Shawn Ryan Show - #276 Nick Brokhausen - The Deadliest Stories From Vietnam with MACV-SOG
Episode Date: February 2, 2026Nick Brokhausen is a highly decorated U.S. Army Special Forces veteran who served in the secretive Military Assistance Command, Vietnam – Studies and Observations Group (MACV-SOG) from 1970 to 1971,... conducting high-risk reconnaissance missions deep behind enemy lines in Vietnam and Laos. On his second tour in Vietnam, he joined Recon Team Habu in Command and Control North (CCN), participating in some of the most dangerous operations of the war. With a 15-year career in the Regiment, Brokhausen undertook classified missions across the globe. He is the author of "We Few: U.S. Special Forces in Vietnam" (2018) and "Whispers in the Tall Grass: Back Behind Enemy Lines with MACV-SOG" (2019), offering firsthand accounts of SOG's covert operations and the camaraderie among elite warriors. He advocates for preserving the history of special operations and honoring the sacrifices of Vietnam veterans. Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: Get 30% off your first subscription order at ARMRA by going to https://ARMRA.com/srs or entering code SRS at checkout. Go to https://shopbeam.com/SRS and use code SRS to get up to 50% off Beam Dream Nighttime Cocoa—grab it for just $32.50 and improve your sleep today. Join thousands of parents who trust Fabric to help protect their family—apply today in just minutes at https://meetfabric.com/SHAWN Try ZipRecruiter for free at https://ziprecruiter.com/SRS. Nick Brokhausen Links: Amazon Author Page - https://www.amazon.com/stores/author/B07CKVZHTP Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices
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Mr. Nick Brockhausen.
Welcome to the show.
Thanks for having me, Sean.
It's an honor having you guys.
Well, likewise.
Thank you.
Thank you.
So we got connected through Tilt, correct?
Oh, yeah, Tilt.
It's so nice to see him in men's clothing again.
Oh, my God.
What did he used to wear?
Well.
Right on.
Well, seriously, I tell all you guys this.
and everybody that I've interviewed from the Vietnam generation.
And I just want to say how much, and I don't say this lightly,
how much of an honor it is to have you here.
And, you know, when I was growing up,
the Vietnam generation is what inspired me to join service,
become a Navy SEAL, and fight for my country.
And it truly is.
It was the movies.
It was the guys.
It was everything to me about the Vietnam
generation that it just fascinated me from a young age and still to this day I think you guys are
just a special breed of human beings and so it means it stops I'm going to have to buy a new hat
right on but no I'm being serious so welcome home yeah well I appreciate that and I got to tell you
the new generation every once in a while I get the distinct honor of working with special forces
sealed, whatever.
You know, and I got to say,
you're all right, proper rascals.
You know, the same spirit,
the same drive,
the same professionalism,
is still there.
You know, it's a pleasure to interact with them,
and it gives me faith
that we actually have a chance
to recover the republic.
Yeah.
Yeah.
You know, I know every,
every new generation gets a lot of shit, you know, but they weren't as hard and they're not as tough.
But the ones that I made are shit hot fucking operators.
And lots has changed.
I feel like I'm a dinosaur now.
I'm sure you do too with the way warfare is conducted now.
But those guys are truly innovative and it's really cool to see.
But, you know, all the SEALs, special forces, they've all evolved.
And in some aspects, they've become one-dimensional.
You know, and Iraq was a, and Afghanistan was a reason for that.
They became door kickers.
You know, our generation was more working with the Indedge and training them,
equipping them, and leading them into counterinsurgency.
Yeah.
And they're slowly but surely going.
going back to that and I'm glad to see that because that's really where you're the individualism
and the teamwork really shine when they start going back to the basic because you know S-F was
based on the OSS you know and you you our lineage was that you were going to get jumped into somebody
else's country and you might spend seven years there you know fighting a war in that so you know the
the training for it, the mentality, the nexus was based around that concept.
And I'm glad to see that they're finally getting back to that in such a way that
they can become a really effective tool.
Yeah, yeah.
You know, we haven't really talked much about the OSS.
Do you want to go into that a little bit?
Well, what I know about, I'm not Victor David Hanson.
I'm no great intellect.
I do read, though.
Yeah, the OSS was, you know, in the beginning when they started the OSS, Donovan was given the OSS Office of Strategic Service.
And it was a battle with Jay Edgar Hoover because Jay Edgar Hoover wanted it all.
He wanted to be, you know, the guy who was putting FBI agents in where OSS agents actually ended up going.
and they did a compromise with him.
They gave him the counter-intelligence role in the U.S. and in South America.
So the FBI had limited influence in South America and Mexico
because the Nazis had a huge, huge station in Mexico.
They were operating out of Mexico, northern Colombia, places like that, Argentina.
but the OSS was originally designed to provide war fighters,
people that could go in, provide strategic intelligence on the Nazis
and on their military and what they were doing in other countries.
And what he did is he picked businessmen.
People that had traveled in Germany, people had traveled that were maybe natives of Italy,
Bulgaria, Armenia,
Armenia, whatever,
and drew them in
and formed the OSS.
And they had different divisions of it.
And each of those divisions had
a certain amount of latitude
to how they operated.
But the whole thing was based on clandestine.
We're not going to be,
make a big show like the commandos and that.
We're going to drop you out of a lankster bomber
and a business suit.
And you're going to get on the ground,
and go to meet your contacts in that country,
and then start providing intel back.
And then after the war, they got rid of the OSS,
and it became the Central Intelligence Agency.
And it really ruined it when they did that
because it took away some of that expertise
in Elon of the operators from World War II.
But the OSS was a very effective tool.
I just read a white paper written by a E8 from a 10th group,
a guy named Kevin O'Connor, O.C.
280 pounds of moving Irish intellect.
Where he suggested, and it's a good suggestion,
is to do away with special ops and turn it back into the O.S.
and have the same different divisions and that within it.
For one thing, centralized purchasing.
There's so much redundancy in the purchasing.
And second of all, it does away with each service having their special operations division that.
Put them all in one unit, make them all warrant officers.
So perfect rank to operate in.
You've got officers.
you got warrant officers, but you don't have
NCOs anymore. And if you transfer
into it, you automatically become a
warrant officer. When did this flight
paper come out? He wrote it.
Oh, I know. He wrote it
and Al Mullins edited it, thank God.
But
about six months ago.
Six months ago? Yeah.
And I think he sent it to the
Secretary of Defense, or he might
send it to Center
as, you know, a suggestion. You know, here it is.
I think that's a genius idea.
What do you think about that?
It's got some flaws, but it's much better than what they're operating under now.
I'm just curious, why do you think that would be better?
I have my own opinions, but...
Let's see, how do I put it?
They've got the ability to act without massive oversight.
You know, this whole organization in Special Forces
stands on the shoulders of 12 men,
and they forgot that.
You've got Psiop's, and you've got civil affairs,
and you've got, you know, ribbon-cutting outfit
or some other hoofila.
Those are all support units.
They're not special operations.
I don't consider them a special operation.
I'm sure that people in Psi-Ops argue about, you know,
they actually captured this or captured that
when they were out in the countryside,
but really it's all based on a seal team and an A team.
Those guys are where the rubber meets the road.
And, you know, we...
I'll give you an example.
Over the years, I had people come to me and go,
what kind of special school did you go to to get in CCN?
Well, a prior felony helped.
It's...
We were selected because...
It was just another SF assignment.
It was no more than that.
You'd go there and you'd do your thing in Vietnam
and then you'd come back to the States.
You might get assigned to Red Empire or the 10th group.
And then you did the missions that they had on the board in that.
But it gave you a vast pool of knowledge
and cross-pollinization with people that actually know how to operate on the ground.
You know, that's interesting.
what what so what what units would he have what what did what did the white paper say what
well he broke it down into how they would you know structure it the TUNE and you know how
the big thing that he was concentrating on was uh I'm looking for the right word here
sometimes they trip the ability to act independently without micromanagement to
give that power and authority and responsibility down to the working level in order to get
the job done because that when the where the rubber meets the road that's where innovation comes
from and expertise he uh you know another thing was you know the weapons try and do similar weapons
uh so you don't again relaying back to why buy six different systems when two actually will do
the job and standardization makes it easier for ammunition parts supply uh you know and training
simplifying it i hope they do it i mean i know it would uh i tell you what i think i might
have a copy of it i'll forward it to you i would love to read it as uh i mean i think that it would
be you know i got to be honest i didn't know that's how it used to be but well you know we today
you go into fifth group, you stay in the fifth group.
In my day, you go to the 10th group, you'd be there for three years,
you might get transferred to Dead A or get transferred to the sixth group or, you know,
the first group, whatever.
And that allowed for a lot of cross-pollinization and that.
You met guys that were doing different things.
And you were able to give your input and take theirs and move on with it, you know.
You know, not only that, but the first thing that came to my mind when you're talking about,
you know,
you know, consolidating all of special operations under one umbrella that's not the Navy Army Marine Corps.
No, its own force.
It's its own branch.
It's its own branch.
I've always thought this was a good idea.
I think it'd piss a lot of people off because the history would, you know, that would be the end of the Green Berets, the Navy SEALs.
Well, I made the suggestion one time that you had to put the Navy under the Marine Corps.
I thought I pulled my pecker out in front of them.
Yeah.
Yeah, but I think it just gets rid of the competition.
And when I mean competition, I don't mean, you know, Green Brady Seal,
I mean competition is in the salesmanship that goes into who's going to get what specific operation.
I would think that that all goes away because it will be put on some type of cycle.
It won't all go away, but it'll make it a lot cleaner.
The other thing is, yeah.
And then the other thing is,
after World War II, we had all these bases all over the world, you know, Germany, everywhere, right?
And those become the commands themselves, you know, Ucom, Centcom, Afrocom, paycom.
And so, you know, those, whoever's in charge of Ucom, for example, has two seal platoons and two SF units.
And you know what I mean?
They have that allocated to Ucom.
and those leaders never want to, they never want to give up an asset no matter what's going on in the rest of the world.
So that creates a shortage because you have to send a fucking task unit of seals to Germany when there's two wars going on in the Middle East.
And if you had something like that, then it rips everything.
It rips all the assets from these people that are fucking hoarding it for no reason.
And they all get allocated into the, you see what I'm into the actual war zone, the conflict that,
is happening right now. A good example of that waste of talent and energy was, I was in
Detachment A in Berlin for six years. And Dead A reported directly to the Joint Chiefs of Staff.
And the commanding general of Ucom didn't like that. He didn't like the fact that we were
op-com to the chiefs of staff.
not under his T O&E.
And eventually he got his way and got a hatchet man in there,
and it basically made the excuse that the cover that we were using
was too transparent and they should reorganize it.
They made it into an MP outfit and gave him the added to see.
Dead A had the counterterrorism mission
and their primary mission, which was a stay-behind mission,
in case the Russians got drunk and decided to invade.
And they would invade, and we'd disappear into the population and start blowing up their rail yards and telecommunications in that.
And then we picked up the counterterrorism mission because nobody else was ready.
Blue Light was in the process of forming, and Charlie and Delta were in their infancy.
So we were the designee if something happened in Europe or the Middle East for about, I think, four years before they got to.
totally spun up. But you kept that mission and kept the primary mission and then added a mission
after you got control over it of doing security for all the diplomats overseas.
Checking their houses, checking the embassies, checking their toilet, whatever. And the guys did
a, that unit did a superlative job, but it was unnecessary. Yeah. It was necessary. Yeah. It was
It could have made a separate unit to do that, you know, because the dip security guys
was the State Department, mostly SF anyway.
And, you know, they've got that job.
Yeah.
It's redundancy, yeah.
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Let's get into your story real quick.
Well, not real quick.
It's going to be a long interview, but everybody starts off with an introduction.
Nick Brockhausen, a Green Beret with a 17-year career in the U.S. Special Forces, including
multiple combat tours in Vietnam, a veteran of the highly classified Mac V. Saug running covert
recon missions deep into enemy territory in Laos and Vietnam.
as part of Recond Team Habu in Command and Control North.
The author of We Few U.S. Special Forces in Vietnam
and its sequel, Whispers in the Tall Grass.
You've since had adventures around the world and now run a tech company and an armory.
This is a quote that I love.
I'm cured for life of ever dating redheaded women,
or even making eye contact with them.
Oh, never make it.
It isn't that I'm bonkers over them.
They find me as some sort of training aid.
I just don't have the deranged state
and body fluids for that exercise anymore.
I don't, really.
I run from them.
Oh, shit. I love that.
Well, Nick, before we get started,
I've got a couple of things here.
So everybody that comes on the show
gets a bag of these.
Those are Vigilance League gummy beers. Oh, good for the trip back.
That's right. That's right. Thank you. You're welcome. Made here in the USA. And I got, have you ever heard of USCA?
No.
Well, USCA has a soft spot in their heart for Vietnam vets, just like I do. And so they wanted me to give this to you.
Oh, thank you. This is, so basically, that is an insurance policy for life.
and if you ever have to defend yourself, your family, your friends, whatever happens,
these guys will provide you the legal advice, the legal funding.
Well, I'm old school.
I really don't need the insurance policy if you don't leave any witnesses.
Well, if you do leave a witness,
USCA will be there to help you.
Thank you.
So as long as it's, you know, legitimate self-defense.
So, but, uh, legitimate self-defense. Isn't that an oxymoron? I don't know. I don't know. But,
well, thank you. You're welcome. And thank them. You're welcome. All right, Nick. So I want to do,
I want to do a life story on you starting at childhood. So where did you grow up?
Um, my life started in 1969 when I was accepted into Special Forces selection course.
Roger that. Is that where you want to start? Uh, well, you know, I, I,
grew up poor relatively poor my parents were uh my my dad was a former army air corps
my stepdad and my mom uh was a waitress a cook you know uh it's like from clockwork orange
what what are you well my father was russian my mother was a waitress yeah but uh they raised
four kids on a waitress salary and a bartender. We actually, we lived in North Dakota and my dad
had a farm. We had 640 acres or something like that. We raised cattle, hogs, chickens, and grain.
You know, we sold all of the above. And two years of
drought and another two years of floods put us out of the farming business.
So my dad was able to keep the farm, and he took the money from the sale of the machinery
and everything, and we moved to Minnesota to a little town called Glenwood.
And he opened a bar, hotel, and restaurant all in one building.
And that's where I spent my formative,
and the time I was preteen until I was old enough to be drafted or whatever.
And it was a great life.
I mean, I hunted, I fished, I skipped school to go squirrel hunting, you know.
Nice.
Hid the guns in a hollow tree outside where they had what they call it shop class.
And we'd skid her out over the roof of the building and go squirrel hunting all afternoon.
So I was very adept in the woods.
You know, we, my brother and I had ran a trap line for a number of years for make money to buy school clothes.
No kidding.
Yeah.
Montgomery Ward and J.C. Penny's, you know, you'd order your school clothes and that, and your school clothes in the year before became your work and play clothes.
What would you sell the fish?
Huh?
The trout line.
Oh, trap line.
Yeah.
outside of Glenwood.
It was all woods, woods and farmland.
We trapped Mink.
There was a big swamp area that, a number of them,
and that muskrat, Mank, Martins, Fisher Cats, you know,
all of which brought good money and pork pies.
No kidding.
Yeah, now I got caught.
My brother and I, you know,
We killed these four porcupines, and there was a bounty for porcupines that you had to take the nose, right?
And then you pickle it, and you take it down to the game warden, and he'd send it in, you know, and you get, I think it was like $25 bucks for a porcupine.
So we're skinning the porcupines and that, and I skin the pads off their paws and dropped it in the pickling.
It's a nose.
So instead of one nose, we now have five noses per porcupine.
So we didn't dumb kids, you know, we turned them all in.
And that game warden was a drinking buddy and my father.
He called my father up and he goes, well, either your two boys have cleaned out every porcupine
between here and the Canadian border, or they're up to something.
So he sent it in to the University of Minnesota.
And, of course, it comes back.
These are paws and these are noses and that.
And they took us down and, you know, scared the shit out of us by locking us in a jail cell.
I think I was like 12 or 13 at the time, you know.
A lot of fun, you know.
I learned how to exist in the woods.
Yeah.
Learned how to track.
Learned how to, you know, learned animals, learned their habits.
They had a lot of fun with my brother.
And my little brother was built like a crash dummy because that's the only way he survived childhood.
And then eventually, you know, I went into the military and eventually evolved into,
I learned the ground rules for the military and then applied for special forces and was accepted in 1968 or 69.
And I went to jump school, went to SF selection corps.
came out of the selection course and went to Vietnam for my second tour.
What was your first tour?
The Marines.
You were a Marine.
Did I smumble that?
Why are you mumbling?
I didn't.
I have a lot of respect for the Marine Corps.
Me too.
taught me my craft, taught me that I actually could work under pressure.
When I first transferred services, I was a grant.
You know, you've got to go through the, you know, basic training, AIT, and then you're in a casual status for a certain amount of time.
Before I went to Special Forces selection course, I went to Korea.
And I was with the second division up there on the DMZ.
During the Pueblo incident.
I'm not familiar with that.
That was a spy ship that the North Koreans captured.
And at the same time, they sent a 40-man commando outfit down to Seoul to try and assassinate the president of South Korea.
And the second division was in the sector.
Everybody in the country was hunting for these guys.
They got recognized at the front gate of the Blue Palace because the guard recognized their accent wasn't from the South.
And a running gun battle started there.
And they, I was, my company was assigned.
as a backup unit to the Koreans,
the White Horse Division that eventually went
to Vietnam from the Koreans.
And they tracked down the last 15 survivors.
And we were part of the sweep that drove them up
on top this mountain.
And they committed suicide at the last minute.
And then I got transferred from there,
then back to Ford Benning to go through Jump School
and then eventually into Special Forces.
Why did you join the Marine Corps first?
I got drafted.
You got drafted?
Yeah.
How did the, okay.
What was that like?
It's like the Marines.
To get drafted.
I mean, how did the letter come?
I was going to have to talk to us.
You know, it just time and events caught up with me before I could enlist.
In those days, you couldn't step out of the line and move over and enlist and take a three-year in the Army.
Once you were designated, you went, you know.
And it was interesting.
What was your first tour like?
What?
What was your first tour in Vietnam like?
A line company.
You never knew where you were going,
just know that you were going to get in a fight.
And eventually, you know, you'd get mauled or you'd mull them
and then come back to it.
And the same thing was in Korea with the second division.
We were up on the DMZ,
and that's all we did was we either were in the towers
or we were over in the DMZ doing hunter killer patrols
same exact thing just more intense in Vietnam than it was in Korea
no shit yeah how was South how was Korea what how was Korea
cold cold cold wet nasty everything smelled like human shit
and well the demilitarized zone there was nobody over there
they basically cleared all the Koreans out of there
in the southern part of the DMZ.
Once you crossed the MGM River,
you were in the demilitarized zone.
And that extended up to the actual border.
And then, well, you had the line of towers and wire,
which they were just putting in during that time.
They didn't have them.
Originally, there was just foxholes.
You went out and set up machine gun positions
and then the foxholes in a line,
like a line outfit does.
you know, and then gradually they started replacing that with a fence system and 25-foot wooden towers with machine guns in them.
And then they had gates and there was a minefield this side and a desk strip that was raked and cleaned so you could see tracks and that.
And then on the north side of the border, there were some minefields, but there was a lot of old.
minefields left over from the war.
She had to really be,
a lot of them were marked and a lot of them weren't.
She had to be really careful
where you were moving about.
I like the Hunter Killer Patrol
better than I like the static.
Just sitting there all night.
Getting eaten by mosquitoes in the summertime
and freezing their balls off in the winter.
A lot of interesting things.
It's where I first discovered Kempshi.
Kempshi.
Kempshi. You know where Kempshi is?
No.
Pickled cabbages.
Oh, I do know what that is.
Wow.
There was, they, they make, I make my own now.
Nice.
And you store it in porcelain jars.
And the old days, used to put out like a straw stopper in the top of it.
And it was about that big around and that.
I stepped through one of them out in the DMZ and pulled my foot out.
I go, what is that?
And the Koreans I rose with went nuts.
Oh, Kempi.
And they started dipping it out with their canteen cups and that.
But a lot of destroyed villages, really kind of ghostly moving around in.
You know, a lot of fog.
A lot of activities some months and a lot of months with no activity.
They were always trying to probe the wire and get through and slip infiltrators.
There was a funny story.
Our sister unit was the third battalion of the 38th.
And there's two bridges that crossed the MGM, one down by Pamanjun and one up north by Nulahree.
And the one up north was called Freedom Bridge.
And they had machine gun posts along the bridge looking down into the MGM River, which at that point is probably
a couple hundred meters wide.
And during the monsoon season,
it's flooded. It's moving fast.
This was kind of in between.
And one of the machine gun posts opened up.
Just blast away and said,
I got a submarine in the water.
And, of course, the sergeant of the guard,
and lieutenant ran out there,
and they looked, they don't see shit, right?
So the guy was a spec four.
They took them back.
and they had him down to the sikes to make sure he was and didn't crack up in that.
And he was going, no, I saw a submarine.
I saw a submarine.
I was bullshit, right?
Two weeks later, a mini-sleb washed up on a sandbar.
Are you serious?
Between that bridge and the next bridge with the crewmen still in it.
He had shot the conning tower and the one guy got stuck in the escape hatch and they all drowned.
Well, he died.
They made them a staff sergeant and sent them back to the States.
Wow.
There was all kinds of little incidents like that.
They tried many subs off the coast, many subs up to the MGM.
A lot of times trying to come across in rafts, you know, either rubber rafts or rafts they made out of vegetation and try and just float across and make their way stripped down and come across.
Of course, in those days, we had the mighty people.
PRC-6, Wauke-Tocky were at squad level, and I think it was the PRC-10, which you had to calibrate all the time to keep it on frequency.
You spit.
There was too much humidity in the air for it to stay on frequency.
The weapon was M-14s, and I think when I first got over there, we still had B-A-Rs.
for the squad automatic weapon
rather than the M14E2
because all that shit was going south.
But interesting tour.
I remember when it took
from the DMZ to Seoul
was a grueling,
bouncing, jarring ride
in the back of a deuce an app
that took three and a half hours.
On the Audubon now,
the freeway,
takes 15 minutes
You get from Seoul to the DMZ.
Jeez.
So how long were you there?
11 months.
And where did you go from there?
I went to jump school.
You went to jump school?
Right.
And from jump school and selection.
Where was the Vietnam?
Where was the Vietnam?
Before that.
Okay.
Do you want to talk about that?
Yeah.
Same as Korea, being a grunt.
I have an undying love for the Corps.
If they'd have spent all that money on the Corps,
they would have had a true UW capability.
Like I said, I made the suggestion once
that the Marines should be in charge of the Navy,
and it wasn't well taken in that.
But I learned disciplined.
and I learned that I could operate under pressure
and I learned that I could take a lot of suffering and still keep going
and that that helped me a lot when I decided to transfer over
first of all I went in the Army and in special forces
because you could get promoted
you didn't have to wait for somebody to die up the chain of the command
for a slot to open so it was you know
And, you know, at that time, Special Forces was vogue, you know, go into the Green Berets, you know,
it's the, you know, be all the man you can be, or whatever the slogan was.
And I found it interesting.
I found it really interesting because I read a lot when I was in high school.
Like I said, about the OSS and about the commandos and the Rangers and, you know,
and, you know, the Raiders, you know, all those specialized outfits.
and it seemed like the thing that I could fit well in.
How did you see any mad, any SAG guys when you were in the Marine Corps?
No.
No.
No.
No.
You know, when I, even when I was at CCN, we worked with Tongue, the seals over at Tongue Deshaun.
How was that?
It was fun.
I mean, they had a warrant officer named Mr. Johnson, a funny guy, funny guy.
Whip cruel, too, if he had to be.
And we used to change, you know, equipment.
You need this, well, I got some extra of that.
RPD lengths, yeah, we got some of those, you know.
RPDs, yeah, we got four of those extra in that, back and forth.
And we did a couple of missions where they supported us with one time with a full seal team
on an amphibious landing to blow up a bridge.
And a typhoon or some sort of storm came up.
They got washed way down the coast and didn't make the rendezvous.
And we came in from the land.
And we found their boats.
They washed up down the coast and that.
And they managed to infiltrate in and get picked up by a helicopter.
that but they didn't make the target no we didn't make the target consequently too bad storm
they had some marines with the seals that were working with the nasty boats you know what the
nasty boats are don't they they it gets kind of convoluted the CIA ran some of the projects
and the military was gradually taking over from them the nasty boats were norwegians
region PT boats.
Okay.
Real fast, you know, armed
to the teeth and that.
And what they were doing,
they were going up in the North Vietnam
and taking agents
and putting them ashore with those boats.
And same thing, doing raids
and coming back out.
And there were,
there were force recon Marines
that were with the seals
working on that project.
And I never,
it's like,
Now, you see all these guys that, you know, claim that their unit was Maxog.
You know, the Force Recon was MaxO.
Wow.
I don't know if it was ever on the T-O-N-E.
I never saw Force Recon running recon missions for Max-Og.
They might have.
You know, I was in one project.
There were two others, three others.
You know, that's possible.
But, you know, Max-Og originally was the Seals and Special Forces.
The Seals were down south.
you guys, you know, with places flooded, it's your natural habitat.
Keep your skin wet all the time, you know, go into hyperventilation.
And up anything north into the highlands and up to North Vietnam was, you know, our kind
of terrain.
So it was those two units that basically made up the core of it.
I did a study on my own when I was writing my first two books.
the original T-O-N-E for MacB-Sogg was 1,174 Americans assigned to it.
That included all the officers, all the support units, all the radio relay sites, all the people that were at the launch sites,
and the two sections of it that actually ran ground combat operations.
So you take all that support stuff and shove it over here.
You have, all right, we had 18 teams that were recon.
And usually each team had two Americans assigned to it.
So sometimes three, but two normally.
That's 36 people in recon company.
The hatchet force, they had two guys per platoon or whatever.
You got three patoons.
So you had six guys in each company, and they had three companies.
So 18 there, 36, it's what, 48 people that are on the ground, running operations, on the ground.
And I've met 18,000 of them since I left the war.
Because everybody, I was in Metvisa.
Yeah, sure.
Yeah.
It's a very small group.
And I think there was, during its entire time, if you took those,
numbers and translated into nine years and that. That's about 4,000 plus people. And only half of us
survived the war. Little less than half of us survived the war. So it's a small, small fraternity.
Yeah, yeah. Very elite. And I go to the SOA every year because there's 30 guys I like to drink
with that are like brothers. And rest of that hoopla with the people.
politicians and that. I've never been to a business meeting yet.
They've tried a number of times to shut the bar down during the business meeting.
And one time we got physical with the sergeant-at-arms, and they've given up on that idea.
We don't go there for that, you know.
And these days, well, when we first started the SOA, it was for recon.
And then we went, well, that's not fair.
The guys in the hatchet force should be in it too.
So we let the guys from the hatchet force in.
Then we let the guys that were at the launch sites in and the Covey riders and people like that.
And then when we were out doing things, I went to Africa for a while doing that.
I wasn't going all the time.
The colonels got in charge.
And then they started, they needed members.
So they said, well, if you served in a unit that supported.
Max Sox, that's how we got all the rotor heads in there.
Well, I didn't disagree with the helicopter crews that flew us in,
and then we're dumb enough to come back and pick us up.
But, you know, I didn't want their basketball control officer
and their, you know, their H&R guy or whatever they call them.
So you ended up with a lot of people that were ramps
that got blessed into the organization.
I got you.
But there are fewer and fewer of us left every year.
You know, the ranks are really, really thinning.
Yeah, yeah.
So what did you actually...
Pussing's dying off early?
Did you get out of service and then re-enlist in the Army?
No, no, no.
Straight across the board, transfer.
Well, yeah, had left one and had to join the other, basically.
That's how it worked in those days.
And you joined the Army to go McVisad?
No, no, I joined the Army to go Special Forces.
Okay.
And I got, I was in casual status, so they, you know, they sent me to Korea while I was waiting to get a slot.
Gotcha.
Yeah, we'll just put you over here.
You'll be comfortable.
Gotcha.
You already know what mosquitoes are like.
Let's take a quick break.
And when we come back, we'll get into.
selection.
Selection?
Well, I don't know if I want to go into that.
You don't?
I'm joking.
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All right, Nick, we're back from the break.
We're getting ready to get into selection.
Ah, well, selection.
Well, in those days, it was phase one, phase two, and phase three.
Phase one was in Camp McCall.
I can't remember how long it was.
I think it was like a month.
You went out and you learned basic patrolling,
you learned survival, you learned, you learned,
target recognition, all the things that, you know, woodcraft in that.
And you jumped in, and you lived in, in those days, we lived in tents, GP mediums.
And the only structures at Camp McCall were tar paper shacks for the headquarters
and the medic shack and the classrooms were, you know, open air or sometimes, you know, under canvas and that.
interesting
four weeks,
a really intensive training
with, you know, guys that,
the guy who,
funny story,
the guy who taught survival
was an E7 name
Rodney, I think was his first name,
Nail.
And Nail had a black eye patch
because he'd gotten shot
by an AK to his eye,
not one side.
And he was a typical
crusty old redneck,
Right. And, you know, he taught you how to, you know, they'd kill snakes and, you know, rabbits and other animals and teach you how to cook things, you know, take a chickens that wrap them in mud and then put them in the coals of a fire and go do patrolling all day.
When you came back, you just peel the mud off and it's roast chicken, right? Stuff like that.
So we were getting ready to finish up phase one.
was with a guy named Tony Anderson.
Tony got a DSC
when RT Kansas got wiped out.
And he was a
pool shark
before he'd come in the Army and that.
Real cool guy. His nickname was Fast Eddie.
And
Nail
is sitting, we were getting ready to go back to Ford Bragg
and go into our MOS training.
and Nail was telling us
well you know we ain't got no booze here
but you can get high
if you take the mortar charges
from the four deuce
because they looked like little cheese packets
so just bite off a little bit
it was nitroglissur.
So what he didn't tell us
was that all your capillaries explode
so Tony and I ate a little bit
too large of a chunk
and we ended up in Womack
Army Hospital and they thought we had meningitis.
We're laying in the hospital ward and the doctor comes in and he goes, he had his clipboard.
He goes, let me ask you something.
Do either one of you two gentlemen know Sergeant Nail?
Yes, sir.
I said, well, he usually gets one or two of the students in every class.
Holy shit.
You don't have meningitis, but you do have some damage to your capillaries and that.
Yeah.
But it was, you know, it was a good training.
A lot of good guys that I went through, you know,
a training group with that later, you know,
went over to become part of SOG.
At that time, they were still filling up the A-teams over there.
They were still active, and the Mike Force was active still.
Then I went to, from there, to weapons training.
And I was 11 Charlie.
Now I think it's an 18 Charlie, or I think they're all.
all 18 BBs now.
But you went to
small arms, pistols
first, then
submachine guns and carbines,
and then rifles and machine guns.
And then the next phase of that training
was heavy weapons training.
And it was both foreign and U.S.
So we shot, you know, the Brenn gun,
we shot the, you know, the RPD,
we shot, you know, the Madsen,
the Swedish K, all of those were in the curriculum and that, both classes, assembly,
disassembly, so you could do it in the dark.
And then finally, range, got to the range, and, you know, combat course, you know,
and regular marksmanship training and that with each weapon.
And then you transferred to mortars, and we trained on the four-duce, the 81, the 60,
Both the Russian 82 and the Russian equivalent of the 60.
And then recoilous rifles, the 57 millimeter, the 106, the Russian equivalent, and German equivalents in that.
And then the four deuce.
We did the four deuce and then the 105 howitzer.
So we learned up to the 105.
Wow.
doing both. And you'd train both in the gun crew and then the fire direction control and then the forward observers.
Live fire on the range is calling in fire while the rest of, you know, some of you were manning the gun,
some of you were the FDC and some of you were out there as forward observers and that.
Very intensive course, very compacted. So a lot of practical exercise combined with,
teaching in the classroom.
And then when you finish that,
meanwhile, those others
from your phase one
who were decided that
they were going to be Sparkies,
went to combo training.
And they did Morseco
day after day after day after day
after day after day.
And they learned how to operate
both our radios and the Soviet
radios and that.
And the engineers went off
and learned how to build
things, you know, framing, framing barracks, doing shit like that, and also blowing things up.
Very intensive course in demolitions on that. And then the radio engineers, well, yeah, the medics.
You know how medics are, right? You know, sick. If there's a strange, really goofy
religion anywhere in the world, you can bet both your medics are practicing.
Highly intelligent with the bedside banner of Dr. Mangala.
They go for a real long course, and in those days it was over a year.
They'd go to fly.
They'd go to the 300F1 course, and then they would come back and do dog lab.
and dog lab was they used to shoot dogs
and then their job was treat the wound
manage the wound
heal the wound
bring the dog back right?
Yeah, live tissue training.
And all the, you know, the cruelty
the animal people got on their case
and they changed over to Dewana goats
and the only step different is removing the Arab
from the back of the goat
but very intense
of course, to this day, I would rather have a Special Forces medic treat me than any doctor.
No kidding.
Yeah.
It's, in fact, there's a guy that teaches the SEAL teams, combat medicine, a guy named Ron Broughton, who was in Berlin with me.
He originally was in Project 404 in Laos.
And he came to Dead A, and he was a medic there, and eventually he runs like 20 emergency.
emergency rooms in Florida and teaches up at the, what is that, Little Creek, you know, combat
medicine there.
Yeah.
Muscled up, really dyed almost white, blonde hair and we call him Doc Savage.
Nice.
And he does have the bedside banner of Dr. Emmanuel.
It doesn't hurt that bad.
Yeah.
But Special Forces Medics, they 18-15.
what do they call them deltas?
Is that the same in the seals, 18 deltas?
Yeah.
Well, they're going through the Army's Delta course.
Yeah, absolutely wonderful course.
You know, Special Forces medics in the old days
could get licensed as a practicing physician
in over 20 countries.
No, couldn't. I didn't know that.
The training was that good and that well respected.
And to this day, it's one of the best courses
that the military offers.
Yeah.
Don't leave them below with your girlfriends
or household pets.
And then when you finish
with your MOS training, you went to phase three
and they brought everybody back together
and formed up teams, regular 12-man team.
There'd be two officers assigned to it.
They had gone through their own horse over here,
which, you know, taught them now
not to scratch their nuts with the salad fork or whatever.
And they would join the team, and then they'd jump you into Gobbler Woods exercise,
and you'd actually operate as an A team in an unconventional warfare scenario in that.
And phase three also had a real intensive class in the beginning of it,
which was called Methods of Instruction,
where they taught you how to teach, taught you how to teach the military way,
how to compress all that knowledge of four hours of data into one hour and make it stick.
So the dumbest guy in the class could get it.
And then you moved on from there and that.
And it taught you things like stage presence.
You know, don't walk around with Air Force gloves on, hands in your pockets.
Don't be a sword fighter with the stick, you know, with the stick.
And, you know, and how to tell jokes to lighten things up in that.
You know, some of the jokes I heard were really lame, too.
But that was a good part of that.
And they taught you the Special Forces operations as an A-team.
What each MOS's responsibility were, you know,
how to tie each other together with the team sergeant
and then with the officers and that.
And once you graduated from that,
in those days, you didn't get a flash
on the back of your beret.
a crest until you graduated from the Q course, as they call it, now.
Then you got a, before that you had a candy flash.
No, you didn't have a flash at all.
It was support troops that had the candy flash, the little ribbon,
the same colors as a group patches and that.
Okay.
Yeah.
And then once you were three qualified, that was the beginning.
You went to a group and you were actively assigned to a team
and you started operating in a special forces team,
you know, and whatever their missions were.
Where did you go?
I went to the sixth group.
Like I said, it was a holding area for people that,
and I was in a sixth group, I think, for like six months,
something like that.
We did a real interesting,
in those days, the Red Empire, Bling,
didn't have South America.
It was the eighth group,
which was stationed out of Panama.
And we did an MTT with the sixth group.
We went down with them, and we went to Bolivia.
And at that time, they were tracking down bandits in the mountains and that,
with the Bolivian Rinche, the Rangers, which were strange.
All of them were Indians, big barrel-chested.
You know, they all operate above 6,000 feet.
you know, in the flatlands, they can run forever.
Yeah.
But they were tracking them down, and they, we were providing radio operators and some,
I went down there as a mortar instructor, and that with the, with the two-inch or 60-millimeter.
It was easy to pack around in the mountains and get it, get it into battery real quick.
So they were just starting to use indirect fire.
when they caught, these bandit groups,
which eventually became the Cindero Luminosa,
were 30, 60, 100 man groups in that,
and they lived off raiding villages.
They'd move into a village.
They'd kill all the men.
They'd raped the women until they used them up
and throw all the bodies in the well
and move on to the next village.
And the Rangers were right behind them, trying to close them up.
And we tracked this one group in the time I was there for about 60 kilometers over the mountains
and finally caught them in makeshift bait camp and raided them and killed all of them
except about maybe 10 or 15 that escaped out of the net.
You were on that?
Yeah.
How many of them were there?
A little over 100 when they started.
Holy shit.
So you guys killed it?
And they, you know, 85, 90 people.
They were no match for the Bolivian Rangers.
You know, they were, you know, they were terrorizing the countryside
because nobody, the militias really didn't have the firepower to stand up to them.
And they were vicious, vicious, absolutely.
They killed the children and throw them down the well.
And then got done raping the women and killed them and throw them down the well.
You know, poison the water and move on to the next target.
What was the point of them?
that. Why were they doing that?
They were bandits.
They were just...
They were just bandits.
And they, eventually,
the communists came in and
kind of moved them and cadried them
and changed them into
an insurgent force
against the
government and that.
It was interesting.
How do I put this?
While we were up there,
We found an ink of grave.
And I removed a couple of terracotta figures that were inside that grave.
And stuck them in my rucksack to bring them back because they were really.
One of them was a corn god.
And the other one was like they were Loki.
You know, and I had them in my rucksack, right?
And when we were in the mountains, they came around.
And they came around, they pulled, the sergeant would pull out a,
what looked like a bar of soap, kind of a brown-colored bar of soap,
take a penknife, cut a sliver up, give it to you, and said, chew this.
And it helps you assimilate oxygen in the high altitudes.
Well, it was Coke.
It was cocaine-based material on that.
So normally they would give one bar to every three or five men and that.
And they ended up, he was giving me one bar by myself.
So I wasn't used it.
After a while, I didn't need it.
And I was just chucking it in by my rucksack.
So he flew back to Bragg.
They'd line us up and customs comes.
They're going to search everybody's bag.
And they dump my bag out.
And I was really worried they'd find the two little caracotta thing.
They weren't even interested in that.
Because it says on the outside of the cardboard box, you know,
product de coca, right?
So as soon as that fell out,
they were interested, only that.
So they got me standing there,
and I had like five or six bars in my rucksack.
And he goes, what's this?
So the stuff they gave was to assimilate oxygen
in high altitudes and that,
and they're like, really?
So they called for my Sergeant Major
who was Sergeant Major, who was Sergeant Major,
little short guy.
It looked like a fire plug.
they painted a face on it.
And he comes out there and, you know,
what the fuck have you done now?
I don't know.
And he's standing there with me,
and the two cousins guys are standing there,
and we're acting like, what's the problem here?
And the older guy, the younger guy, turns to the older guy,
he goes, you know, I don't think they know what we're talking about.
And he goes, I'm pretty sure they don't.
They ended up confiscated them,
and I got through with my two little terracotta figures
in that, you know.
But it was...
Congratulations.
Oh, yeah.
Oh, yeah.
But...
We'll have to add drug smuggler to your introduction.
Oh, yeah, thanks.
Yeah.
You know, the, it was...
I thoroughly enjoyed Special Forces training,
and I thoroughly enjoyed the process
by which I finally, finally got on an A team.
And then started...
I came back from Bolivia,
and about a month.
later, I got my orders to go to Vietnam.
And I was supposed to go to the mic force.
And when we got to Vietnam, I sent this guy, Bernie O'Connell.
Never have the Irish involved with anything you're doing.
Because they hear loud noises.
They think it's awake, right?
So, when we got to Netrang, I sent them with our orders.
I said, go over and make sure we don't get policed up by one of those press gangs.
because we were at the regular Repo Depot in Saigon, the Tonsiduto wherever.
And I sent him over with the paperwork for the, we were supposed to go to the Mike Force.
And he comes, because the press gangs from the regular Army divisions,
we were looking for NCOs, and they'd pay somebody off in admin,
and they'd take four or five out of the lift and assign them as platoon sojourns or squad leaders to the division.
He comes back
And I had
He brought back some
Bombie Bob beer in a net
And I had stolen a CO2 fire extinguisher
We were busy
Lowering its body temperature in the room
And he goes
Oh good thing you sent me over there
Because they
We were on a list to go to the big red one
And I'm going
Oh
But obviously it's not all bad news
because he's back here and he's gritting.
He goes, I ran into a guy.
Now, Bernie was mid to late 40s.
He was a buck sergeant.
He had been a master sergeant.
He got out of the Army
and got into high-tech field of air conditioning.
But he didn't have the accounting skills,
so he went bankrupt,
so he rejoined the Army.
Bulbous nose, Irish face.
It looked like an oversized leprecha.
So he's, he's, I got us a good deal.
This guy I know, he was in the Davy Crockett platoon with me in Germany.
You know what the Davy Crockett was?
It was a weapon that was deployed down to the, I think, battalion level.
And what it was was an oversized mortar that shot a one kiloton atomic shell.
Holy shit.
And the instructions were, get in the battery, get the gun ready, fire the cannon, and try and get a ridge line between you and the target before it goes off.
You know, it was Tone and all the Army divisions at that time.
I think Bernie might have been slapping leather to the guy's wife for a while.
Comes back and he goes up.
I got us assigned to the special forces unit.
There's a waiting line to get in.
The only waiting line in this country is at the airport to get out.
So, no, no, no, no.
It's a special unit, it's all voluntary in that.
And that's when my heart fell to my asshole.
And it goes, it's CCN.
Well, I knew some people that had been in projects, CCCC, CCED whatsoever.
And all of them were nuttier than a squirrel.
So I go, oh, this can't be good, but it is voluntary.
So we left Natrang, we went up to Danang, and as we were, when we were met at the airport,
the most decrepit deuce in the half I've ever seen in my life was our transportation
from the airport to CCN, FOB4.
And driving it was another friend of Bernice that he'd known in the regimental combat team,
in Korea, who had a plate in his head.
He also had instructions from the Army.
He was never to have pharmaceuticals and alcohol in his bloodstream,
and he had both when he picked us up.
Stevie Comerford got a DSC,
and he's driving like a madman.
When we pulled into the compound,
they were launching,
one of the launch sites was shut down,
they were using Danang is the launch site.
When we pulled into the compound, there was a cobra on fire on the PSP.
And Bernie would be going, oh, this is probably like one of those show camps, you know, with a, you know, crest on everything, everything cemented, colored stones and that.
You know, Bernie, this doesn't look like one of those show camps.
This might be a little different in that.
And that was my introduction to CCN, basically.
Wow.
Sorry to travel so fast.
No.
No.
Yeah.
So you get there, do you know what Mack Sogg is yet?
I knew what Max Sogg was because I knew some guys that were there before.
And it was, I was proud to be there.
It was also in the back of my mind once, this is a volunteer unit.
This is a volunteer unit.
This is a voluntary unit.
But, you know, peer pressure, you're never going to say, I don't think I could cut it.
How many of you guys went?
I arrived with a, I think there were nine of us.
Nine of you.
That got a sign there.
And a year later, three of us were still running Racon.
Shit.
And the rest were either wounded or dead, you know.
But we had a real high attrition rate, you know.
So anyway, we processed the end.
We pull in the front gate, get off the deuce and a half.
And I see these really ragged-looking fucking gypsies sitting on this.
They had a, you know what, a mule.
The vehicle, Marines had them.
They had a 106 mounted on it.
It's a flat, looks like a coffee table on wheels.
Open seat with a steering wheel and that.
Anyway, there's five or six of them hanging around on it
would cut off jungle fatigues and wearing various parts of uniforms
and that drinking wine.
And when we got out the truck, the cat calls started,
new meat, this is great, whatsoever.
And the guy, they came out, and they took us in, they processed us in.
And I think two guys went to the hatchet force,
and the rest of us got assigned to recon.
So we got our briefing from the Sergeant Major.
You know, this is a voluntary unit.
This is what we do.
We're a strategic recon outfit.
You're going to be assigned to a recon team.
when you get down to Recon Company,
the Recon Company commander will brief you
and assign you to your teams.
Bye, dandy.
We go down to Recon Company,
and my first introduction to Larry T. Manus
was a recon company commander.
Former E-7 looked like a heavy gravity planet inhabitant,
thick-neck, square-faced, crew-cut, blonde,
And we're standing outside the orderly room, and the door bursts open, and a body comes flying out and lands in the sand.
And the guy kind of shakes his head, gets up, stumbles out down into the company and that, and the door swings open, and there's Mainis.
I'm the recon company commander, and this is your briefing, your orientation,
and spoiling my drinking time,
you can call me, sir,
you can call me motherfucker, sir,
or you can just hide when I'm looking for you.
First man.
And I, you know, first of all,
I recognize that this is a retread.
You know, I mean,
that kind of squat bread, you know,
is immediately, you know, identifiable.
So I said, sir,
you know, worst thing I could have done.
is this is a voluntary unit.
Yeah, it is, peckerhead.
You a barracks lawyer or whatnot?
And said, well, what did that guy do?
He wanted to quit.
And I hate quitters.
Since you're so astute in that,
I'm going to sign you without even interview.
And I'm going to sign you to R.T. Habu.
And you can go over there and make that hooch a collective IQ with three.
And that's how I got assigned to Habu.
Right on.
I love Larry.
He's in a hospice at home now.
Oh, man.
Just absolutely the best officer I ever served under.
Larry had been in projects in the very beginning,
when he's still wearing box hats, you know,
yellow name tapes that should have, yeah.
And they protected us from all the bullshit
and took the flack for all our shenanigans on that.
Yeah.
Sounds like a good man.
Yeah, well, when I stole the half track, he confiscated it.
Not because he wanted it for any other purpose
than it had two big whip antennas on it with little guidelines and no radios,
just so it would slap back and forth when he slammed on the brakes and that, you know,
need this air and I'm confiscating it.
Yeah.
I think it ended up in security company and somewhere else.
So how did it go when you got to, when you checked into Habu?
When what?
When you checked into Habu, how did it go?
Yeah, well, they had just come back from Quantree and they were on stand down.
And they, do you need to throw up or?
Nope.
Oh, I'm doing this.
Just reading my notes.
Yeah.
Jimmy Johnson and Mini Mac were in the hooch.
Snake was up at headquarters.
He was the one zero.
And Danzer, Danzer and Mac and Jimmy Johnson.
So they're sitting there to clean them weapons.
Mac was cleaning a 22 with a silencer.
And I walked in, and he goes,
before you say anything, you're obviously the new guy.
and you've obviously run into Di-Weenis.
Did you question him?
Did you make a comment?
What did you do to get assigned here?
And I go, well, I asked him about being a volunteer unit.
He says, well, he sent you here just to annoy us because you're obviously a Yankee.
About that time, Castillo, the Cuban, I think he was on Bolton's team at that time.
walks in, oily little shit that he is.
And he goes over to the refrigerator, opens it up, takes a beer out of it,
and starts to hold it up like that, and Mac pings it with the 22,
and it starts peeing it all over the floor.
Holy shit.
And he never misses the beat.
He goes, just as a cautionary, don't have anything you value around these two,
or they'll bubify it.
And he drank the beer and went out.
That was my introduction to Habo.
Right on, man.
And it was, we clicked right from the beginning.
And Mac,
Mac and I stayed together, I think, the longest.
I stayed on Habu until, like, two months before I left,
and I took over as a one-zero crusader.
And, of course, there were some chicanery in there.
We had convinced Bainis that I stuttered when I got,
excited. So he's absolutely no good on the radio, and they won zero in those days normally
carried the radio in that until Boudreau caught us chuckling about it and then threatened us.
He said, I'm going to tell Manus what you two have been doing. So, but we ran together
solid for 11 months and did some interesting stuff. And we got cookie. Cookie was a bonus.
Robert Cook
from the Dahlia, Georgia,
olive skin
had mannerisms of a
Mississippi riverboat gambler.
I had a complete
solid eyebrow all across here
and it called everybody stretch.
Well, stretch.
He was
first time I saw him and he was a ranger.
So he had ranger strings
on everything.
Ranger string to his
compass, ranger string to his
camouflaged stick, Ranger string
that is a peanut radio
all packed it. I used
to tell Mac we'd just just throw him down in front
of the NBA. They'll get all
tangled up and all those strings and we'll be
able to escape.
But really intense
professional guy.
On the team,
Mac was a 1-0. He was a
Bucksart and he was actually
I outranked him.
When
When Manus finally did interview me, he goes, I'm assigning you to RT Habu, and the one zero now is
McLaughren.
He's a buck sergeant.
You got any grief with that?
I said, does he come back with the same number of people he went out with?
What does that got to do with?
He said, well, if he does, I'm only going to change his diapers if that's necessary.
So he was a one-zero, really, really cool, calm, under fire.
Never got flustered
that Alabama
well
I guess we're going to have to move
because it's getting kind of hot here
and Danzer
actually was the
was the 1-0
but they had just come back
from
or right after that
I went to
I think I went to
1-0 school
because you couldn't run Laos
unless you went to 1-0 school
down a long time
and they ran the bright light on Doc Watson and baby Jesus Lloyd,
both of whom have been lost on a mission up in the D.L.
or in the Ashow.
The bright light went in.
Danzer was a one-zero because Snake had gone home on emergency leave.
And they got on the ground.
The Ashaw Valley is built in a series of,
of steps.
It goes up, levels off, goes up, levels off, got real sheer.
And they got inserted on the top of the plateau.
And they started working their way down.
Because what had happened is that they pulled Sammy Hernandez out.
They got in a hellacious firefight.
And they pulled Sammy Hernandez out on strings.
And Doc watched it in the big.
Maybe Jesus were on another set of strings, and the helicopter lost power.
And they were on the strings underneath it.
That slammed into the cliff face.
When they found both of them, they were both dead.
They were hanging in the trees.
Max said they looked like they were asleep, just hanging there in their harness.
But they could see them, but they couldn't reach them.
They were out about, they were up at the level where they could stand and see out
and to them, but they couldn't reach them.
They were trying to get long branches and that,
try and pull them back in and recover the bodies.
And they decided, it got dark,
and they decided to spend the night on the top of the plateau.
So they, it wasn't far.
It was like maybe 100 meters to the top.
They got back up on the top, set up in the RON,
and a half-horse shoe thing.
And five o'clock in the morning,
thereabouts, they heard trucks
pulling up the trail
on the top and troops
dismounting.
And they unloaded about three
companies, the NVA, and
started sweeping. They knew the team
was in there somewhere.
They started sweeping down
the plateau.
And they opened
up on them with an RPG.
Two RPGs.
Two rounds hit.
And
one of
Horton was with them too
one of
some of the shrapnel blew his lower
leg off and
it was partially attached but it was
it was off in that
and they started
dialing everybody in fighting
and they were throwing stick grenades
at them in that and eventually
there was nowhere to go so they
started going down to cliff
just stepped off and went
I heard different
stories. Mac tried to throw Horton to a tree for him to grab on. He didn't make it.
Went all the way down. And Mac tried to jump out to the same tree and didn't make it,
landed on top of them. Everybody got down to the bottom. Danzer got blown off the top of the
cliff. Damn. He was behind his rucksack, and the radio was in the rucksack, and he had the
handset, and either a grenade or an RPG hit nearby and blew him off.
He ended up at the pace of the cliff with nothing but the handset in his hand.
And he was shocked.
He wasn't functioning totally.
Cliff Newman, who was also a 1-0 had been strap hanging with him,
he took over a command of the team.
And they had one of the chase medics was also with a duck Woody.
and he was patching up Horton's leg
and dealing with the other wounded that were there
and Mac was covering the ridge.
There was like a cut in it.
The MBA were trying to come down, hopping from rock to rock.
And he was like at the carnival, picking them off
between the rocks and that.
And they,
Newman just performed outshadney.
He got the, you know, the 9mm pistol
and I think a silver star.
for that.
And eventually went and ran a recon club for us after that.
He was basically responsible for getting everybody out that was still living and breathe it.
And they extracted them with a CH 53.
And they worked over the top of that ridge line, turned it into a killing ground with air support
and got a heavy hook in there and pulled them out of there.
He was just recently
They're trying to get his silver star change to a
Medal of Honor
Which he really deserves for his actions that day
It went all the way through the chief of staff of the Army
All the way through the Secretary of Defense
And then it was approved under the Biden administration
And then when the new administration came in
They just killed it out of politics
They killed it.
They killed it.
Why?
Why?
Why?
That's that now.
And we think it's because the guys who approved it were all Biden appointees.
But Newman earned that medal seven times over that day.
You know, this thing would approval, higher awards from a lesser award.
When Paris Davis got, do you know him?
I don't.
Paris Davis read his silver star and his Medal of Honor, which he eventually got.
He was a colonel.
He was a young captain at the time.
He did stuff on a mission that they make movies out of.
Went out from the, you know, saved people that were wounded, dragged them back into the perimeter, went back out, captured prisoner, brought him back,
and basically got everybody out of it and that.
And I think he got a silver star for it.
The Army didn't like him because he was black.
In those days, the Armor Corps is what ran the Army.
And there was a lot of racial prejudice.
And they thought he was just uppity.
And they weren't going to give him a medal honor.
He got out and retired as a colonel.
He was my commander at Devons for a while.
Best group commander ever had.
And he eventually, the guys got together.
And they went back and redid it and got his Medal of Honor here last year.
Oh, man, right on.
He was at the convention last year.
I loved Paris.
He was special.
He, uh, I, uh, I had to go to race relations classes.
And in those days, you had race relations.
Race relations.
Equal opportunity race relations.
They picked two NCOs.
So they picked me and a guy named Johnny King, who was a full-blooded chakaria patching, right, to go to the classes.
And there's guys from my battalion, right?
And there's two guys from third battalion, whatever, two guys from headquarters and all that.
And we're supposed to be, learn how to be correct, politically correct, and be able to hold classes to train the rest of the chimpanzees and the technique.
of being politically correct.
So we're in this classroom,
and they've got a guy,
he's an associate professor
or something like that from Boston College,
complete with the Revolution knitted black power cap on
and the dreadlocks and all that.
And he's talking on about, you know,
well, you know, we've got to be careful
about how we call each other.
And, you know, these things have been done bad,
to black people in the past.
And when I walked into the room,
I turned the thermostat up to 94.
So King is sitting in the front row.
He's unbuttoned his field jacket
that was nodding off.
Everybody was nodding off except me.
I'm watching to see all of them fall asleep.
And the instructor came over and kicked King's foot.
said, wake up.
And he uncoiled out of that seat
and pulled a cruiser bowie out of somewhere
and had it against this guy's throat.
He's going, they used to kill my people for sport
and I still like him better than I like you.
That's it.
Out of here.
We got sent back to group.
I got sent back because I was with it.
I hadn't done anything.
Well, I turned the thermostat up,
but nobody knew it at a time.
Yeah.
Yeah, Paris.
You had one job and that was to keep an eye on that blanket ass savage and you failed.
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What was your first mission with Mac V-Sach?
It was a, hmm, we went to the, what was it, the Ashow?
I think it was the Ashok.
lower end to the ashow
and it was a
it was a recon mission
linear recon we were supposed to
follow this trail and see if we could find
commonware so another team could come in and put a wire
tap on it and we
landed and this
target particular target
was in an old caldera
and the trail ran up
through the center of it.
And it was reported there was a North Vietnamese regiment in that Caldera somewhere.
And we were going to go in and do Lydia recon and partial area recon inside that six-by-six
no bomb.
And when they put us in, we came under fire immediately.
As soon as the choppers lifted off, everybody in the world's.
started shooting at us.
And I remember I came here, that wouldn't mention of it.
Anyway, my job on the team was to fight the team as a unit, mine and cooks.
And Mack handled the radio, made sure air, you know, the Covey got air into us when we needed
it, did all that stuff, kept in communications with Covey.
So I'm fighting my portion of the team, laying them in down below and that.
I saw these NVA break out of this ravine.
Like, we're down here like this.
Over here is this ravine, and there's a ravine that follows up that way.
I saw him break cover and run up in that ravine,
and I started moving up to Tell Mac,
and I saw a bunch of three or four stick grenades come up out of that ravine
and land right where he was.
So I run up, they got the radio, and they got the midget at the same time.
bad. So I get up there
and he starts yelling at me, will you please
get down your
draw and fire? And he's
got his pants down.
And I look at
when he's
shocking to see if his junk is still
there because he's got the shrapnel wound on the
inside of his leg.
And I'm thinking to myself, this is the coolest
son of bitch in the world. He's masturbating.
He's got the
And you look like that.
Went down and grab a cubby was on the line.
They go, you'll have to wait a minute.
The one zero is masturbating.
You said that?
Oh, yeah.
And Dave Cheney, big, big piute India, was that cubby writer.
You go, well, besides that, what else you got?
We called in air strikes and eventually pulled out.
I remember we got back and I had my basic load normally when I was carrying a car 15.
was one, two, three, four canteen cup covers with six magazines,
one of which was a 30-round magazine, and six 30-round magazines and a AK-vest.
Two canteen covers with mini-grenades, two M-667 baseball grenades, and a WP grenade.
And plus extra stuff for, you know, if we carried a machine,
We carried a belt of ammo and a thing.
And when I got back on, back to the launch site,
I had two magazines left.
Holy.
And my pistol ammunition, everything else I'd shot.
I would have blown up a nuke and told them it was kids playing with fire
for it would have helped.
But it was just, it was that intense.
And I'm telling Mac, I said, God damn, that was intense.
He goes, that was a train of mission.
So you're kidding me.
So now, and the yards like you, by the way,
because you've got dialogue when you're hyperventilating.
That was my first mission.
Sheesh.
It just went on from there.
I mean, you got into the rhythm.
You know, you go back to the launch site.
You'd either pull a bright light for a team that was going in,
or you were done, and you went back to Danang,
and you get three or four days off,
and then you went back into that process again,
go into isolation, get your target, go to launch site.
How did that, I mean, how did that compare
to your Marine Corps deployment to Vietnam?
Oh, the world of difference, world of difference.
What was the major differences?
The intensity of combat.
Really?
And you have no idea.
Well, you do probably.
How loud combat is.
And the smell and the Deuteris
the dust, the explosions, the, you know, the blood.
It's, you're many times fighting at very close range with these.
We were heavy enough that we could give a company a black eye.
You hit us and we were going to hit you so fucking hard that you'd want to back off.
And that's how we survived.
We'd pick the point and we would go for that point to break through and break out.
and get some running room
and then find our terrain that we could defend in that.
And it was in that short time period, like I said,
you'd use a five, six, seven magazines
just doing that breakout.
Wow.
And grenades and anything else you could throw out there.
Claymore's on coat hangers.
Claymore's on coat hangers.
Hey, cap of them.
We'd have them everywhere and ready to go
and you put a coat hanger on it.
And it's got the clacker in the bag.
You pull the claymore out,
and you throw it up in the tree,
and then run to the end of the wire
and fire it off, break contact.
And make sure it's facing the right way.
Yeah.
And then run off and then it just clears a path
or throw it in front of you
and blow it off, so you've got a clear path.
And a lot of many grenades.
A lot of many grenades.
How much?
How many guys were you rolling out with?
Normally, it was the three of us, or sometimes just Mack and I, but three of us, after a while, that was three Americans, and from six to eight mountain yards.
Sometimes we'd take ten martin yards with us up to lunch, like in case we got tasked with a bright light.
We'd have extra, extra guns on the team.
Because remember, they got to have enough helicopters to get you in and get you out.
So we can't overload them in that, yeah.
But normally, six to eight yards and two or three of us.
How often are you guys going out?
Oh, well.
Every night?
Every what?
How often are you guys going out?
Well, the rotation was you'd go to the launch site.
The only two times they gave us a target after we ran a target while we were up there.
And we did the isolation thing in the hooch at the time,
and it was an ambush.
We were trying to get a prisoner.
But most of the time you'd go to a launch site,
you'd launch, do your thing, be back in five days,
get two or three days off,
go back in the system, go back up to launch site,
three or five days, back, sometimes one day.
you know, after a while, I was telling what's his name, did it?
I had one target.
I can't remember whether it was Hotel 6 or, I think it was DM10, the militarized zone
tent.
It was that caldera thing again.
I ran it four times, and my cumulative time on the ground was a little over an hour
and four times.
Wow.
That, you know, like I said, it was intense.
if you got caught or they thought they could catch you with your pants down,
they put everything they could to kill you and capture you
because they knew if you got on the radio and got the air power,
they had to grab you by the belt buckle before that.
So it was right at the first edge, full push trying to get on top of you.
Now once you could break contact, kill enough of them to make them back off.
Then you could start doing an IA drone, getting a path.
to where you could grab some terrain.
When we looked at the target areas,
we specifically picked terrain
that was in the neighborhood
of where the LZ was
or along our path
if we got hit, we're going to go here
because that's defensible.
We can't defend it here
or over here, but we can there
if we get air power in.
Shit.
Yeah, it brings back a lot of memories.
I'll bet it does.
Yeah.
sometimes I can smell it.
Are you doing all right?
Yeah.
No brains, no headaches.
How's that?
Yeah, I don't normally get weepy.
I get weepy over the little people.
Yeah, we...
Our T. Habu was a brew war party.
Plain and simple.
Just like dog soldiers, you know, from the crow.
When we hit the ground, the last people
in the world you wanted to run into was us.
Just the finest
truce I ever worked with were the yards.
No kidding.
Yeah.
How long were you there?
Huh?
How long are you there?
How long were you with that specific unit?
Oh, for 11 months straight with Habu.
And when I took over Crusader, they were also a brew team.
So, you know, we had Sadang,
brew, Radei, all different tribes.
The brew looked like Bushmen, real short,
you know, very, you know, sometimes almost African features
in some of them.
The Sedang, lighter skinned, and they filed their teeth.
So they look, when they grinned at you, they looked like wolves.
No shit.
They had tattoos.
And Radee looked like Polynesians.
Very good,
looking people. Beautiful. All of them are beautiful people, but
the Rade women are stunning.
And then we had some Jari, and some of the teams were
Vietnamese, and some of the teams were
Vietnamese and Nungs, big fucking Chinese.
Rick Hendricks had all Nungs. And he couldn't remember
their names, so he named him after Donald Duck's nephews.
Huey, Dewey, Louis, whatever.
And Hughie spoke English like he was from Southern California.
Buddy story.
My team's going to Quantree, the launch site.
And Hendricks' team is coming back.
Or no, we're coming back.
We're at Quantree.
We're getting ready to go back to Danang.
And Hendricks team comes up there.
He's got seven nungs, Huey, Dewey, Louie, whatever.
And they're on, I don't know who thought this up.
They came in on a caramoo, and there was two donut dollies on board.
As we're laying in the shade waiting for the caribou to turn around and get on it, go back to Nang.
And Hendrickson and his team start filing off, you know, with all their man jewelry and that, clink, clink, you know,
and they're coming down, and the preceding them are the two d'ang.
donut dollies.
And they're going, well, I can't believe this.
I can't believe that those gooks were on the plane with us.
You know, I will never.
One of them had this face, I swear, it looked like a horse.
It was long.
And the other was kind of portly.
And they were all outraged, you know, going whatever.
They go over towards flight control over there and that, and Hendricks comes out.
Hendricks is going, he's kind of chuckling to himself.
And that, here's what happened.
But they're on the plane and they're in orbit getting ready to land and that.
And horse face starts going, well, what are these gooks doing on the plane with us?
You know, why are we here with these gukes and everything?
And Hendricks is, Huey started in by, well, actually, are you official army prostitutes?
Is that what that uniform is?
And that blaked their eyes up wide open.
This is a, I think it's a great idea.
But I actually own a whorehouse in the Trang,
and I don't think I could get five bucks a trick for both of you
unless there was a werewolf involved.
Yeah, all in perfect English, right?
And Hendricks tries to throw water on the fire,
and he goes, well, you know, I know,
you have to understand they're going on a dangerous mission.
They, you know, they may not say the best of things in that.
And he says, I understand your mission being Red Cross
and all that, where you put up the, you know, the...
the maps with the name the state.
Some lucky guy gets an extra donut and that.
And he says, look here.
He sticks his finger out through his fly.
And he goes, looks like the state of Florida.
Everything ended there.
And we ended up, the guy from the flight light comes out.
You need to get on that caribou and get it on now.
They've contacted the provost martial line.
They're on their way here right now.
Yeah, Hendrix.
Him and his Nungs.
The Star English pupil.
Man.
You know, I was talking to our mutual friend, John Stryker Meyer, before you got here.
Yeah, Tilt hides a lot of his sins.
He had a couple questions for it.
He wanted to know about the pet monkey at CCN.
Buckin monkey.
Mac had a pet monkey.
I don't know where he acquired a spider monkey.
I know.
It was actually, I think it might have been a gibbon.
And it was a nasty little piece of shit
We had a pole
With a perch on it outside our hooch
And of course, Sergeant Major's like
Billy Waw's going, get rid of that fucking monkey
And I don't want to see that fucking monkey
And Mac
Mac kept it just to aggravate
The Sergeant Major
All the dogs in Recon Company hated this thing
Because it would sit on his perch
scream at him, roll up its shit
And throw at him
And all of them wanted, most of all, UGMO.
UGMO was a mixed breed, two of which weren't from this planet.
It kind of looked like a sharp pay that had cancer.
And Cook and I were secretly feeding it screwdrivers with Darba.
So I hated the thing.
Cook hated it more because the monkey would break into our hooch
and find anything that belonged to him and either chew it,
shit on it, or do something else with it.
Wouldn't bother my stuff or Max always went after cook stuff.
So one night we got sick of it.
Get rid of his goddamn monkey once and for all.
Mack was,
Mac went downtown,
and we were in the hooch.
We didn't want to go downtown.
We'd been at the club,
and we'd been drinking.
So we started feeding the monkey,
Darbon and screwdrivers at an accelerated pace
until finally,
it started to have storm, right?
And we were sitting in the doorway,
watching the monkey,
out there, rolling it up, shit, throwing it at the dogs that are over down here.
And finally, it just went, and fell over backwards and hit the ground, and they ripped it to
fur and bones in about five minutes.
The dogs did?
The dogs did.
Right?
And so we're, before that, we had thrown the monkey on Lamar when he came back from the club,
and he tried to shoot it.
hit UGMO instead.
So UGMO was out of the pack at that point.
So we decided to cover, it was lightning, right?
So we go, well, we can cover up this crime.
So we set fire to the pole and the remains on the ground.
So when Mackham stumbled back in there later on the night,
he found the monkey and woke us up and he went,
oh, it must have been a lightning that hit it in that.
And he goes,
And actually, we thought we got away with it.
And as we were getting ready to go breakfast, he goes, by the way,
I think it was Pully.
Pully told me all about how my monkey died.
So that's what happened to the monkey.
He used to, the monkey could sit on his head and he'd like some kind of weird hat,
and he'd go, how do I look?
It looks like that monkey's got an ugly growth on its ass.
I hated that thing.
We offered to buy him another one.
He goes, nah, you two
his pets are enough.
What is with the World War II helmet?
Well,
family heirloom.
I wanted my luger.
I had a luger.
So I told my mom,
send my luger over to me, and she sent the helmet
to.
The day I got it,
and patted the helmet was a fruitcake.
Even the yards.
won't eat fruit cake.
Really?
They, uh,
gosh,
number 10.
So I get that,
I get that,
she'd put my luger in a family-sized box of Cheerios.
Uh,
the only dry cereal we got at the mess hall was grape nuts,
you know,
a little hard,
crunchy rocks.
So Cheerios was like a special thing.
So I run over to the Messall.
And,
uh,
I'm sitting there with Mac and cookie.
We all got our little bowls and the milk and everything.
And we're having Cheerio's,
and that. As I'm pouring it out, the barrel of the luger falls out into my bowl,
just as Mainus walks up to the table. And then came to the handle and the receiver and the
magazines, and he goes, well, how did he say? How did he put it? And he goes, what are those?
That doesn't look like a box of Cracker Jacks, my man. But the helmet was fun to, I wore it on
bright lights, where you're going in, you know you've got to shoot. I figured, you know, the NBA
go, who cited the Germans on?
And other people borrowed it.
Eldon borrowed it one time.
Bardswell.
And who else was it?
I wouldn't let Jimmy Johnson wear it
because he looked like something really grotesque.
Big ears hanging out from underneath it.
But yeah, I brought it back.
When I came back, I had it in my luggage, my bags.
And the MPs tried to confiscate it.
And everybody that was there ganged up on it.
No, no, no, no, no.
That was sent by his mom to him.
And they just, okay.
So I managed to get it back to the States.
A pissed-off girlfriend got rid of it.
Uh-oh.
I was offered $10,000 for that helmet.
I'll bet.
With my name and pictures of me with it and that it was worth $10,000.
which I bring up to her once in a while.
And you missed out on that one.
What is with the Sought-off RPD?
A lot of guys had, well, not just me.
Before I got mine, the Philippine Armours up at S-4 would saw them off,
make sure that it was just the right length
that you didn't fuck up the rate of fire too much.
it's we had SOTOF M60s too
the SOTOF M60s had a tendency
for the fucking barrel to fall out
in mid-stroke
the RPD did not have that problem
and it slightly slowed
the cyclic rate of fire
but it sounded like a 50 caliber
don't doom do do do do do do and
some of us like Castro I did on mine too
I put an oil funnel on the front of it.
And when that thing went off, it really sounded like a 50,
and it would shoot a gout of blue-green plasma out about six feet in front of it.
At night, it was horrifying.
But lighter, easier to move around into bush,
which you'd carry a lot more ammo with it because, you know,
it's 52 instead of, or 39 instead of 51.
so the extra weight there in the shells and that.
And I got so I can make it sing.
And it was real effective on bright lights.
You need a lot of firepower.
You need it down.
You need something that can chop through brush to get to them.
The RPD is your weapon.
Nice.
Excellent for that.
I taught myself how to load the...
You lift a cover just like you do on an M60 and that,
but it's got a feeder string.
that comes out of the drum
that you have to put through and pull out
and then slam the lid
and then you're back in, but if it's in the drum,
if it's in a belt that still has a feeder clip,
but you've got to feed it through,
hold it, pull it through to get it out.
I taught myself how to do that by reaching over
and doing that and being able to then slam the lid down.
But I wanted something that was,
that I could protect myself with.
You know, I had to piss.
pistol, high power that I carried, or the Silas 22, if I was carrying it, we might stumble
on somebody that we could capture.
But I had the armorers make me a sawed-off 12-gauge, coach gun, that long with the
little pistol handle on that, two barrels, and I carried 25 rounds for it in my 10-0.
vest and one of the up here
either in loops or in the pockets
if I had a vest on. Otherwise
I kept them in a canteen cup
cover. And I added
in a slide holster in a
small of my back. So when I had to
reload the gun, I'd be reloading
it with this hand and I'd pull that
12 gauge out so I could cover myself.
And
I started, I was using double
a lot buck and slug.
And then I
came up with a bright idea that slug
just wasn't doing the job that it should.
So I started, I took the double-a-buck out.
I left the bottom four.
And then I put, I was putting nickels in there to start with.
And I started counting up how much that was going to cost me.
And I went, hmm.
So I started using a five dong piece.
It's a brass coin the same size as a nickel.
And it's brass.
So I could put four of the,
those in on top of the buck shot at the base of it, and then three rounds of a buck,
you know, the balls on top of that and they close it up, seal it.
That at close range, both barrels will blow a man in half.
I know that for a fact.
You've seen, you've blown a man and half.
That guy came up on me in the elephant grass, and I let loose at about eight feet.
and his legs were there
and his top of his body went there
because the brass doesn't deform
and it comes out like little saw blades
or flat
and it just cut them in half
I was surprised myself how
you know how bad it was
and after that that was the load
for the shotgun
what were the slugs doing
why do you say they weren't doing the job
there wasn't enough of them
to really get a pattern,
they either,
too many of them went out to the side.
Gotcha.
Rather than hitting a center or mass.
The flat coins work better
because it held together as a mass.
You know, and it,
it was devastating.
It would cut down brush, too.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But, you know, you learn and you adapt.
You, you know, you do.
did all kinds of crazy shit with guns.
How many times were guys sneaking up on you?
I think three times that I actually had to use the shotgun.
Because I was quick reloading that gun.
I could drop the old drum, put a new drum in,
and get in a matter of seconds.
Just when we were, I was always nervous about somebody coming up on me.
When I'm crouched down or bent over the gun,
I didn't want to get shot.
and having the shotgun handy was uh you know
max only complaining
quit waving that thing around
yeah
I'm only going to shoot you on intent
yeah
that was a good weapon
good weapon
did the killing bother you
did the killing bother you
did it get to you
most of them were jumbled together
years afterwards some of them are well i had a it's in the book i had a ghost that haunted me for a long
time what a ghost i would come back when i was you know i'd have i had a malaria relapse and he'd be
visited and when i'd get tired or you know didn't take care of my my drinking and that i'd wake up in
and nightmares.
It was a 16-year-old, 15-16-year-old kid, MBA.
He had, he came up on me real quick.
Well, actually, I fell on top of him.
I got blown.
We were trying to dig in on this little incline in that,
and they were pushing us, and a grenade went off
and blew me and one of the other yards.
down in a little gully that was behind us
and that they were coming up it
and I landed in amongst about five or six of them
and the only thing I had was an entrenching tool
and I killed him with the entrenching tool
and I remember him like I say
I don't think about him often
but I remember he was the same age as my little brother
fuck man
the others
I remember him screaming, yelling, teeth beared, coming at us,
or they came up, I was on it real quick, and I dropped them.
You know, and he didn't really get to look in their eyes or see their face.
You know, you hear them kicking around and screaming after they were on the ground and that,
but most of that's a jumble.
Every once in a while, one will pop up, you know, because of something that he did
or see a piece of terrain that looks just like we were in, you know.
you'll come back and they'll pop up.
Now that,
they didn't have PTSD.
Before that, they called it battle fatigue.
And we never thought we were battle fatigued at that.
You know, it was years afterwards we realized that, you know,
we had drinking and anger problems and why.
And the military finally accepted the fact of what it was
and started,
the VA started treating it.
But, you know, in the early days, we just managed to push it aside.
A lot of drinking, you know.
I know a lot of guys that got into the bottle and then welded the cap on after him.
Yeah.
How would the ghost appear to you?
How did the what?
The ghost.
What about him?
How would he appear to you?
It'd be a nightmare, and he'd be like I last saw him with half his head,
cave opened and one eye falling out and he would wake me up and he'd just be in the book i described
one of his visits i'm i'm on the lake in minnesota and i'm fishing with my little brother and he's uh
he's got this old yellow rain jacket on that my mom hated in that and he's bent over he's
He's not facing me.
He's facing out the back of the boat.
And he's fishing.
He's got a line in the water and that.
And he's sobbing.
Sorry.
It's okay, Nick.
Pussy.
It's okay.
Anyway, I reach over to touch his shoulder to find out why he's crying.
And he turns around, and it's the kid, not him.
And he grabs my hand.
and I stand up and he steps off the back of the boat with me.
And I'm going down under the water and he's holding on to my hand and I can't get him to let go.
And then I wake up.
Shit.
It's okay.
Yeah, well, I don't want to be a pussy.
I don't want to go there.
You know, I have a really good friend of mine.
His name's Chris Fettis.
He was a sniper for Dev Group.
And I had him on, and he had to kill two kids on a hostage rescue mission.
And he has nightmares similar to that.
And he had sons.
Some of them never leave you.
They're at that age.
And his nightmares, his sons look up at him.
I haven't had a visit from him in 10 years.
Then five, maybe.
And it's always when I'm worn down.
you know, then it comes back.
Or, like today.
How do you deal with it?
I push them back.
Push them back.
Don't let them in.
And I try not to think about things like that.
Try not to think about some of the guys that I know
that got blown to pieces.
But, you know, one minute they were there
and next minute there's some kind of hamburger meat
with bones sticking out of it.
you just deal with it
first of all
the psychiatric industry
is a bunch of hooey
all those therapists
that try and talk you through it and that
I did a little bit of that when I
when I was in Germany
and the problem is
is that they put a jacket on you and then now you're
barred from enlistment and all that shit
because you're loopy inside so nobody
goes to them
and two sessions I went to was
yeah
listen bozo you don't even know what you're talking about
you're trying to you're condescending
and that's that's an insult
you know it's you know
I got problems I'll deal with them thanks
so I might slip so I can get out of here
my generation we just dealt with it
I dealt with I see some of these guys now
with the traumatic brain injury from bombs and that,
and severe PTSD.
First of all, a Navy SEAL, God bless his soul,
found that psychedelic mushrooms can be used to treat PTSD.
Psychedelic mushroom is a friend of mine,
Al Mullet, another medic,
who understands this completely how it's done and all that.
And the VA is just now starting to accept it as a treatment protocol.
It's psychedelic mushrooms, some kind of bark from a tree.
It's Ibogaine.
And crystallized secretions from some African frog.
It's a U.S. toad.
Is it a U.S. toad?
The Sonoran Toad.
You're talking about 5MEODMT in Ibogaine.
Oh, cool.
I've done it.
Have you done this?
No.
No.
Why not?
I got too much shit to do right now.
The, uh...
Nick.
But the, the.
The other thing that they found out about it, the other thing they found out about it, it cures drug addiction.
Yep.
It cures.
You've got your meth, cocaine, heroin, marijuana, whatever.
It takes away the total desire to have those substances in your body.
That is the method they should use for cleaning up the drug addiction and the homelessness in this country.
Just grab them off the street, stick them in a re-education compound, microdose their food.
until they finally realize that they don't want to be on it and then put them through the treatment.
But no, I haven't done it or haven't even approached it.
I did it.
Did it help?
Fuck, yeah, it helped.
I haven't had a drop of booze in almost four years.
Really?
And it was effortless.
Yeah, that's why all these fucking bottles are still here.
Otherwise, they'd all be gone.
Oh, yeah.
But it, Nick, I'm not going to bullshit you.
It changed.
it fucking changed my life.
Well, maybe I'll get around to it someday.
I don't drink that much anyway anymore.
You know, my normal consumption is probably a glass of wine with dinner.
This helps a lot more than just taking the booze away.
What?
This stuff helps a lot more than just taking the booze away.
Yeah, well, talk to Al.
I'm sure he'd like to watch while I go through it.
Yeah.
And I would trust him to watch while I go through it.
Yeah.
Is it offered to the VA?
No.
You have to go to Mexico.
Well, I go to Mexico all the time.
Well, not all the time.
Maybe I can...
Where's it in Mexico City?
I can't say exactly where it is because...
Because...
What, you just don't want to disclose?
Arrived in a laundry bag and they dropped you off.
That's right.
At a clinic?
Yeah.
I will tell you off-camera where it is.
Yeah, okay.
And if you want, I will call.
connect you with the people.
Like I say, I might think about it.
I hope you do.
I'm not usually this weepy or loopy.
That's okay.
Happens a lot in here.
I get like that when I think about the yards laying on top of me to keep me from getting
hit again.
Yeah.
That's another one that brings the tears.
Yeah.
Probably because I owed them.
money more than like or they thought that I owed them money.
Do you want to talk about the prisoner capture attempts?
The what?
The prisoner capture attempts.
The prisoner?
Capturing prisoners.
Oh, yeah, well, that didn't turn out all that well.
We really, Hobb, we only had, well, when I was there, only had one real prisoner snatch.
and we went there to do a prisoner snatch.
The area was high concentrations
and it was laced with trails
that couriers and etc.
If they knew that you were wiretapping
or that they had moonbeam overhead
trying to listen for radio signals
and locate things on the ground,
they would use couriers on trains.
on trails going back and forth
between the different units and that.
We set it up to do a snatch.
And it was fairly simple.
We found a trail, high-speed trail,
knew that they would use it
if they got pressed and that.
And we started using air support to bomb them
and make them get up and start moving around
and that.
and they knew if we were bombing them,
they'd have something up there listening for radios at the same time.
So they, anyway, we're set up on this trail.
It was kind of cool.
It was a really large tree,
but from over there where the wall is.
And Mack was behind that.
And I was over here behind some slightly smaller trees than that.
And I had a silenced 22.
was it 22 yeah
and
and Mac had a silence gun in that
and
anyway the yards are spread out
to kill anybody behind the ones we want
we're going to let
a couple of them go through
yards are on the other side of Mac
a couple of them
and three or four of them behind me over here
down stretched out in his trail
so they start
bombing making them get up and move around and that we heard that pitter-patter
little feet coming down the trail and uh and it's three guys uh actually four uh one guy
slightly ahead the guy and the next guy was an officer we knew he was an officer because it's
uh you know collar tabs and he had a map case and uh
the guy behind him, and then a third guy, or, yeah, a third guy behind him and that,
and I waited for him to get by, and Mac stepped out,
shot the first one in the leg and pistol whipped him, and then shot the second guy,
and I got the third and fourth guy.
I killed them.
And the one guy, when I shot him, he said, brother in Vietnam A's.
And it turned out later that the guy in the front was his brother.
And he was calling out to him.
And the guy that we shot and captured, shoot him in the legs and they can't run off.
Put a turn a kid on him, grab him, cuff him up, start carrying him, start deed him out to get to a
LZ to get pulled out.
We did all that in a matter of minutes and we're gone.
Well, we stripped the bodies, went through their pockets and everything, threw it into a sack,
or I think we used an A7A bag.
So all their equipment, except for the guns, and pulled the bodies and took the guns apart,
threw it out under the underbrush and hid the bodies and that.
sometimes we take the bodies back with us too
so they could do an autopsy and see what they were eating
see if they had any kind of parasites, that sort of shit.
You know how doctors get involved.
But we grabbed the guy, we went to the extraction LZ,
they dropped the strings,
and we decided to put Kuman, the 101,
and I think Sam Pot,
on there with the prisoner.
And then Mac and I and the other yards got on the second chopper that came in,
and we lift out.
And away we go, into the blue yonder in that.
We're watching the one in the front.
And suddenly it looked like somebody dropped a rucksack.
There was three yards with the prisoner on the first one.
And we thought somebody dropped a rucksack.
It was a prisoner.
What had happened.
And they had them trust up.
And they didn't get to snap and link him in tight enough to them.
And he started swinging around down underneath the aircraft.
And he came back in and he bit Cooman in the face and held on to him like that.
And Coomben just pulled out a knife and just Sayanara.
There you go.
Holy shit.
All the way to the ground.
We were already counting the bonus money.
Let's see that.
So it's 300 for you and 300 for you.
And yards all get a month's pay.
We get to go to the train, get laid, and we watch them go all the way to the ground.
We got to the refuel point.
It was an old fire base.
And they land.
Everybody's rolling up the strings and that.
We go see Coomans bleeding all over his face.
And then, you know, Matt goes, what happened?
And they explained it to him.
Well, you know, why did you kill him?
You've been at a face, you know, number 10, V.C.
I said, well, you know, we're not going to get paid money for.
He said, well, don't need money.
Need to kill V.C.
That was the end of the conversation.
That's how Boudreau threatened us, because when we got back to the launch site,
we were sitting in that little mess hall portion that we drank beer in.
We were joking about what we were going to tell Manus,
well, how we lost a prisoner.
We're going to tell them that,
I tied them in with some knot I learned in the sea scouts.
Or I had, I forgot the rope and I packed it because I had too many candy bars in my rucksack.
And we used a piece of rope we found out there.
And Boudreau was listening over in the shadows.
He goes, you know, you're lucky.
I just don't tell Manus what you two are really up to.
Yeah.
But it's a good mission.
Just things went bad at the last minute.
I have here that you were interrogating captives in the field?
No.
No, no.
Never had time for that.
Okay.
Oh, you might do impact interrogation on me.
How many more are with you?
You know, where are they?
And the yards handled that.
But, you know, you don't have time to do that.
You've got to, you snatch them and you run.
Because getting them back is everything.
and turning them over to people that can really,
and like I said, impact stuff.
How many guys were with you,
that sort of hitting slap, slap, yeah, let's go.
You know, the most valuable P.O.W.
That I heard of that CCN got was Eldon Bargewell.
What do you think that P.O.W. did for a living?
He was the battalion mess surgeon.
No shit.
So, you know, who he had to feed?
what their names were, what units they were, where they were at,
all the rations, he had all this wealth of information
because he was a M. M.S. surgeon.
The guy we grabbed, the only thing, he was a senior lieutenant,
and he was the, and we're acting at some sort of S2 capacity
because the map case had, you know,
just like we used, the clear plastic covers
and he had units marked on it and all that,
and it was a tactical map.
So it wasn't a line officer.
And we pulled a bunch of shit out of his pockets
that, you know, gave the guys in Saigon
said, well, he was an intelligence officer.
Yeah, I remember Eldon told me,
he said the one time they found a carved into a tree
born in the north to die in the south.
Bam.
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Yeah, I mean, you got to remember, these guys are GIs just like us, just wearing a different uniform.
Yeah.
Hardcore little sons of bitches.
I'll give them that.
Sounds like it.
Yeah, had a lot of respect for them.
I didn't have any respect for the B.C.
Because they were ashen trash, you know, militia.
But the Pavin, they would come through bombs to get at you and keep coming, you know, take casualties.
Damn.
Were you on an operation, too, that did you retrieve downpilots?
Oh, yeah.
We did a couple times on bright lights.
Choppers, you know, you're doing a bright light.
Choppers go in.
You're the one.
You've got to go get them.
I remember, I think the chapter's called Blue Eyes.
We went in on a chopper that had gone down on an insert.
and we
the one-one
and the door gunner
had not gone in with
the helicopter
they had leaped free from the wreckage
or when they hit the water they got thrown free
everybody else was dead
and it burned afterwards which is bad
I did another one
one of them I had the guy delivered to me
another bright light
one of the choppers was going past
got shot to shit took an RPG right
right in the transmission and fell out of the sky
and the doorgunner got blown up the slope
he landed like that far away from me
he still had the M60 in his hand
except the barrel was cut in half
from shrapnel on that
and the other
the other guys
well the chopper rolled down
the hill
and we were going to go down to it
and see if anybody survived
and uh
no that was
another one
we went in and uh
later on the afternoon on the wreckage
and we got there
and we got up on we could see the chopper
in the brush below us
and we could see movement around it
but according to the
the cubby
everybody had gotten pulled out.
So we thought it was NBA going over the wreckage
and that pulling shit out and that.
So Cook threw a grenade down there
and it landed up, the chopper was laying on the side like that.
The grenade landed here, went off.
Through another grenade, it landed on the other side of the chopper
and it went off.
And we heard this voice,
please don't throw another grenade down here.
And it was American.
Oh, boy.
So we could go down.
It was one of the doorkunners, and his leg was pinned under the underside of the aircraft.
He had almost gotten out and the aircraft rolled over on him.
So we managed to break him out of the wreckage and got him back.
And the funny story.
They take him to the VAC hospital, and he's in one bed.
and the co-pilot is in another bed.
In the middle of the night, the staff wake, you know,
here's a ruckus, and he's in there trying to strangle the co-pilot.
And what had happened was when they unasked the aircraft,
they just left him and took his M-60 and reported that he was dead.
So they took his gun and left the aircraft.
And he was trying to kill that warrant off of it.
Yeah, a number of times.
We went in.
I went in on an F4.
One pilot had either failed to eject or partially ejected.
He was still in the aircraft.
He was dead.
We found him.
We kind of jammed up against the injection seat went out about halfway for something
folded in it and stopped it.
rockets and the ejection seat burned him to death.
He was toasts from about the waist down.
Everything was burned off.
Damn, yeah.
Not a nice way to go.
No, kidding.
I don't have nightmares about him because he's there for us.
Yeah, that was the worst part.
When they burn.
I can understand getting blown to pieces and shot up,
but I don't want to ever see another burn body again.
Yeah.
How was it leaving?
Leaving was happy, sad.
Yeah, I hated to leave you.
I actually thought about just going off in a bush with the yards.
I loved them that much, and I really had no ties to my family, of course,
but I really had no ties to civilized world at that point.
I'd been with him so long I was brew.
A lot of guys were like that, thought about, you know,
because they closed the, when they closed off the,
when they started moving American troops out,
we knew that they were going to close and abandon the yards.
The South Vietnamese would for sure,
and the American Command weren't all that.
you know, reliable to take care of them.
We were. They were our family.
So we were stealing shit for them.
Ammunition, mortars, machine guns, rifles,
flamethrowers, anything.
Because when a big American unit is like Ameri-Cal
and a tent, the mechanized, what was the name of it,
tent mechanized or something like that,
when they left Kwan Tree, the PTO yard was full of stuff.
floor fans, big piles of wrenches and sockets, you know, anything you could matter.
Connics containers with mortar ammunition, actual mortars, machine guns and all that.
And just fucking left it for the Vietnamese.
So we were going up there raiding it.
And every time we went to Mylock, we were taking fling loads.
The pilots were in on it.
They knew what we were doing.
Every time we went up there, we filled up the helicopters, either with ourselves or with equipment.
in an ammunition and then a sling load of stuff underneath it and would fly it up to my lock
and it would disappear and at least give them a chance to fight you know when the thing happened
but very very sad to leave them and sad to leave the the guys the allies the guy you know the guy
these are your brothers you know sounds a lot like Afghanistan huh it sounds a lot like how we left
Afghanistan.
Oh, yeah.
Well, yeah, I'm sure.
We just abandoned those people.
I'm sure.
We just, you know, betrayal.
You know, and not you,
but the dip shit's in charge.
I had a lot of anger about that
for a long time.
When I went back, I found
two of my yards.
You went back?
I went back twice.
How was that?
In lightning.
No shit.
Yeah.
I had a friend that papered me.
So I wasn't traveling on my passport and Canadian.
So I actually went back.
The first time I did a project, I was working in environmental.
And we came up with a system where we were treating waste, shit,
with anaerobic microbes, which increased the,
and anaerobic means done detoxion.
and what it does is those microbes eat the shit and the pathogens and they produce methane
and we built these silos in the ground would line them with clay and on top of it with a cement plug
with a shaft down it with a agitator and that was run from the top and it would stir the
shit. You make it real liquid.
You know, you put some
straw, organic material
in there, but it's mostly shit in water.
And then you cook it in the
microbes, it makes methane.
It comes out to the top. It goes over
here. You do humidify it.
You can run a reciprocating engine
on it just like natural gas.
Because that's what natural gas is,
methane.
So
I had a
contact in
Canada. They got a
contract to try and use the system we had.
In Vietnam, with four of these big pig collectives, they brought all the pigs in from the
surrounding villages, put them in one big, you know, building and, you know, they had a lot
of pig shit.
Fine, we'd create electricity with it.
And when the silo got done cooking down, at the bottom of the silo was this thick, really black
material that was kind of, part of it was a slurry and part of it was kind of grainy, pure nitrogen.
So they would take that out, you'd empty the silo, and you'd take it out, lay it out on iron sheets, dry it out.
You've got 90% nitrogen fertilizer. In fact, they were taking the fertilizer and actually bagging it
and selling it to the farmers, right, to replace using human shit in the best.
engine holes, which stopped a whole bunch of other diseases by using them.
It was so rich they had to hit it with potash in order to reestablish a livable pH in it.
So I went back for that.
And I had a good time for about three months.
And I went back one more time that just had to curious.
I had the first time I heard rumors about the re-education camps and how.
some of the yards had survived and I had a I made a contact there in Danang and he told
me that he knew some Montoyards that had gotten out of the education camps that
were kind of living like street beggars and I went back and I found two of the
guys from CCM one of them was on my team no shit and I managed to get them enough
money to get them out of Danang and back up in the highlands. Both of them were missing an arm.
The little people had SCU tattooed on their special commando unit, tattooed on their arms,
and if the North Vietnamese found it, it chopped their arm off. So both of them had their arm chopped
off from here down. But that was a really great reunion.
Yeah, I found out about how their families had gone back up in the hills,
how they actually had fought a running battle back into the mountains
and a trail of tears, so to speak.
Damn, man.
Yeah, yeah.
I think I got to scar my map for that one.
Fuck.
I have an affinity for primitive cultures.
You know, the yards were basically a semi-iron age tribes when we came along with all our man toys and war,
and they adapted to it like ducks to water.
And they are the finest natural warriors I've ever seen.
And I've worked with other groups and other countries.
All of them pretty much share the same kind of culture.
You're a warrior.
and you're a member of the tribe.
And the first duty is to protect the tribe.
Above everything else, protect the tribe.
Well, Nick, let's take a quick break.
And when we come back, we'll talk about what it was like coming home.
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show's story. All right, Nick, we're back from the break. We're kind of wrapping up
Vietnam. We have wrapped up Vietnam. What was it like coming home for you?
Total decompression. Um, and, and shock. I mean, uh, the height of the anti-war thing in that.
I was only spit on once, and that was in Oakland, and they were a bunch of Buddhists or something.
I remember punching them really hard and all kinds of roves flying around, but coming back to the States, you have nothing in common with your high school friends.
You have very little in common with the outskirts of your family.
family. Your mom, your dad, your brother, and sisters, you know, all there for you.
Yeah, I was fortunate.
And that, you know, I had a support mechanism there, but once again, after about a, oh, I don't know, two weeks of being home, I really started getting itchy feet.
I wanted to go around people that I knew.
So I got in my car and went back to the cries of my mother saying that I abandoned her after she carried me for nine months,
nurtured me for years.
But I went right to, I stopped on the way from Fort Bragg to visit a friend of mine that I knew from the Mike Force.
and spend about, I know, you know, visitors and fish have the same three-day limit, especially with wives.
So after about the fourth day, she started getting the skunk-eye look when she looked at me,
you know, and she knew she was going to have to retrain them after I'd been there for a while.
So on the fourth day, I told him I was going to take off her brag.
and, you know, she made me chocolate chip cookies for the trip,
and I suspected that they might have had X-lax in them.
They didn't.
But I drove to Ford Bragg.
I checked into the sixth group again,
and it was a wild time.
I was on the team.
We did a lot of stuff.
We were always training.
We were always going someplace.
And it helped.
didn't have a lot of personal relationships.
I just couldn't get into that.
I got laid, but I didn't get into personal relationships.
And gradually, I just weren't ready.
I didn't want to let myself go.
I didn't want to trust somebody that hadn't gone to what I went through.
And I saw all my friends that were,
you know, having problems with their marriages and their girlfriends, the same thing.
You know, we, uh, we drank a lot, a lot, you know, I, you know, I, I managed to control myself,
so I didn't get in a lot of trouble. But, uh, like I said, I, once you've been on that kind
of adrenaline high, it's hard to give it up for ice cream cones and cognac, you know?
Yeah.
So it was, uh, took a lot of.
long while to totally decompressed to the level where I was socially acceptable.
And you'd be looking at people going, and they'd say something and you go, you know, you stupid
fuck, you know, and then go at it.
But I think what really saved me was I got married when I, and then I, and I, and I,
I'm really sorry for her because she was 19 and I was 27th.
And I had a baby daughter.
And I got orders to go to Berlin, which in those days was like grabbing the brass ring and hitting the top.
And I was getting ready to go to Berlin.
She knows she was going to have to.
She was a 19-year-old from, what's the name of that town,
up in San Francisco Bay.
Monterey?
Not Monterey.
I can't take of the name.
Paula Alto?
No, further north.
Up right, shit.
The big electronics center now.
Silicon Valley?
I'll think of it later after we get off this thing, you know.
but her parents were from there.
Her sister had married a guy from the Fifth Special Forces Group,
and their marriage was already on the rocks when I met her.
I got married in Monterey, full military wedding,
of which Spider Parks and two other guys tried to stab me with the sabres
when I walked down to it.
We'd been drinking, yeah.
But got married.
She got pregnant. We drove to Fort Devons, my next assignment. And I was at Fort Devons for about two years with her and things just fell apart.
I was working as a bouncer at a place in Lemister to per extra money. And we didn't get paid all that much. I told somebody the other day, the E7 asked me, he says, how much do you make as an E7?
So when I pay was $1,250 a month.
And he went, what?
And when he told me what they had paid down,
I wanted to rob them right there on the spot.
But, you know, money was tight.
You know, I was gone a lot.
The first year I was at Fort Devons.
I saw her 112 days out of that year.
The rest of the time I was either on exercises,
Flintlock, mobile training team, wherever.
And it just fell apart.
I went to West Point to, you know, every year the cadets, the soft war cadets get patrolling,
mountaineering, rubber wraps, all that training and that.
And everything's new.
They get everything new.
New jeeps, new weapons, new fatigues, new poncho liners, you name it.
And when I came back from...
from that training, I had a week to clear post before I went to, or no, I had a month's leave and a week to clear post.
And when I got back to Fort Devons, I walked into my government housing and there were nothing in it.
All my clothes were piled in the middle of the living room, and all the furniture was gone.
There was a container of sour milk in a refrigerator and a beer.
And I sat there on the floor and had that beer,
and I called up Jay Graves and told him what happened.
He said, don't say anything.
I'll be there in 30 minutes.
And he came down, picked me up, took me up to his place,
and dropped me off with a well-known gangster, a real criminal.
And I stayed with him for,
a week
and I made the mistake of
trying to go back to California
and patch things up
which didn't work out at all.
I got back there
I tracked her down
to a nightclub
and she was sitting on her ex-boyfriend's
lap
when I jumped him and bit a
dollar-sized hole out of the top of his
head and the fight
was on. And
the battle
The announcers decided they don't want anything to do with me after I broke one of them's arm.
And I just escaped and got outside and realized how badly I'd fucked up.
And still tried to go back and talk to her.
And when I got there, her father stormed out the front door and shoved me, and I hit him,
and he had a heart attack.
So from there it was a mad flight.
get somewhere I hired a private plane to fly me to another city and then caught commercial air.
When I got back to Boston, I stopped in Cincinnati or someplace, and I called Jay.
I said, I got in some trouble, and he goes, we know.
I said, what do you mean? You know? He said, don't go to Boston airport. The state police are waiting for you.
with a warrant.
And I said, well, okay, so I flew into New York City and Chester, God, I loved him.
He died here two years ago, a former Marine from the late 50s, Fleet Marine, who became a criminal.
The FBI, I always suspected he was involved in this or that.
He was a one-man crime wave, boosting trucks, selling the stuff, you know.
Great guy, just full of life.
He, I had travel orders and a ticket on, you know, the contracted airlines and that to leave from Boston and go to Frankfurt and then on to Berlin.
He bought me a first-class ticket on British Airways out of Connecticut.
into Frankfurt.
And that's how I escaped the net.
And group actually covered my ass.
They told them that I was on classified orders
and that I had already left
and that they no longer were responsible for me.
They'd have to talk to my receiving unit,
but unfortunately that was classified
and they couldn't tell them with the group commander
involved in that loop.
And so I went from there to Berlin, and Berlin really was the healing process.
You know, it was exciting.
It was demanding.
It kept me occupied.
It was, you know, I was in an environment that I absolutely loved.
Berlin is still one of my favorite cities.
There in Munich, you know, those two hit the top of the charts.
I was speaking German
almost all the time
either in my job or I was living
out on the economy
I had a really nice flat
over in Salendorf
that was
it was just magic
I had two motorcycles and a Volvo
so I had plenty of stuff
that mental health stuff
and get on to Harley
and put something excited
between their legs and take a drive, you know.
And I met a woman there that was in ASA, Army Security Agency.
She was an oral comprehension specialist, listening and being able to translate.
She couldn't speak Russian, but she could listen to it and understand the dialects and
all that, named Claire.
And Claire, wow.
She was something.
I lived with her for almost four years before I dumped out of the Army.
And she just recently surfaced.
And our relationship eventually fell apart because I didn't want to get married.
I decided I was never getting married again.
And she wanted to get married.
I didn't.
So she went off and married up and married up.
a real nice guy, a warrant officer, and built a life out of that.
But the time in Berlin was really healing because it was just so much going on.
It was, we were doing stuff like, you know, in Dead A, we did a lot of work with the Zunder-Ninzats Commando, SCK,
which is their counter-terrorist, counter-intelligence police.
And they were great guys.
I mean, every one of them were just really talented.
They were like special forces.
Same attitude, same skills.
I mean, just wonderful guys.
I managed to, about halfway through there,
there were six of them going on vacation to the United States.
So I lined them up with all my friends and contacts
that were in California, Arizona, places like that.
Every one of them came back with a saddle.
that they were going to put in their bar downstairs
and use that as their stool to sit on.
And they,
a lot of interaction with them.
We did a lot of counter-surveillance
and surveillance of their targets.
What better way to learn?
You know, we'd follow Soviet agents,
East Sherman agents, criminals,
whatever they had on the ticket list.
Or we'd do counter-surveillance,
you know, with, you know,
with their guys trying to follow us.
You know, we played the rabbit, the hair.
So you really got good at people watching you
and being able to sense it in that.
And all the little tips of the trade in that.
And then, funny story.
I had to Bobo, and I wanted to get another car
and get it registered as a German vehicle.
So I wanted to get a Volkswagen, but I knew this guy, German guy.
He owned a bar up in the Turkish sector, Gunter.
Gunter was afraid of his girlfriend, right?
And Gunter was aggravating, but he was fun sometimes.
He had a Measershmet.
You know what that is?
No.
Okay, after the war, Measershmet, the actual Mezershmet factory,
designed a car that was powered by a motorcycle engine.
And had two wheels in the front, one wheel in the back.
And it actually looked like the fuselage of a Measure Schmidt-109.
You had to get in it, you had to pull the canopy back,
climb in the front seat and had a passenger seat behind you in that.
And that I fell in love with it the first time I thought,
shit, I got to have this, right?
So I make a deal with Gunter for $2,500,
cash.
And I bought that thing from him, and he's fussing about the paperwork.
Well, you know, what if you get in an accident when you're going back to your house
and that?
I'd prefer if I drove with you and that, you know, so come up and pick up the car.
So, okay, the date, when I went up to pick it up, I'm wearing a leather jacket,
a leather flying helmet, and a white scarf and goggles.
and he goes, oh no.
He said, hop in the bat.
Come on, we'll get down there.
Don't worry.
So have you been drinking?
No, not at all.
I had a flask underneath the seat already,
and I was barely well lit.
We took off down to hovel,
which is like in the center of Berlin,
there's a freeway.
Before we got a quarter away
out of the turkey sector,
I already had two police escorts
trying to catch me.
And I'm weaving in and out of traffic.
I've got the count.
if we pulled back of the scarfs out the window and I'm cackling as I'm going along and I got
far enough ahead of them and I was using the shoulders everything I could to avoid them in that
we came up on the Grunewald exit which if you turn left you go over to clay alley where the
embitter the consulate is and Berlin headquarters and my BEQ was over there too but my apartment
was further down over in Salindorp,
which is next to the big bonsai, the lake there.
So I see the cutoff,
and if you turn left, you go over to the American side.
If you turn right, you're on the horse trails
that go around the gridwall is a 12-mile long,
three-mile-wide park, all forests
and hiking trails, horse trails, all that.
And that measure-schmidt could scoot
in there and the cop cars couldn't.
Nice. So I'm fucking
throwing mud going around
corners, taking, because I know the whole area
we go out there and do exercises and that,
you know. I finally
lose all of them except
one. And he's right on my
fucking tail. I'm thinking, I'm sorry, son of a bitch,
he's got to be a dirt track driver in
that. So I got down
towards Salindor
and I,
there's an alley
that cuts off to the right off the horse
trails and that and gets to the end and there's just enough space to get that
measure Schmidt through and it goes on a long gentle slope down to the hobble river
where it's a paved walkways and that it's like a block and a half up to where my
my apartment is which is an old mansion and I got the second floor so I get down there
the guy's right behind me and I get I can't I'm looking around him said boy he doesn't look
familiar in that and I see the hedge.
I said, well, just cut through the hedge.
It's a gentle slope. See if this baby
could take some damage.
Turned to the right.
There was a moment of weightlessness
and then we hit the water.
It was the wrong alley.
Went through the hedge, out about
20, 30 feet and straight
down into the river.
When I surfaced,
I came to the surface
and I'm looking around for Gunter.
and he served
he bubbled up to the top
a couple seconds later
the first thing out of his mouth was
I hate you
so I
said well you know we got more problem
and that we need to get out of water
for one thing
and then
we got to shore
and there was a taxi stand
not far from there
that was a lighted telephone pole
you pick it up and call a taxi
and I called my flat
And Claire was there, and I said, you need to come pick me up at such a location.
There was a little guest house that was closed, but the place we used to go and have a, you know,
wine or cheese plate, whatever.
I said, come down here and pick me up.
What was the name of that?
Something for us.
And she shows up about, about 10 minutes later with the Volkswagen that I had bought her.
And we packed Gunter into the back of it.
We drive all the way back up to vetting.
And by that time, the whole park's full of fucking police cars,
going up and down the streets, driving around, you know, looking for us.
And then we get back up there and all the way up there and tell us.
Look, it's simple.
I've already signed the pink slip, right?
Just tell them, don't even show them the pink slip.
Tell them it was in the car and that somebody stole the car.
Your insurance will pay for the car, no problem.
everything's handled, right?
But three days later, I go into the detachment and I walk in the team room,
and one of the guys from the scuba team comes in and throws the license plate from the measure Schmidt.
He says, you might want to keep this.
And a little after that, I walked back in,
and my team started with a wonderful guy named Craig Chuck.
He was sitting at his desk, and my leather flying,
that was on his desk,
all sod and everything,
and he's tapping it with a pencil.
He says,
you might want to put this in
with that plate.
So evidently the scuba team
had been called out
by the German police diving team
because they were trying to recover
two drunks that had gone
into the Hubble River
and they were dragging the river
for their bodies in that.
Holy shit.
It was a healing process.
Sounds like quite the healing process.
They are.
A great group of guys, great mission, saw a lot of really, you know, a lot of guys from Project went to Dead A.
There was probably, when I was there, there was probably 20 of us that had been in projects, you know.
It's like all your friends that you don't want as a character would show up.
But the only sour point about it was I was there when the general that,
wanted to get controlled and
his hatchet man down there.
And he hated me
with a passion.
And the feeling was fucking mutual.
He made sure he wasn't in front of me
and then he jumps
just in case his static line got
disconnected.
Yeah.
About a couple of those.
Yeah, you know, they're
everyone, they're a sour taste, but they
are there. There's no deny.
the little martinets that think they're shit doesn't stick
Nick where's your daughter now?
I tracked her down
one of the guys that I used as an instructor
was up
they had of the SWAT team in Costa Mesa
and a homicide detective
and when he got out he became a private eye
and he tracked her down to
San Jose
and she was living in San Jose
about two miles from where her grandparents were.
And I found her on the Internet
and sent her a note that, you know,
I really hate to break it to you this way,
but I might be your natural father.
And she took her sight down the next day.
And that was the last I heard of her,
except that how long?
long ago, but five or six years ago, my phone rang, and a young man was on it. Somebody,
post-teenager, but that young. And he goes, are you neck Brockhouse? And I said, yes, I am.
He goes, I says, I'm your oldest grandson. And I heard a bunch of yelling in the background,
a woman's voice, and he never called back. So far as I know, she's in San Jose.
I married, my ex-wife married a Cajun.
So that all wrapped together.
It probably wasn't a good idea to go back and try and establish filial ties.
So I still think about her.
What would you say to her?
I'm sorry.
Do you think he'll get that opportunity?
Who knows?
Winning the lottery.
That sues a lot of hard feelings.
maybe, maybe, maybe, maybe she'll see what I'm doing now
and try and make contact herself.
I wouldn't put money on it, but, you know.
If you done any interviews before?
What?
Have you done many interviews before?
A couple of them.
I did one with, who's the guy, the captain from ESOP?
That was a good one.
I just did one last night.
with two LA cops that it's called war stories.
They were fun.
One of them was a former Marine.
I kept telling, I know there's some dark shit in your past.
Don't lie to me.
I hope you meet her again.
I hope you get to say that to her.
I do too.
I do too.
You know, I don't have any real regrets in my life.
I'm not a perfect man.
I've got a lot of flaws.
At least I admit my flaws, you know, and I live with them.
There's no such thing as a perfect man.
Yeah, according to my partner, he's close to it.
Yeah.
We covered a lot of ground.
We did.
How are you feeling?
Well, I'm fine, you know.
I wrote three books.
The first two were about projects.
Mm-hmm.
And they, without my trying, they became cult books.
You know, I've had many, many people.
And I didn't write it for the public.
I wrote it for the guys I bled with.
And I'm happy as hell when one of them walks up to me and goes, way to go, Nick.
But the public seemed to take them well.
And I'm still getting paid royalty, so I guess they're doing all right.
I wrote this book, Vagabonds.
because I had a contract to supply a West African nation with six,
737, 300s on a lease.
And I happen to know a wonderful man in London that I'd been in a freight business with in Africa
that had all these airline, how to get airplanes and run an airline in that.
And we set up a lease contract with them for six years.
Contract was signed.
money was being transferred into escrow.
I moved from Palm Desert to Tucson
because they were going to paint all the planes
and put delivery on them and that
and do the sea check in that
before they sent them to Africa.
I got there and a month later,
COVID came ashore.
Oh, shit.
And everything, I was set to make $35,000 a month
on a six-year contract.
So I got there and that's when I moved in.
I signed a lease for two years with my business partner as a co-tenant and everything dropped out.
So we were locked up for COVID.
We're sitting there.
We watched everything on Netflix and said, what are we going to do?
Let's write a book about what we did after we got out of the military.
So we wrote the book, 67 days start to finish.
Nice.
Pushed it through.
I had a wonderful editor in London, Oxford,
a woman named Ruth Shepard, been really good to me.
The owner of the company, I would gladly run over with a pickup truck.
She's wonderful, and her staff is wonderful.
She got it approved, got it published, and that.
And it doesn't do as well as the other two books.
But it's, and it was all about what he and I did after we got out of the military.
We rescued kidnapped children in Algeria, Guatemala,
rescued people in Mexico from kidnapped, real kidnap gangs.
And one in Chechnya, which I'll never do again.
Why not?
I didn't actually run that thing.
That was a friend of mine that had the contract in that.
I came up with a way of tracking the victim.
and I used the Russian
Jeff and I had gone to Russia
Oh God, back
It's one of the things we did
We went to Kazakhstan
With an asphalt company
That was trying to get a contract
To build four-lane highways
Connecting Kazakhstan with the rest of Russia and that
And they use cold mix concrete
Or cold-mixed asphalt
Which you can use in our
conditions. That's where they built an Alcan highway out of them, because no proceeds, all that stuff.
So we had met, my friend in London introduced us to the KGB at a very high level. And we went to Moscow
and, you know, I met the head of directorate 9, who was a lieutenant general in the KGU.
had a beautiful baritone voice, spoke fluent English and fluent German.
And where was I going with that?
So anyway, we went to Kazakhstan, it's in the book.
It's, you know, the adventures are going over there and doing that.
And were we on the airplanes or on the, I lost my track there for a moment.
You were going to Russia?
Yeah, we went to Russia for this deal with the asphalt company.
And that was one of the things.
And while I was there, made really good contacts with the KGB.
And after communism fell, you understand the KGB did not belong to the central government.
It belonged to the Communist Party.
So when the Communist Party fell out, they no longer had a mandate to operate.
to operate. So they were going through all this
writing about how they were going to build a new
Russian and that, and that's how they came up with the
FSB, which is what they have currently in that.
But the KGB also owned all kinds of things.
They owned cities where they had research going on.
They had no roads going in or out. Everything came in by air.
Scientific facilities. They owned gold mines.
They owned oil fields.
and they were funding themselves,
but they were looking for cash.
And on the thing in Chetche,
we actually rented a Spetsnaz outfit.
We had come up with a way to track them.
And actually the Russians came up with it.
And it was a friendly isotope.
And the victim was a friendly isotope.
an industrialist from the West tried to make an oil deal with the Chechens the
Chechens grabbed him and demanded money basically how it went the first group
they went in to try and paid a ransom they just killed them took the money the
second group went in were SAS guys and they shot their way out of it and my friend
who was an SAS guy actually picked up the third and it came up with this plan
that if we could locate them we also
could put enough force to actually grab them.
So the Russians came up with two tricks.
One was a way to track them, and that was a friendly isotope.
There were only two places in the region
where you could buy the medicine that he needed to stay alive.
So they broke in there and dosed all the medication
with that friendly isotope.
If he peed on the ground, they could detect it from the air.
So they did the nest team flying back and forth
doing the grids and they located them in a mountain, mountain village.
And they came up with a substance they could treat the money with.
If you touch the money, within 24 hours, you were dead.
So they dosed the ransom.
They picked it up.
They had already located the village in about 2 o'clock in the morning.
They went in and rescued him.
There was about eight of them that were still kicking and everybody else was dead.
No old people and no children.
all young people in the billy, so, you know, it was, the Russians are, they've got finesse sometimes,
and sometimes they're bull in the court.
Damn.
But they're, you know, my trip over there, my association with them, you know, I knew who they
were, and I knew what the communists were, and, you know, they were my sworn enemies at one time.
But I watched them rebuild after a total collapse in the system.
I asked Vladimir the general
I said,
So what kind of government do you think you're going to have?
He goes, well, Nick, it won't be communist
because that's gone.
And it won't be Western either.
But one thing it will be is Russian,
totally Russian.
And that's it.
It came up with a free market society
still with the messages of one strong man
and one strong party.
and I admire them for being able to pull through without totally collapsing.
It's interesting to watch the events and watch Trump working with them and trying to...
Because he realized that, you know, the Europeans were raping them after the communism fell.
They went and made deals with all the steel plants and the shipyards and Poland and all that
and basically fed the U.S. this thing about, you know, how crooked the communists are and they're still in control while they were buying everything and making joint ventures.
Oddly enough, the Cazaks, you know, the one group of people they would rather do business with?
Germans.
Yeah.
Because the Germans keep meticulous records.
So it was really interesting.
We did a lot of things with a lot of different people.
And eventually we trained SWAT teams.
We trained personal bodyguards in Mexico.
I ended up supplying my clients with armored cars that were produced in my partner's plant in Mexico City.
Damn.
Tried to stay away from working with the government.
You can get on a lot of Kempshi without that.
You know, I have too much effort with that crowd.
Yeah.
Yeah.
Well, as you know.
You have lived a lot of lives.
You get painted.
Say you know something.
And you feel it's in your...
Because of the person you are,
it's your best interest to tell federal law enforcement.
The minute that you do that,
they start building a jacket on you.
Yeah.
Yeah, if you're hanging out with these people,
obviously you're a bad guy.
So I did that once and regretted it in the end, and I swore never again.
You know, if it meant somebody's life, yeah, but I just don't have a lot of trust in their ethics.
Yeah.
So anyway, that to present time, we come back to Jeff Miller, my partner, came out here and met a studio.
production company called Show Dog Studio, run by a really great guy, John Atard,
who was a former NCO and the Royal Fusiliers back way back when.
And he made an offer to love the books that we can turn this into a Netflix series.
So that was the offer that he gave us that what they're currently planning is to turn it into a streamer.
using the book is the basis.
You know, I mean, basically every chapter can become an episode.
Congratulations.
Well, I'm happy about it when the check clears the bank.
Well, that's pretty funny.
You know, it's a, the thing's going to be called American Ronan.
Not my choice, but it'll work.
Sounds pretty badass to me.
You know, if they can keep Hollywood out of it, you know,
and make it, you know, stick to the story.
When do you think it will go?
I hope I'm not speaking how to turn here.
Me, personally, I think it will actually start writing sometime this spring
and filming maybe fall and release in late 26th.
Actually, if everything works and that.
Well, that will be awesome.
We'll see.
I can't wait to see it.
I'm pleased with it because it's interesting.
He's pleased with it because he wants to.
his grandkids, they go, that's Grandpa.
And I'm doing everything I can to ruin that scene.
Anyway, that's what I'm doing now.
And I'm still writing every once in a while.
I wrote a fiction book years ago that I may get published.
It's about Geyas Casca Lodginus, who was a centurion that stabbed Christ
in the side.
No shit.
On the hill.
And as the myth goes,
when he stabbed him in the side,
a clear liquid,
if he hung on the cross,
what happens is your plural cavity
fills up with liquid,
and you suffocate.
You know, between the bleeding
and the trauma,
you suffocate in your own juices.
When he pushed the lance to his side,
that clear liquid splashed out
on his hands, his shoulders,
and he had a milky eye that was from a slingstone.
And his sight returned, his rheumatoid, or his arthritis, and that was all gone.
And as Christ looked at him, the myth is that he says,
As you are centurion, so you shall remain until we meet again.
And Robin Moore wrote a series of books called Casca, the Eternal Soldier.
And I met Robin at the SOA.
And I said, you know, I'd really like to do an update on that.
Do you have a, how do I get to use the copyright on the character?
And he goes, Casca's not copyrighted.
Casca was a real person.
He was a Spaniard, Iberian, and he actually was, what do they call it,
the Pileum Prime, the head spear.
the most senior centurion every legion in that.
He was actually the centurion that had the guard mount
in the center of the city, and that's how he came to be there.
No kidding.
You go to South America, that myth pops up every once in a while.
The Roman, you know, the Romans around.
So I wrote a fiction book based around the Banana Wars
in El Salvador, and that brought it up to date.
And I just never published it, so.
Well, I hope you do.
I'm fiddling around with it still.
Anyway, I don't want to keep you too late.
No, Nick.
It's been an honor.
It's been an honor for me.
Me too.
I've watched you on TV and they go,
there's something about that guy.
Well, seriously, it's been an honor to get your story out.
You're going to make me blush.
Come on.
been one you've been through you've lived a lot of lives but now i've lived a long and eventful life
and i've met a lot of good people i've met some that weren't some of them passed not by my hand
but uh i think the thing i learned is that i love being human
Yeah, every aspect of the agony and the ecstasy.
Good.
Yeah.
And stay away from redheads.
All right.
Yeah.
I will.
Yeah.
Oh, wait.
Oh, thank you.
You too.
Cheers.
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