Sherlock & Co. - 41 - Shoscombe Old Place - Part Three

Episode Date: July 9, 2024

A BONE TO PICK - that would be putting it mildly given our grievances towards Robert Norbertson. It was time to confront the steward of Shoscombe Old Place and get answers as to Beatrice's whereabouts. For merchandise and transcripts go to: www.sherlockandco.co.uk For ad-free, early access to adventures in full go to www.patreon.com/sherlockandco Follow me @DocJWatsonMD on twitter, or sherlockandcopod on TikTok and instagram.  To get in touch via email: [e-mail] Listener discretion is advised. This podcast is property of Goalhanger Podcasts. Copyright 2024. SHERLOCK AND CO. Based on the works of Sir Arthur Conan Doyle Paul Waggott as Dr. John Watson Harry Attwell as Sherlock Holmes Miranda Langley as Carrie Evans Harry Frost as Robert Norbertson Written by Joel Emery Directed by Adam Jarrell Editing and Sound Design by Holy Smokes Audio Produced by Neil Fearn and Jon Gill Executive Producer Tony Pastor Learn more about your ad choices. Visit podcastchoices.com/adchoices

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Benefits vary by card, other conditions apply. For just six pounds a month, binge ad-free adventures in full and have access to so much more over at patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Previously on Sherlock and Co. Lots of chatter about Beatrice and Robert right now. You know what happens when she goes, don't you?

When she dies? Yeah, what happens? Well, it ain't his estate. It ain't ours either. It was her husband's, so when she goes, he goes back into the Folder family. Think his nephew or something gets it. You know what Robert's like. He's convinced himself he's bloody-eye-born. I'm John Watson, by the way.

John Watson? Harry's son. Well, bugger me. Ha! I do apologize, John. Goodness. Yes, Iger me. I do apologize, John goodness. Yes, I see the... I see his eyes and his cocky little smile. The cheeky bastard he was. Yeah, that's the one. How are you doing? How's your mum? Is she okay? Yeah, all good. She's good. She sends her best.

Lovely. To you and Beatrice? Yes, no... I'll pass the message on. But that chat with Robert, he played a bad hand, didn't he Sherlock? He did indeed. Very bad. Yeah, he referenced Gary Lineker. But as Sherlock pointed out, Robert claimed to not know who I was.

But then, he couldn't help himself but mention Lineker. So, he does know who I am, but, for whatever reason, he's pretending he doesn't. So we are inside the mausoleum. Here lieth the bodies of Sir Edward for the night. Oh fuck, what was that? Don't shush me. Watson, please be quiet. Oh, I know, I know what's going on. I'm going insane.

I can hear the corpses from the 17th century crying into the night. I've lost my mind, I've lost my mind. It's great, it's great, it's great, it's great. If there's somebody down there, they came in via another route. If there's another route, we can get out. Counterpoint? If there's somebody down there, there's somebody down there!

I'm confident in our abilities to subdue the visitor. I... yeah. Well, I mean, yeah, me too. Okay, right, okay. Dark, chilling air, full of the dead. Okay, okay, let's go into the crypt. Let's go into the crypt. Welcome to the final part of the adventure of Shoscombe Old Place. This episode contains swearing, general dread and stuff, and a medical emergency. Okay, right, erm, even darker than the really dark room we were just in.

How much battery on your phone? Erm, 8%. Okay use my light here. Oh okay we are now in a crypt which is cold and dark and about 800% scarier than the already scary mausoleum that we were just in. The noises, cries, whatever they were, seem to have faded slightly. These tombs bring us closer to the modern day.

Look, 1700s, 1800s. Oh yeah, yeah. Holtenfelder, late to rest, 1815. Mary Elizabeth Falder, late to rest, 1844. Listen. Stay perfectly still. Footsteps. They're becoming distant.

Do you think he knows we're here? Shh. Look. Oh, I can see. Light. Natural light. Another way out. Follow it. Okay, can see. Light. Natural light. Another way out. Follow it.

Okay, through here. Come! Sherlock. He's getting away! Hurry up! Sherlock! Sherlock! Bones.

What? There's bones everywhere. These should be in these tombs, shouldn't they? They should. What was he doing in here? This is insane. Look. Sir James Falder, 1929-2015.

What about it? It's been pried open. What's inside? Nothing. Everything alright with Archie? Yeah, she erm... I guess she doesn't have my number blocked anymore. She just messaged, took him back to her room when we didn't show up, so... Her room?

Yeah, in the big old Shosken house. Shouldn't we go and retrieve him? It's 2.14amm. Right, yes of course. I'm gonna get back, don't worry. It's just he seemed awfully fond of her. All right, he's confused. He misses her. Do you? Ha ha ha, no. Nope. No thank you. Moved on. Thank you very much. Got a new life. Got this guy right here. Your microphone. Yep.

Is this going to be like the gentleman with the Hoover? No. I'm saying I have a new life. This, this and you and Marianna signify that new life. And Archie. Yes, and I will get him back. Okay. Night night. that new life. And Archie. Yes, and I will get him back. Okay. Then act. If he wants to come back.

Why was Robert crying? If that was him in the crypt. Is he... is he grieving? Who is he grieving? Put the clues together and ask yourself again. The clues... errrr... so erm... yeah Beatrice, his sister, hasn't been seen for a while, but he's claiming she's alive and well. However, despite that claim, he got rid of her dog and is selling her cars, so he could have killed her if he's going to be the beneficiary. But if she dies and the house and lands are returned to the blood relatives of her late husband

and the late husband is missing from his tomb... The ash. The ash. Ash. Well, you can't have fires in these woods, so... Is the ash being transported? Is... Is it... Did he burn their bodies? Sherlock, has he been burning bodies?

We have a final card to play. Which is what? The house. Yeah, of course Chimney smoke in the height of summer Oh god, I feel awful leaving Archie in there now as if I didn't feel shit enough already, you know letting her Yeah, get him all excited and that's probably messing with his head, isn't it? Yeah You know what

This is bollocks actually Are we heading off? If she thinks she can just swan back into his life like she didn't completely abandon him after lockdown, she has got another thing coming. Absolutely. And this is typical old John Watson, you know, that's just the guy who's like, oh yeah Carrie, go for it, go for it. Yeah well sorry love, you know, you made your bed, now you can lie in it and why can't I get out with this sleeping bag? you can lie in it and why can't I get out with his sleeping bag? I was thinking maybe during the confrontation I could have a little browse around the house. Browse around the house?

Do it in the morning, get a tour. It is the morning. Yeah but I was thinking maybe the other side of 3am, Sherlock. I feel it may be worth reminding you we have a case. Just give me a minute while I get my head straight. She's not answering her phone. Oh that's quite alright. Nice and warm. Plenty of windows open. Keep calling her. I'll listen out for the sound on the phone and locate the window. She puts do not disturb on on her phone when she sleeps. So no ringtone, no vibration. No. Not to worry. Well, I don't want to just climb in through anyone's window, Sherlock. Nope, nope, quite right.

We'll listen out for snoring. She's not much of a snorer. No. But Archie is. Good point. And I know that distinct snore when I hear it, which is all through the bloody night. Here. Listen. At least she's ground floor. Indeed. I hear it, which is all through the bloody night. Here, listen.

At least she's ground floor. Indeed. Down this way, mate. Yes, I know. But we once again have smoke. There. Chimneys of the East Wing. Takes a long time to burn bodies without a furnace. Carrie! Carrie, wake up! It's John! John? Where are you?

By the window, here. Oh, okay. Wait, wait. Where did you go? You said you were stuck. Yeah, just a work thing. Where's Arch? Oh, he's on the floor. I'll pass him through. I think it's better if we... come in.

She can just pass him through. We'll see you at the front door. No, I'll pass him through. You better hurry, or I'll ring the main bell. Oh, just wait! Come on, Watson. What are you doing? Getting us inside.

See? Not breaking and entering. Yeah, really grown, mate. I'm very impressed. Just wait there, I can bring him through. Just need to use the toilet, actually. Excuse me. What are you doing? What am I doing? You told us you no longer work for Shoscombe Estate. Yet, here you are. Excuse me, nature calls. John?

He's right, Carrie. You're hiding something. Just grab him and go, please. He needs the toilet. Not him, Archie. This is... I'm not being all squabbling exes, Carrie. There is an actual investigation going on here. Oh, did you leave your gun and your badge behind then?

Where is she then? Who? The woman you are paid to care for. Where is she? Work must be going so well, John, that you come all the way down here because of some local gossip. Well, you can absolutely have that. By all means, you can have that one.

If you can tell me where she is. Saint Tropez! Oh, and she's selling the cars all of a sudden? Guess so. And she left her dog behind, did she? Look, people do that. Life can be suffocating. What do you want her to do? Stay put? Life's too behind, did she? Well, look, people do that. Life can be suffocating. What do you want her to do?

Stay put? Life's too short, John. She has a responsibility to the dog. Maybe she didn't get the dog because of her... Maybe she got it because she thought it would fix something that she felt was broken and it didn't, so she left. Maybe that's what it is. Are we still talking about Beatrice, or...?

Very serious investigative work. What's your mate doing? Pissing all over the seat to get one back at your ex? You don't have to do whatever it is you're doing right now, FYI. Um, what is it that I'm doing? Being defensive, I'm not... you know, it's done. You went off with Chris, I'm... whatever, you know, it doesn't matter anymore. I'm not attacking. Well it feels like you are. Then I don't know what to tell you, anymore. I'm not attacking. Well, it feels like you are. Then I don't know what to tell you, Carrie. I'm fine, by the way. Yeah, fine. Just a couple of operations on my leg and a year of physiotherapy and rehabilitation.

John. Where's my dog? John. Where is he? He's in there. Mm-hm. Hello, May, Arch't you, boy? It's me!

Ha ha, ha ha, yeah. Yeah, good boy, good boy. Come on, come on, back to the tent we go, mate. What's, where you, where you got, what's? Oh my God. Watson, I found something. Eh, everything all right? It was in the makeshift bed he had on the floor.

He must have found it somewhere and fallen asleep chewing it. What exactly are we talking about here? A bone. Femur. Upper condyle. Human. Human. Bring her in here.

Carrie? Carrie, can I borrow you a second? No, you can't. Can you just get out please? Oh jeez, um... He... There's something wrong with him. What? Yeah, erm... Oops, sorry. Didn't mean to slam that.

A tad overexcited. What's going on? He's fine. Then why did you... What is it? Carrie, what is this? It's a bone. He was just chewing it. Rather dangerous, believe it or not.

For dogs to chew bones. When they break into shards, they can do some damage to the throat lining. Right, okay, fine. Sorry. And who is he chewing? What? Carrie, this is a human femur. No, it isn't.

John, is this a joke? It's not a joke. Where did he get it from, Carrie? What are you talking about? Where did he get it from? A human bone! How the fu- how am I supposed to know? I know where he got it from, Watson. From one of the many fireplaces in this place

that have been running most days and nights despite the warm weather. That is to stop the chimneys from getting clogged. No. It's actually to incinerate human remains to conceal a death in the family. Carrie can you please please come clean with me? Actually I rather feel like I should come clean. What? I wasn't in the toilet just now. I was in the study at the end of the corridor there.

Okay. That is all. That's... that's not really coming clean. Did you find anything? Yes, I did. But it's not much to do with her. But she... Sherlock, she knows where Beatrice is.

She's in Saint Tropez! She doesn't have a clue, Watson. She's not in Saint-Tropez, Carrie. Yes, she is. No, she's not. Oh, well, I don't know. She's somewhere hot. She was somewhere extremely hot, actually.

Hence why she's now scattered over Shoscombe Woods. What? Carrie here is not completely innocent. She was tasked with stealing your backpack the other night. But otherwise that's all she's guilty of. What? Robert said you were making a podcast about me. Sorry, can we just rewind for a second? Why on earth would I do that?

He made it up, Carrie. Robert knows who we are. He speculated the reason why Watson was here was to record a new case. The case of his missing sister, Beatrice Fulda. He wanted you to take the backpack. Robert hoped that with the microphone gone the investigation would go with it. Why did you go through the woods? So no one would see me. Yes, thought as much. Carrie, did you ever learn to drive a manual? What? You know what I'm getting at, we're not gonna hold it against you. Yeah, no I didn't. Hence why Jo saw the car being driven badly before she

disappeared. Robert made you drive around in the car being driven badly before she disappeared. Robert made you drive around in the car, didn't he? Dressed as her. He did, for a little bit, yeah, but I got freaked out and he just... he said that everything was fine and then she... he said that she went to Saint-Tropez. Did he kill her? No, not in his interests. Then what did he do?

Let's go ask him. Chop chop! So he's not in the campsite and filling them lot of search-and-search bleeding out so... I'm stumped lads, I'm stumped and I'm knackered. And they've checked the crypt. Yeah, they said there's nothing, they said it on the walkie-talkie. Great. Great, thanks Joe.

Wait, what about the other fireplaces in the house? Weren't in for the heat to die down on them but... It looks like more bones lads. lads god yeah no wonder he's hiding out after all that oh honestly i mean just staggering you know bobby nobber eh yeah well thanks joe you should get back get back written by Written by Paul McCartney. Actually came up with it at the melody sessions during the rehearsals at Twickenham Studios. Mmm, yep. I hope you find him, lads.

It's easy to say now, innit, but when there's a wrongin' you just know it, don't ya? Yeah, that gut feeling, yeah, yeah. He was always pissing on about other people, weren't he? Always calling out others for being dodgy or shady. People in glass houses, eh? Exactly, yeah. Anyway, anyway, Joe, we're gonna crack on. Yeah. See you, lads. You and Mum doing alright, John? Yes, Joe, yeah, yeah, yeah. She's fine. Cheers, mate. The state of that fleece he's wearing, just the giant face of John Lennon.

He is exhausting. Speaking of, Archie is passed out on my foot. Glass houses. Glass... yeah, it's an expression. People who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones. Sort of like, your circumstances are more fragile than others, so don't go casting judgments. Rather stupid place to hide as well. Er... yeah. Yeah, not really the point of the expression, I don't think. No. Look. Where? The car museum. The car museum. You see? Oh my god, there he is. Joe! Yeah? Perhaps you could take Archie for a moment. We have some business to

attend to. to attend to. Not going anywhere in that thing, I hope. No. No, I'm probably not, am I? Could I ask you to step out the vehicle? Was I speeding, officer? Robert. Right now.

Sherlock, just- He has keys in the ignition and the bifolding doors to this building are open, Watson. James Folder took this thing to three consecutive Grand Prix's. Three of them. In a row. You know how old he was when he did that. 29 years old. 29.

Very gifted guy. Ha! Gifted! Gifted with a load of pleating dosh and every opportunity that comes with it. Robert. My father was James' age. He nearly starved to death in a Nazi POW camp. They pulled his teeth, they pulled his fingernails, they branded his skin. He was there for four years.

Do you know where Sir James Folder was during the war? Ireland. He was in Ireland, managing some land for his daddy. Sure, that must have been very challenging for him, eh? No. My dad comes home and welds his life away in some asbestos-filled hut for the railway lines. They shut them all now, anyway, so that was a waste of his time. And his life, eh? Nice little outlet shopping center there now, though, eh? The old railway builder's yard.

Get yourself a pair of Adidas shoes a third off. Funny, innit? Blokes that tortured my dad were wearing the same brand on their feet. Funny old world. His dirty old workshop became their shiny new shop. They took the asbestos and lead paint out for them, of course. Nice like that. Where was my dad's opportunity, eh? Where was mine? The world is an unfair place, Robert. Course. You know it, don't you? Just look at Harry Watson, eh? Gives his life, and what's your mum got for it, eh? Two up, two down in Toccanum But nah, no, come on. I'm whinging. Look at my life, eh?

Sister Mary's a folder, a racing hero, eh? Get to live in that great house. Look after his cars There's no crime here Mr. Holmes. That's for the police to decide. Harry didn't get the microphone then did she, hey? It's a good show you put together. Never thought I'd be, yeah, on it like this. I saw the codacil. The what?

The codacil. In the study. What is The what? The codicil. In the study. What is that exactly? Robert can tell you. That was locked away? Yes. Behind a portrait. I know you think that's a portrait of the Falders.

You'll notice on the inscription it was actually a Scottish noble family. It also had an Oxfam sticker on the back. Obviously not a prized possession, so it's there for a reason. To conceal the safe. I didn't realise I'd left it unlocked. You didn't. It's a three-wheel combination lock. Three numbers from nought to a hundred. It was James's study. He won three Grand Prixs in a row. You just said it yourself. 48, 49, 50. Very impressive.

Another gifted young man. Aren't we lucky? Can we get to the point of the... Codacil. You hid it. Did you think it was going to be stolen? It's an addendum to a will. The Folders recognise the will, but

not the codicil. Why not? Because of what it says. Robert will have my cars. If Beatrice is forbidden in my place of burial, then spread me with her in our forest. That is why, Watson. He was right. They told her right after he died. You can't go in there, love, in that crypt. Not with the Knights and the Highborne. Robert, where's your sister? Where's Beatrice? She died in May, John. She'd been very unwell. Then she had a very bad night, was struggling with her breathing. I went to call the doctor, she told me not to, of course. Thought she was being stubborn, but she had a whole thing planned. Get the festival off the ground, take care of the dog.

Poor old Jasper. He was just whining outside her door non-stop. They couldn't be here, so... Yeah. Couldn't tell anyone she was gone. Couldn't cancel the festival. Even had Carrie driving her old spaniel four cylinder around. She nearly ripped the gearbox out, poor girl. Just to hide the truth. All this was Beatrice's plan, you know. Her orders. You know what she was like, eh? Keep calm

and act like she was alive. Wouldn't get that on a tea towel would you? Yeah, just until I could secure a life for myself. Before this old house went back to the blood relatives. By selling the cars? The spaniels, the prints. I just... They can't have them, John. They don't deserve them. The relatives, you mean? What are you gonna do? I think you mean, what were you gonna do?

I was gonna get the money in and go... Just go... Abroad or... Don't know, really. They can have their mansion back. I respect the law. I respect legal paperwork and a man's dying words, even if they don't. And how would you evade the authorities, Robert? I didn't do anything anywhere near as bad as what they're trying to- You cremated her.

Yeah. You have... You have no idea what that... That takes. You exhumed Sir James and cremated him as well? Yep. I just... All I had was the fireplaces. There's always eyes on me out there. Everyone just talking and talking. I've scattered them. Now they're back amongst their trees where they used to walk every day,

where they'd pick wild mint and nettles and have them as a herbal tea. I used to say to them, how'd you bloody drink that stuff? Yeah. Yeah. Don't really know what to do now. You will wait there for the authorities. Sherlock. What? Watson.

Nothing. I didn't kill her. I'm not a juror Robert My conclusions have been reached and this is where I leave you or I Leave you hey Robert Robert. No the engine off Immediately what chance do I have hey against those sought in accordance law? No, you have every opportunity to prove your innocence, Robert. You and I disagree on what constitutes opportunity, Mr. Holmes. Oh, shit!

I'll get you. You can radio the front gate. What are you doing? Looking for some keys. Why? Because I've always wanted to drive one of these things. John Hamish Watson. Don't Hamish me.

You cannot. How many times do I tell you not to do something? Plenty. And does that stop you? No. In fact, it rather encourages me to do the opposite. Yeah, now I know the feeling. See you in a bit.

Oh, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ho, ah, Jesus God, it's really hard to commentate. Oh, statue. Ah, God, I really took her boobs off. It's really hard to commentate and drive at the same pissing time.

God, I'm on the grass. Ah, ah, oh, oh, oh, oh. God, you found respect for Jeremy Clarkson. Ah, cattle grit. Right, okay, he's heading out the South Gate. Maybe call Sherlock? Yeah, don't email in, I know I'm breaking the law. It's from the 1950s, this car, it doesn't have Bluetooth.

Watson, what's going on? Tell Joe Robert is heading to the South Gate. Go do that, Watson. What are you going to do if you catch him? I have no idea. Bye! Robert! Robert, stop the bloody car! For what?

For...oh god, I don't know. Vindication! For justice! Do me a favour! Oh Christ, I'm on the grass again. Just back off, John, alright? What does it matter to you? It matters because you did the right thing But this this bit right now. This is the wrong thing Hey can't have the prince Robert. Hey, are you going Robert? Oh god? No, he's going to the lake Robert Robert. No

Robert fucks sake Robert get out of the car, you can't, ah, Jesus. Robert, he's knocked himself out. Robert! Watson. He's, the car is sinking. Get out of there. He's stuck, he's stuck where is he he's at the bottom. There's a release. An arm on each of us John. Yes, yes.

Good. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. One, two, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Is he alive? Oh my god. John. Shut up, everyone, shut up. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Carrie.

What? Is he, is he dead? Sh-sh-shut up! Just take the spaniel, go to the top of Buckton Lane, get the defibrillator from the St Mary phone box. Okay, okay, I'll be... Two minutes, Chops. Two minutes. Sherlock, shine a light in his mouth, check there's no obstructions for me. His tongue is lolling slightly.

Okay, okay, let me lift his head a little. Come on, Robert, come on. Why aren't you doing breaths? I'm switching to 30 compressions and two breaths. I can feel his lungs are full it's just his heart we need to get back. Listen for me. Uh-huh. Can you hear anything? Any any thumps or like spasms in there? No, nothing. And his neck for me please. No pulse. Jesus come on Robert come on! Watson! Stupid bloody bobby knob heads, come on, come on! One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz do come on come on come on don't give it to me you're doing it I keep doing this

okay right okay remove his top Joe give me a stupid Beatles jumper. Yeah here dry his chest with Joe's top. Okay drying yes. No no don't put them there that's that right pad but under his right collarbone next to my little finger there yeah okay now the left pad side in line with his armpit yeah there you go okay pass me that white cable with a sticker on. This? Yeah, let me put it under my hands. Okay, I'm gonna stop compressions and let the sensor read him. What does it say? Apply shock. Joe, stand back. Sherlock, hit the button. Clear!

What does it say? Calculating. Apply shock. Clear! What does it say? Calculating. Apply shock. Clear! What does it say? Calculating. Rhythm. Err, there's numbers. There's numbers. What's the numbers?

112, 132, 135. Okay, turn him on his side. There we go. He's coughing. He's moving. Oh thank god. Oh man! Oh!

Hello again, trickling Thames. I really hope there's no sewage in you. I mean there's gonna sewage in you. I mean there's going to be, believe me, quite a journey you've got ahead. It's not all shit, you know, you've got Henley, you can take your time, you'll be there for the regatta. Well I mean Reading and Slough will be a challenge, then Windsor, don't know if you're into Royals, but you'll slosh around there for a bit. Then, uh, yeah, I'll see you again in London, there my life is now. It won't be plain sailing.

That's a pun. Sailing, because- Will this conversation be going on any longer? Uh, not sure. Not sure. Can't I even go a little mad? After all that, not even just a tiny bit? I'd rather you didn't. I've packed, by little mad. After all that, not even just a tiny bit. I'd rather you didn't.

I've packed, by the way. You... You what? I've packed. Have you actually? Yes. I realise this may not have been straightforward for you, so I decided to make things easier. Thank you, mate.

Thank you. Are you feeling okay? Er, yeah. Yeah. No. Just... Long, old holiday. Joe sends his regards. Ah, cool. Yeah. He had some rather touching words, actually.

Did he? Yes. He said that you are a remarkable man, Wiltshire's finest. Oh, that's, um, really kind. He says your dad is cheering from the cheap seats in heaven. Ha! Ooh, can't make me well up here. Then he said, There are places I'll remember all my life, though some have changed, some forever, not for better. Some have gone and some remain. All these places had their moments, with lovers and friends, I still can recall. Some are dead and some are living.

In my life I've loved them all. I thought it was rather moving. You seem unmoved. It's a Beatles song, mate. Ah. Yeah. That is a shame. I thought it was rather pertinent. Yeah, well, he... Where's Archie? I told you. I packed. What, the dog?

Yes. Look, see? He can peer through the zip and air holes here. Sherlock! He's comfortable. He's had a long holiday. I've had a long holiday. Where's my bag?

You're stressed, and you're lashing out at those you love. Oh, well you just... You're losing your mind. You spoke to a river. You put a dog in a bag! That was the adventure of Shoscombe Old Place. Part documentary, part soap opera. I hope you enjoyed it. Don't forget, I'm really cool. Don't forget I'm really cool

and thus I'm on TikTok and Instagram. Sherlock and Copod all one word. Thank you for listening, see you next time. Bye now, bye bye. You