Sherlock & Co. - 27 - The Retired Colourman - Part Two

Episode Date: April 2, 2024

HIDE AND REEK - the search continued and despite our best efforts and that of the police; Hoang's house proved time and time again to be devoid of evidence and bodies. The smell of paint was hiding the smell of death, my companions and I could only shut off our senses, our intruding thoughts, our worries and think clearly about the task at hand. Only then would Amber and Ray be found. For ad-free, early access to adventures in full go to www.patreon.com/sherlockandco Follow me @DocJWatsonMD or get in touch via email [e-mail] Listener discretion is advised. This podcast is property of Goalhanger Podcasts. Copyright 2024. SHERLOCK AND CO. Based on the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Paul Waggott as Dr. John Watson Harry Attwell as Sherlock Holmes Marta da Silva as Mariana Ametxazurra   Akie Kotabe as Hoang Lee Natalie Green as Lillian Barker Adam Jarrell as Rory Mackinnon Written by Joel Emery Directed by Adam Jarrell Editing and Sound Design by Holy Smokes Audio Produced by Neil Fearn and Jon Gill Executive Producer Tony Pastor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

For just £6 a month, you can get early access to ad-free episodes. Just binge those full adventures immediately. And that is just the tip of the iceberg. There's so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Just £6 a month. £6. Yeah, that is cheaper than parking at Heathrow for 29 minutes. Do you know that? Yeah.

29 minutes in a Heathrow car park or Sherlock & Co. members club. You decide. Patreon.com forward slash Sherlock & Co. Previously on Sherlock & Co. How can I help, Lillian? So I found... found something. You found... something. It was like a burial mound.

Like a... a mound of dirt. A burial mound? Yeah. What did you find, Lillian? Let me see. I bagged it. Here. And what exactly is it? It's £15,780 cash You're a fool

Oh, excuse me Sherlock, Dr Ernest and Mrs Lee have been missing for a week Her husband reported that he had been robbed to the tune of £15,780 in cash And you knew that The Colour Man? The Colour Man Who's the Colour Man, Rory? Oh aye, the Colour Man That was. Oh, aye. The colour man.

That was his company, Huang Li. Some decorating service. Sherlock, Mariana and John, this is Mr Huang Li. Hi, Mr Li. Doing a bit of painting, are you? Always. Fresh. Makes the walls feel new.

Can we address the elephant in the room here? He murdered them. He murdered them. The old Vietnamese bloke downstairs with about five teeth murdered his wife and her lover. He did indeed. Sorry, what the hell are we doing here? This is not that kind of case.

Wife of creepy man has affair. Wife of creepy man goes missing with lover. He's gloating, Sherlock. The man is gloating down there. Zugzwang. It's a chess turn. He's forcing us to make a bad move, putting us at an immediate disadvantage. The even playing field of turn-based games is that both sides simply must, always, without fail, make a move. His is a waiting move. And if it's effective... Zugzwang.

Strangling him, Sherlock. Stop! Nearly got it. Sherlock! That is a poor move, Wang Li. A very poor move. What was in his mouth? Mr Li here seems to feel the need to store a cyanide capsule

in the gum of one of his missing molars. The paint. The sheer amount of it. It isn't to cover the walls. It's to cover the smell. of one of his missing molars. The paint. The sheer amount of it. It isn't to cover the walls. It's to cover the smell. The smell of amber and ray. What have you done with the bodies?

Here I am. Thanks for letting me in your ears. Love what you've done with the place. The drum, the wax, everything. Love it. Looking great. Right, that's the nicest thing your ears are going to hear for the next half hour, I'm afraid. This episode contains death, human remains, swearing, blood. Do I need a disclaimer for blood in a podcast?

Don't know. Well, I've done it now. So, right, come on then. Let's go solve the adventure of the retired colour man. After you. Oh, you're soaked. Yep, and nothing to show for it. I told you. The back garden had no signs of disturbance in the soil.

I was checking the shed. The shed has a lock that is rusted shut. You'd never get in there. Yes, I know that now. Thanks. I mean, come on, they are bound to be in there, aren't they? You think the bodies are in the shed? It's impossible to get in there. It's an ideal spot as far as Wang is concerned. It takes much longer than a week for the iron of a padlock to oxidise. Right. Yeah.

Toilet. Sorry, are you asking or telling? Just go. Right-o. Don't fall in. What? It's a joke. Why would I fall in the toilet?

It's a stupid thing that people just go. Why do you even do jokes like that? I know, I know. Hey, look. Look. Huang. Murder I know. Hey, look, look. Huang, murderer. But also, look at that. Radio Times reader, says it all. Oh my God, will you stop with this?

I'm not doing anything. Might do a quick check of it, actually. Why do that to yourself? May have been a misprint. They might have meant to say, Watson is a competent true crime podcaster. And maybe... No.

Yeah, still says incompetent. Maybe do your shout-outs? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shout-outs from the house of a murderer. What lucky people you are. OK. To Suki. To Romy.

To Teonk. To Rami and Jones. All very special friends of the show. Premium pod pals. Yeah. To some person called Leaf. Nah, they don't get one. That's a joke! I'm so sorry I've missed you all this time, Leaf.

There's your shout-out. You deserve it. And Shappy, you can have one too. Hi, Shappy. out you deserve it and shappy you can have one too hi shappy to pepper the dancing canadian ice demon who sent me a video of them dancing in some sort of freezing ice storm in the middle of the night so you know nice to see what canadians get up to while we're all asleep isn't it uh shout out to clay or clonk you know whatever you prefer my friend. Gabriela Pinglow in Peru. And from Peru to Nebraska now.

Hey there, Quinn, Nicky and Wyatt. We've also got a much-deserved shout out to the Bullpups. Bullpup Bailey and Bullpup Evidently Harmless. Getting the full name drop here. Shout out to Lee Stars. That's right, Stars with a Z on the end sounds like an x factor winner shout out to marlena and michaela hello there and cecilia has very kindly got in touch and i'm going to go ahead and wish her brother arthur a very early but very happy 14th birthday. I broke my arm on my 14th birthday, Arthur.

So, you know, watch yourself. Yeah. Adriana's birthday was on the 12th of March, and I missed that by some distance. So, belatedly, happy birthday, Adriana. Thanks for that, Destiny. That's the name of the emailer. I'm not thanking the universe, or fate, or anything.

There's a noise. Uh, yeah. Yeah, it's John. What? Shh! Is Rory out the front? No. He's taken Huang Li to the station. Then who is out there? Okay, okay, here's what we'll do. I'll open the door, at which point Sherlock will dart for the road and block off any routes of escape.

Mariana and I will close down the intruder. But you'll be holding the door. Right, fine. You hold the door and I'll close down the intruder. What am I doing? For God's sake, you're closing off any potential escape. Oh, this is so dumb. Hey, hey, what do you think you're doing? Oh, shit! Shit, shit, shit!

You again. Who is it? I can't see. I'm holding the door. This is not a game, Lillian Barker. You made the call about the money. Um, this... This is helping.

Are you going through the guy's bins? I... No. So... So I was. I did, right? I have. But, um...

Look, my phone is in my hand. I'm literally going to call the police right now. Honestly. Literally, like, right have. But, um, look, my phone is in my hand. I'm literally going to call the police right now. Honestly. Literally, like, right now. Oh, wow. That's an old Ben. Oh, God. What did you find? Is this a trick? Why would it be a trick?

Like, I am going to tell you, and then you say I've broken the rules, and this isn't a game or something. What did you find, Lillian? So, I know that Huang Li's defence is that she... Amber took his cash savings, right? The day they disappeared. The cash he'd saved over years, right? What is it with you and this money?

I'm beginning to think you may well be his accomplice. No, God, Jesus, no. I was thinking that just because he didn't leave his house after they died, it doesn't mean he didn't bury the money. We know he buried the money. He buried it before. We need proof. Exactly. And this will work way better in front of a jury than just talk and speculation.

What have you found? He didn't leave the house, right? Because he knew it would help his case to stay put. But if he can't leave the house, he can't take out the bins to be collected. And in his bins... Oh, sorry, it kind of smells, doesn't it? You kind of smell, generally, to be honest. You've got a bit of cereal in your hair, by the way.

Yeah, sorry, yeah. Here, this is to be honest. You've got a bit of cereal in your hair, by the way. Yeah, sorry. Yeah. Here. This is what I found. Bank withdrawal receipt. £15,780. Withdrawn three weeks ago. So? Yeah.

He buried the money when they were alive. £15,780 is a weird amount, right? Well, yeah, only in pounds. Not if you're from a country that uses the American dollar all the time like the Vietnamese do. $20,000. $20,000. Boom! Exchange rate. The burial mound is circumstantial, but this is actually, like, evidence. The case of his defence just got that little bit more difficult.

Good work, Barker. Oh my God, thank you so much, sir. Is this illegal? Hmm? What? Eating a murderer's instant noodles. I'm not a lawyer, but it would be a weird law to pass. Yeah, still stealing though. Oi, they're like 30 pence a packet. True, true. All right, well, I'll leave 30 pence on the side for him when he gets out in 85 years.

God, it still reeks of paint, doesn't it? Oh, I'm way past even smelling it. I've got like a chemical headache. I feel like I could throw up. Well, if Sherlock is right, and this may shock you, but he usually is, the paint here is to cover up a different smell. Decomposition. And let me tell you, that would definitely make you throw up. Oh, makes me wish I was working for Hudson's again. Does it?

No, genuinely. Sometimes. With stuff like this. Yeah, I know what you mean. Did you ever think that? When you were at war? Would I have traded places with an estate agent when I was on the front lines? Er...

Nah. That's a joke. Yeah, maybe. Maybe once or twice. I kind of wish to be teleported back into a normal life. Like when? As in, when did I think that? Actually, right away.

Right as soon as I got there. Just arrived at the worst time in the worst place. Classic Watson timing, really. What happened? American Chinook helicopter was shot down right in front of me. 38 people dead.

I hadn't even been there 38 minutes. Wow. I... Yeah, you should have been an estate agent. Yeah, I should have. Well, I mean, you were one. Look what happened to you. Now you're dealing with dead bodies. Yeah, true. I got sucked in. That's right. You promised me a world of adventure. Yeah, and now look. You're sat on the floor eating instant noodles in a four-bed house in Lewisham. I say four-bed, it's a five-bed really, isn't it? I take back what I said about you being an estate agent.

What? It's five-bed. No, it's not. There's four upstairs. Master, the two at the back and the little loft cubby room. Yes, correct. Good counting. Here's a sticker, big clever boy. Shut up. There's four upstairs, one next to this room.

That's a study. No, come off it. They've put that in. Yeah, they have, but What? What if the paint So the paint is on the walls, right? Right, yeah, usually where it goes, but go on. What?

Oh God. What if the paint is on the walls because the Because the bodies... the bodies are in there. In the walls? If they put a room in downstairs, it wouldn't be brick. It would be plaster. Hollow. Hollow. Sherlock! What? The bodies! The bodies are in the walls! are in the walls. Always wanted to do this. Told you it's a handy high street. Hardware shop.

Sledgehammer? Yes, please. Jesus, what does? Let me look inside. Sherlock is currently looking... Excuse me. Christ. Dusty. He's currently looking into the wall that we've just broken open. Are you OK?

Yeah. Nothing. Shit. Nothing. Try here. A, that's an external wall. B, we've knocked through three walls already. I'm not doing the fourth.

Yeah, Sherlock, we can't break a fourth wall. Watson. I'm not breaking the fourth wall. Hi guys, just doing the edit here. And yeah, I'm about to break through the wall and use a phrase from The Shining. Don't know if that's copyrighted material. Don't know if Stephen King will come after me. But yeah, just thought...

Yeah. Do it. Oh, yeah, I'll just knock a hole in the side of the house and we'll end up outside with the weird bingo. Nope. This will be a cavity wall. Sure? Sure. Okie dokie.

Have some of that, you big brick bastard oh come on here's johnny i always wanted to do that spiders just a few a few more hits make up make bigger hole. All right, here we go. Die, you stupid wall. Die, you stupid wall? Take that, Radio Times twat. What's Radio Times? The Radio Times call them incompetent. Who's incompetent now?

Okay, stop. Stop, stop, stop. You okay? Yeah. No, I just... I need to lie down or, you know, slip into a coma. I'm going in the cavity. Give me your phone. Yeah, let me put the torchlight on it.

There you go. Thank you. You're welcome. Have fun in the wall? Will do. So I guess he's not claustrophobic. I guess not. Should we go help him? Nah, he loves this kind of thing. Back garden. Now.

What? What is it? What's out the back, mate? Here. The groundwork from the rear wall. Okay. Uh, huh. Looks like an old extension they took down, maybe. Very old.

It's an outline of a building that was once here, on the back of the house. You can kind of see its foundations. It's on the back of the house. And, yeah, tiny room, if it was. Toilet. You don't need to ask. Just go. No. Outhouse.

Toilet. That's what it would have been. Ah, yeah. Yeah, that makes sense. That's how it was in the old days when they built these things. Oh, he's left his loft window open in the pissing rain. Idiot. Probably because he choked himself in the smell of paint. There's a cellar. Has to be. Go smash that garden shed open. We need some shovels.

Yes! shed open we need some shovels yes okay so we are we found that the old toilet opens up so we're gonna go in through there in in theory in theory that should open up into a floor under the house. Obviously, my knee has blocked off. It's not unusual, I guess, to not use an old cellar. But it's very bloody unusual when you're being held on suspicion of double murder. The police have searched your house non-stop. And you have failed to declare it exists.

We're through. Yes. Well done, Sherlock. Okay, you go. Let's do this. Okay, yeah, it's a very dark, very damp cellar. They're not here. We haven't even looked yet. We'd know. Believe me. No smell. No smell. Shit. This is hurting us. This is Zugzwang, for goodness sake. Alright, yeah, here we go with the Zugzwang again.

Clumsy moves, just illustrating to a jury over and over that an exhaustive search discovered nothing. But it... we we've there's so much to properly explore down here there's an old fuse box down here lots of pipe work that makes sense obviously for the outhouse and toilet there's an old sink this would have been a scullery I suspect yeah agree with you there staff of the house would have had this as their living and working space. Cooking, cleaning. Looks like Lee or maybe previous owners stored stuff down here.

Not very well. Mostly wet. Some old CDs here. Oh, God. Cliff Richard. Right-side Fred. Mr. Blobby Hub. Oh, Christ.

No wonder he walled the whole room off. Are you guys all right? Jesus Christ. She's still here. Please. She's doing the same thing we're doing. Yeah, but we were here first. Plus, her podcast isn't even out yet.

Jesus Christ. What on earth? Yes, well, it's not as dramatic as it looks. The only legally questionable thing here is the music collection. He didn't hide them in here. No. Oh, you're joking. Can I help you search? They're not in here no oh you're joking can i help you search they're not in here how do we know though there's no smell the paint was to hide the smell

there is a smell yeah that might be you no it oh wait yeah maybe maybe you could go home and shower after you've been crawling through a bin that's's just a... Just a thought. What? Oh, God. Yeah, my hands smell like old milk. Is it absolutely necessary you join us, Lillian? Wait, let me wash my hands. Oh, I don't think those pipes work. I can't do any soap, so I'll just rinse a second. Oh, my God!

What is it? Blood! There's blood! Where? There's blood coming out of the tap! Oh, Jesus Christ. OK, I'm turning it off. Lillian, are you OK?

Do you need to take a moment? Is there... Oh, God, it's all over me. It's all over me. Why is there blood coming out of it? Oh, God. Oh, God. Hey, all right, Lillian.

Let me just... Sherlock, can you take the mic? A second. I'll get Lillian outside. Maybe the rain can wash off some of this. What does this mean? You know what it means. Yeah, right.

You do. Do I? And because of your observation, I know what it means also. Well, yours and a comment from Watson. God. I should probably start going through these boxes, see if there's clues. Follow the thought.

Don't run away from it. Look, it's really, it's not, it's not totally a formed thought, so... It's natural to be scared when you know what you'll find at the end of it. I just don't want to see the bodies, Sherlock. Okay? You don't have to. I will do it. Follow it.

The, um... Watson remarked that the attic window was open, even through this rain. I know. Then tell me. It's the old water system. These pipes are still connected to it. Where do they lead?

Well, they will go up to the top of the house, to a large tank, full of water. The window to the attic is open because... Because Ray and Amber are decomposing up there. In the tank. And that's... Well, that's why the tank is full of blood. And that's why these taps are spewing it out over poor Lillian. Come with me. Okay.

Okay. Where are you going? Um. Wait, here, look. This way. The rain, Mrs. Hudson. There was no rain last night. Now the rain has come.

It will show us exactly where it is. Where what is? The rest of the attic. Oh, God. What are you doing? Feeling for something. For damp. For damp.

Here. Stand on my hand. I'll lift you. Um, okay. Ready? One, two... Okay, I'm up. Okay, now your turn. Come on.

And up. Okay, and up. Thank you. There, that's a false wall. So, the tank is at the back. And there's the smell. I see it. The water tank.

Oh, God. Sherlock, I really... I will do it. You've got to take the lid of the tank off. It should... It should... Slide. Slide.

Checkmate. Well, it was just a belief at first, Mr. Lee, right? Made for a slightly shaky legal position. The foundation of death is a body without life, Mr. McKinnon. If this is how you wish to take me to trial, then that is your move to make. Well, I'd better go make that move then. Oh, and, Hoang, I forgot to mention, pal. You might want to dry out that attic of yours. Really nasty up there.

See you in a bit. That was D.I. Rory McKinnon. Huang Li later went on to confess... She's quite good at this true crime thing, huh? Yeah, she is, isn't she? Hey, not as good as you, of course. Oh, stop. You okay?

Yeah. Yeah, I'm better now. That's the power of a cup of tea, my friend. Cures everything. How did you make it as a doctor? I think we both know the answer to that question. The real story here is about what the rage and hatred of this man could do to those around him. All it took was this slight heartache in his life to rip people apart,

ending the beautiful lives of beautiful people who deserve to reach retirement, just like he did. Don't forget, folks, in next week's question and answer episode... So, she released it. She released the episode. Yeah. So, she released it? She released the episode. Yeah. So what do we do? I mean, she's just got

a little podcast. Like we did once, I suppose. I don't know if... I don't know if we should release this episode. No? Let her have it? Yeah, let her have it. Give her this moment. She's tenacious, she's hungry, and she makes a difference. Good for you, John. That is really big of you.

Hey, it's not about us. It's about Amber and Ray. What are you doing? Calling Goldhanger. I can't really make this decision by myself. I'm just going to get the all clear. Hey, hi. Hello. Yeah, it's John Watson. Listen, just letting you know

that there's going to be no adventure this week. Yeah, well, we met another true crime podcaster and they did a great job on the case and we want to let them have this moment. Yeah. Yeah. Okey dokey. Great.

OK. Bye then. Bye. Bye bye. Bye. Bye. Yeah, they said no well

gruesome stuff apologies but I don't commit the murders I just solve them well we all do as a team get in touch drjwatsonmd at gmail.com rate us if you can give us five stars

want more stuff want more of me and the gang and some early access ad free listening go to patreon.com forward slash sherlock and co thanks for listening see you next time

from a very competent podcaster yeah cheers guys take it easy can i borrow the sledgehammer absolutely not sherlock from a very competent podcaster. Yeah, cheers, guys. Take it easy. Can I borrow the sledgehammer? Absolutely not. Sherlock!