Shawn Ryan Show - #343 Jimmy Watson - John McAfee's Bodyguard Reveals the Dead Man's Switch

Episode Date: September 28, 2026

Jimmy Watson is a former Marine, Blackwater contractor, Navy SEAL, and former head of security, CEO, and close confidant to John McAfee. He joined McAfee’s inner circle in 2017 and experienced firsthand the legal turmoil, paranoia, and instability surrounding him. After leaving that world and battling addiction and personal loss, Watson returned to his Christian faith and now speaks about faith, purpose, and helping others out of destructive cycles. Shawn Ryan Show Sponsors: Privacy Isn't Paranoia. It's Protection. Download Glacier - https://srs.site/glacierapp Ready to upgrade your life? Head to bubsnaturals.com/srs and use code SHAWN for 20% off Get $10 off your first order at https://ponchooutdoors.com/shawnryan when you enter your email. One thing to pack, five ways to power! Get 10% Off @Ridge with code SRS at https://www.Ridge.com/SRS #Ridgepod Jimmy Watson Links: Instagram - https://www.instagram.com/MightyWarrior282 YouTube - https://www.youtube.com/@MightyWarrior282/videos Book - https://a.co/d/0jgr1NJP Mighty Warrior Performance - https://mightywarriorperformance.com Linktree - https://linktr.ee/Mightywarrior282 Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

Don't you wish you could just hit skip on the worst parts of your life? You know, the same way you can skip an ad? I get it. I'm Siaya and I live in Ice Cove. I've made some questionable decisions that didn't end up the way I planned. And today, I'm still figuring it out. Somehow things usually get worse before they get better. Apparently, that's how I roll.

So bundle up and come along for the bumpy ride. Stream a new episode of North of North Tuesdays on CBC Gem. You know, because I've kind of done the part of the search. circuit and that this is on another level. Oh, thank you, dude. Everything. Well, got a killer team, awesome team, and it wasn't always like this, though. Right.

It started off in the attic. Yeah, that's what he was telling me, your guy, man. He said, this happened. You were just sending hard drives? Dude, before that, it was me and my wife. And I was sitting here running sound while I was interviewing. And my wife, we had these cameras that would only record 30 minutes. at a time. And so my wife would run back and forth and reset the cameras, depending on who's talking.

My girl was such, she goes, Sean Ryan, she goes, how he becomes like this, how he do it? Well, how he do it? You know, like, she talks like that. I'm like, how he do it? Like, you mean, how is he like a million? How do he become successful? I said, he, he's got a badass show, and he's super intelligent, smart about it in your marketing and everything. There's a lot that goes into it. And also you got in. I'm sure the timing is good too, but I don't know. Well, I don't know, man, probably. You got in a while a long time. I just, when I did it, I was like, I'm going to, I'm just going to do it different than everybody. Everybody had a purple curtain, you know, the Joe Rogan curtain. Yeah. And everybody had the

headphones. You're right. I was the first one to come on here. And I was like, I'm going to learn how to edit. I'm going to do previews as promotional pieces. Nobody was doing that. Nobody had like a set like this where there was not a mic shoved in your face and headphones. And so I just wanted to make it very relaxed. Yeah. I mean, and so now like everybody's doing it, which is great. You know, lifted the whole industry. Right. I told myself, I was like, you know, I'm going to tell Sean, just, I know you've been lied to a lot. So my, my number one goal is just not to lie. today. You know what I'm saying, brother?

Thank you. So try to eliminate some of that. You know, like, because I saw your interview, man, I laughed so hard. I can't imagine. Yeah. I should have expected it. Well, I, my biggest mistake in life, I think, is my trusting nature to me. Yeah.

Characteristic is to trust people, latch on to people quickly and become friends and a chameleon kind of. Like, oh, yeah, we're best friends now. And I mean it. It's authentic, but man, it's crushed me. I know what you made. You know, McAfee, John McAfee, he once told me, he said, son, you could be a billionaire. He goes, but you got one problem.

He said, you could be such a good businessman. I said, sir, you name it, and I will kill it right now because I want that success. You name my problem, and I'll get rid of it. I swear to God, he goes, I'm sorry, son, there's no getting rid of this one. And I said, tell me, and I'll get rid of it. And he says, no. And I said, what did it? He said, it's your heart.

He said, that's what's going to get in the way. And you won't become, it's as successful as you could be. And he was right, because I have these loyalty things still. And I'm better at it now. But once he said, you know, your biggest problem, Jimmy? I said, what, sir? He could look right through you and tell you about your whole life. He said, you lift people on a pedestal so high.

so far above you that eventually you can't hold it anymore and they just fall on you and crush you and I mean that was pretty much what I did in my ex-wife I would hold people and that's what McAfee did to me he did that what's up he would he would he cared about people McAfee care he was very untrusting and he didn't trust anybody even his own wife because because she came to him if you came to He couldn't trust you. She was a prostitute in Miami right when he came back from Belize from being on the run. He sat down and she approached him with her friend.

And he said, what are you two women up to tonight? And they said, well, we've come to Rob Old White Richmond. And he says, okay, you can stay because you told me the truth. And your friend could leave. And so everybody came to him, even in Green Beret security guards, were able to contact him and stuff. So I was the only one that he reached out. too. I didn't know him. He reached out to me. And that's where, and so the trust, so no matter what,

no matter how paranoid he got about me, no matter if he called me a spy, no matter if he saw me take a letter from somebody outside, even if it's the long bill, he couldn't, he had, that's the one thing he, that I was different was that I had never approached him. And I would remind him of that. I said, sir, you reached out to me, so he'd be like, fair enough. Do you still think that little piece of advice is true that you won't find extreme success because you're a good person because you have a heart because you lift people up because you care about people? I'm afraid so. Really? You think that? I mean... How do you define success? Yeah, how do we define, how do I define success? I think success for me is lighting the things.

torches of other people and getting my charge from that. If I can really, if I can actually change somebody's life with my story or the lighthouse mission of mine, then that will charge me up, right? But, but in let's get real success to me right now is, I mean, we'd be making millions of dollars, you know, the American, like the, what everybody wants, right? There's still that in me. Yeah. I've made millions of dollars before and totally crashed and burned, ruined it.

I've had opportunities, Sean, opportunities of a life, and I've ruined them. So this time, I told God, this time, if or when you decide it's time again, I'm going to do it your way. Because Jimmy's way is a road to hell. I think he could still find all that and be a good person. 100 because yeah you know yeah well maybe he's made billions i don't know what the guy was worth to be honest what was he worth maybe maybe people call him a billionaire but he probably he sold uh macfee for 700 million to uh yeah 700 million so between all the investments and stuff afterwards i'm sure he probably hit the the billion mark i don't know you know what i mean i think it's a longer

path like just and i'm nowhere even even in that realm ballpark i don't know shot i've seen your setup sean i know but but i do well but it it's i just think it's a longer road man i mean when i started this i never made it about me you know what i mean it was always about somebody else and i saw everybody's business that i brought on just race right past mine because of my business you know what i mean right and um i mean they were able to take you it and run, you know what I mean, and develop something massive. But a lot of them never would have got the exposure if it wasn't for this, you know, and I used to just think to myself, like, what am I doing wrong here?

I'm paying in time and my money and in my heart and soul, you know what I mean, to lift these other guys up who came, who would never get this type of exposure. And, but I knew I was doing a good thing. And I knew they deserved it. You know what I mean? And I loved doing it. And I still do. It still get way more out of that than the financial aspect.

But I just knew I was like, if I just keep doing it, if you just keep pumping enough good into the world, it's going to come back around. And it took about, what, two, two, three years. And it came back around. Well, it came back around. Huge. You got the number one show or number two show, bouncing back and forth? Yeah, we're on top five. That's crazy. But, so I don't know, man, just keep that in mind. I'm sure screwing everybody over and not having a heart and no feelings and all that kind of stuff. I think it's a much faster track, but I think it leads to a empty soul,

which isn't success anyways. Right. It's a fast track. But one thing at, Tommy Sean was forgiveness. I had to walk through a tremendous amount of forgiveness of my ex for taking a ton of Bitcoin and money and all kinds of stuff. And, you know, think about every time Bitcoin goes up, right? It's at a huge dip right now. But when it goes up, I had, like, I had like 100 Bitcoin at one time. Like, I had a hundred Bitcoin.

Brother, I had, brother, I'm not joking when I talk about money, you know, and I had so much. And so every time Bitcoin goes up, can you imagine? I have zero now. Can you imagine, like, the feelings of that? But so that's where I walk out that forgiveness piece, but God taught me some lessons. McAfee taught me lessons and that I take into my life now that's created success. I consider success. And those, and there's been a lot of life lessons, you know.

Well, bad. You know? Well, bad. So you had a book, you're writing a book. But yeah, it's been like a, look what happened. And so I got my story out there and one of these big publishing companies picked it up, a major one, two words, something and something. I won't put it their name out, but they offered a big advance for my story. And I needed it, Sean.

I don't have the Bitcoin anymore. I don't have the money. So I need it. I got my little baby. This is just a couple years ago. And I said, okay, okay. And my agent was like, it's going to happen. But it was about to be sent.

They said they just need one little change to your story. they need to tweak you a little bit. I said, okay, let me know. I'll hit the delete button. And they said, well, it's kind of the part about Jesus, how he met you. And I said, no deal. I said, no deal.

I said, I guess I'll have to write this sucker on my own. Why? They always want that out. They want it out because it's the truth. They want the truth out to keep us guessing and keep us distorted and disillusioned. It'll probably be that much bigger. Well, that's why it's only $9.

because I wrote against. Hold fast, man. But I mean, they did it to Mel Gibson. Yeah. The passion. You know, nobody would fund him. Nobody would fund the guy. You know, everybody, they went after him, all those attacks, everything. They'll never watch it.

Like, just discouraged him and tried to destroy them. And then the movie wound up breaking the wreck. It was like, what, $600 million movie or something? The passion? Yep. And it hasn't been broken until. I think it's just been the last couple years. It was undefeated with inflation for like 20, I think it's like 20 something years.

My goodness. You know what I mean? Dang. And they all self-funded. I remember. It's just self-published. Yeah, I'm doing self-published. And no, I don't know what I'm doing most of the time.

But I know how to tell a story at least and I can put it on paper. And my wife has been really encouraging to do it. She said, Jimmy, you got to get this story. You got to get your story out to people. But I always said, Sean, if you're going to, if a book is going to come out, somebody else needs to write about you, Jesus, Hitler, Gandhi, Martin Luther. If you're that important, McAfee, baby, if you're that important, somebody writes a book about you.

You don't write a book about yourself. So this is not a book about myself. It may seem like a little bit, but that's just to tell the breadcrumbs. to the redemption. Cool. What's this coming out? December 21st. Oh, it's coming this year?

People can pre-order it, but it's coming out this year, December 21st. Right on, man. All right on. Well, we're going to do somewhat of a live story on you right here. Yeah, man, I'm so excited. And, Sean, I realize you could have anybody on this show, DT, big Donald Trump. And so when your awesome team called me and gave me this offer, I said, he said, well, do you have some time available?

Like I'm real busy, right? And I went, let me check my schedule, you know. And I'm like, I will go there tonight in my underwear to go on Sean Ryan's show. As I, I mean, because I've been praying for an opportunity to get to a story out on a, you know, a larger scale. Well, one, I'm glad you brought some clothes with you. No underwear to do. It's not a half of here, man. Surely.

Thank you, Sean. All right. So I'm going to give you an introduction here. Jimmy Watson, you're a former Marine Blackwater contractor, Navy SEAL, and former head of security, CEO, and confidant to the technology icon John McAfee. In 2017, after years of war, covert operations, addiction, and personal loss you entered McAfee's world and quickly became part of his inner circle, living through the paranoia, constant movement, and legal chaos surrounding him. After leaving McKayee and reaching the darkest point of your life, you found your way back to God. Today, you use that experience to help guide others towards faith, purpose, and a way out of their own darkness. And most importantly, obviously, you're a Christian, a father, and a husband.

Yes, sir. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Sean. Thank you, everybody. So before we get started here, we've got a couple of things to crank out here. One. Everybody gets these. Vigilance League gummy bears.

Vigilance Elite gummy bears. All right. Made in the USA. So, yeah, when I was in my attic, this is great, man. Who couldn't get any advertisers? Nobody would touch me. Nobody would talk to me.

But now. So we made vigilance league gummy bears to sell. Dang, man. And they were wildly successful, and we started a Patreon account. And what's all in this? What if I eat them all at one time? What will happen tonight in my hotel room?

You'll get a sugar hive. That's not. That's your sugar high. Yeah. Nothing crazy. Yeah, this is great. Thank you, Sean. And then we got a Patreon account.

So, as I was saying, they've been with me since the beginning when I was in the attic. And they've been with us the whole time. And so they're the reason that I get to sit down with you here today. And so they get the opportunity to ask every single guest to question. I love this. So this is for Michael. Our constitutional system begins with a simple premise. Governmental power ultimately derives from the people.

So if you had the opportunity to speak from the heart to every American today, what would you impart to us about your own civic responsibility to turn this ship around together by majority and actually become the change we keep demanding outside of ourselves? Well, that's a good one. That's a good one. I would start by getting on your knees, and I don't mean to turn this into, my dad always said, you know, religion is the worst thing that happened to Christianity. Some remove religion out of it. I'm talking about a real, a real, no-joke, meet with Jesus.

We called it in the SEAL teams, remember? A guy would get in trouble, and you say, oh, dude, you're dumb, bro. You're meet with Jesus. He's having a meet with Jesus. And it was like, you know, like he kicked in the door at the Disneyland retreat because he was so drunk. He thought somebody took his family hostage, right? Well, you know, a meet with Jesus is when, for me, is when you kind of come to your senses and you come out of your own delusions of grandeur. And you go, God, just like my mom used to say, always pray, Jimmy, as you go on in your life.

And I wasn't religious. I wasn't following Jesus. She said, always pray that you won't be the self-deceived. So pray first that you won't be self-deceived. Even if you're not praying to your God, whatever, pray that you won't be self-deceived because we can be self-deceived to the point where we're so disillusioned. We're fighting online. We're fighting among our friends.

We're fighting amongst each other. There's these vet wars going on, all this weird stuff. And the whole time, there's the people up at the top laughing at us and going, good job. Keep it divisive. Anytime I see people fighting each other, anytime that I get involved in fighting. people. I'm like, dude, this is exactly what they want. The government wants us. Maccafee, you say the governor, it's the governor on your car from keeping you going faster. It's governing you. It's governing you. So here we are. We're divisive. Our nation is falling apart. We're in an

economic crisis and people don't really realize it, but you go to the grocery store. Men are feeling inadequate about themselves because they're like, why can't I be like this guy, why can't I have success? Well, it's not your fault. You're working your ass off. There's only so many hours in the day. The problem is the economy is destroyed. We're in an economic crisis and the crisis happens before the collapse. So I believe that every man must have a reckoning with God first and then straighten himself out or he is going to just be all over the place like I was for so many years, running amuck like a tornado coming out, hitting, destroying this, come back up, come over here, ruin this, you know, whatever, self-sabotage.

So getting right with ourselves first. I like that. I like that. It's a good answer to a deep question. Thanks. We're all getting older, and that's not the problem. The problem is when your body starts keeping you from doing the things you still. want to do. Like taking the best of your entire life. Training, traveling, long days, workouts,

recovery, it adds up. And at a certain point, you start feeling it more. Soar joints, slow recovery, knees that don't feel the way they used to. That's why I take Bubbs Natural's collagen peptides. Bubbs has been a longtime partner of the show and there's a reason I trust them. It's simple. It works into my routine. And it's it's a product I actually use. One scoop in my tea every morning. It blends in completely. No taste, no grid, nothing complicated. And that's what I like about it. It's easy to stay consistent with. And consistency is the point. I've been taking it for a while now and I genuinely notice the difference. My knees feel stronger. My skin looks better. I bounce back faster after workouts. And I enjoy every single

that I take. Part of why I trust Bubbs is how seriously they take the product. Their collagen is NSF certified for sport, source from grass-fed cattle, clean, tested, and exactly what they say it is. And there's more to this brand than the product. Bub's was founded in honor of Navy SEAL Glenn Bub Dordy. Ten percent of profits go straight to helping veterans transition into civilian life. So when you buy this, you're not just supporting your joints and recovery. You're backing the people who served. Ready to upgrade your life? Head to bubsnaturels.com slash SRS and use code Sean for 20% off.

All right, so let's get into your life story. You ready? I'm ready. All right. Where'd you grow up? I grew up in West Texas, Milshoe, M-U-L-E-S-H-O-E, M-E-L-H-O-E. I think Lee Horsley was from there. And, but my dad had a thousand acre farm.

A thousand acre farm. It was, I think it was almost 2,000, but I checked myself last night. I wanted to say a thousand, so it doesn't sound unbelievable. But it was, but it's dry land and an old farm in West Texas. And they're used to very these arrowheads, these flint in arrowheads and buffalo bones, maybe Indian bones. I don't know, out on this field every time the wind would blow. And so I had this incredible childhood growing up on this farm like just a, like the,

like the jungle book, that little guy, Mowgli or whatever. And I would camp by myself and I would dig holes out in the field with my little brother. And we would play army and war. We would make Molli Tauv cocktails. My dad let us run a muck. There's gasoline over here, tractor over here, drive around tractors. And all while, he was, it was kind of going bankrupt, the farm. It was the old Mileshoe Ranch.

There was Milchoo Ranch houses. The originator for the Bullwip lived there. inventing the board. Yeah. And so we would go around and burn up pieces of the old ranch house. I mean, this is like museum stuff. And we're over there just destroying everything. But that's where I really learned to shoot, which would help me out. And I can remember my dad rocking me when I was real little in the dark and he would tell me Bible stories.

And I didn't become religious. I wasn't following God. I was running from me most of my life. but those stories would play a major role in my life later on. He would talk about Joseph in the dungeon. And I would later on be able to kind of parallel my life to that in a way, not that I was in a dungeon for 13 years, but that kind of Monte Cristo story where you feel like you're being betrayed

and things are falling apart around you. You're crashed up against the rocks one moment. You're shining in the light the next moment. And so this childhood was, I was kind of sheltered in a way from the world. I didn't know how hard it was going to be, but I had a sense of God, I had a sense of duty to give back to God and sacrifice my life, perhaps, for a greater cause and go to war.

Even as a little boy, I understood this, as weird as that is. And maybe because my dad would sing the Green Beret song to me, he would play by Dings-old on the cassette. Serz in the sand, only three will win the Green Beret. And he used to look at me, and pointed me, like silver wings upon my chest stuff. And so I thought I was a warrior, Sean, from the time I was little. Did he have military experience?

He was a crop duster for years, a preacher, a judge, a Texas judge, and he was in the army during Vietnam, but he was never in Vietnam, during Vietnam, 68, 69, I think, for two years. And then he got out on a farming hardship. He said, Dad, get me out of here on a farmer's hardship. And so, but for some reason, he put this into me, and it was the right thing to do, it saved my life. Or I would have been such a wild kid because I didn't understand school. I wasn't picking up what the other kids were putting down.

I was inadequate. I didn't understand what they were saying, math, numbers. I didn't have any understanding of it. So eventually, they, at 14 years old, they, I left school. My dad pulled me out of school. Wow. At 14?

At 14, maybe 13. Yeah. Why'd you get pulled out of school? My dad just came in. Well, I had the record for detention hall. I had 99 days in detention. And you just sat there all day in detention. And, you know, they didn't know better back then.

And I had the record for swats, for spankans. They used to swat you in Texas. No kidding. With a freaking board this big from the wood shop. And I'm talking, drill your ass, Sean, so hard. It was the coach and the principal. He was the Texas high school coach and principal. And he would be, and wood shop teacher.

And he had a paddle like this. And I can't believe this is, it's even legal back then. But he would bend you over. And me and my little brother got in trouble once. And he said, bend over the thing. And you had those little silky track silks on. And he hit my brother so hard. He went into the locker head first.

And I busted out last. but it was so loud in that locker room when he hit him. I bust out laugh, laughing, but he hit me. And we had big old purple red welts on our legs, and we thought that was normal. And so eventually, my dad said, obviously, Jimmy, it just broke the school's record in detention and swats. Let's go ahead and figure something out for Jimmy.

Wow. School's not for him. What about your mom? Oh, my mom is this beautiful Coca-Cola model brand F-Swax. Brand F. stewardess brought to West Texas by my dad, deceived. My dad went on, my dad decided to put everything up, everything away. He was running a Comanchee lifestyle like I was, I think. And he said, you know, he gave it all to Jesus one day. And my mom did too at the same time, believe it or not.

They both gave everything up. I am talking about everything, Sean. And my dad literally went on a mission trip to end. India. He said it was the worst experience of his life, but he said, no, I'm giving everything up to God. Keep in mind, he was a successful pilot, crop duster. I mean, making big bucks back in the day. He had land. Everything. He gave everything up, gave his brand new Mustang to a disabled girl in church. And he went on a mission trip to India. And he said, and he was coming back sleeping. Remember Adam in the garden is sleeping when he wakes up? There's his wife. He comes back from a trip from India. Here's this beautiful stewardess. My mom working for Braniff. And back then, it was no joke.

It was hundreds and hundreds of women were looked at. And you had to keep a certain weight. And you had to be the most beautiful model-like girl. And my mom would never go up to him, but he was sleeping. And he just came off this terrible trip. He doesn't know why God's sending him this terrible mission to India. He said people were literally living in Dung. houses and he said he was coming back and he was sleeping and the preacher woke him up and said wake up

you know here's your wife your wife's coming down here and he said man do you know Jesus and he had a big red Bible and my mom was like well I just put everything up for him and I'm on this she was on a miserable trip they met and they've been married for 45 years no kidding wow beautiful relationship still still married today ill married today going hardcore Ben Strong. You close with them? I'm super close to them, Sean, because of what I went through. And they, uh, I wouldn't be here today. If it wasn't for them, literally in, you know, I wouldn't be here literally right now. If they didn't, uh, if they weren't so caring and didn't take me back in at, what, 38 years old when I was on the run, when I got, when I, when I was arrested,

they took me back into their house. on a $5 million promissory bond. Wow. And I always thought if I was, if I didn't have parents like that to take me in, I would have killed, I would have off myself so fast. I was so done with life. I would have easily taken myself out, but because of their love, I kept going on. Yeah, man.

We'll get to that point. Yeah, yeah. So your dad yanks you out of school. Yeah, my dad took me out of school. And my mom tricked me. My mom said, I've got a plan. I'm going to send Jimmy to the summer camp at 14 years old in Austin, Texas. And we're going to just tell him that's the summer camp.

But it was actually like a home, they called the Texas Bible Institute. And it was basically a place where these 40-year-olds and 30-year-old troubled men, in and out of prison, would come and stay and work. I like out of a work camp. And then the inner city kids would be busted from Houston at this big Bible college all summer and all year. And so they tricked me in and go on. Jim, you want to go to a summer camp? Oh, yeah.

I go there after a week goes by. I've been cleaning toilets. I mean, hardcore toilets. It's so miserable, Sean. I call my mom on this. No cell phones. I called her on the pay phone. And I was like, Mom, it's.

And it was hot. It's already hot in Austin, Texas. It's brutal in a laundromat, you know. Laundries going off. I said, it's been a week. You told me it's a week. Can you come get me? She goes, Jimmy, you're going to go ahead and stay there now for a while, okay?

I got to go. And I'm like, Mom, what? And this black kid came in. It was like, what's up? White honky, let's go. And it just started banging out right there, fight, you know, right off the bat. Didn't even hang up the phone. I end up, I end up cleaning a hundred to-old, about 100 toilets.

I always say 100 toilets, but, okay, let's say it was 50, let's say it was 80, 100, whatever. About 100 toilets a day, if I remember right. Holy cow. Four times a day. Four times a day? Morning, yeah, because they were busing in these, they were busing in these hundreds of, from Ninth Ward, Houston, these are the kids, trouble kids. and I mean, they're just, you know, just shitting on the walls and doing crazy.

Who, God only knows what. And just, and so I got it down to 45 seconds a toilet. So I could clean a whole toilet, I mean, from the top, to the bottom in 45 seconds. And I'm talking flush with the cloth going down in the toilet in 45 seconds. And I mean, that thing you could eat off that sucker, man. Wow. I had two big bottles. I was an expert at cleaning toilets.

And I was also running hard. night with a pack on like a buck 40 man it was really small guy it was six foot buck 40 and uh in no no athleticism like the coach my mom and dad begged the coach high school or the junior high coach to play me one time he said ma'am i would get kicked out of this school district if i played your son one time on this field so i'm training hard i get staff infection and bulls all over my body so it's kind of like a joe a picture of jove in the bible right where i'm suffering at such a young age in this camp for a year and a half at least, my mom and dad kept me there.

And I got to the point where I was feverish and I had boils, still got scars today on my arm and stuff from these boils. They would get real heavy and infected and even had one on the back of my head. And I really liked this girl. I saw this girl there. She was working there too. She was pretty. And she was sitting behind me.

And the one on the back of my head kind of went off, exploded, whatever, on the back and that was over after that you know you ain't never getting a date dog you clothes shop you know how old were you when you went to this place 14 years 14 years old turned 15 there have my birthday there and then 16 came around I was still there I think and then it was time to go to the Marine Corps to Marine Corps well I wanted to be a seal but it was so far out there remember I had no education really no normal no real foreign normal education. So, I mean, I'm just like, I'm winging it. I mean, I got a 17 on the ASVAP at 16 years old, a 17. You can't get any worse than that on an ASVAP. So it was really, it was really hurtful because I wanted to be a seal so bad.

I had read these books or a Green Beret or something, but my mind kind of shifted to be in a seal for some reason at some point. But it started out as Green Beret, my dad's saying the Green Bray, well, when I turn 16, I was able to get the best day of my life, I think was able to get my GED. So got my GD and then my parents signed me and I was the youngest recruit for probably the last, I mean, maybe 10, 20 years before that. You know, in Vietnam they had younger guys. But I mean, I mean, I'm 16, barely turned 17. Wow.

I didn't even know that was possible. Yeah. You can, you can, with your parent's signature, you can go in at 17. Wow. So you're in, you're a Marine Corps boot camp at 17 years old. That's 17 years old. What's your parents think? Were they happy that you were doing that?

They were so proud of me, Sean. Because, I mean, if you're a kid out, sometimes people say, well, Jimmy, don't you think it's not good for little Johnny to go to the Marine Corps or the military right now with all this stuff going on with Israel? Shut. What are you talking about? Like, if your kid is not going anywhere in life, like the banditos once told me, if you ain't got nothing else in this life going on.

You better put your kid somewhere, or he's a dead man anyways in this day and age. You know, but if they've got something going on, don't go to the military. That's my thing. What year was this? What year did you do? 99. 99. I signed in 98 and I joined 99.

Right on. Right on. So how was boot camp? How was Marine Corps? It was straight up hazing. It was just like full metal jacket. I couldn't believe it. Do you like it?

I hated it. Sean, it was terrible. I remember literally thinking in my head, Sean, I was like, well, at least they can't put their hands on you. And right when I thought that, and they're screaming, I've never heard guys scream like this. They were like, like, is in vain sticking out? And there are some of them, they're like, like a frog, you know,

because they're ruined their vocal cords. And I remember thinking, well, one, there's no way they can keep this tempo up. And number two, there's no way they can put their hands on you. so therefore I can make it through anything. Right when I thought that, I swear to you, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the, the general and sergeant McNulty, they, we called him McNulty. He turned around and he goes, who's the young guy's recruit in here?

And I go, just stupidly, just automatic response, I go, I am, because I knew I was. I said, I am drill and such a staff sergeant McDonulty. And he came over there and slug me in my soul, like right here in sternum. Yeah, sternum, and I buckled over. And I remember just, there was nothing left in my lungs. So I was like, oh, and I just go, and he goes, okay, huh. And, you know, and they kept that pace up, and they put their hands on us all the time. And that was two big mistakes I made early on in life.

What did you go in to do? 0-3-11, infantry, Marine. Nice. Oh, yeah. I picked away, you know. O-3-Eleven. And remember, there's no war. but I know I'm going to war in my mind.

I've got it all planned out. I even told my dad, he goes, Jimmy, wars are not fought. People have to remember, you know, 20 years ago, whatever, people didn't think we were going to war again. Yeah, Desert Storm and some other stuff. Anyways, my first deployments on the USS Tarwa, old ship. And a big old LHA carrier with the, you know, carries like 3,000 troops. All you do is, yeah, all you do is stand in line and chaw hall line all day.

And my first deployment was to USS when the USS coal got bombed. Oh, no kidding. Yeah, we happened to be going right by it, right by the Yemen Harbor, Aiden, Gulf of Aden. Literally, right when it happened, we were 20 miles away. And we just turned our entire force, our Mew. I think it was 15th view, maybe 35th, I can't remember. But we turned our Mew. And we got on the little black rubber boats.

We thought we were special, you know, with M16. and stuff and uh because I was in a platoon they called the dirty dozen and they had a stay attached to us the snipers and but we did circles around the that was my first experience with death the smell of death war like anything like that I remember seeing the hole in the side of the USS Cole and I thought we're going to war over this I thought damn no shit you were there huh was there the bodies. You recover the bodies. The divers recovered the bodies and we would put them into,

they would either put the parts in the, and I say this respectfully, put the parts in the body bag, and then we would pick it up, the body bag, put it into the boat and then carry it to shore and freezer trucks were there. And when they opened that door to the freezer trucks, man, it was so bad and there wasn't even any bodies in it. I don't understand that, but we stood at attention and we would carry this, these body bags would just kind of droop to the center because it was nothing but pieces of people, these 17 sailors. Shush. And I thought, Sean, I thought, man, this is terrible.

It was horrible. Something I've never experienced in my life at such a young age is my first real experience with it. And I thought, we're going to go to war over this. Something bad is going to happen with this. Damn. How long were you there for? How long did that?

Maybe 30 days. 30 days? 40 days. Because the Blue Marlin, they called him the Blue Marlin to come in. It was a massive ship and it had to sink down and go underneath the USS Cole and come back up. And the Blue Marlin towed it away. Interesting. Where do you go from here?

Go, keep doing the deployment. Go on from there. I can't remember where we went all over the place. And then we came back. And now this is about about nine months. Remember, less than maybe a year happens from the coal attack to 9-11. And I always thought 9-11 happened because we didn't do anything about the USS Coal. That's what my reasoning was and still kind of whatever.

It doesn't really matter, I guess. But I came back and immediately was sent on a national. another deployment. And usually you get a break, but they just put me right back on another ship, back-to-back deployments. So we went out. And as we were out, we were right near Australia. And we got off the boat.

We were partying. And the shore police started running fast us and grabbing Marines, drunking Marines. And said, get back to the ship. Get back to the ship yelling. We've just been attacked. And that's what 9-11 happened. Shush. And so, yeah.

And so we were literally, that's us. We were literally the first Marines, first Marine division that were deployed to Pakistan first, to secure an airfield that was secret at the time. And that was so that the TACPs, that was so the per rescue could stage there for the bombings that would ensue in Afghanistan. And then we picked up shop after 10 days of there. and deploy straight into Camp Rhino, south of Canada Heart, from the USS Pelul. And so I was maybe the seventh guy on the ground.

I always like to say that. Wow. As a Marine, but the Rangers beat us there. Damn, how do that feel? It was ice cold, you know? Are you excited about it? Crazy. Crazy excited.

I was so excited, John, because I knew I was meant for something, you know. And to see that fulfill. see that fulfilled, even if I could be mentally wrong about that, it happened. So, coincidence or not, I knew I was in the right place, you know. But I think I heard one of your interviews recently where you were like, you know, the SEALs wasn't what I thought it was going to be. And that's exactly what I felt. I found myself just, I was lacking and I wanted real combat. But my deployment to Afghanistan was so boring. I think we killed a massive herd of camels that were coming into our wire at night. We just destroyed the camels. We did long-range patrols, just little to nothing,

nothingness. And so I get out of the Marine Corps. I can't believe my experience. I'm like, I thought it was going to go to war. I thought we were going to be there like World War III. We got relieved. I got sent home after seven months. So here I am back at Camp Horno. And I'm like, Hell no at Camp Horno. It means, I think it's oven in Spanish. It's a hell, it's a, it's a terrible place. It's first Marine division. The Frozen Chosen were stationed there. That was like our older brothers. And so I get out, Sean. I'm done with the Marine Corps. I've got to go to the seals or something. I've got to press forward and find that battle that was still on your head, huh? Yeah, but I was real disappointed. Because what happened, Sean, with me, and I think this is what happens to some veterans,

As I found myself lying to people about my deployment, people would say, Jimmy, you were the first over there to Afghanistan. And I mean, you went and fought for a country. How many people did you kill? And I'd be like, dude, I don't want to talk about it. It was crazy, man. I found myself, I mean, here I am, what, a 19-year-old kid and that people are, like, talking about how I'm a hero for going over there and spending time,

and you must have saw crazy stuff, action. And I find myself saying, you know, But I, yeah, I saw action over there. It was, it was really, but it was just this longing for, like, self-to-validate myself as a man. Like, I wanted validation. And so I wasn't outright saying, I killed, I got confirmed kills, but I was literally like, yeah, bro, it was we were getting attacked all the time. It was crazy. Yeah, I left at that.

Like, I don't want to talk about the type thing. And that's how, like, desperate it was, you know? Yeah. Damn. So you got out. Got out. Yeah, got out. Sean got out and ended up.

My goal is to do the seals, but you know how things start to linger around. You start put it off. I had a lot of doubts about myself still. I mean, I had a lot of doubts about myself. I had no formal schooling. I fell the seal test now twice, by the way. You took the seal test when you were in? I took the seal test before the Marines.

Okay. Right out of, you remember the terrible place, the cleaning toilets? So I went and took the seal test and I got a 17 on my ASVAB. I took the PST, which I bombed, you know, the run and all that, not even close. And then the ASVB was a terrible score. So I'd already taken that. And now I'm out of the Marines. And I'm in my dad's living room on the farm, the old West Texas farm.

And I turn on his TV and there's and it's like a nightmare for me. I see my junior Marines 3-1, 3rd Battalion First Marines, the Thundery 3rd, just stomping through Fallujah, the big push, Operation Phantom Fury. And here it is. Those were my guys. And I see them fighting in Fallujah. I wanted to die. So this was what, 2003? Yeah, 2003 and four.

Right into three up into, yep. And so my dad comes in and he catches me, watch this, and I'm just like paralyzed. And I'm drinking Pisano out of a big jug. I'm drinking his wine. I'm talking about going on Prozac and seeing a psychologist. And my dad's like, what the hell are you talking about? He said, put down my bottle of wine. And I put it down.

And he says, Prozac, psychologist. He goes, Jimmy, Jimmy, what are you talking about? He goes, you don't need Prozac. You don't need alcohol. You don't need a psychologist. He goes, you need to go find your war. And so I really took that to my heart, Sean. What did that mean?

Actual war? I don't know. I think it just meant go find your war. Like, go find what gives you that energy and juice, man. Because this life is going to be over real soon. Here I'm 45, Sean, you know. I was that 17-year-old kid, not too long. long ago. And to me, Sean, it meant go find a war. You better get your ass into action. So I'm

rambunctious deal. I have a lot of doubts about myself. So I go, okay, you're right, Dad. I'm going all in. I'm going to go to the seals. I take the test again, the ASVAP. And I'm, I'm just sweating it, Sean. I got test anxiety. I mean, the last time I made a, I think I took it twice before 17 to 38. Now, this time it was a 48, but you could get one point wavered to 49. And so she says, oh, you get one point waiver to 49, but I needed a 50. And I said there, Sean, and I begged this old lady that had marked my test up. She'd hand-graded it. I begged her to give me that point. I said, please, I'll do anything, you know. And she was like, I'm sorry, son, I can't. And so, man, I was just,

I was pretty devastated over that. And so I was walking out of the room there. And this guy, it looked like a shadow with metals upon his chest, the silver wings, the beret. I guess he was a green beret, but a recruiter or something. But he's standing there, big jacked dude. And I walked by, I had my head down like this. And he grabbed me like that, like stop me. And I said, what, man?

And he goes, hey, he goes, today's not your day. but maybe tomorrow is. I said, what does that? I said, what does that mean? He said, man, maybe the Seals is not for you now. But maybe you go to a place called Blackwater, and then you go to the Seals later on. He goes, you know what I'm talking about?

I said, Blackwater. I said, what is that? Is that like the Rhodesian SAS? Because I had read about these different rogue mercenary stuff and things. But I had heard about Blackwater just barely since 2004. And he goes, yeah, just go apply to Blackwater.

They're doing crazy stuff right now, man. And I go, okay, how do I apply? He said, go get on Google or whatever. I can't remember how. I put my resume in, just this bullet point list of a bunch of bullshit, you know. And I, but I get accepted to go to the vetting process in Blackwater, Moyog, North Carolina. Eric Prince is there.

I mean, it's brand new. It's not a target factory still. but it's pretty dang new. What did you think of that place? Did you go there? I went to, obviously. I went to the vetting process. I went through it.

It was hard, brother. What program was this? Was this the WIPPS program? WIPS one and WIPS 2. I went through WIPS one and went two. Yeah. What's the difference? Wips 2 is not like some test.

You just come back. I was in Iraq when they made us go through Wips 2. I don't even know what that stands for anymore, but you come back, you get qualified whips two classes. But the first one, the first one, whips one was the vetting course for Blackwater.

And that one, I started maybe with 30 guys and we ended with maybe 10. 10. It was very challenging. I heard your interview about the CIA interview, your vetting process, and you were talking about the shooting

the shooting course and how difficult it was. I don't think ours was as hard as yours, but it sounded just like that, how hard it was. It was very difficult. Interesting. So this is the State Department of Contract. Diplomatic, yep, Department of State, diplomatic mission, Blackwater.

So how old were you when you went to that? I was, were you even 21 yet? Oh, yeah. You were? I was 23. 23. 23 yeah because Nysar was 27 yeah four years how long were you doing that for four years so I I graduated the vetting process I was in class 15 and oh wow you were in there early yeah yeah our our instructors were the Karzai detail okay and brimmer Brimmer was still with mom but brimmer and cars eye and so our guys were green berets and seals and stuff, instructors.

And so you talk about a chip on their shoulders. They looked at us like nothing. The very first day, the guy came in. They called the angel of death because he would just come in and read your name off at the end of the night and you just got the van and gone like you were done. And so it was really pressure. I was all in. It already failed the seal thing.

But I had matured a lot at that point and made it through the course, you know. And they asked me at the end. at graduation, they asked me, when do you want to go to Iraq? And I said, now. And so they flew me out like literally the next day from Virginia. And I went from Virginia to Germany, Frankfurt, Frankfurt to Jordan, Amon Jordan. And that's where my Blackwater time really kicks off. Crazy.

What'd he mean crazy? Well, in Jordan, I walk in and there's this guy at the bar. and he's got tattoos everywhere. He's got cut here around his neck and his scissors, like tattooed on his neck. And he looks like maybe a former biker or something, but he was a Marine. And he was there for that on that contract as well, the DOS contract. And I meet him. I said, you here for Blackwater?

He's like, yeah, you knew? I said, yeah. He was new too. So we were both new. So we'd swim-budied up at the bar there, drink all night. The next day, we get on a little. and we get on an airplane, a twin lacosa, I think it's called a twin lacosa 80, something like that.

Two big diesel total prop inches, not some big plane or anything. And I told this story before, and people were like, dude, there's no way you were in Blackwater. We didn't insert like that. I'm like, yeah, because you weren't in in the early years. You know, I'll tell you the Wild Wild West here, dog, you know. And so me and him, maybe another guy got on there with our bags, and they flew, I mean, like a thousand feet over the desert from Jordan to it was really it was really low you can look out the window and you're just flying across the desert like fast and then right when we got up to

Baghdad um we went straight up in the air is like as high as that sucker could go before it almost stalled out this guy was white white ponytail pilot probably a Vietnam pilot and we went straight up as high as you can go till the bird almost stalled out and then he went straight down like a corkscrew right over the airfield. I remember the airfield just going like this and he went like do. And I guess some kind of anti

surface to air missile defense maneuvers just to drop right down on it. But as we were coming down, I remember looking outside and Baghdad, you saw these black plumes of smoke coming up. It kind of looked like hell in a way.

But for me, it was just beautiful. It was a wonderful time because I felt like invigorated. like my life was, I found my war. So I get off the airplane with this guy with a tattoo on his neck. And I always say that you had a 50-50 chance in Blackwater, a 50% survival rate. Because the reason why I say that is I got off the plane with this guy.

And there's this rogue rag-tag team. They'd even have, some of the trucks weren't even armored, Sean, still. They had the metal cages that would shift and lock you in there. You could burn alive. that happened. And so this rogue team picks us up. We go down Route, right, Irish,

Route Irish death road, the six miles to the, you know, you know, to the man cam. And they open the door and he gets out first, the guy with a tattoo on the neck

and we're in the man camp. And I get out right after him. We're brand new guys. And a guy says, you. And he points to the guy, Bryce, his name, tattoo on neck.

He goes, you're going to Mazzul. And he looked at me. He goes, you're staying here. And so I stayed two days later. I hear a guy talk about a team that just got blown to smithereens in Mosul. And two days, two days later. And I'm listening and I'm like, what the heck? And one of them was like, didn't you come in with the guy with a tattoo on his neck? And I said, yeah. They said, you know, the whole team's dead. They said, but him, the guy with a

tattoo on his neck? The new guy, because he was the trunk monkey, They put him right in the back. Just told him to lay down and shut up. He was blown out the back and a piece of shrapnel went right here in his neck. He had to get a tracheotomy, flown out to Germany. But he lived. I still talked to him. You still talk to him.

Yeah. Because when I told the story, I had lost contact. You reached out. Yeah, he goes, bro. Somebody heard it's weird. Damn, that's crazy how that happens. Yeah. We've had a bunch of that kind of stuff happen.

I bet you've been all kinds of reunion connections. doing this. Oh, yeah. All kinds of people, you know, like yourself, telling, telling their story, and then someone to reach us. Right. Like, I was, Chris Van Zant was one. I think that, I think it was the, I can't remember, somebody that was on the ship that

was artillery for it. Like, it happens all the time. Yeah. It's cool to see it happen. I was the pilot on that, I was this, I was the, like, it's just, it's really, you cool to see those connections happen. Yeah, and it's kind of, it's one good thing about social media, you know?

You can reconnect with people. So what are you thinking? I mean, you get, brother, upset because you didn't see any combat as a Marine and then you go to this and two days later. Keep in mind. We're getting killed. Yeah, keep in mind. I'm completely brainwashed.

Yeah. I'm completely disillusioned. Like, you know, people are, people on social media will say, you know, you're a, you're a bootlicker. It's like, yeah, bro, like, you try, try actually doing. it and being over there and doing what I did, you know? So what I'm thinking, Sean, is I'm thinking, dude, this is the most exciting time of my life. Like, I can't even imagine this mindset now that I have a kid and that I've grown out of this.

But at the time, I was all in. And most people were pro going into Iraq because we had nuclear bombs. So I'm all in. But I can't help but notice, like, the amount of money that it has to fuel this war train. Remember the concrete walls? Like you could pave 10 highways in America with the concrete that they poured around the green zone. The tanks just to keep them alive, which the insurgents were defeating and destroying. So here I am.

I start running with my new Blackwater team in the same position, the old trunk monkey. They say, you know, lay down, shut up, just observe and survive. And so we go out the first day out of the wire. And I remember the driver was just had this rag tag red beard and and just long hair. And he's smoking a cigarette with the window down. And a freaking round just smashed center mass into his window. And he just armor glass. And he just shattered.

Boom. Just shattered the front window. And the guy never flinched and just kept smoking. And nobody said a word. Kind of like, it was kind of like, whoa, like that. Like, whoa. and I'm going, what do you mean? Whoa, like what?

Dude, we just got a freaking blasted dog, like in the face. And literally never said a word about it, the debrief. It was like, yeah, that was kind of crazy, smoking still. And I'm just like, this is going to be rough, you know. Jeez. So I had to grow up faster. So what was the, I mean, I know what the mission was, for the audience.

What were you? What was the purpose? Well, people were always like, oh, it's a mercenary. Well, okay, you could call it whatever you want, But it's not really, because I did that later on in life. It's more of a, it's under the Department of State. You got a black diplomatic passport. They had to justify you being under this contract for the Department of State.

So they had to make us official first. So they gave us the rank of GS-16. They gave us black diplomatic passports. They made us official hominous dominus. Now you are this guy who just, you're basically trading in your military uniform for civilian clothes and a beard. And now you have machine guns. running around all crazy, belt-fed machine guns. But the mission was to basically take diplomatic members from the Department of State,

whether that's Conno Lisa Rice, Dick Cheney, the undersecretaries, whoever that be, onto their little coffee meetings, to be honest. Downtown Baghdad, Iraq, risk an entire team just so that they can go have a little photo op or meet and greet. That's basically what it was to all the ministries. And they were doing crazy stuff, Sean, when I first showed up. I mean, stuff that would blow people's mind. Like what?

Like the very first, like my very first week or two in my first team, they were like, hey, we need two volunteers. And of course, I'm like, always, always, always volunteer for everything. I want to see the action. And they're like, you're going to tomorrow, you're going to meet with the little birds. You're going to get on a little bird with your partner, your swim buddy. They're going to fly you downtown Baghdad. drop you off on a ministry, one of the ministries, by ourselves, beat another guy, two Blackwater

guys, and then they leave, they just drop you off, leave. And, you know, you're going to secure it, you know, find the exits, you know, find the entries in the exits, secure it, radio us in, and then we're going to come in with the team. So you're like an advance party. You first in, last out type of thing. And I remember, I was like, the team leader said, hey, make sure you take. take these grenades. We weren't supposed to have grenades in Blackwater, but we had it all. He said, take these grenades with you in this bag.

He goes, take some extra water, take this map. He said, and bro, don't get caught. Don't get caught alive. He said, shoot yourself, dog. Like, don't, don't go out like that. You know what I mean? And I was like, yeah, I got you. I got you.

So he was basically saying, you know, don't, don't get caught alive if they get you. What are you thinking about that? I thought about it long and hard. And I was like, no matter what happens, Sean, if I get surrounded downtown Baghdad, being this other guy, this Blackwater guy, and we get stormed, which eventually happened to two ages guys, and their heads were found floating in the Tigers River, if I get stormed, I'm never going to, I'm never going to shoot my pistol much.

I may shoot maybe like five times, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, pop, and then turn it on myself. So I make sure that I have a round for myself. That was my plan. because I didn't want to go out like that, you know. I didn't want to be caught and tortured, you know. But they were doing these missions like this as an advance. Me and another guy all day long sometimes, sitting in the Ministry of Wool by ourselves until eventually, you remember ages?

Yeah. I mean, I don't know much about it. Two guys, a British contracting company, two guys from there got their, were kidnapped, doing a similar thing. I did not know that. And their heads were found about two months later in the Tigers. Two months later? Yeah, it was a long time later.

I was there with my girlfriend watching the news, and they said they found those guys' heads in the river. So who knows what happened to them? Horrible stuff. Damn. Damn. Horrible stuff. And so I started, Sean, doing all the positions I could.

I volunteered for everything. Some of the hardest positions is dry things. driving, you know, being a tactical drive or being just, you know, and I didn't like that too much because you had to hit cars. And in, in, in it, they had these massive bumpers welded onto the front of these trucks and these hummers and these, these SUVs. And they were all, they looked like an abstract art with colors all over the bumpers from just smashing in a car, so blue, red, whatever white car. And that, that, that bumper would open up a car like a can of owner. If like a van, a van, because you know, they're terrible drivers there, you could die for a small trafficking fraction in Iraq. I always was amazed by that. You know, Kif, Kif, you keep going forward. You know, our rules of engagement were extremely loose. What were they? Do you remember them? Oh, yeah. I remember very, very specifically. It was if I feel like my life is in danger or my team or the equipment.

Daily force is authorized. No questions. No warning shots were allowed. That's it. It was the early days, man. That was early days. I literally would write down. I killed two military age men today on whatever route.

We were on a back of an MRE card and turning in. They'd say, Jimmy, we need your report. I said, I'm tired. I don't want to go up there to the embassy. They said, well, write it down on the back of this MRE card. MRE card. They tore off a piece and I literally wrote it down.

I killed two military age men in a white corolla da da da da da da da da today. Jeez. And it was happening all the time because you couldn't risk you couldn't risk getting vaporized. Like people don't understand

a V bid going off. I can't remember how many thousands pound bomb that is, maybe 2,000 pound bomb. I can't remember. A V bid? Yeah, or 500? I don't think it matters.

I think it doesn't matter. Right. Vehicle-borne ID. Yeah, exactly. But they always have like a certain amount of, you know, a weight to them with the explosion. And man, that sucker gets 300 feet from you or closer. It's over.

So what do you do? Yeah. You know? So you turn into a, so our mentality was basically like, no matter what, you're coming home. No matter what. And it's me or them. And you saw guys buckle up and they would get fired.

How many, I mean, how long are you, before you started seeing people kill people. Was it immediate? Yeah, it was immediate. It was almost immediate. Well, you know, my buddy, he got injured, and then maybe my second time out, I was in the trunk monkey spot.

Oh, man, you just reminded me of this. I haven't thought of this in years. I was in the trunk monkey spot with my squad automatic weapons, and we rounded this corner, and we were in the hate truck. It's the back truck, you know, like a shark in the back. And these guys were d-ringed in.

And in, you know, facing me, left and right door gunner. And I think his name was Paul, or he was an ex-seal. And he was a really great guy. But we went around this corner and right into the venue, right as we were going into the venue. You don't want anything to happen right at the venue gaze. It's like a nightmare. And right as we were turning in, he opened that. door and he leaned out and just let that saw just rip off like that and i saw a taxi just slam into a light

pole and i'm seeing this stuff i'm like oh my god and i i remember looking in and the guy like literally like i i know i haven't seen this before but it was literally like like um pumping blood out of these holes individual holes in him the taxi driver and then we pulled into the venue and the gate closed kind of, but was open, and we got out, and my team leader's like, what the hell happened? What's up? It's always chaos. Hey, this car came in on us, man. I'm sorry.

I thought it was, I thought it was a V-Bit. And that was perfectly justified. And this is the rules of the Department of State. And I'm standing there in my first experience with crazy stuff like this is this guy comes in and he's stitched up, but he's walking and bleeding everywhere. And he comes and he falls at our kind of. falls at her feet by the gate. And we're just standing there.

And I'm like, I don't know what to do. And they don't know what to do. And he was saying something. And all he wanted was a letter from us saying that he was not an insurgent at the hospital when he was taking the hospital. Shit, man. Brother. And it just gets worse from there. Do you remember the first time you had to kill somebody?

Yeah. I shot so many cars, Sean. I shot a lot, man. I did a lot. I did a lot. But I also had reasoning. I also had some, I also had an ability to not do it. I remember I almost got fired for not killing this guy because I was the lead Turk

gunner and with the 240 and then my M4 and 203. And this guy started the, I could tell these two guys were four. fighting in the car. They're yelling at each other in Arabic, you know. They're aggressive. It's kind of dramatic. They're fighting and I'm watching them and they're up, up above and they start to back up into us. And as he starts to back up, I feel hands on my leg go, ha, ha, ha, s, and they're squeezing me like, shoot this guy. They grab my legs, like kill him because they're watching this. They can't do anything. But I know that they're arguing and I see him arguing. I have every right, I could easily slice them both up through the back window. Easy day. But I just knew

that there was absolutely 100% chance they were just bullshit. They weren't paying attention. And so I just shot twice in there, and I guess it was gasoline started coming out. But I went, pop, and this automatic liquid started coming out of the back. And they both just were so terrified because they knew how close they were. And my team leader was like, good job, boss, man. But they called me in and they say, hey, what did we say? There are no warning shots allowed. You could get fired and terminated from this contract for do that again. I said, you're going to fire me for having the judgment not to kill somebody when I know they weren't a bad guy? And they were like, that's right. No warning shots. I said, okay, next time, I said, next time I'll kill them both for you.

That was it. I'm not trying to be badass. That's, I said, next time I won't do them in favor, I guess. And so that leads him to... of many, many assaults, many fire fights, many, uh, just continuous mayhem. Uh, especially on the- I realized it was that bad on that side. Well, uh, there's the PSD side,

which maybe a guy watched right now was saying, well, I don't remember that. Well, because you were playing poker every night in the damn man camp Chahaw, and you were smart. I was stupid. I decided to continue to elevate myself and continue to volunteer and go into harder, more difficult, challenging things. like the quick reaction force teams and the tactical support teams.

And it was all volunteer like normal, you know. And I felt like that's where the action is. So I naturally, my attitude gravitated towards the action, towards what's going to give me action? I don't want to sit here all day. I don't want to sit in the man camp, hold. I don't want to admin administrative job. I want to do stuff.

I want to save people, by the way. I thought I was there for a righteous cause, by the way, still. And so I ended up being the turd gunner, the lead turd gunner for one of the big QRF teams. And that's all I did all day, run lead turgown. I mean, started out as a rear and then worked my way up to lead, but just did that day in and day out, day in and day out, shooting cars, getting in ticks, sometimes nothing. Sometimes you come back and you're watching.

water bottles next to your, you know, leak in. And you're like, thank God we didn't get shot at today. And you're looking and there's like a hole through the box where you, you know, you're going 50 miles an hour down the road and you don't even hear around go cross and go under the box. And you're like that, that close, you know. Damn. Yeah.

But, but man, we were, we were in for a very painful. meaningful less than, you know. Let's take a quick break. Yeah. I'm at the point where if a shirt fits weird or can handle a real day, I'm not going to wear it. I want clothes that are easy. I put it on, it fits right, it moves with me, and I don't have to think about it again.

That's why poncho outdoors has become one of the shirts I keep reaching for. My life is dynamic. One day I'm hosting the show, the next I'm traveling for interviews, walking into a business meeting, going to dinner, or taking the kids to something. I need shirts that can move through that kind of day without looking too technical. That's what poncho does well. They make shirts with the function you want, but they still look clean enough to wear pretty much anywhere. Their denim shirt, the one that I'm wearing right now, has that broken in feel right out of the box. It moves well, it holds up, and it has the practical details that I like. It's got hidden zipper pockets, a built-in

lens cloth and sunglasses holders. The fit is a big part of it too. They've got regular slim and tall options, so it's not one generic cut that either pulls under the arms or hangs like a trash bag. It actually fits right. And if the size is off, exchanges are easy with free returns. That's usually the test for me. If I wear something once and forget about it, it winds up in the back of the closet or the donation bin. If I keep grabbing it, that's the thing. That's the tells me everything I need to know. And Poncho is one of those shirts that I just keep grabbing for. Go to Ponchooutdoors.com slash Sean Ryan. Enter your email and get $10 off and free shipping on your first order. Again, that's P-O-N-C-H-O-O-O-O-O-O-D-R-Rash-Shawn-Ryan. Once you try one,

you'll probably end up ordering a few more. That's what happened to me. Here's the pitch. It takes two minutes and you'll never think about it again. Download it, hit one button, close the app. That's the entire job. No manual, no settings, no tech background. Nothing for you to get wrong. And then it just runs. Blocking the trackers, the fishing sites, and the surveillance ads across every app on the device all day, quietly, without anybody having to do. do anything. It's first week out. It hit number six on Apple's top downloaded productivity chart. Built by former U.S. intelligence professionals. I'm a co-founder, Glacier, downloaded on the App Store. And remember, privacy isn't paranoia, it's protection.

All right, Jimmy, we're back from the break. Yeah. Man, I got to be honest, I wasn't expecting to go there with the Blackwater stuff. That's a, uh, that's a hell of a, of a change of pace from what you're doing in the Marine Corps to that. Well, you know, Sean, I don't want to get, I don't want to come across as we were freaking just blazing and running and gunning every day. There's, in war, you know very well that there's a shit ton of boredom. But then there's these action scenes that happen most of the time in the opposite way that you

would think that they're happening. Now, we didn't do any night runs. Okay, it was all day. And on our day off, we'd have every, every third or fourth day off, we would just go to the pool with Solomon Hussein's palace and try to pick up on the Army chicks or whatever, play on my little Nokia snake game phone. Yeah, I would act busy like this. That was my trick. And the girls would be like, oh, those are Blackwater guys. They got beards, and they don't have to salute the generals. and you weren't working on your MySpace account? No, no. Yeah, you see my MySpace?

Oh, man. So. You're like, oh, yeah, I forgot about that. MySpace. You had MySpace. I had MySpace. Everybody in Baghdad had MySpace. There wasn't anything else to do.

I had a crazy girl acting like, acting like it was me and her talking back and forth. And she was married. And she was acting. I had no idea. about this whatsoever. I was in Iraq, fighting it out, duking it out in Blackwater. And I have this crazy girl that's literally like acting like me and her are together going back and forth on my space. She had my profile responding to her profile. And it wasn't even me. And I find this out. And I'm just like, oh, bro. It's my first experience with social media. You know, but

that. Baghdad was an interesting place back then. But there was parties all the time. People don't understand that. I think you know what I thought What was really, I mean, I don't think I've ever even talked. What was really, especially when I got to, when I got to GRS, you would get these young women who just got out of Harvard and Stanford and Brown and all these Ivy League schools. And, you know, that it's a certain type that goes there, you know. Right, right, right. And then they show up in the middle of Afghanistan or Yemen or Iraq or Pakistan or Pakistan or insert war zone country. And then they made seals and green berets and recon guys and contractors.

So they're like, that's a fucking man. Right. And then it's like a switch flips. Right. And they want to need a number. man and another man and another man. Right. And all of a sudden, these Ivy League people, they're not attracted to those types anymore.

No. And then the partying starts. Yeah. My girl was Canadian. That's from Stanley Baker. Worked with Stanley Baker contractor. She was the most, except for my wife now, you know, beautiful girl there at the time. I think, you know, a bunch of hair, beautiful body.

And I mean, I just went straight up to her. She had never had a guy ever do that to her. I was tripping pool water on her. She's reading her book, you know, like a huge nerd, you know, because she's been in college most of her life. And she looks up at me and I'm like, hey, you want to, you want to make out or something stupid, something crazy. And she's like, you're stupid, you know. Well, I mean, could you imagine coming up, like, you go, you're coming from Harvard, you know, sweater vests. and then you go, and then you're in Baghdad.

You see a bunch of guys come in with blood on their kid, bullets all over the car. You know what I mean? Straight up warriors. Yeah. And the first thing they want is a beer. Oh, yeah. It's like, what is that? It's a fucking man.

That's what that is. That's right. You just haven't been around that before. Yeah, and these girls were blown away by that. I remember my girl talking to me and we would sit there together at night, you know, with candles lit and incense. Dude, this is in Baghdad, Iraq, man. Freaking rocket smashes down behind you. And yeah, I used to see her.

She was my girlfriend in Iraq. I was seeing her every night. I do these crazy runs during the day. We became like the 9-1-1 force for the National Guard, the Army, Marines. Not as much Marines. And, but we're running and gunning all day, rescuing teams, and I would come back and tell her this crazy story. And she was just, like, blown away by this. I mean, I was really getting puffed up, you know?

I really thought I was something at the time. I really felt I was pretty cocky, you know. But then you also, you know, you got the guys that fall in love with them. You know. Right. And they're agency girls. Right. And it's like, and it's like, she loves me.

It's like, she doesn't love you, dude. You're going to rotate out, and then there's going to be another one. No, she loves me. Really? She loves you. You don't even know her real name. You don't even know her real name. The agency, gross.

You don't even know her real name. I hope your audience caught that. That was funny. But, yeah. So you were on the Raven 23 team. Right. I was on Raven 26 as an eventual team leader of Raven 23. 26, we're running and gunning, and then all of a sudden they're like, there's this Raven 2,

three that needs a new team leader. And so they bring me, they knew Haas, they knew I could control the team. That's one thing I could do. Because I just knew what men wanted. I knew what warriors need. And so they brought me over, and everybody's looking at me all cocky, like, who's this new, who's this guy to come over and be our team leader now? And I mean, they wanted somebody like straight up raw that nobody really knew from another complete another cell in team to come run them.

And they said, Hoss, do whatever it takes, iron these guys out. They're kind of a little rough, you know, out there. It's a little, they're getting a little rough out in the wire. That's what they told me. And I said, okay. And everybody's looking at me kind of like cocky and stuff. You can imagine like 30 guys that are from all different backgrounds, Seals, Rangers, badass guys, Rangers, all of them. and they're looking at me like, who's this guy, you know?

And I remember I just stood in front of them. I don't know what came over me, but I was like, look, I was like, look, you may love me or hate me, but I'm going to promise you three things. I said, you're going to work. We're going to work, guys. Because I knew guys were, I was pissed. You know, we were, sometimes we'd sit there and listen to a team get smashed and just not do anything about it or take our time. And I was like, guys, we are good at work.

And by work, I mean, we're going to freaking work. We're going to answer every call we can. I don't care if you're changing your tire out there. We're going out. I don't care what happens. We're going to go out and we're going to set up the wall of steel. We're going to drive our vehicles right between them and the wall of fire, the bullets. That was our SOP, a wall of steel.

And so I said, we're going to work. I said, you're going to sleep more than me and you're going to eat the best food around, even if we have to go route Apache through the black routes in Sauter City, the band routes. And they were like, who the fuck is this guy? Who's this guy? you know, does he have the authority to do this? And, and, and, uh, one guy was like, you, you, you, you don't have the, you don't have the, you don't have the authority to fire us.

Because I, I told him, I'd fire your ass. I say, hey, bro. I said, open your mouth again and see what happens. I said, the window or awe, we used to say, you know, you'll be on the next flight out there. I said, I don't want any shenanigans. You're not going to just kill people for the fun of it. You know, it's got there, we're, we're here for a purpose to rescue teams. I was very rambunctious.

And they gave me the full power, hominous, dominus, to do this, Sean, to fire. Anybody can get fired any moment by me. And I had the power and authority to go out without asking, which plays a huge role later on, you know, in the Nesar Square. So I'm the only one to ever give those guys the opportunity to tell their side of the story. story. Nassau Square. Yeah, man. There's their pardons right up there.

I don't sign their pardons. And you talk about coming full circle. Now I'm here and you gave those guys a chance to tell their story and their partings on the wall. It's weird, man. Life is weird. It is. I didn't even realize you were a part of that until I read the outline this morning. Yeah.

I was a team leader. Do you want to go into that? We, we, I can skim around. They got pardons. gag order in, what do they call it, immunity only as long as I don't talk about it. Gotcha. You know, specifics, what I did. But you can gather, I mean, if somebody wants to investigate it, they can gather kind of what I did, you know.

Okay. You can kind of gather from their, from their reports, what happened. Well, I don't want to get anybody in trouble. Yeah. So how did you, sounds like there's a lot of killing going on. Right. Right. How are you handling that?

Sounds like it happened relatively fast. There was a decent amount of it. Well, how are you processing that? Are you processing it? I'm not processing it because it's happening so fast around me. In fact, the Raven 2-6 team that I just leave, I literally left and they get blown up. Their lead truck gets hit by IED and hit it in a watermelon stand. with a follow-on attack, a small arms.

And so, my homies, the front two turret gunners, a dual turret. One of them loses half of his arm. The other one shot out like a rocket onto his head. His head swollen up. He gets unrecognizable. And I'm going to the hospital, seeing this, holding these guys' hands, watching four army guys die right in a row. screaming out, you know, mom, mom, Jesus, Jesus, and just fading out. I saw that shit. And, you know,

blood, blood all in the foyer of the Baghdad hospital flies on the stretchers. As you come in, just stretchers stacked, stretchers just stacked. We're answering the calls to the, to the rockets now. We develop kind of an SOP while we're there. A rocket would hit and we run right to it no matter what, even if rockets were still hitting. Because I saw guys that got hit hiding from rockets. I was like, screw that, man. If you're going to go out, you might as well go out like a G, you know, you might as well go out like with running, you know, out there.

And so we were answering these calls and we would get there. People would be blown apart. It's crazy how the mind works, Sean. I know you know this, but, you know, I blacked out a lot of the terrible stuff. And only years later, through therapy and stuff, did it, did it come up? Like, one time, there was three rockets that hit, boom, boom, boom, like that. And we ran over there. And there was just a pile of, there was a pile of guts on fire, on fire.

And there was a hand over here with a cell phone and an arm, in an army doctor, medic, he looked like a purple smurf. He's sitting there like this. and I said, hey, I said, how many? How many? And he just goes like this, like held up his four fingers. And I just ran into that. And I was so used to running into it.

We ran over there. And I remember my buddy in front of me tried to jump over the guts. And he fell in it and hit his back into the fire and the guts. You know, it was smoldering. And I picked him up and he was just covered in this stuff. and I rounded a corner and there was a girl at a blue dress. Just the weirdest stuff, a girl with a blue dress and top of her head was gone. Oh, man.

And I couldn't understand how she died because she was so far away from the explosion. And so I was caught by myself back there with her. It was just me and her. And this cold came over me. And I just looked at her. The blood was pulling, coagulating out of the top of her head. And I remember I just was. so confused, like a little, like NCIS investigator.

I'm like, well, I didn't want to touch anything. And I looked up and part of the tree was sheared off. And all I could think of was maybe the shrapnel hit the tree and came down on her or something weird. Anyways, picked her up, put her into bags as usual, sprayed out the trucks that night with power washers, and then go back out of the next day over and over and over. And eventually, I don't know, Sean, I just, I knew I knew I was going to get hit. I knew something, I knew something bad was going to happen. I knew it was coming.

They were giving me awards. They were saying, Jimmy, good job. They call me Haas, Haas, man. Good job, bro. Do it again. Do it again. You don't got to ask us permission. Do it again.

Go out there. I'm 27 years old. I thought I was a man back then. I thought it was a full-grown badass. warrior and I look back at that guy now and I'm like, man, he was a kid that thought he knew what was going on. And it finally eventually caught up to me and I had to make the call to go out that day. I already had trappinal.

I had shrapnel in my leg from a cheap Chinese Chi-combe grenade that I had stepped out of the truck and banged it out with some insurgents that ran up on us, ran up right us, right up on us. And I just opened the door like this, because I knew what he was trying to do. He was trying to throw grenade in the turret. And, you know, a grenade in the truck with the closed doors like that armored, it's over.

And that's how I saw four army guys die. A grenade had gone in their turret, and it, boom, like that, you know. And they survived only to die a couple hours later in front of me. And when I saw those four guys die, those army guys, I said, Sean, I said, I am not going to die like that on my life. I would go out fighting on my feet, then take a grenade in the turret. So when we pulled up to Arminaught City Hall, it was a major exchange of gunfire. A guy in his pajamas that looked like ran past the window.

And the truck shook like this, like an explosion small. And like a grenade had missed. And that's what he did. he threw the grenade and it bounced off the top of the turret. And the guy tried to smoke him and I jumped out. And that's when I took Shrapnel. He must have thrown another grenade. And I threw a grenade over the wall.

And they smoked him. But so I have this in my leg. My team that I just left is blown up. Guys are injured. You have all these rockets going on at night. I know my time's coming. And by the way, the pallet guts that were on fire was, the same guy from Indonesia or whatever that gave me my float ice cream float Sunday every day

and he was so nice I asked the next day I said where's that guy that gives me my ice cream said that was him yesterday yeah how many deployments did you do over there I don't know um I Baghdad was my permanent address so I just stayed there well I would do like nine months nine months on, one month off, six months, one month off, nine months, one month, for almost four years. What do you tell on your parents? Are you still close with them at this point?

Yeah, they were just, they just knew that I was meant to do it. They were just like, totally like, hey, man, Jimmy's doing his dream, let him do it. And my mom was tough. But did they know? I don't think they knew to the extent, but they knew it was bad. Because I liked a good story, so I would tell them some stuff, but not too crazy. Nothing. They didn't know the bad stuff.

They didn't know how terrible it was, Sean. And the day the Nisar Square happened, Baghdad's bloody Sunday, they call it, you know, with the four guys that you brought in here. They, I saw a big black plume of smoke and a bomb went off. You could feel it. I was in the Chahawaw, and the windows vexed, like that. Like that. in turbulence.

And I was like, it's over. Because I just knew with things that were escalating, I just knew that my time was coming to an end there. But I always did. I always did what I said I was going to do. You're going to work. You're going to eat better. You're going to sleep more than me.

And I took the guys out. And we got to the checkpoint. And Corey Wainscott, who later died, he's my tactical commander in the front truck. He said, hoss, what do you want to do? We have a team that's been attacked. They said, contact, contact, contact on the air like they had been attacked. And I thought they had been blown up. And he says, hoss, what do you want to do?

And he goes, we can go to this traffic circle and block it off while they come through. Because, you know, you insurgents attack at these points. And I said, hold on. And I waited. And I knew if I said, go out. It was over, Sean. And a voice told me that, a voice said, if you do this, it's going to be bad. And I didn't know to the extent we never do, do we.

And that's when I said, go ahead and go. Because I always did the more aggressive thing. I always leaned on the never die with the cold gun in your hand. And so we went out. And that's when all hell broke loose. And that's when a lot of lives were changed. A lot of lives were. A lot of people were killed.

And, of course, those guys on Raven 2, 3. And you were out there with them. Yeah, I was the team leader. I was in the third truck. You got maps, you got radios trying to talk to the little birds and stuff. But all hell broke loose. Yeah. But it was my call.

And I take 100% responsibility. responsibility for it. Because you can't be a leader and just take all the goodness and say, oh, yeah, I did this. I'm this. No, if you want to be a leader and you want to step up the plate, even if it was that many years ago, you take the full run, you know, even if it was a nightmare. And I was blamed, you know, for making a call to go out. They said, I disobeyed orders. I went against their calls. There were no orders. There was no calls. They had, They kept encouraging me to go out. So I just, I made the decision to go out.

Did it intercept an attack or something else? I'll never know. Do you think that was the wrong call? Considering how it ruined so many lives? Yeah. Yep. I mean, I can sit here today and say, no, man, Sean.

No. That was the right call, but I would have rather died that day than go through what those guys had to go through. Because it's one thing as a leader to lose guys on a team, but you imagine like the guys go to prison for life because of your choice, you're in eternal like torture. Your mind is tortured year after year. You can't enjoy anything. And I'm not even, not even woes me now. Like it sounds like a pity party now. These guys had to go to prison because of my call.

But really, a couple things. One of the guys, as you well know, Jeremy Ridgeway, he turned and basically said something else would on that day. And other guys said that. And of course, the Raven, two, three guys based off their counsel, didn't testify. and didn't fight back in a testifying physical way. And when you do that, because I was in a lot of the courts, watching this happen, being called in, you look like a killer, you look like a murder.

You're far away from this jury that has no idea what war, not even a fraction of a, you know, they don't know what war is like or anything. And they're seeing these four, white guys with shaving heads across all the way across the courtroom. And you're guilty. You're guilty. And based off their Blackwater Council, you know, they were told not to say a word.

And I think that was the biggest mistake ever. Because at that point, you've got to, you've got to, you better, you better open your mouth and fight for yourself. Do you think if they would have said something to change the outcome? No. So that's a great point. I mean, the government deleted the evidence that supposedly proved their innocence. They deleted that drone footage of the entire incident, only that slice of drone footage. Yes.

According to their account. Multiple FBI just later said that it was a sham. I don't think it would have changed the outcome. They were totally, they were 100% railroaded. They were heroes in my eyes. for, for people can't even comprehend what they had to go through that day. But, you know, people can't comprehend what, what war is like. They sent an investigation team, the FBI, and they, they couldn't even leave their rooms to investigate the scene for a while because rockets were hitting in the distance.

I said, how can you, how can you judge a crime scene if you can't even go look at it? I mean, think, think of the irony in that. I thought about it many times. That interview, yeah, really, it just really affected me. Yeah, it affected me. It made me feel different about the country. Total betrayal, betrayal. Because three of them got, I think three of them got 35 years and then Nick Slatton got life.

Yeah. You know? Right. Right. Do you keep in touch with those guys at all? two of them I do. And, and, uh, I, there's, I'm sure there's blame on me and, and it's, it's okay. I welcome it.

I, I, I, I, I forcefully welcome it because I really take a lot. I take that real serious. Like you got, you have got to take responsibility, responsibility for all your actions. It, even if it ruins you, you know. And so it was obviously a very difficult time moving forward because I had to figure out what to do now. My lawyers were like, don't worry, Jimmy, they're not going to come out. They can't do anything. And then the FBI is coming to my house and I refused to talk to them.

And that's how I could pass later on my seal stuff, my top secret stuff. Have the FBI ever visited you at your house? No, they had come to my mom's house. Have you ever spoken to the FBI? No, I never did. Never talked to them once. I said, get out of my house, my parents' house. And my lawyer was like, don't be rude to them, you know.

And so I never, never. So basically what happened was it was a shit show, Sean. But it was a lot of conflicting word. Like my lawyer is saying, everything's okay, don't worry. There's nothing they could do to you. They got these sealed things. And then on the news, though, they're full steam ahead. Senator Obama is on there saying these guys need to burn.

And then later on, we find out that Vice President Biden literally went back, went to Baghdad, Iraq, and visited President Maliki at the time and basically made a deal and said, although the case has been dismissed, trust me, we're going to burn these guys. We're going to get them. And that's what they did. And that's while I'm in the seals now. That was your last deployment with Blackwater. That was it. They flew me out directly after that. How long after your last deployment did you go, did you join the Navy? I sat at home and I had a pain management doctor that was willing to give me fentanyl patches,

everything I asked for for nothing, for little chicken scratch on my leg, little ball bearing, shrapnel stuck in my leg, for nothing. And but I made it bigger than it was so I could get on, you know, get more fitting on stuff because now he had to be hooked. And it was an escape for me. And I was able to escape this, this traumatic war, the deception, my own disillusionment,

my brainwashing from the government. I'm able to just escape everything. My buddy taught me how to cut up oxycodone and snored it. And I thought that was just the best ever was heaven at the time. And I'm escaping, escaping, escaping. And I'm drinking now, Jack Daniels. I've taken 15 vacancy a day. I'm cutting up one fit in all patch because they were so heavy.

They'd make you pass out and drool all over yourself. So I'd cut them up and put them on my leg. And so I'm completely just zoned out. And I'm thinking, I have to end my life. So I start thinking of ways to end my life. Really, really thinking about how do I do this and not hurt my family? How do I do this and not? I had a rental house at the time, do it maybe in the bathroom,

but it still would be, you know, this kind of crazy stuff. I was real serious. And I remember my niece came up and she said, hey, you want to watch a cartoon with me? And I said, yeah, you know, whatever, you know. And I sat down with her and it was finding Nemo. Wait, she came up to you as you were going to commit suicide? No, no, she came up to me.

during this dark time. I was, I was, if I stayed by myself, Sean, it was like the demons would come in. And I could not be by myself. I couldn't live by myself. I couldn't be in a room by myself. So I stayed around my parents. I stayed around other life living beings to stay alive. And my niece won't watch Finding Nemo. And I'm all jacked up. But I, but I still had this burning desire to do the seals. But everybody told me, Jimmy, it's over. The seals. It's almost impossible to get you. You know, it's, you know, it's, It's hard. It's very difficult to do it with a clean, perfect record. But I have, I don't know if I'm going to be arrested tomorrow by the FBI, it's staying trial with these guys. I don't know what's going to happen. And my lawyers start saying, oh, my God, Jimmy, the, the, they're, they're, they're thinking about charging you now and with this, this and this, but they can't quite

prove it. So I've got all this pressure against me. And so I turn on finding Nemo with my niece. I'm trying to be a good uncle, but I'm drinking and all jacked up, messed up at my parents' house. And I'm lost, man. And I remember it was about a fish or something swimming around in the deep, dark ocean. It's almost impossible, right? But the whole movie's about keep going, keep swimming.

And all of a sudden, the lights go out on the TV screen. It goes pitch black. And I'm about to get up with my bottle of Jack. And I look and it said keep just just keep swimming or just keep moving forward. And that hit me. I don't know why, but it just hit me. And it sometimes it takes a, I say it takes a perspective change in our life. Just one little thing to flip your switch.

And that for some reason, seeing that just keep moving forward, swimming, hit me, especially in relation to the seals. And so, man, a light went on, Sean, and I said, and I knew right then and there, if I don't get up off this couch and if I don't dump this shit right now, I'm going to die. 100%. I am a dead man. If I don't do something right, I mean, it had to be right now. I knew if I went one more second, it was lights out for me. So I got up from finding Nemo.

I dumped all my stuff. People later questioned, like, well, Jimmy, how could you get off fitness on stuff? I don't remember, I don't know, I don't remember going through horrible withdrawals. It was just some real bad cramping, but I just started running. I just started running and running and running until I threw up. And I saw I just put myself at a situation of complete absolute delusion. I blacked out everything, blacked out the Blackwater event like it never happened. I blacked out everything around me and said, I'm going for the seals.

And it just looked impossible, though. I mean, how were you masking that? Did everybody around you know you were messed up? Or were you masking it pretty good? Your parents, did they know? I think my parents always knew stuff, but they never told me. I think they just did me the favor of not. I think they knew that it was real bad.

It'd be like your uncle coming home from Vietnam, and he's always messed up, but you know he went through some stuff in the jungle, so you leave him alone. You know, I'm not causing a riot. I'm not yelling. I'm not violent. I'm just done. I remember getting into a couple, you know, arguments with my dad because I was being loud or something, you know.

Nothing too crazy. And so I go all in for the seals. And I make it by the grace of God standing on shoulders of giants. And that really, really pissed off. The FBI pissed the DOJ off. Why? What do you mean to piss them off? Well, they dismissed the case in 2009.

And I thread the needle to where I don't have to lie. I don't have to lie on anything. I never lied on my stop secret clearance, all this stuff. I just thread the needle, right? And it's really weird situation because, you know, the DOJ probably thinks the team leader of the Blackwater thing, he's dead. He's gone. It's over for Jimmy Watson. and his life is over.

Well, I keep plugging away. I keep slugging out. Keep swinging for the fences. I mean, it's against all odds. And I get through training. I get my top secret clearance. I'm in sniper school. I go to all-volunteer unit, SDV,

and then I go to sniper. And around that time, they drum up the case again, the Blackwater case. And my old lawyer, Monica Lewinson, Mr. Prasden. You know Monica Lewinsky?

Remember him? I've heard of her. Her lawyer that like cigars. Yeah, she has cigars and blue dresses. Her, she, her lawyer, her defense lawyer was my defense lawyer for Blackwater. And he calls me up. He goes, Jimmy, man, I hate to say this, brother, but you're, you're getting called in to testify. And he says, just don't.

Just don't lie. Just tell exactly how what happened. And so I go in and I testify in my uniform and these FBI are just like, how did this guy, wait, how did he become a seal? He was a black war team leader. Now how did he become a seal? How did he, how does this happen? How does that work? You know, and I, and I, it was pretty extraordinary to be standing there years later and the FBI hate you so much.

And now you're testifying. And my story, my testimony was not collaborating their side of the story, the, the DOJ and the FBI. And they didn't like how my story was indirect. I can't say much, but it was in direct, it was conflicting with Ridgeways. It was the, you know, you know, in ways. Of course, I didn't have a bird's eye view. I was kind of in the seat here. But anyways, my testimony did not help the DOJ, the FBI.

And so they put their crosshairs on me. And that plays on later on with McField. Nobody, I mean, very, what Al Capone has had two FBI, different cases. Can we get seen like, it's like getting hit by lightning twice. And I had two different. big investigations launched against me. And almost, almost successful, too.

So I go in and testify in my uniform. That creates a mistrial. I can't, you know, say, like, it was because of my testimony, but it was brutal. And the jury was in tears after I left. So it, the DOJ are just in shock that I would testify.

fight like this. Just absolutely in shock, direct conflicting their story. And my lawyer said, as long as you don't lie, you're okay. And so they call my lawyer, they tell my lawyer and say, if Jimmy comes in and does that again, we will destroy his seal career. We will, and they said, and Preston told me, I was at Snyder School, at a broken ankle at Snobster's school. He said, Jimmy, these guys are not messed around, and they literally said that they're going to come after your seal career, and it's coming from the very highest place that you can imagine. I said, highest place. He said, the very highest place you can imagine is coming from the top, that you better cooperate and nail these guys into jail. You better go along with their story.

And my lawyer is telling me this. Jeez. You better cooperate with the FBI, or you're good. They're going to ruin your career. They may can't put you in jail because they can't get you on the line, but they're going to come after your career and destroy you. And I said, so be it, man. So be it.

And so what did I do? Just like the movie's Goodfellows. You know, I'll hit you. I'll go to jail. I'll come out and I'll hit you again afterwards. And that's what I did. I went and testified the exact same way in my uniform. And that's when, if I recall, right, that's directly after that.

I was at the top of my game, in my game. In the SDV, I was a team leader, a sniper. I was by no mean the best guy there, but I was doing real well. And, you know, doing real well. Did a national tasking. And that's when they came in. And with the memo, the FBI wrote a memo to my commander and said that I had lied on the stand. all this crazy stuff.

Can you imagine he lied on this memo to say that I was lying. But if you were just smart, if he had a brain, you'd say, well, if he was lying, why not charge him with perjury? But they didn't. And they came after my career. He wrote a nasty memo. And that sent me into a two-year fight that it's hard to imagine. I had to, I fought the Navy. My commander said that I only had 10 days left to.

get out of the Navy. He called me in the office and I was at the top of my game at SDV. I was doing real well and he called me in. After all that, he said, Jimmy, you have 10 days left to get out of the Navy. And I thought he was joking. I said, sir, what? I said what? And he goes, hey, you have 10 days left to get out of the Navy. And I said, sir, I'm not going nowhere. And he said, no. He shook. He says, you don't understand. He said, you're out of here. He goes, Admiral, the top admiral, I almost said his name. But that admiral, the highest admiral, said you're out of here. And I said, I'm telling you right now, I'm not going nowhere.

And he goes, I swear by, you know, in 10 days you'll be out here. In 10 days, I came in with my uniform on and slapped my commander on the back and said, hey, sir. And he was startled. And he looked at me, he said, yes. I was like, I'm still here. and that was my motto. I'm still here.

And the only thing in my real burning drive, Sean, was that I just couldn't imagine. I'm doing this to my sister or somebody that wouldn't fight, you know? Just railroad somebody like that. So what happened? Well, this would happen. I launched an all-out war against the jag, against everybody. I just became a ruthless, brutal.

Back in the Baghdad, Wardog. You know, I launched complaints. I wrote every freaking you name, you name, congressmen, you name it, Senator in Texas, attorney, it's been so long,

but Inspector General's, all these, and I just launched paperwork, at paperwork and paperwork, and unlawful command influence charges on where they have to respond. And then it buys you time. And my dad was a Texas judge, so he's encouraging me and tell me these things to do along the way. And so this whole, so a two, about, I fought him for two years, the Navy.

And every single month, they'd say, you know, you're out in this date. You're out this day. But I would make them, and I'd draw it out another, I'd spend another $15,000 on a lawyer. Then I started representing myself. And eventually it came down to one of those admin boards. and but the three guys at the end of the admin board table, I won't name their names because I'm working on my forgiveness, but they had their orders from the admiral to kick me out no matter what my story was.

And I knew that from a good friend who knew them. All the seals know each other, you know that. And they dismissed me out of the Navy. They said, you're done. And so I finally was, packing my bags to get out of the Navy. My dad called me up, the old Texas judge, he's like, son, he's like, you got one more chance.

He goes, follow another complaint against him. He goes, follow this complaint, this new complaint. And I said, Dad, it's over, man. He says, no, if you do this, it'll buy you another 40 days. And I said, all right, why not, you know, do another 40 days with them? And so I followed another complaint. But this time it was a new commander,

parado. and he overturned their decision and kept me in the Navy. So now... What year is this? 2015? What was his name? Commander Perado. He was an old.

He was an old Mustang. He's enlisted first. Enlisted to captain. What was his first name? Do you know? John No shit John Prano

He's the baddest motherfucker on the planet Nobody Nobody would ever do what he did I have never seen a guy with that ball The kind of boss He said Because he overturned The decision of the entire

Command to kick me out Sean And his boss is the Admiral Admiral Losey, that told them to kick me out no matter what for the FBI. Can you imagine that? And he calls me in and I gave him a bunch of paperwork. And I said, sir, he goes, Jimmy, come in. And I came in.

I'm limping because I just, my body hurt. I was fighting the Navy for two years. It was terrible. And I limped in. And he said, sit down, son. I said, no, I'll stand. He looked at me, Commander Perado. He said, I said, sit down.

And I said, and I sat down. So we had a bad start. And he goes, what are you in here for? I said, sir, I know that you're not going to, I know that you're not going to help me. I know that you're not going to overturn my case. I said, but I want to let you know that, that I would have been a good seal under you.

He goes, I heard about you. He goes, you're the guy that got his dick caught a belt set. I said, that's right. He said, you're the guy that broke his ankle and went to the trot out for damn neck and passed. This is the initial screen on a broken ankle. I said, that's right. And he said, he goes, well, don't ever tell me what I'm going to do or not do. You understand me?

And I said, yeah, okay. And I put my stuff down. And he called me on Christmas. And he said, I reviewed all your stuff for 40 days. He goes, and I'm overturning the case, and I'm going to keep you in and give you whatever team you want to go to. He said, where you want to go? I said, the white devils, team 10. And he said, Roger that.

He goes, they're going to issue an apology when you get to the command. I came to the command. I walked in like a cockroach, Sean. After two years of hell, everybody thought I was done. And there was guys apologizing to me and shit that he made apologize to me. And then, of course, it had to go through one more guy to get me complete. And that was Admiral Lossi. But Admiral Lossi was the original guy.

But everybody thought, no, there's no way he's going to go against Commander Prado now because it's, you know, it's really messed up weird situation, right? And we wait. And he says, get this motherfucker out of here now today. And that was the biggest mistake, Admiral Lossi made ever for his career. Because he didn't understand. He didn't understand. I was ready to die to stay in the seals.

Not to be a seal anymore, but based off of principle in my fight against the FBI. Because I saw him destroy Nick Slayton, Paul Slough, Dustin Hurd, Donald Ball, all those guys. I saw them what they did of those guys' lives. They destroyed their lives. FBI literally destroyed their lives and sleeps at night, not even knowing that they did it. I don't know if they do or not. But I saw what they did. And so I was in it for the blood.

I was in it to die. I know that sounds insane. But when they said that this time, Jimmy, even Commander Prado, said, I'm sorry, son. I did all I could do. I said, you're a G, bro. You will be remembered in the Hall of Fame for a dude to say, balls and and so they said you're out of here in 10 days again this is two years of this and I said I'm not going nowhere Sean and they said you're going this time I said I'm not

going nowhere and they said what do you mean I said well I said I'm gonna I'm gonna go ahead and I said you you you promised that I'm out of here in today's and he said yeah you're this you're done this time I said well tell Admiral Lose, the blood is on his hands because I'm going to kill myself now. You know, I did that. And so my wife at the time called the ambulance, and it was a big show, big, big show. And I go to Emerald Coast mental health because I was in Florida at the time. I stay in there, and I'm trans, I'm lifelighted to Naval Balboa medical mental health.

And it was all to fight for principle. but at this point I need the mental hospital, you know. So it's real, you know? And it's, and so I stay in the Naval Balboa mental hospital for a year, approximately a year. A year. A year. And Admiral Losi finally sends two JAG officers to give me a message.

And I tell my ex-wife, I say, said, baby, you said, you should just leave me because I'm going to be in here for the rest of my life. I've committed myself to this fight to the end. And Admiral Lossi sends two messengers and the two JAG officers come in in their black uniforms and they come in and I'm in the mental hospital. I have literally blue paint on me. I had my hair. I'll try to find a picture for you guys, but my hair's crazy. I got the blue outfit on. I mean, I look insane. I have a huge beard. Nobody's telling me shit. I'm doing burpees. all day in color and in stuff and painting.

And the Jack officer said, Jimmy, we have a message for you from Admiral Lossi that you can stay in here for the rest of your life. But the outcome will be the same. When you leave here, you are getting immediately terminated and kicked out. And they said, do you understand? And I looked at them and I said, I got finger painting in five minutes. Are we done? And they got the message that I guess that's how it is. So I turned around and I knew that my time was limited and the doctors were going to go ahead and discharge me. And I felt like it was illegal for them to do this. And I'm sorry some people may not understand this mentality, but you have to be there. And so they leave and I know that I have to take it to another level now. I have to take it to the highest level. I can to prove a point.

At this point, I don't even know what I'm fighting for, but I just know that it's not right what the FBI has done to be. So I'm going to go all in. And so, Sean, I go and I hung myself with a sheet. You hung herself with a sheet. With a sheet. With a real, like a real, like I took a sheet and I tied a knot in it every four inches for a long time. I already pre-states this because I knew this was coming.

And it's very, very difficult to do that, to do something to yourself in a naval Bible evental, hell, they watch you. And there's, you know, your pen is like a piece of rubber. You know, there's nothing hard. There's something stiff. Your chair's weighed 200 pounds. You know, you can't pick things up. But I figured a way to do it.

And there was a hole in the wall above my toilet like this big. And I just stuffed it like I was loaded in a magazine. with those knots. And then I launched my, I could put it on my head. And I thought, golly, man. You've never met a guy

that wanted to live so bad and just be left alone and serve his country and give back to my country and give back to God. And here I am on a freaking toilet about to launch myself off the thing. I remember my roommate looked at me,

getting on the toilet with this thing on, and he just goes, oh, man. And he just walked outside, and I just launched myself off the toilet. Holy shit. As hard as I could. And it fractured my neck.

Legitimately. Knowing that they would, I mean, what? I think it was a 50-50. You do this because you wanted to, did you want to die so that it was blood on his hands? No, uh, I, I, I didn't want to die, but I, I, but it was 50, 50 maybe that I would die, do it.

Or something really messed up to me, maybe lack of oxygen in my brain for a long time. So I wake up. I'm out, I'm out blackness. And I wake up and this, this nurse is, you know, on me. And she, she's screaming, but she's kind of choking me out with her foot is right here. And she was real tight. And I fractured my neck. and the doctors now, the same ones that were going to kick me out,

they're crying, shaking, and it was a huge, huge deal. And he got back to Admiral Lossi, and he was like, leave Jimmy alone, let him out. He could do whatever he wants now. Because I said, the next thing is the Coroner Bridge at 5 o'clock. I'll jump off that thing if you let me out here. That's how insane I was.

And I was in math. I mean, it was bad. So they finally said, leave him alone. And Admiral Lossi eventually he was charged or not charged, but he was found to have

11 or 17 complaints against him of unlawful command influence and he was the only Admiral in the Seals to ever not get their second SAR or something like that. And it was I think it was Senator Caskell

that said that one too many complaints on him for unlawful command influence and I know it was fine that they broke the camel's back you know wow wow how did you get down when you hung yourself um I woke up on the ground late laying in the corner like with it like stretched to the max so I didn't I didn't actually hang I launched myself and it was Like, pulled it out of the wall. Yeah, yeah. But it was still in, and they had to get it off.

It was terrible. It was a nightmare. You know, it was a real nightmare. It was a real big show, you know? Wow, dude, that's nuts. Yeah, and I look back and it's like I wish I would have just, at times I would have just, like, walked over, like, what the hell was I doing? I was still fighting for a resemblance of honor and patriotism. and strength, you know, but I look back at it just total.

A lot of it was, uh, John Perrado, huh? John Perrano, the man, the real man. You know him. It's the same John Perado. He was my OIC when I was in Baghdad, and he was a awesome OIC. Yeah, that's probably you. He's old school. He was badass.

With some shit leadership. seal team too jamy sands was our see i don't know if you've heard of that guy uh-uh it was terrible oh he was he was no he wasn't he was the ex-o i think but no that sounds about right i think he just got fired or something uh yeah he's a horrible leader everybody in the sill team's hates that guy god man we're he made it way up of course he did you know of course Typical officer that didn't do shit that went really far, high ranking. Yeah. Yeah.

That's what pissed me off so bad about the imbalance. Here, I literally, literally blood, sweat and tears to get to the seals and to be a seal. But here's this officer that's like kind of handed things on a silver platter, treated so differently. And he's able just to say, you're out of here in today's. And I thought that was so unfairness to it. It was like the wrong guy to mess with me. That's the first time I've heard of John Perado since... Probably 2006.

Well... And I always wondered what happened to him, but I thought he was just an amazing leader. He... It has to be him because if he was OIC with you, that makes sense he would be a commander... Yeah, that was 2006. I didn't realize he was a Mustang. I'm not sure on that, so it could be... I'll show you a picture.

I'll dig one up. Somebody told me that he was... listed before, but maybe he wasn't. Yeah. He made him, man. Maybe I got that off. But, uh, he was bad, man. It's a baddest decision. I've never heard of anything.

Who, I mean, can you imagine going against your boss for some guy that's going to get kicked out anyways? But he just did it off a principle. Yeah. Yeah. He was doing it back then. He was an awesome dude. Awesome leader.

Wow. You had a hell of a story, man. Yeah. Where are we going from here? Well, I think it goes right into Macfee, you know. It's just a big transition to, you know, like I talked about the Joseph in the dungeon story, where he's betrayed by his brothers. He's betrayed by his, I felt like betrayed by my country.

And Joseph was betrayed by his brothers. He's thrown in a dungeon. I'm throwing in the mental hospital. I go through the hanging. And then I get to my house in Valley Center. And I don't know what's going to happen. But here comes the dungeon to the palace. I have no idea that my life's about to change.

I'm basically like crying out to God. I don't even know if God hears me or I know he's real. I never deny him. I never did not God. But I know he's real, but I know he's not with me or he's not answered me because of the hell that I've gone through. All of a sudden, my buddy T-Cav calls me out of nowhere and we had to do with some enforcing work together. What's like getting people to pay the money they owe to whoever they owe the money to, you know. How do you do that?

Yeah. What does that mean? Who hires you to do that? Rich, rich dudes. You know, through connections. Like, you know, I was called up and say, hey, you want to go do this? This guy owes, you know, a billion bucks. He owes it.

He's not paying it for the last, you know, a year and a half. You know, he lives in Canada. Give me his address. Well, you go, you know, you go up to him and you give him a plastic card with the bank wire information on it. And you just give it to them and maybe something happens, maybe something does it, you know, and you tell them, tell them, you understand what this means, yeah? Okay. Because next time, you know, it's not going to be this. And usually they pay.

Because of how do you even get into that? I don't know, Sean. I mean, you know, you get, you get kicked out of the seal teams. Well, I actually retired honorably, but honorable is not on a piece of paper. So retired, I literally was able to retire. I, I, I, when they gave me a choice, after the hanging, they said, what do you want to do, Jimmy? I said, now I want to get out. And I want to get 100% medical.

And they gave me, they said, whatever. They gave me all the bells and whistles. 100% honorable, retired, everything. But honorable is not on a piece of paper. I always say that. I'm committed to that. So how long were you in?

It's total 17 years. Because that counts, my marine time counts, inactive reserves and active, and then my seal time around maybe 17, 17.5 maybe. So you probably, what, you just spent like 12 years, 13 years in the seal teams? Eight years.

Eight years. Eight total, yeah. Eight years in Marine Corps and eight years and... Yeah, a little more over eight than the seals. Shit. And then from that to enforcing... What'd you call? Enforcer.

Be an enforcer. How do you get into that? Well, my homie, TCAV, me, we... He had a boss that owed... A guy owed money. And so we... So I was like... You had a boss who was owed money.

He had a boss. that was owed money by another guy that was living in Canada. And we went up there and stayed for a while and, you know, watched his business, watched his house, watched his business. And finally he came out. He didn't like to move around. He didn't like to come out. And finally he came out one day.

And we, we followed him to his house. And luckily we'd have to do anything to crazy. We just went up there and we grabbed him and we said, you know, you know, you're going to pay this. You know what I mean? We're not Canadians, by the way. We flew all the way here for this. It found you. And you're going to pay this.

Here's the wire information. Already already on this little nice card. You don't have to take it any further after this. All you have to do is pay and then nothing will happen to you. And they're like, okay, you know, okay, okay, okay, okay. Because that's scary, you know, two guys like me and TCAF to come up, you know, to out of nowhere in Canada, at your random house, that's crazy. It's far.

How long were you doing that for? Not long, just a couple months. What does that pay? Well, that could be a percentage of the money that came in, you know, could be, you know, 50,000 each, you know, off a billion-dollar deal. he just wants his money back. I mean, he's willing to pay us a lot because you're not going to get that money back. Anyways. So I get a call from TCAF.

Tcalf is like, yo, yo, bro, you know, what are you doing? I'm like, I'm done with this, man. Last time was scary. He got pulled out of customs in Canada, and I sat on the plane alone without him. And I was like, oh, we're going to get where it's over. And so, but he calls me, goes, hey, you want to, you want to go be security for John McAfee. and I'm like, who's John McAfee? He's like, check your computer, dog.

And I'm like, oh, the McAfee-McFey-Annevirus guy? And he goes, yeah, he's got a nephew in the teams. And he called him saying that he's paranoid, and he wants the best sale out there. Of course, I wasn't by any means nobody. I just got out, though, you know, just out. And I had a payment due on my house, Sean. I would have done it for free almost, just for an adventure, right?

I mean, and think about what I went through. I hung myself. I had a fractured neck that had a heal. I go through all this shit in my life. You know, those guys, by the way, are they in prison right now? I can't even remember. But they will be or they were. And I've been through all this shit.

And then he calls me with this opportunity with John McAfee. And so he goes, don't worry. He'll probably pay you whatever you ask. So he'll call you. I said, okay, okay. I didn't think about it, Sean. And all of a sudden, my phone rings. And I answer it and it's like, you know who this is, boy?

I'm like, who's this guy calling boy, you know? He's like, he's like, it's John McAfee. I said, yeah, sir, I figured that's who you are. He said, he got right down a brass tax. He said, how much you charge? And I was like, he's real raspy, real harsh like that. And I just, I threw it, 500 to a thousand a day. It depends on the threat, I said.

And I didn't know how to balance that. I was just going off of my Blackwater days. you know we how to price that and he goes what the what the hell he goes i buy my green brace i only pay them 250 a day damn it like you're like what kind of like hard ass value and i don't know why but i just was like i was like well it's your life sir and i didn't know how much that was playing into his already paranoia and his emotions and so that was a that was a deal for him he was like okay Okay, like be here tonight then. Because when I said, it's your life and I played on his emotions without knowing it,

I basically won the negotiation. And he wasn't used to lose it because you could tell you didn't want to pay that money. But what he said, you know, when I said, well, it's your life. Like take it or leave it. And he said, deal. He's at 500 bucks, but you got to be here tonight. You got to leave tonight. I said, okay, where?

And he says, I'll give you the short. I fly into Lexington, Tennessee. I mean, Lexington, Tennessee, where the hell is that? It's a dump. There's like a Walmart. I'm sorry if somebody's from Lexington, Tennessee on the audience, but you don't, you don't think you think you're going to go, you think you're going to be the guard of John, the iconoclad technology iconoclad John McAfee.

And he lives in Lexington, Tennessee. You think you're going to go to Belize or Bali or somewhere? No. John McAfee picks Lexington. to Tennessee. It's a big house, and it's tactically situated for great observation. It's up on a heel. It's got a huge clearing around it.

Big fence and attack dogs, big canines and a pit bull named tequila. Yeah, pit bull named tequila. And so I pull up there, man, long story short, I pull up. These dogs are running and jumping and hitting the fence. at me and they're like in the guards like they they they may bite you man you know like just and i'm like i mean i don't want to do this but i needed adventure Sean i'm always looking for the adventure so uh i walk in the the room and these guards are everywhere playing on they look like the stock market the candle sticks going up and down i later found out that's crypto they're smoking weed

they're drinking whiskey uh and this is just not my environment i'm used to have it i'm you know in the seals you would never drink with your pistol on. I mean, it just doesn't go together, right? I mean, unless you're in some weird situation like the island or something. But you're like, you know, you're, it was just odd to see. And so I wait there in the room, in the dark room, there's smoke everywhere. And my first meeting with John McAfee, he comes out the door. The guards are like, shh, because you're being recorded all the time.

It's a very paranoid environment. And John McAfee comes out. And he's got this salt pepper hair with the blonde tips. crazy beard and he comes out and he immediately tells me to go outside with him and we go and we go out and he takes me into the middle of the field and he says you you know he looks at me and turns his face towards me with his eyes he had this crazy crystal blue eyes he was like who's the most feared man on the battlefield and i'm like god i got to play this freaking game you know just to get paid I'm like, I don't know, sir.

And he's like, the oldest man. And I'm like, it's kind of cheesy but kind of true, you know. And, yeah, but when he said that, John, I said, when he said that, Sean, I was like, you know, I'm just going to take his freaking word for it. You know what? I'm going to just go all in and play the game. If John McAfee says that he got raped by aliens last night, I'm abducted in whatever. I'm going to take his word for it. So that's the attitude I have, and that really worked out for me well, because nobody else was taking him serious around him.

And this guy was a genius. And I already kind of knew that. And I knew he was playing games with these guys. And so he was like a mad scientist genius guy. He was incredible. He put me through tests. What countertuce? He put the very first night.

Remember, they're moving around. They're playing this crypto market. Talk about making money with their pistols on. Drinking. It's loud. Who are these other guys? Some of them are X-Green Beres, Rangers. I think maybe a couple of them lied about their background.

They said they were whatever, and I was like, yeah, okay. And they don't know who I am. And John McPhee texts me on my phone and says, hey, you're the only one I trust. Even if it's not true, he texts me. You're the only one I trust. I don't trust anybody or even trust my own wife, Janice. He goes, I need you to be my eyes and ears.

And that's what he tells me outside as well. Well, that night, I wake up and I go to bed with my pistol on my side right here. Not my finger on the trigger, but with my loosely holding this, that 40 shield. And I wake up and I see this like demons standing over me, like on the bed. and his John McAfee, staring down on me, straddled me with his feet on the bed. And I'm like sunk it in. What the hell? Yeah.

And he's like, he's like looking down at me. And I have my, and I have that gun and I pointed at me, oh, like, I'm going to kill this guy. And he's like, are you with me, son? Are you with me? And I'm like, I'm with you, sir. He goes, let's go. He jumped off the bed. We went upstairs.

We stare out this, this glass, this window at night. And we're staring out into the night. And there's, he says, do you see it? And everybody's like, where, where? He's got binoculars at night. And he's just, we're staring there for like, you know, the snipers. You can sit there behind glass forever. But it's freaking boring, terribly boring.

And but John McAfee, he says, do you see it to a guy? And this guy was an ex-ranger or whatever. He grabbed the binoculars and he looked. He goes, yeah, yeah, I see it. It's flashing lights. John McAfee says, you see it. right? Yeah, it's flashing lights. And he goes, I see it. And then John McAfee looks at me and he goes, take a look. You see him? And I'm looking and I can't see anything, Sean. And I, and I just,

I know that nothing's there. And, but everything in my body tells me just say, yeah. Yeah, I see the lights too. You know what I mean? Because you could tell guys were playing off of his paranoia, his paranoia. And man, I thought, you know what? I'm going to get fired, but I'm just going to tell the truth. I'm just going to be straight up. And so I just straight up was like, sir, I believe you, but I don't see lights. I don't. And he was like, are you fucking kidding me? Are you fucking? He goes, they're right there. And I said, sir, I know. I just don't see him. The next day, he comes out with an envelope of cash. I can see envelope in the opening and I know that it's for me to fire me. He, because I know I'm done after that. He's real awkward. He walks outside.

He hands me this envelope of cash. And he goes, go give this to that guy that said, there was a light out there last night. He goes, go fire him. He goes, there was no light. He goes, good job. He walked back in. And I knew right then and there, he was playing major head games with everybody. Why is he wasting his time playing head games?

I don't know. I don't know, Sean. I think it was a mix of alcohol, certain drugs maybe, his own paranoia. and then actual some truth behind it, some truth to, because later on, as we were moving six times in two years, we would see. Six times and two years? Six times we would move. Kind of like an Airbnb situation, but one of the times he literally left his entire, he had museum relics like that belong in the Spisodian Institute. He literally would, he literally would say, are you with me some?

and I would be like yes sir I'm with you and he would say okay grab your back we're going and I was like sir what about what about your house was about this museum there's a 2,500 year old Buddha doll there's a samurai you know the big head stuff and he said leave it he said we get how are you gonna go with that Jimmy you're gonna take it with us he said we don't need it and he would just literally leave he left that whole house in Lexington Tennessee with freaking relics in it. Wow.

Never to return. No. He said, sell it. He said, sell it, try to sell it or something. Dirt sheep, whatever. Sheesh. He had zero attachments to things or people, and that's what made him so dangerous because he had no, he had no, owed nobody.

That or interesting. what are you thinking this whole time? How long, how much time had passed? So you meet him in Lexington, Tennessee. Yeah. How much time are you there for? About Will. Standing over in the middle of the night.

Standing over and me. Burning it through these weird tests. Running me through these tests with money and stuff. Sometimes he overpays me and I tell him he overpaid me. He goes, I don't need it. The next time he grabs it from my hand, he goes, that's what I thought. You know, like the honesty game, he, I, at one point I'm like, sir, don't you need, Don't you need my credentials?

I mean, I was kind of proud of my career, you know, having this, having this fight and stay in like that and still have honorable on there. He goes, I don't need your DD-214. You can front. You can create that out of nothing. He goes, but give me your passport. And I was like, that's pretty wise. So I gave him my passport. He checked my passport.

Stuff like that. He was always doing weird stuff. He was pretty smart guy. And the second, so I'm there for about a year, but during this time, I also ask him, like one of the first days I'm there, he's got bags all by his door, these suitcases on the second day that I'm there. And I said, sir, are you leaving somewhere? I was hoping we would leave somewhere besides Lacey.

He said, well, Trump and Hillary were in that race against each other. You know, Hillary was kind of about to win it. He goes, if Hillary won, I was about to leave the country. I said, I said, why? And this is when I started to realize that we had so close similarities. And I think this is why I became so close with John McPhee, like a son almost, is because we had so many similarities in our stories with the DOJ and corruption. And he goes, Jimmy, he goes, I have information, terabytes of information on any named her, any named three or four other people. people in the DOJ that I knew about, that if I said their name right now, you'd say, oh, yeah,

I know. He goes, and a bunch of other politicians. And he goes, I have horrible, horrible stuff on these people. I have terrible stuff on them. And I didn't know what to believe at the time, Sean. But because of my situation and how the FBI had lied to my commander with the memo, I knew, and he put those guys in prison from Blackwater, I knew that they were capable. of anything. And so he tells me he has three terabytes of information or a bunch of

information on Hillary and others. Well, a couple days later, he brings out an envelope with these hard drives in it and a bunch of cash. He says, we're going to Miami. We go to Miami, me and him in the group, in the group, and he hands it off to two guys in a cafe, the cash in the hard drives. He says, I didn't see the hard drives, but he said this is an envelope and big envelope in the cash. He gives it to these two guys. He walks out and he said, son, I'll never forget, Sean. He said, son, if anything ever happens to me, I did not kill myself. And that information on all these people is going to be released.

I later understood this as the dead man. Everybody kept talking about the dead man switch. Here I am. Having been part of it, didn't even know. know what it was. But so, so supposedly these two guys had this information and they were supposed to release it if anything happened to John McPhee. As crazy as that sounds. What was what was in there? You know? I don't know. He said horrible, disgusting, terrible stuff. And now that we have seen the Epstein stuff, it feels like kind of along those lines. But I don't know for sure.

I'm not going to sit here and say otherwise, you know. Let's take a quick. I've always used power banks when I'm traveling, filming, or running long days, but most of them still leave you carrying extra cords, adapters, and wall blocks. Ridge solves that problem in one clean setup with their five-and-one travel power bank. You've got MagSafe wireless charging, an Apple Watch charger, lightning, and USBC, so every way you need to charge is built into one device. No more packing a bunch of extra cables or sitting at the airport trying to get your phone back to 20%. And with 20 watts of power and a 10,000 mill-amp hour battery, you can get up to three full phone charges wherever you go. The best part is you can pair it with one of Ridge's MagSafe compatible phone cases.

And you've got the perfect everyday setup. Whether you're picking up a new phone or just refreshing your old one, Ridge has cases that work with both. Everything Ridge makes, it's built to last, with free shipping, a 99-day risk-free trial, and a lifetime warranty. One thing to pack, five ways to power. You can find Ridge's power bank at Best Buy, or our listeners can get 10% off at ridge.com by using code SRS at checkout. Just head to Ridge.com and use code SRS, and you're all set.

After you purchase, they will ask where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you. Again, go to ridge.com and use code SRS for 10% off. Looking for another way to support the Sean Ryan Show? Head to Sean Ryan Show.com and check out the latest drops from Vigilance Elite. We just released new gear, including this beautiful moisture wicking VE performance hat and SRS Campfire Mugs, and you guessed it, Vigilance League gummy bears

Oh shit Every purchase directly supports the show and helps us continue bringing you Independent Conversations without compromise Visit Sean Ryan Show.com and grab yours today So we're talking about how paranoid He is From the get go, he's running through all these games

Right Which I kind of get, but at the other hand I don't Well, he was a brilliant tactician. And the thing that I always say with John is everything he said always came true. It's outlandish and crazy as it sound. He would tell these wild stories, but he ended up coming true. So after a while, you're just like, maybe this guy's on to something. Maybe I'm crazy.

Maybe I don't know anything. But I had an inclination to lean towards John with his stories because, of my terrible experience with the FBI, knowing that they would destroy your life if they could. Why is he so paranoid, though? Well, so John was saying that bugs were in people's computers in the 70s. Can you imagine that? And everybody laughing at you all the time. He said, Jimmy, people used to laugh at me.

And I would tell him there's bugs in your computer. And you don't know it. And people laugh. And then he came up with a solution. Well, Napoleon said, You know, you want to be a great leader, point out a problem and then provide the solution. So maybe perhaps John McAfee created the problem and then provided the solution, created the bug, and then created the antivirus. Or perhaps he provided just the solution.

But keep in mind, John McAfee was working on the Apollo mission. He had letters of commendation from Colin Powell, thanking him for his work on the Patriot missiles. intercepting the Scuds during the Desert Storm. So he had a bunch of defense stack. Thank you for, oh, yeah, thank you for your donation of computers. He was always donating the government, all the kinds of computers, and then spying on the government. So he had all this information.

This is true stuff. This is not conspiracy. And he would donate computers to the government. Donating computers to the government. Now, remember. I remember a programmer once tried to correct McAfee on something. He always had these genius programmer weirdos around him. You got to be a real weirdo if you're an excellent programmer.

And he had these guy that one of the programmers tried to correct him. He said, but John McAfee, this, this. And John McAfee looked at him and said, silence. And he said, you don't understand that I was programming computers the size of your house before you were born. So don't speak to me unless I speak to you, okay? Everybody's like, damn. Like he was programming computers the size. You know, computers used to be massive.

There's pictures of him, you know, with this big, you know, the big. And he was, he was a big proponent in eye messaging. McAfee kind of, Macfee antivirus overshadows the, all the real cool stuff he did. He was a big proponent in our eye messaging today. He invented a lot of stuff. Really? He was an apple. He was all, yeah.

He was good friends with Steve Jobs, real good friends with Steve Jobs. He was good friends with Bill Gates, except he said he would rather nail his toe to the floor and starve to death, didn't have another dinner with Bill Gates. He was so boring. He guess he didn't see him on Epstein Island, huh? Yeah, exactly. And I guarantee you McAfee wasn't on the Epstein Island. You don't think so.

McAfee was had a dark side. but I believe that McPhee was tremendously against the abuse of people and especially animals. And I think when you're so against the abuse of animals, it is a childhood inner thing going on where you're protective over human beings too. Like he would rough me up sometimes. He slapped me once, like hard, boom. after a business decision I made, stuff like that. But he was real caring of his animals. And remember, John McAfee was accused of murdering his neighbor in Belize.

And so he goes on the run and he escaped the Belize in government. And so that's when I meet up with him. Right after he comes back from being on the run from the police government. You meet up with him after that. Right after that. What's the story with that? Well, John McAfee literally took me in like a son. and part of maybe his grooming towards me.

I don't know. He was calling me intelligent. And this is the first time I ever hear this, Sean. And so I go from hanging myself last year in the worst of the worst dungeon like Joseph to in charge of his entire empire and to the CEO of his company. Because I'm just running everything. Sorry, I didn't hear your question. I was going somewhere. Doesn't matter.

Keep going. Yeah. Yeah. And so. Oh, the story with the. dogs. Oh. So John got to, you know, that three can keep a secret if two or dead thing. Like, everybody wants to tell their story or their secrets and they have to. And so, but John McAfee was the only one with these secrets. So who does he tell? Not Janus. Maybe Janice. But for me. Who's Janus?

His wife. But for me, he would get me, he would start to drink and he would come sit next to me or he just start telling me stories, dark stories about how he killed his father. He killed his father. Yes. And the way he describes it, I guarantee you he did. I don't doubt him. How did he kill him? Why did he kill him?

Well, he comes from an Irish descent, and his dad was, uh, uh, from war to a very, um, had PTSD. see some real bad stuff in war two and um and his dad would drink and beat his mom and beat him and this goes into the neighbor story of Belize um why I think it's possible but John's was shaking one time he had red bloodshot eyes and he was shaking I you know drinking and he leaned into me and it was like tears and he said son he goes my my grandpa my grandpa was a good man but my dad he was a terrible man he would beat me he has one One time he put my, made me put my arm out on the table and he hit me with a billy club. And he cracked my arm in half.

And he said he beat my mom, son. He beat my mom. And I'd say, I'm sorry, sir. Like, I wouldn't know what to say. You know, I just sit there and listen. And he would just pour this stuff out. And he said, and he says, my grandpa, though, was a good man. And he taught me how to use a 22 long rifle.

And he said, he taught me weapon safety. He taught me how to cross a fence with a long rifle. And he showed me how, you know, and he showed me how to accuracy shooting. And he said, he gave me this 22, Jim. And he says, and he says, but I watched my dad beat my mom over and over. And he put her in the hospital one time. And so I came up to him. And I said, I said, you touch mom again.

I'm going to kill you. He goes, do you understand me? And it's very important to realize that John McAfee, one time I, in a business negotiation, and said, why don't you bluff him, sir? And he grabbed me, he said, you never bluff. He goes, there's a no bluff policy. He had a no bluff policy. He never bluffed, nobody.

If he said it, it was happening, 100%. And so he said that he told his dad that if he touched his mom one more time, he was going to kill him. And his dad beat him for that. And he took the beating hard. And he said, the next time he put his mom in the hospital again, he said he went in the back room,

He picked up the long rifle. He said he walked down the hallway, and his dad was shaving with a razor, straight razor in the mirror, with a shaving cream still on his face. His dad saw him in the mirror, and he said, what the hell are you going to do with that boy? And John raised the rifle and pulled the trigger right behind his head. And he just dropped the rifle and ran out.

And he just slumped over on the ground. And he said his neighbor came out. And said, John, what have you done? What have you done? And he goes, I just killed my dad. He goes, I just killed my dad. He just kept repeating it. And he said, stay here. And his neighbor ran in there. Now, keep in mind, his neighbor has been hearing all this abuse. You know, they had real tight houses back in England. He was born in 1945 in England. But so he's in there about 10 minutes. And he comes out and he grabs John. He says, John, the police are coming. He says, you did not kill your dad. He killed himself. Do you understand me? And he slapped John around. And John said, no, I did. He goes, no, you did not.

And that was that. And the sad part about the story is John's own mother abandoned him after that because she knew what he had done for her. But her loyalty was with his father. So John was very capable of dealing. out death and not having much hope in humanity and trust from his background. So what's the dog story? He loved his dog tequila, the pit bull tequila, and these two canines.

And he had dogs before this in Belize right before I met him. I didn't know any of this at the time, but I knew there was rumor that he had killed. That was the big thing was that the neighbor poisoned John McFeefe. these dogs. And then the neighbor ends up getting shot in the back of the head with a shotgun. And everybody kind of thought, figured it was McPhee. Macfee, of course that don't. It wasn't me. And but one day we came back home. And one of the guards kind of shoved the dog, like kind of kicked the dog. And John McAfee said, you know what happens to people who hurt by dogs, right? And he looked at me and he said, you understand? And I said, I understand. And I said, I understand.

sir like i understand so he was telling me like without telling me i'll kill you you know if you mess with my dogs shit so you meet him right after this right after this right i made him right after this and you know john he he would donate a fire truck he was a brilliant he would donate a fire truck to each town that we went to and each town that he lived in before me too and i said so So why you donate a fire truck? He said, son, he said, you don't ever donate to the police because it seems like robbery. He goes, but what you do to win the town over is you donate a fire truck.

He goes, if you donate a fire truck, you can do anything in that town that you want to and nobody will ever say a damn word to you. And I said, okay. So he would donate a fire truck. And then he said, and then something else about back fee, he treated everybody equal. If you were a bum on the street, you might as well be a billionaire. to him, a billionaire bomb, didn't matter. So everybody was leveled to him.

He didn't see color. His wife is a very well-known a prostitute from Miami that was super black woman. She's a very, very dark-skinned color woman, very, very dark. So he was colorblind. He didn't see color. He didn't judge. He kind of knew you before you even spoke.

Like one time he said, son, come here. And I sat down across from him. And he looked deep in my eyes and he said, son, he said, you're a lost ship in the dark abysmal night at sea. And he painted this dark picture. And I started kind of shaking and started, it hit me hard. This guy barely knew me, by the way. This is kind of in the beginning.

And he went in this big explanation how was this lost ship in the night floating around in the sea? And it hit me hard and it kind of made me emotional, triggered me. And he goes, how do I know? Because I was asking him, how do I know? He goes, and he finished my sentence. He goes, how do I know? And I said, yes.

And he said, because I am that lost ship. And so I had, whether it was through manipulation or whatever, he got me by the, I mean, I would have done anything for McAfee. After what I went through, he pulled me out of hell. I thought. and gave me everything bentley boat houses everything you can imagine was in my name which at the time i thought was amazing but he put everything in my name and uh and i was making i mean just an unbelievable amount of money and so i all of a sudden i go from the dungeon to the palace in charge i got my

own guards you know uh not that i need them really but i'm with back feed and i'm the the boss down. They're calling me boss. And I'm like, don't call me boss. And McAfee reprimands me for that. And so they start. So he's like, don't ever correct somebody if they call you boss. What are you stupid? He goes, they call you boss, your boss. He goes, there can only be one in charge, Jimmy. And so he made me in charge. He goes, I'm retiring. I'm out. You're going to do that. Because he taught me everything in a very short period of time. It was very stressful. He taught me all about crypto and this and this and this and negotiating. But he's negotiated. But he's Negotiations were non-negotiable, so was the easiest negotiation.

I would just sit down with the Russians, some Russian olgaards that wanted to do a major crypto deal, and they would come out with their vodka and girls. I'd say, save it, save it, save it. I'd say, we don't need that. It's just here are the terms. And then, no, no, no, but, but I'd drink. And I'd say, we can drink, we can do cocaine. We can party with your girls all night.

But the terms are the terms. It's non-negotiable. And they'd be like, well, who does this? Bakfee. and he needs to be paid every 24 hours. It's however you want to pay him. Wire, Bitcoin, Ethereum, every 24 hours. If the payment doesn't go through, it's over.

The deal's over. He was charged $100,000 a tweet. $100,000 a tweet. He had a million followers on Twitter, and 75% of them did what he said to do like this. So can you imagine the power you have in crypto? So you name the coin of the day? The coin of the day is Doge.

The Doge price rockets. He makes three or four million. I make a couple hundred thousand in one day. Shit. The coin of the day is red coin. It goes up 100, 200 percent. And then it falls back down. And so I wasn't in this at first, Sean.

And then I thought, what the hell am I doing? John McAfee didn't coerce be into this. I said, sir, how? Do I do this? He goes, son, don't, he goes, don't ever ask for advice, you know, about this business. He goes, just do it. And so I started duty it on my own. I was picking out the coins.

I was doing everything for him. He was looking for a certain volume, a certain mass. And his crypto traders were like, don't listen to Jimmy. He don't know what the hell is going on. He doesn't know about math. He doesn't know about math. He doesn't know the numbers. He doesn't know about crypto.

And John would tell me this. And he'd say, Jimmy, what do you say? Are you sure about Red Coin? Are you sure about Doge, these coins? And I'd say, sir, it has nothing to do about math. That's where you messed up. And he'd say, how dare you? I was a mathematician and all this.

And he goes, and all my crypto traders are saying that you're wrong on this coin pick. How it's going to shoot? I said, you don't understand. You have the power and influence to move this and you don't realize it. I said, so you can go with me? And I was risking everything, Sean. He goes, I got $2 million on this. Are you sure?

And he would go against his crypto traders and go with my word, and the price would shoot up. Because it wasn't me. It was his power and influence. And I figured the numbers, and I was taking chances a little risky too. Well, I was making him millions. And so now I become like his closest confidant, his lucky charm, his Irish, luck thing. I have Irish of me. I mean, he luck and we're both like, like, he's like, Jimmy's my piece of like he's, and he's my protection. Now he won't even go to sleep without me

around. And now I'm like, where's his wife at with him in the room? But if, but, but, but I would sleep real close to his door with the door cracked open and, uh, or, uh, but it was dangerous too because he could shoot through the walls. He would shoot through the door. It was really dangerous environment. Shot through the glass one night. He would just shoot, just randomly shoot. Just randomly shoot. Office pop. Just pie. In the middle of the night, he said somebody was coming in his room. People, people, uh, uh, one time he took the shotgun and ran outside and just blasted

underneath the house with slugs. Well, my room was the basement. And my wife at the time was in there. And I'm thinking, I'm going to get my girl killed here. This is a horribly dangerous environment. Super volatile. So, long story short, Sean. The only time, so I'm running his entire business. He's taught me everything.

And I'm like his lucky charm, his son. We move into a mansion called the Love Boat because it was done after the Love Boat series. It's a mansion that looks like a ship in a weird way. And it was just has an elevator beautiful. and it was on the Ocarcoke sound where Blackbeard used to evade the British Man of Warships in the shallows. It overlooked a sound. My office was huge. It was like this room right here.

It had big glass looking over the sound. And I used to read about Blackbeard and the British Man of Warships in the shallows. When I was a kid, and here I am, come from West Texas. Now I'm running the whole McAfee Empire. I've got so much money. I've got money. I got money. I got money.

I don't even know what to do with. And now I go from that seal with a handgun, not drinking, to doing blow, speed up through a nasal spray. I'm doing everything and anything all the time and running this company. But I'm starting to get paranoid like him. I'm starting to lose touch with reality. Why are you getting paranoid? Probably because I was, you know, you know, Adderall is probably one of the worst freaking drugs out there. I tell you, you know, you stay up for three days and don't sleep. You know,

you know, when you don't sleep for long periods of times, you start talking to your boots, you know. And I think that played into McAfee, staying up night after night. You start having chaotic episodes. I was crushing up Adderall. I was taking all kinds of stuff. His crypto traders were always having big piles of cocaine and girls everywhere. We were flying to Beezah, we were partying everywhere, partying with Russian olgars on their private jet planes. He was keynote speaker at a lot of places. He would go for free because the business that we would pick up there. And I would work while we were on these cruises and travel.

I would have a line of 10, 15 businesses on the cruise waiting to speak to me at the table. I just sat there drank and gave the terms. And I was getting 20%, 30% of it. Jeez. Yeah. So he was a wild. He was part of here, wild man. He would not do drugs in front of anybody.

So I, to be honest, I never saw him do drugs, Sean. It was almost like he was ashamed to do that in front of me. Like, it's like a dad figure. I know that sounds weird. And if he caught me doing it, he would have slapped me around. But we both knew that it was going on in the same house. you know how many places

did you guys move I think we move six time one to okay five times where would you move where'd you go from Tennessee Tennessee to Ocicocke Ocacocke

to Frisco to Ocacocke all along the North Carolina coast there in the love mansion the love boat and so the only time I leave Janice and this is when it gets weird There's people visiting all the time. There's weirdos visiting all the time.

There's the guys that look like they're working for the CIA, visiting, you know. Like people that just don't like get a suit and they go out in the field and talk for a long time with their hands like this. And I don't know if he's involved in the mom, the Irish mom. I don't know what's going on. His uncle Carl was a major player for the Irish mob. We visited him in his office. He did time. He did two years in a Fed.

And the Fed's never ratted him out. So he was a main man after that. And so the only time I ever left John McAfee was one time. And it was to take Janice, his wife, to the airport. She was going to go see her brother that was in prison. That was in a coma. He was beat to death in a coma in prison. And she was really hurt about that.

And in shock. John said, I trust you. to take her, but please come back as soon as possible, obviously. And he was had an anxiety. And Jenna said, why don't you have one of the other guards take, take me? Leave Jimmy here with you so he could be at peace. He said, no, I want Jimmy to take you because you're, you know, and wife, you know. So I took him, I took her to the airport in Virginia.

I drive back as fast as I can. I get back to the loveboat mansion and the doors open. It's just an eerie feeling. I go in, it's hot. I'm like, what the hell? And I'm like, where's the guards? And one of the guards is super bright red. He's been out on the boat all day.

I said, where is the boss? The real boss? He's like, he's in bed. I said, what are y'all doing? You all been drinking or what? He's like, we were out on the boat all day. I said, okay. And so I go to his room, John McAfee's room,

and I'm cautious because you don't want to get shot. So in the fatal funnel, the threshold. And I saw I walk up on the side, and the door's cracked open. I crack it open and he's butt-necked on the bed. He's sprawled out like this, just snoring, you know, sleeping, but heavy. I said, what the hell? So I kind of just go like this and I go lay down on the couch and I slept right in front

of his door on the couch and he would always bust through that door at 6 a.m. in the morning. 6 a.m. in the morning comes around, nothing. I'm like, oh, thank God. I can sleep a little bit. 8 a.m. comes around. Nothing. I go, oh, man, something's wrong. I get up.

I go over the door. and it's closed this time. It was open. It's closed. Like somebody closed it. I go and I open it and he's still in the same position, but he's black and blue. Like I, like dead. Like in making noises like this, he was like,

like, like, rhythmic noises. And I'm like, Sean, I had it freaked out in battle. I was oddly comfortable in war. weirdly comfortable. But that right there, I don't know why, I freaked out. I screamed. I panicked. He was covered in the urine, black and blue gasping.

I knew it was over. I put my hands under him, 220 pounds. It was a heaviest lift I've ever done off of a soft bed, like onto the ground. I just fell back on me. And I started doing CPR, scream into the guards. The guards were not coming up. And finally, you know, I got the guards to call the medics and they, they lie flat in him out. And he goes on a ventilator, life support for three days.

And the whole time, I'm just holding his hand and I'm praying to God. I'm like, God, please, please don't let John McVie die. Please don't leave him. I don't even know what to do if he would die. Like, what would happen? Like, in the, in the, in the, the. doctors come in and say, listen, it's over. He's pretty much dead. Even if he does live, it looks like he's going to be brain dead. And the first thought that came to my mind was, man,

what a tragedy. This guy was this incredible storyteller. He knew Mandarin Chinese, Russian. He could do it in, you know, 18th century poetry. He could say it in different languages. He could destroy interviewers and all kinds of stuff. He had all kinds of tricks. And here he is dying or dead, you know, with a ventilator. This machine. His hands are tied like this, kind of like that, you know, from grabbing the tube. And I hold his hand for three days and three nights, pretty much.

And I'm praying. And on the third day, the doctors are like, we didn't find anything in him. No drugs, nothing, but a little trace amount of THC. They said, do you know what happened, Jimmy? Please tell us if you know something. I said, I don't know anything. Of course, I'm going to say that, but I really didn't know anything. I knew he was snorting like new tropics and weird different stuff, like different stuff,

but they couldn't explain why he was like that. They didn't if I had any drugs in the system except for the THC. So on the third day, he starts to. to like kick and growl growl like erh like and i can see his hands this is the worst case situation for a guy like john mcfie uh to be in this situation with the um with the his hands tied you know because he's like anti all of this and um he he's motioning to i finally understand he's motioning to write something so i put a marker in his hand i loosened his hands up and he writes i'm going to kill you

And scribble big you. Yeah. I'll kill you like that. And I said, sir, I said, sir, it's not me. I swear I didn't kill you. It can't be me. I said, I went to, I'm trying to explain my situation to John and he's dying, you know. I'm like, sir, I don't know what happened to you, okay, but I took Janice to the airport.

I came back and found you like this. He's angry. He's so freaking mad, Sean. He's just, you can tell he's growling and growling. And Janice gets there finally back from California. And I said, Janice, I think he thinks I try to kill him or somebody did. One of the guards, he's pissed. He's going to do something crazy if he ever gets out of here.

And so Janice demands, Janice believes that John is telling her to take out the ventilator. And so Janice goes to the doctors and says, you better take that ventilator out of him. Now, keep in mind, he's been out for three days and three nights. And now he's all of a sudden moving around. They said, if we take that out, it's over for him. 90% chance his lungs are going to collapse. And so she basically said she's going to sue him. And I didn't want to take it out even.

I was like, God, he listened to him, man, because it was so devastating. After long story short, they go ahead and they take it out. They tell, I'll never forget the sounds he made and they took it out. He was coughing of so much terrible stuff, infection and weird. And within a couple hours, he's. He's like, give me a deck of cards. He wants to do his card tricks. He's got crazy tricks, you know, where he can just show you.

He can name any card and show it to you. Name any card. Pull tricks. He was crazy. So when we get back to the house, Sean, I ask him, because I'm curious. I'm real curious all the time. I'm like, I'm like, sir, did you see anything? Did you see anything when you were out like that?

And he looked up me abruptly and he said, don't ever ask me that again. He was scared. He had experienced something in that three days that he didn't want to talk about. But later on, he called me in his room. And he said, son, I was flying at light speed across the ocean floor. Now, keep in mind, John McAfee, I don't know if you want to call him an atheist. He didn't not believe in God whatsoever. Nothing.

He said, I was flying over the ocean floor at light speed. He said, in every dark color in the world, the blacks, the browns, the grays, even dark purple in red, in blood red was in the water. Every dark color, you can imagine. He says, and out of this water as I'm going light speed across the ocean, he said, these hands in these tortured faces came out of the water and up at him, like they were coming from hell and pulling him down. And he said he was being pulled into this. He said it was scary, son. He said it was real scary. He said, but then all of a sudden, he said, out of this corner of his eye, he said, every most beautiful color you could ever imagine in your life was in the sky.

The turquoise, the pinks, the beautiful, you know, all the light colors up there. He says, and there was a white cloud, this bright white cloud. He said it had opened up as he was going right down into the ocean abyss. He says, right when it was opening up, a voice. said, come here. It's time. And he knew that it was time for his judgment. Keep in mind, he doesn't know God or anything. He said, but I knew, son, that I was about to be judged. And my whole life was about to be judged. He said, and I screamed. He goes, it wasn't the hands that scared me. It wasn't the hell that scared me. It was the judgment that scared me. He goes, and I screamed. And he

goes that's when I woke up and I was looking at you. Shit. He told you this in the hospital. Yeah. No, he told me this when we got back. He didn't say anything at the hospital. He told me never to ask him again. So what wound up convincing of him that you didn't try to kill him?

Janice had to talk to him a long time and she said, just logically think about it, John. Jimmy took me to the airport. And when he got back, you're... And I told him my part of the story. And he chose to believe me. He chose to believe it. But it shook me up real bad. Do you think somebody tried to kill him?

He believes that somebody tried to kill him. He said that there was a prick in his toe when he put his shoe on. And that was a way that espionals, the guys that got killed before assassinated, is they poison a, you know, a little thing in his shoe or whatever. But that's about it. There was no explanation for his, what happened to him. And I thought that was freaking weird. The chances and coincidence of me being gone that day and then coming back and he's like that,

that's pretty far out there. That's pretty, you know, wild. How many times did you've been with him when he thought somebody was trying to kill him It was just all the time. All the time. He always thought somebody was after him. We would have cars circle the house a lot, the same cars. We would run their tags.

We were always counter surveillance. There was weird stuff. People, people, I mean, weird shit would happen. And like, I admit it. And I was not, I was very, I come kind of from a background of like logic, thinking logically, not conspiracy. So for me, it was like, I always kind of was like doubting, but I was like, no, that was weird. That was freaking weird.

Like there was to be a guy with a full-blown camera like you, like you're in the movies. And he's spying on you, like obvious with a full-blown camera like across the parking lot, taking pictures and then see us and then like and then run and jump in a car and go, that's freaking weird. It's like sounds like a movie and it's awkward. It's weird, right? Like almost too obvious to. So where do we? what happens when he gets better? Does he get back on his feet?

Gets back on his feet. Uncle Carl has told him to, he's the only guy he'd ever listen to was Uncle Carl, the mob guy. And Uncle Carl told him, you've been drinking, and John McPherson said, yes, sir.

And Uncle Carl said, you know, cut your drinking in half and you're smoking in half. And he said, yes, sir. And he did. He cut it to one bottle a day of scotch and one pack of cigarettes. He was it two, two.

So he cut everything in half, but things are just getting out of control. and spiraling out of control for me and John. Like, I'm doing all this business. I'm up all the time. I'm just running off of fumes, Sean. And it's extremely not healthy. Me and my girl, our connection is not existed.

Like, I'm, like, thinking, I'm providing the best life in the world for you. I used to yell that at her. I'm providing everything for you. Like, like, there's nothing that you don't have. Nothing. Name it. You have bitcoins. You have this.

And, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, and, Not even mini golf I could go out. I had too much stuff going on. No balance. Off my rocker. And I was going to pay for that. And so John McAfee basically has given me everything. And it's all about to come crashing down on me real hard.

And so one night, basically one night, what was he meeting with all the mobsters? about you know you're talking about the russian mob the irish mob all these people what would he meet with it i mean he's a software antivirus guy he just had well uh one of the famous guys for whitey bulger who's in a lot of the recordings the fbi i took he was there at the house as part of our security and he had a direct relation to john macky like his nephew uh and then uncle carl had direct connection to the Whitey Bulger and that the Irish mob being their lawyer and he didn't snitch out.

He didn't rat out what he was caught up and he had to do two years for him. So when he got out, he became a super prominent lawyer. And so there was all these weird connections all the time and people coming over to the house. The Russians were always wanting to do big deals with crypto. They were willing to do anything. for that shit. I had a guy trying to give me 400,000 just to tell him the coin of the day. And I brought him to McAfee and said, tell McAfee what you just told me, you know. I was pretty loyal to a fault, you know. So continue, continue on. So basically, I'm sitting there one night, Sean, and I don't know if it was God or I don't know what happened.

I just basically was sitting there in the middle of this beautiful office. I had all this stuff. And, and I just, I just kind of stopped riding, stopped doing my stuff, and I just stopped. And I kind of felt like it's over. Like, I just knew it was over. It's like, you know it's over, right? I heard that. Like, you know it's over, right? And I was like, yeah.

And, of course, how reliable is this information based off of what I just said about doing Adderall and being up all the time. But I really felt in that moment, a voice tell me to just get out, get out the house. you know it's over. And so maybe it was running off my paranoia. Maybe I had turned into a little mini Macafee. But I just ran from the house. I just took my shit and ran, bro.

I left the gold. I left all my silver. I left everything and ran. And I just left and went back to Texas for three days out in the woods. I needed to separate and get out of there because I was. I started to become delusional. I started... He made it such a horrendous, terrible environment to live in

that you didn't know what was truth and what was real and what was... He had electronic shit everywhere. I'd come in and my drawers were undone. I came in one down in a freaking arrow. As weird as this is, had been shot through the window laying in my room. Like a message, I'm Googling what is arrow being, you know... There's always something. there's a big things

and I just look over and there's a big thing plugged into the wall in my room electronic thing you know one day he calls me in John calls me and he goes look at this son

and I looked and I never went into his bedroom but he called me into his bedroom and I looked at his phone and it was like live streaming everybody's text messages live on his phone

like it would be like if you had your personal phone show and showby and all your people here where you can see all their personal messages. He's sitting there watching this shit? Yes. And he showed me and he just showed me briefly

and he goes, what do you think? And I said, sir. I said, I am so sorry because I was probably talking shit like this old bastard going to run me into the ground. I said, I'm sorry, sir, if I said anything bad. He said, it's okay. Holy shit.

So, I mean, what do you do with that? Like, it's not just some crazy old man it's somebody with unbelievable skills. And you asked me earlier, Sean, like, why would he do all this? If you're so brilliant like John McAfee was, I think he looks at it as a game and he's bored or something. And so he wants to create just a world of chaos around him and manipulation and plants and people, because people would come over and say stuff to me. Like, Jimmy, you know that if John McAfee dies,

there's a million dollars cash under his seat, right? And if he dies, let's not call the ambulance. Let's just me and you go and grab it. I'd snatch him up so fast for saying that. Like, was it a test? Like, at one point, I felt like, you know, I had never done LSD, by the way, until I met my girl now.

Sorry to put our blast, but we, when I was on the run, I met Anastasia, my Moscow, Russian, beautiful princess, you know, and we went on this hiatus of LSD and different, different, you know, mushrooms and all these things, and the festivals and Coppon got everywhere, me and her. And during that time, the only other time I had felt like what I felt like with her at the festival was when I was McAfee. And I remember I had a horrible trip for three days, like something crazy has happened to me. And I thought I had a big paranoid. I thought I had a big PTSD thing happened. I could hear machine guns, people walking around, like a big firefight around me. And I came back and McAfee was like, son, it's okay, it's okay. And he had these three or four big pills that he told me were four reversing horrible trips and stuff.

And he gave him to me. He said, take these, take them, take him. And he said, drink this, a big thing of scotch. And I took it and I was okay after that. And I said, don't fuck with me again, man. I said, sir, you're fucking with the wrong guy. Like, I don't know what, I don't know what you did to me or why you would do that to me. And then I saw a documentary later on that he had drugged women and stuff.

And so I'm like, he would never do that to me like that, like drug me like I pass out. It was like he was pressing me. Why do you think he would do that? I think he was so untrusting, so paranoid that he had to test me all the time. I walked out of the house with my little dog, Tugie, Chihuahua, to walk outside. I walked out just for a five-minute break, Sean. I come back. This is at the big loveboat mansion.

I'm walking back, brother, and the neighbor starts walking towards me. I look at her and I say, stop right there. Don't come close to me. Don't come close to me. Don't, you know, don't walk towards me. I'm telling you don't. And she's like, no, I have a letter for you. It's, and I said, I don't want it. I'm not going to accept it. We're not allowed to accept mail here. We don't get sued. We don't answer it. No court. Nothing ever. You wrap your phones in foil. She goes, it's your freaking bill for your lawn. You're not paid your lawn bill for Hernandez or whatever. And so I said, okay, give it to me. I grab it from her real quick. I go upstairs. and McAfee is just, he's got his hand on his gun. He's just, like, pissed at me, red bloodshot eyes in my chair, my nice chair that he gave me that he would never sit in. He made that on purpose. But this time, he's sitting on it on a power move.

He's like, how fucking dare you, son? He goes, I trusted you with everything. And, you know, big drama. And I'm like, sir, calm down. Number one, you reached out to me. Number two, this is your bill. You got to pay your freaking bill. It's a $50 lawn bill.

50 bucks. And he's like, oh shit. He's like, well, pay that, damn it. And I'm like, no, you pay it, sir. You want to kick me out of here? You want to fire me? None of this shit's going to get done anymore. I do everything.

And so I would go back and forth to the banter a little bit. But not in a disrespectful way, but a little bit. But nobody else would dare do that. You know, we had that kind of relationship at that point. Because he needed me and I needed him. And so I end up leaving and I'm out on this farm for three days. Leaving as then you quit? Yeah, pretty much.

I just left. And I called him back and I said, sir, I think I'm done. I said, all I want is, you know, my 30% you owe me that we agreed on because he was a deal. He's a ban of his word, you know? No bluff. Man, you can work. I said, all I want is that. He said, you, you left me holding the bags.

You know, all this stuff. How dare you? He goes, I knew, I knew I couldn't trust you. I knew I couldn't trust you. And I was like, sir, let's stop all the games. Let's stop all the games. Like, you'll never, you never will trust me. And I never backstabed you.

I was loyal to the death for you, man. And you ran me into the ground. And now this is the fallout from it. So I just want my 30% and be left gone. And he said, well, fuck you, you're not going to get your 30%. And I said, okay. And so I got to think about it. I called him back.

And I said, hey, sir, I said, it took me about a day to come to terms because I wanted to think about it. Because it was real dangerous to mess with. Like, you don't mess with a guy like a master chess player like McAfee. And then it dawned on me, Sean. I said, wait a second. I hold all the cards. Everything is in my name. If he doesn't give me my little 30%,

I don't want his shit, but I have way more leverage than him. And so I decided to get cocky. You know, I drank some. I got some whiskey in me. And I call him up. I said, hey, sir. And he goes, what? I said, now you listen to me, son.

He goes, oh, yeah? I said, yeah. I said, you listen to me. I said, you're going to do exactly what I tell you. And for the first time ever, I win. I said, you're smart, but you weren't this smart. And I said, now this is what you're going to do. I said, you're going to give me 30%, or I will freaking steamroll you into the ground with everything that I have of yours.

All your property, everything is mine. And I said, do you understand me now? I'm treating him real bad. And he's like, are you done? And I said, yeah. He said, oh, you know that beautiful? little princess of yours you're my ex-wife which was my wife at the time I said yeah he goes she signed everything over to me Jimmy I said shit I said I said I said how he goes you know what

a power attorney is and I said I said all I could say is well done I said well done sir I said, you the boss. Now I will do whatever you say. He goes, now, now, now I'm going to do what I want to do. I'll give you your 30%. He goes, but I'm going to take a little off for your little disrespect. Disrespectful phone call. Hey, do you play big boy games?

Bill, uh, J.B. Bonnie, the Bullrider said, you, you play the game. You better get ready to endure the pain. shit so betrayal but i kind of had it coming you know i could i i didn't have much to stand on i didn't have much to fight back with i didn't have a lot of leverage to fight back with i i couldn't say how dare you of course i did i called my wife at the time and keep in mind this is you know always in forever forever always our quote our passwords everything you know always in forever forever and always love you. This is a girl that I carried up the stairs in the seal teams when she broke her neck

and I wiped her ass and bathed her, you know, one hour of sleep at night as a team leader. Did she know that? I mean, she totally, she totally 100% went behind my back and signed everything over to John McAfee. I forgive her. And I don't even, I can't have much room to blame her because I just totally like separated. from her. Now, you don't do that to somebody, of course, but, but, and trust me, I had my fallouts. I had my crying and, and on the ground biting the carpet, grimacing, and, you know, it was, it was a, it was hell to, to lose everything overnight, literally, quite literally, everything

overnight. I went from extreme millionaire to, uh, zero. I mean, not zero, but, but pretty much. Not much. Not much when you have them. And the betrayal. I said, I called my, I'm not going to name her, but I said, I called her. I said, how, God, I never forget sitting there. The betrayal of that. I just, I couldn't imagine, like, everything we've been through for seven years and the

teams and going through what we went through, the hanging and all that. And I said, I gave you everything. And I was setting up a lie for us, you know, all those 23-hour days, you know, were for you, you know. That's how my mind is to provide. And I said, why did you do it? She said, because it's, it's his stuff. And I'm like, what the?

Like she was like just like somebody like brainwashed her. Yeah. And that's what he did. He did that to people. He had that effect on people. It's over after he gets a hold of you. Wow. So later on, Sean, I find out.

that there was a reason why she did that. It was the payoff for her. It was Bitcoin. So she got a big payoff to sign everything over to him. And I played a game, and I lost at that one. It was a hull of a ride, you know. What happened to him? Huh?

What happened to him? Uh, John? Yeah. Uh, sorry. John McAfee goes on the run because he's already kind of on the run always anyways from himself. I'm at the ranch. I met back in my place and I had a beautiful 15 acres in California prime real estate right in L.A., right next L.A., had a beautiful property. And I'm out there by myself and, and, uh, I get a call.

And it's from the FBI, the two agents. They say they are. They say, Jimmy. And I'm out there shooting lizards off of rocks with my 22 rifle. That's all I would do all day is shoot my 20s. That's all the thing that would take my mind off. I would just shoot the 22 rifle all day for days after that magnitude. You know?

Because I was kind of a shock of what happened to me. It was total everything gone. My girl's gone. She won't even talk to me. Like, it's over. It's like she left with somebody. I don't know what happened. And, like, just ghosted you.

I'm talking like, ghosted. host, everything, like, took care of, just, just, just, I looked at the bank accounts and I, it would take a forensic auditor to go through that. It looked like 20 bank accounts she had opened up and money just going like this. And it happened real quick and it was all set up. It was all like her little way to get out. Shish. But like I said, I don't, I don't have any ill will towards her.

I kind of like well played as well. I'm like, good job, you know, you know, did what you got to do, you know. It's easier to say that now because my life has been redeemed, but it would be very hard to that point. So two FBI agents call me and they say, Jimmy, will you come and talk to us? And I said, who is this? And they said, this is the FBI. I said, bullshit. I said, you know, I'm the FBI too, I said to him.

And after my dealings with the FBI, I wasn't going to play around. And they said, no, this is really the FBI. I said, prove it. They said, well, we went to your parents' house, and your sister said to never, that you told her to never, under any circumstance, talk to the FBI. And I said, okay, that's, okay. I said, Roger that. And so I said, what do you want? And they said, we want to talk to you about your time with McAfee.

And I'm like, this cannot be happening to me. Who gets shrugged by lightning twice? The Blackwater thing. And now the FBI again, and you can imagine the shock of this. I was just like paralyzed with like, wait, the FBI is talking to me now again. And I think that they are literally investigating me now. And so they said, will you come up and see us tomorrow? And I said, 100% I want to work with you guys.

I would love to. And they said, you will? And I said, yeah, would love to you. I said, when do you want to meet? And they said, tomorrow, our secretary. The director of the DOJ is going to call you and set up a, she's going to email you and sets your tickets up. I said, okay, can you get first class for me? Yeah, sure.

The next day I go to the airport to catch my flight and I get on a plane to Colombia. And that's the last time I'm in America for two years. Wow. Two years. I ghosted them, yeah. And that pissed them off. Almost two years, yeah. Why did they want to talk to you about McAfee or the other?

Well, when I ghosted him, he was arrested almost simultaneously as me ghosted him. Really? So almost like me going to Washington, D.C., I felt like they were going to arrest me there. So instead, I go to Columbia and they arrest him like that. They arrest him going from Spain, Barcelona, I think, to Turkey, Istanbul. And so he's on the run. He gets caught. Now I'm on the run.

and they need, but they need both of us to really, to either get me to turn on him or to, or what? I don't know, they need to get both of us. We're going to stay and try together, right? So he gets put in a Spanish prison, and I go on basically the run for, I don't know how long it was, maybe close to two years, but either way, I'm staying in Medellee in Colombia.

we talked about that a little bit. And what else is there to do in Colombia? You know, for a green go like me is to do as much as drugs as possible. Cocaine and party and escape, escape, escape, escape. And it's not like I'm trying to hide from the FBI. I know that they just picked up McAfee from Turkey to Istanbul. They could easily pick me up anywhere they won't. And plus, I needed to work.

I needed some cash. And so I started doing real mercenary work, not like blackwater stuff, but kind of crazy stuff in, in, in Nicaragua and said Salvador to pick up money. Like what? So I was going through the airports. Like what? Like what? Like, well, when I was in Medellin, I was doing the cocaine and all this. And I said, I'd need to pick up cash, right?

And kind of like the enforcer thing, I called my buddy. And I said, dude, do you, in the teams. And I said, you know, you're only a couple calls away from a gig, you know, some type of gig. Like if you want to get into it. And I said, bro, do you know anybody that is doing actual shit, like mercenary type stuff? And he goes, yeah, I know this guy who does this and this and this. I said, well, put me in contact with you. And just so happens, this guy contacts me.

And he says, I'm going to send you to another dude. He was in the teams at the highest levels. And he's going to text you on Telegram. And he's going to give you instructions. And I said, okay. And I get a message on Telegram. It says, are you down? You down?

And I said, yeah, I'm down. I said, yeah, I'm down. He goes, well, keep it short. Like, don't talk much. And I said, K, you know, K, he's like, he starts giving me instructions. He goes, go to, go to El Salvador. And he goes, I'll give you 10K to listen to the operation, to listen. And if you don't want to do it, you don't say another word, take the 10K or in a little less

to 10, so you don't have to declare the customs and go back home. All you have to do is come listen for 10K. And if you decide to do it, then we'll come together with another deal. I said, deal. So I go to El Salvador first and pick up some money for them through it in a suitcase, which is really weird. And then I go to, I fly to Nicaragua and listen to their proposition. And it's a ex-Mussaud guy. And then it's dirty from the teams from Red Squadron.

I think it was from Red Squadron. Sorry, Dirty, if I messed it up. But he's there. Me and this Musad guy claims to me. And pretty gnarly scar on him. He looks pretty rad. Like, he looks down, you know?

And so I meet him at a coffee shop. And they said, come to Nicaragua as a Colombian. I'm sorry, come to Nicaragua as a as a surfer or volcano watcher, right? And so I go, okay, but I don't have a surfboard, you know. So I show up and they tell me about what they're going to do. They said, now listen to what we're going to do. They said, we've been tasked by the El Salvador government to kidnap the ex-president of El Salvador who is now exiled in Nicaragua here in this country.

But the problem is, and I said, no problem. easy, you know, snap, snap, snap, and we roll. And they're like, no, it's not that easy. They want him alive. And I said, they want him alive. They want us to, you know, take him alive out of the country. I said, how? I said, well, they said, that's for us to, if you decide to do this with us, we have

to come up with a plan. We got into Airbnb here. We're volcano watchers, surfers. We've got some contacts here. We already did a penetration test. his body cards didn't do anything when one of us walked up to him, but we think that compromised the situation. And I'm like, oh, man, they said, how much for this to happen?

I said, I don't know, man, 400 Gs, I don't know. But you got to wire it to my mom and they're, you know, first. And they're like, we can't do that. It's got to be after it's done. And they said, but there's a promise to us from the El Salvador government that you will, that we will get to take out the MS-13 gang if we're successful. with this will go on the hunt for MS-13 members and just kill as many as possible in El Salvador. Now, this is before the El Salvador picked up their game.

This is, and this is actually right under the new El Salvador president because he promised within his first six months of office that he would get that ex-president of said Salvador alive in Stantrall because he had stole. millions of dollars of the people's harder money and spent it on himself. So we were tasked to do it by ourselves. So we had a bunch of shots of ketamine. We had a bunch of different, a bunch of different stuff that we're going to shoot him up with. We were going to grab him, shooting him up with,

tape him to a surfboard, swimming him out to a cigar speedboat that we had got from a contact that was waiting there every night. And then link up with the El-South. Navar Navy that was going to take him back into their country. And now we were flying back and forth meeting with El Salvador government officials. We were, we were meeting with CIA guys from America here. I won't go into it too much because it's connected to people now that are there here now.

But it was unsuccessful. I wish I had a really sexy story to tell you and everybody. But that's how you know it's true when it was absolutely unsuccessful. We tried. We really tried. And I said, if you wanted him dead, then we would have been able to do it. Easy. Easy.

But the fact that they wanted him alive and he was in some compound with Nicaraguan Pitbulls, I didn't even know existed. They're actually called Nicaraguan Pitbulls, I guess, two of them. And to go in there and try to get him alive was an impossible task. Sheesh. And we tried. Take a quick break. Airport.

Hotel lobby, coffee shop. You join the free Wi-Fi without thinking. Because everybody else does. Understand what you just did. You put your traffic on a network that you don't own, that somebody else configured with people on it, you can't see. There's a term for that. Uncontrolled environment.

I've worked in them. You don't go in without cover. Glaciers Vee. VPN encrypts everything leaving your phone the moment you switch it on. Your traffic, your location, sealed, device to server. On their network, it's on. Back on yours, it's off. That's not a setting, that's discipline.

I'm a co-founder of this company. I didn't put my name on somebody else's product. I helped build the one that I needed. Glacier, download it on the App Store. remember. Privacy isn't paranoia. It's protection. Do you ever wonder what it takes to make an episode of the Sean Ryan Show? In this exclusive studio tour, I'm taking you behind the scenes for an in-depth look at every part of the operation, from the editing room in the main studio to the spaces where we film Range Day, content, and more. You'll see how the show comes together, meet some of

the people behind it, and get a closer look at the work that happens off-camera. When you become a member of the SRS Patreon community, you get more than just the podcast. Watch new episodes early alongside other members, join monthly live shows with guest Q&As, and submit questions, just like you see on the show, for upcoming guests on the protector tier. You'll also unlock exclusive Range Day videos, behind-the-scenes content, and premium ambience videos that you're not going to find anywhere else. Join the Patreon community today and get access to the full experience.

All right, Jimmy, we're back from the break. Right. We're in South America. Right. What makes you want to go on the sailing trip here? Well, I'm so lost at this point. I think spiritually, mentally, physically exhausted. I went from the bottom of the barrel to the top of the palace with McAfee, and now I'm somewhere

in purgatory, maybe. I started to think sometimes, like, maybe I died in Iran. Maybe I lost my life and I'm still being worked on in the streets of Iraq. Maybe I died and I'm in purgatory because my life is so unreal weird. And now I'm in Colombia by myself as an oil painter. And, you know, I'm so lost, Sean, that at some point I decide, like, after like a three or four day Coke binge, and I'm talking about running through lines, I mean, wrecking Coke by myself. Well, with a bunch of girls.

I would bring these girls in and just party, and then they would leave. And I would just wreck myself even further for days. And after about four days of this one time, days and nights, I decided I'm going to baptize myself after a three or four day Coke binge. And so I baptized myself in this big jacuzzi. And I came out and, you know, that's the kind of mess I was in. Like, that's how effed up I was. Like, I was lost, and it was such a dark place.

So I had to get out of Columbia. The problem is every time I would travel, every time I would travel in the airport, you know, I had this horrible paranoia about me. But you know what they say about Russian spies? If you're a spy in Russia, you never break character. You don't even whistle an American tune in the shower while you're taking the shower. You never, ever break character. So I took that persona on, even though I knew they could arrest me.

So in customs, they're always. taking me out of the customs line by myself into a private room. They take my bag for an hour or so I always miss my flight and they come back and they say, okay, Jimmy, go on your way. And, you know, a normal person would be like, hey, what, I'm filming this. What the hell I'm going to put this on? So you, like, how dare you? Me, I'm like, okay, thanks, you know. And so I know something's not. I think, you know, they're tracking me. And so I decide, I'm going to go to Spain and I'm going to sell around the world. Not around the world, but around. you know, stay out at sea as long as I can for as long periods as it can and just try to lose, you know, just, I just want to be left alone.

And maybe something will happen with the McAfee thing and they'll just lose, forget me. So I go learn to sell. I get my level one through four certification selling. I felt like I needed, you know, the old seal in me, the old soul, you know, marine and seal wanted, you know, to do it the proper way still, get the documentation, get certificated. You get certified. and learn to sell. So I learned to sell a 42 foot bit of tow. And I'm out for about four or five days.

And I bobbing up and down in the sea at night around Abiza, Spain, and the coast. And I'm just like, oh, my God, the sailor's life is not for me because you got to deal with your demons out here. I mean, all day, you're out there, you know, and you're having to live with all of this betrayal. My girl, all this crazy stuff. And so I say, I got to give me a girl. I got to give me a good girl or something. I don't know when I get off this boat. I get off the boat and I meet.

That's what Anastasia comes into my life. Right after I get off this boat, I look like a piece of leather. The salty, I mean, I don't know how guys stay out there for so long on these salty. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not for me, brother. And so I get off and I find Anastasia. And she's just like a breath of fresh hair. She's just like this.

I always joked around. My buddy once said, Hey, you need to find you a Mongolian princess, bro. And I was like, Mongolian princess? That sounds freaking awesome. So I would jokingly say I'm going to marry a Mongolian princess. Well, you know, the Russian, you know,

Changis Kong made the Russians pay taxes for 400 years. You know what I mean? And so there, there's that bloodline in the Russians. And my girl, Atestasia, spelled with two eyes, she walks up to me on her first little date. And she's got, and she's like,

my name is Anastasia, spelled with two eyes. She says, I'm a direct descendant from Mongolia, Changs Kong or something. And I was like, I love you, girl. Let's have babies right now, you know. You know, let's get pregnant, girl. And so she's like, so she shows me pictures on her phone. And I'm like, whoa, what is that?

You know, this is before AI, you know. And she's showing me these pictures of paradise, man. And I mean, this is what I've been searching for. Me on my own, I found Columbia. I found this place. Spade. But it wasn't what I was looking for. And she shows me these pictures of Kupangan, Thailand.

I don't even want to mention the name because, man, it's such an awesome paradise, man. But she shows me the pictures. I go, let's go there. And she doesn't know me from anybody. And she's like, uh, and I'm like, come on with me. I said, I'm not a serial killer, I swear. I said, I'll pay for everything. I'll pay for everything.

You'll have the, I got money. You know, I did it, this, this. And she's like, okay. And so she doesn't show up the next day. And I figured that's going to be the case. She probably saw the white powder in my nose. God only knows. She even said that I had white powder in my nose on our first day.

And I had to go clean it out. And I was like, oh, my bad, you know. And I was loose, man. But she showed up on like two days later. She was about to go back to Moscow. And she said, okay, you want to go to Kobonga? And I said, yes. And so, I mean, it was like a breath of fresh hair.

Anything was better, you know? And so I go on this journey with her to Spain. We go through every single different kind of, you know, mushroom, all the, all the different trips you could have. Well, no, not all of them, but almost all. And we're there for a while. all of a sudden, COVID happens. I remember being with my girl laughing at people with the mask on in the airport. It's like, what the heck are people doing with these masks on?

COVID? Are you freaking kidding me? Well, you know, it happened. So I eventually, I'm doing Muay Thai training, you know, I'm always going for the next validation piece, you know? And so I'm doing some Muay Thai there. It keeps me from the drugs, you know, a little bit, still doing Zay. X, all kinds of stuff. I got like a pharmacy,

walked around with a pharmacy with me all over the place. And I end up saying, telling Anastasia, I got to go home. And I got to see my mom. I just need to see my mom. And then I'll meet you in Bali. Non-extraditionary country, which is bullshit. If you're thinking about going on the run right now, you know,

there's no such thing as non-extraditionary. They just do a deal with the government and get you. And so, I go home to see my mom for two days. And I get my Bali visa. I go through an Asian. I'm getting this, this, this, this. And I just thank God I'm not arrested at the airport.

And I'm trying to stay low. And I'm like, Mom, I need to talk to you. Let's go out to get coffee. And so we go to get coffee, me and my mom. And I sat in front of her, Sean. And I mean, I know there's probably listeners right now that have lost a loved one or how to say bye for the last time and know that feeling. And I, for me, I was telling my mom, bye for the rest of my life this time.

Because I knew that I could never come back unless they somehow cleared this case or something I found out good news. But it was too risky. And so I said, mom, I got to go for the, you know, for a long haul. I don't know when the next time I'm going to see you. And like any good mom, she said, well, I would rather you be out abroad. and then sitting in prison for the rest of your life, you know. Shit. Yeah, because McAfee was under heavy charges, you know.

And I do the prison life wasn't for me. I just a caged animal, you know. No, man. And so I said, okay, Mom, I said, I appreciate you understanding me. And we walked from there to the car and on the way to the car, Sean, I got this piece that came across me. me and I thought it was a drug kick and I thought it was Xanax or something I took and I know I didn't take thing because I wanted to be real sober with my mom and uh and this piece came across me and I said

dad must be praying for me she goes why I said I don't know mom I just know that everything's going to be okay like I know like I just knew from that moment on that like it was going to be okay my life and man right as I said that about three or four black SUVs not cop cars. I'm talking like black SUVs slam up right up on me and my mom. The guy's got his finger on his trigger, shaking.

And he said, Jimmy Watson? He opened the door. Jimmy Watson. And I say, yeah. And I put my hands out. And they said, get on the ground. And they, about 15 FBI, plane clothes.

I got video of it. You got video of this? Yeah. I will show you guys. Yeah. My mom took video of it. A piece of it, yeah. Shit.

They, you know, get me on the ground and everything. And they said, we got him. We got him. They were so happy. And I said, oh, you guys are badass resting a seal, yeah? And I was making fun of him and stuff, you know. And they were like, hey, shut up. You know, you know, they didn't even really know what they were getting me for.

I don't think they were just tasked to get me. They said I was an armed fugitive on the run ex-davis seal. And so I was considered horribly dangerous. dangerous. It's really sad, huh? And that's why they had the Dallas SWAT team, they had the Dallas SWAT team there, the cordon off the whole area, the plainclothes guys. Wow. And they put me in handcuffs, Sean, and they put me in the back seat. And they were asking me questions, how many pull-ups can you do? You're in the seals? I said, take these handcuffs off and I'll show you, you know? I'm just like, I was trying to be humorous and joke around,

but I knew my life is over. And so there, so, um, they haul me to the county in Dallas and then straight, no court, nothing, just straight to the big fed, the big federal prison with the Tiger King. And I'm in the same pot as the Tiger King. I didn't see him really, but I heard he was in there because right when I, right when they, I mean, they had me in shackles, man. I'm talking foot to check. chain to hand shackle, the whole thing, like crazy.

And they put me in solitary confinement for four days straight, four or five days straight. And that was my, that was their F you to me for stiffing them on the first class tickets to Washington, D.C. And I said, fuck it. I said, fair enough. But it was pretty brutal. Solitary confinement for a guy like me fighting these demons. Oh, man, brother. And now I'm just pacing the walls of.

rage. I'm just like, my life is done. And I'm like, dude, I am going to go to prison forever. And this is going to be my life. And after about four or five days, I remember them, they said, you know, back up. And we're talking in the hole, the shoe, no light.

The bright, bright, bright lights during the day, but no outside. And, uh, and they bring me out into a little It looks like a dungeon in there. And I'm just like, damn, my life sucks. Like, wow. How you get to this, you're right? And you, you, I get taken in this little room and my dad is hired a lawyer, but I'm

going to pay him. You know, he said, you're paying this guy $50,000. I found the best, I tried to find the best lawyer possible defense lawyer. And Arnold is his name. And he looks at me and he said, Jimmy, if you put a one, a one on a dice of a thousand sides, he goes, that's your chances. If I were older right now of just doing two and a half years. He goes, you're going to do most likely 12 years.

He goes, that's your best bet. And I was so mad. I said, I paid you 50 Gs to tell me this. I just, I just paid you 50,000 for this. And he's like, Jimmy. You are done, and it's over. I'm thinking, do I get another lawyer? I mean, but he was so cold with me.

It was like, damn. He goes, I don't even think you can get a good deal with these guys. I mean, what is it? But you got to wait until McAfee gets back. So McAfee's now in prison in the dungeon, in Barcelona, Spain, and now they got me in the feds. Now, now the FBI wants to keep me on lockdown. like an animal. They want to keep me and then transfer me from Dallas, not Dallas, Fort Worth,

feds to upstate New York or the Southern Manhattan District in New York. They want to keep me locked down. You don't transfer me. Pre-trial confinement. Because I'm of danger to society. There's two main things when they're deciding whether or not to put you on house arrest on pretrial confinement is, Are you a danger to society? Okay, seal, you know, which we're not, but, you know, we're looked at like that by them. And are you a flight risk? Well, I was a flight risk, you know, I wasn't anymore. And so they put me on, they, so I go in front of the judge, a Texas judge, and the DOJ is there to fight their case and keep me in.

They want to keep me on lockdown. And I'm praying to God. My chances are slim, though, just to go on house arrest. And so now I'm just fighting to go on house arrest for this pre-trial so I can stay at trial with McAfee. But it was a Texas judge. And they introduced me as a former seal. And he goes, wait, wait, wait. You say former seal?

And they said, yes, on your honor. He said, y'all want to do what to you? We want to transfer him to New York and keep him. This guy has a risk. This guy is no joke. He's been on the run for two years, sir. You know, they've really fight. to keep me locked the lockdown.

He goes, we don't do that this south of the Mason Dixie. And they were like, damn. And so he said, release him. He's going on house rest with his mom and dad. And he goes, you're going to run, son? And I said, no, sir. He goes, you better not, or I'll fry your ass. And I said, runs that.

And so they put me on house arrest and the FBI is mad again. They're angry. They keep losing in a way. and so I go on house arrest and now McPhee at this time and this is a very important part of the story that people are interested in including myself and don't quite understand but John McPhee from prison in Spain he's been there for a long time by now and from prison he tweets Janice you know people go how do you tweet for prison well you had your loved one tweet what you want.

Tweets from prison, Sean, that if anything happens to me whatsoever, I did not kill myself. And if something does happen to me, the three terabytes of information that I have are located and it gives the exact address of the Surfside Miami condo, period. That's two weeks before his death. He feels death upon him. He feels the pressure. I've lived this in my mind. Okay?

Everybody sees the tweet. Everybody sees whacked on his arm. Everybody knows that if anything, he's made it very clear. I did not kill myself. And if anything happens to me, you know that it was not me. I want to live. And that if it does, the information is located at the surfside condo. And he gives the address of this nice condominium in Miami.

Okay. Did you've been there? I've never been there. Never. Two weeks later, on the day John McAfeeus loses his extraditionary case, meaning he's now being transferred

to back to America to stand trial with me, that day, they find him dead in his prison cell hung, hung in his prison. On the day, you find out you're leaving prison, just from my short stint in solitary confinement, the day you find out that you're leaving yourself, you don't kill yourself. You're very happy to move from one place to another, even if it's a short distance.

He's going to get to go back to America. He loved the cameras, sensationalism. He loved the drama. I mean, this was his show. He was going to fight this tooth and hell. but he's found dead and then the very and then the same uh and then two hours and then two hours after he's found hung in his prison cell the miami surfside condo collapses what the whole building the building the building collapses at 1 20 a.m i think 1 30 a.m maybe 2 30 but two hours later maybe

the building collapses Sean some people go oh it was only partial it was building seven to the ground homie like like a collapsed one engineer said for a building

to collapse like it did is like astronomical and he's not even talking about the Macf he doesn't even know about the Macfrey thing he's just talking about structurally as an engineer for a building to building seven to go down

And I'm not one of these conspiracy guys. I'm just telling you what happened. The building went down, crashed to the ground. And they had to explode parts of it, of course. And what makes it weirder not to pick on the people that are already been picked on every day for the last two years, but the IDF is sent in to investigate the building collapse. An investigation team, you can, people, please, please verify this, look it up. It's all over.

The IDF Israeli investigation team has sent in to personally wall it off and handle it and no one else is allowed to touch it. How, now, I don't, I'm not trying to say, I'm just telling you the facts, but I'm not trying to say anything. I'm just, I'm just, at this point, I'm just saying the facts. I'm not leading anybody into any kind of presumption of them doing it. I'm just saying because they're experts at buildings collapsing and killing a bunch of people. Wow. A hundred people are killed. Holy shit.

And when you think about it, Sean, like, it took me days. And then, let me guess. We never heard anything about it ever again. No. No, not on mainstream. Nothing. He literally said three terabytes of, like, and it was. like the EPSC files are located in this address and then he's hung and then the building goes down

two hours later at 1.30 in the morning and everybody knows about the surfside condo. Everybody thinks it's weird. They eventually came up. Oh, and then after we released all this information by the way, Sean, the FBI, the government came out with some crazy explanation of why he got so much heat. They had to come together with some crazy, the pool was like, leaking. The pool was leaking. Yeah, there was a pool leak. Buildings do not...

We're talking like this thing came crashing down and killed unfortunately 100 people, I think. So what do you think? I don't know. I don't know if it was Macfee's last F-U trick, master chess player. I think the chances of him

off at himself or being Epstein or whatever you want to call it are freaking slim. I guess anything's possible in this life. I've learned that anything is possible. But I presume that maybe he was killed and then they, they were like, it's better if McAfee doesn't come home. So rush that in, rush it.

And it's not hard to greenlight somebody in prison. Everybody knows that by now. That's nothing to do. So that's not, that's easy. That's an easy one. So that's very possible for him to be killed by somebody else. Why do you think they would level the building? Why wouldn't they just break in a condo and take the damn hard drive?

Yeah, exactly. He didn't name the actual condo door. He just said in that building. Also, after I released the story on my social media, I did a little story on it. A guy contacted me and said he was the, owner of a demo company and the government called him as the owner and said would he do the job of the debris as well and he said yeah i'll have all my trucks come to it they said no no no we just want one truck and you have to drive that's what he told me he says and you just do exactly like

we tell you and he agreed to for a bunch of money and he would drive in and anybody that knows about the surfside condo knows it's weird that I mean, they had this thing walled. I mean, it was crazy. They had it guarded on lockdown. You couldn't come in. You couldn't go out. He said he would take his one truck with blacked out windows with a black tarp in the bed, pull in.

One truck. Just a little bit of debris would go in his truck. And then he would have to give him his phone and then get back. And then he would be escorted across Florida into another gated compound with guards. I know this sounds good. Take his phone, black out of the windows, take the stuff. out the back of his truck and sit through it. And the IDF is doing this for the most part in the surfside area.

Why? I don't know. What do you think you had on everybody? So McPhee had a no-bluff policy, so he never, he wouldn't lie to you. Now he would play games and deception and stuff, but that was different. when he told me that it was disgusting, vile, horrible shit on those people that he named

in the high government, in the DOJ, I assume that's exactly what he meant. And lo and behold, there's been people that said that he was disgusting and vile and horrible back. But I always have said, said the enemy always accuses you of the exact opposite of who you are. So I'm the killer of innocent people, monster.

I was literally in Iraq, Afghanistan, to do a real job and save people. I really wanted to. Now, I ended up doing horrible things in the process and not even meaning to. You're a liar, a cheat, a stealer. Well, McVellie said Devere in a game where everybody cheats. So you could call me that. But the crypto game, there was no old ladies with two, three computers looking like your studio here, you know, doing trades and getting robbed. These were highly proficient crypto players back in the day.

You had to be on your A game. Programming nerds doing this stuff trading crypto, lightning speed. and so everybody playing the game was in the game to pump and dump. Stuff that now, by the way, is considered perfectly okay to do. How did it go? I mean, so what's the rest of your house? How's the rest like? Okay.

You got to be trials or anything like that? Yeah, yeah. So, I know this sounds crazy, but the same night that John McAfee dies, I wake up the next day, right? I wake up, my phone says McAfee, his, sorry, that night, okay, I couldn't sleep all night, the night that McAfee dies. I, my mom told me, Sean, that no matter what, no matter how horrible it got, if I was dying in Iraq or Afghanistan, to cry out to Jesus, to cry out to God. I never forget her to say that.

She always would get me and say, Jimmy, remember, before I would leave, she goes, just say, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, like three times, like loud. And man, I might as well be dying. I might as well be dead. I might as well be in Afghanistan, Iraq, dead. So I, at three in the morning on house arrest, I yelled out, Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, help me. I said I'm not looking to get out of prison because I deserve it in some way or another, even if I did it or not.

It doesn't matter. I deserve it. You know, whatever's coming. I deserve it. So I'm not asking to get out of prison. I'm asking for a real relationship with you. I just, I wanted something tangible to feel something.

I didn't care about prison, nothing. All I cared about was a real longing for something to happen. And the next day I wake up and I said, I'll do anything. Just please show up in my life. And the next day I get a text with my lawyer, that says McAfee's hung in the prison was found hung and I can't even process it.

I'm like, what? No, no. I'm like, no. And then a call, a stranger calls me right after. And I just answer. And he goes, Jimmy. And I said, yeah. He said, you want to go to this place called Operation Restore Warrior, this retreat?

And I said, no, man. I said, yeah, I would love to. I'm about to go to prison for 15 years, though. I appreciate it, man. Thank you. I went to hang up. He said, no, no, wait, wait, wait. He goes, we won't judge you.

I said, no, you don't understand. A real judge is going to sentence me to prison. He goes, well, ask the judge if you could go to this retreat, a three-day retreat. I don't know this guy. I don't know how I got my number, anything. He just says this. And I said, I said, okay, okay, because I remember me crying out that night. I said, okay.

And so I asked my lawyer, and he goes, No, Jimmy, I said, listen to him. I said, listen to Arnold, you got 50,000 of my money. You're going to do something for me. Come on now. I said, don't, you know this ain't going to trial. I'm going to have to plea out, and I'm going to get like 12 years. I said, just do this one thing for me.

Ask the judge if I could go to this three-day retreat. He goes, okay, but he's going to say no. I said, just please ask you. Damn. He calls me back in an hour or two. It was real fast. He said, Jimmy, I don't know how to tell you this, but that Texas judge said, yeah, you can go. Just don't go even.

Don't run anywhere. I already had R2D2 ankle brace. Everybody knows me from three years ago. They saw me with a run around my mom's house. Yeah, my mom's house. I was running around with my ranger panties on and R2D2, man. And the probation officer was like, you know, you can't get this wet. I was like, good.

Seals hate the water, you know? Like, no problem, bro. And so I get to go to this place. And I come in the room and my hair kind of stands up a little bit. I'm like, man, I feel awkward in here, kind of weird, like weird, like, but good, strange. And it's not normal. And I set it down at this table. And there's these people at this place called Operation Restore Lawyer.

They had this cabin in Baltimore out of all places. overlooking a duck pond, like something you'd see Patriot outdoors or something in this wood cabin. And I sat down and the owner happens to be there of this place. And he looked at me and he said, Jimmy, are you ready to meet Jesus here? And he's going to tell you everything about your life

and show you direction. And are you ready to meet him? And I'm bust out laughing at him. Because he said for 100% there was a 100% chance he was going to change my life forever here and i laughed at him sean i bust i laugh i said bro i said you i said you guys have to be careful who you tell that to because you don't know who you're talking to i said what if that guy is going to prison for the rest of his life you give him false hope like that don't tell people that shit i i scored him i mocked him

i said jee's going to show up at this place and he goes jimmy he never changed he never change. He said, Jimmy, do you believe that Jesus died and went to, died and rose again on the third day, in three days? And I looked at him. I said, I think so. I think so. He says, anything's possible. So I went outside. I kind of laughed at him. And I went outside and I just put down my guard again and I went back into that guy crying out like my mom told me to. And I said, I said, Jesus, if you're real, I think you are. But if you're real, real, all I'm asking for, I'm not asking to get out of prison. I know I'm going. And I know I've done a bunch of terrible shit.

And I know I'm guilty as charged on all accounts for either responsible for guys going to prison for life or the death of many people. It worked. And so I said, take your best shot, go ahead, but I just want to feel you one time. And nothing happened. But the next day, the next day, they called me in. The very next day, they said, today's the day where you're going to meet Jesus. And he's going to tell you things. and they

I said, I'm sorry, can I get a tissue? Yeah, ma'am. Okay. And so the next day, they call, there's only three or four of us at this thing. It's real small. I don't understand it. I don't even know where I am, Baltimore,

at this duck reserve. I didn't know what Baltimore even had duck reserves. And I, there's a room, and they tell us to wait, and I'm always last in my life. My last name is Watson, W. you. So I'm always last. I'm always, you know, like the last guy in military, everything. So I'm used to waiting. So here I am. I'm the last person to go into this room. But a guy will go into this room. He'll stay there for like an hour or two and then leave

in shambles like a truck freight train hitting him. Like a snot coming down to the ground. It'll just like, like barely able to walk out. And I'm like, oh, hell no. I ain't down with I said, I swear on my life. I will walk out of there like a man. I will walk in as a man. I'm walking out as a man. There's nothing you can tell me this life that I have an experience, that I haven't seen, that I haven't done.

And there's no way you can say something to me to get me emotional and cry like this. Nothing. There's no chance. And so I prepared for it, embrace for any kind of weird shit they were going to do. But the second guy goes in, the last guy goes in, and they all come out in shambles. Red snark coming out. And I'm like, I'm like, pussy. Like that's kind of what I was thinking, like pussy, you know.

Sorry to language, but I go in and these two guys are sitting there. They kind of remind me a cop, you know, because they just got in their clean cut. And they got their little notepad. And I'm like, I ain't saying shit to these guys. You know what I mean? This can be a setup, you know, whatever. And so I'm real paranoid. And they say, this guy named Daniel goes, okay, Jimmy, can you tell us about your,

And by the way, I'm broken too. My left shoulder's like destroyed. I feel like something's in my body. Like, like, like, I'm just all messed up too, you know, on top of everything else. And I'm thinking, Jesus, how can you meet me here and even do something while I'm in so much pain as well? Like my body's in pain, my mind's in pain. I'm tormented. So I sit down in front of them and they said, Jimmy, will you tell us your story, please?

and I said, you didn't want to hear the whole thing, man. I promise you. They said, well, just tell us, like, go through it, and we're going to write some things down. This is what we do here. And by the way, we don't know your last name. They don't know my last name. The recruiter knows your last name that brought you in,

but they purposely don't know your last name. They just know me as Jimmy. They don't know my story. They see the big ankle bracelet on it. And I told them a little bit. And so I start going through my story, nonchalantly, it's kind of boring, and I just want to get through it,

and I'm thinking, the hell is this? Like, who cares? It's boring. And all of a sudden, Daniel says, Jimmy, you skipped over a part of your story. And I said, no, I did it. Like, as cool as an ice. As cool as ice. Like I'm playing the game, I said, no, I did.

He goes, yeah, you did. And I said, no. I said, let's move on. He goes, well, He goes, you skip the story of the love boat, the love shack. It's called the love shack, right? And I stopped. And I said, well, I guess this interview's over. And they said, no, why, why, why?

I said, I don't know what kind of game you're playing here. I don't know. I don't know how you know about McAfee's mansion. We called it the nickname. He said the nickname of it, the Love Shack. It was the Love Boat series. We called it the Love Shack. And he said, was that at the Love Shack?

When he said, was that, I thought, hell no, I'm out. Because people, they think they want a psychic and stuff. But when somebody actually says something real, that's like that, that hits, triggers you. I said, what the hell? And I said, how do you know about the love shack? And he goes, this is what we do here, Jimmy. Sit down. And I said, hell no.

I said, I'll stand. I said, he goes, will you tell us more? your story? I said, no, hell. I said, no, hell no. I said, if you know so much about me, I said, finish it out if you're so bull, if you're so freaking, if you, if you, if there's a real God here, Jesus, then finish the story. Don't just say love shack. Big deal. You can look, you can find that out somehow through somebody. And they looked at each other. They said, oh, Jordan nodded to Daniel. Daniel goes, okay. He goes, well, he goes, you, you walk up to the love, You call it the Love Shack, the Love Boat.

You walk up to it and there's a screen door and you open it. And when you walk in, there's a bathtub on the right, a big hot tub. And then there's three steps up and actually threw a guy off the three steps before. There was three steps up and then a cherry wooden door. And you walk in. And I go, so, I'm like, okay. And it was so accurate though. It was like he was reading the blueprints of this lovehouse.

And I said, okay? And I kind of, I shake my something like, okay, okay, go ahead. I said, and tell me more. He goes, well, there's an elevator on the right side covered by a cherry door, a secret elevator that goes up and down. I mean, who, how would you know this, right? And I go, and he said there's an armory where you used to keep weapons in a gray metal door and it's covered by a cherry door.

And I said, so? And he goes, well, you go up the stairs on the second level of the house. And I'm like, okay, that's pretty damn. That's okay. And he says, every room is named with a. He goes, he's like grabbing like this. He goes, a Latin long, a grid coordinates. I said, a Latin long, a Latin long.

Every room had a Latin long on it. It was Tahiti, Thailand, it was different names above the rooms. It's a beautiful. you at home my room was amazing I said okay he says and then you go up another flight of stairs in the third deck and I said yeah I said I just nod he says that there's a big shit and I finish I go shit there you well he said yeah and I go I said that's not good enough man I said you're gonna have to tell me more I said tell me more if you know so much about my life. I said, tell me more. And he just is describing this house that I was in, the Love Shack with

John McAfee, to the T, exactly every single detail. Like he's watching it on a TV, not even looking at me, kind of looking past me. And he says, there's boats that come up to the house in a canal, in a waterway, boats that come up and down. And I said, I said, and now, now, Sean, I'm shaking. I'm so, I'm furious, man. Because if somebody really tells you about a time in your life that not really many other people know about, that's something. It's not your birthday. It's not your Social Security number. It's something real.

It's something that nobody else knows about. And so I yelled at him. I said, if you know so much about me, I said, tell me more. Tell me everything. And he goes, okay. He said, there's your author. looked over a sound, a beautiful sound, and even called it a sound. And that's what it was, a sound.

And I yelled one more time, and the last time, I said, and I'm spit mad. They said they were terrified. I would stand up, and I said, if you know so much about me, I said, tell me everything. Tell me about my life. He said, okay. He said there was a path that you used to walk down. by yourself at night that only you know about. And I just felt out.

He told me about a path that I would cry out to God on. I would cry out to Jesus on. Are you serious? I'm dead serious. And I fell back and I walked out of that room just like those other three guys. If people ask me, how is this possible? And I say, just like the blind man that was healed by Jesus. they asked him who did this to you they were mad who healed you who made you see the Pharisees he says

I don't know but I was blind and now I sleep and now I see so I don't care what anybody says man that's what happened and so a lot of people have a reason not to believe maybe I have no reason because what it showed me was that you can run from yourself your whole life you can run from the law for a couple years, but you cannot run from God because he's in every dark corner and he's with you no matter what, man. In all your shame and guilt, he's with you. So no matter what happens in this life, no matter how much you lose, no matter who betrays you, no matter how guilty or shameful things that you've done, how deep and horrible your sin is, if you crack your heart open this much and you believe he's with you.

And that perspective change makes you a powerhouse, a warrior that's unstoppable. And after this meeting, Daniel said, after this experience, I'm just crushed. I'm laying there. And I even thought about not saying this part because I was afraid people may not believe

the whole story if I say this, But I'm going to say Jordan now, switches from Daniel to Jordan. He says, and he is, Jimmy, you have a, you have kind of like a sword sticking out of your shoulder, something sticky out. Like he could see into the demonic world that I had been wounded or something through my own sin or open doors. And I'm not saying all pain comes from sin, but I'm just telling you that I was, it's like he pulled the sword out. way in yeah and he touched my shoulder said can i touch you and remove it and i said yes i what option i have i just was like i just i was like this and he touched my shoulder and it prayed and it went away that pain went away um and then daniel said and one last thing jimmy before you leave and i don't know

if i can even take any more i don't know if i can tell you more it was such a hit i'm just there he goes one last thing Jimmy he said I see a chess board in the sky he said I see pieces being moved around you've been like a pawn your whole life God has been moving you and this is for people that are listening right now people you God will move you and position you like a chess game and the enemy will think that he's got you he's destroyed you forever and then he said and all I hear is checkbait Jimmy. I said, well, what does checkmate mean? He says, I don't know, but I think it means that your case will be dismissed. I said, that's not possible. That is not possible. All this may be possible, but that's not. He said, checkmate. When I got home, Sean, my lawyer called me, and the first thing he said to me

was Jimmy. I said, yes, Arnold. It was never good news with him. He said, checkmate. And I said, I said, what did you say? I said, what did you say? He goes, Jimmy, don't you mean what? Don't you know what checkmate means? He goes, I forget that. Forget what I said. He goes, it means your case is going to get dismissed.

He said, Jimmy, I've never seen this in my whole time. As a DOJ prosecutor turned major defense lawyer in Texas. He goes, I've never seen it once. And I said, this is what Jesus told me. He thought I went crazy. He was like, Jimmy Jimmy, say this. He goes, but he did. say, he goes, say a prayer for me, Jimmy, if that be true. I said, okay. And it's not like it was easy

going after that. It's like I dropped off two sea bags of bricks, hardcore, and I stood up a new man. I've never seen an airport so clean and nice as Baltimore airport. And that place ain't nice, you know? But I was just a new perspective. It wasn't like a, it wasn't like Jesus literally like came to touch me. It was like a new, it was a perspective shift, a real, no-joke perspective change. Like if you know 100% that God is with you, it's life altering change. I was like an eagle flying over the grand cage and Sean. And so it took months for my case to finally dissolve out. It was dismissed. But it's just the paperwork of the DOJ is long. So I spent almost two years on house rest. But it was the best time of my life. And I was restored. Everything was restored to me.

body not not like i was but you know okay i'm okay and my girl we finally got to meet up and uh and we stuck together we have a beautiful little two-year-old son jacob and a beautiful life in florida south florida south beach and my life has been totally redeemed and restored and i had one at one else wow dude yeah Yeah, and the FBI just were like, leave him below. The head prosecutor's name was Samson. I'll never forget. He wanted to destroy me.

He told my lawyer to tell me that he never lost the case in his life. And the DOJ, they were like the top of the seals of the DOJ, knocked out. And my lawyer was like, it's true. There's no fighting these guys. They are so bad. And throw, thorough. And he went from saying he wanted to destroy my life. life and steamroll me. He could care less about me. He literally told me that to writing the most

beautiful letter of release. And I don't know why. It's like an angel visit him in the night or something. And Arnold, I said, Arnold, how is that possible? And Samson wrote this? He goes, Jimmy, I don't know, man. He goes, I don't get it. It's weird. He had a big shift of favor towards you. And I wrote him an email. You're not supposed to do that. But I said, thank you. you Samson for sparing my life and he said no problem he said I wish you real well Jimmy yeah how long ago was that and that was 20 20 to 23 I think that was a good four years that's a solid four years ago now and it's not like it's like I never want to come across like these are all

great all the time. You know, we deal with all kinds of pain and pressures and things. The world and temptations come back around and all kinds of things. But I'll tell you, I have, no matter what happens to me, heaven or hell, here stands a man. Here's since a man who here's since a man who has no, no excuse. I have no choice. Others may have a choice to believe or not, but I have been left with no other reason but to believe because, and it is very biblical, because just so happens, Nathaniel is one of the disciples of Jesus. And as Nathaniel is coming up to Jesus for the first time, Nathaniel says to his buddy, this is not the real Jesus, it's not the real Messiah. And as he's coming up, he goes, can anything good come from Nazareth?

And he's mocking Jesus, but as he's walking up, Jesus goes, Hey, Nathaniel, here comes a man with no guile. There's no deception. And Nathaniel says, how do you know me? That's kind of arrogant, you know. He says, how do you know me? And Jesus says, because I saw you under the fig tree before you came. And he saw me on that path where nobody else knew about it.

And I will cry out to God on it. There's some powerful stuff. Total redemption and death to rebirth. And that's the message, the lighthouse. You know, and there's so many guys and girls right now that are lost because they don't understand this message. How can it be true? I just pray that somebody doesn't have to go through what I did

to get to that point of reconciliation. It's the true message of grace. in hope and freedom. I'm speechless. Have you ever tried to contact those two guys again? Daniel. Brother, I haven't spoken to Daniel a long time, and he texted me yesterday as I was coming to the show.

He said, Jimmy, you want to help us out with maybe some fund raising for ORW? You know, I was like, dude, out 100% bro. I'll help you whatever I can. What a crazy. I didn't know organizations like this existed in things. But I have, you know, Daniel, he's got a gift, obviously. Jordan didn't have this. Jordan's real gifted too, a very powerful guy.

But Daniel had this gift of seeing. And I was real curious about it. I said, Daniel, what did you see? Like, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what, what's going on? And he goes, girl, I don't know. He goes, he goes, uh, he goes, I just do what the Holy Spirit tells me. And, uh, he said, but, uh, he goes, but your case is weird. He goes, I've only had that specifically that clear of a vision twice.

Me and I was, uh, there was a country music star that many people know, but he kept that secret, of course. He said that, that what he saw was, uh, really, really, really, terrible stuff that they did in the country music business it it sacrifices and stuff and and that country music star was arrogant and but what he told him about what he had done in a hotel room as far as witchcraft and stuff they do at the high levels of hollywood he was uh left with no whether uh way out but like me but to believe but to look these things guys up ORW they've helped it's a small sounds like it small unit but they pray I didn't know this but they cared so much about me as an individual they they

fast and they pray for each person per class I'm probably not supposed to say that but for a couple for sometimes a week or two before they come have you ever done that I did. I fasted for maybe 21 days woodtime. You did a 21 day fast. I did a 21 day fast. And everybody was like, are you going to eat? They were scared. Like it's dangerous, Jimmy. What do you do it? I said, God will tell me when to eat. And around 20 days, I started getting comfortable with it. And I started to get comfortable with it. And I, I, walked in this hotel and the guy looks at me and he goes, you look like a man of God. Here's our free buffet. It's $40.

You should take it. And I said, brother, that's for me right there. And I ate and ate and ate. But weird stuff like that. Yeah. But I tell you, coming here hasn't been easy, Sean. There's been a lot of very difficult, strange things that have happened to me lately. and things don't happen to be like that.

I feel very secure, very at peace with my security, like safety, you know. I'm not an anxious person. I have a really healthy lifestyle, sober, healthy, nice. But the last two nights before coming here on this show, it's been just hell. Weird, weird, weird, weird stuff. and I'm like praying and stuff in my room and I'm like laughing about it because I know it doesn't have any power over me

like I know that it's not a 50-50 it's not a 49 51 battle it's a it's a it's a done deal when he said it's finished on the cross it's finished but the demons they're like hiatus you know there's some weird things have happened to me about hotel room and stuff just weird stuff

what's happening well one night through this stuff right now uh I'm going through this stuff right now now you're going through it right now yeah can you share it I've shared a little bit of it I want to wait till it dies down right or I do a whole thing on it but I want a clear mind before I do it right but it's been supernatural shit that's been happening around you or to you you see both yeah is it scary

yes and no I know what it is is makes it all more real. I mean, it's not, it makes it all, it just strengthens you. Right. Do you know what I mean? Right. Right. It's almost like, I don't even need a reminder anymore.

But it's like stuff starts happening. And it's like, oh, it's almost like a, no matter how scary it could be, it's like a, a bump in faith. Right. It kind of lets you know that you're onto something, right? Like it's kind of like it's like an indicator that you're on the right path. It's like my parents used to say the devil always overplays his hand. He always gives too much because he can't control people and they'll do too much or do this. And so you can kind of understand you're on the right path when bad things are happening.

Right? I've had picture frames fly off the wall out me. I've had severe allergic reactions to communion, like immediately after I take it, like immediately. Seconds. Yeah. All kinds of stuff. That's crazy, man. Because the last two nights, am I, am I condo in Miami?

it was like somebody came over with the symbols and crashed them in my face and I woke up and that I don't ever have bad dreams anymore that kind of stuff but that was like somebody was standing there as I was looking into the dark and I was like go away and I prayed

like it didn't affect me and then it happened again like he timed it till right when I was about to sleep and then it happened to be in the hotel room last night the stand just launched across the the room in the like the the the nightstand literally goes boom boom boom and fell like like

it's not possible man yeah it's somebody literally like a freaking linebackers in my room hit it and I tried to ignore it but it should be up I mean that kind of stuff I mean it just uh I don't like it you know scares the hell out of me in the moment of course especially when it's in the middle of the night but uh but but when it settles down, I'm actually thankful that it happened. Does that make sense? Yeah, yeah, yeah, absolutely. Because if that shit's real, you know, then the other's real.

Well, it, real. Yeah, I think one of the things that a lot of people are right now, they're confused at our economy, at our, at our lives, and what's going on with politics, but it, but it makes it a lot easier when you put it in two baskets good and evil for me it's like god is not the author of chaos and confusion so i know okay that's not a a good thing happening it's a dark evil thing but i also know whom the sun sets free is free indeed and i have to repeat that to myself a lot you know at the beginning of this we were talking about success and what it is and yeah you'd mention being a billionaire.

And you ran around with a billionaire for I don't know how many years and completely, totally miserable. Miserable. I've been around a lot of them now, you know, from this. They're going to be honest, not very many of them seem like happy people.

It's very rare, isn't it? Like, what is your perception? Do you think, do you ever meet that, some that seem like they have it together out of all the people you've, Maybe some of them, but I think it's also living in a cage. I think real success is just being free, man. Free.

I've never felt. It's giving. Right. It's giving. Give, give, give, give, give, give, give. Just give. Right. Like that's what makes me feel the best.

Every time I do it, I just feel great. Every time I, every time. every time. That's awesome. We've got all kinds of success here. We've hit number one several times. We're a top five podcast. We've got billions of views. We've had number one on YouTube all the time. None of that shit really matters to me. What matters is like that the success enables me to make somebody's day and pull them out of a dark spot. Or you just give them something in their life, that they're lacking, that they, that's a necessity or that makes it, makes it better for their family or worse. Things like that, man, far outweigh the materialistic

bullshit. You, you've helped a lot of people, to include myself, to come on here, what, and it, it's kind of lonely, though, too, isn't it? Because the, the, the, the, the, uh, the kickback, the return, I know we're not supposed to expect a return. That's why, but I think that's why that's what messed back the up is not being able to process that people are not as nice as you, not as loyal as you, not as giving as you, not as thankful as you. I've dealt with a lot of hurt in my life. Yeah, I used to deal with that. I still do a little bit, but you just, you, you, when I'm learning, I haven't learned it all the way yet, but. once you do the deed, you have to look away.

Right. You know what I mean? Because of four years, decades, I've always struggled with resentment. And I've always said, I've got therapy about it. I've had all kinds of talks and priests and ministers and pastors and therapists. and it always, you know, like you can't expect anything in return. You can't have expectations. And I've always said, like, I don't have an expectation.

There's no expectation of the head. But I guess there was. Right, because you still, yeah. And so I think the key is when you do give, when it, you know, you can, you can, You have to look away after you give. At least I do. I have to look away after I give. Otherwise, it'll send in.

Yeah, if I find myself seeking validation for person, place, or thing, especially like my, my girl, like, if I find myself getting hurt in any way about anything, I know that I'm seeking validation from something else other than the father, the only one who can validate, the real father in heaven. and so I'm always having to align myself back with why did I get hurt oh because I was I was wanting her to do something for me which she doesn't even know how they've proven women they can't even validate a man they don't even know how because men won't respect women don't even know what respect is they don't even know what respect means my girl literally is like what is it mean not because she's Russian but literally like what is what is this she's trying to make me explain respect. Try to explain respect. And it sounds idiotic. It sounds ridiculous. It means that you have to treat me like a kid. You know what I mean? You're like, you know, like, you don't get some king. You know, like what the hell? So, you know, what do you think your new purposes? Man, I'm going to fulfill

this mission till the day I die. I'm going to do my best, Sean. I'm not. I can't, you know, I used to make big promises and under deliver. But that, you know, I heard God. I heard God. I'm heard God very, very loud, clearly right after that encounter with Jesus. And I said, what would you have me do now? And he says, you will be a lighthouse to my people. And, and I said, oh, my God. I said, what do lighthouses do? And he said, I remember, he says, you know all about lighthouses.

And my response, Sean, was lighthouse's art for sale. Because Maccalfe had tasked me to buy a lighthouse for him. And I searched to and fro this world. And unless you're Elon Musk or yourself perhaps with major connections and things, you cannot purchase a real lighthouse, a real wood. Because they're on federal property. They're taken care of. and I think the problem with a lot of Christians today or whoever out there is they don't like things to be for sell.

They don't, you know, freely I give, freely I receive, you know, like you can't sell God's word. And so, you know, I like to consider myself a lighthouse. I pedaling that. I'm not pedaling the lighthouse mission. I have to work in other areas, you know, my peptide business, whatever. But I, I, I, uh, I think to be a lighthouse to light other people's torches at such a time as this. To motivate men, uh, and women with that, I don't know, the spirit of the same spirit that was in, you know, David, the same spirit that was in King Jayhu, uh, all these,

I think it's lacking. I think people forget the power that they can behold as an individual with literal. Faith is a muster see, just a little tiny bit. And we can move mountains, man. And if we could all grasp this, we would be a force to be reckoned with Ben. Well, if you can't buy one, then you've got to build it. You got to build it. That's right. So I'm all about wisdom, counsel, and moving in whatever way God wants me to move now, you know.

We're off to a hell of a start, man. Thanks, Sean. I appreciate you, man. For having me old, you know. That was some powerful, powerful stuff. Yeah. Especially at the end here. Thank you. By the word of their testimony and by the blood of the...

the lamb they broke through all evil and that's what revelations i think it's eight says that literally by the word of our testimony and by acknowledging who did it jesus you know chains of darkness can be broken up i mean i already feel amazing right now just talking about afterwards it's been a long day here but you know something about it is freak you know yeah man because you just gave gave that yeah that's right that's spot on a bit you are with a prayer yeah it's a great idea actually what's hoping you're gonna do you want to lead it go ahead you want you want to go her how about you do it okay all right all right uh dearly father i just thank you for bringing myself and shaw ryan's team together in his entire audience and everybody that's listening right

now. Father God, I pray right now that you would show up in everybody's life in a special way that heard this message today. And that no matter what they've been through their life, no matter what loss or betrayal or thing that is bad that they thought that happened to them, I thank you that you literally work all things together for the good for those who love you. And all we have to do today is crack our heart open just a tiny bit and really, receive the power and spirit of the line of Judah so that we can walk out of here on a warrior's path in a warrior's way today. And I thank you for healing to course through the veins of every person that's lost right

now out there and that's listening to this. In Jesus, mighty name. I got one more thing. Yes, sir. I just said you help Jimmy build his lighthouse. Amen. Amen. In Jesus' name.

Jimmy? Yes, sir. It was an honor, brother. Brother, it was up. No, my heart. No matter where you're watching the Sean Ryan show from, if you get anything out of this at all, anything, please like, comment, and subscribe.

And most importantly, share this everywhere you possibly can. If you're feeling extra generous, head to Apple Podcasts and Spotify and leave us a review.