player. But like, I remember there'd be guys that stick around that would just, if they fought, they could stick around and play. So I remember it pissed me off.

I was like, man, I shouldn't have been a goalie. Like, I was never an introvert. Like, I was always like a, I always wanted to fight in games, but I was, but, well, I can't fight this guy because I got all this equipment on. I can't just go skate and fight the other goalie for no reason. He'll be like, what the hell's going on? So even when I knew I'd tried out and got cut everywhere, I went through like every junior team called the coaches and they were,

They are like, oh, we're set, goalie. We're set. We're set. And Kindersly was like my last call. And I called them. And he's like, no, we're set. And I was just like, well, I'll come fight. And he's like, what?

He goes, are you, aren't you a goalie? I'm like, real bad. Like, I'll be like a extra forward. I'll just fight. And the day I don't fight, you can send me a home. And he was like, what is going on? Like, and then two of my buddies played on Kindersley at that time. and they started laughing later.

It was like Wayne LaBrie. Did you fucking call Wayne LaBrie? It offered a fight for our, like, on our team and he kind of just shut her down. But, oh, yeah, man, I wish. I wish I was never a goalie. I was never meant to be a goal. I kind of even flexible. It was just that era of, I don't know.

You win one tournament, like, win novice. Like, oh, fuck, I should be the goalie. That's what happened. And then I kept going. Like, I couldn't even touch my toes. And then that catches up. to you. At the beginning, you know, you could be good that way. Then later on, other people like, oh, look, this guy's actually an athletic in that.

I just stacked the pads. I was like, I should have been a goalie in the era of the 60s. Then I'm able to went somewhere, but otherwise, useless. I heard, I can't remember if I read this or if I heard you talk about this. Maybe both. I can't remember anymore. In preparation for this, I listened to a lot of Kelly Taylor. I read a bunch about Kelly Taylor.

I talked about you going to PA Raiders camp and you're like, you had no business being there. So you used a broken stick so that you could get a brand new stick or something along the line. No, Pat's, Pat's camp. Pat's camp. I had business being there. Yeah. So when I was, we won Bantam AAE provincials. And we had a great, great year, awesome year.

And then I was going to Regina as a 16 year old. and their coach was Norm Johnson at the time. And he called, and they had two older goalings, so they were going to get rid of one, and it looked like I was going to move in. I was a holy man. Like in my, the wheels in my head is like 16-year-old, make the W.HL.

If you're 16-year-old in the job, I was like, man, your chance to get dropped in H.L. are good. I was like, oh, my God. So I go to this camp, and he said, we're going to see what you look like through the exhibition. So I knew I was supposed to stay for exhibition. So during camp, I broke. my stick. But it was broken where it was just kind of flapping. The blade was still on. I was like,

oh, man. I was like, all I have is inner squad. And inner squad. You got three goalers on each team. You only got to play one period. I was like, I got to be able to get through a period with a broken stick because then you get a free stick because you're on the squad. Man, it was the worst. Like, what an idiot. Think of that nowadays. Like, we were just talking about this to my buddies yesterday. Like, you shit me, I let in five goals on like 11 shots. And the very last one I went to like try to play the puck. Like I tried to even hit it with the heel, hit it and just flop like that.

And I was far out like by the hash marks. I think his Rhett Gordon skates in for the blue line. It throws in the empty net. Oh, Norm Johnson came up to the first period and lost his shit on me. Like just, oh, it came in. It was quiet and I was kind of looped around the side. And I was like, oh, and everyone was talking. And it was dead silence.

I was like, oh, he's in here. and they came around the corner and he's like, look. And he's like, I remember he goes, people come here and think if they should spend their money on pat season tickets and they see horseshit like you. And they say, I should stay at home and drink beer instead of this. And that was it, man.

And then, and then so he said that after the first and after I had the meeting, and he lets me go. I was like, man, I don't know what was, that was bad. He goes, that couldn't have been any worse. I was like, yeah, he goes, okay, you know what? Go down now to AAA. play lots, get lots under you and we'll see what happens. And I went back to AAA.

And as soon as I got there, I never even had a sniff of starting. So I went from having this great year Bantam, double A to think I'm being a 16-year-old of the dub to go into AAA and not even getting a chance and just backing up there and eating shit there the whole time. That's that. And then senior hockey, it all came back and I loved it again. You know, you're 16-year-old. You're talking about making the dub.

And then you decide to use a broken twig. to get a free one and you go yeah that that just doesn't align no just uh idiot but hey you know what what happens if i had that good stick i make the team i end up playing years of in pro hockey and now i'm scrounging for a job all my friends played pro hockey and they're all working now and i'm living the life slinging jokes and bars and clubs and everywhere but a holiday for life so i'm just like not I'm getting kibbled the tape. I'm looking at the glass half full. Well, that's, that's, that's, that's fair. I'll get, I'll give you that one. Probably all your pro buddies will give you that one. But that is pretty funny. I, I got to say, you need the twig.

Now we're going to see if I can make it work for a period. It's only 20 minutes. Five, go ahead. 20 minutes, man. 20 minutes. What a loser I am. When did you, when did you, when did you get into comedy? Like, when did you know this was something you were going to take a stab at? Like, I've, like, I've, read the, I've read the article, maybe even listened to it as well. You talk about your first gig, like, you're actually the headliner for a corporate event, which is super rare. But like, when did you know, when did you know you were going to be like, yeah, I want to try this? Yeah, so the first, yeah, the first gig was, we'll pass up first gig. When I knew, uh, I was in

university and then there was, uh, they had kind of comedy at these open mic things and that. And then I went out and the first time went good and then kept going and started and you could go lots. I could say they had Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and they'd have regulars at each show. So I would write a set for that Monday crowd and then you'd run it the week and then you'd have those new, those same regulars. And then I would, I thought you'd do give them a new set each week. So it was, it was great for writing. So I started building up material real fast.

Whereas a lot of comics in big cities would have trouble getting stage time. You're just starting out where in SaaS there wasn't enough comics. So they're like, hey, man. man, can you come over the show? Like, there's barely anyone here. We need, you know, we just need guys filling in time. So you can do longer sets instead of three minutes? Like, hey, can you stretch to 20?

So now you're doing longer than you could. And then you've got to work on, like, crowd work and all this just to get material going. And then it got to the point where it was going good. And I was like, oh, man, I don't know. Like, does a guy go this one? And then it's literally like, man, you live once. I was like, if I don't go full tilt into this, then why not? I said, hockey, I end up not getting anything done.

I'm going to half as, so I'm going to put myself fully into it and then did and that was it. It went good and never looked back. But by sounds of it, by the time you're at university, you're already like, yeah, I'm going to try this. Like, I went to university. I didn't have an inkling in my body that goes, hey, we should try an open mic night. I'm not saying I wouldn't have got up there. You put enough of these beverages in me. I probably would have got up there and made an ass of myself.

I'm sure there are plenty of that do. But it wasn't even a thought. Oh no, like I was a huge Standup fan Like as soon as I turned 19 Like I could not wait Because they had standup comp Yuck Yuck used to come to the PA at that time

So I turned 19 on a Wednesday Then Thursday was the standup And when I saw stand up for the first time live I was like fuck man look at these guys I just thought what a great life These two guys would be in a car together I was like oh Just having a great time

And then come in here at night Having drinks and just telling jokes And then right when I saw that, I was like, oh, man, that looks like the greatest job in the world. It's like that's what I want to do. And I always loved stand-up. And I was always, like, when I came into a party or not, I was always the guy who was nuts anyway. And then the first few of the years of stand-up, a lot of it was bar shows, too. So it was almost, I'd get on those, their level, too.

So if there's a heavy drinking crowd, I'd get just like them, just so I would fit in. Like, I didn't write as much material. So it was almost, like, I was just a guy at the party. And then as you progress and progress, you're like, man, I got to write better stuff, maybe find to this. And then you get into like a corporate show and you're like, holy shit. They're like, can you be squeaky cleaning this? And they're like, oh, man, I got to start writing more. And that's the thing.

The more stand-up you do, you get into different situations. You're like, well, that bar stuff doesn't work here. And then you get into maybe you're in the States and like, well, that doesn't work here. And then I do use something out. Like, the more material you have, the easier it is for each show. Like I did a show with all Jewish people. manager. He was a Jewish guy at the time. He's like, you might want to leave out the camping joke and this joke. And like a Catholic joke at that point was like my big joke at that

certain time. And he looks at me and he goes, Jews don't camp. I was like, okay. I never thought of that. Okay. And you just you just keep writing and writing and the more you do it, the easier it is because you don't want to get pigeonholed in one set. At the beginning, you got to live by that one set. And you know, and it's almost like you look for that crowd. Oh, there's this type of crowd tonight, this should go good. And then the more you keep doing it after years and years, you kind of just decess the crowd. I'm like, okay, it's almost like the Terminator. You go through the things in your head, you'll probably cut that out, cut out. You can keep that, but put a different spin on that. We'll come like that. And maybe these old ladies, just the word bitch, like,

I can be squeaky clean, but there's one joke where the punchline is bitch, but I was like, even that, do I have to cut that out today? And you're like, it's a whole, a whole different thing. I don't even think that was the question, but I went somewhere else with it. That's all good. As you know, how are you enjoying podcasting? Just because the thing of what you're saying, that isn't the question. And I just think, well, that's podcasting 101. I guess I don't really, right?

Like, that's the fun of it, right? Where the rabbit hole leads at all times. And I just try and follow along. Have you been enjoying it? Yeah. And you know what? The thing that it bugs me the most is that I don't do it more, because I put it off.

It's the biggest procrastination thing of anything else. Like in stand-up, you have a set-up time. Like, hey, you've got a 7 o'clock show on Thursday and then you're 9 o'clock Friday. And you can't procrastinate. You get there and you do that. Whereas podcasting, I always look at it.

I was like, oh, what am I going to do here? What are we going to add? I don't know. And then I procrastinate. And then I was like, do I get this guest? And I was like, ah. And I just don't get it done. And I just, and then as soon as I do a podcast,

and you think, oh, is this enough questions? If fuck, man, you could have 50 questions down for someone. You get to a boat, you get to four. And that's all you really need to do. And that's what could happen here. You might have 50 and then we just do it. And as soon as I'm done the podcast, everyone I've done, as soon as I'm done, I'm like, fuck, man, that was fun.

Why do I procrastinate all the time? Why do I do that? And then I get mad at myself again. It's like, oh, I should do a podcast day. But I was like, oh, first I should go for this cross-country ski. get a little energy and then you do this. So then I always, I'm just an idiot like that, an absolute idiot. Well, I would say, you'll be happy to have your 50 questions if you ever get Grant Fear.

No slight on Grant Fear, but that guy has the shortest answers I've ever heard of my life. Just like, I was winning the Stanley Cups. Good. Did you have fun at night? Yes. Do you care to elaborate? Not really. Son of a bitch, Grant.

I'm going to go through a thousand questions here. I just need you to answer him. I just need you to give me something. Oh, he's playing with the great one like. He's the great one. That's funny. So I'm an Oilers guy. And I'm a goalie.

So my number one guy was Massey, but my goalie was fear. So then they say, and I've done a bunch of those hot stones of the husky luncheon and hockey heroes and all these other things. And you meet all these guys. And the guys you don't think you like when you're a kid watching hockey league. Chris Chelyos. What's he the biggest beauty? unbelievable great interview awesome we had supper the night before just a huge beauty and it's been

like that with all these other guys and then grant fear is by hero now we're doing one uh for the raiders and it you know what i knew so much extra stuff on him like it was like there's one guy i know everything about and then i've watched uh and then there's that making the cocoa too but yeah he was very quick and like this boom boom and didn't and didn't give up too much too but i don't some of the guys, I heard that about Messia, and I've never met Messier, but he's such a leader, like, he was such a leader that he won't give you anything up on other guys too, because you don't want to throw guys under the bus either, but he's still a leader, like, he's still, this is the team, I'm not going to fucking throw you any dirt, you greasy comic that wants to get something on his podcast.

So, I don't know, yeah, Graz was live, but yeah, he was a little extra work on him for sure. You say dirt I don't know I don't think I've had many a guy now come on and it's just whether they're willing to talk right like to me just like how was winning this like do you really got to throw any dirt on the oilers

for winning the Stanley Cups and being in there giving like man the parties were unbelievable how so just imagine winning three in a row and being 20 you know three years old and having the world at your fingertips you can you can do the imagination oh okay right like all right like Marty McSorley was on and I when he's when he does uh I've seen him live and like when he talked I worked with Marty in a small town and SaaS too yeah he tells some stories and like when he came on the podcast he was a little more engaged you know just reserved

because he knew he's being recorded but he still he still told the stories just in a way that didn't put in anybody in a bad light right like I don't know I it's just a gaffe probably more than anything. And I'm not, it's no slight on Grant. Geez, I had a Heli on and I told, I asked Heli if you're in the room was a little more talking of. And he just started laughing. He's like, and then you know, he like defended fear. And I'm like, no, I'm not trying to throw fear under the bus. I just, you know, you expect a guy. He has all the world to talk about.

He's won so much. He's played with some of the best players. He's played for Team Canada. He's just not a talkative guy. Or at least when it comes to being on a podcast, he's not a talkative guy. Yeah, those guys. And you. Some of them got to be more reserved too, just because some people will find tooth comb anything. Well, you can say something and not even really mean that. Someone just spins it like, oh, my God. Like what we're watching football.

Chris Collins were like trying to compliment those women on knowing so much about the football. Like just in saying like complimenting that like, man, you know a lot. Like it didn't mean that, oh, women don't know anything about football. But someone just spotted it. It's like, man, this guy was trying to give a compliment. Like he wasn't in any sense. You could tell he wasn't saying anything bad. We're like, oh, man.

No wonder why people don't want to talk half the time like that. You get your words spun around. It's, uh, it's strange times right now. Like, strange, beyond strange times, right? Yep, it sure is. And those guys were in the air of no cell phones. Anything go, anything goes. Like, all you do is just deny it.

Even if they're like, hey, man, you were doing that. Like, nah, no, that wasn't me. You're pretty sure. I think I saw you. Now, man, that wasn't me. Ask, ask Mark. He was with me that day.

That wasn't him. Okay. So later. Different times, man. How happy are you as a kid you didn't have cell phone snapping everything you did? Oh, man. Yeah, I'm pretty happy, man.

That's like what they would go through now. It's just every, everything. You couldn't. And we did so much stupid stuff, too. like oh just so happy so happy yeah you have to deal with that that's all it is just the relief and the beauty like that's why almost i like hiking and just doing things of getting away from like as soon as you get in a bush or something there's just zero cell phone service like there done so to sight out of mind like we went the west coast trail seven days and you're you have no

phone and then because there's zero service and then as soon as we're getting off we're like looking we're like seven days and we were like like fucking did not not want to hear the cell phone beep and then have to deal back with the world again. That's a little bit different than the topic of being of recording everything, but just to get away from a phone feels so good, man, so good. Wow, I haven't done that trail. I'd like to. I understand that.

I mean, coming from a small town, I mean, you get out on the field, you get out wherever, you get out, heck. We're going to go do a little pond hockey here a couple nights down the road here. in the week got the lights set up. Just eight people on the ice. Actually, it's four people on the ice. Whatever the new rule is, that's what it's going to be. That's the number of running, man.

You see the firewood I'm going on with. We've been living outside and keeping it at 10. And then that's what you do. People come over. We've got three fire pits. You have family there, family. The whole Christmas was outside. I don't even go inside.

I'm just inside right now. I've been outside all day. We went ice fishing. and I went cross-country skiing, and then I came in and we're doing this right now. But yeah, outside, it's where it's that. Well, when it comes to young kids, especially probably high school age

through their first couple years of university, they should outlaw cell phones, man. Like, we all do stupid crap. That's what those age ranges are for. You're out there to do stupid crap. We watched yesterday. I'm waiting outside, watch practice, and I've got to wait outside for my boy to come out.

and my sister, her boy, plays the team. Look at all these young kids racing around the parking lot and in the Ardhauser Center. They're wheeling around and they're pulling the e-break at every corner and going and there was three or four cars

and they're doing it. I was like, oh my God, what are they thinking? I was like, these kids are 16 or 17. I said, I remember when we had curfew nights for AAA, you couldn't go drink or party or anything.

So all we looked for was a good stretcher road that had ice on it. And I said, that's all we'd do. We had until 10 o'clock to pull e-break. It's since you're 16 or 17. Who cares? But now you film anything, you might look like a, oh, look at these kids are so bad. We did it back road.

No one knew about it. We went home. Nothing happened. Or you found a good parking lot, and you tested out that new Mustang and seen what it could do. And we used to do figure eight after figure eight after figure eight. Thank the Lord. My parents didn't know half the crap I did. I mean, this podcast alone has probably shed light on some of the stupidity.

no idea happened. Oh, yep. That's what, yeah, my mom's like, what is that podcast that you're doing? I was like,

get out of here, mom. You can listen to the Natasha Statshevsky one that fuck off. Well, I got to tell my, my mom listens religiously,

and I got to tell her earmuffs all the time. I don't usually swear that much. No, no, no. Actually, it doesn't bother me any, but you got,

I got a warner every once in a while. You know, ear muff's mom. It's okay. It's okay. It's just a word. It's just a word. Yeah, that's right. I usually don't. I don't know why I am. Jeez, must be fired up. Well, it must be the toothless guy with a beer in his hand. I get it. You're playing to the crowd, Kelly. That's right. That's right. You're throwing me off. As I'm over here like a loser drinking a tea.

Is that what you got? Tea? Yes, yes. I clean my system out all the time usually January because I go on such a heater for the holidays. because it starts when about November 15th, you just can drink it any time. Tis the season, tis the season. Then I'm about 18 pounds heavier than January. I always say, oh, I'm cleaning the system. So I might clean the system for a while because it's COVID.

I got no work lined up. I was like, ah, I'll run with it for a while. See, and I'm the opposite. I went 45 days with no booze up until December 15th. So all of November until December 15th, we ran a 12-hour live stream radiothon here in Lloyd raising money for the Health Foundation. and since then I've been like, all right, I'm okay to have a couple beers.

I'm not going to feel bad about it. I'm not going to feel bad. And then on top of it, this is a shameless plug, but three trees, a restaurant in town, local restaurant in town, is supplying. Is that the one right by the Hampton? Yeah, I think that's the Hampton. On the west side. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, so three trees. Yeah. It used to be. Rock and Creek and Creek or is it across? I know exactly. I know the place. It's the place I go when I'm in Lloyd.

I stay at the Hampton and go to three trees. Okay, so three trees is now doing, oh, God. Growler. You got a growler there. Yeah, I do. I love it. Good.

So, there's, they're supplying the beer for the podcast. And so it's even, it's even more dangerous. I mean, got a little fourth meridian, a little local brewery in the cup.

That's another shameless plug. And, yeah, it's pretty good. Oh, you got a plug. If there's, Look at it. I'm wearing a, I'm wearing my barred t-shirt right now.

That's the first thing you got to do is get the beer, uh, Dillette's beer. Then I got my player hat up there. Always represent. That's how you make, you got it. That's how you make these podcasts work, man. Come on. Now, the first thing I did when I knew you were coming on, actually it's about the sixth thing I did, but close to the first because there was a multiple checklist I do is I texted Scotty Hartnell because I know you guys are tight. And I'm like, I want to know what I should ask Mr. Taylor about. And he said, I should ask you about sitting in Philly on a patio and whether or not that was, whether there was any laughs had on said patio.

Oh, man, that was, what a time. That whole, that whole thing was, so I went down to Philly. Scotty said, Philly got out to a one and seven start and they, he's like, fuck, man, it's bad here right now. We just need to laugh or just need to change something up. He goes, why don't you come down here and do the dressing room? I was like, dressing room. I was like, that's kind of awkward.

But I was like, oh, okay, yeah, yeah, let's do it. Well, I'm going to do anything he said anyways. I was like, yeah, let's do it. So I'm in Edmonton doing this comedy festival and I remember thinking I got this early flight to Philly. Like I got to be in the lobby at like four. And I was like, don't drink tonight. Just take the night off.

You've already drank for a few. few days of this festival. Get to Philly and you'll be, you know, you'll be fresh. I'm the last one standing at the after party. Go straight down. Like, don't even really sleep. Catch a flight to Philly. And then I was supposed to, what was that? Oh, Hartnell was going to pick me out. And then he goes, message me when you get to Minnie. So that I mess him were a mini. And he's like, hey, man, we're at the football game. I won't be able to pick you up. I'll give you a cap. or I'll tell you where to go and just grab a cab. I'm just haggard.

And I was like, oh, you're going to have to party now? No way. Brutal. So I didn't want to party. And then I landed in Philly. He's like, hey, man, we're back in my place after things. I was like, oh, perfect. Just go to his place.

But I get a cab. As soon as I get in there, the boys are having a drink. So I get right back in her. Now I'm playing catch up. We have a great time. And then we wake up through the show in the morning. So it's a morning. Like we got a morning skate.

I woke up. I thought I was still into Edmonton. I was like, oh, man, I'd do a show that morning. It's not like they got beers in the training room or anything. So usually, one, I don't usually sling jokes at 11 in the morning after their practice and that. Then two, I would usually have one or two to like try to focus. Man, when I started talking, doing comedy for the team, it felt like got marbles in my mouth. Hartnell's got his hat or his head like, what the fuck was I thinking bringing this guy down here?

He's going to choke. but then I caught Jacob Borchek picking his nose and rolling a booger and then kind of went off and show ended up going good and I was like oh now I've got second energy here we go and Hart's like what do you want man you want to take a siesta or you want to go for a drink

us now show's done we're going to Pearl Jam that night he's like buddy let's do it we went downtown Philly and this is at Hartnell's like beard hair huge man he is huge in Philly Dean or his agency. At that time, he was the number one recognizable athlete in Philly.

Like, I'm talking ahead of Michael Vick. Unreal. Everyone was walking by. Like, it was nothing but laughs. And everyone would walk in by. We were like, oh, Scott, I'm going on, blah, blah, blah. Like, everyone knew them. And then these two girls behind us kind of pop their head up.

And she's like, excuse me, who are you and why are you such a big deal? They had nothing but laughs. And then we go to the game and we jump this fence. and people are tailgating, not the game, the concert. People are tailgating. And now Hartnell's coveted to his own rank. And he's like, hey, you got a beer in there? And the guy's like, well, what I do for Scotty Hartnall?

He tosses me in hearts of beer. And then we walked into like, is it the Wells Fargo? Is that what their ranks call or what the hell they called? I. Whatever their rank is. Yeah. Like splitting the Red Sea, walking with hearts down there, Matt. Just everyone.

I'm like, wow, Scotty Harko! And he loves it. He's so good with everyone. He's a perfect guy for that, too. Just the biggest beauty just walking through. He was awesome. Always says, every time. Try to not have a good time with that guy.

You're dead. Oh, man. When did you first get hooked up with Scottie? Was it PA then? Nope. And that's what people just assumed because he played in PA. He was his golf tournament. The one in Lloyd.

The one in Lloyd. That one was MacArthur, Holby, and Hartnell was that one. And then, yeah, I just knew so many hockey guys in there. And it would have been a tough, it is kind of a tough gig because it was so busy and it was so hard to get people's attention. But, like, I knew enough on each guy in there. So, like, the one comic went on, and he's such a good comic. But he's a hockey fan of that, but he might not look at a guy and know who that is

and no inside stop. Like Mike Sillinger sit in front row when I went to walk on stage and right there it was like, oh boom, like Mike Cilner's playing

on 12 NHL teams. I was like, oh my God, look Mike Cylinder here. You've been throwing on more deals than a spray on bedlander at Jubilee Ford. So then right there guys,

like the hockey mentality, like, you know, chirping guy. They like that. So that's what hockey is. So then I go around the horn and kind of just start yapping off at each guy

and then made a joke about Colby Armstrong was there and how Armstrong, he used to come to shows what I was, doing him in Saskatoon when he was playing on the thrashers and uh and then or he he he he i got to know he was in pittsburg at that point and i was doing lots of colleges after that and i was going down to pennsylvania and he would give me tickets i was like just uh if you guys could just be like

colby armstrong and give me your cell numbers for tickets that'd be great and then as soon as the show finished hard and he'll grab my phone and threw it the next guy to mark arthur got the next guy down they all just put their numbers in there if you ever need tickets yep no problem buddy it's like and that's kind of like we're all my hockey gigs kind of uh started was from Hartnell's golf tournament and Lloyd. How did they get you to Lloyd? Like, were you just, did you get signed up for that? No, it was the other comic.

And he got asked, and we were doing a comedy festival in Saskatoon. And it was a Tuesday. And he offered me, he goes, hey, man, you want to take this money? He goes, I think I screwed up on the budget. Because it was a Tuesday in July or, yeah, Tuesday in July, which is, July is notoriously a slow month for comedians. and a Tuesday gig, like, holy shit, Tuesday gigs are almost non-existent. So he undercut what he would have said.

He's like, oh, man, I went dirt cheap. And then I found out it's like this big hockey fudge shit. He goes, I'll split it with you. So I remember the money being like not good. But I was like, oh, yeah, sure, man. I got nothing to do. We'll jet up there together. It's a golf tournament.

Let's do it. And I did it. Then after the next year, they're like, hey, we want you back. And then they said they want me back. I was like, okay, but it ain't for that money you had last year. I'll tell you that right now. That was a, that was a, get my foot in the door.

Let's, let's crack that price up now. And it went just from, just like that. You don't send the tape to Kimmel. You use a broken hockey twig and your tryouts. Those are coming some of the poor ones, but going to Lloyd for free.

That was a smart decision. Oh, no, no, not free, not free. 375. He, he, a guy put it down at 750.

I think they had Ricky, do they have something off the trailer park. I think they had Randy and Lundie and Ler Layhe or something. So Randy and Leahy wouldn't be cheap. That was their common entertainment of the year before or something. And they had the trues were there when we were there. So it was like, man, they had a budget. He's like, we screwed up. 750 was the wrong budget for that one. But then we split it. So it was 375. I wouldn't be doing 375 as old school bar money at the beginning. How much did you make on your first, well, you're saying 3.7, what was your first gig? How much do you make on your

first gig. The first one was the, and you can, comics can start off and you can be an open mic, or there's nothing that says you're going to climb a ladder. Like, comics will, they can be doing comedy for five years before they get a sniff. Like maybe you, and I, I'm so glad, because comedy is hard enough. Can you imagine slinging jokes and not doing well on fighting for stage time and never getting paid? So there's a lot like that, and then there's some that climb a certain different way, but, uh, my first one was that corporate game. which, so I had no clue how to start a comedy. Like, I didn't know you had to start where you start.

You start an open mic and get three to five minutes. Then you build and you build and you build. I just told my mom I wanted to be a comedian, but I had no idea how to do it. Like I didn't, I wasn't in a big city. I had no one to talk to, have asked the question. So when my mom came up to me and she worked at the bank, she's like, hey, Kelly,

the bank is thinking of having a comedian for our Christmas party, which is when comics, that's what all the clean comics come out that have been doing it for, at least 10 years and, you know, they're very professional and good. And I was like, and I remember in my head, I'm like 20, 21. And I was like, well, that doesn't, in my head, I was like, that doesn't sound like that would be my crowd. Like I, even though I'd never done common, they didn't know that I would need a certain type of crowd. I was like, that doesn't sound good.

But then in my head, I was like, well, no one's asking me to do stand-up. Like, who's going to ask you to be hiring to do stand-up if you don't do it all the time and be a comic? Like, I just thought that's how you start. People call you. It was like, well, I was like, whatever, I'll take it. And she's like, okay, how much do you want. want and I was like, how much they want? I don't know, like, this is a hundred. Can I get $100? And she's like, she goes back, oh, yeah, $100.

Like, can you imagine $100 for a comic for a corporate function? So I signed up and was like, how long do they want? And she said, I don't know what to get an hour work. And I had no clue. I had no idea how long a comic supposed to start with. And I was like, okay, yeah, I'll try. Yeah, so I, like my first gig ever, which in any comic in the history of stand-up comedy, like, I don't think any comics ever went out.

It's like, yeah, I'll, my first said, how long you do? I did an hour. So I just, I had like a bunch of stories and then, you know, I get a few drinks and you just start like being ridiculous. And I was like, at the end of the day, the gig didn't actually go that bad. I've had a million gigs go a lot worse than that one. So, oh, man. What did your, what did your mom say about it?

She says you were good? Yeah, she didn't mind it at all. I wasn't, I wasn't overly dirty, I guess, in that one because I wasn't, I knew it. which he said in the bank. I just pictured old ladies in a teller, which was probably a smart move by me. But I didn't, and my mom's in the crowd.

Like, if my mom comes to a show, she'll ask what kind of show I'm doing. And then she loves it. And I was like, oh, yeah, and I'll tell my mom's like, yeah, come to this one. And then there's ones that'll just be squeaky clean,

no swearing. And she loves almost hearing it because a lot of my stuff is very real. She's like, oh, yeah, that's your brother. That's how he acts, yeah. That's that story of you burning that tear at the beach. Yeah, that's a true story. And she just sits like, yeah,

I was there for that one. Mm-hmm. Yeah. So, yeah, an hour for $100 off the hop. That's ridiculous. Side note, what's the score in the football game? 28-0-0-0-0. Cleveland is going to town.

I'm not even a huge, like I like watching football, but some guys, like Sunday, that's my day. It's like, man, I used to pre-COVID. I'd work every weekend, and I would come home. I can't imagine being gone every day. coming home with four kids like no sunday's dad's day get out of my hair i know i've been on the road for three days so as much as i would like to get into football i uh i i would catch maybe two games a year and i appreciate when i watch them but besides that uh i usually background and i'm

cooking doing something playing with the kids i never get to sit down and watch a game on a sunday you kid me uh that that's fair uh i'm in the same boat i although i did uh make the kids watch a lot of world juniors. And there was no, there was no qualms over. I was like, we're watching this. My kids are all,

all into it. Like, that's even the 10-year-old will sit and watch it. The 7-year-old, I don't know, he's a fan of attention. It's so terrible. But, yeah,

World Juniors is the best. Wife sits down for World Junior. Daughter sits down for World Juniors. Everyone does. That's because it's the best. It is the best. That finals game. I know we didn't get the result we wanted, but that finals game, minus maybe the first period because Canada was getting thumped on.

But even that, that finals game is someone like the best hockey you will ever watch, especially when it's Canada and the States. Yeah. And I don't know. I hate losing to the States. Hate it. It bugs me because I think they, I don't know if it's more than Russia or it's something to do with, they already think they're the best that everything anyways. and then it's almost like they're like, hey, Canada, and we're better at your game. Like, just like, oh, you bastards, quick. Like, man, like, it drives me nuts, but whatever, man, they, they, they, the Americans did play great, and they got those two top lines. When those top lines are running at the one point where in Canada looked so dominant,

and me and my boy looked at each other's like, fuck man, right when they scored and they they hand Canada in for a while, like Canada can't even get it out of their end right now. It's like, boom. You're like, hey, yeah, we're in tight air. Well, I graduated or went to school in Ashland, Wisconsin. And the guy who texts me, not five seconds after the Americans won, is from there. And he's got a brewery with his dad. So I'm sporting them, and I don't know why, because he's a jackass.

And he's probably listening to this right now. So shout out to you, Blanche, because as soon as they lost, he's like, how about those Canadians, eh? No, like, fuck you. Hey, what's the name of the college? Northling College, Division 3 hockey. But I did every college there was in Wisconsin, every college

there is in Wisconsin I've performed at. I was doing two a days in Wisconsin. I would do nooners at night because I did American colleges for nine years and then this like my listen to this is a joke. My agent goes, they

tried to build me like because they would do certain regions and the north East Park. You get like Wisconsin, I had Michigan, Iowa, Pennsylvania. I got, I got so many bookings. My agent tried to bill me as a former professional hockey player. I was like, whoa. I go, no, I didn't play pro hockey. You can't say that. She's like, I thought you said you got paid $100 a game. I said, no, that's senior hockey. Like I played senior hockey and you got $100 the game. And she was looking at me and she's like, Kelly, if you're getting, sorry to break it to you, if you're getting paid to play hockey,

you're a professional. And I was like, holy shit, if my friends heard this and see this on a billboard, they would lose their minds speaking me right now. Former professional hockey player turned comic, that is a huge joke in its own right. But they always played this angle of like me being a hockey player.

And then there's this Pete Holmes. He has a show on HBO called Crashing. It's hilarious. And he plays himself. and Pete was on my roster for his Auburn Moon Agency and he does an episode in this thing of NACA is actually what these showcases are called and it's dead on. You go in and you're squeaky clean to these university students

because they get offended by a lot of things. And in Americans, I did Canadian colleges for one year. Greatest time, man, party, drank, great times. Went to the Americans circuit. It was you're the, you were like, the other, they're trying to get the non-drinkers. Like they're trying to get people to not drink the company because the drinking age is 21 anyways.

So it's almost like I wrote this new nerd hour, but they do this thing. The agent will sit you down like, don't do this, don't do that. They'll get offended by this. And then they're like, do your hockey stuff, do your hockey stuff, especially when I got into that region in Wisconsin, Michigan. And I think I booked every college there was, man. I was everywhere in Wisconsin. Great state.

I love the Wisconsin people, too. It was great. Lots of beers, too. Pubs on every corner. Wisconsin is as close to Saskatchewan as you'll find in the United States. Yeah. They love their hunting. They're fishing. Instead of hockey, they're football, right? Like, I mean, they love the Packers. And it has got to be the only place.

I want you to think about this. On Tuesday nights, $5 all you could drink draft beer. Like five box. And then we went on a road trip down to Milwaukee one night. One stretch on days off from school or whatever. I can't even remember now. But it doesn't matter. We went to a brewer's game.

And that night we ended up at this bar on the middle of the week, call it a Wednesday. And it was dollar anythings. Dollar anythings. Yeah. Oh, yeah. I've been to dollar anythings. And I'll do one more.

When the Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl, that would have been 2,000, oh crap, NFL fans are going to hate me. It doesn't matter. We went to the neighborly pub in Ashland, paid $20 to get in, got you a wristband. You could drink as much as you wanted. Got you dinner and supper. Dinner?

You mean like lunch? Like lunch and supper? Lunch and dinner. Because I don't do your supper anyways. Yeah, whatever. Sorry, sorry. Sorry, you get lunch and and supper, dinner, whatever we're calling it. And there were old, and the age demographic in the bar was awesome too, because it was like, there was underageers in there.

So there was like 18 year olds who couldn't drink all the way up to like probably 75 year olds. And the 75 year olds were buying coronas by the bucket, which I was just like, just get a wristband. You can have as many buckets as you want. I don't understand. Right. And then when they won, those seven year olds partied like, something. something probably I just can't even like put it into words like I assume if the oilers win the Stanley Cup and I'm 70 I'm going to be partying with the youngans and being like this was

amazing right yeah that's how it was in Green Bay it was unbelievable so they they love their football they love their hunting they're fishing their outdoors and they're drinking man can they put back the liquor yeah great love it like you said great ballpark Miller ballpark oh Miller parks great they tailgate and you can drink your beer right until you walk in and it's like you know usually like you gotta hide you can't drink certain ones I got and I was like nope drink it great finish that up come in speak hey okay Wisconsin River Falls is there River Falls yeah absolutely yeah so they have they have a they're playing their rivalry one night and they wanted me to do a teaser because I was on after the hockey game back at the university and it was called blackout night and I was like

oh, where I come from, Blackout Night meets something else. So it started out with, and this is like, people like, what's the weirdest gig you've ever done, like, somewhere? They wanted me to go on the ice and at intermission and do like, you know, three to five minutes of material. I was like, okay, a little awkward, but whatever. And then it went to like, hey, do you want to wear some skates and skate around? And tell some jokes.

And I was like, well, now this is just getting, this is ridiculous. Why wouldn't I? So now I get a story out of it. And then, like, as I'm sitting there, they come back, like, hey, Kelly, you're being a really good sport. You can feel free to say no. But what if we put you in the Zamboni? Like, we'll clean out all the snow up top and then we'll stop at center ice. And then, you know, it stops and it goes like that.

And the front comes up. And I split out on my skates and then skated around and told jokes. It was ridiculous. But it was like, who the hell hides in a Zamboni? He stops and center ice pops out and slinks of jokes. But I think there's a few people in the crowd. Like, what is going? That was my teaser for my show that night,

that I had to go perform later at university. Oh, man, the stuff I do. I'm a push over for anything. People are like, yeah, oh, you're a good sport. Whatever, whatever. Whatever. Yeah. I had a good friend of ours played for River Falls.

We got absolutely pumped by River Falls. You bring them back some bad memories. They were the- A rivalry beat show. I remember there's a shit. My wife is from Minneapolis. She knows all. She would know exactly who would be and I can't.

I don't know. I remember having the t-shirt forever. I got a River Falls T-shirt at home. My agent for colleges threw in for some weird reason in the rider, a hooded sweater, which is a bunny hug to me, which I ended up getting the bunny hug joke in each time

because I was looking for material. when I had to write my new nerd hour material in the U.S. So I ended up, I left my first college gig. We ended up being the number one book guy at the first two NACAs. So I was gone. I left October 22nd and got home December 23rd. You should have seen my trunk of my car with bunny hugs, man. It was just ridiculous.

I came home at Christmas and just through, and who doesn't like getting a bunny hug? So everyone I came at Christmas, I just had a pile of bunny hugs on the floor. Like help yourself, guys. Merry Christmas. Grab everyone gets a bunny hug. What's the one you kept?

It was a nice embroidered one that had a hockey skate lace up through here. I ended up there keeping man. No, I didn't keep one. I kept about five because I had so many. I remember Cabri. I don't know where Cabriel was. I might have been in Pennsylvania. I had a river five.

Something from North Dakota was a nice one, but I don't know. I had a Green Bay one. I remember keeping. Green Bay just because it was Green Bay. And I was like, I got to keep this Green Bay. Have you been to Lambeau Field? There's that hotel. I stayed in that hotel across the road, which is beyond disgusting, man.

Like, they don't even clean the party out. No one stays. I don't even think anyone stays there when it's not like a Green Bay Packer game. And I stayed there. It's probably 200 bucks a night or 300 bucks a night when a Green Bay game. It's like, I think it's like $49 any other off night. There was chips and beer cans and everything. They didn't even clean the.

room. It was like under the bed and just to the side of the counter. It was disgusting. But I was like, ah, I don't care. I stay in so many bad hotels. It doesn't phase me at all. You're bringing up memories because I've stayed in that hotel. I've got locked out of my hotel room in my boxers in that hotel. We went to a Green Bay Packer game, right? And tied it on, came back, fell asleep, woke up in the middle of the night, I had to go to the bathroom, right? So I walk over to the door, opening up. And I'm doing that thing where you're like,

your eyes aren't really open. Plus, I mean, probably three sheets, the wind still. And I open up the door and it closes behind me and the lights are on. And I'll send I let out and I'm in the hallway. And I've just locked myself out of the room. Nobody will answer the door. So I had to go down to the front desk at probably three in the morning in my boxers and be like,

I don't know how to say this. I locked myself out of the room. I'm sure they're like, you're an idiot. Here's a card. Made the shame walk back to my room, swipe it so I could get back in. Oh, yep. Who hasn't been there? I got, oh, look at one of a guy getting Buck naked doing that.

Then he went into like a floor where they were doing construction. And because he panicked. I can't go down Buck. And then he ended up sleeping cops game. Long story. But yeah, who hasn't? You get in one and then you take the wrong. doorway. Whoops a daisy.

Wops a daisy. Yeah, that's one way to put it. Yeah, just whoops a daisy. Whoops. Those front desk ladies have seen it all. They know. Look at this again. Guys doing that. Yep. You think that happens on the regular? Oh, Scott. For sure, man. For sure. Because a hotel, everyone's, when you're in a hotel, everyone's drinking

full till. Well, not everyone all the time. But I mean, there's a lot of people that get at it, especially on the road. So you get more than what you would do at home. And then you get at it, all at it. And that's the thing. You're not familiar with where you're sleeping. So it's not like, you know, your own house. You just, I'm going straight to there.

You just, you wake up, where am I half the time? And then you feel the door. You're like, here we go. And no, this isn't it. And that just shut. And knowing, it's not like you're going to bring your hotel key with you. You don't even know where you are when you're going to take a piss during the night. So it's going to happen more than you'd think for sure.

I'd love to take a poll and ask like 10 hotels, their front desk ladies who work nights, how often that happens. Oh, especially that hotel you're talking about, party hotel, Green Bay, for sure. Yeah, yeah, for sure. Like, you're the fourth guy tonight. There's three other guys in the elevator at that time. Lock yourself out of the hotel, dude. Yep.

Son of that. No, man, I just, it's a thing I do. I'm coming in my boxers, they just give you the key. That's what I'm going to start doing. I'll be so broke after COVID. I'm going to start rolling at hotels in my boxing. I locked myself out. What room?

I forget just, you're going to tailor out there? No, Lois Smith. You know, you've mentioned a couple of places on ice, the dressing room with the flyers. What is the strangest place you've performed in Saskatchewan? I feel there has to be some hole in. the wall that you're like, you want me to do what now? All right. Let's let's fire it up, I guess. Holy, oh, man, strange. Oh, man, I've done so many. I, oh, strangest? Hi. That's the thing. Like, they, because Saskatchewans on like New York or L.A.

where you have proper venues for stand-up. So, like, some of the places are so strange, it doesn't even phase me. I'm just like, yeah, I'll do it right there. Palettes have been a stage like more than a lot. And then melt cartons with a piece of plywood and things just right there. Because people just think you don't need a setup.

Like people like, you get nervous. Like I don't really as much get nervous as I'll get to a show and it's set up poorly. And then I'll be like, well, this is reeking for failure. Like I went to one where there was no lights and they had me behind the buffet and they thought it was

it was quiet enough or they thought it was a small enough group that I wouldn't need a sound system so one I was behind a buffet table two I was in the dark three I had I had no sound system and they thought that was that was fine small group should be fine I was like no it's just that's just that's brutal uh oh man like I did my I did my pasture this summer COVID so we did a drive-in so now I'm just in my field I never thought what I bought by acreage I'd be slinging jokes and once again on six pallets and a piece of plywood. Yeah, like that's what it was. But I think half the shows I do are building the stage as I get there or something like

that. So, oh, I, to say the strangest, like even, strangest have really probably be coming out of a Zamboni at the middle of Center Ice in Wisconsin, but that's not Saskatchewan. So wait, like we said, Wisconsin, close enough to Saskatchewan, so I'm counting it. Yeah, I would agree. I would agree. As we get close here. I know I'm keeping you. It's been over an hour and I hate to go too far past, but I asked this to Paul Meyerhawk. He was a comedian on a couple weeks ago. Oh, beauty. Love Paul Beyerhawk. Yeah, he did it from France under house lockdown. They got 8 o'clock curfee over there. Oh yeah. Huge. Beard love him. He does an impression of me at

at the comedy club in Winnipeg rumors, they do, they'll do a plug for the next comic coming in. So Paul was the week before me, so he did impersonation of me. And then I sent it out, like, and then they, rumors posted,

and then my friends and everyone saw it, and they're just dying, laughing. The radio station of PA picked it up. And I was like, really? That's how I sound. As soon as people, every time people hear me talk, like, you should try out for Lederk candy.

You should try. I was like, at least those guys are acting. I'd come in. at least I wouldn't have to act. I'm just that idiot. But sorry, go on. Yeah, Meyerhawks, big beauty. Love him.

He was. He was a lot of fun. And like I say, he did it from France, which made it even better. He had me day drinking at noon on a Sunday. That's why this started. I showed up at noon, and he was already cracking a beer.

And I'm like, we're cracking beers. And he's like, well, yeah, I'm under house. Like, we're locked down here. 8 o'clock, got to be in the house, can't do anything. So we're having a beer. I'm like, all right, well, have a beer. I'm not going to, I'm not going to say no. So away we went.

But I asked him at what point he thought he made it. Because like being a comic, you've said a lot. It's like you can work a lot of years and never get your shot, never, you know, I don't know, like make it to maybe the next level. Is there a point when you look back and you're like, yeah, right when I did this show or right when I got invited here, I knew I was on to something or maybe that I didn't have to work. anymore? You know, that's a, that's a great question in the sense of when you think you made it, it's when you didn't, like, but you're so fresh in the stand-up. So you're thinking, oh, well, when will something happen? And I remember just getting a gig in Calgary. Like I was going out of Saskatchewan and I was going to Calgary and I was like, man, I've made it. I got to Calgary.

it was just a, it was a terrible gig in a bar by the airport called Coco's. It was a bikini bar. It bad, it was far from making it. So like that was one right, like, man, I've made it. Then I look back and I was like, holy man, just because you go to Calgary doesn't mean you make it. So that's a year in the standup. And then after that, it was, uh, like then you get, uh, just for laughs. And they're like, holy shit, I made it.

And then after just for laughs, I said, my manager said, Because I was younger, and they're like, they thought the college way would be the way for me. So I did the Canadian colleges in 06. So we showcased in 05, did him in 06. And I was in Hamilton in the back. And it's a nooner. And like a nooner is the furthest thing from making it once again. But it was the first theater I'd ever done.

And I was sitting behind the drapes. And it wasn't any other comic. I wasn't opening for someone. I wasn't doing anyone. It was just me and everyone I kind of looked behind the drapes

and it got pretty busy for a noon show in hindsight I remember just thinking in Hamilton at the back of a noon show not I was like holy shit man

you're sitting behind a curtain in like a theater you've made it and then later as I go on doing comedy once again do not make it but like now at the point

of making it I don't even I think really making it or it's really being happy. Like I've spent time in L.A. And L.A. when things you think are happening, it's awesome because it's so exciting.

Like, holy shit, I'm at the place where things happen and things are actually happening. Like, I thought I had a movie. We had this going on. It's like, whew, and then it didn't happen. And now you're just in L.A. And now you're trying to get on stage and get this. I'm like, man, I got bills to pay.

Like, every day I'm losing money for my family. So then when things aren't happening, like, man, I got to get back. And then I got back and then found my own. And then people like, and I kept getting told you'll never be able to stay in Saskatchew. You'll have to move. You'll be able to make a limit.

Then I just found my own niche of maybe, you know, doing, like say you do Hartnell show and that boom, say all those guys got golf tournaments. Now I'm doing those guys golf tournaments and that one. And then I ended up getting a way of my way of making it was doing a show. Then it went good. And then it branched out to more shows. And then you go there and you have a good show and it branches out. And kind of, I didn't have a yuck yuck, I didn't have anything else.

I just did it on my own. and my making it for me would be just word of mouth like hey that was a good show get that guy and now just make it it just being busy man like i'll go to toronto go to vancouver and people like what you got this much man i don't have any work on this time i was like oh man i got i got so many shows i i i bought shows for other guys and then you're like okay maybe i maybe i've made it the sense of uh you know i don't know i don't need another job i need a job now though god damn co-vett but uh so now looking back at what thing that i've made it was just having good shows that branched off to just doing my own thing.

So I was like, ah, you know, to be a household name, I don't even know if I'd really want that. I wouldn't because I've been around comics that are household names, and it doesn't look fun. Like, I've been in shows where they don't even want to go out until, like, right before they go on. They're like being in a closet to be away from everyone, just because it's so, it's too much.

And, like, we're talking cell phones. Everyone wants that picture with you. Everyone wants this certain thing. I'm like, oh, no, okay, the picture, can't get a Snapchat, I'm just like, get this. And it's just like, guys are just sitting like, and I was like, I remember just walking off, just watched this comic from afar. I would, I would never want that. That would, that's too much, man. So making it, I guess, would be different things for different people, but I'm, uh, I'm happy where I am now.

Like, minus this COVID thing's going. I will be probably living in a van down by the river. But pre-COVID, uh, no complaints, man, no complaints. If that's the serious part of this conversation, I, I enjoy everybody. I enjoy everybody's answer to that. That's, I think that's a very well put because even if you were to make, there's only so many people who make it, make it. Like, where you can't walk down the street, make it, right? And you, you carved out, well, I'll throw a shout out to Brad Simons.

He's a buddy of mine from Helmon. He'd thrown your name out probably, God, it had to been right. I first started this, which is closing in on two years. And I remember being like, oh, yeah, yeah, I should do that. And then I just kind of, you know, whatever. But man, the longer it goes, the more your name pops up everywhere. And I'm like, oh, geez, he's like a little, uh, Saskatchewan icon, right? Like, that's what you are. I, Matt, I would take that. That's perfect. That's all I would, uh, that's all I would be. And this is, I, I'm doing this, um, Zoom thing for teachers. And they, they got these questions of like, what's it like to be a

celebrity in PA and I was like there's never been a celebrity part of PA like are you kidding me man I go everywhere and no one treats like I've never in my life of doing this you go to the rake here or anything anyone still bust your balls or anything and the and this is all all I needed in my whole life and it felt like I felt like I made it and it was the greatest thing and this is uh so I worked with rade bork uh we did a thing for hockey heroes in saskatoon we did uh another function somewhere and then I'm doing Mike Keens' kind of see camp in Winnipeg. And we're supposed to meet in the lobby. And I go down and the guy organized in it.

He's like, okay, we're going to head down. He goes, you're down a little early. He goes, Ray's down here early. He's just at the bar having a drink. He wants you over. It's like, oh, great. I was like, oh, man, work with Ray before. So I go sit over, see Ray.

Hey, Ray, Kelly Taylor, we worked at hockey. He was like, oh, yeah, yeah. So we sit there and we're having a drink. And this guy comes in. And Winnipeg is like the one city in Canada where I've worked so much. I'm the only comic that's done this, the club there. like a lot of faithful followers.

Like everyone in Winnipeg knows of rumors. And so everyone, they, like, it's always sold out. It's a busy club man. And this guy comes in and it's me and Ray Bork having a drink. He's like, hey, oh my God. Hey, sorry to bother you guys. You don't mind if I get a picture. And I was like, yeah.

And I'm ready to get this guy's cabber to take a picture with Ray Borg. Like take a picture of him with Ray Bork. He passes his phone to Ray Borg. And he puts his arm over me. He's like, man. you're my wife's favorite comedian she always tells you the joke about this and I was like oh my god now I'm just dying laughing that this guy's giving a camera to ray bork the ticket picture of me and then he leaves and I was like that so like he has he thinks I'm actually like so now ray thinks I'm famous which is

even funnier so now I'm getting the laugh at this guy giving Ray a thing I remember talk he's like you know what man he goes the bruce always do this function to have a comic he goes in this boston comic last year's funny guy uh what's his name but it's like boston comic everyone who's famous from boston he goes bill uh something that's like bill bird and he's like that's it that's the guy he goes i should give him your name for next year i's like yeah yeah give him kelly taylor from saskatcho to follow up on the bill berg game i'll take whenever he got paid too at that time so it's just great it was uh like if that's all that's all i need it life is just that little one right there of some guy being absolutely clueless that he's

given his camera to Ray Bork to take a picture of me for his wife. God. I mean, it could have happened with anyone better sitting there? I mean, obviously, Wayne Gretzky sitting there would have been better. But I mean, like, Ray Bork's pretty big. Like, Ray Borg is. And then April 7th, I bump into Ray Bork again. And this is my fourth time.

So, and we're at the airport. They did a hockey hero thing. There was Bertuzi, Ally, Afraidy, McDaniel, a bunch of guys. And I remember it was the, it's April 7th. It's the day after Humboldt. And I'm bumping these guys, man. I'm down.

And then they come around and we start. I know I've worked with Al before too. So we told him, man, I was like, hockey community just takes after. Like, I was down in the dump. I was like, takes a hockey guys to get you out of this. And then we get on the plane. And we get bumped up.

You never get bumped up first class. And we get bumped up and being Ray are having drinks visiting that. And then she's like, oh, hey, what do you do? And she's like, oh, yeah, he used to play hockey. And she's like, oh, my God, my dad is a huge hockey fact. And she goes, what's your name? I have to tell him. And then once again, I was like, oh, my God.

He's getting like one of the greatest defensemen that ever play the game. And he goes, Ray Bork. And then she looks like, okay, I remember that. I'll see if he remembers. I'll see if he knows who you are. And I was like, yeah, if you're saying your dad's a hockey fan, I'm pretty sure you'll know who he is. And then Ray goes, and he's a comedian. Tell him who you are.

I don't think your dad's going to know who I am. I'm not Bill Burr. I'll tell you that. God, Bill Burr's funny. Who's your favorite comedian? Like, who do you turn in, tune into the special? You know what? I don't.

Okay, that's a good question. If there's a special, I'll watch a couple. I don't really listen to any. much stand-up, but if there's a special, and Mike Berbigley, I've released his one. See, he's a huge name. Would be known as unreal, but maybe not a household name.

He's awesome. He's an American guy. John Dorr is a Canadian guy that's hilarious. Norm McDonald, which I think is one of the best of all time. And then there's also Chappelle. Chappelle is, but Chappelle feels like Connor McDavid,

but he's so good without, like, it looks, when you're that good, It looks like he's not trying. He looks like he can just be talking about an ending and he probably is. It looks like McDavid skating. Like that's how good Chappelle is. I'd love to see.

I'd love to see. I'd love to see what his routine is Chappelle for preparing for that. Because there's one guy when it comes out immediately. I'm like, yep, I'm going to tune into that. Bill Burr is another about Bill Burr. I mean, he's hilarious. But Dave Chappelle is just like, man he's good doesn't matter what he's talking about like he's just fantastic he's he's so good he's just

it just seems like he's better than everyone else at the way he's talking like it's almost it's comedy and it's almost he's teaching you something at the same time and you're like well how can't i see that point of view of this and that i've heard um i've never seen bill bird live but i know the guy who i take his opinion the most is the guy who runs a club in winnipe because he's seen every comic there is in the world. And he said Bill Burr's live is pretty tough to beat Bill Burr live. So, but I've never said, and I haven't seen a lot of Bill's stand-up. You see Bill on everything else, but I haven't watched a lot of Bill Burr's stand-up,

but I know Doug Stanhope's a guy really offside, incredibly funny too. For Biglia, John Mulaney's another guy, very funny. But those are a few of them. well let's do this we'll we'll slowly wrap up here we do the crude master we do the crude master final five oh yeah i get i get going and and there's no stopping right we're we're close in an hour and a half um we'll do the crude master final five it's uh shout out to heath and tracy macdonald they've been sponsored the podcast since the very beginning uh just five questions uh go as long or short as we like there's no timetable on this but if you could sit down on your podcast with one

person or, you know, and sit and pick their brain like I'm doing to you, right? Like, if you could have anyone, who would you take? You know what? I've done so many, uh, I've done so many sports guys that, uh, and then, and just the way we've been talking to like, so Grant Fear was my hero and the Mark Messia. I was like, you know what? I'm going to even, I'm not, I'm not even do those guys. Uh, I'm such an outdoors guy. You know what? I would go, I'd probably go some sort of crazy mountaineer guy, man. That's

Conrad Anchor is a huge mountain guy. I'm going to go off script on that one. Yeah. I've never been asked that question. I've never been asked that question.

And then the other ones I would think of comics, but I was like, man, I could be at just last different things. They're just in a club and Norm MacDonald can pop it and you can sit there

and kind of do. Norm McDonald be pretty cool because because he was the one guy I remember recording his set when I was in grade six on a on a cassette player because they had comedy at night and I recorded it and I remembered the whole bit it was about being in the backseat of a car and I remember John Wing a comedian from Canada legendary comedians like who is your favorite and

I was like I and I kind of tell him the Norm McDonald's story and listen to this thing he was like what was the bit and John Wayne goes oh my god I was there the night Norm told that for the first time he just started doing stat and he was new into stand up and everyone said how good he was and all he took the bit was about him sitting in the backseat of a car because he was the new comic so the new he's like you know you're the new guy you're not going to get shot gunned or that

so you're the back seat of the car he came back and like how's the new guy and he's pretty quiet doesn't say anything and then when you come back from your road gigs you all do a set Sunday in Toronto and then Norm just did a set about him being in the backseat of that car and it just destroyed it was already like boom boom boom

set up and that was the thing and John was like I was there the night that fucking bit was born. I was like, oh, man, did that come full circle? I'm glad I told you the story then to get the tail end of it. And it's just, it was so funny. Everything he said was, it was like true about being in the backseat of a car. I just loved it. Norm McDonnell is, uh, is a special character. Oh, yeah, he'd be a little weird, a little that's why I'd get nervous at some point because he probably like, because you don't know if he's messing with you or what the hell's going on?

Didn't he have, I'm trying to remember now. I'm certain he did, I just can't remember the name of it. Didn't he have a talk show? What was his talk show called? Yeah, the Norm McDonald's show. Yeah, Norm McDonald's show, right? And he had a sitcom, the Norm show. No, no, no, no.

But he used to have a Norm McDonald show where he'd bring people in and they'd sit and talk and it was kind of like, I remember thinking. Very unscripted. It was, yeah. And he tried to make it look unprofessional and then some people were chiming in on it because it was, but that was just normal. That's what he wanted to do. He didn't want it to be a big, a big ordeal.

Yeah. I felt like more people needed to be in on that joke because I remember the first time I tuned in. That's exactly, I was like, what the hell is going on here? Yeah, look me, like, low budget, eh? Look. Yeah. Right. This is Norm McDonald's sitting there.

You're like, this is something else, right? Like, but when you did some digging now that you talk about it, yeah, that's exactly what it was. Mm-hmm. Well, if you could perform in one place, whether you've done it already or you want to do it what is the one place oh you know what just because i watched it on um on hbo uh they have a thing on the comedy store i did the comedy store uh in l-a but i was in the small room upstairs so i guess the main room because they say everyone you know everyone's done it so i guess i would i would want to do that in main room in l.a at the

comedy store just because it is such history. I've done the improv in New York and improv in L.A. in the laugh factory and that, but I've done the comedy store, but not that one main room. So, I guess that would be it. Yeah, for sure. I guess the comedy store.

Or the St. Denis Theater in Montreal. I've done gala's at just for last, but not that St. Guinea theater is the bigger of the one. So I guess if you're doing St. Deney, you're doing something right. So I'll say, I guess, St. Deney in Montreal. I'll take it back. If you could open for one guy, who would it be?

Would it be Norm MacDonald or would it be somebody else? Oh, man. Yeah, you know what? Probably. Probably, and you know what? And the thing is, Norm comes by and I've been offered to, he does the comedy clubs in Winnipeg. He does the comedy clubs in Edmonton.

And my manager was, my manager was the Edmonton club owner. So if Norm ever went through, I would just say, I'd just say, okay, can I open for him? maybe yeah and same with uh he goes to calgary i know the club owner there so i like i could but so i'm gonna go i'm gonna think of some of i'm there i like the berbiglia then but then i'd be scared berbiglia would judge me and not like my style of comedian comedy that's such a fat i is that it'd be like i don't like this guy i'm like no i'd hurt my feelings if you could do a skit on s and no any skit through the history of time what skit would it be god i hope it's one I remember. Oh man. You know what the thing is? So I got, when I was in LA, I got Brilstein and

Gray, which is the, I think the biggest management company in the world. So this is how Canadian I am. So my manager from Canada sent me down and they had Steve Kotlohicks, who's a hockey agent. So he used to be producing things in L.A. and all that before. So he had a lot of connections. So we were going around to meetings and that. And so we went in and we signed with Brillstein and Gray. And they sit down and it's like almost they like one guy like you just props up and kind of sits on the edge of a chair and they look at you. And it's like, what are they going to do with you? And he looks like, what do you want? And I was like, man, I've never been asked this question.

I'm in L.A. Things are moved. I was like, what do I want? He goes like, what do you want to do? If you could have anything, what do you want to do? And I was like, Saturday Night Live? That's all. Like, are you kidding me?

That would be my dream. And it goes, okay. And it's like, now you're talking to people that can make it happen. And it goes, okay. So you do lots of impressions. And I was like, no, don't do any. He's like, but man, that's, that's what Saturday Night Live is. And in my head, I never even thought of it that way.

Like, in my head, I just, like, I don't ever picture Will Ferrell's like doing an impression. I always pictured him as being a funny guy, you know, doing that. And it was like, I always thought I could do those different, like, I could do characters, but I didn't know of impression. Like, oh, I didn't think of it. So, yeah, I would probably go, uh, because I could picture myself, I was probably at that weight and looked like, uh, that body type. But more cowbell was probably more cowbell.

shit more cowbell with that with the belly out uh would have been probably a good one to do god how much fun how much fun would will ferrell be to take out in the night just where where maybe people don't even know who he is he just can he can just let loose i mean if that's even possible like and that's what i like and maybe it's a hockey mentality with me and that i was never a solo sport guy so if i could look for the funnest thing to do in what i was doing it's like sounding lives and just like the team having a great time like the team bused just be that stage and then and then that after party and they're like thanks for our guests and this and they're all just sitting there and you're like ho ho are they going to cut loose because you know they've all been through the trenches like a hockey team that

they've been working all week non-stop but not even all week but all month prepping prepping prepping and then just like oh let and you know you nail a skit too like just like scoring the goal or making the big save like oh man and then going out like holy shit was cowbell good because there's obviously going to be bits where you think they're good and you don't know yeah and they bomb man that would yeah or they do other ones yeah

and you don't know which way they're going to go and like man that one worked out perfect it's like so Saturday Live was always intrigued me like that I was like oh always wanted it always but it's like they're like do lots of impersonations not that's what it is shit I never thought of it Okay, your final one then, keeping the celebrity thing in mind, if you could bring one celebrity to Saskatchewan,

what celebrity would you bring to party with, and what SAS small-town bar would you take them to? Oh, what small-town SaaS bar? Oh, my God. These are tough questions, man. want, oh, I probably want to bring a musician. But then I was like, someone of, who'd be a musician? That'd be a really, really good time. Holy shit.

Can you get harder questions, man? I'm going to go, I want Chris Farley then. I want Chris Farley alive. Can you imagine Chris Farley alive in small towns asked? That would be a riot. I want Chris Farley live at. Ships Lantern at Candle Lake on August long weekend back when it was a bar. There we go.

I'm going all out. No holding any punches. Chris Farley, then you give me a, we go for the money. Who could be the biggest idiot at the bar that night? God, you're hitting.

I tell you what, I have not been all across Saskatchewan. I will not even for one second put that out there. But I have been to the Ships Lanter at Canter at Canter Lake when it was back at a bar. And I got, I was sitting outside because I'd had a few frosties and, somehow we had pizza and we're sitting in the dirt and a guy punched a bouncer and knocked them down and took off running and then all these bouncers came running out and they're like which way

they go or we're sitting there and I have no idea and then you hear you'll never catch me they caught him they caught him you'll never catch me famous last words oh man this has been a lot of fun I appreciate you you hopping on and uh sharing some stories, Kelly, and just, you know, shooting the shit. This has been really enjoyable. Yeah, thank you very much for having me. All the best. That's good.

I love Lloyd is one of my towns where people always ask, where do you like performing? Like, what's your favorite? I always get the weirdest answer. Like, I love performing in Winnipeg. And Lloyd, just always a group of people there. I always hang out with, love having a good time in Lloyd. So I do a ton of shows in Lloyd, it seems like. I have a great time every time there.

Well, the next time you're here, you'll let me know because I'll have you in studio and we can sit and have a BS and a bullshit and a couple of Sasparillas in studio. Sounds good. That sounds good. Take you up on her. Awesome. Thanks, Kelly. Thank you for having me, Sean. Hey, folks, thanks for joining us today. If you just stumbled on the show, please click subscribe. Then scroll to the bottom and rate and leave a review.

I promise it helps. Remember, every Monday and Wednesday, we will have a. new guests sitting down to share their story. The Sean Newman podcast is available for free on Apple, Spotify, YouTube, and wherever else you get your podcast fix. Until next time. Originally from Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. His first time on stage was shall. His first time on stage was shall.

Can't say that word. Originally from Prince Albert. Originally from Prince Albert, Saskatchewan. His first time on stage, stage. Fuck me. When you want to know. When you want to know. pop,

pa, come on. Music, that kind of thing. Head, give Lewis Stang a call three of us. God,

I am torturing this. Bo. Ba, ba, so if you're interested in that, give Louis Mr. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck.