Shawn Ryan Show - #325 Sean Strickland - The Most Controversial Fighter in the UFC Opens Up Like Never Before

Episode Date: July 27, 2026

Sean Strickland is a two-time UFC Middleweight Champion known for his outspoken personality and unconventional path to the top. After overcoming a difficult childhood, he found purpose through MMA and rose to become one of the sport's biggest stars, capturing the middleweight title in 2023 and reclaiming it in 2026. Privacy isn't Paranoia, it's Protection Download Glacier - htps://theglacierapp.com App Store - https://srs.site/glacierapp Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: Get started with ShipStation today and get sixty days free at https://shipstation.com with code srs. Taxes and fees apply. Shopify: Stop waiting for permission to build something. Your next revenue stream starts free at https://shopify.com/srs Visit https://drinkag1.com/SRS to get a free AG1 Travel Case with 7 free AG1 Travel Packs in your Welcome Kit with your first AG1 subscription order while supplies last. Start your new morning ritual and get up to 43% off your MUDWTR with code SRS at https://mudwtr.com/SRS! #mudwtrpod Sean Strickland Links: X - https://x.com/SStricklandMMA Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/stricklandmma UFC Official Profile - https://www.ufc.com/athlete/sean-strickland Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Yeah, it's good. I feel like if a hitman and a pimp were to have a podcast, this is the kind of rumor I do. We got the purple, the murder icon. everywhere. It's great, dude. Lots of booze. Lots of booze. I'm telling me about pimping a hit man. I don't even drink. No, but it's dope, man. I got the tour, dude. Oh, this guy got, this guy murdered him. This guy killed him. Oh, yeah, dude. It's real fucking cool in here. I feel it right at home. There's any Gallagher's burner charges up there. Oh, yeah, dude, it's real nice, dude. But this guy over here took the world's longest sniper shot or was on the team.

Oh, man. You got to get one of Tim Kennedy's grenades in here. Well, nobody could find him. no actually I fuck with some candy but yeah no this place is dope man yeah you've been out here fucking crushing it dude on the right things you just had can to someone's on bro that's a crazy that went nuts yeah that's a crazy bitch right there dude

she's awesome she's awesome bro I mean that all that I mean that but do you look at her eyes like that's a crazy assy assy that's one person you know what coming after you oh yeah no appreciate it but yeah man I've been pumped about this yeah I'm here I heard of crush that dude I'm just out here getting hit in the fucking head,

getting distracted by the murder icons. It's war, it's not murder, right? Fucking all goddamn heroes. Yeah, there's a lot of... Dude, there's just a lot of history in here, man. Yeah, no, this room is dope, man. This room, guys, if ever, you know, if you ever go do something fucking Sean Ryanworthy,

you got to come check out the room. Your stuff's going to be hanging in here, too. Yeah, that's dope, dude. But, yeah, let me give you an introduction here, not that you need one. But Sean Strickland, you're the current UFC middleweight champion and one of the most outspoken and polarizing fighters and mixed martial arts. Since making your UFC debut in 2014, you've built a reputation for your relentless fighting style, elite boxing, and willingness to take on anyone. Outside the Octagon, you've been open about your difficult upbringing, overcoming childhood abuse and how fighting gave you purpose and direction.

Whether people agree with you or not, you've been open about your difficult upbringing, overcoming childhood abuse, and how fighting gave you. built a reputation for speaking your mind challenging the status quo in refusing to filter your opinions. Welcome to the show. And I got to say, man, out of, you know, I have a tremendous amount of respect for you, but the thing I love the most about you is you're unfiltered. And I don't, I don't remember the exact quote, but you know, you said something about you could be making a lot more money if you would just shut your mouth. And I'm in that same boat. And, you know, one thing I've noticed is a lot of people, you know, when the money starts coming, the mouse... Well, you fucked up because you talked about the one group of people you can't talk about.

Like me, you know, I talk about everybody. I'm like the trannies, the homo, the gay. So it's like, I'm already out of it, bro. But I think you talked about the one group of people you can't talk about, which you kind of fucked yourself. But, I mean, it's nice, bro. It's nice not to be like... It's nice not to be bound by anything, right? Well, what are you building?

I mean, I mean, I guess. like I get it. Some people you know, they're building a legacy and that's a financial legacy for their kids or maybe not even for their kids just for themselves. What if it is for your kids? I mean, if you're filtered, you're just, you're teaching your kids to...

How much money do you fucking need? Exactly. Like, I always talk to people like, especially like I'll know like streamers like my boy Aiden, right? Like he'll go and do these like these streams and I'm there with them. I'm like just watching this. I'm like, bro, like, do you ever go home and just fucking hate yourself? Like, do you ever go home and just look in the mirror and be like, this was my day to day.

And he's like, yeah, all the time. And I'm like, bro, like, bro, like, how much more money do you need? Like, you have to be like 50, 100 plus million. Like, how much more fucking money do you need right now? Like, just stop. You don't got to be a fucking dildo your whole life. You just stop. He built himself into a character.

Yeah, you build yourself into a character and you just can't fucking stop. But you're so afraid of like, I don't know if it's like, I don't want to be famous anymore, but it's like you're just so afraid of like losing that. It's weird to me, man. It's weird to me. Like, even with streaming, I would make probably a significant more money than I do fighting streaming,

but like going on chat, I'm like, hey, chat, like, who do you want me to be today? Chat? Like, here, come look at my life. It just, it's so fucking soul-sucking that I almost feel bad for these guys. Like, yeah, you might have a fucking Bugatti,

but like, your substance as a man is gone. Yeah. And then you see some fighters who I used to look up to watch you, you're like, oh, man, I'm like, it's real fucking bad, dude. It's sad. You know, I saw it. When I first started this, I just, I never saw it, you know, just in the, in the veteran community.

And we all know who, you know, there's, I'm sure, I'm sure we, but, you know, it's just, it's like, it's sad because they're living in a fucking cage. So I don't mind. So I get, like, kind of torn between like that because, like, so I never, I always, no offense to seals. I always thought seals were fucking dildos and type of real seals, right? Because, like, the only seals I met were, like, the influence is one. And Mitch, I love my boy Mitch, the guy that I challenged a seal when he came there, Jimmy beat him up. And so I was always like, to me, like, I always thought seals were like influencers. And then you go meet like actual seals.

Yep. And like, you're like, oh, dude, I just thought you were a normal fucking guy. Like, there's this guy in Vegas that you were shooting with. Normal fucking guy. You go look at his Instagram, which is him, his wife and his kids. Like, normal guy, dude. And you're just, so you kind of get, you get shown the, The very small minority of seals that act like deal those, but like the vast majority of them, bro, they're like, I mean, they're like you, you know.

But, yeah, I know. Fucking hey, dude. It's a great saying. The loudest motherfucker in the room is always the biggest shit bag. You ever read that one? I got to shut the fuck up. I'll tell you a funny story, dude. So my buddy owns a gun store.

And the sale team guy or Delta guy, I don't know that. I'm sure you could just Google and pop up. He owns a gun store. and I'm just like walking around like you know hey what's up and I go in the back office and he's having like a meeting this guy in a suit like goatee and this guy fucking looks at me right and I don't know if it's like just like fucked up recognize it's fucked up but he looked at me in a way that like like you want to kill me he didn't say anything you just looked at me in a way that made my like little fucking lizard brain just fire that like there's something wrong with that

fucking guy. So me being a dickhead, the moment I feel that, I start like, I want to see. Like, I want to fucking see. So I start like poking you and pressing buttons. And my, so I'm like, hey, dude, like, dude, you're looking at me weird, man. You're some kind of fucking hit man. Like, what the fuck? What kind of PTSD do you got? He just kind of laughs. That's a hell of an approach. And he just kind of like laughs. I didn't know he's a veteran. He just laughs and smirks. And like, it made me even doubled down because he didn't even say anything. I'm like, all right. well have a good one dog and my buddy calls me that on the gun store he's like dude the guy you were

talking to you he just got let go of like a like a fucking middle eastern prison like he's ex-special forces and he like he got arrested on like a coup like he was trying to assassinate a public figure he's like you're just saying they're talking shit calling him a hit man I'm like oh yeah thank out we're in america but yeah I know but like you know there's a different class of like seals and operators that you don't even know like I The most respect I got for these guys was I did this charity thing. It was like a green bray. You go and like, you know, you just go shoot, you know how it shot a lot of green brays.

Maybe you guys practice a little bit more. It was a competition. But they invited me to go and I was like, man, I don't like, I don't really have much connection to the military, you know? Like I like, I like the military, respect them, but I don't really know much about like, I don't have a connection. I don't have family in the military. Like, but I'll go. getting to know these guys man like life changing life changing like you meet these guys and they're just going away they leave their family for like you know months out of time and some fucked up part of the

world and they don't do it like they'll never be famous they'll never be really be rich and they're just doing it because they're just doing it because they fucking they love the respect of their like the brothers meeting these guys though you're like man you guys are real men like You guys are like the last men on this planet. Yeah. You're quiet. You shut the fuck up. You go and you pursue this ridiculously hard path that nobody could do.

You don't do it for likes. You don't do it for fame. Like you just do it for the respect of your peers. Like to me, like the green berets, the operators, they're one of the last men and like baskins of masculinity on this planet. I don't disagree with you. Masculinity is just disappearing. It was a trip to me because I couldn't I couldn't like fathom that like I was talking to

Like a guy that wanted to go Delta and he was telling me some of the things he had to do And like like like the selection process And I was like man I just kind of fathom Doing that and breaking your body and all this shit And you'll make I don't know how much delta guys Maybe what does the fucking Delta guy make I don't know It's been a long time since I've been like to say 200,000

300,000 like I would not even say that I would say, I mean, when I was in as a low, a low level enlisted seal, it was 65 grand, maybe. That's what I'm saying. And like, in these guys, like, they're pursuing this, like, this anonymity. Like, they would never be famous. They'll never be known. It's like they're going to go being fucked up parts of the world doing fucked up things. And like, you're just going to die.

Like, me as like a white trash kid that wanted to be a fighter, I just couldn't. imagine dedicating your life to something and getting really no payoff besides like the respect and dignity of like your peer group and like your own image. So like you meet these guys like, man, that's just I can't even fucking wrap my head around that kind of like sacrifice and your reward. Well, it's not even, I mean, it's, I agree with you. But you know, nobody goes into it. Well, I don't know about now. You know what I mean? With all the social platforms and shit, but nobody goes into it for that. You know what I mean? If they go. into it because you're drawn to, you're, I mean, not unlike yourself, you're drawn to this,

to the, to the, you're drawn to the, you're drawn to the sport of it. How old were you when you enlisted? I was 17. And now you went straight Seals or were you like? Yeah, I went straight to Seals. I was in Buds by 18 and then I was at a team by 20, 20 years old. I know there's like different degrees of Seal Team, right? Like, Seal Team 6 is like the, like the top dog at the top dog.

They're the Tier 1 element, yeah. Were you tier one or? No. How hard is it get tier one? Like, what do you? I mean, it's fucking tough, man. He talked to a lot of these guys. I mean, a lot of my friends went tier one.

And, you know, they say it was just as tough as going through buds, tougher than going through buds. But different, you know, and different as in, I don't know, I think you really, I mean, I can't, I didn't do it. So, but you can't, you can't, you want it so fucking bad. you know what I mean and it's it's I mean look it's probably similar to being in the ring if you lose it could be humiliating you know in front all those people you go back and tell look at your wife in the eye like yeah I fucking I quit yep and if you try out for a tier one unit and you don't make it all your buddies that you're there with that you've served with in prior units they all see it you know what I mean and it can be humiliating yeah and then you go home and then you try again you know what I mean

and sometimes a lot of times guys will make it the second time around. But I feel like the hardest thing would be the marches. Like I was talking to one of the guys that would be dealt with in your selling me like the length of marches they have to do. And I'm like, fuck, dude. You want me to go like lock me in a cool woman to go sit in the ocean for fucking 24 hours and I can do that. You want to go carry a boat. I can do that. But the moment you said, hey, go walk for a hundred miles with a fucking 50, 70 pound pack on your back.

Like the hardest, the hardest thing about being in those units, dude, is, is, is, earning your right to be there every single fucking day, every single day. Like you're being judged. It's a competition and they'll kick you out, you know, if you don't measure up. And so you'll literally have nightmares of fucking it up in the killhouse or losing a weapon. Or you'll have nightmares of not rising to the occasion when it counts, you know what it counts, you know what it counts to take the shot. and then you wake up and you're like, shit, did that happen? Out of all the, I don't know, same thing with fighting.

You wake up, you're like, oh, shit. Like, I had a dream where I woke up and I was like, oh, shit, I guess in the middle-old champ right now. That's weird. But, like, you know, it's same thing with fighting, but you're always like, you're always pressure. It's pressure. What's the hardest thing about training when you're going through, like, the thing you're like, I hate this the most. Like, I fucking, this is the most miserable fucking thing to me. I mean, for me, it was probably being in the ocean, being, I don't know.

It's a lot. It's the, it's the, I got to the point where when the hype, I would like stop, I could mentally stop myself from shivering so that I could get the hypothermia to kick in quicker. And because once that kicks in, your mind kind of goes numb. You know what I mean? And so did, you don't really give a shit anymore? You're like, oh, good. It's here. It's here. I bet you don't fuck with cold water. No cool plan. I don't do cold plunge shit. And, uh, I probably should, but I don't. And then the other part that you don't hear about is the chafing. So, like, I don't know if they still do this, but, you know, you'll go on a four-mile run

or a 12-mile run or whatever, and you'll get out of the water and you'll still have your wetsuit on. And they'll be like, I mean, this is the shit you don't see on TV. They'll say, all right, everybody take a handful of sand, put it under your armpits, put it down your junk, put a handful of sand down your ass crack. all right jents ladies we're going on a 12 mile run and dude your junk is rubbed can like you could take whatever STD you you know you can think of in this shit is there's no skin on it dude there's no skin on your sack there's no skin under your arms there's no skin in your ass crack do you think

it's yet do you think the training is just as hard now as when you were in harder or the same I don't know I don't know you know I think I think it's changed changed a lot. But from what I understand, and I don't really keep in contact much with the community at all, the end product is just as capable. Yeah. You know, and a lot of shit's changed, you know, since I think it should evolve. You know what I mean? I don't think, I think that, look, there's a lot of broke dicks when I was in because they overdid. Yeah, I think maybe that, but like when you look at the milter of a hole, like I kind of wish we would regress a little bit

be a little bit tougher. Like you look at some of these fucking like, like, I don't even know how they do it. There'll be like a drill sergeant with the fucking iPhone recording like some two fucking liberals like limp dick women fighting. Like bro, like what are you doing? Like how the fuck do you have an iPhone recording? Like should you be like teaching

these fucking people smacking them making them run? Have you seen those these days where it's like how do you fucking even do? And then you post it. There's no like chain of command that says, hey, don't film a recruits being like fucking pussies. Yeah, I don't know. man, the military standard is fucking weird. I actually wanted to join the military and I was a kid.

Really? No, I did. So, like, fighting sucked, dude. Like, I mean, you're so poor. Like, when you're a fighter, you're so fucking poor. Like, you were like, even when the UFC, dude, the UFC guys, they're signing guys that, like,

they're signing guys like 10 and 10. This is- What does that mean, 10 and 10? So, like, 10 to show, 10 to win. So you get 20 grand for a fight? 20 grand. So then you pay off your manager. you pay off, you know, you pay taxes.

Like, dude, if you lose, you'd be making like $8, $7,000. So, and now you go and get fucking sick. You'll get injured and you get locked out. Like, the UFC's fucking brutal. Like, the UFC is so fucking predatory. This is why you see a lot of foreigners excel. Because, you know, guys in Brazil that live in the fucking Vrevella is like, dude, 10 grand of them, bro, that's fucking life changing.

Yeah. I have buddies that go and, like, live in, like, you know, Dagestan or, like, Brazil. And they go back and they live like a fucking king. I'm like, bro, you can't even pay rent for a couple months here. So like the UFC, bro, it's like, it's so fucking predatory pay. Like, I'm happy. I make good money. But like, the only very top guys are making money.

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switch, the sooner you start saving time and money. Get started with ShipStation today and get 60 days free at Shipstation.com with Code SRS. That's Shipstation.com code SRS. Shipstation.com code SRS. Taxes and fees apply. I've always wondered that, you know, because I've always, I've heard that. I didn't realize it was that low. Oh, that's so predatory. Now, mind you, like you could, you could get a couple of couple fights. Maybe in like the UFC, they love you take a short notice fight. The UFC calls you and they say, hey, you want to take a fight on like five day notice. They will give you like, you know, maybe a 30, 40, 50 grand pay bump. But yeah, the UFC loves that shit. They love short notice fights. Give you the biggest pay bumps. And there's a, there's a manager named Sean Shelby. Everybody hates dealing with him.

I mean, I'm friends with him, but like he was my manager at Walterway. Oh, dude, he was such a fucking cut. And I say this as a friend, Sean, you know, like, you're a nice guy, but like, everybody fucking hate you. Like, it gets, it's so bad in the UFC whenever someone's like, oh, yeah, what way class you in? And they're like, oh, yeah, I'm in this division. Like, oh, dude, you got Sean Shelbyman. I'm sorry. Yeah, I'm fucking sorry, dude. This guy's so fucking brutal. Like, you could have a boring fight or something and this motherfucker will bench you for like eight months. Or like, you say, hey, Sean, like, I want to fight and he'll call you with like two weeks out from a fight. Like, hey, we got a fight for you. Like, dude, two weeks out.

You can't give me a little bit more fucking notice. And if you say, no, he'll fucking bench your ass. Yeah, the UFC's fucking brutal. Like,

I wouldn't have crazy. But this is why, like the UFC, it's like, it attracts, you know, fucking degenerates. Like,

10 and 10 for a lot of guys and, like, where they come from, that's still a lot of fucking money. But, yeah, so I would tell anybody don't join the UFC.

And then to be, like, to get in the UFC, you're, uh, dude, the road's rough. Like,

it's way easier now than it was when I was a kid. Now it's, it's like you go get a couple good fights go get on the contenders and get in they'll sign you for 10 and 10 9 to 9 but the road being a ufc fight is rough like you just like you're making no money i think i was making like a thousand dollars to fight a thousand dollars to do you know how do you let i mean do you have a second job no i was uh dude i was sleeping the gym i had this coach uh john munoz we had a falling out but like he'd let me sleep in the gym like he let me sleep in the gym um shacked up with a girl once she

let me sleep in her house for a while. That was nice. Got me out of the gym. Thank you. That was nice. But no, so like, as much as I hate the UFC and I, and I knock on them, they give people opportunity that you never have. Like, yeah, I've never have an opportunity. But, like, going back to the military, I'm like, I'm just fucking poor. My life fucking sucks. Like, I have no dignity. I'm 17, you know, 18, riding a bike to the gym, sleeping on a match. Like, man, I fucking hate myself like I'm a fucking loser you know like I'm a fucking piece of shit right because like I'm no high school I don't have a high school diploma I'm chasing this I'm seeing my friends with cars and like you know I'm seeing my friends elevate their life and here I am just a fucking loser sleeping in the gym

so I was like you know what man like I hate this I don't have a high school diploma so I walked in like all the recruiters like you know and the army was the only one that's like hey they had a um I don't know they still do it, but they had a waiver that if you had 15 college credits, which isn't hard to get 15 credits, apparently. There's only like a few classes. So if you have 15 college credits, they'll waive your, you don't need a GED.

I don't know what it was called, but that was the problem at the time. So I'm like, sweet, I'm going to go join the Army. I care what I do. Just, I want a place to live. I want to have a car and I want to, like, I want to look myself in the mirror and not be like, you're a piece of shit anymore.

So, I go and I sign up I go and I sign up for like the local community college fucking bomb the place man like that bomb the place I look back my dude you're a fucking idiot man because I never went to school like I like my if you had to talk about all my years I went to school

probably like kindergarten first second uh ninth I probably only been to school for like four years of my life are you serious? I have about four years holy shit Yeah, so like, um, yeah, four years. I think about that, like, fuck, man.

Real questionable, real questionable. So, Kamala Harris, she actually really fucked us on this one. In kindergarten, like, so Kamala Harris did this thing, if you were truant, made your parents, like, your parents go to jail. So, you know, growing up, like, dude, it was a fucking nightmare in my house. Like, my dad would get home at four and start fucking drinking. And then, like, we'd be up until, like, two in the morning, just fucking, fucking war war, too.

you know, like, I remember, like, my mom used to, like, sit in the kitchen, and I would, like, sit between her legs and just, like, my dad, like, you're a fucking hoar, you're fucking your boss. And I'm just, like, a little kid holding her legs. How old are you? Oh, fuck, man. This is, like, my other leg, but, like, maybe, like, kindergarten. Like, I mean, this is, like, my early-shunders. I don't, I don't really have a lot of good memories as a kid. Like, it's even, like, pictures, like, my girl will go and, like, she, like, framed my, you know, because I've won the belt twice, so she'll go and she'll want to frame my gloves. And my baby, I just hate it. I can't, I can't look back at it. Anytime I look at, like, a picture of myself. and the past, I fucking hate it. Like, I think it just, like, just from, like, so, like, traumatized as a kid, you know, with who I might, who I was. I can't look at myself and be like,

oh, yeah, there's Sean Strickland. I can't say, but, but, so my girl's funny, she'll make me all the shit. She was just loaded up in the, like, I have, like, a whole closet full, like, all these cool shit I can't look at. But, um, so anyways, um, that happened where I'd be up until, like,

two, three in the morning. And then it gave me, like, severe social anxiety. where like I'd go to school and, you know, I was just fucked up. Like I, like, I mean, I'd just, I'd hide under the bed and I'd want to go to school. Like, so eventually I would go to school and I'd be up all night long because my mom would be, like in World War III, like I'd be up until 2, 3 in the morning watching my mom. And this is like every fucking night, every night. My dad would be going on.

So my dad would get home at like 4 o'clock and just start drinking. And then by like, and then by, uh, by like fuck dude by by uh I don't know like 9 o'clock dude just war war a three every now and then he would yell at you and be like

get your ass upstairs like you know because I would like try to protect my mom like go upstairs so you'd go you go upstairs and like you're just seeing there like you know fucking crying your brains out listening to your mom I hope my mom doesn't die tonight oh my mom doesn't die and I actually I remember one time

you say you hope your mom doesn't die yeah like you know because you're just just like, you're laying in bed, like, hearing your dad, like, I'll fucking kill you. Like, I mean, I remember my dad, like, I mean, earliest remembers here, like, earliest memories here, like, earliest memory is telling my dad that, like, you cheat on me again, I'll cut you and burn you and put your body in acid and bury you in the backyard. It's like, all night long, you're just like, you're hearing this shit, right? So they're like, it's just anyways. So I remember, um, people ask if I'm religious, you know.

You religious, man? I am. So I remember, like, laying in bed once and, like, you know, being a kid crying like cry i know no pillow sheets right know like i know like i know sheets in my fucking bed and like i know like pillow sheets like when you have like a when you have like a dirty nasty brown fucked up pillow that uh with no with no fucking case on it it's like waxy so i remember just like crying my fucking eyes out almost in this pillow and i'm like dude there's no god like right like if there's a god like how the fuck like how the fuck is there of god and these are my earliest memories like why would god do this to me me. Do you ever think about that still? Yeah. And then like, I remember like wanting to die

before I knew what it was. Now with kids are so like suicides a thing. But like when you're a little kid, you don't know what suicide is. But I remember laying in bed like man, I just like, why am I here? Like I want this to like gone. You know, so like, um, yeah. So laying in bed all night long, just not sleeping. So I'd go to school. And I would just sleep all day long, just, you know, lay on my desk and just sleep all through school. So kindergarten happened and then I don't know if my mom was working at time, but then first grade happened and then she started working. So now I had to go and like, I'm up all night long and I have to get myself up.

I have to get myself up and then walk to school. So you're telling me like first grade, I did it. I walked to school. I showed up like late every day. I remember like when 9-11 happened, like I was fucking sleeping. It was on the West Coast. Like it happened at like, you know, every time it happened 10 a.m.

I was fucking sleeping. I remember I walked into like out my third grade class. Like everyone's like watching. I'm like, hey, what's up guys? I just waking up, you know? Like what's going on? So, uh, yeah.

So I just would sleep all day long. And then once I hit like third, third, fourth grade, I started ditching. And I was like, dude, I don't have to go to school anymore. Like, what the fuck? I just, I've walked to school. Like, I'm not going to go.

I'm not going to go. So I just not fucking go. It's funny. I had this one teacher and it makes me laugh to you because I got this one teacher that took my desk from me because she got so mad I was sleeping. So like she literally was like, Sean, you can't stop sleeping in class. I'm taking your desk from you and make you stand. So I'm just like, I'm like, I'm mind you, I'm a fucking huddle him as a kid. I'm like, fuck you, bitch.

I'll just sleep on the fucking floor. So I literally just like slept on the floor. And like she took my desk. I'll be outside of desk. I'm just in the back of the class. just sleeping on the floor. And mind you, she doesn't know, I'm sleeping because I'm like, I'm in a fucking World War 3 at my house, right?

So it's like, it's just kind of funny how like society just, you know, never asked, Hey, Sean, why can't you stay awake in class? Oh. Shit, man. So, and then going in the fourth grade, they did this, um, they did this, um, they did this, Kamala Harris did the thing that if kids were truant in school, they'd prosecute, they'd prosecute the parents. So I started ditching, like I want to go to school.

So I'm not a choice. Like, either she's going to get charged or homeschool me. So now I'm homeschooled from fourth grade, fifth, six. I went back in middle school. But now, mind you, I went back in middle school and I'm fucked up, right? Like, I've only been socialized. Like, I was like fucking moat. Dude, I have fucking friends.

So I was like socialized from, you know, kind of socialized for two years. That's not socialized, man. And dude, mind you, at my house. That's just humiliated. Oh, yeah, mind you, dude. Like, I mean, I was watching fucking porn when I was, like, in fucking second grade, you know? Like, we had, like, a, like, a little bit porn box in my fucking, like, my brother

had watched. My sister's funny, dude. My dad, you know, like, back in the day, you kids don't know this shit, but they had, like, the TV with the, uh, the built-in VCR. So my dad would always take my sister's VCR and she had to be like, she's probably like six years older than me. So she's like middle school. And be like, oh, dad, you left your fucking porn in the BCR as she's like watching goes to watch a fucking Disney movie. And there's like some fucking dumb porn tape. So like we were just around that. Like it was just, we were just around

that shit, you know? It was like very like just, yeah, there's a porn box. Oh, dad left the fucking porn in the VCR. Like, you know. So I'm just painting this picture of like me being this unsocialized like she's not socialized. And then, Um, my grandfather was like, kind of like my hero, which is like, military guy, or ex-military he may only did a few years. I don't know if he, like, probably got kicked out. But to paint a picture of my grandfather, he's like this six, seven big white guy, South, like the most racist motherfucker you will ever meet, you know, like cleaning a fucking gun on the fucking porch, dude. Like, I don't want us to drop the hardy R, but on the fucking, you know, oh, get these.

fucking off my, off my lawn, you know, I mean, that was him. That was him. So me being this like piece of shit bullied kid by like everybody, my brother, my sisters, like I was a youngest, the youngest in this like brutal fucking food chain. So I just got like, I got the worst of it. So like me, I had this big fucking big white strong man who had guns and like I was like, man, this is like, he's the only male role model in my life. And all he would talk about, racist, racist, racist, fucking blacks, black, black Mexicans, racist, racist, racist. So I just like, I assume that identity.

Like, there's this movie American History X. Oh, yeah, I know it. I mean, that was, that was like who I wanted to be. Red Laces, swastika. Like, that was like, man, that's like, that's who I want to be. Like, that's the kind of guy I want to fucking be. So,

seventh grade comes around and, you know, I just, I'm full on fucking eat the pudding, you know, I'm like a super just, real fucking racist, you know? Yeah, like, so I'll give you an example. One of actually my good friends, this was a, my seventh grade. This was a, now it was actually a good friend of my, my boy, Josh.

But his sister used to sit behind me in class. And I think I said something like, hey, you know, like, leave me the fuck alone. You go basketball, you know, like, let me the fuck alone. So he goes and, like, tells, like, a big old black brother Josh. Seventh grade. I'm like, I'm held you in seventh grade.

What, 12 maybe? Yeah, like 12, right? So I'm at lunch and this guy comes up to me and he goes,

hey, man, like you said some racist shit to my sister. And I look at him, I say, hey, you fucking, you know,

Hardy are. Like, why don't I go give you a fucking rope and you can go fucking hang yourself in a tree? Like, I'm like 11,

12 years old saying shit like this. So, I mean, I just, I'm using this to paint a picture. Later in life, we actually became

Like, you know, as I started training, he started training. And I kind of grew out of it. We came like really close friends. And, you know, I mean, like, hey, sorry, man. So that happens. And then I got kicked out of school and middle school for hate crime. I don't know what I fucking did. I probably, like, were just spouting off some shit.

They put me in a class where they isolate you. They put you in a, you go in at 11, you're going at like 10 a.m. And they let you out at 1 a.m. And they do it to keep you away from them. So I was in that for a while. And then I went and then I told my mom, like, I can't do this. So she homeschooled me because I was ditching again because Kamla. So I was ditching.

Now I'm homeschooled again for eighth grade. Real quick, is anybody at the school, is anybody outside of your family asking you what the hell is going on in the home life? No, no, man. They're just disciplining. No, my sister's a school psychologist and like, you really, like, what do you do? You know, you can, like, you can involve yourself as much as you can. you're going to do you can't really change anybody's lives yeah so now i'm back in school in ninth grade and i'm loving i love football i love football like you know i fucking football is like

my my dream i love it's the only time i could fucking hit somebody but i couldn't keep a gpa i've only done like i mean i could probably barely reading a right at this time you know so i couldn't keep a gpa i couldn't keep a fucking two point oh my life dependent on it so then like I got kicked out of school. Or no, then I, once football was the thing, dude, I just gave no fucks. I got kicked out of school again for a hate crime. I think a Jewish kid was running for class or office. I was like, dude, I think I said like the last thing we need is another fucking kike running for power.

And mind you, I'm like, I'm in fucking, I don't even know what that means. Like, I don't even know what that fucking means, dude. I'm in ninth grade. I'm ninth grade. I don't know what the fuck that means. You know, but like something my grandpa would say, so I say it. So then I go to these like just shitty gang school with all these fucking like which probably not help my racism at all.

Orange Grove. It's like a this is shitty. I mean, there's guys like fucking smoking crack in the bathroom. Like mind you, I'm like, I'm like the only white kid here. So I'm like getting fucked up. I'm fighting these little fucking little fucking degenerates, you know? Like it's, it's making me worse. And this is like why institutions usually make people worse.

We're like, people like, oh, put them in jail, lock them up. Like, no, you're just making them worse. Like, you're just fucking making them worse. So I tell my mom, like, I can't be here. Like, I'm like the token racist white hit kid, you know, I'm getting in fights. So I don't tell my mom. She just knows. So she homeschools me again.

What does homeschool look like? It's just fucking nothing, dude. Just nothing? It's nothing, dude, I don't want, you know? So she homeschools me. Yeah, like nothing. She homeschools me again just because it's like, you know, I go back. And then, like, finally, like, I go back to, uh, I go back to school again at, like,

10th grade. I do another fucking hate crime. I get fucking kicked out. I think I got to fight with a bunch of black guys, like, jump me in the locker room, and I got fuck because I was white. I was like, what are you talking about? They're like, well, you said fucking, I was like, well, I mean, what do you think? He's like, I got my ass kicked by, like, five black guys.

What are you talking about? It's like, I got kicked out again for a hate crime. And then, uh, and then I'm in, like, and I'm in the shitty school. I transferred to a continuation school to get my credits. to graduate, I'm like in, I don't know if I'm like sophomore, junior. I think I might have been going to my junior year. And then I was like, oh, fuck. And then I, so during all this, I'm just really pissed off angry.

I start training now. I got, like, my mom brings me to a gym. I start training. I fucking love it. Dude, I love, like, training to me was the only time my life ever been happy. I tell the story, but I remember walking a gym. I'd be like, fucking 14 years old, 15 years old. And I just got this shit kicked out of me.

the other shit kicked out of me by like like 19, 20 year olds beat the fuck out of me. Only time my life ever been happy. Really? Like the only time my life I've ever been happy was like leaving out of the fucking bloody nose. I'm all fucked up and like I love this. Like I don't know what this is, but I'm happy. So during my sophomore year, I think the sophomore junior senior, I'm training now. I'm at this continuation school.

I grow my hair out super long. That's where Tarzan came from because, like, I was so, like, you know, like, I wasn't racist. I was angry. And once I started training, I really was like, man, I'm not racist. I'm just fucking pissed off and angry. I'm just super fucking angry. So, like, going back to, like, the shame I felt on myself, I wanted to get away from, like, Sean, the little kid. And I wanted, like, recreate my identity.

So I grew my hair out long. And, I mean, they used to call me, like, my nickname in training was hate. Sean the hate Strickland just because like like everything in me was just hate fucking hate the color of the wall fucking hate you hate this hate him like everything with me was just like the only thing I felt was just hate for everything so I grew my hair out really fucking long I started training just ate the pudding of training loved it every day after train I'd skip school to go train and I remember talking to one of my teachers about like graduating I was like fuck this I want to be a fighter and I just like left school I was like I never came back and just went full-time

fighting from like from like 15 to to about I think 18 or 19 he started at 15 yeah I started at 15 so then I'm about 18 19 years old going through like fighting lower circuits I got I turned as a professional fighter at 17 so I'm like just going through the circuit just fighting taking fights but I'm like I'm making no money I'm a piece of shit dude like I'm a fucking piece of shit I hate myself I hate myself even more now because now it's like Now I'm becoming a fucking man and I have like, I'm even worse off. So, um, I do you hate yourself?

It's just like, you have no money, dude. You have no self. I've no, I've no fucking, I have no fucking money. I'm riding in a bike everywhere I go. Like, I, like, I'm just a fucking loser. And mind you, I had no social skills. So, like, there was no, like, oh, like, everybody else is out going to parties and getting laid and, like, party. And I had no social skills.

Like, I didn't, I didn't have that. I remember one time something really stuck with me. I mean, I have a few things that stuck with me. Like seventh grade, I think my math teacher, history teacher, Ms. Wodge, she looked at me. She's like, Sean, they build prisons for people like you. Absolutely right, 100%. Like, after I look back, I'm like, yeah, you're 1,000% right.

Like, without fighting, the best thing you could have done for me is put me in a cage and said, don't come out. But, you know, through fighting, I kind of, like, found myself. But I had this football coach fucking dick of a guy. All my buddies were, like, going out to a movie or something. And I was like, dude, what the fuck? You know, I invite me and my coach, 100% right. My coach walks out and he's like, dude, why would they invite you?

You're a fucking asshole. Like, you're a fucking dick. Dude, nobody likes you. And me, like, at hindsight, like, yeah, you're 100% right. Like, 100% right. So, I have these, like, little moments in my life that you just remember that, like, an adult told me, never a kid, like an adult, somebody in authority told me. I'm like, yeah, man, like, you're definitely on to, you're definitely on to something.

So I'm training now. I made you had like you had nobody you had nobody oh yeah no I was like it was a positive influence on you everybody just well no I did so like I had um my like all my positive influences were like you know my grandfather like the guys like I looked up the American history X guys I just I said positive influence but not no positive like nobody to like really the gyms helped me because like there were people that like that were like me that um the gyms helped me that um the gyms helped me because there are a lot of people and I fit in. I would go in like, the only positive influence I got with from the gym. Like you'd go fight people and like, you know, like, you have like a brotherhood in the gym. I'm sure it's probably very similar to the military

just obviously you're not fucking killing people. So it's probably not as strong, but like, you know, you're with these people every day. You're fighting them. That really changed my life training and getting the anger out. If it wasn't for fighting to you, like I always say like,

oh, you mean, no, I want to be a serial killer. I'd fucking would have just murdered somebody on the street and been locked up in the I would have been institutionalized for the rest of my life. Like it wouldn't have been like there would be no romantic story behind it. I would have just been pissed off fucking done a horrific act and then institutionalized the rest of my life. I would have got out. I would have done another horrific act and then I would just be institutionalized for

rest of my life. That was like my path if it wasn't for fighting, you know, just the long line of institutionalization. But so now I'm like 18 years old. My life fucking sucks. I'm a, you know, just no self-respect, no fucking dignity. And then I go to a recruiter and I'm like, guys, my life sucks, dude. Like, I just fucking sucks. I just, I'll do anything.

I'll fucking, I'll do anything. Just give me a uniform. Give me a place. Like, let me look in the mirror and be like, dude, you're, you're not a loser. Like, you know, and I think that's a lot of, like, I'm sure a lot of people want that. Like, they want the uniform. They want the respect of it. Just like, you know, you're not that guy anymore.

You're that guy. You're the fucking, you know, the guy on the wall. So I go, I sign up for college to go get my 15 credits, bomb the placement. So I probably didn't even do more than I needed to. The day before college started, I go to like a high school party just because like, I'm like, I don't know why it's. You know, because it was like the in between to where like high school kids, right out of high school. They went there. So it was like the in between.

And I was just bored. I was just fucking bored. and I was like, you know, I'm not getting no pussy. I'm just, I don't drink, by the way. And there's these two kids. And I was like, I just want to fuck somebody up. Like, the only thing is going to make this night better if I could just fuck somebody up. So my buddy, like, goes and, you know, like, I'm like, mind you, I'm a predator.

Like, right? I'm a fucking predator. Like, even, like, I'm not just like some, like, you know, fucked up kid that like, oh, yeah, poor Sean. Like, you know, he just, he had a rough patch. At this point of my life, I am a predator. Like, everything to me is like, I'm looking for. I'm looking for my kind of fun and my kind of fun is usually like to

I always say like my kind of fun is like to you know violate the rights of others like that's my kind of fun. Dominance. Yeah. So I mean like it comes down to like I think they call it conduct disorder and then it goes to anti-social personality disorder and like you have to have like and I have every single one of them like you have to have like one of like 10 traits. I have literally

every single fucking one of them. Every single fucking one of them. So I'm at this party I see two victims you know they're like eh they'll fit the bill tonight they'll give me something to do

and I mind you I'm stone cold fucking sober so my buddy my buddy starts like hitting on one of their chicks and then one guy like comes over

and I get between nothing I give a fuck I just like you know give me my opportunity I want my fun I want to have fun so he uh

he pretty much like reaches out I like to grab my shirt and I just fucking drill him in the face and which is fun I've hit so many fucking people before like you know you just hit a guy brother gets out of car comes a run at me fucking boom

drew him in the face my all it's fun so i go home next time i know i get a fucking warrant for my rest so cops like call me or getting they call my brother and my brother tells me they oh do they're looking for you so i go meet up with the cops and i wasn't like a hard and criminal i was just a fucked up kid that like to hurt people and it just it was a high school party i got a fight the first guy hit dude i just fucking destroy his face can't do it in a fight but i hit a fucking loser when I'm a kid and I'm fucked. I mean, like, fucking broke, broke his nose, broke his job, knocked out of those fucking front teeth.

He had to go get like multiple reconstructive surgeries. The second guy hit, just broke his nose. I had to go get surgery. And I got arrested. Now I'm sitting in. So I got arrested. The guy showed me the pitch. He's like, hey, I don't want to take it to jail, dude.

I know it was just a high school fight, but it's like, they're fucked up. So I have to take it to jail. So I'm sitting in it. I'm sitting in, fucking counting now with all these white supremacist skinheads and it's a funny story so I'm

walking past I'm a kid I post my much I'm a kid bro look at that picture I'm like fuck like you're like you're like a dorky ass little kid professional fight at the time but I still fucking kid so I'm walking past like the black cell and they segregate in Riverside County dude it's like

you have like 10 15 big old fucking black guys hanging on the cell like just like talking shit you walk by and I'm like oh fuck so I get to my the segregation cell and all these white guys come up to you and I was only in for like a day and a half it was in very long so they get to the white cell I remember I'm like telling me like hey Sean like they go they make your bed they show you what because like when you get arrested they give you this little wood they get a little box and they give you the low down like hey you can't shower the black guy you can't

fucking shit what we eat like and they give you the low down at the very end of it I was like you know guys I'm not really like I'm not really racist, so it's like, how does that work? And they're like, well, here's the thing, Sean. You're really with us or you're not? And I remember walking past that fucking, that cell with all the black guys talking shit to me. And I was like, I'm in, brother. Like, I'm in, dude.

I'm in the club, dude. When do I get my tattoo? Let's get a swastika. So it just shows you like institutionalized, right? But I remember the thing like- You don't have a choice. Yeah. But I remember the thing, though, when I was in there,

how much I admired these people. Mind you, these guys are fucking shitbags. One guy in there was for attempted murder. But like I looked at these people, like, I mean, I'm sure you would look at like a, like a Navy SEAL or like a, like a, someone you look at a hero. I looked at these shitbag people like, man, you like a spy, like I inspired her. I talked him for a little bit. I was like, you're who I want to be.

Like, you're kind of who I want to be. Like I admire this. What was it about them that you admired? Just like. Community. community I mean they were cool and they're really nice to me

you know they're fucking really cool to me which is probably like something I think it often but yeah they just like just the tattoos they're like they're just fucking shit bad they're savages

like they would do like it's just like I don't know man I always say like I don't you have a pretty good upbringing I did I had a pretty good upbringing I didn't like it upbringing So whenever you go through like, and I'm sure you've experienced a lot of like PTSD, but I don't, I don't know how like, I don't know what PTSD feels like as an adult, right? So like I never like, I don't know what it's like to be normal and then watching your buddy's head get blown. Like I don't know what that's like. I don't know what kind of like what kind of that does the brain, you know? It does less to the brain than what happened to you. It's not some people who did to some people like, I mean, I've, I met some people that like after they went to like I

and like they were like usually IDs. See those shun, but a lot of like, like I had an abnormal childhood for the industry that I was in. Yeah. You know, and a lot of,

a lot of guys go in there. But it probably helps you because you're adjusted. You're emotionally secure. You're an oddball. I mean, a lot of the guys that go and have a back, you know,

their childhoods like you. And I didn't, I didn't even fucking know that, man. I mean, my best friend in the SEAL teams was dropped off on a doorstep. in a car seat.

Yeah. You know, like shit like that. And, and, but, or like, what you're talking about. And I didn't even know this until I started this. Yeah. And, like, you see all this stuff in here. Like, a lot of these guys have been molested as kids. They've been sexual abuse, like, very similar to your situation.

Uh, I have one guy in here. Steve, a friend of mine. I mean, they're putting, like, put cigarettes out. His stepdad was putting cigarettes out on his dick. And you go to, like, I did therapy for like three and a half years after I left CIA. And they kept going to childhood. They kept going to my childhood. There's just, you know, there's nothing there.

Like, I had a great childhood. You know, I feel guilty about it after time. But no, but that's good, though, because it makes you, like, more emotionally secure. Like, like, my wife. great childhood, as perfect as you get. And that's the only reason why we're together. Because every time I'm with a woman like me, it's like we're two fucked up people together.

But my wife is like so together that she could like... Now mind you, I like, I don't... I'm not me. Like, you know, usually if you have a wife, guys, you got real learn how to just like repress everything. Just fucking don't be yourself. Just fucking be completely different. Go hang out with your boys.

But yeah, I always wonder, though, like, like, because I met some soldiers or like my buddy. that were like usually the IEDs will get them like if they had a friend die like Iraq or Afghanistan with ID those guys are usually ones that fucked up they feel like survivors guilt I mean it's I'm not I'm not diminishing it I'm just saying that when you go through it you know when you start to unpack everything it all starts with with the childhood drama stuff man well I mean didn't it uh what that forms who you become and that forms everything Well, Mattis, did Mattis say something?

Somebody asked him about PTSD. He's like, do some people that get it or they don't? It's like, if you're prone to it, you're going to get it. I don't know the quote, but he said some quote about PTSD. Who said that? General Mattis about like, he's like, it's either you get it. Like some people get it, some people don't. Everybody gets a dude.

Yeah. That dude's full of shit if he's saying that. Everybody fucking deals with the toughest motherfucker. Well, I think it's the ones that like bear themselves in the bottle. You know, it's like there's some guys that like bearer themselves in the bottle. That's everybody. He's an officer. He's a general.

Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah, I guess he doesn't really fucking know, right? He's the one that says he orders. I don't know his whole background, but he's a fucking four-star general. You know what I mean? So, I mean, he's pretty far-remating. But I know some guys that's surviving it.

Like, I know some guys who are doing contracting work, like, even with, like, you know, I don't want to get into any details, but, like, there's a big current thing going right now, and they're over there. But, uh, they love it. They fucking- You get addicted to it, man. I mean, just like, you're talking about, I mean, that's where you excelled fighting. You're going to parties and you get addicted to fucking whooping people's ass, right? You get addicted. He's like, dude, I fucking, I stabbed a guy.

Here's a knife to you. Like, I fucking kill her. Like- You get, you get, you get addicted to it. You get addicted to the adrenaline. You get addicted to the killing. Some guys have killed so many people that, I mean, it gets, it gets boring. It's like, oh, I've not killed anybody with, a water bottle before.

You know what I mean? Let's see how that is. I'm going to knife this guy in the neck. I'm going to knife him in the crotch. I'm going to try to rip his liver out. I'm going to hit him in the formal down here. And it becomes like, how many different ways can I gut a dude? Yeah, well, he's telling me a story about, you know, the place that we can't talk.

I don't want to get in nothing. I don't know if I'm fucking violating here. I don't get in trouble. But he was, like, telling me that, like, they had to go and refrain someone from just smoking civilians. where like he would just like their contract and work he'd like he would just fucking shoot shoot people and like we have to stop like you like you can't just go fucking shoot people like you just can't go like like some people man some people are just like they're just but you know what it is you're religious I'm not but it's like I wasn't but like I can I could use like metaphor

like like theology like you everybody starts off with like a soul, like a really good like soul, right? And every time you do a bad deed, you like, you kind of erode that part of you. Like every time you pushy envelope of something horrible to do, you kind of like, you erode that and you kind of like, you kind of take it away from you. So I think with people with PTSD, especially like with like when you have a victim mentality, I would actively try to erode that and you kind of like, you kind of take it away from you. So I think with people with PTSD, especially like with like when you have a victim mentality, I would actively try to erode my, my goodness, right? Because like being good never got me anything. Being good got me like I was fucked up.

I was a victim. Like that was like I was sad. I was fucking scared. I would cry. Like being good, that good little soul that you have that you're born with. And I'm not religious, but like I picture would be like, you know, like a little glowing fucking ball inside you. that good little soul that you have when you're a kid, it's so innocent.

It's so innocent. And then as life and adults and the cigarettes and like as, as you become an adult and like these fucked up people, like, can just touch your soul a little bit. And they just, they make you feel like such an victim that we're like, you want to talk about like the antisocial degenerates, like the conduct disorder. You start realizing that like it's bad.

Like this good little, this good thing you have in you, that like you care about women, you care about like the victim, like, it doesn't get you anywhere. Just like, it only makes, it only puts you in a bad place. So like you start growing up and you just start like carving away and just just chipping away at it. Like I don't want this anymore. It's not good. Like I don't want to be sad. I don't want to be a fucking victim.

Like I don't want this anymore. Take it out of me. I take it, take it the fuck out of me. So you start like doing things to just like scar yourself. Like whether it be like you commit a hate crime or like, you. you violate the rights of others or like you kill a fucking animal you just start doing these then like it starts after a while like it feels good and then you start pushing the envelope of like well i want to know what this like you said with a bottle i want to kill somebody of the

bottle like you start pushing the envelope of like what bad deed can i do to like start making me feel something and after a while you're just like you're just so fucking numb you're just like i can do anything i could fucking i could kill anybody i could fucking i could do anything right now and i could sleep like a baby tonight. But that's what you want, right? That's what your body, that is what your mind is telling you to do. Like, you got to be a hard man. Like, you're in a different world, dude. But you got to be able to do any horrible act and go to bed, fine. And it feels good after a while. You're like, oh, man, dude, I'm like, whether you're sleeping with random women, whether you're like violating the rights of others. Like, after a while, you're good. I'm good. I don't know.

I feel fine. So I think that's like. like, you know, talking about like PTSD and like you're talking about like, what can I kill a man with? There's a bottle. It, you just start chipping away at that like little goodness inside you. And once it's gone, dude, once it's gone, life is nice. It's, it's worse because you're miserable, right? You're fucking miserable and like you hate life. But it's like, but it's a misery you like.

I wouldn't say it's nice. I mean, everything, it all gets fucking boring, you know, like. But like, it's a great childhood. But it's boring, but no, it's boring now because it's like you're Sean Ryan, the podcast with the family. That's not what I'm talking about. I got so fucked up. And I hated, I hated being in this country because I couldn't get as dark as I needed to be. And so I packed up my shit and I moved to Columbia, South America.

And I lived down in Medellin for like five years. But a part of you misses that, right? No. You don't miss it at all? Not anymore. You got the family of kids? Yeah, I got a family. I got kids.

But down there, dude, I just felt empty. Yeah. I was like, this is like, what am I? I just felt empty. Like, there was no, there was no good. Like, no good. It was, dude, I mean, yeah, was it a good time for a while? Yeah, it was a good time for probably about two or three years.

And then. At some point, you're just like, yeah. And then it was like, how many more like women am I going to bring in here? Yeah. Like, shit's as weird as it can possibly get now. Like, everything you can imagine, I've done. Yeah, and I started, like, I got into Coke and I started, I was like, how deep into this network can I infiltrate?

Yeah. And I started infiltrating cocaine networks and figuring out how it works and, like, fucking slapping dudes around down there hoping I would get killed, hoping, like, like just, I would bring calculator down there because if, you know, have you been down to South America. If you go down there as a white boy, it's a sin for them not to rip you off. Yeah. You know, and so I would go to the co.

I would go by, I guess not tons of Coke. I'm not like, in an apartment. Now, are you doing this for a work or you're just trying to party? Both. Okay. No, no, no, no, not work. It wasn't work. It was, I mean, it was, it was like feeding.

Dude, it was feeding my adrenaline. Work was Middle East. This was, you know, this was totally different. But, um, but I, I would like, like pull up my iPhone calculator and like however many grams or whatever I'm buying, I would put it on my calculator and I would like, like let's say if let's say I'm buying, I don't know, a hundred grams I would try to put it on the calculator or 50 grams I put it on my calculator and type in like four or five point da da da da da da da da da da da da and make it look like it was a scale.

But, uh, and I did. slap them, you know, and like hoping, like, I'd slap them, but I'm hoping, like, you got to miss it a little bit. Fucking kill me. But you got to miss it a little bit, right? Kill me. Let's go on. But you got to miss it.

You got a little bit. Like, there are some parts of you must. I don't, dude. Like, it just got, like, I just, you know, every time I would go into those areas, I'd be like, every moped, every motorcycle that would drip by me, I'd be like, all right, this is it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head. I know it. They're going to drill me in the back of the head.

They're going to take it a little bit. Yeah. Now, when were you religious in or after? No, I wasn't religious, though. Does that sound, does that sound like somebody? I say that, because I'm saying, like, at some point, like, now you, like, you value peace and, like, you don't want to be a piece of shit. So it's like, like, did you, like, what was your come to Jesus moment?

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Well, I went down, I mean, it took, I was calling my, I was calling my parents and telling them I'm going to die down there. You know, and I remember, like I said, had a good upbringing. I have a good relationship with my parents, but the seal teams and the contracting stuff would say, like, fucked me up. And, um, and it, I just became addicted to adrenaline. So I would go down there and, and, like, you can do whatever, you want you could do whatever you want and i mean i was making maybe like 200 250 000 a year

a contract in back then which was great more money than i ever fucking made and uh especially back then in the what whatever two like and yeah a lot of fucking money yeah and uh and um so i could buy my way out of any trouble that i got it you know the cops would arrest me i'd wind up in jail on the way to jail, I'd just pay them off. Like, hey, let's stop at this ATM. I'll give you a couple thousand dollars and taught myself Spanish. I totally immersed myself into that, like, lifestyle. And, um, and I, and I, I, I Odeed a couple times. And I remember thinking, like, I remember waking up and them, dude, it was crazy, like, down there. Like, it was fucking crazy. I used to hang out at these clubs. They'd have cocaine. What about you living your identity? Has that been hard?

Like, because that was your identity for so long. And now you're kind of like, Yeah, but nobody knew it, dude. Nobody knew it. It was just girls and strippers and hookers and drug dealers and like, and then I would come back to the Saints. Nobody knew what the fuck I was doing. Yeah. You know what I mean? Some people did, but.

Yeah, you're not locked into. I was just like, I'm going to die down here. Like, what does my life even fucking mean? Yeah, no. And I got run out of there by the, by their version of the feds. and kind of I can't say escape and evasion but I just got out

because I got tipped off that they were on me Now you weren't down there working you're just down their party or a little bit of both Oh you know you're just on the party Yeah Oh yeah you're one of those guys

You're all those kind of savages Yeah No it was not like It wasn't work it wasn't I wasn't I'll tell you guys If you ever been to Columbia And everyone's fucking mean to you It's because fucking people like this

When you go to Columbia I mean it was just I just like that's just like you're talking about man you would show up to a high school party and crack dudes in the face. Like I would show up to the most dangerous neighborhoods in Columbia and weasel my way in and like be partying with these fuckers at two, three, four, five, six in the morning

going three or four or five days straight, you know? I mean, I remember like partying in places you'd look up and you could see like the water, you know, it was like those created like, like, like tin roofs. Yeah. You know what I mean? and the Tim wouldn't even be matched up so you could see the sun rays coming in.

It was just disgusting, man. It was disgusting. Yeah, well, I could see why you wouldn't miss that, you know, but like maybe like the CIA contracting work, do you miss that? No. I don't miss any of it anymore, man. Oh, shit.

I mean, my life's totally different now. You know, I don't like... But I imagine that's hard for a lot of vets, right, to let go of that. Yeah, but you have to be willing to let it go. Yeah. You know what I mean? like now but I mean

my adrenaline gets fed in different ways now you know so and I have to watch myself and be aware of what the fuck I'm doing but like all I mean we're talking about being unfiltered at the beginning that can give you

that can give you an adrenaline rush it's so fucking white here where you live where you live dude it's when you I mean when you're calling out the most powerful people in the world on a on a platform and you're hey you're becoming that guy bro

you're one of the most powerful guys now, your voice. I mean, like, is it crazy, but, like, your voice could change elections now. Well, they didn't change it for the better. Yeah, well, yeah, I've got fucking scum of that one. But, yeah. You know what I'm saying, though? So, I mean, it just, but I'm aware of, like, I'm aware of that part of me, you know, and I got to reel myself in still to this day.

Like, you know, I'm like, are you doing this because it's actually, like, the righteous thing to do? Or are you doing this because you're, like, chasing that adrenaline rush? because I'll do it and then it gets released and then I'm like, there it is. I can feel it and then I get fucking paranoid and, you know. I don't like to travel out my wife because the longer I'm without her,

like, the more I'm like, the more I'm like falling back into who I am. It's like, she like, dude, my wife grounds me. It's like if it wasn't for her, I'd be in such like, even being who I am now, you would have a very different version

of who I am now. Like you would have a fucking completely different fucking version. But even like when I travel on my wife, so I was out trained, in Florida like it just like that like starts creeping back in the boredom starts creeping back in once they get bored it's like it just starts like I go home and I hit my recenter and I'm like wait no no dude this is you this is you man you have a mortgage like you got fucking dogs you'll wife

and him family one day like this is you but if I travel out my wife a lot it's like really I like ground you yeah I'm like on the cut even like I was walking to like this cute little fucking city we're in, dude, and they're like, all, like, the nice white people walking them with, hey, what's up, boy, man? I'm so fucking boring. No threats. No, like, there's no danger. It's just, like, walking through the street.

Like, I can't fuck anybody up. There's no potential violence. You're just like, fuck, I'm ready to commit serious to that right now. The fuck am I here. It's a good place to raise kids, man. Yeah, dude, right? It's a really good place to raise kids. Your wife would probably love it here.

Oh, yeah, no, she would. She always, she's from upstate New York. So she's always trying to go back, but I just can't deal with fucking, I can't deal with fucking liberals. And then New Yorkers are kind of dicks, even the upstate, the east coast. I think it's like, um. Well, Northeast in general. The Northeast in general is just a different vibe for me. Yeah, they're just fucking dickheads, dude.

Like, I was in a liquor store and there was a black guy buying like a fucking, you know, buying lottery tickets on the way over here. Bro, super cool, man. Real nice guy. We started talking about life. You don't get that in the Northeast. Like, they're just fucking dicks. I don't know.

I don't know why. I've actually put a lot on. And I think it's just like overly educated people or just like away from violence. Like, um, because like when you're like when you're when you're when you don't have the education and like Northeast is all about education. I like schools like it's a different class of fucking people in the Northeast. Not like New York. New York's a shit hole.

But we're talking about like 99% of New York that like when you meet a man in the like the ghetto, you look at him and you acknowledge him and you say, hey, I'm not a friend. Like I'm not an enemy. So when I go and I walk and I see a man And like whether it be black Mexican or like some kind of trashy Like I'll look at him like hey what's up I see you You see me like we're two men like I'm not here to fucking kill you like What's up but when you're in the like when you're in like the north east I don't think they're violent

I don't think they're violent people so it's like when you're in these nice white communities There's no need to like there's no need to let me know that you're not a threat I just find it fucking boring I hate it fucking hate it Do you think you'll hate it if you have kids? I think I'll just sack up and just fucking be born and white, you know? I think I'll just sack up, just fucking sack up. Because I know what I want to do, like the same as you. Like, well, like, you're different now, but like what I want to do is not good for me.

It's not good for my, not good for who I am. And I miss it sometimes I think of how nice it we just go fucking die in a hole and just like, but. But you have to allow yourself to enjoy life too, man. Do you know what I mean? Yeah. You have to give it a chance. Yeah. I don't know, man.

I just find it so fucking boring. Like even if I'm at, like, getting like a, if I'm like watching a fucking sunset, if I'm like getting a cup of coffee, like, I just. That's because your mind's racing. You can't sit with yourself. I'm just so violent. You know, it's like, and this is why I train so much. Like, I'm so fucking violent.

Like, what's going through your head? You know what I mean? When's the last time you sat with yourself and just sat still? You probably can never do that. I'll just fucking zone on my phone. I'll use my fucking doping addiction. But no, I like,

I know it is. I'm just so fucking violent. Like, I can't, like, I can't tell you. Like, I don't know what it is,

like, with other people, but I cannot be in a fucking place and just not want to, like, violate the rights of others. Like, I just,

I'm fucking violent, dude, I just can't, like, it's all I want to do. It's like, if I'm inside, I just,

I want to feel like, like, I'm sure, you know, like, when you hit someone not a glove on, dude, it's like a different kind of thud. Like, it just, like, you could feel it on your knuckles. Like, it's all, like, I'm just violent.

I can't stop thinking about it. But not violent. You think about, like, why that, why you're like that? Just conditioning, you know, it's like, um, just conditioning, like, a... Dude, it's because that's where you feel at home. The whole life's been like that. And I find it boring. And so, like, human beings will always revert.

Like, why do you think women that are in abuse? abusive relationships and get the shit knocked out of them and raped and do-da-da. Like, they go from one abusive relationship to the next abusive relationship to the next. And they never fucking get out of it. Because they never work to give anything else's chance. No, dude. I got a wife. And so they all.

I go to nice dinners and shit. So they all revert. They revert back to what they know because what they know is home and they know how to handle it. And that's what, in my opinion. No, you're honest. Yeah, that's what you're doing. You're reverting to what became function.

Like, I'll just go sit there and, like, I'll just go sit there and, like, smile and ask my wife how I should do it. Hey, wife, tell me about, fuck, tell me about, tell me about your day, tell about your dream. Tell me about the fucking house you clean, you know? Like, I sit there and I smile and I listen to it. But like, yeah, dude, you know it is. Like, you fucking know how it goes. But, uh, yeah. So long story short, I, uh, get arrested.

I hit these guys. I went to, and then I got, I went to, uh, I went to, uh, I was going through court. I was fine two felony GBIs, which way over time. Maybe they didn't overcharge me. So I had to get a bell bondsman. So I took a short notice fight in South Africa and in South Africa and Keeney Cage to pay my bell bondsman. I got done fighting.

The court case got done two years later. I'm like 22 years old. My life fucking continues to suck. I'm so fucking broke. I'm still riding a bike to the gym. I walk into, I walk into recruiters again and they say, hey, I don't know how I...

Is this thing still available? They said, yeah. And I said, but I've been arrested. Now I'm, I've been arrested. And they're like, what did you get a charge for? And I was like, well, I got charged with two assault and battery with a deadly weapon. And the guys just fucking laughed at me.

Just to get the fuck out of here. Like, they don't... The military is real complicated with, like, assault charges. It's a... It's kind of a big no-no, apparently. So they just laugh. Which is weird because, like, you know,

you want people like... But then I really... realize you don't want people like me because like people like me are liabilities you know like they want like you're the best candidate great household you could be molded you you have like a you know you could be molded like you have a inclination for violence like you're the best candidate for the military not me dude I'm like the guy that goes like fucking I'm like the guy to do with some horrible act and like oh yeah this is a fucking guy he did this horrible act now he was in fucking jail because of fucking retard but uh so yeah after that then I was like well I guess I'm a fighter now

And then I got signed to UFC and then the rest of the history. You just kept fighting and that rest of the history. Dude, how long was your dad in the picture? So my dad was in the picture for me and my mom had like a pretty close relationship. Now not so much. I still love my mom. But I kind of look back like now when I talk to her, just kind of puts her a bad fucking, we're just to love my mom.

But I don't blame her, you know. It's like we're all just products of our, you know, the sins of our father, as you would say. He was in the picture for, he was in the picture he was about 17 my mom I woke up obviously

was a full-time fire at the time my mom trying to go for work my dad had her and locked up in the bedroom

and you know saying hey you fucking you're banging your boss you can't leave so I'm like 17 years old I go walk in and I just beat the fuck out of him my mom leaves

is that the first time he did that yeah first time did that it was like it was the most depressing thing ever you know it's like man

he really he's like man he's like laying on the floor bloody with a broken nose like bro you really like you were my boogie man all night all my entire life dude you were the one that like fucking ruin my life and you're just a pathetic fucking piece of shit but um he he kind of changed so for the younger for the younger guys there was like an opioid epidemic it's way less now but like they were just giving it out like during the afghanistan time right they were just giving out they were just giving everybody out fucking opioids so uh that was like the biggest change of my dad with the opioids like i remember i walked home and he's just like fucking snort and viking in on the kitchen counter i was like

eighth grade so once that once about seventh grade he's seventh eighth grade when he started it's kind of ironic because the opioid epidemic happened right by afghanistan i'm not being conspiracy but it's kind of like the timeline of it's very fucking strange right so he uh once you get once the opioids and the soul his soul just vanished just a weak fucking man like opioids are like opioids are like i mean if there was a satan it's opioids like it takes fucking everything from your identity which for his case is probably better so yeah then my mom moved out i lived in my mom's apartment i'd go sleep in my brother's house go sleep on couch i just couldn't do the fucking poor man racket until you know i made more money but um

My dad died of cancer. And I remember, like, he was doing a hospice at my brother's house. And, uh, I remember, I was, I was, like, I don't know, probably, like, early 20s. And, uh, I didn't even know why or what I wanted to do with. I wasn't going to post it. I wasn't going to post it. But my brother's, like, crying in the corner. My dad's laying there fucking dead of cancer.

He had so much cancer that, uh, the doctor was like, how did you not know that you had so much cancer. Like, how did you not know something was wrong with you? And it was so fucked up on opioids, you didn't know.

So, uh, it's always a funny story, dude, my dad one day. Somebody, people always like, oh,

Sean got sexually assault and I, and I never fight it because, like, so many people have had to happen to you. And it's like,

no, fuck you, dude. Even if that happened, it doesn't fucking matter. Like, you're a piece of shit. No,

bring it up. But, uh, one day my dad comes up to me, as he's dying of cancer, like, it's come to Jesus a moment. And he goes,

Sean, you know, I was really bad to you and your mom and your brother, but I didn't molest you. Like,

well, fuck, dude. I guess it could have been worse, man. Things are not fucking me, dude. It could have been way worse.

So my dad's fucking dead now, laying a cancer in the hospice. And he's like, frail, you know? And I like, snack a picture.

I was like, I don't know why. Just like, it was a moment of, like, this dead body of this piece of shit. Like there was a part of me that wanted to just like, there was a part of me that just wanted to like

have him in that moment forever. And I was just like, my brother got so. He's like, my brother's crying in the corner. He's like, man, I'm like, that's a piece shit, fucking what are you doing? He's like, why did you take anything? I got me, we got him out. I'll say, fine, I'll fucking delete it.

But there was a part of me that was just like, looking at this dead fucking body. I was like, I just want to savor this moment. you know i just want to like have this in my phone and just like so i can like look back on it not as like now i'd look back very differently but so yeah that's that's pretty much it how do you look back at it now is it different no sins of the father you know it's um it's alcohol man i tell anybody like it's it's it's it's it's wild that alcohol's legal in america like i'm a libertarian i think she'll buy meth if you want to buy meth but man it is so fucking

wild i don't i never drank one of the things that see save me from not drinking and doing drugs was my grandfather was so racist and like even the American history X, you know, they would like, there's a scene where they get mad of them for doing drugs. So I always thought that like drinking and drugs, well, one, it reminded me my dad, which I hated. And then it was reinforced by like I thought the drugs were for black people. So I never did it.

Wow. Yeah. So that was like my racism. I always say like, I always say that if there was a devil, if there was a devil man, he's fucking, he's always helped me. life, you know, like it was never God. Like, the devil on my shoulder always like, all the worst and wrong thing I could do, but like,

if there was a, if there was a devil, like when I was a kid, it was the only thing that kept me going, you know? Damn, dude. That's some dark shit. Well, I mean, I'm not religious, but it's like, it's true. Like, that little devil inside you that, like, that hardens you and makes you prepared for life and, like, makes you, like, a psychopath.

Like, he was always there with me. but uh did you ever think about what happens when you die no man I don't know I like my thing with the Bible dude it's just like it's just so hard for me to think that like this small little region figured it out

and like you know then you have the like the the Jews had the original and then the Christians came and they're like no this is it and then the Muslims came like this is it it's like and they have the whole rest of the world I don't I do believe in like creative design. Like, you can't look at existence and be like, like, I can't look at this and be like,

and maybe this is my brain can't fathom that. I can't look at this and be like, this is all just random. So I do believe in creative design, like intelligent design, but after that, dude, I don't know. You don't think about what happens after you die. You've never thought about it. I mean, I try not to, you know, like. What happens when you do? I mean, it could just be a black screen. That would be the worst. Well, actually, that wouldn't be the worst. But. But you say that, but it's like you say that, but like... You wouldn't know. But it also, like, a moment of peace.

Like, you're just at peace. Like, you don't exist anymore. You know, it's like... No pain. Like, you're good, you're just... So are you atheists? No, I'm just, like, agnostic. I don't know.

But, like, there is something, like, poetic about, like, not existing anymore. You know, it's like... Like, everyone's, like, reincarnation. Like, I would fucking hate that. What if I get recarinated in my own life again? I don't want to come. through that shit again, dude, fuck that. Look, I don't want...

Don't fucking reincarnate me, dude. Don't mean whatever fucking hole. You pulled me out of. But, uh, yeah, I don't know, man. I just... Yeah, I don't know. I just... What do you...

I mean, like, when you... How do you wrap your head around all the theologies and, like, the Eastern European, like, or like the, the East religions, and, like, there's so many fucking different. And, like... I don't. I don't.

I just go off my own experiences. Man. If that makes sense. you know, and I'm no theologian. I'm not going to pump you full of scripture or anything like that. But I've just had too many things happen, man, that, like, that, I have the same questions, not to the degree that you do. Like, if there is a God, why am I going through this right now?

But, I mean, I have this. I've seen shit, you know what I mean? Not in childhood, but in war and, like, done things and experienced things. And, I mean, that should be 10 times over. by now. Like, I tried to kill myself in my garage. And, uh, like, I just reclined the seat back and left the car running and woke up in my room. Yeah. The whole gas, the whole house smelled like exhaust. That was gasoline. I'm like, what the, how old are you? Who's after the agency? So probably low to mid-30s. Yeah, you're just like, I'm fucking, I'm empty. I just...

Well, just like you're talking about, dude. Like, I just, I had... I had nothing. Yeah. Like you started thinking like, but you started thinking like, nothing is better than what I have now. You know, it's like, I just like, if I don't like, yeah, I might be dead, but like. I shouldn't be here. You know what I mean? Like I shouldn't be here.

I went down there and my, it was, it got so hot because I closed a grow, you know, I'd done the thing, dude. In my, my, it had melted a hole into the gas tank. How long were you thinking about before you did it? don't know. No, I'm saying like, so like... How long was I thinking about committing suicide? I mean, I always thought about it, but I never really like went very far. I wasn't like, this is how I'm going to do it. I was hit faced at the blue martini in Boca Raton, Florida, blacked out drunk, don't know how I got home, don't remember doing it, don't remember anything.

And, I mean, thank God it didn't happen. Yeah. But, like, I... It's always been in the back of your mind for a while. And then you were just, you fucked up enough to do the deed. Yeah, I did the thing. Yeah. And I'm still here. You know, and I've had like a lot of stuff happened, dude. I mean, yeah, you get fucking shot on the bomb's bomb.

Yeah, of course, bro. Not that. Not that. That's not like this. That's not like this to me. That was combat. This was something woke my ass up that I don't remember, took me out of that fucking garage, brought me upstairs.

And even when, I went inside, dude. I went inside and I, like when I, I woke up, the whole house smelled like gas and like exhaust, came down, saw the pistol on my couch, the pistol that I don't carry. So I got in the say, it was a big gallon, it was like a 45. And I was like, I never, I don't, I'm broke. I don't, I don't, I don't shoot my 45, you know what I mean, 45 ammo is expensive. And I'm like, oh, so all my clothes are off. So I went. and got a gun to blow my brains out something that told me not to do that then i'm like what is this fucking smell man is the neighbor's gas on or so like what is happening and i went and i touched the garage door like the door that goes out to the garage the door was hot and i was like oh i think i hear my car running and so i'm like maybe something's on fire so maybe if i open the door like it'll you know the oxygen'll hit it'll blow me to smitheree so then i tried to kill myself the next morning i didn't try to kill myself but I was like well if it happens great open the door nothing happens I see my car

run and I look the seat is totally reclined back and the gas is dripping onto the muffler the muffler's on fire and I'm like holy shit so I mean I'm still drunk and drugged out on on painkillers and ox like all of it you know and I'm like so I'm not thinking straight now I know like the dush on this wouldn't trigger anything I'm like if I hit the garage door is it going to spark like this whole place and uh so i hit it the garage door goes up and i like pulled my car out immediately and i'm like holy shit dude i fucking tried to kill myself like three times in a row here and uh and there's been like a lot of like weird uh just weird coincidences that have happened to me that that one of them is i mean what i i thank god like entered my life and

was like hey fuck it but it's kind of crazy right like i'm gonna as an agnostic man like i mean you you're probably one of the most influential people right now and like uh in like the in the space you know well dude i mean do you ever think about why you're here what are you passionate about do you help anybody well it's funny as the next to lead to that but back to like this suicide thing um there's a point in my life where i think about 24-7 could stop thinking about it could not stop thinking about it like um driving on the highway thinking about it just like

you start like really like making peace with the idea that like whatever happens is better than now yeah you know like whatever happens is better than now that was even when I was in the UFC just like I used to fucking dude I just have to hurt myself

to go to bed tonight like um like I couldn't sleep like I just laying in bed kind of sleep so I'd go and buy like a like a candle I'd leave by my bed and I'd just like hover my hand over the candle just to burn myself back in a sleep like the only thing that could help me sleep

was if I was like if I hurt myself where I'd like I'd try a shock machine but it wasn't really enough it just lock you up but like uh yeah I could just like yeah no I mean but the key is sobriety right

so like what people don't realize that it doesn't matter how fucked up you are sobriety is like what keeps you from going over the edge because like think about you said I was fucking party and I got home. So,

Bridey is like, when you're fucked up and you start lowering that inhibition wall, if I drank, dude, oh, I would, I'd be the fucking deader in prison. Because, like, once that,

once that inhibition, that's what drinking does, it lowers your inhibition. And so now you're just like, oh, I'm down to do anything. I mean, I can't even, I can't even own a revolver.

Like, just like, I have one little 22 revolver that I don't fuck with because I can't say, every time I pick it up, I can't stop thinking about kill myself. So I was a

You should probably get rid of that I mean I just it's like duct tape It's all fuck it's like a little shitty one So it's funny I'm like uh When I was younger dude I had the girl saved my life Stay inside

I was fucking nut 38 I'm just fucking spinning it You're like in my brain I'm just talking to her You know I'm fucking girl named Jackie Save my life Jackie Thank you

Uh spinning it I put around in it I'm just like talking to her And I'm just like hyper fixating on like playing rush around I'm like spinning it, spinning it.

And, uh, and I put it in. I'm like, I still even this day, dude, it gives me fucking chill. It gives me fucking chill. So I, like, I put the round in it. I spin it. I'm just like talking to her. I was like, do you should, I should do it. And she's like, Sean, no, don't do it.

Don't do it. And I was like, no, I mean, like, what are the odds? Like, one and six. Like, one and six. Like, that's good odds. I take those odds. Right? So I fucking, I put the gun in my head.

and I'm like staying there as I don't have a rat I don't have a cocked yet it was a double action but I know it was a double single action revolver and then like I'm working myself up to it I'm working myself up to it I'll fucking do it

I'll fucking do it like you fucking pussy like even though I'm having a conversation with her like in my heart like I have like I have every bit of like adrenaline and dopamine just being fucking saturated in my brain right now and I fucking love it right

because it's like you know you're gonna need to say you're addicted adrenaline like You just have these, like, chemicals just saturating your fucking brain. And I fucking, like, cocked back, dude. And she starts fucking crying and grabs a gun out of my hand. It says, Sean, no, fucking ever do. If you did, I'll leave you.

And, uh, and I'm like, let's just see what would happen. Open it up. I was about to shoot myself in the fucking head. Shit, dude. Yeah, literally save my life, dude. Save my fucking life. But, like, I don't know why when I'm around revolvers, I can't stop thinking about it. I dwell on it.

Like, I'm around revolvers. It's like a game I never finished. So if I have a, if I have a revolver, I just like, it's a game I never finished. Like, there's a part of me that just wants, I want one pull. I just want one fucking pull, you know? Just one, just one pull. I just want to see what it feels like. But, uh, that's right in the line.

I mean, you know, I had a death wish for a long time. Like, we just talked about Columbia. I totally, I want to. You get it, bro, but being like. I wanted to die down there. Yeah, you get it. want to die. I always thought it would be great. Yeah, if I die in combat, it's adrenaline. It's amazing. It's great. Yeah, adrenaline. Like, I think what it is when you go through so much

trauma and like regardless of the fact of how well adjusted you are, when you're living at such a high baseline, everything else is just like, it's not enough. Like, when you're just going through life, like, I'm a fucking dead body, right? I'm like, I'm a human meat bag just existing in fucking this earth right now. Like, I would do anything to like feel that pull the trigger. Like, it makes you want to cry because I love it. Like I would do any, I just want to feel that like, I want to feel that again, you know, but

but again, the same thing with you. It's like, you're at such a high baseline that like you at level, it's just, it's so fucking, you're just existing. But going back to like purpose, when I'm done fighting, that's what I want to do. Like, when you help people,

it's a different kind of feeling. Like when you actually, not like, not like these stupid. fucking influencers like here's a bag of money homeless man like that that's not helping people like you're just you're doing this for like when you are do a good deed and nobody knows about it dude it like like that little soul we're talking about earlier that you that you chipped away at that you that you that you fucking snuffed out every time you do like this random good deed that nobody knows about like you just feel like it's like it's like the engines being fucking trying to

turn over again so when i'm done that's kind of what i'm done that's kind of what I want to do, just like get in that kind of space, whether any kind of like self-help pace, just like kids, anything, I mean, disaster relief, anything. So I want to make enough money to where like, I don't need money and then live modestly and then just kind of focus on something like that. Just because it's the only thing that, like, makes me feel like I fucking, you know, it's the only thing that makes me feel like I'm not going to want to eat a bolt when I'm done. Well, it's funny you mention that because, I mean, we're talking about God and, you know what I mean,

agnostic and all these things. And I mean, and why would God allow, you know, you to go through that as a kid? Well, dude, look at what you're talking about, man. And look how influential you are now. Like, you have like every fucking kid in the country, anybody who watches MMA affiliated with MMA, dude, they all look up to you, man. All these kids look up to you. And we just went over.

The sad thing is. Hear me out, though. And we just went over how many kids who experience this shit. and they have nobody to look up to, and you're the fucking guy, man. I think it's one in four. You're the guy who made it out of that. Look at what you made out of yourself.

Yeah. And so whenever you do decide to get involved, hopefully, you know, I mean, with whatever you want to do, but let's say you go down that avenue and you start, dude, you're a huge influence to kids that are going through that

and they fucking see you, dude. And then they know there's a way out. Whereas you didn't know there was a way out, man. Well, now, These kids can look at you and they can say, holy shit, like, that dude went through that. Maybe it was worse than what I went through. And if he went through that, then I can fucking get out of this. And that's how God works, dude.

That's how he works. But, you know, man, like, I don't know about God or that. I just know that, like, when you help somebody. Feels good, doesn't it? It's a different kind of piece that you don't get from sex, from violence. like, it's like, it's a feeling that you get that it feels real. Like, every time you have, like, sex or violence, it's a drug. It's a fucking drug.

But when you do something good, it's like a different kind of feeling, man. It's like it's fucking real. I don't know what it is, but it's like real. It's God, bro. I don't know about that. But either way, man. So you're not open to it. You got to be open to it to it to feel it, to let it end.

Yeah, but I mean, my thing is, though, like, the whole like Christian God, you know, like I'm not saying it's not a God and there isn't a God but like it's so hard for me to buy into like the Bible dude like and then like the old fucking testament, the fucking Quran like fucking

the fucking Judaism like you know like oh yeah cut the foreskin off don't eat fucking pork dude send the fucking she bears have you delved into it or are you just reading shit online I am really dove in I will say dude if I had to pick religion I am like and I say this I'm not like

all talk about God and Christ. I think that America is like a religion of Christ. Not only is a religion of Christ, like Christianity built America, like different sects of Christianity, but like the New Testament Christ, like everything, like one of the greatest figures of America.

Like it is a beacon of around America. And I think that one of the biggest issues we have is we're going away from that. Me, someone who grew up an atheist, you know, atheist, like one of the biggest issues like we're losing our heritage.

Like Christianity. Christmas, the New Testament, like, that's the heritage of America. And it's just like, but I also, like, I think that they're actively trying to, like, erode America from within, like, the illegal immigration. Like, it's kind of funny. So I wore ice hat. I'm like super pro ice. The only one thing Trump fucking did, right? And I was talking to somebody at the, like, the PI.

And, you know, she's super liberal. We're very sweet, sweet woman. and I was like, well, let me tell you about illegal immigration. Like there's two coins of that. Me, as a white man who invests money, I love it. Like, I love, like, as a Republican white man who invest and, like, plan to make a living off investments, I love illegal immigration.

Why do I love illegal immigration? Like, I asked you, you're right. I should probably vote fucking Democrat. I'll make more money. They come here. They must work. They lower wages for, like, Every blue collar. They come here. They lower wages. They must be housed. I need a tax write-offs. I have to go buy some, this year. I got to buy a couple duplexes. So guess what? I need people to rent them. They're going to cost. They're going to make the cost of housing go up. More people need housings now. So I'm going to make more money. Guess what? These people come here. They got to buy shit. They got to buy apples. They got to buy cell phones. They need fucking fuel. They need to buy some of America's biggest companies. Well, guess what? I've owned some of America's biggest companies.

I make a fuck ton of money with illegal immigration. But what doesn't help is your kids. Your kids now, they're competing with people that would do more for less. They're competing with people that want to live next to you. They're saturating the workforce. They, like, illegal immigration is making your life significantly harder. And you've been, like, sold this bill of like, no, but like Republicans. And mind you, George Bush was like, like, Republicans are the biggest fucking advocates of illegal immigration.

Like they, you make, you make more money. You make more money. It's like, this is why there's such as massive wealth transfer, because you just make more money with illegals. So anyways, you go and you explain this. Like, you're, you, you are making your life for your children significantly harder by voting for open borders. But like the liberal, they just can't grasp it.

They just can't, like, they're so programmed to think that, like, Trump is bad, like, enforcement of borders. are bad. Like, you just can't separate them. But I think it's also been, like, an active, like, campaign to do it, you know? Well, it started off with embracing Christianity. And now we're talking about illegal immigration, but, um, I mean, I don't disagree with you. I think they're trying to erase it because it's a value system that they want destroyed. I think that's what all the alien shit is. But also, too, like, I mean, I hope your audience is aware, like, illegal immigration is only good for rich people. If you are blue collar, if you are, like,

the average working man, a legal immigration is a way to devalue your life. And if you're rich, you only make money off of it. It's a way to transfer wealth from bottom to top. I see what you're saying. I mean, I've never really thought of it that way. But even legal immigration, you know what I mean? The H-1B visas and all that kind of stuff, which I'm not, I'm not against. Yeah, but back to Christianity. Yeah, I don't know, man. Because I think that, you know, I think that we should steal the best in class. from everyone and bring them here. But when you get,

you know what I mean, with H1BZ, when you bring really smart tech people from India in, I mean, that destroys the chances of people here. Yeah, I mean, within reason. It doesn't destroy. Within reason.

It should be balanced. Within reason. You should take the best in the world. But yeah, no, but yeah, back to Christianity, like, in vats and training. Sorry, guys, get a little fucking ADHD, the CT.

I got to go do the, what's the drug, the Abigain. I got to start doing Abigain. Right. No, but this is why, like, training with bats. I tell them, you guys got to train. Like, I obviously have a lot of friends that are bats. Like, she's got to train, man.

Life's so much better in the gym. You're around. What do you think? Who do you think you would help? Like, when you're all wrapped up with this. I can do it. I could learn to do anything. I don't care.

I could fucking, I could go help people rebuild a house. I could go help kids and I could do anything. I just want to be in a position to where, like, I could give back, right? So it's like I just don't find like Say I were to go start a brand or company or something I just started

I don't find enjoyment in there Like I don't want to go sell fucking An energy drink I don't want to go like sell nicotine I mean I might do that But it's like I just do it for fun of it But I just like there's no fulfillment in that What I want to do is like

Rather be like disaster relief Helping kids in need Like inner cities Like I just I feel like it's my duty To give back And also, too, like, I mean, I have so much, like, love from fans. Like, you know, I have, like, a different relationship with fans than most people do.

Like, like, even, like, NFL players, like, or other UFC fighters, like, me and my fans, like, we have, like, a very, like, close relationship. Like, so I feel like the least I can do, just get back. You guys make me a paycheck. You want you buy, you buy fights. Like, you work your fucking ass off to support me. If I sell product, you fucking buy my product. Like, the least I could fucking do. is like, hey, I'm rich now.

At least I could give back a little bit. So that's kind of what I want to do. I don't know what it is. The funny thing is you want to give back because you like the feeling it gives you. It's not because of the fans, bro. It's because of the fucking peace that it brings you. Yeah.

But I just feel like it's right. It's like legacy feeling that comes with that. It's like it's just like it feels like it's something, but it's like this is the issue with the world though, man. Like nobody like gives a fuck anymore. Like everybody is so fucking selfish and self-centered that it's like, and mind you, it's hard life and kids, but like

nobody gives a fuck anymore. It's just everybody is just like a dog-eat-dog world, like church is becoming less. No one gives a fuck anymore. Like even when like Charlie Kirk died, dude, and this is how fucked up. I got like, a lot of people related me about a lot. Now, I remember watching him fucking

get smoked and I was like, damn, that was fucking crazy. Like my initial reaction was like, damn, like, oh shit, like it was exciting. And then I think I said it, like man, I'm so morally bankrupt that I watched this guy die and I thought it was like the coolest fuck made my fucking day highlight of my day you're like oh shit you know and a lot of people had that same

and I agree I think Charlie Kirk is a fucking hero I it saddens me as like I look back and saddened me but I think I made I think I made a joke right after you died I think I said like well well I always say the best way to vote was with a rifle you know but I like but then I laugh and I look back at like dude you were so morally bankrupt that like you just watch a guy get fucking smoked on stage and your first instinct was like oh that was fucking cool i want to watch it and and we all look at like oh it's like the george carlin car like bad news we all fucking love that shit we love bad news there are some people that watch it and like horrified and like oh that's the fucking terrible thing but like i bet a massive percentage of this world or americans watch that and

their instinct, they got a little adrenaline like, oh shit. Oh, shit. Oh, that's so sad. And yeah, dude, America. It's just like, you're so, we're so, like, morally fucking bankrupt now. And I think a lot of it happened. How old are you? 43. So I think a lot of it was like the wars in the Middle East. And you see a lot of it with, like, and I will, like, I don't want to be the guy like video games caused it. But when video games, intertwined with the military, it created a very different breed of people, right? So, like, you're older than me,

so you didn't really, you've probably seen it, but you didn't experience it. Like, video games intertwined with the military, and you had, like, I mean, like, call of duty where, like, all day long, you're fucking a little kid, and you're just fucking shooting people. Grand Theft Auto.

And everyone's like, oh, like, you can't blame video games. Like, how do you think it is? when little kids now are spending fucking five hours of their day shooting people in the fucking head playing Granthatho being up hookers like there's been like a sciop to slowly fuck people up and desensitized people

like Americans are so fucking corrupt and morally bankrupt now it's like I don't even know how you fix it it's everything man it's but that's this you know that's how evil works it's Hollywood it's the LGBTQ agenda and kids.

It, you know, and how Hollywood portrayed that and how you can't have a legitimate acting career in Hollywood unless you're willing to do a homosexual scene or a lesbian scene or promote those type of initiatives. It's social media. It's watching people, you know, that, you know, that you know personally would never, would never go for this shit. And then the next week, they're promoting it. And then the next week, they're the host of it.

of a big show. I had, it's like, oh, I wonder how that happened. But I mean, it's, it's,

the thing is, it's the porn industry. I had only fans. I had only fans, hit me up the sponsor me, I told him to go fuck themselves. It's all this stuff. I considered it,

but I was like, I don't give a fuck how much money, no amount of money in the world you can offer me, that I would fucking do that. You could offer me fucking $10, $50 million,

I'd say. Only fans offered you a sponsorship. Yeah. And I said, there's no amount of money in the world you could offer me where I'd say yes. And I guess, That's what I fucking love about you, man.

You're like, you just, you know, you stay true to what you believe. I got a weird one. I got a gambling company that wants to sponsor me. And like a lot of money, too, where I'm, like, I'm conflicted. But then I'm always like, but then a part of me where I'm like, dude, they fucking, like, sports gambling is the UFC. We fucking people gamble. But part of me feels like it's wrong. But I'm like, it's part of the UFC.

Yeah, fuck, I might do it. But, I mean, when you watch Charlie Kirk get smoked, what would you remember your, like, gut reaction? My gut reaction was... Have you met him? No, I never met him. My gut reaction was, he's not going to survive that. Yeah. But like, I'm saying when you watch it, were you like, oh, shit, or were you just like,

what was your emotional state, your baseline? Was it like a... Pissed. I was pissed. My initial thought was, there's no way he's going to survive that. Seeing people get shot in the neck. Yeah. Obviously, you know, hit the jugular.

And then my other reaction... reaction was who did it who's I immediately started thinking like who did this yeah it was responsible like the amount of like the amount of influence he had over people was fucking wild I remember like weeks after I mean people were finding God like it was a it was a different I was watching from like a very like neutral perspective like I was watching it from like very neutral standpoint like a part of me was like this is fucking crazy like I kind of question the sandy of Americans. And I say that,

and I say that, like, again, I love Charlie. Everything Charlie says, even towards the end with Israel, like, the only thing that he fucked me off on was, like, in the beginning when he was a super Zionist, but as he started moving away

from being a Zionist, like, man, me and you, everything you say I agree with now. But, like, watching people's reactions to me was kind of fucking nuts. Like, me, motherfuckers were finding God. Like, people,

People started changing their whole identity around Charlie. Like his rules were everywhere. I'm like, yeah, I just like, I don't know. I just kind of round my head around. I was like, it's just so strange to me that, like, people are that influential, like that people could be influenced so much. I think what's going on, man, because there's a huge revival happening in Christianity right now. Massive, massive.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Again, I advocate for Christian. I tell people when I fight, I talk about Christianity. If you could wake up tomorrow and become a Christian, I like, I wish you the best and like, we need more of that. Well, what's happening is there's just nothing that makes sense in the world anymore. Like, how do you make sense of anything that's going on with this administration?

How do you make sense of anything that's going on with the last administration? I got the White House, dude. I know. I mean, it's like, what? And honestly, we'll go into that. But I don't, that's what the only thing that makes sense is what's in the book. I don't blame them. for banning me because some asshole would have put a fucking camera in front of my face

and me i would have been like that little voice popping my head guys i'm just here i'm not fucking kids like i'm just fucking here watching fights so i don't i think it's absolutely absurd that you got banned from trump's 80th birthday party i mean america's 250 yeah it was celebrated on trump's 80th birthday party 20 days before the america's 250 yeah so uh what a fucking bunch of bullshit. After the fight, it's actually on video as like Hunter, dude, like, I want to, I want to go. I want to go to the fight. I say, yeah, we'll get it done. I'm like, sweet, man, let's go. Because, like, to me, I could

like separate politics and people. Like, like, I, I met Trump. He's a nice fucking guy. He's sincere with his actions. He, like, he asked you a question and, you know, maybe just years of, like, being Trump. But, if you meet him, you will like him. He

is a nice fucking guy. He will ask you a question sincerely. Again, you've met Trump, dude. I mean, it was that your, did you get that take? That was very charismatic guy. Yeah. Yeah, I did like him. I don't anymore.

But like, even like, but even me, like, I just understand. Like, I don't, I don't really hate people. Like, I don't hate people in a sense. Like, um, so like after, uh, after Charlie died, like you said, I want to find that guy whoever did that and like, you had this thing of like hate, like, and it's so natural, right? you're seeing this beloved guy, a family guy die. But, like, maybe it's because I'm so, like, disconnected to things. Like, I just don't, like, I just don't have it in me.

Like, I mean, I get to go do a horrible act and not hate, but it's like, so what I mean by that about, like, hating people, I just, my buddy, so I was on mine, I was, maybe it's because I'm so disconnected. I just don't, dude, I just don't. Like, there's nobody I met as of now that I hate or I dislike. Like you take some weird fucking tranny that like cuts his dick off and like I think you're fucking mentally ill. I think you're fucked up. I think that you are an enemy of America.

I think that you are a bad guy for America. But I don't fucking I don't hate you. Dude, a lot of them grew up like you. I brought one on here. Like I just, I wanted to understand. I brought Chris Beck. Did he retransitioned back? Yeah.

And so I brought him on because, I mean, obviously he's been ostracized. from the SEAL teams, but I was like, I've always been kind of infatuated, like, how can simply do this to themselves? Like, how does it work? Like, what, what's in the, what's going on mentally? What's the psychology behind this shit? And he grew up like you did. And he was the whipping boy of the family.

He got sexually molested. He got the shit beat out of him every single fucking day, became a seal, left the SEAL team, riding with the Hells Angels, trying to get like totally fucking baked on Coke and every other drug you can think of. And he, so he wanted to get better. He started going to therapy.

Does he believe in Christ now? Is he Christian now? He is. Yeah. And when they brought, when he brought it up, when he brought it up in therapy, once,

I told you, always goes back to childhood, right? And he had mentioned in the therapy section, in the therapy session that when he was a kid, He would go up to the attic and put on his sister's dress and skips, and he was like really secretive about it. He didn't want anybody to see him. He'd put on the dress and look at himself in the mirror. And the psychologist or psychiatrist, whichever it was, convinced him that he wanted to be a woman.

No shit. And had him write the book, The Warrior Princess. And while he was baked out on Coke and all the other drugs, had him sign the right. to the book over to her and he didn't want to go through with the book and she was like tough shit buddy you signed the rights over i own it and released it and when he came on the show he's like dude i never wanted to be a woman he's like i never wanted to change he goes when i was a kid he goes this all got sunk in my head and then i got accepted the the the the LGBTQ community like love bombed me and I've never felt like that amount of love ever in my life.

I understand that. And he goes, all I want all, he goes, the only reason I went up to the addict to put my sister's dress on, he goes, is because I just didn't want to be me. And he goes, that's the only way I could feel that I could escape like those feelings of being molested by the neighbor and being, getting the shit kicked out to be by my fucking dad every single day of my life. And he goes, so I would sneak. up there and put that on and that's the only way that I could pretend that I wasn't me.

And when you hear that, it's like, holy shit, dude, like, and I don't fucking, I don't fucking hate these people. Like, I don't like, like, I think they're mentally ill and I think they're fucked up, but like, just said to hate somebody to me, I just don't have it. Like, I just don't have it in me. Like, if you right now, if you said, there's a pedophile, I don't hate him. I would, I would take a gun and shoot him in the fucking head, and I'd probably enjoy the act of doing it.

but it's like you're just like like I don't really have that much I don't really have that much hate in me these days it's just like it's just it's over it so like when you're talking about like um you feel feel that like people need an identity

you know like and him getting love bomb by the LGBT community like him absurding that identity you know like we had an identity it was Christianity that was our identity people would wake up and they would you know they would wake up and they would up and they'd look at the son and their identity was thank you for giving me a son you know they would uh drink water they would think that was their identity and now you just have like

these godless people they're just stumbling through the earth is your identity and it's just like it's engineered man it's engineered it's an agenda yeah but you know back to the trump i get why he didn't i wouldn't i would have banned me too i i would have banned me too i just don't have it in me to like just shut the fuck up like they would have put a camera my face. I would have made a joke. Fuck, I would probably made a joke to Trump, dude. You know? But I will say, dude, like, it is kind of crazy, dude, how mainstream how unpopular Trump is. Because I'll go to places, like, I'm in Florida. I met a Texas guy. Like, when we're talking about, like, hardcore Republicans. And even these guys are like, I just, I can't do anymore. Trump.

I just, like, I feel fucking betrayed. And, like, Trump, to me, everyone's, like, I was talking to like really wealthy guy about like Iran and he was like yeah fuck it whatever I don't care I'm like dude you don't care because like you you're fucking a million you're a multi-millionaire but I was like dude you got to think about like every other American and more Florida Texas that they're making like what is the average like I think it's like 50 60 thousand dollars so you take somebody making 60 thousand dollars and now you add 4% inflation a metric fucking ton of gas. You're adding thousands of dollars a year to their

to their life. Like you are like crushing families. Like not me me and you. We don't give a fuck. Yeah. Gas could be a hundred dollars we don't give a fuck. But it's like the people that have voted you that rallied around you like you actively just fucking spit in their

fucking face for what? And like when you, I mean, I'm sure you've been if you've been to a Trump rally? No. Oh, dude is fucking nuts. No. So like when you're at a Trump rally, you're like, oh, I could definitely see how Hitler happened. Like, I'm not even, I'm not fucking joking. Do you do? When you go to a Trump rally, it makes you question the stand of everybody. Like, Trump's up there talking about like, we're going to throw people in jail for burning

the flag. And I'm like, dude, I don't like, I mean, again, you shouldn't do it, but it's like, you know, there is a fucking constitution. I'm looking at Vivek. And Vivek is just like fucking, like, rubbing his head. And he gets out and leaves a Trump rally. And I'm like, ah, fuck. And everybody else is just fucking full sentence. Yeah, fucking throw them in jail. Like if Trump said go grab a gun and go do anything, they would fucking do it.

They would fucking do it. I know. It's a cult. It's, uh, and that's another good. That's one of the things about Christianity. You're not supposed to put, you know, you don't, you don't put your faith in man. That's also what I, that's also. That's also about you, what I have respected you for so much is you were one of the OG thinkers where you're just like, especially in your fucking

space. You were one of the OGs. They're like, wait a minute. Like, just stop. What do you fucking doing? Like, what the fuck's going on? And not many people did that. Not many people did that. You were one of the, you were one of the biggest voices and opponents to war. You know, it's like if somebody like, if you were the complete opposite, you would, you would, you would convince so many people. If right now you came right here and you started talking about like how good it is and we should double down and do more. Millions of people would listen to you and advocate for it. I can't do it.

I can't be chained. And that's what this administration, probably every administration has done. You know, I mean, right when he got in there, I got an invite to, I can't remember, go somewhere and I was going to get, I could fly on Air Force One with them and I could go to the White House and fly a Marine One. Ironically, I was going to have to pay for the flight on Marine One. And I was like, one, no. two, I know what the fuck you're doing.

You're trying to like capture me and put chains on me so that I can never leave you. You want to make it look like I'm a part of whatever the fuck you have going on. And I am, and I'm an independent thinker. I will never do that. I will never put, I will never willingly put myself in a position where that I can appear to be captured by, by a specific movement. I am my own person. And I'll never give up that freedom.

I always say like, I have this thought that like, if you want to see a man's character, see how he acts to a bad guy who's nice. And so what I mean by that is like when you meet bad fucking people that do bad things, they're the first one to shake your hands. and like hold the door for you and like where like character matters and like your foundation matters if you could stop and be like wait a minute like I don't give a fuck how nice you are to me

like you're not going to like you're not going to get me to you're not going to cohorse me like you're not going to fucking sociopath and make me do a bad deed and so like with Trump in a sense he's kind of like that way man I don't again I know Tucker Carlson said that like he thinks she has like demon I don't believe that like he's demonic but when you meet him he's so charismatic and he's so nice that you're like you almost could overlook if you like if you don't have a strong wheel and a strong character you could almost yeah you could just get sucked in and then like and you just become part of the machine it's it's so hard when you meet charismatic people like that that are just so fucking good at getting you to lower your guard and be accepted

and i mean again go to a trump rally But, yeah, so I don't blame, I don't blame Trump for forgetting me. But man, they were so weird. Even me, like, I get so much hate now from going back to the Navy SEAL thing. Like, you know, when I was like pro MAGA, dude, I had so much, like, so much more love from people. We're like, and I don't give a fuck. But the moment I, like, came out and said, hey, man, the list is a little fucking weird. Like, and then, like.

I feel your pain. Like, like, you know. you're like, like, I'm just asking fucking questions. You're like, well, what do you mean? I'm like, well, dude, let me, let me tell you that has history that I know it. Trump reluctantly signed the bill. Like, he reluctantly signed the freedom to release the files. Fucking guy has Pam Bondi, who he put in, have his personal lawyer handle all Todd Blanche,

have all file releases. He handles all redactions. Fucking three, get three million documents out of six million. and then and then what happens after that he goes in interviews Trump's personal fucking lawyer goes in interviews Maxwell and says uh the only thing she says is he didn't

no involvement no involvement the next day dude I have a buddy who's a prison guard he was telling me about the prison she's in it's nice I could go to that fucking prison I got TVs get puppies and shit and it's like like how do you guys not like how does that not concern like how could you not like just

hear that and be like, huh? Like, I just like, how do you not, bro? Like, how do you not? And I'm not even saying Trump did it, but I believe that Trump is protecting and hiding powerful fucking people and he's used the government to do it. And like, I don't give a fuck how you hate me. You cannot give me an explanation for this. I've been trying to simplify my routine lately, especially around training. Because when you're lifting, recovering, traveling, and trying to stay consistent, it's easy to end up with a whole countertop full of different products.

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he's trying to protect the victims. Did you ever think of that? I said, huh, I'm glad you asked that. Because funny enough, the only names in the files that were redacted were the abusers. Yeah. I mean, how hard would it be to take a fucking permanent marker and just crossed out Stacy's name, Jessica's name? But instead you read, and it's like, and that's what I'm saying. He's vocalized it, correct?

I mean, Margie, I think Margie Taylor Green even said, you know, that he had told her, I can't, I can't do this because then these are my friends. Yeah. Or something along, allegedly, something along those lines. But they were all that way. Do you, uh, I gotta ask you, bro. Do you believe in the Charlie Kirk? Do you, do you accept the narrative with the 30 out six? No.

You don't? No. But I don't, I'm not. You don't know the answer, but you say, I don't know the answer. So that's right, man. I think it's- Anything I say would be.

Yeah, I think I'm, I think I'm, I think it's strange. I think it's strange. Like, I went hog hunting, you know, last weekend and like you're watching these fucking, like, AK round, just rip through hogs. Rip through them. I mean, like, three, two, two, two, pound hogs, boom. I think it's strange.

But it's like to me, it's just so, like, I could not fathom getting, like, so much manipulation of information to get the gay tranny guy to agree, to get him to agree. Like, I can't wrap my head around that level of conspiracy. I mean, there's too many weird things that have happened. I can't name them all, but I mean, one of them, you know, is, I mean, they, they, what did they do? They concreted over the site. I mean, it's just, Candace told me that it was done.

in the middle of a pentagram. And I personally do think that this is all, I think everything now is good versus evil and there is a demonic element. Oh, 100%. But I mean, but again, 100%. If you look at some of the rituals and I mean, the stuff that was going on

in the Epstein files and it's all ritualistic. I mean, look at a, look at an Alex, human sacrifice. When Alex infiltrated Bohemian Grove, like, what are you talking about, dude? Brain effigies. Have you ever took a lie detector test? No, you haven't taken a lie?

I like this. Okay. I fucking, I hate Cash Patel so much. Like Cash Patel to me is like the weakest fucking man in the world. Fucking, like, you look at Cash Patel and you're like,

dude, you were like, you were as weak as fucking dirt. I cannot stand him. So funny, funny enough, uh, I'm curious your take on this.

And this is like, so there's this manager, Ollie, Abbez's fucking, whatever the fuck. One of the biggest managers in the UFC. Spoke at Trump rallies. like he manages everybody

let me tell you this guy's fucking backstory and by the way he's best friends with cashmattail best fucking friends with cashmattail so I started thinking about this because all these UFC fighters want to hung out with a bunch of FBI agents I'm like why they didn't call me guys

like I fucking I love law enforcement like I don't like why don't you call me and I started looking at Ollie and all these pictures one of the biggest managers in the UFC this is this is his accolades after 9-11 it's all in a book there's a

book it won like the fucking like some like fancy award in New York some liberal fucking award so it's like it's a very credible book he gets arrested after 9-11 with a bunch of passports or like IDs or fake documentation

he's locked up on felony charges of like falsifying information and this happened like weeks after 9-11 this is what I know don't fucking sue me this is what i know and this is what the book says so he's in a colorado lockup and then he gets approached by the fbi they called him uh i think he was they have it's like they even have his number like this is all factual what i'm saying they had his informant number they have him as a high paid informant like spying on like i don't know what organizations but like

some like muslim brotherhood something like and he's traveling here and here and there and uh he gets out they give him a lie detector test because they suspect him lying. His nickname was the dolphin because he would talk so much. They suspect him for lying. So they give him a lie detector test and he fails. And they let him go. If he leaves the country, they want him back in. Like, I mean, he is like, by all information known,

this motherfucker is a snitch terrorist. That, like, if you, when you look at all pieces of information and he goes and his best friends with fucking Cash Patel. And I'm sure he goes to Cash Patel. Like, hey, brother, brother, brother, let me, you want to go meet Khabib? You want to go meet Justin Gachia? I'll go meet Justin Gachie.

And it's like, you just look at these like, these things. Like, man, dude, like, the fuck, you guys. Like, what the fuck, dude? It's part for the course, man. But like, so. The country is not well. The president's kids are buying private islands, are buying private islands with bunkers.

Now, if the country, was doing well, why would the president's kids be doing that? I mean, there's just, there's so many, I get painted as a, like, I'm taking money from Qatar or something. I'm sorry, I'm not the one that took a $400 million jet from Qatar. Maybe you should fucking look, excuse me? Kind of funny, back to love, dude, Israel, like, love me at one point. So, like, Israel, I mean, like, I would get messages from Israel, like, because they fucking love me. So after October 7, because I've been like really eating the fucking Zionist propaganda most of my life and it took kind of October 7 to like and I'm no like I'm no like fan like I'm not like

I'm not like the Muslim like all the Muslim guys I know are generally really fucking cool like I train with because you know in fighting you train with a lot of them they're generally really cool they don't want to come bring fucking Sharia law they just want to train get a fucking paycheck and go back to fucking Dagestan where the fuck they're from and like they're generally cool fucking people so like my experience with Muslims isn't like like the propaganda that they're that they feed me like I'm assuming that there are a lot of radical fucking Muslims that like want to go blow up shit I'm assuming that is a case but like my experience I train with them hey brother how you doing they go back home to their family and

they and that's my experience right I'm sure you might have a different experience that's my experience now man I'm I used to hate them obviously I mean I used to hate them because of what I did but And, you know, that flag right there was given to me by a really good friend of mine who's Muslim. And he was a U.S., he's a U.S. or an American Afghan citizen. And he was Army Intelligence, and he's really tied to the resistance that's going on over there right now. Do you know about that? No. So the Taliban has basically assassinated all of our partners and, I mean, shot him in the back.

Yeah, we fucking really do. And so the resistance is kind of like, you know, the free party. You know what I mean? They want free Afghanistan. And so he goes over there and he brought that flag back. He uncovered this thing. They'll tell you about it minute. But he brought that flag back.

He recovered it from the Taliban burning it in Afghanistan. And he gave it to me on this show. And he wanted everybody in America and the world to know that the United States, is funding the Taliban in cash $40 to $87 million in cash a week. And so when you think about that and you think about the Iran War and what's the narrative on the Iran War? Oh, they've been our enemies for 47 years and they've been killing our people and they equipped the Iraqi insurgents with EFPs and all this. And they did. They are.

They are. They did do that. But don't feed me that fucking line of bullshit about we're going after our enemies when your administration is sending $40 to $87 million a fucking week to the Taliban who we were directly fighting. So don't paint me that bullshit. You know, that works on the majority of the country because they don't know what that's what's what's really going on. But don't tell me about this. They've been our enemy for 47 years and you give a shit. about our enemy when you're fucking paying

our real enemy right there. Yeah. It's everything that they are telling us is a fucking lie. Because I grew up in the 90s and after 9-11 I mean, again, you've experienced you were fucking, you know, like you've lived it. But I like, Muslim to me was like

the fucking boogey man. The Muslim is bad. The Muslim's fucking bad. Like, and we're so propagandized. So after October 7th, I was like full saying like Muslim bad, Hamas. bad dude go in there get your fucking people back like and like the israelis loved it because they're like yeah sean's saying go to fucking war go get your people back and and i i stand by that although

i think israel i think israel knew about october 7 like i mean you're talking about a i think it's up has that been proven yeah i mean you're talking about a country that has a smaller border than fucking new jersey that is like a literally a prison and you're telling me that like you gave people pagers and you put them all over the terrorist organization. You didn't see these people buying paragliders, tractors, welding shit. You fucking knew. You fucking knew. And then you look at their response. It wasn't

like a response of like we're going to go get our people back. They go like the satellite images. It's almost like they needed it to happen so that they can do everything that they're doing right now. And this is where like is I don't like 9-11. Yeah, fuck, dude. And this is where like, and this is where Israel and me like,

now people in Israel will fucking. I can hate me. Like it's funny, you're loved by them and you're hated because it's like, dude, you made me realize, like, Israel deprogrammed me because I'm watching what you guys did to Gaza. And we're not seeing, like, I don't see, when I see a dead body, I don't see a fucking jihadist with an AK, I'm seeing a little girl being pulled out of a fucking building. I see map images of this, like, piece of land that, like, is now a demolition site. like you are committing on a very small scale of genocide you were you are

or like when they lost me there was like one of our fucking Zionist leaders I think maybe it was like Tucker or something or like he's your interview and he said well what would you do with what did we do to Hitler like what would we do to the Nazis referring to like we're having a proportional

response to what they're doing I'm like well what you wouldn't do you want to go over there and fucking murder kids like we didn't go to the fucking war or two, we didn't go fucking murder kids. We liberated them and we rebuilt Germany to one of the most fucking successful countries in the region. That's what we did after war or two. We didn't go flattened everybody and fucking murder kids. Like, don't give me that crazy shit. So, like, during this course of, like, I really deprogram myself from, like, from Israel, the Israeli

propaganda. And I don't think, like, I'm not a Candace Elwyn. Like, I don't think there's, like, a secret tiny hat room where guys are sitting around a table like we're going to overthrow America we're going to do this and do that what people make a mistake on conspiracies don't like patterns don't always equal conspiracies there can be a pattern but just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's like some like you know there's just because there's a pattern doesn't mean there's some like puppeteer pulling the strings like I want to say this right and I don't want to seem like, I'm not anti-Semitic. I don't give a fuck if you're a Jew.

I don't know, like, everybody says like, oh, Jews, this, Jews, this. Most Jews I know agree with me. Like my boy Aidan Ross, he would sit here with us, Jewish guy. He's like one of the owners of kick. He would sit here and agree with everything you're saying. Like most Jewish people I know, when we have these conversations, they're like, yeah, dude, you're right. I'm not a fucking Zionist.

I'm just born a fucking Jew, you know? But, like, if you look at, and I'm kind of going to deep in a rabblehorn. I want people to like to understand this. Because you have people like Candace Owens. And I know she's your friend. But like Candace Owens doesn't do anybody of service. So like Candice Owens, she's so over the top that she's used as a weapon against like thought.

Because you have these, she says all this crazy shit like Charlie Kirk's a time travel, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And every now and then she'll sprinkle and truth to what she says. But really all she does is like be. little the movement and water the movement down of what it is. What it is, when you want to talk about like the Jewish propaganda or the Israeli propaganda, it is very fucking simple. It is very fucking simple. They only care, like, they only care about Israel. They want Israel to be this nation. There's no, there's no, like, there's no force behind them saying that we're going to destroy

America. What they advocate for, due to the holocail. Holocaust due to them not really having a country, they advocate for things that they believe are right for the world that actively destroy America. So what I mean by that is like you have George Soros. George Soros, when he's advocating for open borders, you need to understand. He's coming from a place to where like his people, they had no home. They were kicked out of this, kicked out of that for reasons why. You know, they were kicked out of here.

They were kicked out of there. So like when George Soros advocates for this, he is advocating from a place of like, I think this is good for the world. We should have open borders. You should be able to migrate, which is ironic because fucking Israel is a fucking prison. Go migrate to Israel. Let me know how that goes. But what is good for you is not good for us. But it's like they're not doing it and like a hatred.

Or you take like people often talk about like Nazi Germany. the like one of the early founders of like transgenderism is you guys could all fact check me on this but uh it was a jewish a jew guy he was a he was a homosexual doctor and i think that it's also like a i think it's also like a curse of intelligence right like like jewish people have on average i've higher accused they're just they're more intelligent so like generally sometimes like when you look when you're overly intelligent you start breaking norms right so like when you're really intelligent and you could like fathom like the intricacies of the world and like you start breaking down norms so like why is gender a male and a female like why is it not on a

spectrum like you know what I'm saying because you could start really and like say you're not religious you could start making cases for like well humanity and a thousand years, would it not be better if there was no gender? And you could start making these, like, cases and orchestrate in a world that you want to be in. And this is where you need to get into the Old Testament. But I'm not saying we're coming from a place. A lot of this stuff is in there where they talk about a genderless God. This shit is all, like, happened.

I will say it. Let me tell you one thing, dude. I do find it really odd. The correlation between, like, Bible and, like, what it is now. right so back to like the jews promoting you know promoting this ideology that like hitler hated so hitler goes and expels these people but i i don't think that like i don't think that like the george soros like the jewish elite the issue is you have such a small population with such a mass amount of wealth that has way too much power like you're such a small population you shouldn't have this

much control over like millions of people if you make up like three percent of the world why do you have so much of a voice? I mean, I'm not saying like, no persecution, but like, you, you're acting and financing things that people don't agree with. But like, going back to, you know, people like, why does the Israel lobby, George Soros, why are they, you know, one of the first movements of communists, like, five people were like, one of the main, one of the main people of like the communist movement were like, Israeli, we're Jewish, not Israeli, Jewish. So, what you have is you have people like Candice Owens going and saying there's like

this Jewish elite around a table pulling strings trying to destroy America when that's not the case you have hyper intelligent people hyper wealthy people doing what they believe is the right thing to do the thing they believe is the right thing to do

is to have open borders to have a fluid gender this is why they go to Hollywood and they push it there's no there's no evil strings this is what they believe in their heart is the right thing to do. And usually if you're hyper-intelligent, you're more liberal.

That's just how it works. I don't know, man. I'm going to disagree with you on that one. Because one, with Candice, I think Candice is on the right trap with a lot of things. There's a lot of things that I'm unsure of that she says. Okay, let me ask you.

Hold on. Hold on. And I don't, like, you are kind of, grouping all these Jewish people together. Well, I'm not, because I have a lot of Jewish friends. All Israelis together. And I don't believe that either. I believe that there is a, the, the, the people that are there under right now have an agenda.

I think it's been there for a long time. And I think there is definitely a hundred percent. Well, let me explain. Maybe not to destroy America. There's two policies. But they have completely infiltrated American top politics. through APEC through Hollywood. I mean, there are a lot of things.

But why is Hollywood? Push the Zionist agenda. But why is Hollywood? To propagandize the United States with the with the Zionist agenda. We've bought off on this for a long time. We've fought a lot of the wars for them. Those are our people. But yes and so if you think about it, it's actually a genius plan because we are the proxy.

Like, okay, let's like that. Hamas is a proxy. We are the proxy. Who's funding the majority of the war in Iran right now? Yeah, I get it. We are. Who's who, who? But what I'm saying?

And this is coming from Zionist influence. I have questions. And so there are powerful people in all, I mean, in all these, look who owns all the media companies. So I can. You know, it's all the Zionist agenda. I got questions. I got questions.

I got questions. Let's unpack. So you say all wars. And by again, let's talk and let's remember. Patterns don't always be equal conspiracy. Sometimes there's patterns that just happen to align and they're together. So go back to the Petrodollar. We had an agreement.

When was it? Fucking the 50s and our one president that we would have a security pact to help, to help, you know, stabilize the region. So what happens? And I believe that this aligns. with America. I mean, there was a speech about don't letting the military industrial complex get involved. I mean, how many politicians take money from the

military and industrial compacts? 100% of them. 100% of them. So I think that so you have the US agrees. We will stabilize the region. Use our US dollar. You buy with us. We'll make sure

everything's fucking peachy keen. And you can valify. I mean, I'm sure you know more about this world than I do. So Saddam Hussein goes and You know goes and does Saddam Hussein He goes invades Kuwait He just got after just got done a bloody war with Iran Goes and invades Kuwait

And then now the US is like They're looking at this opportunity of like Okay we got to go this is our job You use our petrodollary we need to do this Now is it also in the best interests of Israel That Saddam Hussein And the Iraq government was overthrown 100%.

100% it is in the best interest of Israel if Saddam Hussein, Iraq, who is not a friend of Iran or Israel gets overthrown. So you have Israel is 100% lobbying the U.S. government

to go fucking do this. But it is also in our interest to go and stabilize a region and become closer with these massive oil distributors and put bases there. You see them saying, now mind you, our founding fathers

very much war in foreign entanglement. But you have the military industrial complex. She's making a lot of money out of this. You have Israel who obviously doesn't like Saddam Hussein and Iraq. And you have them lobbying, making a case and presenting to our leaders. Hey, no, we did this security agreement. We have the pact, go over there and stabilize. So we go over there. We, I'm just trying to like, I'm just breaking this down so people understand. So like you could, you could put fact together.

conspiracy because sometimes conspiracy it's like it just puts you down this rabbit hole that doesn't make sense. What I'm saying is not a conspiracy. This is true. Well, no, what I'm saying is true. 15 or $16 million into a local Kentucky congressional race. But what I'm saying is true too.

The Israeli lobby, the Israeli lobby, the military industrial complex, the oil industry, all these people all lobbied us to go get involved with Iraq. And we go, we overthrow, we overthrow and we leave. But what do we do? We left bases in, we left bases in the

Gulf state, the, you know, the Ullur-rich companies, countries. And this is just like, I need to talk on facts. We could talk about 9-11 and like the Jews did 9-11, but like that doesn't, that doesn't get us anywhere. If we start just talking about conspiracy, all you do is you get down these fucking rabbit holes. So we go. We put all, it's also, it's also not a conspiracy that Beriam Adelson pumped $300 million. Well, I'm getting there. We're getting there. So now we're right after the first Iraq evasion.

We leave. We fucking leave. We leave him in power. We fucking leave. We leave bases all over the Middle East now, right? And we did it as a security agreement. Here, we want oil to flow. Here's our bases.

You buy this. You strengthen our dollar. The fucking the Jew loves it. The Israel loves it because we have bases there. were stronger. 9-11 happens. The accepted theory for 9-11 is Osama bin Laden

Laden and a lot of Saudis, by the way, not just him. I mean, it's pretty obvious that he had help from the Saudi government pissed off.

I mean, he wrote, true or not, he wrote that like we have bases there. He was pissed off that we're in these holy cities. He wanted to go,

and he's also pissed off because Israel because we give a fuck ton of money to Israel. And we were normalizing relationships with him. So he's pissed off. He has,

there's a foreign nation occupying his country. We are giving a metric fuck ton of money to Israel to go, to go, you know, illegal occupation, to go commit genocide, to go create war. So he goes,

and this is just the accepted theory. We can't talk about conspiracy. We're just talking about what we know. So he goes, you know, gets a bunch of Saudi nationals, FISA, plane in a building.

He says, hey well you guys have occupied my place you give israel this this is my way of striking you back so and this is where like america starts kind of going off the fucking deep end where like it's kind of more harder to like it's kind of harder now to like put pieces together because weird shits happen even more now so we go and we invade afghanistan we go and we invade afghanistan we we we start fighting the taliban for what for what you know israel loves it Israel loves it. We have more bases there. We have more footprint. And all of a sudden you have the Israeli lobby. And this is where like, and this is to me, if you want to identify a point in history, when Israel became the known bad guy was a second invasion of Iraq.

Because you had, this is where like the fucking mass came off. And you had BB on front of everybody say, no, there's weapons of mass destruction. They have fucking nukes, you guys. like they got they got chemical weapons they gas the curves like and off that alone we used it hey you know the Israelis are saying that that W and Ds all the intelligence community is saying you have W&Ds actually we went in anyways and so I brought in this guy Pete Blaber who was a colonel um at delta that kind of led the invasion and we just had this episode it was 12 hours long no shit yeah and so we he got so they asked delta to do you know whatever surveillance and then they found the wmd factory there's this big air thing on top of a building that is that's that's um whatever a uh a whatever an air purifier i can't i can't i'm having a brain

thing right now but whatever the big uh the air purification system have a chemical weapon, so they have that. And then on the side, they've got, here's a big missile. We see it. We could see it in the imagery. The imagery back then wasn't like it is today. And then they see, you know, the sentry guard that's outside guarding the facility. And they get this out to Delta.

And Pete says to him, hey, and if I'm messing any of this up, you can go watch the episode and correct me. but this is the basis. And they have, so they get it to Pete's team over at Delta, and Pete tells whoever sent it, the current administration, we don't want to know anything of what you guys think this is. We're going to analyze it ourselves and we'll get you. We don't want to be influenced with what you have to say.

The air purification system on the roof wound up being an air conditioning unit. the missile on the side of the building wound up being a water tank, a big water truck, because they're in the middle of the desert, and that's how they get water. They have to bring in the water and pump it in. And the century outside of the building was just a guy taking a piss. And then they sent that intelligence back, totally disregarded it, and a couple of days later, Colin Powell, is going to. going over the exact same imagery and saying that we're going to go invade Iraq.

So again, same thing with the Gulf of Tonga incident. You have an Israeli lobby. You have a military industrial complex. And you have rich businessmen that push and push this. So it's like it's not like there. There is no like group of elites pulling strings. Like this is like you have wealthy people that benefit off these things. This is why it happens.

It's like this is why it happens. There's no like there's no secret cabal pushing. You have, hey, military industrial complex, Boeing. You have Israel. Yeah, fuck, I, let's go take this guy out. This is going to be good for us. Take this out. And then it fucking happens.

And this is how it happens. And it's not that the government is compromised on so many fucking levels from like the military industrial complex to Israel to lobbyists. Like the government is so compromised that the only thing that would fix the government is if either like you elected a radical person or a revolution or a vice. violent revolution. There's nothing else that will fix it. It is, they are ticks and they're embedded in Trump and everybody else. I mean, even like, man, even I ran, dude, I like, I think to a lot of the newer generation, they don't know what it was like to grow up in the 90s. I mean,

it was just like, we were in fucking, every year of my life, we're in war. We're in some war. Every year of my life, we're in a war. And our grand and our parents, they just said, no anybody because they didn't have the information that we had. So they would, all they would see in Fox News is like, yeah Saddam Hussein he has nuke she's gonna fucking kill us or he has chemical weapons he's gonna kill us and they didn't have like they didn't have the information that we have so like it's up to like

us push back and like this is why you do such a great service because you're pushing back but I just don't think it does anybody a service when you start getting in the realm of conspiracy when you don't need conspiracy to prove a point it's a military industrial complex it's lobbyist

it's Marin Aedelson it's the Israeli APAC. They've infected the government. Like, it's that, it's that simple. There's no, like there's... I think it's a little bit of all of it. But it's a little bit of all.

But I'm not going to... Once I, once I, once I think I know what it is, or I'm 99% sure I know what it is. I quit digging because you throw a speculative narrative out. That's a new term I got the other day. Instead of

conspiracy theory because because those is a conspiracy theory is a new idea you know and and and I don't think you should necessarily discredit new ideas or speculative narratives. Yeah, but people like Candace. Because it doesn't fit up a certain agenda. Yeah, it's something that should be looked into and once it's disproven, then you disprove it. You don't just label it. Yeah, but again, what it is, you're identifying patterns. Like, you're identifying patterns and you're drawing.

conclusions that aren't that. Like, just because things align, there's patterns, it doesn't mean there's, like, it doesn't mean there's some, a puppeteer. There's patterns all over the world, the government, and there's no puppeteer. So, like, what Candace, what I think she fucks up on, and like, we're talking about the big voices,

like, she's saying there's a puppeteer. You have interests that are aligned together. Like, well, those are multiple puppeteers. Yeah, but I mean, they're not really puppeteers because they just want what they want. Israel wants.

That's a puppeteer. Yeah, but it's like it's pretty obvious. Like Israel wants to, Israel wants to control Gaza. They want the greater Israel. Like there is no, anytime you ever talk to Israeli and they let their fucking guard down, I'm sure you have, they want the greater Israel, the illegal settlements. They, like, if you ever talk to someone from Israel,

and they let their, and a lot of them don't, but if they let their guard down for a second, you're very aware of what they want. Like, have you ever, if you're experienced, that? I train. I know a lot of his Rayleigh's. That's what I'm saying. Every now I'm going to let their guard down. Like, they'll be like, they think they're in a safe place and all of a sudden they let their

guard down. Then like, oh, damn. Like, yeah, you're about that life. And I never experienced that? No. But, you know, like, but I mean, I could conclude this thought with like, Candice Owens is such a bad job and she divides so many people.

And this is why, like, even me was I said like I I think that we should question the Charlie Kirk thing I really do I think we should always question you should question everything but when Candace is going there and like like saying like connecting these dots and making these things of like the pager the this that that that all you're doing is splintering the fact the matter is the fact of the matter is is you're just you're the fact is that a fucking tranny lost his mind shot Charlie There's no Israel conspiracy. There's no Israel lobby.

You don't need that conspiracy to say that APAC is bad. They don't even need that involvement. A PAC is bad. A PAC is bad for America. I understand what you're saying. I mean, basically, you're saying that, you know, that what's happening is extremely divisive and it can almost be discrediting. But I think, like I said, I think Candace is on to some things.

I don't agree with everything she says. I don't think I even need to say that but I do think that at heart Candace is trying to do the right thing and... Oh, you think she believes it? You don't think she's doing an Alex Jones skit? I think that she was very close with Charlie

and that really hurt her and that she wants to figure out what the hell this is all about and why certain things don't make sense. I also find it so awkward like Ben Shapiro and fucking all like all these right-wing influence and Serers are like, raised her hand.

Like, I know what Charlie wanted. I was his best friend. Like, to me, like, I can't wrap my head around people using this guy's death is like a... Oh, that happens all the time. I know her and, like, Charlie were close. But, like, when you're always like, these are the text message. We used to sex. Like, you know, I'm just saying.

Like, it's like, what are you doing, dude? Like, just let the fucking guy die. Like, move the fuck on. And again, I think you should question it. And I'm happy people are questioning it. but when the average American here is a shit like Candace Owen says, they're not like, it pushes them away from it. You're like, well, wait a minute.

But like me, when I tell you, hey, when I explained you why APEC, why Marilyn Adelson is bad, why George Soros is bad for America, I could articulate it and I could explain to you in a way that you can grasp it and say, hey, yeah, you know what? Maybe we shouldn't vote for APEC Cannes. Maybe George Soros isn't the best. Maybe Marilyn Adelson giving Trump, or maybe APAC giving Trump, you know, $300 million, it's not good. And maybe that is why Trump was forced or manipulated to Iran.

Because when you take the military industrial compacts, you take Israel, you take all the donations, you take the people in his inner circle, I could see how they can manipulate him into doing this, which is good for big business and oil. I could see how that happens. And if you could dissect that and make it rational and you can unpack it, now you could start identifying, okay, well, Marilyn Allison's bad, A-PAC is bad, the military industrial complex is bad, but you don't have to go so far as to make it seem like some crazy fucking thing. Because the moment you go in that water, you lose a mass portion of the same country.

The moment you start telling them all this shit like, oh, do you like 9-11, fucking the Jews did 9-11, I don't care if they did or didn't. The moment you tell a big portion of this country that happened, they're gone. They're fucking out. You got to break it down and present it in a more digestible way. You know what I'm saying? And Candace doesn't. The best way to do things is to present people with information and let them make their own decisions.

Yeah, dude, but people are fucking stupid though, dude. Like, I know, like, people are so fucking stupid. Like, when I try to explain, like, economics and legal immigration to people to these liberals, and I'm telling them how much hardest made their life. They say, well, yeah, but Trump is bad, orange man's bad. People are fucking stupid, dude. But you also can't blame people for being stupid.

Like me and you, dude, we have jobs, we don't have a fucking job. Like, this is your job. Your job is to go online and research and look shit up and talk to people. You think the guy doing an average eight-hour job, doing construction, going home to his fucking wife, you know, she's working to two kids.

You think that motherfucker's going on Reddit forums and looking at YouTube and trying to forget. No, he doesn't. They're just trying to get through the day. They're trying to get through the fucking day. Like, when you go talk to real rednecks, they don't give a fuck about anything. Dude, they just like, dude, I just got done work

and I want to go hunt. Like, I don't give a fuck about this. I'm sick of my, I don't want my oil. Like, the orange man said that my, I would have a better way of life. I fucking voted for him. You know, so, but, and so when I say people are stupid, I'm saying you cannot be informed.

Or being misled. And be a normal person. So when you have people like Candice go and have these like fucking, and do Candace, by the way, she's fucking crush it. She looks at you. I'll fucking stone eye, dude. All fucking wide eye. She's like, let me tell you.

And you was like, damn, Candice. Like, yeah, I believe it, dude. The fucking Jews killed Charlie. Like, you fucking sold me, Candace. She looks at you all straight face with her fucking makeup is done perfectly. You're like, yeah, Candace. Have you met her? No, no, I'm sure I like her, though.

You should meet her. I'll like you guys together. But I just don't know. I don't know if she's doing the Alex Jones thing. We're like Alex Jones, I think believes it, but he, like, created a character. Like, are you creating a character that you know sells? Because imagine, like, in this day and H2,

you're one of the few people that excel by not being a clown. And I don't mean that Candace is a clown, but, I mean, you know, you do have some really fucking crazy takes. But, like, imagine if Candice just prevented, she's appealing to those fucking radical conspiracy theorist in cells and say they're only like a fraction of the percent of America but if you could have one dollar from a fraction of the percent of America

you've made a fuck ton of money so you're appealing to these like these kind of like oh yeah dude I'm on the Reddit like you're appealing to these and you're just like and I just find it like you're making money but it's like it's wrong it's not wrong it's just like maybe she does believe it I don't know dude maybe she does

I don't fucking out, dude. I'll blink you guys together. You guys sort the shit out. Yeah, we go shoot some guns, bro. Let me take... Well, let's take a break. Come back, talk a little bit about fighting, and then go blow some shit up.

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Up to 43. 3% off with code S-RS at M-D-W-T-R.com. After your purchase, they'll ask how you found them. Please show your support and let them know we sent you. Now, I've always wondered how I would do, and I think I'd do fucking horribly, but how I would do, like, say you were in, like, we had to clear this house and we had to, like, and being a gunfight. And I think, like, I know I could shoot well, but I had never been shot at. And I think that's what separates, like, the boys from the fucking men, right?

Because you've been shot out a lot. You know what it's like to have bullets of whizzed by your fucking head. Like, you know what that's like. I don't know what that's like. So, like, you go shoot a fucking piece of cardboard all day long, and you could clear a fucking room. I remember the first time I got shot out. I didn't even know what the hell was going on. We were in Iraq.

We were setting up these, we were setting up a bunch of different sniper positions. and so I was a point, man, and we cleared this whole building, which wound up being big. And then me and my buddy went up to the rooftop to get a vantage point. This is like 2, 3 o'clock in the morning. And we're on nods. We're up there like, I used to chew to back. I used to chew, you know, dip.

So up there having a dip, just talking about how we can't wait for it all to go down. and we're just shooting the shit. And tactics had go, it was a dumb-ass thing. We're just standing there on a fucking rooftop so anybody could see our silhouette. But there was no moon, there was no, so I guess you wouldn't really see a silhouette.

Anyways, whatever. We shouldn't have been doing that. And I remember we're sitting there talking, and I thought there was a billboard above me. And it sounded like somebody was taking, in like a yardstick and smack in the billboard like it was like like that like a snap

the round hitting the round and I'm like what the hell I'm like what the hell is that noise who's smacking the billboard above us and we look up and there's no fucking billboard I'm like holy shit we're getting fucking whizzing by or is that crack in the side of the building no no that's the crack when it goes over your head

that's the crack you hear you just hear the snap like a if you ever been in like a gunfight like You know, I always say, like, what separates the seals is, like, they create conditions to win. Like, if you look at every time a seal, like any, at least a publicized seal operations, they created the condition to win, like the Osama Llanar raid. Like, that was a, they created the perfect condition. If you ever been in a gunfight where, like, a legit, legitimate, like, you're on one side of a, like, a legitimate, like, I'm looking at you, you have a gun, I have a gun, and you're in a gun fight.

I've never been in a situation where I've been point blank distance to somebody and they had a gun and I had a gun. Well, not point blank, but you know what I'm saying? Like, you know, I'm about to get into, like, like, you see a cop shootout where you're like, I can see this motherfucker. He's shooting at me. I'm hitting reload, returning fire at him. Like, maybe like a 30, 40-yard engagement. Yeah. I don't think we shot anybody, especially on that deployment, everybody was within 50 yards.

No shit. Yeah. Yeah, I remember one time, one time we were, it was rural Iraq, and we were, we were like gilied up in the bushes and shit. In this town that was like, I don't know, 150 yards south of us was black, black, it was a black site or black town, which means no, no U.S. personnel could go in, fly over, do any of that. And they were basically what these guys were doing was they would come out and they would blow up all the main supply routes, the MSR routes. And so, and these poor army guys just kept getting killed. I mean, it was like every week, you know, more and more of them were getting killed and they couldn't figure out how to take care of it. So they brought us in.

And, you know, we did like an assessment and some surveillance. And we'd set up all these hide sites along this MSR. road main supply route and gilied up and we had we were so well hidden we had goats like local goat herders their goats were coming up and like eating the hay that we had put into our gile suits and we spent i don't know 24 hours there i think everybody i think every time we went out we got the guys within 24 hours and so here's the road and so we were set up kind of on the side of the road there was three or four sites you know where snipers were and then we have like kind of like a command element they call it the c2 element back here that's kind of

they're in charge of they're like the the command element and they had had a goat herder or not goat herders they had a line of five guys walk right behind them with aks and bombs they were going to shovels aka's bombs And they're like, oh shit, like, here they come. And they're like walked right over the top of my buddies. Like, like, right behind them, walked right over the top of them. Here's the road. They start digging on the road.

And, dude, I don't know how they didn't see us, but, and I didn't, I didn't shoot on this one because I didn't have visibility. But all of a sudden, I just heard all this gunfire. And I was like, oh shit, like we're suppressed. Yeah. And I was like, we couldn't get anybody on the radio. It was like, what the fuck's going on? What happened? And no response, no response.

And so me and my sniper partner are like back to back and we're like, all right, like, this is it. I guess everybody's dead. And like, they obviously know we're here. So they're going to wind up getting online and that whole that this village was like like it says only 150 yards i'm like they're going to wind up getting online and just clearing through this whole valley or burning us out of here they'll burn the the the field out to chase us out of here and i remember thinking like well we're just going to die like so we'll just take as

many of these fuckers out as we can and um and then uh my buddy uh he owns a company now called gorilla vanilla vanilla security or for delin gorilla security or some shit his name's Ben Wallach. And he comes over the radio and he just goes, holy shit, we just killed the fuck out of those guys. And I was like, I mean, that was like the best fucking feeling in the world. And so what had happened is the unsuppressed shots,

I guess was them. And then we had some army guys, like regular infantry army guys that we had brought out to train with us. Like we were like, hey, this is how we do business. Yeah. We want to pass this knowledge on to you so that we can move on to the next unit. That wasn't so for them.

I'd hang out to you guys. 18-year-old kid, man, got his first kill that day. But what had happened was these guys were, they had planted the bombs. And then our guys, we started shooting them. And this is like, you're just fucking. Well, they thought they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. because they had just walked this whole distance and walked right over the guys.

So they thought they were getting shot from this side of the road. So they, when they tried to retreat, they ran right back at us. And we were using green tip at the time. Do you know green tip? And they like for like a armor. Armor piercing rounds.

We're using green tip at the time and the guys did not even realize they were getting shot. No shit. You could just see like the shoulders flinging back and running and it they got so close that they had to come out of the weeds like out of the bushes stand up and start engaging that way and then they they eventually they dropped and then we switched to we switched from green tip we started using 77 green out okay why just you wanted more like an impact well the thing with the green tip is it was just flying right through the bottom i mean when

you go to look at it's like little pin holes you know what i mean like little pinholes and so these got yet. But with a 77 grand hollow tip. What do you think about the military switching to the bigger round? Which round? Are they switching to... 6.8? Yeah. Well, you want to shoot it because I got it out there.

My biggest thing, dude, like, I'm not a fucking war guy, but like you could watch Ukraine. Like, dude, right now, I mean, like, you want to go watch fucking war? Like, it's live stream, which is fucking a crazy time to be alive, right? Like, you're literally a war being live stream. And generally looks like, for the average, you No, you're just putting rounds down range.

So it's like, why do you want to give guys less rounds that go like marginally farther? And like it doesn't make sense to me. Yeah, I mean, what we started doing that. For you, it does. For like a seal guy that actually is like precision. Well, it's also a lot heavier. You know what I mean? And so we'll take that 6.8 out.

And it's amazing. It's punching through the range. It's punching through those railroad ties that are at the back of the wall. Which is insane. I got a story like. So I'm cutting weight in my first title fight. And like, dude, for some reason... Say that again?

My first title fight in Australia, I'm cutting weight to fight Izzy. And do, for some reason, the weight just not coming off. Like, it's just not fucking coming off. And, like, there's something, like, there's something so miserable about cutting weight. And I'm sure, like, you're in a sauna and you're just like, everything is telling you, you got to get out. Like, there's a party that's like, man, if I die right now, I'm cool. Like, this is cool, dude.

Like, fuck this. I'm over this. Like, I'm good. I mean, there's a... misery to it that I wish people experience because it's kind of awesome so security you she always hires me security

I hit I fucking I hit a fan and then after that do they like there's not security for me it's security for other people because they're like someone in some say shit Sean he's in getting a fight and the fights get canceled so I always have security now but uh so I'm sitting there in this fucking sauna and I talk to my

buddy Luke and I guess like I don't know what he was but he was like the equivalent to like a Navy seal in Australia. He was telling me about like the school he went to was locked in a fucking box for a few days. Like, you know. S-A-S-S guy. Yeah, he's something like that.

So anyways, Luke, one of the coolest guy. You want to talk about somebody who has like a deep fucking passion for murder to tell you something about Luke. We're walking down. And he's a really like buttoned up like big strong Australian man. Didn't really smile. Didn't really joke. And he was talking to a story about.

how like his buddy didn't murder somebody and it was the only time I seen him show like expression of disappointment that like he had an opportunity to murder like a bad guy he didn't do it and like Luke was like fuck we'll see. I was like all right Luke so anyways I'm in a sauna I'm cutting fucking weight I'm miserable and I say hey Luke what's something miserable you've done like you know like talk to us Luke I want to know about you man like tell me something miserable like tell me the most miserable you've been in life and I was expecting like when I said that question. I was wanting him to say like, oh

well one time, you know, I was locked in the box in training and like some fucking Asian bitch was like smacking my ass with a fucking you know, I heard that story later was smacking me or the whip. No, that wasn't the story I got. He was like, well, Sean, let me tell you. I was in Afghanistan once. I was like, oh, fuck, dude. I said it's not the store I wanted to hear.

And he goes, we were driving and our convoy got hit with an RPG and I'm wearing my translator all over me. I'm just covered in him. He goes, we get out because we're in mobile hole and we have to hike like five kilometers. Oh, fuck that is, you know, freedom math. And he goes, and as we're hiking, we're laying in a ditch, taking fire, and I'm covered in the blood of my translator. And I remember laying there holding my gun as like we're in this firefight that I'm okay to like, today's the day I'm going to die, but I'm at peace with

it. Like, I'm, I am. I'm sorry. so miserable, this is so bad, that, like, if I die here, I'm okay with this. And, like, me and all these fighters, dude, we're saying they're just cutting weight, like, fucking speechless, as this guy's telling us, it's like, and he said it, like,

I'm saying it as a joke, but he's saying, like, I mean, he's, like, bearing his soul in this story, and we're all cutting weight, like, just, like, jaws open, like, yeah, dude, like, what do I say to that? Like, I'm a fucking pussy. Like, I get it, dude, all right. Point proven. Zip up the

fucking sauna, dude. I'm gonna shut the fuck up now. I'm a fucking pussy. Point proven. But like when you when you hear some stories that people gone through, oh my god, dude. Yeah. But even like the Ukraine war, like you're watching. There's a video online of a guy getting in a knife fight. You see that? It's literally like two guys, GoPro and knife fight. And like the last thing as he dies is like kind of like you did good. And like, I mean, it's fucking wild. Like the Ukraine war being being televised or being live streamed, I mean, I can't wrap my head around that. Like, you can go on YouTube right now and you can watch firefights, battle, tank maneuvers,

drone footage. It's like, we live in such a fucking crazy world that like, I hope it vilifies war even more, but who knows? Yeah, man. So anyways, long story short, I was saying, I really like to get in a gunfight, but hopefully against the seal because I think I'd be a little bitch about it, you know, because you watch cops. Every now and then do a cop will get in a gunfight and like a legitimate gunfight.

We're like the guy's getting fire and he's returning fire and he'll fucking put his mag up and he'll hit his reload, he'll rack. And then you watch some guy. I mean, dude, the thing is like, I've been, look, I don't know if you'll rise to the occasion or not. I would, I would think you would, considering what you do for a living. But, dude, you mean, when you're fighting, I mean, when you're in a fight and you're getting your ass beat, is there, is there, is there, is there, do you hit a point where you're

like, where you're like, well, I'm fucking in this now. And so there's no getting. out of this. Like, when you know, when you're gonna be, there's only one choice. You either keep going or you don't. And you have to make a mental decision. You have to, I'm going to keep going or I'm not.

But how do you like the urge to flinch to you? When you get around fucking, like, how do you fight that urge? It slows down. Yeah, no, I mean, it's one of the things. I just don't know if you know, I don't know if you're that kind of, if you ever seen a seal. Have you ever seen a seal in a gun? fight and be a little like like I don't want to say like I don't want to say a pussy

dude because you're not you're a seal in a gunfight but have you ever you've ever been with the seal and you got in a gun fight and you're like you're right dude no shit it happens at all levels man and they just like what is it just more of like they get flinchy they get like more of like I don't want to fucking like I don't want to pop my head around the corner you mean like straight froze now No, I've seen people freeze. I've seen people hiding bathtubs. I've seen it all.

You know, but I mean, a lot of times the first time, you know, it's... I think that's the benefit of experience, right? You've been in a lot of fucking gunfights. So, like, you're probably really comfortable if somebody's shooting at you. It's this comfortable as you can be. It's, I mean, I used to say I'd rather be face down in a ditch with bullets flying over me than public speaking. So that was home. to me. Now it's not. Now I wonder

how I would, uh, now I wonder like how, how would I react after all these years? When I was younger, did I almost killed somebody? I mean, I was like seconds away from murdering this guy. There's a party and, um, my buddy invited me over

and, um, fucking, so he like, I'm at this party. It's kind of a weird party. It never really would be there. It was kind of strange with people that are weird. So my buddy starts wrestling me and like I kind of hit up with a hip-top. and he puts his fucking and I was I was younger bro I mean I literally wanted to die like I had a death wish so I he puts a hole in the wall girl comes downstairs and says uh say you gotta pay for

it at this moment I'm like apologetic hey sorry dude my bad like I was like 18 years old like I didn't do it he did it I'll leave but I'm not paying for it comes downstairs again as I'm walking towards the door say you know what my boyfriend says you have to but she had it she said in a way of like fear and threatening. Like she was fearful, but she also was like threatening me. And I was like, well, no, you want to tell your boyfriend. If he wants to come fucking pay for, he can come down and suck my

dick and earn it. And I said, no, dude, this fucking guy, this guy fucking come downstairs with 12-gate shotgun. Boom, racks it. Fucking idiot, put it too close to my head. So I put my hands up, right? And the door's like, over there. I'm like, man, like, and I knew in my head, like, I knew what I was going to do. Like, I was either

going to die here right now or I was going to fuck this guy up. So I put my hands up and I'm like, dude, I'm so sorry, man. Like, I'm like, I'm like, looking down. Like, I'm so sorry, dude. Just like, let me go home. Let me go home. And like, I fucking, he's like, call me a fucking pussy. Boom, I grabbed the guy and just started fucking drilling him in the face. I remember there was a piece of drywall. And I started grabbing his head, just slammed his head to the dry wall. I didn't hit a stud and fucking put a hole, balls down. He's now, like, he's on his knees now after his head. And I

fucking push kick him, take the shotgun out. And I'm like, fucking up. As I present it. to fucking, fucking put around in him, his fucking girlfriend. Thank fucking God. Because I'm not beating that case. I'm not beating that charge. Girlfriend jumps on top of him

and starts begging for his life. And I think about this girl all the time because like, if it wasn't for her jumping on top and begging for his life, again, institutionalized. Shut, dude. Yeah.

So it's like, it's kind of weird, dude. I mean, yeah, so going back to like gunfights, I think when, I think when you're in it and you're resigned to it and you're just real focus, like, there's nothing you can't do. Or, like, oh, if you can overcome. Yeah.

Oh, and to answer your question, when you're in a fight and you're getting a living shit kicked out of you and you know you're going to lose, you just tell yourself, one, I don't want to get finished. I'm not going to be a bitch. And two, maybe I get lucky. The only thing you're thinking about is, like, maybe I can get lucky. It only takes one. So you still have the will to fight. Yeah, like, I know I'm not going to win. I know I've lost every round.

Maybe I get lucky. just put your hands up and maybe you get lucky. Have you gotten lucky? No, when I've got the shit kicked out. I'm not, I just continue to get the shit kicked out of me. No, I just continue to get the shit kicked out of me. Yeah, no, no, never do you, yeah, no. What is your mindset when you walk into a fight?

Actually, hold on. Before we move on, you know, Sean, I'm a fan and I need you to sign something, but it's probably not going to be the typical thing you sign. I love that you got kicked out at Trump's 80th birthday party. Oh, let's go, man. I'm going to use the show as the certificate of authenticity. Actually, by the way, you know, I joke.

These guys, they did detain me and they did, like, they did trespass me, and I don't think they've been charged me, but these guys, these Marshalls save my fucking life. Dude, when I saw that, I was like, holy shit. I'll bet those dudes love to do it. would they? Oh, dude, they saved my fucking life. So, like, what people don't understand is when you're in a crowd,

like, I mean, sure, if you've done security and you've worked crowds, like, thank you. You understand how people die. Let's go, dude. By the way, those marshals, so like, if you guys are watching, man, thank you. You guys saved my fucking life.

They're watching. So, so, dude, when you're in a crowd, the first time I was in a crowd and I've experienced, I was at a UFC Fan Expo. And I just thought it was like gay and lame. I didn't want to do it. So I walked in the crowd.

Like this is fucking gay. I want to go fight a fan or do something fun. And then like they start forming around you. And you're like everything just like there's a wall of people around you. And I remember telling this guy, hey dude, like back the fuck up. And like he had so much fear on his face because he couldn't back up because he's in this crowd of a wall of people. He's like, dude, I can't.

And at that moment, you're like, oh man, I understand how people die in a crowd. So what happened is I was like once I snuck in I was like I'm gonna try to be like real like undercover And then once I was made by the fans Like if I didn't jump in that ring people would have died You're talking about thousands of people Would gather around you and they start pushing and pushing and pushing

And then you create this wall of fucking people So when I jumped in the ring It was like this is the only place I could go Where I walk in and die Wow Beas right it's elevated their sides So I was like well at least I'm safe in this ring

and then once the marshals came to get me out I mean they were fighting people back like they were shoving people checking people that like if it wasn't for them somebody could have died by me being there and I mean I feel like an asshole in the process but I didn't even think about that I was like I'm just gonna hide in and walk

but like crowds man there so those marshals we're talking about these big corn-fed fucking people dude they were just checking fans dragging people out I'm shoving fans off me. Damn. If it wasn't for them, dude, somebody would have died.

They 100% saved someone's life that day. Shit. Yeah. If you ever been in the middle of a crowd? Oh, yeah. A bunch of times. Yeah, it's like... It's like, that's the scariest.

That's the scariest shit. You take one... You can't identify... I mean, there's so many people. But for me, it's more the... Like, you take one person that weighs 150 pounds, 200 pounds. Now you add a thousand of them pushing on each other.

You create this wall that's why people, like, get trampled and stuff getting crowds and you just fucking die. But yeah, those marshals, man, they fucking saved my life, dude. So anyways, that's awesome. Marcials, thank you guys. What happened there? I got to know

the story, you know, so we have framed us and put it in the studio. Yeah, so Trump, the UFC was like, hey, you know, you want to go, you want to go, I want to go to the fight. So I bought tickets. So my girls' family's up there, I had to go tell them something.

So I already planned a trip. It's like, you know, I'll just make a fucking detour. So I made a detour and then Hunter called me and was like, hey, you know, you didn't get cleared, man, sorry. Like the White House wouldn't clear you. And mind you, of course they didn't fucking clear me. I was shocked when, I was shocked when Hunter said I could go in the first place. Well, yeah, of course I'm looking at my fucking tweets. Like, you're not going to fucking clear me.

And I'm not going to let me go. So I wasn't surprised, right? But then I told the UFC, well, like, do you at least let me go to the fan fest. Like, let me go to like to the gates and like, you're not going to the gates and like, I'm going to, go hang out with fans. Like, I'm already there. Like, let me go say what's up in the UFC fucking boom. And I was like, hey, you know, like, why don't you guys just give me like some security?

So I could go say what's up? UFC. Nothing. Nothing. And then even my manager reach out to him. He was like, you know, Sean's going to sneak in and go, right? And like, can you give him security? Like, oh, sorry, we can't.

Damn. So it's like they, uh, and I still was like, fuck, I'm still going to go anyways, you know? But yeah, I know the UFC, the Trump administration. I think I was just salty for the UFC because. is like Trump blacklisted me from the White House, but the UFC blacklisted me from the whole event. They didn't give me security. Yeah, they didn't get me asserted.

They didn't give me passes. There was like a big fan event with all the fighters went. They don't let me go. But they would have fucking known. I mean, I don't blame the UFC because I would have been up there with a microphone. Like, hey, guys, these fucking pedophiles. What are you fucking doing here? It's fucking Trump, dude.

How many times is your name in the list? So I can't blame them, you know? Are you the one that said, why would I go fight for a bunch of pedophiles? Yeah, I think I said like something like that Like I mean So everyone's like Well why did you want to go? I'm like dude I get separate politics and fighting

Like it's cool it's at the fucking White House man It's a once in a lifetime event Of course I'd fucking go But I don't blame the UFC And I don't blame the White House Because Fucking Trump's a piece shit And I would have definitely have said that

On live TV And they would have been a big shit show So I don't blame anybody right on man I own it I fucking own it I love it so what are you getting ready for

when are you gonna fight again right now so I have this AC joint separation it's not bad dude I just need probably a couple more months just to let it heal up like I mean you'll see me rubbing it right now

just fucking strobing but dude I don't know man it's all about money you know people talk about like who's a fight who do you want to fight I don't give a fog just pay me well

I'll fucking fight anybody dude I'll go fight I'll go out I'll go to heavyweight if you pay me well. So fighting to me is really just a job, and I like the fans. Well, Polly Market, Scatchew, is the favorite to still be middleweight champ at the end of 2026. You're leading the odds. How do you see the rest of 2026 playing out?

Oh, how do I bet, dude? I should just fucking ride the bench to play 26. And what are you hoping for? No, I mean, my shoulder heels up, I fight. I like fighting, dude. I like even, you know, going back to, like, who I am as a person, I am better when I'm in camp. Like, so me being injured out of camp, I'm fucking dude.

Like, I'm like, I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing fucking well. Like, I was in Florida. I'm not doing well. Like, I'm not doing well. I like, I'm trying to create enemies I don't have. I'm trying to pick fights that aren't there. Like, everybody's out to fucking get me right now.

And I'm fully aware that, like, I'm in limbo because my injury. So me being in limbo, I'm just like, I just, I'm fucking just spiraling, you know? I'm just like trying to get... You don't do well in idle. Fuck no, dude. I need to have something to fight. I need to have some kind of misery. I need to have something like I need to force myself to die.

I need to, I need to wake up every day and like, I want this to be over. That's the more I'm at my best. This where I'm like, you know, whatever I want. I fucking hate this. You know, like start twitching and shit. Start fucking twitching. Dude, I hope you start helping kids, man. You could have a lot of power.

For future generations. My girl hates it. She doesn't hate it, but like, I'm like, I'm really fucking twitchy, and I hide it so well in public. But, like, I'm so fucking, do you have any twitches or, like, tics or anything like that? So, like, sometimes, like, I think about thoughts a lot and, like, they make me feel uncomfortable and I don't think I know how to process of motion.

So, like, awesome we're saying they're having a conversation, like, fucking, like, just, like, Twitch. I'm like, what the fuck is wrong with you? I'm like, dude, I can't help it. I can't fucking help it. I try not to. I can't fucking help it. The most. Crowds?

Crowds? A lot of... People you don't know. A lot of... But also a lot of... I'm around my girl. I twitch a lot more around her. No shit.

Because I think I'm trying to, like, hide who I am, right? So, like, I have all these thoughts in my head. They're, like, usually really fucked up thoughts. Like, I've, like, real fucked up thoughts. You think she doesn't know this? No, she knows it, but, like, it makes me so uncomfortable that, uh...

I think it just, like, I think it just manifests itself and like a physical reaction because like they saw I'm looking at my wife and they're so fucking uncomfortable and so fucked up that like I think it just manifests itself

in a in a way I used to be able like I still do every now and then if I really have a bad thought and I say bad thought it could be anything like a shameful thing I've done a shameful thing I want to do

I used to just visualize I say you so I fucking do it all the time still but every time I have a thought you guys try it and I help you every time I have a thought I can't get out of my head I've visualized myself shooting myself in the head.

And like, I always visualize the same thing. I just like, I'll be talking to my wife. I thought, I'm sorry. I just think about like the slow motion, like bullet, just like entering and fracturing and expanding. And I think about the actual visual image of it. And it like, I just focus on that thought, dude. And like, it just blanks me out. Holy shit.

And then if the thought is, and then if the thought's too big and I can't get it out, I'll even just like touch my head a little bit. Just like, and I visual, once I put my finger on my head and I could like put my finger on the temple, and I could actually like see the trajectory of the bullet coming out. And like, it just blanks my mind right out. Whoa. But no, it just helps, dude. It just helps.

Dude, that is dark. Well, I mean, it just helps because like you just like, you just like, it's such an extreme, like, it's such an extreme visual and mental image. It just all, whatever I'm thinking about now and the moment I start focusing on that, it just, Takes everything away. What's that? Do you think, how'd you meet your wife? No, funny enough, dude, we actually met.

I mean, this was like... Tender? Yeah, Tender seven years ago. Oh, shit. Are you serious? So I wasn't as famous back then, right? I was like, dude, she... Did you really meet her on Tinder?

Yeah, dude. I was just trying to get laid, dude. I was just trying to get fucking laid. Like, I was trying to get laid. What was your profile pick? I don't know, dude. I don't think I really... I think it was me riding a horse or something, dude?

And I was like, I try to make myself look non-threatening, dude. I wanted to be fun, but non-threatening, right? That's what you want. This is me not being a psychopath. Yeah, no, you don't find out about after you're in Detroit. So anyways. I like horses. Yeah, I like horses.

Yeah, I'm a good guy. So anyways, I meet her. And I always laugh because if you go back to our first meeting and say, hey, like, you guys are going to be married one day? We would both look at each other and be like, are you fucking retarded? Like, what the fuck? So my girl, by the way, I had this old shitty Nissan fucked up truck, and she sees him, I'm sitting on my truck.

And, like, she's, dude, she's really together, two degrees. Her dad is, like, in the go fuck yourself wealthy category. Like, I had to sign a pre-up. Like, I had to sign a pre-up just because you know how rich people work. Like, rich people put assets in different names. So it's like, the dad was like, you're not letting this motherfucker. You're not letting this motherfucker anywhere near my money. And he's looking at his daughter.

Are you serious with the shit? Dude. And like, we had this conversation once. Oh, man, I'll tell you a funny story. So I had monkey pox the first time I met him. Chris Curtis, no racism. I don't think I ever have anybody that's had monkey pox. Yeah, no, dude.

Yeah. So I'm in the gym, dude. I'm in the gym. And my buddy, Chris Curtis, black guy, not monkey boy. He just happened to me black, you know? So I'm in the gym And he has like some spots on him like Bro, that don't look right

And mind you, this guy's like one of my closest friends I mean him getting a fights all the time Like fist fight we've probably been in five fist fights Like we fight he's a dirty fucking liberal you know But uh we get we get a fight all the time I'm like do you got some like weird spots on you Like are you okay He's like oh yeah no I'm good dude just a pimple

I'm like all right dude like that's cool Hopefully if fucking parents won't watch this They probably don't but So I was like that that's cool dude And he's out of the gym for like two fucking weeks. So my girl, my girl's like old school. Like you don't meet her family. Like guys don't meet the family.

Like my fucking my house wasn't like that. I'm like be fucking 16 years old having sex up in the fucking room. Like she'll be walking out half naked past the family. Like that wasn't how my family was. Like we had no like we had no boundaries in my family dude. So like me and her parents was a big fucking thing for her. For me I'm like, oh man, it's weird. actually date a girl that has a dad, but I'm not really used to that.

Usually it's like, usually in my past experience was like, you had to tell me how your dad molested you, and then I have to feel real bad about that. But anyway. But I love it, bro. My girl saved me from it. What did you guys do? What was the first date? We just went to Starbucks.

No, we just went to Starbucks and hung out. We talked to about, it was funny because, like, me, I'm on my worst behavior. I'm talking, like, one of, like, the barista guys. I'm like, you some kind of faggy working at Starbucks. He's like, no, man, I'm a libertarian. I like guns. And my girl is saying, like, what the fuck? Upstate New York girl.

So I meet her family, dude. I meet her fucking family. And I, like, all of a sudden I have, like, I'm an emotional guy. I'm an emotional guy, just who I am. Like, I don't know why. I just like, like, I mean, I was like, dude, I talked to this vet the other day. I'm going to start fucking bawling. Like, you know, he, uh, where I was at, he's like, hey, you should go see my brothers

at Arlington. bro and he said that and like the way he said it you even thinking about it like it almost fucked me up like just hearing him say that like you should go meet my brothers like at arlan like it's fucking it fuck me up dude like even thinking about it makes you want a crap emotional guy so anyways i start talking to her and i have no shame in it you know i'm i could be a pussy some days so i start talking to her fucking dad and he starts like inquiring about my life about my dad and mind you, I have this fucking, I have this like massively high fever

because the monkey pox, you get a fever and then you get the rash. So like, I'll over dinner, so I'm already not in the right mindset. I'm fucking jacked up on caffeine. And like, I probably have like a higher and three fever. I'm just trying to keep it together and I start talking about my childhood.

And my brother raised me. Like, my brother is like, for all rights or wrong or indifferent. Like he fucking, he raised me. me like he he raised me and I started telling the story I'm gonna try to keep my shit together when I tell the story I'm gonna try to keep it together don't fucking I'm gonna keep my shit together I can't look when I say it so there was one day my brother strapped like knives you I mean we're talking about like elementary school strapped knives too is like his pants and his

plan was to go sit next to my dad and stab I kill damn dude so I'm like telling the story and I got to stay animated because if I actually feel it you know I'm gonna break you me down. So if I stay animated, I just like, I'm good. Think about the bullet. Think about the bullet. So I'm telling the story and like I just start crying. And mine, I tried a high fever, you know, but like I was like just trying to explain to him what it was like. I just started first time my parents fucking crying trying to keep my shit together because I was telling that story. And he asked me. Like I didn't, it was no unsolicited advice. I was just trying to explain. And I also had a really high fucking fever. Like I was mildly delirious. Yeah, first time met her parents

I had like a fucking breakdown. Not a breakdown. It was just more of just like, yeah, no, it's my brother raised me. And I just need a sec, one sec. And then, yeah. So then I go home. What does he say to that? He, dude, his life, they're like when you, my girl's family.

I mean, the dad was, the grandfather on the mom's side, beloved in the town. They have, like, soccer. They have, like, golf tournaments. He was a coach at, like, some good college. War or two vet, P-O-W, bowed of the bowl. The phrase is honor. Her dad,

her dad's business owner, he inherited the business. Like, you know what I'm saying? They have, like, they have a long lineage, lineage of like success and stability.

My lineage is like, fucking mental illness and permanent disability. So it's like, you know, he has to kind of wrap his head around that. Yeah, I told him. We married into similar families.

Yeah, right? My father-in-law, kind of the same deal. And, uh, Yeah, yeah. Yeah, dude, but I mean, you're extremely worried.

But, dude, you're an American fucking hero, my man. I don't think that's how they saw it. Don't show them the Columbia part. So, anyways, I go break up. I have a breakdown, dude. I go home and, like, I wake up. I text to my girl. I'm like, dude, I had to leave.

Sorry, I have a massive fever. I'm fucked up. I wake up, dude. I have legions all over my body from monkeypox. And I call Kurt. I was like, you motherfucker, dude. You motherfucker. Damn.

Do you get along with them? Oh, yeah. No, they're fucking great, dude. They're like, they're great. They're like, like, could not ask for, like, better fucking in-laws. Do you get along with the in-laws? I do. Yeah.

It took a little bit. Yeah, I think they still, I think they would still rather not be with a daughter. I think if they could snap their fingers, they'd probably say, say no, but I mean, whatever, dude. It's funny. I say the story a lot, but after we got married, you know, we go meet him for breakfast and

which I don't blame when we go meet him for breakfast and he looks at me. We're saying our goodbyes, you know, and shakes my hand. You go, Sean, uh, I didn't think you were going to be my son-in-law, but here we are.

He just walks the fuck away. Holy shit. I just, But dude, I know who I am, bro. Like, I mean, like I said, I grew up like, I mean, I fucking know who I am, dude. I'm fucking a high school dropout. I, the only reason why I'm not fucking institutionalized is because I hit people in the fucking head.

Like, I'm a fucking loser. Like, and now everyone was like, oh, no, no, no, I am. Like, who I, I mean, where I came from, like, I mean, girls are getting fucking, like, I remember being in fucking, like, junior high and chicks were getting fucking double-teamed in my fucking living room. Like, that's what. who I came from, right? Like, we didn't have fucking, like,

I mean, we didn't have clean towels, dude. We had, like, the communal fucking towel that after, like, fucking three weeks, it turned into this, like, moldy fucking mess. Now you're debating, do I take the sheet off my bed or do I use the moldy town? I'm gonna take the sheet off the bed.

But, you know, the thing about my parents, you, they were ever, like, we were very middle class. Like, we were very, I probably lower. They were, like, meat cutters. They worked at Albertsons together. But when you're white trash, you just fucking,

She just spend fucking money. So by after you got all, you know, the beer, the alcohol, whatever the fuck else they're buying, you just were poor. But it's why, like, kids, too, need to start investing, man. So, like. Dude, I mean, I know you think that of yourself, but fuck, Sean. I'm telling you, dude. Like, you can have such an impact on today's youth. I cannot tell you, I am so fucking lucky.

I'm so lucky, dude. Like, if I go back and I look at all my life from, like, the, the, the fucking revolver to almost shooting the guy. And even so much other than that. Like, like, you want to talk about God? Like, I am so lucky because if any one of these thousand events happen any other way, I would not be here today. Or I'd be in a prison case somewhere. I'm glad you just said that. Yeah.

My girl's dad actually finally one Christmas, you best gift he ever gave me. He gave me like a $500 check and he handed me a laptop. I'm like, oh, that's cool, man. I don't fucking need your money. Like, I don't want your money. He's like, no, no, no. And he opened up a Charles Swab account. And he's like, you're going to start investing.

Like, when my girl met me, I had a million dollars under a bag in my bed. Like, yeah, what am I going to do with it, babe? And she was like, are you fucking stupid? I'm like, I don't know. So now, like, I start investing. And, like, it's one of those things. I think one of the things about, like, when you meet really wealthy people, they don't tell you it's so easy to make money.

America and they they don't teach you that as a kid so like and I don't mean like I'm not one of those like people that are like oh you're fucking stupid like I was trying to explain to my girl I was like babe you're talking about investing the money like do you think I ever gave a fuck about that like do you think I really do you think I really had the thought process to saying hey if I could put $100 now and 10 years it'll be $5,000 10,000 like I didn't I didn't have that thought process. So, my girl really changed my life. If it wasn't for her, I'd be in such

I'd be in such a bad place. I'd probably be with some fucking porn star, only fans, girl, just like being a, just going deeper into a, because I mean, even dude, even like, I mean, I was a piece of shit. And like my, once I, like, I got like my initial thing, it wasn't because I was a good guy.

It was because like I let people know, like, dude, I'm a piece of shit and I love it. Like, I don't do drugs. I do all my mistakes over. This is who I am. And my girl really like really stopped and said like you can't be a piece of shit if you want to be with me, which was fucking real hard. Is that the first time you've ever had exposure to a family like that? Oh God, yeah. It's so fucking weird. And first time she's ever exposed to a family like me. It's so weird, man, when you think about like, honestly, like after seeing her family,

I don't know if I'm going to, I'm grateful for my family. Because you know, dude, they're really rich whites, bro. It's different. There's like these, there's like these hierarchies. And like they love each other, but there's like separations from church and state. Like there's separation between like I'm the dad, you're the daughter. Like it's a very like, it's not cold. You know, they love each other and they do everything for each other.

But it's like a very cold environment, right? Like right wrong or indifferent, dude. I might have known who my mom was banging when I was in elementary school. knew, you know. So, like, it was a Christmas, dude, it was Christmas with the whites. And, like, the first Christmas I've ever been to with the whites, dude. And it was like, I remember sitting there like, what the fuck am I doing here? So, like, they love food. White people love food, dude. Like, when you, when you saw the whites, like, I always saw a story, they go and they buy these, like, really nice cheeses and shit. The whites love cheeses, you know? So they go and they buy,

like, you know, like a whole basket. Like, this is like Gouda. This is like age cheese. There's fucking mold on this cheese. And they like, because it's like a Christmas thing. So like, if you guys ever want to make a white person happy, getting some cheese, apparently? So, so anyways, they, the dad goes, well,

hey daughter, um, do you know where your like your cheese knives are at? And she was, oh, dad, sorry, like, uh, We just have regular knives. Oh, I don't have a set. And, dude, the dad, and she'll look back. Like, that's not how it happened. And the dad looked at her like, How the fuck do you not have a cheese knife?

I didn't have a cheese knife. I didn't know there was a fucking cheese knife, dude. Where's your security board? So I'm just saying there witnessing all this, like the most upsetting thing about your guys' day is you don't have a fucking cheese knife. Like, I mean, what the fuck? So I'm just saying there, like, watching this interaction.

And I'm just, like, taking it all in and absorbing it. and looking how the whites live. I always say there's whites and there's whites, bro. And like, to hurt family's eyes, bro, I ain't a fucking white man. Like, I am like, I'm not white. So later on, as a dinner progresses, I'm going to get so fucking, I'm going to get yelled after telling these stories, but whatever.

It's good, bro. It's a compliment to your family. I always tell her, like, babe, it's a compliment. I didn't grow up that way. Like, dude, I was doing Christmas, I was probably trying to fucking have sexual horror upstairs. Like, that was not like, it's good. So they're all like, they cook all day long and they go and they buy like this nice

organic grass bread fucking prime rib. And then the backyard all day long like poking and prod and this fucking piece of meat. Like, oh man, look how tender that is. It's been on it's been on for this long. And I'm just saying they're like, this is the most boring white ass shit I've ever did it. Like we need to fight some fucking people over, dude. Like, give me a fucking beer bottle that had any day over this.

It's like I would, I would rather go fucking fight my brother because he said some shit than be here. But it's nice. So then we have dinner and I look around and everyone's real nice. They're talking about like investments and stock accounts and, you know, the coffee fucking, the coffee's in. So I'm like, hey, guys, how do you guys feel about God? Like, yeah, so like it's outside the brother? I'm like, so do you, do you partake? Do you believe, I mean, it is Christmas.

Do you believe in baby Jesus? and the mom and the mom goes yeah I know do you believe in Christ and I'm just laughing because I'm like they're so structured and so uninvolved in each other's lives

that they don't even know like the belief system of their kids because there's so many layers of structure in their lives you are the father you or the mother you're a kid which I think is good to have these like layers of it And like my girl loves her dad.

She's a dad's girl. Like she should have been a tombo, you know. So they start talking about it. And I'm just like absorbing all this. Like, huh. Because the way I grew up, dude, like our Christmas dinner, dude, like, I mean, not as an adult as a kid. My brother would be like, oh, I'm going to go fucking bang my, my girlfriend of this whore. I'm like, this is that Christmas dinner conversation, you know?

So you watch this and you're just like, huh. This is how you guys live. fucking boring. That's why I feel here in this town, by the way. I just walk around like, oh, fucking, I don't know, dude. Where are the black people at? Give me some blacks. Do my people.

No, but, uh, yeah, so you're with a white, you know, it's like. This is a good town, man. What people care about here is God, don't fuck with our kids. Oh, it's great. Everybody's nice to each other. Yeah, if we had more God's parent rednecks,

I always say rednex, and I think we'll save the country. Like, we just need more fucking rednecks. Mind you guys, I have rednecks. You'd be a black redneck. You'd be a yellow redneck. I think of the fuck. But like the mentality of a redneck,

just hard work and God-fearing people. It's like a dying breed, man. Makes you real sad. Do you think you have kids? Yeah, I wouldn't have kids. I won't have kids. Me and my girl talking about it. She went and got tested.

She's all good. We might do IVF. She doesn't need IVF, but I think you could pick a boy. And I know God's going to curse me with a girl, you know. What do you have a boy girl? That boy and a girl. Yeah.

Boy first. So. The Schultz method, I think is what they call it. It works. What's the Schultz method? I'm going to butcher this. My wife, I just do what she says. But we really wanted a boy first.

And there's, once you start tracking the, what, the ovulation cycle, there's specific. So let me. thing. So the boy sperm, the male sperm is really fast, but it dies really quick. Got you. So whatever point during the ovulation cycle, it's the, you don't have sex until, until, like, the egg has dropped. Yeah, yeah. So you have to look this up. So I don't, so you got to find the timing. It's the timing. Yeah, so it's the timing. So as soon as the egg drops, you know, and they can, like, track all this stuff.

That's when you have sex. And then the male sperm swam to the top and they fertilize the egg and the females are slower, right? Sure shit, we had a boy. And then you did the option. Next one, we wanted a girl. So this, so with the girl. Yeah, but you're religious, bro.

God can't have your bone. So with the girl, with the female, you want to have sex before the egg drops. and so you have sex and all the males swim up there as fast as they can and they die. And the female ones, they swim slower but they live longer.

So the female ones are all hanging around in there waiting for the egg to drop. And then when it drops, they fertilize the egg. Let me tell you now, this is happening. She had worked two times in a row. I know, I'm calling my girl right now, dude.

Schultz method. Yeah, I know. I just know God will curse me. Now she has to listen to the podcast. Yeah. No, no, don't know. I know God will curse me with a girl. God's going to look at me.

If there is a God, he's going down on me. He's like, you think, after all the damage you've done, you get a boy? Fuck no. It's time for you to repent, sir. Have a fucking girl. God, God will curse. My girl is something else, man. But also, too, like, I would probably better with a girl because, like, I think that I'm probably a little bit too, like, hard on men, you know?

Yeah. But I'm kind of, but then I'm pretty too soft. I don't know, man. But, like, so we're talking about an IVF. My girl doesn't want you because she'd get pregnant. But I'm like, I really, like, go spend 50 grand and be able to pick a boy. Like, it's kind of worth it. Girls are cool.

I bought trucks for more. You're going to love them both. Yeah, no, maybe I should just do it the old school way. But, yeah, no, man, I want, I think one of the hard things for me with having a family is I'm kind of mentally stuck as who I was as a kid. And I know this might say, like, this might seem weird to a lot of people. And a lot of people can relate to this. But, like, I am a 35-year-old grown-ass man.

I know who I am, but mentally there's a part of me that is still stuck in that person. So to actually think about like being a dad, waking up to a kid in the next room, like to like to raise a kid to be like, you know, better than I am, which really won't be that hard, right? If I'm, if I made it, dude, anybody could fucking make it. But like a part of me is kind of stuck in that mentality of who I was. and I was like 16 years old. It's hard for me to picture that, but I feel like you just got to do it and make the mistake

and just fucking figure it out. It changes you do, but it's hard, man. It's hard to get out of that, like, you know. And I think a lot of people, too, that have, not a lot of people, but a lot of people, like, they have, they had, like, inspiration, you know? Like, yeah, you're going to grow up and be a fucking dad. Like, you're going to do this and that.

Like, that's not me, man. It was like, if you fucking had a, you knocked a girl, punched me on the stomach. Like, you're a fucking idiot, you know? Like, you're, like, that was never an option. Like, being a dad was never an option for me. I never wanted it. And now I'm with my girl and, like, I'm, you know, I'm established.

So, yeah, I'm with the next chapter of life. Maybe it make me, you know, change a little bit or not. Without taking me to church, right? Raised him as a Christian. You should. Yeah, and I probably would. Yeah, I probably would. Was your wife a Christian?

Um, I think their, I think their family would all be agnostic. Like, I think if you really, I think if you really had to ask them, gun to the head, do you believe that Jesus was the son of God? Even though they say they're Christian, I don't know if, like, gun to the head, that would be, like, the answer on their heart. So I think they would move more, more fond of Gnostic. But my girl went to church every Sunday. Like, they still go to church for Christmas. I think it's just like when you're white, do you? It's what you're white.

You're a white man. And then, and like, but they, upstate New York is kind of like a farm town, you know. Very different. But yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I would probably, that's hard. How do you raise your kid? You raise them to be your replacement. Yeah, okay.

I'd like him to be Christian. All right. I guess I'll raise Christian. But yeah, man. Yeah, that's interesting, dude. It is. Well, I got a hot question for you. You ready?

I'll answer you the way. Sean, there's a video out there. A lot of my audience. scene. Your ring camera catches a guy at your house in Vegas. You grabbed a pistol, one out into the street, and the whole thing ends up online. Take me back to that moment from the second you saw him on that camera to the decision to go outside and what was actually going through your head. So a back story, not backslore, but another story to like how to describe what I am. And you're the same way. You're the same fucking way. I'm driving. I'm on the phone with Nina.

my good friend, we're CUC, and this homeless guy walks in front of me, and I'm driving way too fucking fast, slam on the brakes, fucking throws his bike in front of him, throws his bike in front of me, I roll down the window, I can't go forward because there's a bike in front of me. I pull out my gun, I put in my hand, because I don't know if this fucking homeless guy's a gun, a knife, and try to stab me. I really not have to fucking draw from like sitting, you know. So I'm like saying with the gun on my hand and he gets something, rolls down the window,

fuck you, fuck you, I'm just like, hey, you got a fuck problem, dude. you know and he puts his hands up and he walks away and then nina was like Sean you realize that you're on a car you could have just drove away I was like I guess I could have I was like I guess yeah I guess you could just I guess you I don't think I would never walk away from a conflict like I just don't like to me if there's ever this who's in the car with you no I was on the phone with Nina talking about it and like she's on the phone hearing me have this conversation pulling out a gun and like hey be good

And now mind you had no weapon, no knife. So I just like, once he seen the gunny backed away. But it's like, but, uh, like, so Nina was like, why didn't you just drive away? You're in a car. I'm like, Nina, I just don't think like that. Like, I am sure you the same way. If there's a problem, you're not thinking like, I'm going to go this way. Like, I'm a grown-ass fucking man.

I'm not going to go this way. This is where I'm going. So back to the, just to understand my mindset, right? saying that I get a ring alert and there's some guy like hiding like not hiding but I thought he was trying to steal my truck which is the really shitty trucked I don't want him

but I like it so I thought he was trying to steal my truck so I told my girl like wait inside I grabbed my I think it was a sig I think it was a sig I think it was a the smaller 3, 6, 5 so I go out there

and I'm like hey what the fuck are you doing he gets up and he like you know you see the video and he was just a weak pathetic man like he was so fucking weak so pathetic like at that moment you're like there's no threatening thing about you like you're not a threat there's nothing wrong with you so he starts walking like no no like wait dude and then a security car a security comes up and says stop that guy so now it's like i'm assuming that this guy did something fucked up or very bad and like he's trying to be arrested so now i'm like well okay

So I walk out and he keeps walking. I just shove him down. I point a gun at him and I'm like, you know, wait. Turns out he beat up his sister. They're at a liquor store. He beat the fuck out of the sister. And then the sister jumped out of the car. He drove his car, hit a hit something, had a flat tire,

parked right outside my house and was hiding between my truck. I thought he was trying to steal my truck, but that was a real story. So I go on there and the security. security guards start selling me like no he beat the hell out of his girl he just crashed his car and i'm i'm on the phone with cops right now so i'm like hey you're not leaving dude just wait for the cops to come and then the cops are like you know we're really busy and i just let him go and we have his name and information we has a warrant she has to turn himself in tomorrow and i'm like all right hey you're free to go dude enjoy your night holy shit yeah just beat the shit out of

his sister and they're like yeah let him it's Vegas man it's fucking Vegas a shithole. So he comes back later that night with his wife and I was wife's with him. And I just see because I look out the window and he's clearing beer bottles out of his car. So if cops come, so he goes and cleans all the alcohol, drives away, comes back the next day with his fucking daughter. And that's why I blurred his face because I was like, you know, I don't want to like, I blurred your face once you came back with your kid. So he's like, and he's like a white trashed fucking delinquent. He's trying to, he can't change his fucking tire on the car that he wrecked to drive out of there. So he's with his daughter and I'm like, this is so fucked up. So I walk outside.

I'm like, hey, dude, I'm the guy that put a gun to your head the other day. I'm like, you need some help. And so I changed the guy's tire with him, met his daughter, met his kid, changed his tire for him, shook his hand and said, hey, man, wish he the best. And then I drove away. I know what happened but it's like yeah that was a weird fucking day again I don't I don't hate anybody I mean you're a piece of shit

but again what is the common denominator you're drunk you're fucking drinking like I can't expect like there's this guy um it's a big thing big controversy Dustin point

right that's lame but he's UFC champion oh yeah you guys you guys have some history don't you yeah I made fun of him but I make fun of everybody like he went out

and said like I was depressed and like I was like get the fuck out of here bro you're depressed like you're a rich you're a rich fucking white man and then a friend of a friend was like hey you're kind of that was kind of fucked up and so I was like oh dude maybe I what maybe maybe maybe I overstepped so I go and I called us in I'm like hey man or I text I'm like hey man hey sorry dude like I was like I don't think you're the kind of guy that gives a fuck but I was just making a joke I was just being me and it turned out like he was really fucked up over it like he was really fucked up over it he's like like yeah dude I'm like I was in a bad place I drank on a plane I embarrassed my fucking family like forever I'm you know what do you say he said uh it was good do you really

I mean he gets a pass he said it gonna be a bad he said to a black cop but he gets the past nobody cares and I was like man I just like I thought it was great dude I'm like I'm that's my new I say that all the time like I I didn't mean that but he was really turned up by it and then I don't think it matters but I think Bud Light's gonna release him and he kind of hinted to like he's a sponsored athlete by Bud Light and it made me so fucking mad

it made me so fucking mad like, you buy me Bud Light I'm gonna get a call from the fucking UFC why are you talking shit on Bud Light? So Bud Light already fucking betrayed America with their fucking Tran Tranny on beer can

Yeah, but then you know I was like whatever I would never drink that shit ever ever So but I was like Like the little, yeah. So they go and they sponsor the UFC. I'm like, you know, man, at least they're trying. Like, they're fucking trying to redempt.

They're trying to go in the man category. They're not pushing this gay shit anymore. Yeah, because of the financials. Yeah. But going forward, this is where, like, I kind of like lost my shit with Bud Light again. It's crazy how they bought everybody out overnight. Yeah. I remember people shooting them with machine guns.

And the next day, they're drinking Bud Light on Rogan. Yeah. Yeah, so. Yeah, you got a soul. Yeah. Yeah, no, I mean, how fuck? I mean, money's money. So I talked to Dustin and he kind of hinted that like they're going to terminate his contract because he got fucked up on a plane.

And I was like, how much of a piece of shit are you, bud light? Like you take a guy. You want to say he's an alcoholic. He's in a bad place. He uses your product. He is a Bud Light. He is the American. And the moment something bad happens where like you kind of get a little egg on your face.

so like you get a little shame because you got drunk on a plane and try to fight a black cop which is fucking funny he's not racist you you like you want to terminate his contract like what but light should have done that should be the PR they should have reached out to Dustin and say hey Dustin man you're not doing well you might have a problem with drinking we're a beer company we sponsor you but like can we help you can we can we help you like we want to help you as a beer company as American as an American company I know you guys do the commercials of the American flags and like the pool parties. Let us kind of help you.

Do you need anything? That's not what they did. They're going to say, oh, you fucked up. You used our product. And you fucked up. Get the fuck lost. We don't want that bad image. And, you know, I always say, like, I don't drink.

I never have drink, nor will I drink. I just, I don't have the person on it for it. I think Bud Light spent $6 billion in the last 40 years of marketing. and like their level of marketing it's like and I don't want to say but light you can say every beer company I'm just using this because they're the one that's going to drop dust and it like irks my soul but they did it man

they sold you the American way that like you're you know cowboy on a horse a game and this and that but like I don't fucking have that fulfilling every time I seen a beer can or a beer bottle as a kid there was no like this is this is not going to be a good day for me yeah like when my dad walked inside the house with a fucking pack of beer like I didn't look at that beer can

like this is America I want to go watch a football game and be happy I'm like oh damn I'm fucked I guess it's gonna be a fucking he went with a fucking 24 pack instead of a 12 pack like it's gonna be a fuck night for me so I don't have the I don't have like that kind of relationship with alcohol for me

I think alcohol is fucking poison it's like it is like the worst thing it is poison yeah it's like again I'm a liberty town I think should be illegal but it's Like, even with Dustin, you know, I'm happy to acknowledge that it is fucked up. But, I mean, it's just so easy when you're having a bad day. And I think about it all the time.

Like, I don't do drugs, but, like, I want to do drugs so fucking bad. Like, I'll have a bad day. And I just, like, I'm around my friends that drink. And I'm like, man, if I just go get high right now, like, all my, like, my urges, desires could just vanish. And I'm just going to be a happy fucking idiot for a night. Like, that sounds so fucking nice. I get it. I just know that, like, where that fucking leads.

And alcohol always leads. For the most part, if you have, if you're one of the many Americans that have the demons, it leads a very fucked up road. Just stay away from it. Yeah. It's good advice, man. So I fucking, I don't even know how we got talking about Dustin and Bud Light, but, uh. We were talking about you going after somebody saw in the ring camera.

Oh, yeah, about alcohol. And then I was going to ask you what your everyday carry is. Oh, yeah, no, I got the, uh, I got the SIG, man. Not a none of 320, dude. I actually, I got the SIG 365 AXG, all metal. Best, best carry gun. The thing is, like, I will say when I, when I carry,

so you carry a SIGM's, what do you carry? Yeah, I carry, I like the 365. It depends where I go. Around here, where I live, I carry the, the 365, the OG one. Subcomptial. Yeah, subcompact one. if um yeah ain't nothing if i'm if i'm driving you know if i'm somewhere else you fucking memphaird it's a little more yeah it's something different than i like carrying the

365 macro or the legion which same thing you carry a spear mag with you oh fuck yeah oh do you really oh he's one of those guys yeah i don't carry a spare bag i should but i'm usually like when i carry dude i'm like in jim shorts i'm just like and i have like the clip on holster i don't do the gun belt. I mean, if I'm cruising around, you know, doing, if, if I'm out traveling, going through town, you're just, are you, are you a, are you a, a Sieg shield, or do you actually believe the product? Dude, I've just told you, I carried it a long time. I've got videos of me carrying it way before I became, um, way before I started my partnership. No, I think it's the best guy. They don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't, they don't,

they don't see it's the best gun. Yeah. Glock's, I find very uncomfortable to like, to carry. I just, and then like, you know, SIG has more capacity for the same package. The only good thing about a Glock is that when I do like a Glock 19, I present very well. Like for something about that big blocky thing, I just, when I grab it,

I present so well because like the way it's shaped. But I hate fucking caring it because you're carrying this big blocky thing that's just, I'm fucking fat, dude, I'm just killing myself. The SIG to me is by far the best carry gun. I'll be,

I'm glad you asked me if I'm a SIG shill. Because everybody calls me a SIG show. But I'll even tell you about my partnership. We started. I own a 320. Yeah. We, we, we, no, I was. So I, before I started this, I was on the firearms industry, you know, I was a tactical trainer.

And, um, train Keanu Reeves for John Wick. Oh, no, shit. Yeah. I had that genesis shotgun. Really great shotgun. And, uh, I have one in there. I've been shot at. Oh, dude, it runs great.

You can run birdshot through it. It runs great. You know what I mean? Maybe we should bust that out when we go to the ranch today. But anyways, I couldn't get a gun spot. I could not get a firearm sponsorship no matter what. And I was reviewing the SIG 365. It got like, I don't know, a couple million views.

Couldn't get anything. Then I started this and got a partnership with SIG. Dude, they're just a fucking awesome company, man. And, you know, they came on and I was like, hey, I don't do exclusive stuff. Like, I like a lot of different guns. and I'm going to shoot guns, and I'm going to post other guns. And I like your stuff a lot too. But I was like, I'm just not going to be an exclusive person.

And I want to be able to shoot what I like to shoot. And but I do carry your stuff and I do own your stuff and I love your stuff. And I carry a SIG-226 in the SEAL teams. Totally cool with that, dude. They're like, yeah, do whatever. But the only controversy SIG had was the 320. But even the 320, like, mind you, would I carry a 3-20? I don't know if I'd carry a 320.

Would I have one next to my bed with a can on it? Maybe. But they don't run well with cans. I have one. But every time you watch the videos of the 320 going off, it's like there's always some level of like, oh, well, this is not the right holster I put it in. Like there's always some level of like questionability.

Well, the last thing, the last thing that happened, and I don't know all the stuff behind this, but there was an army. There was an Army guy or an Air Force person or whatever that was shot and killed. Yeah, but then his-in-do-do. And so they used the narrative that the 320 was going off all by itself. Yeah. You know what I mean?

They used that narrative to try to clear the kid used it. Like he used the narrative to his advantage. Hold on. I was on it. And then they did the investigation and the kid picked up the fucking gun and pulled the trigger and shot his friend. But the narrative's getting used against them. I got you a present.

Oh. But wait, wait, let me finish that. Go ahead. So touch you on that, this is why, like, I kind of had to come to Jesus' moment with Sig, and I had to kind of, like, readdress it. Because I was the same way. When I heard that story, not only that, I was kind of like, fuck you, Sig. I got mad at sick because I was like, because I carry a Sig.

I have, like, fucking five Sig guns, dude. So I kind of got mad at it, and I kind of jumped on the fucking Sig hate bandwagon. And then once the real story came out, I'm like, man. I just shit post Sig for like fucking months and it turns out this like guy shot himself. So I think even in the videos you're like they're always weird, you know? It's like oh, they're reholstering on a holster that's not made for the gun.

Like it's just very weird and I think because it's such a common gun. So if there's any video of this going off because someone putting a gun, I mean it's probably one of those fucking popular guns. But just by proxy in video you're going to see that. But yeah, no, I'm just fuck with you. I fuck with sick. I own six. I like fucking Sig.

I'm glad you brought it up. But, um, anyways, let me grab it. Grab this for you. Got a couple of gifts for you. Oh,

shit. So, uh, you know what this is? Uh, you look excited, Sean. Well,

it's the, uh, this thing. It starts with the S, right? What's it called? This is the SIG 300 blackout Rattler.

Yeah, the fucking rattler, dude. It's got a collapsible stock here. Folding stock, I mean, flip up irons. It's got Sigs new,

Um, optic, which I forget the name of, sorry, Sig Flashlight and Sig Suppressor. So, um, you want to test this out? Oh, my God. Oh, man, I'm a left for you, but I'm going to left for you. Are you really? I really appreciate the Andy safety. And, uh, nice. Now, I can't afford to shoot 300 blackout.

Oh, uh, touch the microphone. Now, I can't afford to shoot 300 blackout, but, you know, I think it's clean. Well, uh, maybe your rich white in-laws will buy us some 300 blackout to go with. Or maybe SIG will be extra generous and just send you something. Yeah, I see, hook it up, man. I mean, at this point, you know. Yeah, I got my buddy Jason over there. I told him you were coming on, he got all excited.

And I'll tell you another badass thing about SIG is, so the Sheriff's Department that's just to the west of here, they have a horrible budget. They have like a $3 million budget to run the entire department. I'm friends with somebody that works over there, and he was telling me the guns they're running. telling me the guns they're running. And he's like, dude, we got like these old ass, like, I don't want to destroy any companies here, but this company upper, the barrels are shot

out, different lowers. And he's like, we don't have any optics. And he's like, guys are starting to ask if they could just run their own stuff and they don't want us to. Dude, I got pissed. I was like, I can't fucking believe they're sending. And they don't have a choice. They have no funding. You know, $3 million for the whole fucking department is nothing. It costs more than that to run this. And so I was like, I can't believe this shit. So I just, I was like, I'm going to outfit this department myself, if I have to.

And I called Jason up at Sig. And I was like, hey, dude, this is the deal. I was like, can you guys, even if you just give it to me a cost. And so me and Sig are going in together. We're going to split it. And we're going to outfit that entire SWAT team with brand new rifles and optics. And another badass thing about that company is, are you familiar with the Roblox shit? Have you heard of Roblox?

No. So Roblox is a game where all these predators are hanging out of road. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I know somebody. Yeah, no, that game should be banned. Yeah. So I brought this kid in Schlep. That's his framed thing over there, is Momson.

And anyways, Schlepp kind of unveiled the whole roadblocks thing on what was going on. And so one of the things they did is they recreated, this fucking game, recreated all the active shooter school shooting events and put them in the game. Not only did they do that, they put the victims that were killed. Like remember all the kids that were killed at Sandy Hook? They put the names of the kids over the kids. So you enter the classroom and murder the kids. They recreated the scene and they were using Sig weapons. So I got that to Jason too and I said,

hey, I just want you guys to know I did this episode and they're utilizing your weapons in that fucking game. Sig got their legal involved, went out to Robux and they pulled the shit out immediately. So regardless of whatever you hear about them, you're fucking awesome, awesome, awesome company. I have the 20 The GTO By the way, have you shot the GTO yet? Oh yeah.

2011? Oh my God. I think it runs so great. It really one of my I say the GTO is a pleasure to shoot. I mean, it's fucking flat. It's nice.

I got that. I got 320. I got like a few 3, 6, 5. I got the Sig Cross. Nice. Yeah, I mean, and speaking to the Sig Cross, yeah, I can never figure out

to fucking close these things. No worries it. Wait, let me figure this out. Because the same mechanism is that you ever shot was like the cross. Yeah, we got one in there. Yeah, you like, you push down. Oh, God damn it. How did you fucking close this? Here, let me show you.

And every time I grab my stick, did I push this down? Oh, yeah, I get this on. I'm just folded this damn thing. Oh, there you. So again, you guys, I got to see, you got if I can give you advice, you got to fix this mechanism because everybody that has a sick cross when they go to Fold it, they always fuck with it.

Nottie, but this is a beautiful gun. Hey, sick, thank guys. I fuck with the guys. Do you want to shoot me some ammo for this thing? Let me know. Preferably subsonic. What do you think about that? Hey, wait, but I can ask you a question.

I got to ask you, because the gun guys will love this. What do you think about throwing a blackout? This is, like, the debate, bro. This is the gun debate. What do you like throwing a blackout? I mean, dude, I don't, if I like... What's your nightstand gun? What's my gun?

Nightstand gun? Yeah. It's a pistol. It's a 9mm pistol, the Sig Macro. Okay. You don't, you know, okay, you don't do any rifle next to the room? And then I got, I got another one, the Sim, the Sig MCX spear, which I'll show, I'll bring it out. Wait, do you have a, do you have a rifle by you?

It's 300 blackout. It's 300 blackout. Dude. Yes. Okay. So you, wait. You've seen the, the armory here? So you do, wait, you do 300 blackout?

I do 300 blackout. Here's why. Do you do subsonic or suponic? I don't think it matters. I have both, but I find that just regular, not subsonic, runs better. I always get jams with the subsonic, no matter what 300 black. Is your gun, do you have the suppressed, your rifle in the room? Yeah, suppressed.

What do you have? I do just, I'm a PSA guy, do my PSA's in my budget. Caliber, though. It is 223, AR-15, and then I have- Yeah, I do 300 blackout because of the penetration. And then I have my nightstand gun. Because I told you about what happened with the green tip, right? And so 223 is going to fly through the human, fly through the wall, go through the next wall and potentially going to my son or daughter's room, right?

With the 300 blackout, once it hits the flesh, it's not going to have enough penetration to keep going. And so... This is a new nightstand gun then. Right. But I carry the PSA AR-15. I do 11 inches. And then I also carry the GTO is my hand. gun. Nice. I mean, it's such a nice

gun. Guys, if you ever want to get a 20-11, dude, even for the cost, like, it's such a good cost entry for that level of gun. I don't really fuck with Cicado. I just think they're kind of gay. There's something about Cicado's here. I'm just like, every time you see a cicado guy, I own Cicados, but it's like, they're just kind of

fucking gay. And then, like, the guys that... Why do you think they're gay? And then the guys that shoot Stacotos, dude, like, they're just fucking dildos. Like, so in the motorcycle world, there's, like, Ducati's like there's always like I'm the Ducati guy and it's like you have like guns are marginally different so like people that get

Cicados they get so wrapped up in the name and the pistol it's like dude you're just gay like you're like a fucking European dude like you're just fucking gay so I just like I can't fuck with Cicado I mean they're a little do you tell me scotid I don't think it's gay I don't think it's gay yeah but you know also too people need understand like everybody picks aside with guns you guns are so marginally different. It's a tool.

Like even when you're talking to handguns, where they're talking about a Hellcat? I think the Hellcat's a little bit too snappy. I'd be a fan of the Hellcat. They're the Glock. We're the Sig. Dude, there's just marginally fucking different. And people are so tribalized.

We're like, oh, yeah, dude, I carry a a Sig. Oh, you fucking loser. Oh, I carry a Glock. Like, oh, you fucking loser. Your Sig's in a jam. Like, if there is a, if there's a team, someone's going to pick it and they're going to

fucking hate you for not being on a team. I'm not that. way, dude. I like, as than Sicado. Other than Sicado, dude. I like, I like all guns. I have Sig. I have Smith & Wesson. Like, same with motorcycles. I have

fucking Harley. I have Indian. I've Kelsaki. I have Yamaha. Like, you know, I'm just, I'm not tribal. I've never really been like a tribalistic kind of guy. Do what makes you happy. Yep. Yep. Yep. Just don't point in my face.

Yep. I got going. Here's another thing. Vigilentally Gummy Bears. in the USA, not weed gummies, just candy. And then I got one other thing for you. Gummy bears, but I got to try one of these. So, talking about God and all this other stuff, right? I want to give this to you. You read? No, read. I'll read if it matters. Well, what is today? It's a book called The Jesus Calling. You read one thing a day, super short,

takes no time. I will read. I read it at the end of the day. And a lot of times, I feel like it's talking about what happened that day. Maybe you get something out of it. Maybe you don't. I'll say what. Every night I'll read a page starting tonight.

But yeah, no, I mean, you know, speaking of my God, man, I cannot tell you the respect to have Christianity. It's like it's one of the greatest gifts that we've had on this planet is like the gift of Christianity. And like when it's used correctly and it's used and the way it's intended, anything could happen. Bam, I appreciate you, dude. Appreciate you, man.

You've got a huge heart. I can tell. I'm kind of a pussy, but it's been an honor, man. I mean that. No matter where you're watching the Sean Ryan show from, if you get anything out of this at all, anything, please like, comment, and subscribe. And most importantly, share this every one.

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